Speaker 1: In the year two thousand and seven fourteen, a new
squad of operatives was chosen by the College of Illusion.
These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at
every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can hire
the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Felsoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag.
Speaker 4: And Jesse Wicks as Bill Cuilance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 5: When last we left our heroes, we were taking a nap.
They were caught up in the Casa de McAllister where
they were trying to escape the House of Traps, and
had a brief altercation with Governor Kevin. And then they
found the bag that Elena had warned them about, which
was full of ten enchanted ID cards security cards for
them to get into someplace, presumably Shotless Tower. And then
they left that. They got some rest and called it
a night, got prepped up for their voyage, hit the
road for a perilous journey to Shalla's Tower. And while
they were traveling, Eddie forgot to pack the food.
Speaker 2: I packed it, I just left it on the roof.
Speaker 5: And so it's slowing down their trip a little bit
because they're having to hunt for all of their foods,
which for day one Hobbes did successfully with success, nothing
but a dagger and his feline.
Speaker 6: Instincts and invisibility.
Speaker 5: And to bring back a pig.
Speaker 6: Which is still invisible by the way.
Speaker 5: A small pop belly pig.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'll drop the invisibility.
Speaker 5: That's clearly domesticated.
Speaker 2: That would have dropped when he killed the pig.
Speaker 7: It's got a collar in a name bag.
Speaker 4: Yeah, hear me out, and he has healing and Urag
has shape shifting. We could have endless food.
Speaker 5: How about noon, crazy Dutch bastard.
Speaker 7: This is not a production zone.
Speaker 2: Oh is that why he doesn't need to eat?
Speaker 6: Because he is food.
Speaker 5: That he don't start it. You're gonna get your own
brand of hot pockets called soilent Green.
Speaker 2: Pull my bag of books and try to look up
whether you can ferment eggs.
Speaker 4: Let's have some ragoons.
Speaker 5: So I've brand of hot pockets, very interested in whether
you can do this or not. But he's also carving
another slice of ham.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get over.
Speaker 5: You, guys. Crash, you call it a night. You wake
up the next morning and you notice, oh, Rag, that
just before dawn, you can see that the scar in
the earth, the shadow scar, has expanded you'd say, probably
probably fifty feet in your direction from where it was,
and it's it's a lot closer, and it's a scary
fall to fall down.
Speaker 2: Wake up everybody.
Speaker 7: Hey, guys, the scar has grown towards us.
Speaker 6: We're gonna move camp.
Speaker 7: Odd that it seemed to come right at us?
Speaker 2: Does it? Does it seem like it came like towards
us specifically or just direct?
Speaker 5: It seems like it expanded and ate up some of
the earth that you were near.
Speaker 7: Okay, it's the nothing?
Speaker 5: What is the nothing?
Speaker 8: It's the emptiness that's left.
Speaker 2: It is like a despair destroy this world.
Speaker 6: Do we have to take on another parallest journey?
Speaker 5: No, you don't have to know. But there is a
combat coming up that you guys will have the jump on.
I think because of who Rag the sharp eyed platypus,
the sharp eyed, plus you know.
Speaker 6: The goal eyed plaids.
Speaker 5: So you have some leftover bacon and ham that you
can cook for breakfast from the little piggle guy. I
cook that up and then you hit the road.
Speaker 6: Just call a piggle guy.
Speaker 9: That I guess, all right, yead, So you guys take
some some pickle jerky with you.
Speaker 5: Strap's left of the room. Head on, head on further
down the road. As you're traveling, you see up ahead
the scar kind of goes inward again like it's fluctuating,
and the earth kind of flips back up from where
it was being sucked down.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 5: And you see when the earth flips back up, about
a half dozen creatures flip up with it. And there
are these distorted carapace looking entities that have giant squares
on their shoulders that look like it's made of carapace,
like I said, And then their arms extend out a
little bit further than that with claws at the end
of it. And you see one of them tucks itself
up into like a little ball and then rolls forward,
chasing after a rabbit that it saw.
Speaker 7: Like Troy dec.
Speaker 2: Destroyer's master m Let's try to skirt them, but they
look aggressive. Are they not much cover?
Speaker 7: So they were rolling off? Are they rolling off toward us?
Speaker 5: Or no? They were rolling off to hunt down a rabbit.
That there's just a living creature that bolted away from
a minute. One of them turned into a rolypolly and
rolled after the rabbit. The other nine just stood there,
didn't stand there. But they're kind of meandering about this
little section of land looking for anything that might be alive.
Speaker 2: Hey, so how far away are they?
Speaker 5: You're probably two hundred yards away, okay, out of crossbow range. Yeah,
out of crossbow range. You could get within crossbow range though,
without any kind of issue.
Speaker 2: Hey, hops, you know those bolts on your crossbow that
ad ears barrowing? You went to her? How many of
those things you think we get knocked back into the
hole she shot him?
Speaker 5: Well, depending on where the bolt landed in the shockwave,
you could probably knock the two or three in the
back right there immediately into the hole. The blast wave
big enough, but you'd probably want to shoot two bolts
set to it, you know, back to back.
Speaker 7: Hey, Eddie, I want to try something, Okay, I'm going
to try to shape shift into a big ballista.
Speaker 2: Are you serious?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 7: That's a twelve.
Speaker 5: So so you've you've shaped shifted into a giant ballista.
Speaker 7: Okay, yep, that will accommodate whatever ammo they want to
put in there.
Speaker 5: All right, Hobbs, like, I know how to fire one
of these.
Speaker 2: We don't have any AMMO for you don't.
Speaker 5: Want to do her bolts just the crossbow bolts like
combine them, right, yeah? Like wrap them?
Speaker 2: Ye? Are there any of a desert? There's not any.
Speaker 7: It's like time to my spear or something.
Speaker 2: Blow your spear up.
Speaker 7: I can make a new one, all right.
Speaker 5: How many of these bolts do you want to use?
Speaker 2: You got nine? Right?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 2: How do you think four would do it?
Speaker 5: What the hell I think would do?
Speaker 2: Well? He knows the weapon a little better, he's had
it longer.
Speaker 6: It does a lot of ammo though, Yeah, but it's
a lot of.
Speaker 7: Guys, he said, what half a dozen?
Speaker 2: Nine?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Nine of them?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Four?
Speaker 6: What am I doing?
Speaker 2: Better?
Speaker 7: Too many than not enough?
Speaker 2: I think we tie four of these to uag spear
and launch it ad and see what happens.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many of them it would have
taken to whip my.
Speaker 2: But I knew how many they were going to use.
Speaker 7: I like it, all right, right, platypus cannon go all right,
so that's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 5: We're gonna tie those things together, and uh, would you
prefer who? Who would you refer to do the volley?
To shoot the volley and they'll get a plus one
from rag Pos technically assisting Hobbs.
Speaker 7: He's familiar with Ballista and he also probably has a
higher decks.
Speaker 5: He's got plus three two decks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hobbs, you can take the shot. Hobbs. You keep
that crossbow already in case any of them are still nearby.
Speaker 7: You can inspire him.
Speaker 5: There's never a bigger batter.
Speaker 7: Fucking ga, what are you doubling his damage? S?
Speaker 2: All right? Make the roll.
Speaker 5: Eight eight all right, one tact coming up, man. I'm
gonna save the you call random attention to yourself for
another time for something that bad that happens, because I
have a feeling this is going to do. Oh yeah,
so that's a seven on the dice, which brings that
up to a ten. With his dexterity, he shoots all
four hidden and an explosion like you have not seen,
ripples through the earth, just chunk someup like a giant crater,
and you see all of these things just get blasted
back into the pit.
Speaker 6: We feel a bit of a shockwave.
Speaker 5: You feel a bit of a shockwave, and we.
Speaker 6: All take four points of damage.
Speaker 7: Temporary blinded by the bright light.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, all right, well that was a quick combat.
Speaker 6: Done.
Speaker 7: Behold, I am become death.
Speaker 4: Dearest, just replaced Loki.
Speaker 5: So do we have to push him though, I'm just
pointing at you Ragon, I'll go back to go catapult something. Wheels,
where was the antler?
Speaker 7: That was your head's up? That was your sights?
Speaker 5: Teach you to make us combat. I know it wasn't
that long ago that any fucking burning hands to group
of men while we're paying attention to That's true.
Speaker 4: Everyone knows that that's how illusionists.
Speaker 3: Do things in the shadow scard react to this exclusion.
Speaker 5: Nope, it didn't really seem to give a fuck.
Speaker 6: Is there a big crater? Now we have to like
skirt around.
Speaker 7: There is a crater, shrapnel, lots of obsidian all of
a sudden.
Speaker 6: Carefully pick our way through that mess?
Speaker 2: A right?
Speaker 5: Do you pick your way through that mess?
Speaker 7: You a bit of a sun tan, but just on one.
Speaker 5: Side, continue on your way throughout the day, you notice birds,
black scavenger birds keep landing on the pig that's on
top of your cart and start eating at it and
ripping at the flush and stuff.
Speaker 2: We're gonna find more food.
Speaker 5: Yep. I'm not gonna make that easy on you.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 5: And then you, guys, this is only day two, so
you're coming up to camp again?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Day three?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 5: Are you sending hobbs back out to hunt again?
Speaker 2: Yeah, seems like the move. I'll tournament visible again.
Speaker 5: Okay, So that is six. So he's gone all night
and he comes back in the morning, just exhausted, his
furs covered in dirt and grubbiness, and he's bringing just
a big like bag. His shirt is like wrapped up
and holding stuff, and inside is just a whole bunch
of grubs. This is all I could find. Guys. I'm
so sorry.
Speaker 2: You did what you could, uh.
Speaker 7: Just casting them make them look like chicken nuggets.
Speaker 5: You're good.
Speaker 2: How about you ride today?
Speaker 5: Okay, that'd be really nice.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to make these look can taste wonderful
because I can cast press the digetation.
Speaker 7: All right, good call.
Speaker 2: So that's a twelve.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, they're delightful.
Speaker 3: All right, so you all we're used to eating bugs.
I mean we had what spider.
Speaker 2: Rubs? I want them to look like beetles, all.
Speaker 6: Right, slimy yet satisfying.
Speaker 7: Oh the little green build ones.
Speaker 5: Alright, you cast pressed the digitation for that, and you
guys have a grubby breakfast. Yeah yeah, and then hobbs
will crash. While you're writing again. Throughout the night, you
saw the scar expand, and then throughout the day as
you travel again through the third day, you see it
retract a little bit, and as it attracts, the land
kind of folds back up like where it was.
Speaker 7: Studying the area that I'm in, do I get any
kind of a read off the land that we're at,
or what's going on with the scar?
Speaker 5: You get? Actually, that's a good point. You get the
opposite of a read. Where there should be life and
there should be some kind of natural force, there's nothing.
It's all just dead and it's like a corpse. The
ground is like a corpse.
Speaker 7: Wow, boom, what happened here? Do you know any of
the history.
Speaker 4: Let's find out it's thirteen all right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: So a long time ago, during one of the earliest
of the magic events. While magic events, there was a
warlock in the Evocation Nation that specialized in teleportation, and
he had built or he was living in a city
that was at the center of this scar, of the
shadow scar. And while the warlock hunt was going on,
a wild magic event occurred and flared up the entire area,
and he created a portal at exactly the wrong time,
and it created a rift between the in between and
the ground, and it keeps fluctuating in and out of existence.
So the land is there and then it won't be there.
But it started off in the town and just the
town got wiped off the map. But since the scar
has continued to grow slightly every day, essentially spreading across
the center of the Evocation Nation.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's.
Speaker 5: Part of the reason why they say not to use
teleportation magic, right.
Speaker 7: Good point, thanks Bill.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, let's stay the funk away from.
Speaker 2: That shadow all right?
Speaker 4: For what I mean, I don't have to you're in
the shadow walk into a.
Speaker 2: Well shadow walk from near it. Wonder if it would
affect the spells coach, but I don't even.
Speaker 7: Have a prepared So it's funny if they maybe we'll
come back and experiment later.
Speaker 4: Yeah that yeah, yep, I'm going to agree, knowing how
long our memory is.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna agree knowing that we don't have to do
this all right, So anything else, you guys do, you
just continue moving along.
Speaker 2: I want to study it real quick too, like ask
to tech magic. Just see if there's anything I can
tell about its growth, if it could be like reversible. Okay,
that's a twelve.
Speaker 5: Okay twelve. You don't know how, but you get the
feeling that you could reverse its growth somehow, some kind
of research or some You get the feeling that this
is magic. But you can see that when the scar retracts,
the land comes back up.
Speaker 2: So you.
Speaker 5: Believe that with the right spell or magic items or
some powerful enough relic you might be able to reverse
the damage done.
Speaker 2: I wonder if this is why they're after all the scrolls.
Speaker 4: Did you just detect magic on the giant magic hole?
Speaker 2: Ye? If it is, if you recall, let's me read
the magic a little.
Speaker 7: Easier if you recall. Flanagan mentioned that the Evocation Nation
had their scroll stolen and they thought it was the
Abjuration Nation, which is why they invaded. That's right, somebody
is snatching up scrolls.
Speaker 4: So hide your kids, ushold because they breaking everybody out
here orphans. I'm not sorry.
Speaker 7: I bet it's the orphans.
Speaker 5: Shall we continue?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Are you? Are you going to cast detect hole next?
Speaker 7: Protect big caping, dark spooky holes?
Speaker 6: Found it?
Speaker 7: I don't see it.
Speaker 5: All right, So I'm moving you guys, You guys aren't
making moving moving along, and you finally get past the
shadow scar. No more altercations with roly Polis, and you
get out to really where the ground is starting to
look more like prairie land again, and you can see
that there are the woods there and standing tall in
the woods. I mean, you're probably still want that one
last day's travel right way, but you can see the
tower off in the distance, poking out of the forest
of trees.
Speaker 7: Forest.
Speaker 6: She is okay, okay, Then we make our way toward it.
Speaker 5: I just want to know if you guys are preparing
anything before you just walk up and I will let
you just be there right now. If you let's not
go there.
Speaker 4: It's a silly place.
Speaker 6: We don't need these socks.
Speaker 7: It's only a model.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got my spells picked out.
Speaker 5: If you all already, and is everybody.
Speaker 7: I want to get the forest.
Speaker 5: Do you want to what?
Speaker 7: I want to get a read on the forest? Okay,
like their general temperament, the trees and the floor of
the fauna.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, the uh it's it's actually kind of reminds
you of uh, you know, really like Michigan forests, to
be honest, or like you know, lower Canadian forests. Yeah,
hardwood and for yeah, not too hot, not too humid.
The wildlife is reasonably kind. You know, you got wolves
and bears and stuff to worry about, but they're not
nothing wild. I mean, I guess they are technically wild,
but nothing nothing mind blowing that's going to kill you.
There's no forest of spiders here plucking people out of
off the ground.
Speaker 7: No giant trapped or spiders that eat horses exactly. Yea,
and cause halfling carriage accidents.
Speaker 5: All right, you're all good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll just pass out the badges to everyone.
Speaker 5: And to wear or have just in case we got.
Speaker 2: Tight up them. There's five of us, so you know
we're one people in the pocket.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 5: All of the badges are numbered and have C on it.
So for example, Eddie, the badge you pull out says
four S and then Bill's yours says one C, and
then oohrag yours says seven C, and then a dera
yours says six CY.
Speaker 2: That's our inspector numbers consultant number.
Speaker 5: So you all badge up and you make your way
through the woods. There is a road that leads right
to Shalla's tower, so you don't really have to go
roughen it, and you make your way down that road
up to this enormous tower. Our heroes will return after
these messages. Hey there, it's Nico again. If you'd like
to skip the ads next time, as well as support
our show, you should check out our Patreon. All levels
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features depending on what tier you go with. Check out
the link at www dot afools quest dot com. And
now that the commercials are out of the way, it's
time to dive back into the foolishness and you make
your way down that road up to this enormous tower.
It is. It's you would guess, about twenty stories tall,
just really big. Obviously it is a tower, so at
the base it's wider, and then it gets more narrow
as it rises into the sky. But I mean you
can see windows all the way up the side of
the building in different spots. You can also see like
some archer kill slots and stuff, so it is well
defended and what. But then you see something weird on
the front of the building. Right there is a couple
of glass doors, so you can kind of like see
right into it right in like the main for your area.
But there's a large room s etched into the glass doors.
From the outside, there's nobody's standing guard.
Speaker 2: I will go up and push that door, open, door,
poll whichever.
Speaker 5: Okay, As you approach, you do know there's a spot
to place your card.
Speaker 2: Oh, then I shall place my place my card there?
Speaker 5: All right, you place your card there, It activates the room,
and the two glass doors split open and allow you entry,
and it closes behind you. Each person will have to
do the same. Oh, I guess Hobbs should have a
card too. His is nine seed, one for each life.
Speaker 7: Okay, well, Eddi's in, so I want.
Speaker 2: To go in.
Speaker 5: Yep, all right, Hobbs will follow you in rag all
right up the rear you all walk in and it
is a very sterile environment. Smells of vinegar and lavender,
and you can smell like no grossness, no forest life,
no swampy area. Is just very very sterile.
Speaker 4: Yep, can I smell anything but that.
Speaker 5: You see a woman who is sitting at the counter
and she is filling out a little Siduco Seduco. Yeah, game,
just in there, filling in the numbers. As you approach,
she's kind of ignoring you. Yes, she rolls her eyes
but looks up at you.
Speaker 2: We're here on behalf of the bobs.
Speaker 5: The bobs are on. She moves her little Siduco book
to the side. Floor seven today. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Is this your entire job? Yes? Hm, you're so.
Speaker 6: Good at it.
Speaker 5: My job is here to make sure that nobody tries
to break in through the enchanted doors. She lazily points
her hand toward the two giant glass doors that you
went through, which nobody can do because they're enchanted and
you have to have a special key card to get through.
If somebody does somehow break through, I am supposed to
use this scroll right here to message someone.
Speaker 2: We're downsizing you. Your job is pointless. You're fired immediately.
Speaker 5: Who's gonna watch the door?
Speaker 2: As you pointed out there's not a necessity for someone
to watch the door because you need the key cards,
pack your things and go home.
Speaker 5: Oh okay. She grabs her saduco book and grabs like
a handful of pens out of a drawer and puts
them in her pocket. I'm taking these. And then she
puts her badge down on the desk in front of you, and.
Speaker 2: That's going in your file.
Speaker 5: And she goes the lead.
Speaker 2: I take the message scroll.
Speaker 7: Have a nice day.
Speaker 4: What exactly is it you would say you do here?
Speaker 5: Just wait till you get to the seventh floor.
Speaker 2: Alright, I'm gonna runner through her desk a little bit.
Is there any like important, like appointment books or anything?
Speaker 5: No, there's no, she doesn't really literally, it was just
to make sure that nobody broke in.
Speaker 2: All right. Then, I'm just gonna grab that scroll and
pocket it. Is it just the message spell? Or is
it message a specific person?
Speaker 5: A message is a specific person. I should have asked too,
you actually you know the alarm spell. It looks more
like the alarm spell. It's like a flavored message, Like
she triggers this message and it alarms whomever.
Speaker 7: Okay, well, grab her badge also.
Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah, she left on the counter for you, all right,
her just doesn't have a letter on it. Hers just
has her name, yeah, which was Tina Moore.
Speaker 2: Tina Moore's Let's let's find some stairs, all right, P
I N A.
Speaker 5: M oo r e. And yeah, you find the stairs
and you can start making your way up. You do
have to use the scan badge again to access the stairwell,
but it works on the door that gave you entry.
So dispels the enchantment for a second, and then you
can all go in.
Speaker 7: Sope, we go.
Speaker 5: Now what floor do you want to go to? Your
floor one?
Speaker 4: Do we have a guess how many floors there are?
Speaker 5: About twenty?
Speaker 2: She said, floor seven where the bombs are, But we
need magnets.
Speaker 7: We're not really here for the bombs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, man, this is probably on four
twenty outside for the penhouse. Then yeah, are there signs
at the floors? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Directory directory, Yeah, he's in the lobby and we missed it.
Speaker 5: No, there's no directory, that's why the floor. But but
the floors are labeled so you can see when you
get to each floor, right.
Speaker 2: Does it say what's on the floors? Are just floor two?
Floor three.
Speaker 5: Uh it says some of them say, like, so floor
to is maintenance. You know, floor three is magical technical facility.
Floor four through six is unnamed.
Speaker 2: Maybe we should stop on floor three. That sounds interesting. Okay,
we're gift un mission.
Speaker 5: It's thirteen all right, Floor seven says administrative.
Speaker 2: You know what could be useful and chat with the bobs,
although they didn't actually send for us, so that might
not be the best idea.
Speaker 6: Do we know this bob one of the bob in charge?
Speaker 5: Nope, you don't know either of the bobs.
Speaker 4: So there's two of.
Speaker 7: The familiar with the company.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Bob, the builders.
Speaker 7: The builder bombs.
Speaker 2: But administrative could have the information we need is to
wear Yeah, let's go do it. Yeah. Okay, see if
you can get anything out of.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go beat the door.
Speaker 5: All right, So you beet the door and you can
gain access to the seventh floor. Yep.
Speaker 4: Walk in confidently and look around. Is there anybody in here?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Yeah? So you see a handful of people. They're all
sitting at desks and they have name plates that are
out there. You do see one guy walking around with
a button up vest that's butted up. All the way,
and he's got a tie on and he's holding a
coffee mug. As he's walking around, he keeps leaning over
people's like walls, little walls and saying snarky things to him.
And yeah, that guy, you hear him going. You hear
somebody you know, whisper to somebody else like, oh fuck,
here comes.
Speaker 6: Lumberg and for the seventh time today.
Speaker 5: Yep, yep, and so but yeah, you see a handful
of people, you do see There are two men in
a closed off room interviewing another man. The other guy
is sitting there. He's got giant bifocals on the one
that they're interviewing, and he looks very uncomfortable, just very uncomfortable,
and his eyes look like they're looking through fish bowls.
They're just so exaggerated through the glasses.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna look around for the empty desk.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, you find his. It's actually smack dab right
in the middle of the room, and it's been uh,
the the cubicle walls have been pushed together so tightly
that he has almost zero space to sit in his
little cubicle.
Speaker 7: And then he's not the assertive type.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna go take a stapler.
Speaker 5: You definitely do, and it's red and it is very red.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna grab that, m hm and push down
a wall and then go find uh lumber lumber lumber. Yeah,
you can see him walking around, Yeah, gonna walkup to
him with a stapler.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So.
Speaker 4: I'm just, uh, is it is it common around here?
We we spend money on doing things like I don't know,
paying for bright red staplers that's deaf only and up charge.
Speaker 5: Right, funny story about that. That stapler is not one
that we purchased. That's actually one that Milton brought from home.
We encourage our employees to bring in two to three
things from home to make them feel more comfortable while
they work.
Speaker 4: Right, so when we downsize, this is definitely company property though, correct.
Speaker 5: I don't see why not?
Speaker 4: All right? Okay, right, all right, So I'm gonna take
this now. Listen, who around here whose job is it
to keep track of the different floors and what's going
on there?
Speaker 5: In administrative I would probably say that's either going to
be Peter or.
Speaker 4: Sameir Okay, and could you tell me where their desks are?
Speaker 5: That one over there is Peter and then yeah, that
one over there.
Speaker 6: Is some mere Okay, they can tell which way you're pointing.
Speaker 2: Do you have a.
Speaker 4: I know the Bobs are using that office right now,
but they kind of wanted us to get a head
start on a couple of things. Do you have another
office we could use for some additional interviews?
Speaker 5: Yeah, the the eighth floor is open right now. They're
currently under repair.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, Well I am gonna go boy borrow
Peter and smir but they're obviously not working, so make
sure they clack out for their launches while we take them.
Speaker 5: Hm hmm, great. Thanks.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna I'm gonna grab a clipboard on the way out.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go grab are first.
Speaker 2: We'd put that clipboard down before you fall in love with.
Speaker 7: It, bitch like God.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna go to first.
Speaker 7: Just need to change machinery.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 5: So you show up to some ears desk? What's up?
What can I help you with?
Speaker 4: You can come along with me. We need to ask
you a couple of questions.
Speaker 5: Oh, no, are you with the Bobs?
Speaker 4: Am I with them currently?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 5: But you're like one of them?
Speaker 4: No, I'm not Bob, I'm Bill.
Speaker 5: Look my job is very important here.
Speaker 4: Listen, you'll have plenty of time to explain all of that,
but we do need to save a little bit of time.
So we're gonna go home and grab Peter.
Speaker 5: Peter, okay, and so are you Bill too, And he
points at adra. Yeah that's little Bill, Billy. Actually you
got a platypus and a platy bill.
Speaker 7: Platy Bill.
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, yeah, I'll follow you. Let me just
finish up my work here, and he closes a coloring.
Speaker 4: Books cram, Why don't you go grab Peter and uh,
you two can take us up to the eighth floor.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, I'll be her back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, and.
Speaker 5: He steps over and you hear him go over to
Peter and he's like.
Speaker 10: Peter, there's some guys over there, and there's like, we
gotta talk to him. I was like, shut up, bitches,
my job's poor. And they were like, no, we need
to talk to you on the eighth poblem like we
need to talk to you on the floor. So I'm
over here a getting you, man, so we can go
upstairs and talk to him. Peter's like, uh, yeah, okay,
whatever man, sure.
Speaker 6: Sure, all right, Now you got Peter and some mir
all right on the eighth floor.
Speaker 5: Yep. So they follow you up to the eighth floor,
You scan your badges, go in. There's a conference room,
just like there was one on the seventh floor, but
you can there's no one in it, like the Bobs were.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 4: We go, yeah, so we're gonna go ahead and go
in and have a seat, and I'm interview time.
Speaker 5: So Peter kicks his feet up on the table and
leans back in this chair and he's like, so, Bill,
little Bill, what can I do for you?
Speaker 4: Billy, Billy, hm, Wow.
Speaker 5: I have no idea.
Speaker 6: Actually, this is his show.
Speaker 5: Listen.
Speaker 4: So we we did a little digging before we talk
to you guys, because I really don't want to ask
you what you do here, because you're just gonna tell
me that you do a bunch of stuff that you
probably don't do.
Speaker 5: You know, Bill, That's you're right on. I would totally
lie to you on most days. But honestly, I just
they don't give a fuck, Bill, I don't know. That's
that's what I like to hear, really, really great. Really
I love to hear that. Actually.
Speaker 4: So here's the thing. I just need to know what
I'm told that you're the one that can let me
know what every floor in this building is and what
they do.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, man administrative.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's let's start at the top and work our
way down.
Speaker 7: Huh said the clipboard, Hills.
Speaker 2: Is there a chalkboard?
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a chalkboard.
Speaker 2: How do you go to the chalkboard?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: So up the top, you know you've got you've got
the highest intelligence in uh, in all of the vocation nation.
Speaker 2: Right, that's that's that's the name of the office up there,
highest intelligence and all of the vocation nation.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm yep. No. Now the person that's up there,
their name is uh Roger.
Speaker 2: Roger.
Speaker 7: Here's a shrubber.
Speaker 2: I don't want to jump the conclusions. But is that
the most important position in the tower, would you say?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean they like to think so, right. All
the directives come from up there, and homeboy, does ship
really roll downhill when you're in the tower, if you
know what I mean? But uh, yeah, no, I mean
they put out the directives. Yeah, I mean they care
about you know, shareholder value and really you know, making
the organization is efficient as it can be, you know,
really that bottom line. So from there after that you've
got the executive floors, which is nineteen and eighteen. It's
mostly just the sea level suits. Every once in a
while they come down, you know, you get word from Roger,
it goes down through another two bosses before it even
gets down to the tenth floor, and then you get
another three bosses. You know, Bill, I've got six bosses
at the end of the day giving me the same
damn order, and it's just ridiculous.
Speaker 4: It does seem like too many bosses. It seems like, honestly,
there's definitely some redundancy to be cleared up there. So
I guess my question would be if we were to
clear out some of those people that are between you
and the person in the Roger floor, right, So, like,
who would you say if we were just saying put
one part because obviously you can't go to the Roger floor, right?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, no, I mean I can't. I think the
bobs have access though, right?
Speaker 4: Is there anybody so you think the bobs are the
only ones that have access to the Roger floor right now?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean outside of the executives and Roger.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So really, if we were to try and we
were trying maybe streamline the process of the number of buses,
you have a little bit we would need to leave
the executive so there's somebody who could get to the
Roger sweep. But everything in between there really.
Speaker 5: Oh, I mean, floors twelve through fourteen, that's all marketing
and development, man, I mean really, it's just a propaganda machine.
They're kicking stuff out to the evocation nation citizens, talking
about how it's just NonStop, it's non stop. They're taking
advantage of the little man.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, and on top of that, we really don't even
need it because what we do here at sells itself.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah. And then obviously you guys know floor's
you know, six through six through four those are all
of the desks for our spies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the desks for the spot. Well why do many
desks though? That seems like it's a lot of space
for people who are like they should be out field, right, I.
Speaker 5: Mean most of the time they are out in the field,
but you got to have you know, your your you know,
core stuff that you come back to after spying. So
you know, most of the Secret Service, you know, officials prefer
to have their own space here at the at the tower.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well so hear me out. I'm thinking maybe obviously the
important spies they need to have their own desk, But
maybe some of the lesser spies. Maybe maybe your desk
is something you work up to, right Maybe yeah, maybe
maybe when you're new or you you wrote you share
a desk now teaches teamwork. Who would you say if
you had to list, like the ten spies right now
that you would say guaranteed need their own desk. Who
would that be the ten spies that need their own desk? Yeah,
like the most important ten spies?
Speaker 5: Well, Bill, I you know, I don't really know off
the top of my head. I'd have to look at
the reports. That's not really my job here, Bill, unfortunately,
my Bill or my Bill, My job is to take
the feedback that we get from the field once they
bring it in, and then I run it through an
extrapolator to get the data out from some of the
more you know, techy pieces of this, and then we
have to upload that information into the correct files and folders,
which we send up to the control room, which is
on the seventeenth floor.
Speaker 4: Right, and so the seventeenth floor is where the and
so that's where all the data goes up about obviously,
like like the looking glasses and things like that. I
would have to go up there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, so R and D handles
a lot of the design for the looking glasses. They're
on the fifteenth floor. But but yeah, no, I mean
the control room on the seventeenth.
Speaker 2: That's what's on sixteenth.
Speaker 5: So I don't you know, I don't really know. We
don't really go to the sixteenth floor.
Speaker 2: I mean your administrative you should, you should know what's
on what happens there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean my access shuts off after the fifteenth floor.
Speaker 2: Oh what about s mirror? What do you know?
Speaker 5: No, man, mine doesn't go past the tenth yep, hmmm.
Speaker 4: Before yeah. Oh for some reason, for some reason, I
thought we were on the twelfth.
Speaker 5: I'll come in a minute up here.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right, we were from the seventh. V all right,
all right for some privacy you have anything else that.
Speaker 2: We no, But we need to get that message.
Speaker 6: Where is the laundry room?
Speaker 2: So why don't you when you guys go down and
grab Lumberg the other one pop in on the bobs,
tell them we need their car to take a message
up to the executives in exactly those words, we need
your car to take a message up to the executives.
We'll bring it right back, all.
Speaker 5: Right, So you don't care which one does it.
Speaker 2: Actually, Sir, you grab Lumberg. Peter.
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, So Samir goes and gets Lumberg. That's
just fine because Lumberg is nervous about losing his up,
so he'll come up. He beats you up, or beats
him up. Peter goes in and him up and knocks
on the door, interrupts the bobs and he's like, hey,
the bills are here. They're gonna need the key card
to be able to escort Lumberg up to the twentieth.
And they said, they'll grab your card and they'll be
right back with it. And let's see if his charisma
does it. That is a ten on the dice.
Speaker 2: Fucking Peter.
Speaker 5: So he's just sitting there. He like loosens his tie
and he's laying against the door, and the Bobs are like, yeah,
you know, Milton has been great talking with you. Go ahead,
and you know, move down to the basement. Like we talked,
there will be some space for you down there. We've
already got it set aside, you know, just settle right in,
make the space your own. We'll send some reports down
to you and okay, and so Milton, hey, I thank you,
thank you very He goes out and uh, Peter's like, yeah,
so sorry to interrupt, you know, but can I just
get that real quick and I'll take that up. And
Bob's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Peter.
Speaker 9: Here.
Speaker 5: You know what, I don't know why they don't have
access for you up to the executive floors already. You
should be killing it, just killing it. I know That's
what I told him. Anyway, Bob, Bob, thanks, I'll be back,
and so he gathers a pick card, walks away. Milton goes,
somebody stick, somebody stole my stapler.
Speaker 6: Use my own money for that. Brought that from.
Speaker 5: Home, and Peter just saunters back up to the eighth
floor and holding the key card.
Speaker 4: It gets back someone take a key card from and
be like, hey, Peter, you know that was really great work,
and you know we we've decided that you need something
to I just your death felt little playing for a
personality like yours, So we got you the stapler.
Speaker 5: Thanks. The company really went all out this year, didn't they.
Speaker 4: Oh, listen, you know, you know they're making cuts, man,
spending money at.
Speaker 5: All stolen staplers are where it's at anyway, Thanks Bill,
right side, Bill, Bill, the rest of you.
Speaker 2: Billy, my name is Eddie.
Speaker 5: Sure it is. I'm going downstairs. Okay, So he goes upstairs. Yeah,
Lumberg is like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Peter home because they see him without his card.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lumberg watching, you give Peter the rest of.
Speaker 6: The day off, you know what, matter of fact, the
rest of the month.
Speaker 2: Yeah, paid.
Speaker 6: Well, it's already the thirty first, so.
Speaker 5: No harm, all right, in the day's half over already.
Speaker 2: That guy, just that guy just did half our job
for us. He deserves it, all right.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I've been working with Peter a lot and developing
him into a leadership role, so I'm not surprised at
all that he was able to satisfy your needs so quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go ahead and put him on a on
a one month paid vacation. Yeah, and then bobs are
busy today, but fill them in on that tomorrow. Okay.
I bet you went ahead and ordered him. Then, you
know what, I think you should take credit for that, man,
because you don't get enough credit around here.
Speaker 5: Oh I couldn not. I mean I think so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well we're just consultants. We don't even work here.
Speaker 5: Here, do you really think so?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: It seems like all right, yeah, I mean you trained Peter, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is that is your your good work man.
Speaker 5: Oh well, thank you. I do feel myself as a value. Well,
I'm leaving, so he takes off back down to the
catching up with Hey Peter. Yeah, and you are on
the eighth floor and you now have a key card
that takes you all the way to the twentieth. All right,
do you know the control rooms on the seventeenth. The
executive offices are nineteenth and eighteenth.
Speaker 4: The spies are on the fifth and sixth, fourth.
Speaker 2: Or six Yeah, fifteenth is R and D and sixteenth
is a mystery. Hell love one last thing? Yeah, what's
on the sixteenth floor?
Speaker 5: Mm hmm, weapons development?
Speaker 2: Appreciate it. Go on, do that stuff we talked about.
Speaker 6: I need to make a pit step.
Speaker 2: Weapons development. Yeah, I want to check out R and
D two. So Kevin, there's this marketing between here and
there pretty much next stop R and D.
Speaker 5: All right, so you guys make your way up to
the fifteenth floor. Yeah, and uh yeah, you scan the badge.
It's a different room on this door than what you
saw on the first floor to gain entry to the
building as well as the stairwell. But you get this room,
you put your key card into the spot, the floor
opens up and you walk into research and development and
here's probably a good place to call it m.
Speaker 8: This concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join
us next time for more fun and during adventure. Thank
you for listening, and don't forget to like, subscribe, review,
and comment
Speaker 5: On your favorite platform to listen to fools Quest.