Speaker 1: God, do you like my hat?
Speaker 2: Sorry? Hello, Walk of the Laura Cane after Dark. I
Speaker 2: was just reading my co host Eric Rivers hat. Should
Speaker 2: I say it out loud? Or should I just let people? No? Okay,
Speaker 2: I don't want to say the word you say it.
Speaker 2: This is what his hat says.
Speaker 1: I begged you some shut the fuck upcakes?
Speaker 2: Is this all like stuff from our favorite website? Where'd
Speaker 2: you get that hat?
Speaker 1: Online?
Speaker 3: Where? Online?
Speaker 2: I love it? That's Brian producer, Brian High.
Speaker 1: What up?
Speaker 2: Okay? I have the biggest dose of random news, and
Speaker 2: I have some good things in here, like I have
Speaker 2: some life hacks that you've never heard that you're gonna love.
Speaker 2: And the state with the highest likelihood of an alien
Speaker 2: abduction and there was research and it's from a governmental
Speaker 2: society or not society but an entity, and it's going
Speaker 2: to freak you out?
Speaker 1: Is it? I'm scared already?
Speaker 2: Oh you guys. I can't wait to do our UFO show.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm just I'm working on it. I want to
Speaker 2: get somebody in here.
Speaker 3: Working on what was there to work on?
Speaker 2: Finding a guest?
Speaker 3: Who is it's so credible, credible, There is no credible
Speaker 3: source for UFOs, absolutely there is what evidence they have
Speaker 3: to be credible.
Speaker 2: With former military who have actually witnessed them in their sites,
Speaker 2: have seen them multiple times with.
Speaker 3: No evidence the back of the Oh have you seen
Speaker 3: the videos? Yeah, the videos don't prove anything. Otherwise there
Speaker 3: wouldn't be a question is whether it's see.
Speaker 2: This is what I'm going to try to avoid. I'm
Speaker 2: going to what I want to do is get somebody
Speaker 2: in here that is so knowledgeable and and you guys
Speaker 2: are going to be believers.
Speaker 3: Are I know what all the stuff that I've heard
Speaker 3: all of it because I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2: Did you hear the latest sighting?
Speaker 3: I've heard a lot of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was in Iran?
Speaker 3: Iran? Yeah, I don't know specifically.
Speaker 2: But have you heard about the jellyfish looking ufo?
Speaker 3: Yeah? That was fake? Well that wasn't the UFO.
Speaker 2: Well it appeared again in Iran.
Speaker 3: You know what they are, They're milar balloons.
Speaker 2: This did not look This looked like a jellyfish.
Speaker 3: The problem is is that they're all so low quality.
Speaker 3: In a world of four K cameras where everybody has
Speaker 3: a four K camera, but no one can upload anything
Speaker 3: more than four forty P.
Speaker 2: Because by the time you realize what you're seeing, get
Speaker 2: out your phone. It zips away because they're so.
Speaker 3: Freaking Okay, if what I don't understand this is phenomenal.
Speaker 3: Let's say an alien a peers right in front of
Speaker 3: you Boom Teleportation, and you're like, I gotta get this
Speaker 3: on video, and you whip out your phone and you
Speaker 3: press play or you plus record. At a minimum, you
Speaker 3: should be getting some nice HD footage. But we don't
Speaker 3: see nice HD footage. We see VCR quality VHS quality footage.
Speaker 1: Because I have to agree with producer brains, see.
Speaker 2: This is what if I just watch a lot, I
Speaker 2: totally believe.
Speaker 3: I know you have drink in the kool aid, but.
Speaker 2: I believe Bob Lazar's story that he worked there and
Speaker 2: he was inside a craft that we have nine crafts
Speaker 2: that we've had since the early.
Speaker 1: Do you hear that creaking sound? That's Brian's eyes rolling
Speaker 1: into the back of his head.
Speaker 3: And my knees from having to sustain and withhold all this.
Speaker 2: Okay, Look, I love story out there. It's not even him.
Speaker 2: There's like there's other military like one no, oh god, no,
Speaker 2: there's been a whole bunch and have you heard of
Speaker 2: that dude named doctor Greer.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've heard of Greer, whoa his story once again,
Speaker 3: nothing incredible to back.
Speaker 2: Any that he spouts out some serious knowledge. You guys,
Speaker 2: what fine, you can drink the cool.
Speaker 1: My back is starting to hurt. Do you know why?
Speaker 1: Because I'm having to carry this podcast?
Speaker 2: Oh god?
Speaker 1: Anyway, anyway, Oh, and I have to tell you about
Speaker 1: my physical.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Well before they said he needs to stop hanging out
Speaker 3: with Laura so much bad for his health.
Speaker 2: Am I bad for your health?
Speaker 1: No, you're good for me, baby.
Speaker 2: He came to see me at work on Friday to
Speaker 2: bring me a present.
Speaker 3: Oh, he had to. He had to become bring your thing
Speaker 3: because he wouldn't stop talking about it. You were literally
Speaker 3: like last week or like, I'm going to drive your
Speaker 3: house right now. I'm going to drive your house right now.
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, I might bring it to you later.
Speaker 2: I wasn't forcing him to. He did because he loves me.
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we're gonna do make Laura laugh. See if
Speaker 2: we can make me laugh. Generally, after you tell your
Speaker 2: story about your physical, your doctor's wanted wait what my physical? Okay?
Speaker 2: When was this?
Speaker 1: It was on Friday.
Speaker 2: Okay, now you did blood work? You did okay, how
Speaker 2: was your blood pressure?
Speaker 1: Everything was fine?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: The only thing that was a little weird is you
Speaker 1: know he was giving me my physical and you know
Speaker 1: it was the cough and all that stuff and.
Speaker 2: The finger up the butt thing. Yeah, all the prostrate.
Speaker 1: Thing, great stuff. And he turns and looks at me
Speaker 1: and he says, you know, Eric, you have got to
Speaker 1: stop masturbating. And I'm all why and he goes, because
Speaker 1: I'm trying to examine you.
Speaker 3: That's why.
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: Why? Why?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why? Why?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 1: Why pick off today's.
Speaker 2: You're Lovely?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, furiousness. See I'm already I'm already one.
Speaker 2: Why does this never? This always works? He always gets me.
Speaker 2: I believe that you were going to tell me an
Speaker 2: honest story about yourself.
Speaker 3: I don't condone that joke.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it is make Laura laugh.
Speaker 2: The segment today, so well, okay, it doesn't count, No.
Speaker 1: Yes, it does start.
Speaker 3: Start.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is the episode for Thursday.
Speaker 2: So check it's music that makes it start.
Speaker 3: It counts.
Speaker 2: There's some music and I'm here's the official start.
Speaker 1: Oh we're doing this right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll start the tally right.
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, no, we are already one in.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well we can argue with it. Ad one
Speaker 3: later start.
Speaker 1: That was a good one. Laura, an assistant to Donald Trump,
Speaker 1: told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There
Speaker 1: was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions
Speaker 1: line the parade route, cheering. When the president went past,
Speaker 1: bands were playing chill and We're throwing confetti into the air.
Speaker 1: There were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the biggest celebration
Speaker 1: Washington had ever seen. Trump was very impressed and said,
Speaker 1: that's really great. By the way, how did I look
Speaker 1: in your dream? Was my hair? Okay? His assistant said,
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell the casket was closed.
Speaker 2: I didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1: See there we go.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, one, it is unexpected.
Speaker 2: It's kind of a weak punch line, and we I
Speaker 2: don't I like to not do you apologize?
Speaker 1: I know, but that was funny.
Speaker 2: I know, I know.
Speaker 3: Unimpressed so far, all.
Speaker 1: Right, but I still got it because she laughed. So
Speaker 1: there we go.
Speaker 2: Now, I'm actually I have a pleasant look on my face, right,
Speaker 2: I don't have my resting bitch face.
Speaker 1: Your mouth is not a line. No, you're not a
Speaker 1: Karen yet here. Okay, I'm looking.
Speaker 2: I'm listening with open ears and a mind.
Speaker 1: Look at you. Yes. Okay. So these three secretaries all
Speaker 1: left the office for lunch together. As they got into
Speaker 1: the elevator, they noticed a small pool of whitish fluid
Speaker 1: on the floor. The brunette said, ew, is that sperm?
Speaker 1: The redhead leaned a little closer and said, Yep, definitely sperm.
Speaker 1: The blonde leaned down and scooped up a fingerfol After
Speaker 1: tasting it, she said, well, it's certainly not anybody in
Speaker 1: our office.
Speaker 2: Dude, that is so sick like I'm laughing out of embarrassment.
Speaker 3: That's just kind of gross.
Speaker 1: Too.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, okay, this is Brian laugh. Oh God.
Speaker 1: The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been riding all day
Speaker 1: on a buffalo hunt. When they stopped to rest, Tonto
Speaker 1: places his ear to the ground and listens. Buffalo come.
Speaker 1: Tonto says, how do you know that assalone? Ranger? You're sticky?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: First of all, okay, I guess there's one.
Speaker 2: Inappropriate racist, maybe two a little bit.
Speaker 1: Okay. A vampire walks into a bar and asks the
Speaker 1: bartender for a boiling glass of water. The bartender says,
Speaker 1: I thought you vampires only drank blood. The vampire pulls
Speaker 1: out a tampon and says, I'm having tea.
Speaker 3: Ew oh man, that's gross.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, any joke with a tampon in it is
Speaker 2: not a good one. Please.
Speaker 1: Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when
Speaker 1: a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them.
Speaker 1: One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other one
Speaker 1: couldn't quite reach.
Speaker 2: Couldn't quite reach. It is kind of there's a funny visual.
Speaker 2: The visual was funny, but I don't get it. Oh, well,
Speaker 2: she can reach his dick.
Speaker 1: I'm three out of five, so moving on.
Speaker 2: She couldn't reach his penis flora. I mean, that's not
Speaker 2: really that funny, but I like the visual was funny
Speaker 2: in my head. I laughed for a.
Speaker 1: Nice excuse, okay. A third grade teacher asked the students
Speaker 1: to use the word fascinate in the sentence. Mollie said,
Speaker 1: my family went to New York City Zoo and we
Speaker 1: saw all the animals. It was fascinating. The teacher said
Speaker 1: that was good, but I wanted you to use the
Speaker 1: word fascinate. Sally raised her hand and she said, my
Speaker 1: family went to the Statue of Liberty and I was fascinated.
Speaker 1: The teacher said, well, that was good, Sally, but I
Speaker 1: want you to use the word fascinate. Johnny raised his hand.
Speaker 1: The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language.
Speaker 1: She finally decided there was no way he could damage
Speaker 1: the word fascinate, so she called on him. Johnny said,
Speaker 1: my sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
Speaker 1: boobs are so big she can only fascinate. H I
Speaker 1: was all right, yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2: Okay, that one, that one I'm gonna let pass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you?
Speaker 2: I was a little it was a little clever. Yeah, okay, good, okay.
Speaker 2: Even got Brian on that one too.
Speaker 3: It was clever.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've heard the little Johnny jokes before, though.
Speaker 2: But that I didn't see that. I did not see that.
Speaker 3: I was sure. How yeah, how they would use fascinate,
Speaker 3: So that works.
Speaker 1: What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
Speaker 2: Oh? God, uh, put on a rain coat, swim for
Speaker 2: your life, exactly? You can one. Oh, I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: kind of getting the vibe of wore these jokes are going.
Speaker 3: It's a it's a theme, same joke, eight different ways.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. What what's the difference between a vitamin
Speaker 1: and a hormone?
Speaker 2: Okay, you take a vitamin, but the hormones when you
Speaker 2: have it's something about sex.
Speaker 1: I can't make a vitamin.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's good. I like that one. Yeah, when I
Speaker 3: never got that one, that's good. You know that reminds
Speaker 3: me of did you guys ever see the old Celebrity
Speaker 3: Jeopardy the SNL Yes? And who's the guy that played
Speaker 3: Seank Sean Connerys misread the category talk the Rapist? Yes? No,
Speaker 3: that therapy my favorite one. It was let It Snow?
Speaker 3: And he's like, I would like to do litits now
Speaker 3: for eight hundred. That was that let It Slow? Is like, no,
Speaker 3: t Beck, that's what you say in France. Hello, memoiselle,
Speaker 3: I would like to see lit its now.
Speaker 2: Who played him? Was it was? It was? It was?
Speaker 3: It was? I forget his name.
Speaker 2: He was kind of like a bald one. Was it
Speaker 2: or was it regular character?
Speaker 3: I know it was right. He wasn't a huge performer
Speaker 3: and he doesn't really done a ton else. All the
Speaker 3: Sean Conrie bets were incredible that and Norm McDonald playing
Speaker 3: Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2: It's working so far. It must be in a good mood. Well, no,
Speaker 2: they must actually be funny. Finally, what do you mean,
Speaker 2: because most jokes are just why why bother even telling them? These?
Speaker 1: Are you?
Speaker 2: I've been surprisingly amused.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, let's see.
Speaker 2: You have a bunch over there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll look at some of these.
Speaker 2: I know he's got like a whole. He's brought a whole.
Speaker 3: I've got one. This one's a little edgy.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: A flight is leaving Los Angeles and the pilot gets
Speaker 3: on it. Come and says, ladies and gentlemen, we got
Speaker 3: beautiful fly of Los Angeles will be arriving in San
Speaker 3: Francisco and roughly thirty minutes. But he forgets to turn
Speaker 3: the intercom off. Shortly after, he says, man, I could
Speaker 3: really use a cup of coffee and a hand job,
Speaker 3: and the fly attendant goes, oh, no, I gotta, I gotta,
Speaker 3: I gotta tell him that his intercom's still on, So
Speaker 3: she sprints up the aisle. She's trying to get to
Speaker 3: the cockpit so she can tell the pilot that hey,
Speaker 3: stop talking like your intercom's still on, And as she's
Speaker 3: running through the aisle, some guy yells, don't forget the coffee.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, ready a man. A man goes to his
Speaker 1: doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, I also
Speaker 1: suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one,
Speaker 1: I give my wife oral sex. When she has an orgasm.
Speaker 1: She tightens her legs around my head, which gets rid
Speaker 1: of the pain. You should try it. Sometime two weeks
Speaker 1: later at the man returns for a visit and the
Speaker 1: patient tells his doctor, Hey, your suggestion work, and I'd
Speaker 1: like to tell you that you have a very nice house. Sorry, okay,
Speaker 1: what do you call an Italian hooker? Oh? Ho apastitute?
Speaker 3: Prostitute?
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a dad joke. That well, no, not really,
Speaker 2: that is that a dad joke.
Speaker 3: That's just a dad joke for older kids. Okay, that's
Speaker 3: when dad kids are teenagers.
Speaker 1: What what do you call a singer with a laptop
Speaker 1: on her head? I don't know, Adele.
Speaker 2: See now these are jokes I'm talking about that or
Speaker 2: these are dad That's not even a dad joke.
Speaker 3: That's not that's just not funny. That is a dad joke.
Speaker 1: A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen
Speaker 1: to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer.
Speaker 1: Oh damn it, he proclaimed, some asshole has my pen?
Speaker 3: All right, too bad?
Speaker 2: Nice delivery.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 2: Okay, I know he.
Speaker 3: Like rushes through the joke. I know.
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, give us give us some leg You know
Speaker 2: you were the top comedian when mal Hall was in here,
Speaker 2: so give us some like comedic timing over here.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, you have to look at me for this.
Speaker 2: Oh god, oh god, are you gonna touch me?
Speaker 1: Knock knock?
Speaker 2: Who's there?
Speaker 1: Boo booby?
Speaker 3: Oh that's the joke.
Speaker 1: Never mind, I forgot that's I was getting my jokes
Speaker 1: mixed up.
Speaker 2: It still made her loud like literally just grabbed. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, no reason whatsoever for a joke, for a
Speaker 2: different punch joke.
Speaker 1: What was It's not for any reason?
Speaker 3: Sexual harassment?
Speaker 1: Call hry hold on. Hello, Yes, hr I accidentally just
Speaker 1: pressed it brushed up against my coworker.
Speaker 2: You crab.
Speaker 3: I actually bust I haven't. I take issue with the
Speaker 3: fact that he supposedly won our stand up contest.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, but he you know.
Speaker 3: What, We'll say, we at least structured ours, like stand up.
Speaker 3: He just got U there and told a fart story.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, shows that talent.
Speaker 3: I guess it was also not even the good fart story,
Speaker 3: but damn it was just funny.
Speaker 2: It worked, the delivery was good.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: Hey, he's on tour with Angela Johnson right now, all
Speaker 2: over the place, so he's exactly So yeah, okay, played
Speaker 2: the random news music. I have some rando news for you,
Speaker 2: including we just talked about this last episode. The season
Speaker 2: finale of Severnce was Friday. Hell yeah, if you could
Speaker 2: get a brain implant that made you forget your entire
Speaker 2: work day, would you do it?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: That's the premise.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole point of the show is that they're miserable, right.
Speaker 2: But knowing what you know, would you do it to?
Speaker 2: I wouldn't either know. That is just oh my god,
Speaker 2: please stick with it, Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Actually, you know what, maybe if you had a cool job,
Speaker 3: maybe that would.
Speaker 2: Be all and you wouldn't remember it when you were
Speaker 2: home in your regular life. You're a your audi.
Speaker 1: If I had a job cleaning porta potties, I would
Speaker 1: totally do it because I would never want to remember.
Speaker 2: There's so many problems that arise. You'll see. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so yesterday or not yesterday? Last week wasn't Actually there
Speaker 2: was a day every Today's Taco National Taco Day, National
Speaker 2: Palma on a day. Well, last week there was National
Speaker 2: Abduction Alien Abduction Day. So they did a little story.
Speaker 3: No one been abducted by aliens?
Speaker 2: Okay, any way, here's some data that they analyzed from
Speaker 2: the National UFO Reporting Center and digital media reports.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on. I
Speaker 1: have a question. They're dismantling the Department of Education. But
Speaker 1: this is nobody's dismantling this department.
Speaker 3: I don't think this is actually a government affiliated thing.
Speaker 3: National does not mean government affiliated.
Speaker 1: I'm just this is just.
Speaker 2: They analyzed the.
Speaker 3: Claims it's been they've been abducted.
Speaker 1: There's three people that I would really like to be
Speaker 1: abducted never to be seen again.
Speaker 3: Who's the third?
Speaker 2: M hmm, Wait, who are the first?
Speaker 1: Sue?
Speaker 2: Oh, I know one of them, Yeah, and then who's
Speaker 2: the other one?
Speaker 1: JD and musk.
Speaker 2: Van What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Oh? But JD Vance has such good memes come out
Speaker 3: of his Okay, so funny.
Speaker 2: Let's get back to what we're talking about, and that's
Speaker 2: alien abduction. So this this, they analyzed a bunch of data.
Speaker 3: Ohquebec, I'll take things that never happened for four.
Speaker 2: Hundred, okay, And they found that this state, in the
Speaker 2: whole United States, is the high has the highest likelihood
Speaker 2: of an alien Abdutch top to Oklahoma? Are we the
Speaker 2: top ten Arkansas? Number ten is Nevada. Duh, because that's
Speaker 2: where the home of Hay area fifty one and apparently
Speaker 2: that's where we have some alien.
Speaker 3: Why would they be abducting people.
Speaker 2: There then, because it's a big whatever. Okay. Number nine
Speaker 2: is Colorado. Number eight is Arizona. Number seven is Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2: Number six is Texas New York. Number five. You have
Speaker 2: a pretty good likelihood of being abducted if you live
Speaker 2: in Oregon. And Florida is number three. I'm sure a
Speaker 2: lot of those reports that come out of Florida might
Speaker 2: not be completely legit.
Speaker 3: God you think so?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: Washington State was number two, the number one state for
Speaker 2: the highest likelihood of being abducted by an alien. We're
Speaker 2: living in it California.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And according to this entity, this reporting center, these that
Speaker 2: came up with all this stuff. They said that the
Speaker 2: chances of an alien abduction might be higher than you think.
Speaker 3: Oh really, According.
Speaker 2: To the report, the odds of being abducted by aliens
Speaker 2: in America approximately one in one and thirty four.
Speaker 3: Wait, one in one thousand, that's what this report?
Speaker 1: Oh god boy, your chances are so good?
Speaker 3: Now's so that would mean we have like, like tens
Speaker 3: of thousands of people that have been abducted.
Speaker 2: There are tens of thousands of reports of people you
Speaker 2: know who you know? I just oh my Billy Corgan,
Speaker 2: Billy coryan for Smashing Pumpkins, was doing an interview recently
Speaker 2: where he says he witnessed a shape shifter, which is
Speaker 2: sort of alien.
Speaker 3: S Also, half of all alien reports are going to
Speaker 3: be just like LSD trips. Another half are going to
Speaker 3: be like.
Speaker 2: But sure sure lies cuckoo for Coca puffs people. But
Speaker 2: there is and there are a few nuggets in there
Speaker 2: that are damn real.
Speaker 3: I just want to just want to say, there's never
Speaker 3: been one verifiable or even.
Speaker 2: How could you how could you verify it? How could
Speaker 2: you verify an alien? If you're if you get sucked
Speaker 2: up in that light and they probe your butt and
Speaker 2: they do all this stuff. You come home, you're you
Speaker 2: go to the doctor. I would think and see what,
Speaker 2: but they can't prove it.
Speaker 3: One of the most high profile alien abductions was the
Speaker 3: one that fired in the sky was based off of
Speaker 3: not a single one of those guys past the polygraph.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean anything is quite a bit. They all
Speaker 2: witnessed it.
Speaker 3: Or they or they all made it up together. Easy,
Speaker 3: there's only three of them.
Speaker 1: Don't get me involved in this.
Speaker 2: I already fist me.
Speaker 3: Also, they like immediately sold the movie rights too so
Speaker 3: and they were attempting to sell it rights. I'm thinking
Speaker 3: made up.
Speaker 2: See I'm the most optimistic, like believe, naive, believe everything person,
Speaker 2: and he's completely the one thousand person.
Speaker 3: Opposite I want to believe. I think aliens are cool.
Speaker 2: They might not be, though, I don't care.
Speaker 3: I think the concept is cool, but there's just no
Speaker 3: good evidence that they currently exist.
Speaker 2: Things I've seen the aliens come when we are extreme
Speaker 2: what they really were starting to come around a lot
Speaker 2: of sightings when the nuclear stuff started happening, when we
Speaker 2: started making the nuclear stuff. Allegedly, that's what I've been reading.
Speaker 3: And there's also huge reporting biases in all alien accounts.
Speaker 2: O my god, Oh, I want to pounce you. I
Speaker 2: want to pounch you. I want to, I want to.
Speaker 2: I just want to go like this.
Speaker 3: Change the fact that I'm right.
Speaker 2: You're not. You don't know that I am right you.
Speaker 3: I have done actually a considerable amount of research in
Speaker 3: this stuff. I went thro an alien phase. When what's
Speaker 3: his face? David gersh yeah it was whoever? The guy
Speaker 3: is the test five for Congress.
Speaker 2: There's a guy named Jeremy something. He's a he. I mean,
Speaker 2: he could be a net but whatever. Hele he's a
Speaker 2: documentary he makes films, and he's really into this alien stuff. Anyway.
Speaker 2: He said there is something coming. It is coming, but no, like.
Speaker 3: Literally what they've been saying for years. All right, moving on,
Speaker 3: they said disclosure was going to happen. Doesn't like three
Speaker 3: years ago.
Speaker 1: I don't like it.
Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3: But now if Vonds gives him a cross look though,
Speaker 3: Oh he's square enough.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, any store any like checker gives you
Speaker 2: a cross look?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Whatever?
Speaker 2: All right, Here are hobbies that men enjoy but hide
Speaker 2: from everybody, which ones are these you do?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: And I know you do one of them. I know
Speaker 2: one hundred percent you do it every night. Stuffed animals
Speaker 2: and plushies like squish mellows on my bed. Nope, No,
Speaker 2: I secretly love motivational quotes.
Speaker 3: No, I like quotes, but not motivational ones. They'll suck.
Speaker 2: Bubble baths.
Speaker 3: Yeah, shower guy, showers are amazing.
Speaker 2: Love is blind.
Speaker 3: Nope. Y sewing, Actually I wish I knew this. So
Speaker 3: I got a button I need to fix on a jacket.
Speaker 1: I can fix it.
Speaker 2: You can sew see Then, yeah, you don't, but you
Speaker 2: don't like I don't do it.
Speaker 3: So so baking I like cooking.
Speaker 2: That's not the same as baking.
Speaker 1: I like baking.
Speaker 3: I like baking.
Speaker 2: Then you don't like. Okay, okay, enjoy like liking bands
Speaker 2: like Backstreet Boys, in Sync boy band fan. No, I'm
Speaker 2: a thirty something white suburban dad. This is one answer.
Speaker 2: And I love raunchy music like Nicki Minaj, and I
Speaker 2: love Taylor Swift, and I love Katie Perry.
Speaker 3: Those people. Actually I have questions about I like Katy Perry.
Speaker 2: Romantic comedies.
Speaker 3: Yes, I went through romantic comedy. Face. Really, that was
Speaker 3: a long time ago. This is like seventeen year old me,
Speaker 3: and my phase was like I watched five of them.
Speaker 2: Oh that was a short and then you were done, and.
Speaker 3: I was like, these are really stupid.
Speaker 1: They're so friend I.
Speaker 2: Know, fruity cocktails.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, those are great romance novels.
Speaker 2: No petticures have you ever had?
Speaker 1: I have?
Speaker 2: Oh they're so nice.
Speaker 3: I'm sure they are. I don't like care that much.
Speaker 2: Playing with my cat, watching elephant cat and dog videos. No, no,
Speaker 2: and classical music Lord of the Rings type of music.
Speaker 3: I do love classical music.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's not like a brilliant that's not.
Speaker 3: Great.
Speaker 1: I like Andrea but okay, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Look at you. Okay, now finally what phrase it knows
Speaker 2: you every time you hear it.
Speaker 1: Oh god, literally, there's so many here we go.
Speaker 2: I'm living my blank era, living my best life. Wait,
Speaker 2: what's the era whatever, I'm living my lego era, I'm
Speaker 2: living my dating era. I'm living my you know whatever,
Speaker 2: my my my crocheting era. Gas mostly because people don't
Speaker 2: use it, right, That's very true.
Speaker 3: No one knows what gaslighting means.
Speaker 2: What is the correct definition? Off the top of your.
Speaker 3: Head, gaslighting comes from a movie called gas It's called gaslight,
Speaker 3: where basically it's convincing someone that they're crazy for believing
Speaker 3: something that's obviously true. It's can no yeah about them
Speaker 3: or no, just in general, it is trying to convince
Speaker 3: someone that they're crazy for believing something that's obviously true. No.
Speaker 1: Gaslighting is like, let's say I say to Laura, you
Speaker 1: know what you did two weeks ago when you didn't
Speaker 1: return my call and I got stuck at the gas
Speaker 1: station when I never actually called you, So making things up, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then making somebody believe it, or taking taking a
Speaker 1: portion of a truth and making someone well feel like.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but it has to be saying that's obviously true.
Speaker 3: And that's where the the tricky part is is that
Speaker 3: people will use it for something they think is obviously true,
Speaker 3: but it's not actually necessarily true, so it's not gaslighting. Like,
Speaker 3: for example, if you were like like, god, this sky
Speaker 3: is really blue today, I'm like, or the sky's not
Speaker 3: blue at all, it's green, Like don't be crazy, and
Speaker 3: you're like, no, the sky's ly blue, and then I'm like, no, no,
Speaker 3: the sky is green, Like stop being insane. And I
Speaker 3: was like doing this forever. That's what like the movie
Speaker 3: is that I think the guy is turning down this
Speaker 3: the gas lamp and this stairwell slowly over time, and
Speaker 3: she's like, the light is going out. He's like, no,
Speaker 3: you're crazy, Light's fine. Okay, forget what the purpose is.
Speaker 1: So here's the definition manipulate someone using psychological methods into
Speaker 1: questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. And it
Speaker 1: is from a movie called Gaslight.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think the context is there was this there
Speaker 3: was lily, a gas lamp that this guy was. It
Speaker 3: was like a husband and wife, and he kept turning
Speaker 3: it down and convincing her that it was fine.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So I have definitely it wrong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone uses it wrong and it annoys me to
Speaker 3: no end.
Speaker 2: What about when people say, hubby hate that wifey priggers.
Speaker 3: No, dog o, that's funny sometimes, what doggo? Who says
Speaker 3: that if you use ironically, sometimes it's funny for baby?
Speaker 2: How about I did a thing? Or there's no such
Speaker 2: thing as a stupid question, because.
Speaker 3: I think you know what there are? There are, but
Speaker 3: I think encouraging people to just ask questions, I'll give
Speaker 3: it a.
Speaker 2: Pass, finishing every sentence with you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's just validation.
Speaker 2: But ever since yeah, not all heroes wear capes.
Speaker 3: Oh god, a cliche at this point, pov of everything.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, I love that for you.
Speaker 3: I hate that. I hate I just want to point
Speaker 3: out these are all phrases that, like women say to
Speaker 3: each other. Men have not said half these things.
Speaker 2: Oh they say this though well played.
Speaker 3: I mean, we'll played ever so well play. It's a
Speaker 3: good phrase. I think well played. It's okay.
Speaker 2: I think you may have No why is.
Speaker 3: That like a cringe phrase?
Speaker 2: It's just it doesn't annoy you when you that doesn't
Speaker 2: annoy me, Like saying saying in place of saying that
Speaker 2: you agree with something, saying.
Speaker 3: This no once again, that is a woman thing.
Speaker 2: And I was today years old when oh, hell no.
Speaker 3: Sometimes that's funny, but most time it's not.
Speaker 1: That is annoying. Like if you're if you say to somebody,
Speaker 1: how old is your baby? In they're all nine and
Speaker 1: seventy two months old, You're like, god, bless America. Just
Speaker 1: say they're seventeen, like or whatever.
Speaker 3: I think that's a little different.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, if they're thirty six months, yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: if they're over a year. Say they're a year and that.
Speaker 2: Used to bug me when I had little, tiny kids too.
Speaker 1: That bugged me then to drive me crazy.
Speaker 2: I agree with you. I totally agree with you. Okay, guys, anyway,
Speaker 2: I'm taking off because I'm going to l A. I'm
Speaker 2: taping a game show tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Friday for what.
Speaker 2: Let's make a deal, let's make it's going to be
Speaker 2: social media. I'm coming home with a car and a trip.
Speaker 3: Do you even know if you're getting chosen to be
Speaker 3: on the show.
Speaker 2: That's why I auditioned. I am one of the contestants.
Speaker 3: For sure.
Speaker 1: You're either coming home with a car and a trip,
Speaker 1: or you're coming home with a lifetime supply of like
Speaker 1: Jimmy Dean sausage.
Speaker 3: We'll see if they if you even make the cut.
Speaker 2: I might be in front of the producers and the
Speaker 2: there's a chance to go up there, And there is
Speaker 2: that chance. Yes, but I did have to. I had
Speaker 2: to audition in front of a producer.
Speaker 3: Price is right where you just show up and maybe
Speaker 3: they call your number.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I did the prices right.
Speaker 2: I did too, and I won. I was on the
Speaker 2: process right. I want a trip to Nice, France, that was.
Speaker 1: The dumbest thing I've ever done. I loved it because
Speaker 1: I hated it.
Speaker 2: So that was way back when.
Speaker 3: Anyways, Okay, I hope you win.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I don't think you will that so did you? You know?
Speaker 2: Like so mean?
Speaker 3: I'm just being honest.
Speaker 1: I will, I will.
Speaker 2: Don't you think I have luck? Don't you think I
Speaker 2: have any kind of luck at all?
Speaker 3: Make good? Which is a struggle.
Speaker 1: So good.
Speaker 3: Look, I want you to win as much as you can.
Speaker 3: I'm just not real optimistic about it.
Speaker 1: I'm just nervous.
Speaker 2: What about you?
Speaker 3: Do you think?
Speaker 2: Okay, give me the percentage I win something, I come
Speaker 2: home with nothing. What's the percentage if.
Speaker 1: You win something? She's going to stop by the casino
Speaker 1: on the way home.
Speaker 2: Who cares about what I do?
Speaker 3: Oh? On cares?
Speaker 2: Likelihood? No, what's the likelihood of me winning or coming
Speaker 2: home on that thing?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: What's win?
Speaker 1: I want to know what he thinks I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say there's gonna be a fifty to fifty chance.
Speaker 3: What that's high? Honestly, maybe you could win like two bucks, But.
Speaker 1: What I believe in you?
Speaker 3: What are the odds that she wins? To say, like
Speaker 3: a substantial amount of money.
Speaker 1: Mmm, I'm gonna say, knowing you like I do, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say she's gonna get impulsive and she's going to
Speaker 1: pick the life type supply of Jimmy Dean's sausage.
Speaker 3: You know, if I had to put if I had
Speaker 3: to put money on it, what you do is that
Speaker 3: you would be like up for like tenth grand. You'd
Speaker 3: like awesome, and you'd like somehow lose it all. I
Speaker 3: don't know how. Let's make it deal works, but you'd.
Speaker 2: Lose it all, all right, you know what? Right now,
Speaker 2: let's put money on it.
Speaker 3: Okay, if I'm right, you have to give me all
Speaker 3: everything you win?
Speaker 2: No, okay? How much are you willing to pony up?
Speaker 2: You think you? Okay? You want to make a bet?
Speaker 3: That's such a those are such low odds once that
Speaker 3: I would need like a serious return on that.
Speaker 2: No, if I come home with nothing, or if I
Speaker 2: come on with a prize.
Speaker 3: Oh, just in general.
Speaker 2: Yes, you want to put a twenty on it.
Speaker 3: I'll put a fifty on it. Oh dang, you can
Speaker 3: need twenty though, twenty is reasonable. You know what, I'm
Speaker 3: putting twenty on nothing. I'm going for the fifty okay,
Speaker 3: fifty on nothing, wait fift, hold on, because if I
Speaker 3: come back with like five bucks, that's not a win.
Speaker 2: I won't come home with.
Speaker 3: Fine, if you win more than one hundred dollars, then
Speaker 3: I get the face and I'll give you fifty bucks.
Speaker 2: If with nothing but like a like a souvenir pin
Speaker 2: or something, I.
Speaker 3: Don't I think you'll get that. Also, we're adding in taxes.
Speaker 3: So if if the after tax amount is not more.
Speaker 2: Than nothing, okay, okay, okay, ten.
Speaker 3: Grand or something.
Speaker 2: All right, well get over here right now because we
Speaker 2: have to shake on camera.
Speaker 3: Shake.
Speaker 2: No, that's annoying. Fine, I'm getting up.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, it real, Okay.
Speaker 3: I when if I ever renigged on a bet. What's
Speaker 3: the phrase renigged? Yeah, renigged on a bit. I think
Speaker 3: you'll be lucky if you even get on air.
Speaker 2: Get meaner, meaner.
Speaker 3: No, it's not you, it's just not problem.
Speaker 2: Put it in the universe. I'm gonna win something huge
Speaker 2: and Brian's gonna eat crow.
Speaker 3: But it's like if okay, it's like oh im tomorrow,
Speaker 3: I'm driving up down to the prices right they're taping here.
Speaker 3: What do you think or the odds will win something.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's low odds you'll even get on the show,
Speaker 3: So you know today should be mean?
Speaker 1: Did I ever tell you when I had to go
Speaker 1: through the audition process for the prices right, what.
Speaker 3: Happened if they don't do they even audition? I thought,
Speaker 3: you just know you for.
Speaker 2: The price is right? You go up in groups of
Speaker 2: like six, it's just if.
Speaker 3: They call you.
Speaker 2: No, yes, no, Brian, We've both done it.
Speaker 1: You have to audition for the producers and then they're looking.
Speaker 2: Before you go into the audience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so before you even go into the six at
Speaker 1: a time. Yeah, And then you go up individually. And
Speaker 1: there's a guy with all his I called him the
Speaker 1: Robert Palmer girls because they all stood around him with clipboards.
Speaker 1: And I had such a migraine the day that I
Speaker 1: went that I didn't even care. So there's they're like,
Speaker 1: tell us something interesting about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is your name? What do you do? And
Speaker 2: you can have to show you personality exactly.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't have given a flying f. So I
Speaker 1: got seated in literally the farthest back corner of the theater,
Speaker 1: and the people I were with were like, hey, if
Speaker 1: we if we go to the second showcase we double
Speaker 1: you know, because of course none of us got on,
Speaker 1: so we had to go through that whole dog and
Speaker 1: pony show again. So I go through, turn it up
Speaker 1: at least a little bit. They're like, so, tell us
Speaker 1: something interesting about yourself, and as dead pan as I could,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I do hardcore gay porn. And they all
Speaker 1: just they all looked at me and they were like, okay,
Speaker 1: at this at this point, I'm in I'm in the corner,
Speaker 1: the very last row corner, right next to the curtains,
Speaker 1: where I promptly passed out and fell asleep and security
Speaker 1: had to wake me up when the show was over.
Speaker 1: It I didn't show with me give a flying look.
Speaker 2: That's why you go up there at five in the morning.
Speaker 2: You avoid in line and then you do the whole thing.
Speaker 3: But there is no casting call. They just vet you
Speaker 3: in line basically.
Speaker 2: But there was a casting call for this one.
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean a whole lot more.
Speaker 2: It does, so I had to go through I to
Speaker 2: do a whole.
Speaker 3: Well, is there a guarantee that you will be on
Speaker 3: the show?
Speaker 2: I believe there is, Yes, okay, yes there is. And
Speaker 2: then the person I bring as a guest. There's no
Speaker 2: guarantee that that person, even though they have to dress
Speaker 2: in costume, will be it.
Speaker 1: See I would have never gotten on. They would have
Speaker 1: been like, tell us something interesting about yourself, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: just grow yourself.
Speaker 2: He just would have had his fate, his normal face on,
Speaker 2: and they'd be like.
Speaker 3: Oh, he's like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like to sleep a long where I don't where
Speaker 1: I don't get excited about anything. And then they're like, oh, that's.
Speaker 2: Not gonna be funnybody, but you but you are You could?
Speaker 2: I mean you could.
Speaker 1: They have no idea. What a delight I am?
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: All right anyway, so I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: And my response would be like watch our podcast.
Speaker 2: Awesome, okay, next week, Yes you'll have I'm either going
Speaker 2: to have to give or I'm going to get a
Speaker 2: fifty dollars bill.
Speaker 3: If you get ten thousand dollars, I'm gonna ask for
Speaker 3: some of it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I I'm coming back. You know what.
Speaker 2: I love this. I love that you put this challenge
Speaker 2: on me because now I'm like fueled and I'm going
Speaker 2: to fuel my crystals.
Speaker 3: I'm out in the universe. If I ever won ten
Speaker 3: thousand dollars on a game show. I'd give you each grand.
Speaker 2: No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 3: I probably would.
Speaker 1: Really, I'd get Brian a grand. If I want something
Speaker 1: else that's fun.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't give you guys.
Speaker 3: That's because you I need it.
Speaker 1: Brian, I'd give you a grand.
Speaker 2: You Why wouldn't you give me a grand?
Speaker 3: Because you wouldn't give me a grand?
Speaker 2: Oh, that's right. I'll buy you, guys, something fun, like
Speaker 2: what I'll buy dinner?
Speaker 3: Now, I could buy myself dinner.
Speaker 2: What do you want? Okay, okay, it's fine, all right.
Speaker 3: I know who my real friends are. It's fine.
Speaker 1: I'll pay you for your Netflix subscription for one month.
Speaker 3: I'll get you on those little Target cards. It's like
Speaker 3: one free month of Netflix. Yeah, about your god and
Speaker 3: a outback steakhouse.
Speaker 1: I'll get her a five dollars Starbucks gift card.
Speaker 3: Yeah. If I win two dollars fifty cents to left
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 2: Various things which there's a chance I could win, like
Speaker 2: a corner cole of things that or there's like a
Speaker 2: little there could be like little things. There could a
Speaker 2: TV or whatever. Whatever. If I have like a little
Speaker 2: a few things, I will give you each something.
Speaker 3: Okay, you do know you have to pay taxes on everything, right, Yes.
Speaker 2: Sir, I know that. I remember that from when I
Speaker 2: won the eight thousand dollars trip to Nie Friends. Like, No,
Speaker 2: it wasn't that big. It was way back then.
Speaker 3: I think now it's forty.
Speaker 2: Well, anyway, wish me luck.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be good luck.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I can't wait till she wins like a super nice
Speaker 3: car and then she gets a bill for like fifty
Speaker 3: thousand dollars for the tax I don't care.
Speaker 2: That'd be so fun to anyway. I love you, guys,
Speaker 2: and we'll talk on Monday, our live show Tuesday when
Speaker 2: it drops next week, this one. Whatever you're listening now,
Speaker 2: I get on even more what I'm saying anymore. And
Speaker 2: I love your podcast.
Speaker 1: I love you so much.
Speaker 2: I told myself i'd sit on my hands from now
Speaker 2: on because I talk too much with my hands. I like,
Speaker 2: it's really annoy boy.
Speaker 1: Well that looks awkward. No, no, no not at all? Not?
Speaker 2: Does it?
Speaker 3: All right? Good night? Everything?
Speaker 2: Love a podcast, Okay, always try to say that. Love you,
Speaker 2: my sweet babies. Bye,