Speaker 1: Man, old man, that's sharp and clear. That's the absolute
finest television set I ever did see.
Speaker 2: Well, now, wait a minute, how you know that that
you find television? Said Andy, You ain't even got the
thing turned on.
Speaker 3: Don't need to turn this set on. The North SAMs
just got the nameplate.
Speaker 2: DBS. Oh CBS. Yeah, that makes the greatest sight unseen.
Speaker 4: Oh CBS, Columbia, makers of America's most advanced radio and
television receivers. Present transcribed to Amos and Andy Show, written
by Joe Connolly and Bob Moser, featuring Amanda Randolph, Ernestine Wade,
Johnny Lee, Amos, Rees, Gus Bays, lud Gluskin's music Yours Truly,
Harlow Wilcock, and starring radios all time favorites Gosden and
Charles Barrell Amos Hardy.
Speaker 2: The Kingfish and.
Speaker 4: His wife Sapphire and her mother planned on spending a
month's vacation in Mama's cottage up in the country. The
Kingfish has just been up to look the place over
after the winter and has just returned with bad news.
Speaker 5: What dish you say, George, They had a flood of
where a cabin is flood?
Speaker 2: I'll say there was. When I got there, the coase
guard was draining out the cabin. They had a bills
pumped down the chimney.
Speaker 5: Lastly, little charttage in the country.
Speaker 6: Years ago, I spent my honeymoon up there.
Speaker 2: Well, unless you was a romantic barracouter inexactly the idea
honeymoon spot. No more, I George, stopped this fooling.
Speaker 5: Is there any danceness in the house.
Speaker 2: Well, there was a little in the living room, a
level how much about ten feet?
Speaker 5: But the water done receded well as the floors dried out.
Speaker 2: Now that's hard to tell the honey you see when
the flood receded, Uh, it receded the floor with it,
that's what happened.
Speaker 5: Well, we ain't got the money to fix it up.
I guess we'll just have to give up any thought
of a vacation right now.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe we could rent it out to somebody.
Oh Doo'm be silly. Only a boob would want a
place like that.
Speaker 6: Then you shouldn't have no trouble taste one to no one.
Speaker 5: I was right, George. You know the thing we ought
to do is put.
Speaker 3: An avermon to take her.
Speaker 5: Come on, Mama, we'll go in and call him up.
Speaker 2: Trying to runt that flooded cottage. This ain't gonna be easy.
It would take a fish to live up there. A fish.
They wait a mina. I think I know. It's just
the big fat, pooped out porpoise to occupy that aquarium too.
Just keep walking and there. The cottage is just over
this next nole down in the little valley. Lovely location,
and they're situated right between disappointment nose and gutted glen
the beautiful.
Speaker 3: About the well lessened Kingfish.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I should be taking the vacation
this time of the year.
Speaker 2: Oh look, andre, I worried about you. You spend the
whole winter down here in the city breathing this up
knocks you there? Well, you mean the air up here
is better or serven of theres and in the city
of the air is one part hydrogen and two parts carbon. Proxie.
There's only one way that you can get pure ad
and this and there. And I don't think you want
to spend your vacation and no oxygen tent.
Speaker 3: Do you. Well?
Speaker 1: Maybe he was right, Kingfish, but uh tell me something
is the water in the lake down.
Speaker 2: There been rising lately riding the wood? Make you say that?
Speaker 1: Well that show looks to me like there was a
flood up here.
Speaker 2: Hell the hell he is and right here here we is.
Well look at there there is your dream cottage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to uh wait a minute, King Ridge.
If the water don't rise around here, how come the
houses up in the air on six foot pylons ventilation?
Speaker 2: And there under the horse there they got what you
call a breezeway. Now come on and let's climb the
steps here and take a look at your beautiful mansion. Boy. Yeah,
well okay, now follow me across the porch and then
watch the loose boards. Then uh here and there I
tell you when you move in, uh uh say and
uh uh that's funny. He was here a minute ago
and they and the whereas you.
Speaker 1: I was down here in the breezewaite, King Fidg, just
ain't no.
Speaker 2: Time to play games. Come on out of there. Yeah,
give me your hand here, let's stand on that rock
down there. Come on, come on, let's up rant.
Speaker 1: All right there you yeah, holy macro king Fidge, I
went right through the porch.
Speaker 2: Well, like any players, the boys need a little tightening up,
you know, the more or less go in the door here, door,
and these a little tightening too.
Speaker 7: It.
Speaker 2: Uh, let's step over the thing down. Uh, let's leave
it down the floor now here we all uh look
the living room over there and there see there, and
nice new floors are put in your.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, king fish, this is all just one big room.
How you get fire rooms out of this place?
Speaker 2: Well, like all summer players, and you just draw the curtain.
Now you see you doorge the curtain like this, and
there you was. On this side of the curtain you
got a bedroom, and on the other side you got
a nice eight by four living rooms.
Speaker 1: That don't give me much of a living room. Suppose
I want to have a big house woman party. I
got about thirty or forty friends I'd like to have up.
How's I going to entertain them all in that little
bitty living room?
Speaker 2: Well, you can stagger the guests. Do you like to
do at the airport? Have him circle around outside? Tell
you was ready for him to come in and make
a landing at the punch bowl?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well all right, tell me something. What is this
curtain here?
Speaker 2: Well, if you're having a dinner party and you just
pulled this across like this, you see, and there's your
dining room.
Speaker 1: But I don't know about this place, Kingfish, with the
curtains and everything.
Speaker 2: Now look, and I admit the thing. He's a little
fixing up. But you can have the place for the
whole summer for just two hundred bucks. What do you say, boy, Well,
I ain't bad. Oh, great bargain there.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a deal, Kingfish. I'll take it.
Speaker 2: Fine, And now let's go back to the city and
we'll sign the ironbound contract. There. You go ahead, and
then we'll follow you on the posh all right behind you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, let's go. Thanks, Kingfish.
Speaker 1: I was gonna uh uh I uh, well, that's funny.
Speaker 3: I thought the Kingfisher was following me. Hey, Cakefish, Cakefish,
where is she down here?
Speaker 2: And just stop down to inspect the breeze wave me
you hear to break. I'm just glad I got that
cottage running down to. Let me get in the department
here and tell South far So home got some good news.
Speaker 5: Well, well, I got wonderful news for you today, George.
We got an answer to I add and I rented
the cottage today to a mister Walter Jackson for one
hundred dollars. He's moving in that at night.
Speaker 2: Uh honey, wait a minute, this is the other a mess.
I done rented the cottage to end it, and he
moving in there late tonight. Oh you ain't, George. Oh
this awful.
Speaker 5: Mister Jackson is a very nervous man. He said as
soon as he got there, he was gonna go right
to bed. Oh I wonder what will happen.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know, but I got idea. There's gonna
be more screaming and young enough, dad than the time
that Grandma was flapping the hogs and fell into the
pig waller. Hello there, this is Freeman Gosden. Tonight's Amos
and Andy Show is a little special because it marks the
start of our second six months of sponsorship by CBS Columbia.
And this is a good time to tell you about
something my partner, Charles Carell, and I have talked about
a number of times, and it is this. It's really
a pleasure to be selling a top notch product like
CBS Television sets. The CBS Columbia p people build a
truly fine television receiver and we just come right out
and tell you so without any ifs, hands or butts.
It makes us feel good to know that when you
go down to your dealers and see the fine picture
on a CBS set, when you hear the three hundred
and sixty full fidelity sound, and when you try CBS
sweep tuning, you'll discover what we have said about CBS
television sets is not exaggerated at all. These CBS sets
are exceptional sets, and each one represents solid value. Of course,
there's a mighty good reason for it. CBS Columbia is
the set manufacturing division of the Columbia Broadcasting System. The
greatest name in home entertainment.
Speaker 1: Show is Darkened. Well, I got my night shirt on
here in the washing area.
Speaker 2: Too bad.
Speaker 1: I fell down that breezeway and busted my kerosene lamp. Yeah,
let me feel my way across the living room here. Hm,
kingfish must have pulled all the curtains my heayways he
here's the bed. Yeah, let me sit down on the
edge of it.
Speaker 3: Oh me as I tired?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I as really exhausted.
Speaker 3: How do you like that? I really must be tired.
I ain't asleep, but I have snoring already. Uh, well,
let me lay it down, pulled the covers up around me.
Speaker 7: Here.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, this is one of them short beds. My
feet's is sticking out of the bottom.
Speaker 3: Yeah there is.
Speaker 1: There's my foot with the corn plaster on it.
Speaker 7: There's my foot with the busted toe.
Speaker 1: And there's my foot with the sock on it.
Speaker 3: The holy smoke. I must be tired, and I thought
I was. From here. It looks like I got three feets.
Speaker 7: I wonder what I'm.
Speaker 1: Yea, and I'm storing again, and I ain't asleep. Wait
a minute, there seems to be something here on the
next pillar. Oh oh, there's something wrong here, cause I
know I ain't got two heads. Oh me, I must
be so tired. I haven't hallucinations. And I'm gonna make
the final test. I'm gonna reach down here and pinch
my foot with the sock on it.
Speaker 3: There, Oh holy.
Speaker 2: I pinched my foot on the other head set out.
I'm getting out of here. Wait a minute, who's here
in this? Ain't nobody here, mister us all alone? Wait
a minute, stop, stop out of my way, Help let
me out of here.
Speaker 7: Help help, yah amos.
Speaker 1: And that's the whole story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a terrible thing. And they find another man
in your bed.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it was a mess, Amos.
Speaker 1: He run out the back way and I run out
the front way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, how did you get that bunk on your head? Then?
Speaker 1: Oh well that on the way out, I slipped on
a dead fish and landed in the breezeway.
Speaker 2: Again, you say that you ain't got no idea who
this man was you founding dead?
Speaker 1: No, when the Kingfish running me the place, he didn't
say nothing about no other man.
Speaker 2: I'm beginning to see here. You rented the pleaers from
the king feesh. Huh. Yeah, did you ever stop to
think that the Kingfish might have rented this pleas to
one other fellow?
Speaker 1: Well, now, why would the Kingfish want to do that?
After all, in the past, ways, all way, he's been buddies.
I mean, he never tried to jyp me. I mean
he ain't never tried to pull notes.
Speaker 3: Uh, I mean, uh, holy Macrolamos, he's done it again.
Speaker 2: You know, if I was you out, get hold of
that king fiece right away and straighten this nonsense out.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, I'm gonna call him up right away. Say,
by the way, Amos, could any of your kids use
a turtle. I found this in the pocket of my
ninety when I got out of the breezeway.
Speaker 2: Now taking these and there ain't no Cenison hollering me
on the telephone. Yeah, well the whole thing was a mistake. No,
you can't have your money back. I worked the thing.
I'll just give me time, man, I knew. Alright, alright,
I'll call you back later. Goodbye. Oh me, what a mess.
I went to players to end the sapphire to mister Jackson,
one of them has gotta go. Uh well, if it
ain't now donquin jack Calhoun, Now how the king fish
come on in here? What brings you over here? Donquin? No?
Speaker 6: I was over making a political speech in the park.
Speaker 2: Making a political speech. Oh, making a speech, un, I'll say.
Speaker 6: I climbed up on my soapbox and made the greatest
speech in my career. I stood on that soap boxing.
I said, ladies and gentlemen, a it's the plean governments.
We must wash our hands of vice and corruption. The
time has come to scrubb away the stigma of briberies,
to base our selves and democracy.
Speaker 2: Heath Feedle. Yeah, well did you get many votes? No?
But I show sold a out of soap. Well, I
got a different problem. Uh gonkhy Look here, I runned
a vacation cottage up in the Catskill Mountains and and
my wife done run it into a mister Jackson. And
last night they both discovered each other up there in
the place at the same time.
Speaker 6: Oh that's a nasty business, Kingfish, a nastted business. Somebody
got to go.
Speaker 2: Well, now, I'll tell her what I want to do.
I want key Band up there because he paying me
two hundred dollars. Yeah, he's a two hundred dollars man.
But I want to unrun it from Jackson. Of course,
he only paying me a hundred dollars. She died there
that he's been in halfway.
Speaker 6: Well, the thing to do is, it's the scaredest fellow
Jackson out of there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: You know, that's pretty wild country up there, and the
cat's skills, and you could make him think it's too
dangerous to live up there. Tell him that there's some
wild animals or something in the woods.
Speaker 2: Oh there's a great idea, Calhoun. Yeah yeah, tell him
the animals. Yeah. I'll tell Andy the truth about this
and get him to go up there and help me
scared of fellow Jackson. O, yes, well, when it comes
to your vacasion, I hope you don't have no trouble
like this. Cow Oh, I ain't gonna have no trouble.
I've done the.
Speaker 6: Same things ever. Summer whatever Sunday goes out to Cony
Island and rides the biggest roller coat today.
Speaker 2: T Yeah, well, don't you get scared on that roller course?
The cattle scared.
Speaker 6: Kingfish when it goes down that first stip. I freeze
out now, But at time it hits the bottom, I'm blubbering,
not a baby.
Speaker 2: The riders over.
Speaker 6: It takes two men's to get me out the car. Oh, kingfish,
I has a whippering, blubbering mess. I have to spend
three days in bad before I was well enough to
go back, and then ride that thing again on the
next Sunday.
Speaker 2: Hold that s most cold. If the roller course to
make you that sick, why do you keep going on it?
And I've got a free path.
Speaker 4: All the crowning glory of any TV set is its
sound system. No matter how good a picture you get,
you can enjoy a show thoroughly unless the sound is
sparkling clear in the field of television sounds. CBS sets
stand alone with their famous three hundred and sixty full
fidelity sound system, the very same system that has received
worldwide acclaim in high five phonographs. As you probably know,
three hundred and sixty sound uses two speakers, but let
me point out that the number of speakers is by
no means the whole story. In the CBS three hundred
and sixty system, these two speakers are especially matched and
specially designed with deep cones and heavy voice coil magnets.
They are powered by a specially designed amplifier that handles
a wide range of sound without distortion. These speakers face
in opposite directions, so that sound reaches you from all
around the whole room plays. There's something else that's mighty important.
Not only does the three hundred and sixties system sound
better than anything else you've ever heard in television, but
you'll be conscious of an improvement in picture quality too.
Speaker 2: And that's not just a.
Speaker 4: Claim, it's a fact proved in a recent psychological test.
For a new experience in TV, go on down to
your dealers and see and hear a CBS television set.
Twenty one inch models start at one hundred and forty
nine to ninety five.
Speaker 5: Well, mister Jackson, it was nice of you to phone me,
and I'm awfully sorry to hear you had all this trouble.
Speaker 8: Yes, Missus Stevens, I'm phoning you from the hardware store
in the village near the cottage.
Speaker 2: After what happened.
Speaker 8: Last night, I came down here to the hardware store
and bought myself a con.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm sure when my husband gets there tonight he'll
fighting the whole thing out.
Speaker 3: Show is dark up here at Thissdell the night and kings.
Speaker 2: Well now and there here's the cottage. Now listen to this.
I going in and talked to missus Jackson, like I
told you I was gonna do. Now, you know what
you're gonna do to help me scare them away? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sure, I'm gonna hide in the bushes and pull this
string with the rozin on her through this big tin
can like this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good and the good Now that really sound like
a mountain lion?
Speaker 3: Alrighty yeah?
Speaker 2: Or that really order skin? Now, get over in the
bushes there. And when I gets in the cottage, and
I was there for about two three minutes, you make
a noise like a mountain lion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, uh, say tell me something. Uh you show
we're doing the right thing here. Kingfish couldn't backfire nothing,
could it?
Speaker 2: Oh cools not?
Speaker 1: And yeah, well I hope this stringing can don't make
no noise like a female mountain lion.
Speaker 3: Because of a male.
Speaker 1: Mountain lion heard the thing and come around. I sure
hate to see his expression when he found out I
was just a tin can.
Speaker 2: Well, never mind that. And and I'll tell you what
you get on over there in the woods. And I
going in there, talk to mister Jackson.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, I'll be going over there.
Speaker 2: I'll see you. M Jackson got his legs turned on.
He must be in all right. I'd better knock on
the bias here. I don't want to go through that
breezeway again. I shouldn't have too much trouble with this fellow. Yes, yes,
what is it? Don't be alarm miss Jackson. I ain't
no wild beasts from out of the woods, as only
your landlord. Oh you must be, mister Stevens.
Speaker 8: Won't you come in?
Speaker 2: Uh just stopped in to see if you was comfortable
up here in this lonely desolate spot.
Speaker 8: Well, I was telling your wife, I had quite an
experience last night. I woke up in the middle of
the night and there was this man in my bed.
Speaker 2: You don't mean to tell me, well, uh, you gotta
break anywhere. At least you wasn't sharing the covers with
a coyote or something like that.
Speaker 8: It was a frightening experience.
Speaker 2: Well, just being such a wild part of the woods,
almost anything could happen, you see, Yeah, I tell you
good Heavens. What was that that? Oh, that was just
one of them man eating ferocious mountain lions to scare Hmm.
Sounds like it's.
Speaker 8: Pretty hungry to night doing it doing their mountains lines
up here.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, the woods is full of them. Uh. I
ran into place last year till a man and woman
with eight kid and he took my advice and he
counted them every morning before breakfast. In the second week
he started coming up shy. Of course, I reduced the
rent as the season more on, you see hmm, sound
like you're ready for blue plate dinner and they're doing it.
Speaker 8: Well, I'm frightening the grand I'm prepared for something like this,
Oh preparing, Yes, After that little episode with that power
last night, I went into town and bought myself a gun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm glad you you you sa a gun?
Speaker 8: Yeah, London sturdy caliber with a telescopic sight.
Speaker 2: I'll go and get it. I'll fix that mount Yeah. Well,
while you gone, I'll go out on the porch and
see run scared of mountain lying away mount lying mountain
lyon turn up? Who was looking?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: There's a man coming out telling the gun fell a caliber. Remondson,
beat it, mount lying beat it? I got my gun.
Well it's two late, mister Jackson. There he done gone
off in the woods.
Speaker 8: Wait a minute, I see it between the trees.
Speaker 2: Make I can get a shot. Oh you must have
uh something wrong with her?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 2: I know I'm nervous, but I could have sworn that
mountain line had on.
Speaker 4: A dirt.
Speaker 2: Stephens.
Speaker 8: I don't know what's going on here, but I'm moving out.
I want my money back.
Speaker 2: Well I saw it moster. Well, you can move out
if you want to, but I ain't giving you your
money back. Look are you trying to jyp me here? No?
I can't help. But if you scared move it out
on your own violation. You can't get no money back
from me.
Speaker 8: Uh, what was that, I was just cocking the gun here.
Speaker 6: That was a hundred dollars even, wasn't that much I got,
John Stevens, I ain't gonna spend my vacation up there
in dismal dalla.
Speaker 2: That's that. Yeah, But we got a honey. Mister Jackson
done moved out and after the shooting, and they won't
have no part of the players. He demanded his money back.
Speaker 5: Well, I ain't going to no place that's liable to
be flooded.
Speaker 2: Now, look, south Fire, look here a couple of days
of sunshine and the players will be as dy as
to it. They rainy seasons, sof I guarantee you that
ain't gonna rain no more.
Speaker 5: Well, all right, George, Oh good, I guarantee you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I I hope you're right, cause we ain't got no
money to go no place else. I guess we'll just
have to make the best of that cottage. But let
me warn you, George, you know what daphness will do
to mama's lumbago, and if anything happens to spire this vacation,
I'll never forgive you the rest of my life.
Speaker 2: Well, good morning, south Fire. Do your mama still sleeping
behind the other curtain. That's so I brung your breakfast
into you, had you sleep you first night at good
old Dismaldell.
Speaker 5: George all was just looking out the winder here it's raining.
Speaker 2: Oh no, honey, just a little slight spring drizzle we
call it.
Speaker 5: Now. Look, George Stevens, you don't think there's gonna be
another flood, dude?
Speaker 2: Oh no, honey. Uh you reading the newspaper. The flood
season is over. Or we as a good mile from
the lake, and anyway, the house is on six foot piling.
No water can come in here this time of year.
Speaker 5: Well all right, George, Oh say you.
Speaker 2: Forgot the coffee there. I was waiting for the milker.
I'll go out on the porch and seevers come in here.
Oh yeah, it's uh holy Mackwell South, I look what's
floating in the front door. And what are you doing
to that poor old TV set? Trying to wreck it?
Speaker 1: No, sir, I's unrecond is creating the greatest contribution ever.
Speaker 2: Made to the ancient art of tuning in a TV set. Yeah,
well that's nice. Annie, tell me about it.
Speaker 1: Well, you know the nuisance the way you always had
a tune a TV set, all them twiddly little dials
with the squinty little numbers, all that bending down and
reaching around.
Speaker 7: Yeah, boy, that's gone with my new system.
Speaker 1: The channel numbers is big and easy reading, and they
have spread out clean across the front of the set,
and under the numbers there's just this one handy little knob.
Then when he wants to switch from channel four to
channel two, you just.
Speaker 3: Wished that knob across and there you is.
Speaker 2: Ah, where is that?
Speaker 3: You is locked in tune for good?
Speaker 2: That's where you is well? And it is just one
thing about this invention of yours. He has already been
invented by the CBS Columbia people. They calls it's sweep tuning.
You mean to say that CBS Columbia is done? Beat
me to the draw.
Speaker 1: They already got this quickest, handiest station selected.
Speaker 2: He Shue has. That's the sweep tuning everybody's been talking about.
What's more, you can get sweep tuning in a twenty
one inch CBS TV set for only one hundred and
forty nine dollars and ninety five cents. Hey, why are
you going there?
Speaker 1: And I gotta get them a dealer before he sold
out of them.
Speaker 3: CBS sweep tuning cents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wait a minute, here, take your whole set along
with you. Get yourself a real nice trade in Well,
folks would like to say good night for our sponsors,
CBS Columbia, manufacturers of America's most advanced radio and television receiver.
Thank you and goodnight.
Speaker 3: See you next Sunday.
Speaker 4: They show to be with us at the same time
next Sunday for the Emerson Andi Show. Transcribed and directed
by Cliff Powell. Tonight's program was brought to you by
CBS Columbia Manufacturers are full fidelity television receivers, and for
a real treat in TV entertainment, tune in Life with Father,
presented every week by CBS Columbia over the CBS Television Network.
See your paper for time and station. Now stay tuned
for Armist Books, which follows immediately over most of these
same radio stations.