Speaker 1: All right, the nine news nuggets. You need to know.
Speaker 2: These are stories that happened throughout the week. But we
Speaker 2: were just too busy talking to Michael Monks and about
Speaker 2: his sale of k Y that led to too much
Speaker 2: junk food on his way to Los Angeles to pick
Speaker 2: up his cat's hair and make candy.
Speaker 1: So here we go, Honorable Mention. Honorable Mention not supposed
Speaker 1: to mention the honor serving with you great and honorable motive.
Speaker 1: So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
Speaker 1: of Honorable Mention.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: I love people acting a fool at a wake or
Speaker 2: a funeral, or a rosary or any sort of celebration
Speaker 2: of life. I love it when people act a fool,
Speaker 2: specifically when those people have killed the person in the casket.
Speaker 2: A teenagers tearful eulogy to her mother and stepfather of
Speaker 2: help police charge her with their murder. Her name's oh no,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Her name is Sarah. She's seventeen. She was
Speaker 2: arrested in charged with murder this week. Her parents were
Speaker 2: Kristen forty one, and her husband James Brock. He is
Speaker 2: a stepdad, forty five years old. They were shot and
Speaker 2: killed in their home in Carrollton, Georgia.
Speaker 1: She was sixteen.
Speaker 2: Sarah was when her mom and stepdad died, and they
Speaker 2: say that mountains of physical and digital evidence led to
Speaker 2: her being charged, including her eulogy at the funeral. Apparently,
Speaker 2: people that watched Sarah eulogize her dead parents did not
Speaker 2: buy it that there were no tears, there was no
Speaker 2: psychopath trace of faked sadness.
Speaker 1: There was just nothing there.
Speaker 2: She In the footage, Sarah stands there on the stage
Speaker 2: at Catalyst Church and her voice appears to crack from
Speaker 2: emotion when she says, for those of you who don't
Speaker 2: know me, my name is Sarah, and I am Kristen
Speaker 2: Brock's daughter and James Brock's stepdaughter. She, by the way,
Speaker 2: said she heard nothing when they were shot and killed
Speaker 2: in their small home. She went on to say, this
Speaker 2: isn't easy. I'm really happy to get to do this,
Speaker 2: but just bear with me because I stutter a lot.
Speaker 2: Probably any mention of you being happy about getting to
Speaker 2: do a eulogy is misplaced.
Speaker 1: In a eulogy, she said, I just wanted to.
Speaker 2: Say goodbye to my mom and James since we never
Speaker 2: got the chance to. I was so used to you
Speaker 2: guys always being here. That I never thought that y'all
Speaker 2: would not be here, and I didn't have a single
Speaker 2: clue about how much I needed you all until now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: ain't that the truth? Apparently her stepfather had a bad heart,
Speaker 2: had like a heart machine, and she said, your heart
Speaker 2: will finally be healed in heaven and you won't be
Speaker 2: in pain anymore, and that gives me so much comfort.
Speaker 1: Again, maybe you.
Speaker 2: Want to leave it out, but she's only seventeen, you know. Anyway,
Speaker 2: they said, be wary the people around her who saw
Speaker 2: this and thought what a croc. They said that she's
Speaker 2: seen as just this sweet little girl and that even
Speaker 2: a monster can be a little girl in a dress.
Speaker 1: Number nine. At number nine, I did ninth place. If
Speaker 1: a cop to dirty nine times out of tennis partners
Speaker 1: dirty two and I speak nine languages actual night, basically
Speaker 1: everybody at table thening, I'll be all ready to go
Speaker 1: another nine?
Speaker 2: And Niner?
Speaker 1: Did I get check Niner in there? Will you call him?
Speaker 1: From alawakie talkie.
Speaker 2: A missing surfer has been found alive on a remote
Speaker 2: island about eight miles off shore. This is in New
Speaker 2: South Wales, Australia. Is spent the night at sea on
Speaker 2: his long board. He had been identified as Darcy Defaults.
Speaker 2: That's a fun name, and yes, spent a night at
Speaker 2: sea on his longboard. His bike, clothes and shoes were
Speaker 2: discovered at a local spot. That he'd left his phone
Speaker 2: in smart watch at the family home. But a night
Speaker 2: on on the longboard. He apparently went out too far
Speaker 2: couldn't get back. But he's in good spirits. He's being
Speaker 2: supported by family. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Speaker 2: A night on your longboard during the summer off of
Speaker 2: the coast of Australia.
Speaker 1: Sounds kind of peaceful, right, No one yammoring at you.
Speaker 1: You're number eight.
Speaker 3: Tid is bold every eight second listening to eight different
Speaker 3: bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 1: He uh, oh, you guys.
Speaker 2: I just got a text message from the boss of
Speaker 2: all bosses here, the president of iHeartMedia in Los Angeles,
Speaker 2: who apparently listens to the show and says, it sounds
Speaker 2: like you want me to suspend you. That's what happens
Speaker 2: when you do the show on your own and you
Speaker 2: feel like you're just talking to yourself in a padded
Speaker 2: room for four hours every day. Apparently people listen. No
Speaker 2: if you're still listening. I do not want to be suspended.
Speaker 2: I like a paycheck. That was for jokes. That was
Speaker 2: just jokes for us, all right. Number eight Two people
Speaker 2: face multiple charges after they were caught allegedly trying to
Speaker 2: have sex while driving a stolen RV. I have a
Speaker 2: follow up? Was the sex while the car was in motion?
Speaker 2: I think that's the follow up we all have upon
Speaker 2: reading that headline. There was a patrolman attempted to pull
Speaker 2: over a car after he saw.
Speaker 1: A white RV.
Speaker 2: According to the complaint, the officer saw a naked woman
Speaker 2: straddling a man. This may get me that suspension, won't
Speaker 2: it that. I'll just dial that back and we'll not
Speaker 2: finish that sentence. Yes, the car was in motion, specifically
Speaker 2: the RV. The RV came to a stop a half
Speaker 2: mile after the officer turned his lights on.
Speaker 1: Apparently, the man and the woman did the old.
Speaker 2: Trick of changing sheet sheets and no seats while being
Speaker 2: pulled over, and when asked what they were doing, the
Speaker 2: man said, we were having sex.
Speaker 1: So there is that illegal? Can you not do that?
Speaker 2: Is this not America? Can you not have sex in
Speaker 2: your vehicle?
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 2: East Germany? If I buy myself an RV. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do what I want to do in my RV. I mean,
Speaker 2: you know, within within legal reason. But that's odd. Oh
Speaker 2: I see one of them was drunk. One of them
Speaker 2: was intoxicated. That's the problem.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: If you're gonna have sex in your RV, don't get
Speaker 2: caught with a bottle behind the wheel.
Speaker 1: Number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son. We're
Speaker 1: on seven day with a government che seven seven a.
Speaker 3: Seven years of college done to.
Speaker 2: Drain seven seven days. I love it when people go
Speaker 2: and seek advice from Reddit. You know it's gonna be
Speaker 2: good if you've got to go to the Reddit community
Speaker 2: to get back up on your life decisions. It's a
Speaker 2: special type of advice, isn't it. There is a woman
Speaker 2: doing adjust that she left her own birthday dinner once
Speaker 2: her sister unexpectedly announced her engagement. This was a Reddit post,
Speaker 2: like many do, that quickly sparked debate.
Speaker 1: The woman she's twenty eight.
Speaker 2: She says, my birthday was last weekend and just celebrate,
Speaker 2: I planned a nice, low key dinner with is, my parents,
Speaker 2: my partner, and my older sister Anna.
Speaker 1: She explained that.
Speaker 2: She loves her sister, but she has a history of
Speaker 2: making big moments about her. It's been a running joke
Speaker 2: in our family. It's always bothered me. At first, the
Speaker 2: dinner goes smoothly. They're enjoying an evening. The waiter brings
Speaker 2: out the birthday cake, and just as the waiter walks
Speaker 2: toward the table with the cake, Anna stands up, clinks
Speaker 2: her glass, and launches into a speech.
Speaker 1: The speech ends.
Speaker 2: With her flashing a brand new engagement ring and announcing
Speaker 2: that her boyfriend had proposed earlier that evening. They say
Speaker 2: the moment's done to everyone at the table. They immediately
Speaker 2: erupted into tears. The waiter awkwardly places they cake down,
Speaker 2: and it is quickly forgotten.
Speaker 1: Amid all the excitement.
Speaker 2: The rest of the dinner consumed by wedding plans blah blah, blah,
Speaker 2: blah blah. The girl whose birthday it was says, I
Speaker 2: told my partner I was not feeling well. I paid
Speaker 2: my share of the bill and I left. She is furious,
Speaker 2: and the sister who's got engaged is furious that the
Speaker 2: other sister whose birthday it was it left, and she's
Speaker 2: accusing her of ruining the special moment, her special engagement
Speaker 2: moment with her pounding over her birth. And this is
Speaker 2: why I'm thankful that I didn't meet my sister until
Speaker 2: I was thirty nine years old. I didn't need a
Speaker 2: whole life of this, of this just bickering over special occasions?
Speaker 2: Is this what sisters do all the time? Come on, now,
Speaker 2: you should both be happy for each other. There's two
Speaker 2: special occasions. Number six.
Speaker 1: I got six, You got six, she got six.
Speaker 2: Number six, there's six more weeks of water way picture
Speaker 2: of me a rabbi, and six drunk and longshore.
Speaker 1: We just dig in a nursing home closer to us.
Speaker 2: I don't have to drive down drink another six pack.
Speaker 2: Let's see what we got here. There is a man
Speaker 2: in Florida accused of stealing a novelty tourist train and
Speaker 2: picking up bystanders on the fourth of July before being
Speaker 2: arrested by Key West police. His name's Jonathan Winslow, fifty seven,
Speaker 2: and he told police it's my birthday.
Speaker 1: Now, what a fun day.
Speaker 2: It's your birthday, You jack a tourist train and you
Speaker 2: pick up strangers to join the party. Again, Is this
Speaker 2: not America? Does that not sound like a nice day
Speaker 2: of a way to celebrate your freedom of America and
Speaker 2: on your birthday.
Speaker 1: That's that's unfortunate.
Speaker 2: He arrived at the depot, he left his Kia still
Speaker 2: running and he took off with the train. Employees were
Speaker 2: left confused. But what a fun day. Oh oh, here's
Speaker 2: the problem. He was on meth. He had a meth
Speaker 2: pipe in his pocket.
Speaker 1: He was on the meth. He had the meth pipe.
Speaker 1: He had the meth on his person. Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. Number five for five.
Speaker 2: I have five rules.
Speaker 1: We begin bombing in five minutes. Five. This is the
Speaker 1: year five point five. Give me a favorite, lose five
Speaker 1: pounds immediately.
Speaker 2: Would you know what the shape of your development is?
Speaker 2: Your housing development?
Speaker 1: Like? Would you know what it looks like overhead?
Speaker 2: Maybe you do, maybe if you a house or something
Speaker 2: like that, you kind of know where you're at in
Speaker 2: your development, But would you recognize it being shaped as
Speaker 2: a penis?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Who looks at an overhead shot of a housing development
Speaker 2: and goes moak's like a penis?
Speaker 1: I think there's something else going on there.
Speaker 2: Residents have blasted plans for a new housing estate.
Speaker 1: This is in the UK, and.
Speaker 2: They say that the shape of the housing estate is
Speaker 2: ridiculous that it looks like a penis. It's a two
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty home development and local people do not
Speaker 2: find this amusing. This has gotten the go ahead from
Speaker 2: council planners, but people are up in arms about it.
Speaker 2: Some say it's because it will remove more greenery from
Speaker 2: the area, it will affect the wildlife. But others are
Speaker 2: turning up to the council meetings demanding that they bulldoze
Speaker 2: some of the houses because it looks like a penis.
Speaker 2: Into which I say, if you're upset about the shape
Speaker 2: of your house housing development, you have won life.
Speaker 1: If that's what you're complaining about.
Speaker 2: Number four four minute is probably on his fourth tranquilizer
Speaker 2: by now.
Speaker 1: Come number four.
Speaker 3: This isn't the same world you left four years.
Speaker 2: The world's most expensive cheese has sold. This is a
Speaker 2: cheese made in Spain and it has sold for forty two,
Speaker 2: two hundred and thirty two dollars. This Cabrales cheese was
Speaker 2: aged in a cave for ten months, so it is old.
Speaker 1: It is moldy. It is all the cheese things.
Speaker 2: Who spent forty two thousand dollars on a piece of cheese,
Speaker 2: five pounds cow's milk, five pounds of cheese for forty
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: All right, number three free shall be the number that
Speaker 1: house count and the number of the counting shall be three.
Speaker 3: Fight were dead within three hours?
Speaker 1: Three security clearance level three.
Speaker 3: All three of three.
Speaker 1: I got all three of you guys for the rest
Speaker 1: of your na be born, live your back three days.
Speaker 1: They both start to stink.
Speaker 3: Three.
Speaker 1: This is genius.
Speaker 2: This is up there with Petros Papadacus referring to James
Speaker 2: Bergener as sweet James.
Speaker 1: This is brilliant advertising. Here.
Speaker 2: There's a billboard that's gone up in Cleveland and it reads, yes,
Speaker 2: I buy crackhouses. This has gotten a lot of criticism
Speaker 2: across Cleveland. It's an out of state investor that put
Speaker 2: these up. But what a great ad opportunity. Yes, I
Speaker 2: buy crack houses. Is your house trash? I'll pay cash.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 2: John Williams is the guy. He is a self proclaimed
Speaker 2: investor from out of state. And it is a high
Speaker 2: visibility campaign and I think it's genius. How are you
Speaker 2: gonna ever call anybody else than the crack house guy?
Speaker 1: Number two? What's going on?
Speaker 3: You two?
Speaker 1: We got two fingers, there's two sons and no women
Speaker 1: who ringing.
Speaker 2: There is a twenty one second role that they say
Speaker 2: scientists being that they hear everyone should follow while peeing
Speaker 2: to stay healthy. Oh kay, it says according to research,
Speaker 2: any mammal that's us who weighs over six point six pounds,
Speaker 2: that's us, should need an average of twenty one seconds
Speaker 2: to completely empty their bladder.
Speaker 1: So that's the deal.
Speaker 2: In order to determine this number, scientists filled their days
Speaker 2: with watching clips of various mammals emptying their bladder in
Speaker 2: order to gain an understanding about how long an animal
Speaker 2: typically takes to pee. So they say, if a person
Speaker 2: spends much longer than twenty one seconds peeing, it should
Speaker 2: be a signed they're holding in urine for too long,
Speaker 2: leading the bladder expanding more than it should. If your
Speaker 2: peeing consists for longer or shorter, it could be a
Speaker 2: underlying health issue. So who's going to count their next
Speaker 2: p all of us, we'll all be thinking of each
Speaker 2: other when we sit down and we start counting, second
Speaker 2: by second altogether.
Speaker 1: Number one weird, number one, Number one, we're number one.
Speaker 1: Ben I decided to look out for number one. Are
Speaker 1: you the number one, row number one, number one, number one.
Speaker 3: Let's see lax to phil Adelphia. Let's see if I
Speaker 3: can get on a flight to night not bad, non
Speaker 3: stop on Frontier, about two hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: Why do I want to go there? Well, that's why
Speaker 2: we should all want to go there. There's a nude
Speaker 2: bowling event in Pennsylvania tomorrow, the Pittsburgh Oh it's Pittsburgh,
Speaker 2: not Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh area, naturally like I'm actually planning the flight.
Speaker 2: The Pittsburgh area naturalists are hosting a nude bowling event tomorrow.
Speaker 1: What is the name of the event?
Speaker 2: Balls out to bowling. Eh, you do have to be
Speaker 2: over eighteen kids. You don't have to be a good bowler,
Speaker 2: but you do have to be nude. Thirty dollars, four
Speaker 2: hours of unlimited bowling and shoe rental. Otherwise nude, it's required.
Speaker 2: They do say women can choose to wear bottoms. How sweet.
Speaker 2: There you have it. There's your weekend event.