Speaker 1: Good Morning from Hell. I'm Chris and I died recently
and my eternal punishment is to do this podcast where
we interview everyone in the underworld with my co host,
who is running for vice president of Hell against his
brother Satan Clayton.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, I've been holding that in. What did it smell? Like?
Speaker 3: What did I eat?
Speaker 4: It's a new segment on our podcast we like to
call what did Clayton need for lunch?
Speaker 1: Did you? Did you just literally eat shit?
Speaker 3: I literally ate just shit?
Speaker 1: Good job, Chris. Hey, yeah he did it because it
smells like a fart but worse.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just for you.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, no, hey, hey, thanks for having me on
my own show.
Speaker 1: I'm Clayton.
Speaker 3: I have been living alive for several thousand years.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't need any introduction. I'm going to just stop
right there. What are we doing today?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So we got a few couple questions from the audience,
a couple of reviews, and then we're gonna get to
an interview. Okay, there's a question from a Good Morning
from Hell suber that user Beatlement. They ask, don't sinners
just get used to the torture? For example, if you're
de dunk Chris and molten metal every day for a year.
Wouldn't he just get used to it? How do you
keep the torture interesting after centuries of pain?
Speaker 3: Oh, beatlement, that's a great question.
Speaker 4: And you know, just so you know that molten metal trick,
I haven't tried that yet. We'll be doing that tomorrow.
So thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you very much.
Speaker 3: You know you make a great point.
Speaker 4: You know, you know, after centuries of being with this
same person and torturing them, you know, things get a
little stale. So it's really important to just you know,
add a little zest. So like you know, sometimes I'll
just I'll just show up at Chris's place un announce, yeah,
and you know I'll torture them, you know, in new
and unique ways. Role play. Roleplays a big one, you know.
That's that's a great way to mix it up in
the torture chamber.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sometimes it's like he tells me to pretend like
I'm torturing him, and then I try, you know, I start,
and then he immediately like overtakes me and then just
tortures me. I don't know he likes it. I don't really, Yeah,
I don't really get off on that. But you know,
you know, you got to give and take. He mostly
just takes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's important.
Speaker 4: You know, you want to make sure that you're just
not going through the motions with your partner, with your
torture partner. You know, you want to make sure that
you know, every day you're coming up with some way
to kind of you know, make their life a little shittier,
you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this this is not for everybody. Sometimes you
can even you know, have a have a special nights
where you you know, trade partners and you get tortured
by other people.
Speaker 4: Not everyone's into it, but if that's your thing, you know,
no judgment here. You know, whatever keeps that that fire
in the relationship, you know that fire that I.
Speaker 3: Used to like burn Chris's flesh. Yes, yeah, very important.
Speaker 1: Okay, And then we got to here's a couple of
five star reviews that we're going to read. So if
you leave a five star review somewhere on a podcast app,
then we might read it.
Speaker 4: Unless it's an app that allows you to give six
or seven, or perhaps ten stars, or maybe a scale
from one to one hundred.
Speaker 3: Either way, just give us a maximum number of reviews.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Phil Hardy wrote Holy five stars and then this
is a holy podcast.
Speaker 4: You know, people say that cyber bullying, you know, isn't
a real thing. That it's it's it's not real bullying.
It's not real, but it is, you know, comments like that,
it's gonna keep me up at night. I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna sleep. I'm gonna be
a waking up and I'm gonna be thinking about that.
The horrible thing that that guy.
Speaker 3: Just said to us.
Speaker 1: Well, he did give us a five star rating, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, but he could get in our review.
Speaker 2: Yeah at what cost.
Speaker 4: It's only so that he could get on the review
portion of our show. And then, yeah, you know, the
energy's gone.
Speaker 3: I just did.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sorry, stretch it out a bit.
Speaker 3: I need to walk that one off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well here's another one. Uh all right, The
Angry Cactus rights Hail Clayton five stars and then they
say I sold half of my soul to watch this podcast.
Definitely worth it needs a bit more Chris Torture.
Speaker 3: Oh, you know what, that's a great, great investment, Angry Cactus.
Speaker 1: You did a good thing with that, especially considering they
sold their soul to watch the podcast and it's audio only,
so like, I don't know what they're seeing.
Speaker 3: But man, yeah, yeah, that's true. They did say watch.
But to be clear though, it was only half their soul.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they have a lot of things that they could do.
I mean, obviously, Chris Torture, that's coming.
Speaker 3: We're gonna be doing more of that.
Speaker 4: That's that's that's never gonna end. But you know, half
of soul, you it's still a lot of stuff you
could do with that. You know, get a half a
conduct bar, you could you know, we could send some
guys to your place for the other half of the soul.
Speaker 3: You know, they could redo your floors.
Speaker 4: You know, it's not gonna be a very good job,
and it's gonna be you know, lambinet wood floor, but
it's you know, it's.
Speaker 3: Better than the that eighty five tile you got in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I mean if they if they had their
full soul, they could probably give a full a better tile,
oak flooring.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anything else they could do with that half of soul
for sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, no, they could. They could invest, you know,
collect interest a while out on Wall Street. You know,
none of those brokers have souls, so they'll take good
care of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: By the end, you know, by the time you retire,
you could be you could you could have like two
or three souls, you know, you never know. Yeah, depending
on the stocks you play your cards, right. Yeah, Well
that's been the financial portion of our podcast. Thank you,
Angry Cactus.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: If they if there was one thing they could do
that you would recommend with the half of the soul
they have left, what would it be?
Speaker 4: Well, you know, they could become a premium member of
my Only Fans, or they could I could give them
a shirt and we got good Morning from Hell shirts.
Speaker 1: You have an only you have an Only fans.
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about it. Done things on there, Chris,
you don't want to know about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you got to raise campaign fun somehow.
Speaker 4: There's only there's only so many ways you can photograph
your butthole, and I think I found all of them.
Speaker 1: On that note, who's our guest for this week?
Speaker 4: Well, uh, you know, in my campaign, we've been discussing
a lot of things, you know, current events and stuff
like that. You know, we're talking about military, you know,
the economy, education, you know, education down in Hell is
very important. So I'm bringing on an old teaching friend
of mine. He's one of our top teachers here in Hell.
Come on in, mister mclin talk.
Speaker 2: You're doing in here, How you're doing? Oh if it
isn't Clayton, I haven't seen you in a millennia. Oh
my boy, Oh my boy, you're looking good and glutes nice,
them them biceps ripped rolling raider Shrek around. Oh and
those thighs they still don't quit.
Speaker 3: Oh, you still touch just as much as you used
two back into the old days.
Speaker 2: You think you know? Look you you you were built
to take it over from saying I told you from
the from the day I met you are built to
take this place over. And then at the end of
you when you get up top, just remember the little
folk that that's what That's what I've been Dellian that
that that's exactly what I've been delling you.
Speaker 3: Right, mister mcclintalk, I would never call you little. You
are massive. You're here.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know, you know you gotta you gotta
keep these kids in jet. You know, if if if
one kid gets stronger than you, that'll be enough to
take down the whole school going and die school. Yeah,
so you gotta you gotta stay ripped and ready to rip,
you know what I'm saying. That's right.
Speaker 1: So mister CLINTONK nice to me. I'm Chris. I don't
really know much about the schooling system in hell. Can
you kind of give me like an overview?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I could give you a four overruths. So here,
you know, down here, you know, we got the kids
to think. We gotta think of the kids. So it's
called heck. You know, we don't want them running around
talking all that, all this stuff, you know, but uh,
you know, we definitely are training them for you know, uh,
the eventual war against heaven and their angelic creatures. So
at all times we are keeping them in shape. Like look,
for example, you know, those those those kids who you know,
they they they real bad all the time. And you're like, dang,
you got a scar on your face. You must you
must have been doing a whole bunch of naughtiness, and
and and and and and and you you look like
Dennis to Minish and you know, look like like kids
like that. You know, we want them better than that,
because you know, these days there's too many good goody
two shoot kids, too many kids saying oh, oh, mister mcclintalk, Oh, mister,
mister mclintalk, didn't you say we had homework too? I'll
send you straight to heaven. You say some stuff like that,
you go straight, you get get the heck out of
my heck class, you go straight to heaven. You're trying
to remind me about No. No, we want kids who,
at every chances trying not to do homework every dreance.
If I don't end the class, w at least five
hundred balls of spit balls in the back of my head.
Oh you know, you know I'm gonna crush i'ma I'm
gonna crush some kids. I'm gonna crush them then re
re recombobulate them and say not be better, you know. Uh, So,
so that that's what we're trying to do. We're just
trying to build a hellish army of demon children to
to uh to build out our future armor for the
for this oncoming war against the heaving species.
Speaker 1: So what kind of courses do you teach?
Speaker 2: Oh? I mean, you know, just uh, you know, just
like your usual your usual courses that you would take
in class, like dilogy. You know, you definitely want to,
you know, figure out different ways to to kill people,
you know, uh, you know, uh, you know, break down
the ways you could kill people and which ways it
hurts the most, you know, because you can't just be
going on, I'm gonna just stab somebody who's like, well
did it hurt? Are they in everlasting pain? You know?
And then then why did you do that? You want
to go for the pain. You know, it's it's not
you know, it's not about it's not about working smarter,
uh and not harder around here. You want to, you
want to you want it to hurt harder and spots.
Yeah yeah, oh man, yeah my. You know.
Speaker 4: One of my personal favorite classes that mister mcclint talk,
you know, instructed me in was arts are like art class?
Speaker 1: What kind of art?
Speaker 3: Dark arts?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a good class. You you were a
star student in that class. You got you know you
you you know, he had a million gold pentagrams on
his wall. I gotta say, it's just it's just all
from from his name to the end of the wall.
And you know, I like to show that. You know,
some some teachers are like, oh, you don't want the
kids to feel bad that there's one student doing better
than no, No, Clayton. I had. I had a student
of the month. I have student of the month of
my class, and it was Clayton from start to finish.
And I'd have his picture painted in the blood of
people tortured and put on display at in front of
the class so people knew Clayton was the one to beat.
Speaker 4: Straight straight FS straight F. I was on the dishonoraball
every year, every year, every year. Mister mcclintok, I you
so much, you know, you were you were a huge
guiding light for me and and and you know you
can ask Chris, I mean, how am I doing, you know.
Speaker 3: With with torture, Chris?
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 3: Talk proud?
Speaker 1: I think so. I mean, every single day is worse
than the previous day.
Speaker 2: So I don't know. You you were able to put
it into words and you didn't burst into tears. I
feel like I feel like you could go a little harder.
You you're you're talking now, You're not shaking, You're you're
you're kind of very well putting together the words. So
you know, look, I'm just saying, you know, he seems
like a nice fellow, Clayton, but you know, don't be
afraid to really get getting the guts. You know what
I'm saying, getting the guts.
Speaker 3: Getting the guts, Yes, sir, I will not let you down, sir.
Speaker 2: Oh, of course, of course.
Speaker 1: So at what age I guess, do like demon start?
I mean, is it just all like are there? Is
it broken up in the grades? Or like do you graduate?
Is there elementary? Like cat?
Speaker 3: What's how does it work?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: You and you might need to edit this out because
we don't we don't need all the kids knowing this.
But the there is no set graduation really how you graduate?
And when Clayton found out this, I was very proud.
Is you just one day throw down the work I
give you, punch me square in the jaw and walk out,
and then you graduate. That's how you graduate? You know,
No no kid, no kids does Most kids don't figure
that out. You know, even the kids who watched it
happen will still sit there. And I was like, oh,
it's going to take long for you. You know, every
day I wait for the day of the riot where
all kids decide to just punch me in the face. Uh,
and the heck falls apart. But has yet to happen.
Has that day of your life?
Speaker 3: I'm sure? I mean, oh you seeing all those kids
turn on you and oh oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I cannot wait until I see the kids fashion
the bals of wood guillotine and put me in it
and shot my head right off. I cannot wait. I
cauld I just get I just start tear up thinking
about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess yeah, do you do you plan
on retiring at some point then or just no.
Speaker 2: I'm waiting for my death. Okay, I'm waiting for the
kids to kill me. Yeah, okay, So I'm I'm gonna
keep teaching till that day comes.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I guess what? What what is the testing
process in in heck? Like do y'all have like, I
don't know, standardized tests?
Speaker 2: Well, there's a light testing, you know. Mostly it's just like, uh,
you know, we we do field test. You know. One
test is uh you know, uh, we'll go to a park.
Speaker 1: This is up on earth.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, this is up on earth. Lots of times
will sub out kids. You know a lot of people
think purgatory is where you're waiting to be sorted. No,
purgatory is when you know, heaven or hell needs to
use you for any of our activities, will place you
in a waiting dimension while we borrow them. And lots
of times, uh you know, I I rent the kids out,
you know, especially you know, if it's a step mother
trying to find love, I'll find a kid, put him
in purgatory, put one of my demon kids in there.
And this is where you get you know, those those
I see what kind of creative question they asked, like, hey,
are you my new dad? Or you won't you know,
you won't find a way, you won't replace my dad,
or you know, uh do you know what do you
want to know? What happened to my my my mom's
last boyfriend? Things like that. That is usually a demon
child subbing out the normal child that is with that
single parent. So you know, that's that's how I test it.
See how see how much stress you can put on
adults while subbing out kids while they get to be
in purgatory land.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do, you know.
Speaker 4: And it's the most subtle things too, you know, when
you're up there taking the place of a child, you know,
just like sitting in a booth at a restaurant and
just and just staring you know, just staring at an
adult that's so uncomfortable and I and I know it
kills the other person.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, as a child, you just you just stare.
Speaker 2: That was Clayton's specialty. He was the he was the
one who started that, you know. Can you know every
demon child. See, here's the thing with the with the
demon magic. To you, you look the same, but but
to everyone else, you look like a normal kid. So
a lot of times, you know, the demon kids are
afraid to stare at humans because they're afraid that they
can see right through them. Not Clayton. Clayton's like, no,
I'm gonna just stare at them. I'm gonna stand at
them way too long.
Speaker 1: Ye wait, too long.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Those were some of my most fondest memories from childhood.
You know, those those field trips on up to Earth
when I was posing as a human child, and you know,
going to theme parks and you know, large department stores
and just getting lost and screaming, going to the movie theater,
throwing shit.
Speaker 3: Talking during the movie.
Speaker 2: You're real good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, great times walking in front of traffic, you know,
like bouncing my ball out into an oncoming car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and it really, it takes a lot
of work to even make those field trips happen because
you know, we have to you know, infect minds of parents,
like you know, like you may be sitting in a
movie theater at an eight PM on a Friday, watching
an R rated movie thinking what would make a parent
bring their kid to this? Well, you know, that's just
demon magic yet again, just getting those parents to make
that bad decision. You know, anytime you're out on the town,
out on the night and you see someone you know
shuffling down the street with their kid, and you're like,
it's real late and it's real weird for me to
be this drunk in front of a kid. What would
make a parent do that? Demon magic yet again?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Right there, yeah, all there.
Speaker 1: You know, so I guess you mentioned earlier about I
guess preparing for the war with Heaven. How is there
is that like gym class? Is that where you kind
of build up the physical you know?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, definitely. We're we're fighting with all types of weapons,
you know, we in all range because you know, we
were not doing that much intel in Hell, so where
we're we're really we really don't know what weapons they
may use. Against us. So so we've we've we ranged
from things like you know shima tars, you know spears
to you know M sixteen, M sixty uh you know, uh,
light machine guns. And what we do is, you know,
we put we we we infuse the bullets with demon
energy and we just have the kids, you know, shoot
at each other. It's really not gym class. It's more
like a recess because if you look, if you if
you make work play, then you never work a day.
You know. That's what that's what, that's what my what
my archer Demon always used to say.
Speaker 1: So so is uh, you know, getting all those guns
into the schools. Is that an idea you got from Earth?
Speaker 2: Uh? You know, honestly, I I truly Uh you would think, right,
you would think. But honestly, it seems that we have
a stricter gun laws here on the hell they do
on Earth because you know, they have to be checked out,
accounted for, just because we have to do inventory. There
is an impending war we have to prepare for, and
we don't want to make sure anyone gets to hurt.
You know, lots of red tape.
Speaker 1: Actually, so I guess walk me through like a typical
day I mean, is there is there like lunch cafeteria
in Heck.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know, you definitely, you definitely at the cafeteria.
You got to keep these demon kids fed. You know,
you got to keep these demon kids fed. So so
you know, essentially, you know, we we we go into
the you know, circle of Hell for gluttony. We get
we get food directly shipped from there, so these kids
are eating. Well, it is safe to say that, you know, uh,
Hell's school system is better than one insane the United States,
because we definitely want to make sure that all kids
are fed. It's all on our dime, because I mean
that would be crazy, right, Why would you expect kids
to pay for their own lunches? It would be very
insane and very cruel, I mean crueler than Hell than
to not feed kids because of something like an unpaid
uh tab or something.
Speaker 4: Can you imagine like like a lunch debt, Like you're like, hey, hey,
you can't graduate because you get a lunch debt.
Speaker 3: That's that's a while. Yeah, I sorry to dream that up.
Speaker 2: That would be that would be insane, Yeah yeah, I
mean too evil for Hell. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess as far as like transportation to
heck from Hell, like what is there is there public
transportation or or even to the overworld, like to Earth
for field trips, like how does everyone get around?
Speaker 2: The school buses are used on very rare occasions. It's
not for daily use. Usually it's if I want to,
you know, take them, uh somewhere special. So not necessarily
a school field trip, field training trip, but mostly you know,
show on the different sides of Hell, you know, you
because this is not everyone is going to be a
soldier in uh In in the Devil's army, you know.
Some some some folks are going to go off to
you know, do your normal nine to five torturing job.
Some folks are going to be working, you know, in
the kitchens of the gluttonous circle of Hell. Some folks,
you know, are going to be a sexy sucubiss uh
you know, sent to uh to you know, to to
to trick men into giving money for real world funding
for things that we do on the Earth plane. So
because of that, you know, I do like to drive
them around in the bus to see these things and
go walk through and have talks, you know, great talks.
Speaker 3: The fun thing about mister McClintock as a bus driver.
Speaker 4: He's got wicked bad sleep apnea, so like he doesn't
sleep a wink at night. So sometimes, you know, we'll
be driving, we'll just start drifting into the other lane
and then we'll be obviously mc clintalk, wake up, wake up,
you know, and then he wakes back up.
Speaker 3: It makes bus strides so much fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you know exactly, And you know, that's
just new one of my other lessons. I think, you know,
there are no mistakes, only lessons because to be honesty,
you know, you always got to be on your toes.
You always got to be in your toes.
Speaker 4: That's exactly what my mom said about me. She's like,
you know what's on. You're not a mistake, You're a lesson.
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Up on earth,
there's for kids who don't want to go to the
actual school, there's homeschooling. Is there is there a thing
like that?
Speaker 2: And heck or hell, I mean, you know, there there
are some some demons out there that think they can
teach their kids, you know, how to be a proper
how to be a proper demon without heck, and you don't, uh,
and you know, I'm not gonna be here to say
what is right, what is wrong, what's better, what's worse,
But I will say, uh, it's worse. Uh. And they
should feel bad for not supporting, you know, grassroots movements
within Hell. And I hope they burn here for the
rest of their life.
Speaker 1: Mmmmmmm.
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: Plus, the kids turn out.
Speaker 2: Weird, Yeah, very weird. They don't have the social skills,
you know, they like like they're the ones who are
like kind of bad but kind of weird. That's that's
them trying to do their own field training where they
like it's like, oh, you're not necessarily bad, You're just
being a weird kid, like you're you're digging in your
nose while staring at me. Those are those are homeschool
Hell kids. Yeah?
Speaker 4: Can you I mentione some sort of I don't know,
Hell spanning events where all kids would have to be
homeschool That would be crazy, right Oh man?
Speaker 2: Oh cool boy? That Yeah, that I would I would
regret any parent who would have to go through that,
you know, just just just dealing with the kids here.
I just imagine you know, having to do that work
yourself along with the normal work that you do. You know,
just I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It'd be weird,
like child handing you weird cups while you're trying to,
you know, record things, you know, very very very interesting.
Still don't know what this cup is for, but you
know it's maybe they want to drink of water. Maybe
I'll do that in a second. But I will say,
I will say, uh, you know, if if someone is
going through that, hold tight and true because it might
get better, might not so, might not. Yeah, I'm not
going to give any promises that I guess.
Speaker 1: I guess that makes me so. Mister McClintock, do you
have any family Yourselfers are the school kids your family?
Speaker 2: You know, I look at the school kids as my
family because when you when you're a teacher like me,
and you put so much, so much, you know, focus
and work into what you do, like me, it makes
it really hard to have any type of romantic relationship
because you know, some people clock out. I don't clock out.
I just simply don't. I don't have any desire to
clock out because I look at it this way. Any
second I can dedicate to these kids, and what we're
up to is a good second for me. And maybe
sometimes that means that I'm unable to go to your
work dinners, or maybe sometimes that means that I'm unable
to call you back, and and sometimes that that means
I'm unable to be there at your bedside, you know,
as yours, as you cry about your your your archdemon
uncle who is finally ascending an h turning into ash uh.
You know, I can't be there with you to grieve.
And you're mad at me because I was great in
papers and you haven't called me back in the past
four weeks. Well, I'm just sorry. The kids just mad
at that much to me.
Speaker 4: Mister mcclint talk used to say. You know, while he
was beating me, He's like, yeah, you're I'm gonna beat
you like my own son.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: It was you know, I had a real father son
with him, especially since I didn't know my father.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so I guess I guess behavior wise, between
the kids you talked about like how you take care
of them, But do do the kids ever act up?
Do they fight with each other or you.
Speaker 2: Know, honestly, you'd be surprised down here they don't. They don't,
And it makes me real mad because I'm like, get
in there. You why you punch? Punch them right in
the jaw. You know. Whenever there's a whenever a fight
breaks out between these kids, I like to pull up
my phone uh and scream world star h you know
and update that and you know, like a lot of it.
If you go to world Start dot com and you
see a lot of these kids fighting, that's usually me.
That's usually me holding it down. So you know it,
truly do beasts like that. Sometimes you gotta get these
kids fighting. They're not fighting enough.
Speaker 4: So mister McClintock running back to you know why you're here,
you know, tell us again. It seems like you're on
a search for substitute teachers.
Speaker 2: Is that correct? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we need substitute
teachers because a lot of people come down to Hill
and they see this teacher opportunity and they're like, oh,
so you want you want you know people who who
who are like passionate about kids and teaching. And what happened?
I was like, no, no, no, not at all. You
need to hate kids. You better hate the mess out
of kids because you have to punch a few of
them in the chest. Like I can't wait till gritty
comes down here in hell because he when I heard
he punched a right in the chest, I was like, yeah,
I need some more of that action right here, because truly,
you know, not some people see a kid and they're like, oh,
I must coddle them. I don't want to punch them
in the chest.
Speaker 4: Wrong.
Speaker 2: Wrong, punch that kid in the chest.
Speaker 3: It's very it's very important for their formative years.
Speaker 4: Oh oh my gosh, lust lust track of how many
ribs mister McClintock broke in my own chest?
Speaker 3: Gavity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, are there any qualifications that you need to
be a substitute teacher?
Speaker 2: Uh? You know, uh really no?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 2: Are you angry? Do you do you like watching kids fight?
Because I definitely need I feel like I've slowed down
on the World Star video and really would like to
pick it back up. But you know, do you like
to fight? Is there is? Do you have a problem
watching adults in pain? Which should not be a problem
if you're working down here. I'm just gonna say.
Speaker 4: One is, do you have a name that is easily
twisted into a joke that would be harmful to your
you know ego? You know, like, yeah, for example, mister Clinttock,
mister uh Nick clint Cock.
Speaker 2: You know yeah, oh yeah, that's that's how I knew
you'd be my star suit student. As soon as you
came in there and called me mister mclincock, I was like,
Oh yeah, there's gonna be the one that's gonna be
the one who really really gets it going.
Speaker 1: If any of our listeners are interested in being a
substitute teacher in Hell, I guess there's no application at all.
Huh qualifications. Honestly, it's I'm I wouldn't mind putting my
hat in the in the ring. I mean, I'm mixing
things up and just getting a break from Clayton. If
you'll have me.
Speaker 2: I feel like the kids would chew you up and
spit you out. Literally, I mean these like you know,
I've I've been calling them kids, But a lot of
these demon kids are eight feet tall. Imagine Vlotti Devoc
with spikes. That's that's that's the smallest kid of Vlotti
Devoc sized child. Do you think you could handle that?
How much do you bench press?
Speaker 1: I don't even, I don't even.
Speaker 3: I'd say one on a good day.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, oh boy.
Speaker 3: He hasn't hit two plates.
Speaker 1: Yet, I just so it's not just like putting on
a putting on a movie and and and ignoring the kids.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm really you saying you'd ignore the kids
is really getting me excited by. My problem is you
got to keep control of the class. Remember when I
explained to you what what it would mean to graduate
my school. It would take a kid punching me square
in the jaw and walking out. We'd have too many
graduations in one debut age. We'd have too many graduations.
Speaker 3: They'd run out of cap and gowns. Yeah yeah, yeah,
who whole class of kids.
Speaker 1: Well then maybe maybe maybe I maybe I'll just stick
to podcasting for now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you should.
Speaker 3: I mean, Chris, I kind of want to see where
you would go at this.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: In fact, I think, mister mcclintalk, you're on your way
to a field trip, is that right?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Actually you got the kids
waiting outside.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, they're actually hold on, let me open
up this door here. Oh yeah, whole school boasts filled
with kids. Yeah oh yeah, it looks like I didn't
roll the windows down for him.
Speaker 2: I well, you know, I'd like to keep that heat going,
you know, the demon kids. The kids need that heat.
They definitely want the heat in their bodies at all time.
Maybe they don't. I don't care. That's kind of kind
of part of being to teach. I really don't care,
but yeah, you know, definitely open that heat really get
gets spread around. One time I left have been there
for a while, they started puking. I was like, good,
you get so hot you puke. That's what I need.
Speaker 4: I think, Chris, you could, maybe, you know, kind of
try it out. You know, you could chaperone these kids
on their field trip, you know, and then see how
much they eat you, you know, eat you alive.
Speaker 3: See how that goes.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Chris, Well, I don't know. It
sounds less fun now than it did earlier. Where y'all
go on a field trip.
Speaker 2: To We're going on a field trip down to down
to the spiky parts. That's what I call. It's the
spiky part of hell, where everything is spikes. Where you walk,
it's spikes, it starts raining spikes, and and everyone is
just in immense pain at all times.
Speaker 1: You know, I thought every part of Hell was the
spiky part of This is.
Speaker 2: The spikeyest there's spikes on a spike Like have you
ever seen a cat's penis, for example, It's that. That's
what these spikes are like. It's just barbed spikes as
they fall from the skies and erect from the ground.
And we're just going to go on a two mile
hike around the spiky area with the kids, just to
let them experience it. So I think I think you'd
be great to have you along. You know.
Speaker 4: In fact, mister McLintock, I think they could even play
you know, tug of war with Chris's body, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, oh yeah, with the spikes raining down.
Oh that'd be a good yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Chris is a real hands on kind of guy, so
he all love loves kids, so yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love Yeah, this sounds great already.
Speaker 1: Oh well huh you know, maybe maybe maybe next time,
you know, here you.
Speaker 2: Go, I'll just bring you with me. Uh yeah, don't worry.
Those lots of room in the bush. Here we go.
Speaker 3: There's no resisting, mister McClintock. Chris, Yeah, he's got you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Well think nice to you again, sir.
So good to have you, oh so good to see
you again. And you make me proud every second I
look at you. Boy.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, mister mclint talk. All right, bye, Chris, bye.
Who's gonna have the podcast?
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 4: I'll handle a story about it. Okay, Well, that's been
another great episode of Good Morning from Hell. I want
to think my favorite teacher of all time, mister McClintock,
for dropping by and for taking Chris off my hands.
Speaker 3: I guess I have the day off now.
Speaker 4: So yeah, make sure you rate us highly on whatever
podcast network you're listening on. Give us like five stars,
and we could read off your review and share with
your friends so that they can also listen to this
fabulous show.
Speaker 1: All right, hell Clayton, all right, thank you Iffy Wantaway
for coming on as mister McClintock.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. It was a good time.
Speaker 4: I didn't expect you to bring like a voice or
a character, and then as soon as you started, I
was like, oh, he sounds like just like my dad.
Speaker 3: My dad's a football coach from Texas, so he's just like, oh, man,
I'm used to that, like deep Gravelly coach.
Speaker 2: Bringing back those repress memories. So if you what are
you working on these days? Man?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've been working together somewhat at Roos Teeth, but yeah, yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm hopping on the team part time.
Really excited about It's been fun. Outside of that podcast stuff,
I have a movie podcast called Who Shot You? And
then I do a nerdy podcast called Nerdificent.
Speaker 1: With iHeart And what are those podcasts about?
Speaker 2: Okay, so Nerdificent. We do nerdy deep dives into different
topics and it can range from anywhere as like super
niche as dojiny mangas which are very horny, to as
like open as we talked about like the Last Dance
because sports dudes are nerdy too.
Speaker 1: And then what was was that other one you mentioned?
Speaker 2: Oh and Who Shot You? We just yeah, we just
talk about different movies. So we've done this King of
Staten Island, and we've done multi episode series, like we
watched through all of the Fast and Furious, which is
my unironic love and pleasure. I was having a blast
going through all of those movies. But yeah, we just
bounce around to like, you know, some deep cuts, to
like some like general release fun movies.
Speaker 3: Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 4: I love like I think if I I ran into
you when we were doing Uh you did stand up
at the kind of funny thing. Oh yeah yeah, And
that's the first interaction I have with you. And you're
like the way that you talk about like nerdy stuff,
it does not at all match up with your body
type because you're like a big dude and you're just.
Speaker 3: Like, ih, we talk about manga and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's always the one two punch. People are
never ready for us, like, yeah, this, this dude built
like a jock is a hyper nerd Uh. Yeah, I
love it. I love I'm nerdy about lifting weights as
nerdy as I am about anything else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, excellent.
Speaker 4: All right, Well, if you thinks so much for having
being on where can people find you on social media?
Speaker 2: You can find me at Iffy Widdy Way. That's n
w A d i w E on Twitter and Instagram
and if d's on Twitch. If you like watch people
play video games, right, love that?
Speaker 1: All right, thanks so much,