WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:04.000 The Projection Booth podcast is sponsored by Scarecrow Video. Try 2 00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:07.240 out scarecrows Brent by mail service. Choose from over one 3 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:09.919 hundred and fifty thousand films and get Blu rays, four 4 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:14.199 k's and DVDs delivered directly to your door. Visit scarecrow 5 00:00:14.279 --> 00:00:15.240 dot com today. 6 00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:23.879 Oh g is, folks, it's showtime. 7 00:00:24.600 --> 00:00:27.239 People say, good money to see this movie. When they 8 00:00:27.239 --> 00:00:28.079 go out to a theater. 9 00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:32.119 They want clod sodas, pop popcorn, and no monsters in 10 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:33.119 the Projection Booth. 11 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:35.119 Everyone for tend. Podcasting isn't boring. 12 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.000 Got it off. 13 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:57.799 To me? 14 00:00:57.880 --> 00:00:58.320 What you like? 15 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:01.479 I like when you tell me what to do. 16 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:03.280 I know that, what else. 17 00:01:04.599 --> 00:01:05.000 I don't know? 18 00:01:05.159 --> 00:01:06.799 Can you just tell me what you want me to do. 19 00:01:07.319 --> 00:01:09.959 I'm telling you what to do right now, and you're 20 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:10.840 not doing it. 21 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:16.239 Well. 22 00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:20.959 Happy birthday, it's not my birthday. 23 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:24.519 If you're not on Spotify, you're behind the times. 24 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:30.040 I was wondering if you could have me not even 25 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:31.400 talk when I come over here. 26 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:34.560 I don't know you really like to talk. 27 00:01:37.640 --> 00:01:38.879 It might be back late tonight. 28 00:01:39.239 --> 00:01:40.599 You said you have costumes. 29 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:43.480 Yeah, oh, closet full someone you're dating. 30 00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:46.480 It's more casual than that. 31 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:51.319 I have fucked all, fuck bunny, fuck clown, and fuck pick. 32 00:01:51.799 --> 00:01:53.799 I could never ban something like that that doesn't have 33 00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:54.280 a future. 34 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:01.040 I need to show you this wonderful pink lamp that 35 00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:02.319 I found on the street. 36 00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:05.640 A salt lamp. It's like a thing for lonely people. 37 00:02:06.200 --> 00:02:08.840 You're the only one that message me, where do you 38 00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:09.879 like hanging out. 39 00:02:11.719 --> 00:02:12.000 Here? 40 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:19.680 I think people can like more than one type of relationship. 41 00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:23.719 Man and Board. 42 00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:31.039 You said everyone would have a fun time, and this 43 00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:31.759 is a fun time. 44 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:36.960 I feel like I would like to find someone to 45 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:37.280 be with. 46 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:39.039 This is very troubling. 47 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:41.599 I worry about being alone. 48 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:53.360 Oh sorry, Welcome to the Projection Booth. I'm your host, 49 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:56.000 Mike White Trumany. Once again is miss Lisa van Derver. 50 00:02:56.879 --> 00:02:58.280 Helu there, good to be back. 51 00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:02.599 Also back in the booth, mister Keith Gordon, always the 52 00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:05.879 greatest of pleasures, my friend. This week we are looking 53 00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:09.159 at the twenty twenty three film The Feeling that the 54 00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:12.960 time for doing something has passed, which I am going 55 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:16.039 to trip over every time I say it. It's from writer, 56 00:03:16.199 --> 00:03:21.599 director actress Joanna Arno, and it's hilarious. It's about a. 57 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.919 Thirty three year old woman who is looking for a 58 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.800 good relationship. She's both submissive and passive and is in 59 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:30.879 a bad spot with her current master Allan. When we 60 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:34.560 join the story, we will be spoiling this film if 61 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:37.360 it can be spoiled as we go along. You have 62 00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:40.599 been warned. So, Lisa, when was the first time you 63 00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:42.319 saw this film? And what did you think? 64 00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:47.000 This had popped up on my radar. I program for 65 00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:50.560 Sine King the Kinky Film Festival. I'd seen reference to it, 66 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:56.039 made a note of it, and then ironically, when I 67 00:03:56.080 --> 00:04:00.319 was scheduling, I realized, oh, I totally forgot about this film. 68 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:03.280 It's already been on the festival circuit. It looks like 69 00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:07.080 it has a distributor, which in the festival world usually 70 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:09.439 means that you can no longer get access to it. 71 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:14.840 So it kind of became my white whale. I will 72 00:04:14.879 --> 00:04:17.120 crop over the title every time as well too. But 73 00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:19.959 the feeling that the time to do something has passed 74 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:23.560 hit me with a lot of irony. Tried reaching out 75 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:26.720 to the distributor, wasn't having any luck and was able 76 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:31.399 to reach Joanna through Facebook. Very lovely and seeing the 77 00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:34.879 film was just like, we have to include this, you know. 78 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:37.720 We tried to hit any kind of kinky film that 79 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:43.199 comes through. But this just struck home. Having spent several 80 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:46.759 years in New York dating scene of the bdsm Ouvra 81 00:04:47.319 --> 00:04:51.199 and so many of the situations were very familiar to me, 82 00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:55.399 could sympathize with them and knew that other people, even 83 00:04:55.439 --> 00:04:58.160 though they could watch it on demand, would love the 84 00:04:58.160 --> 00:04:59.360 opportunity to see it together. 85 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:02.800 And Keith, what's your history with this film? 86 00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:06.920 Well, if I remember correctly, I think it came out 87 00:05:06.920 --> 00:05:09.800 of looking up things that Sean Baker was involved with, 88 00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:12.759 because son was an executive producer on this, and I 89 00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:15.680 find him very interesting as a filmmaker. And whenever I'm 90 00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:17.879 interested in a filmmaker's work, then I kind of often 91 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:19.879 will go on IMDb or whatever and look at, well, 92 00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:22.040 what else have they been involved in as a way 93 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:24.560 to find interesting new things. Then there was a reference 94 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:28.079 to this movie which I'd never heard of, and so 95 00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:30.519 I tracked it down. I saw it on some streaming service, 96 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:33.160 I don't remember which one, and I was splown away 97 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:34.800 by it. I thought it was amazing. I thought it 98 00:05:34.839 --> 00:05:36.240 was very funny, as you said, but I also thought 99 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:39.480 it was heartbreaking. I thought it was confusing. I mean, 100 00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:44.600 as somebody who's not really involved in submissive dominant relationships, 101 00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:47.240 at least it in a very intense way. You know, 102 00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:49.560 I had all these feelings about, Okay, well, what point 103 00:05:49.639 --> 00:05:52.920 is being humiliated a positive thing? At what point is 104 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:54.759 it a negative thing? The fact that the rest for 105 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:58.360 life is so humiliating it filled me with questions and emotion, 106 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:01.360 and it made me really curious to see her work. 107 00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:03.480 So I then track down a lot of her other pieces. 108 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:05.920 She's made some short pieces, she made a documentary feature 109 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:08.319 about her life, and they all kind of feed into this. 110 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:10.480 You and I were saying that talking about this, like 111 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:12.720 all of her earlier pieces kind of feed into this 112 00:06:12.839 --> 00:06:15.680 magnum opist in a way. And the issue she keeps 113 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:19.040 going back to with misogyny and humiliation and women's roles 114 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:22.759 and not always in these at all, and nestually this 115 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:27.839 kind of specific humiliation submission relationship. Sometimes it's about those 116 00:06:27.879 --> 00:06:31.240 elements in other parts of relationships between men and women. 117 00:06:31.759 --> 00:06:34.079 I find her body work really interesting, but it's this 118 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.920 film that I think just stands on its own, is 119 00:06:35.959 --> 00:06:39.360 a fascinatingly complicated piece. So you know, I fell in 120 00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:40.600 love with it when you brought it up that you 121 00:06:40.600 --> 00:06:42.199 were going to be doing it. I was really I 122 00:06:42.240 --> 00:06:43.759 kind of want people to know about it. It's very 123 00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:46.199 frustrating to me that I don't think I've ever mentioned 124 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:47.720 it to somebody and had them say, oh, yeah, I 125 00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:50.079 know that movie, I love it, or even I've heard 126 00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:52.959 of that movie. So I think just getting people to 127 00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.120 be aware of it's a really good thing. 128 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:55.120 Yeah. 129 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:57.519 I brought this film up to my friend Skiz, who 130 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:01.360 used to run the Microcinifest worked out the Marilyn Film Festival, 131 00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:04.680 goes out to slam Dance every year. Very plugged in 132 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:08.040 tuned in guy and he was like, oh, I've never 133 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:10.480 heard of this. I was like, wow, a you not 134 00:07:10.600 --> 00:07:14.959 too shame scuse, but it's like you, of all people, 135 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:19.040 I'm so surprised because this movie feels like something that 136 00:07:19.079 --> 00:07:22.959 he would have programmed all these years ago, because it's 137 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:28.720 got that awkwardness to it and the deadpan to it, 138 00:07:28.839 --> 00:07:31.879 Like I don't know if I've ever seen a mumblecore movie, 139 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:34.439 and I don't know if this is a mumblecore movie. 140 00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:38.759 This is something that I've not really encountered very often, 141 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:44.120 and when I do, it's it just hit me so right. 142 00:07:44.199 --> 00:07:46.439 And the first time I watched this, I just had 143 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:50.480 no idea what to think. I went out a journey 144 00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:52.759 with this movie. I started it. I'm just like, what 145 00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:57.959 is going on here? Just some of these dead panned lines, 146 00:07:58.199 --> 00:08:04.920 you know, like, well, happy. 147 00:08:04.600 --> 00:08:13.319 Birthday, it's not my birthday. 148 00:08:14.439 --> 00:08:17.560 Well, happy Memorial Day. 149 00:08:18.839 --> 00:08:22.040 You know, I don't celebrate Memorial Day. 150 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:27.639 Every line in this movie feels like it could be 151 00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:32.600 a trailer line because they're all isolated, and it almost 152 00:08:32.679 --> 00:08:36.279 feels like just the structure of this film is so interesting, 153 00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:40.480 the way that it's every scene has a little bit 154 00:08:40.519 --> 00:08:45.039 of a purpose. We start off with a deadpan line, 155 00:08:45.879 --> 00:08:48.799 and then we wait for a while, and then there's 156 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:52.480 the response, and then we wait for another little while, 157 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:55.080 and then we have the retort, and it's just it 158 00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:59.240 goes on this way for almost every single scene, and 159 00:08:59.279 --> 00:09:02.480 it just gets funnier every single time it happens. And 160 00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:06.320 you just see the absurdity of things like her job, 161 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:09.600 where her boss is talking about if. 162 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:19.799 You're not on Spotify, you're behind the times, you're behind, 163 00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:26.759 you got to keep up. People can become obsolete. That's 164 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:31.279 worth repeating. People can become obsolete. 165 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:36.759 Everything was making me laugh harder and harder and harder, 166 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:39.960 Like as this movie went along, by the end, I 167 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:41.519 was in stitches. 168 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:45.679 And yeah, the farce is in practically every scene. You know, 169 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:49.080 you have the family relationships, you have the job relationships, 170 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:52.480 then you have these scenes with Alan, the first master 171 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.919 you meet. You know, this long shot of her running 172 00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:58.480 over and having to stand against the wall and then 173 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:02.639 run back here, and my nipple and just how clumsy 174 00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:05.840 it all is, and which is kind of sex in general. 175 00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:10.279 It's just depicted so perfectly as opposed to sort of 176 00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:14.399 those glowy romantic shots we get through from so many movies. 177 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:18.360 I don't know if the camera ever moves in this film. 178 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:22.039 It feels like everything's very static, which then also adds 179 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:24.759 to it. Was kind of reminded of like New Yorker 180 00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:27.039 cartoons or something as I was watching this, like it 181 00:10:27.080 --> 00:10:29.639 feels like we're looking at a panel of a cartoon 182 00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:33.639 sometimes though she does have cuts, but it just feels 183 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:36.799 like so much of this is so static and so 184 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:41.279 matter of fact. Is there music in this movie other 185 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:43.919 than diegetic stuff. I don't think there's any sort of 186 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:46.159 like non diegetic music to this. 187 00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:49.799 I don't think there's a score. I certainly just rewatch it, 188 00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:52.159 and I don't remember any score. There's you know music 189 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:55.120 that is Yeah, there's there's source music, there's music that's 190 00:10:55.159 --> 00:10:56.879 in the story, there's music that would be playing in 191 00:10:56.879 --> 00:10:59.720 a background. But yeah, I feel like her framing is 192 00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:05.159 really interesting because it's beautifully framed without feeling self conscious. 193 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:08.159 I mean, but it is very conscious. I mean where 194 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:10.919 people are in the frame, how things are framed is 195 00:11:11.159 --> 00:11:15.559 very intentional, but not stuffy. You know, it doesn't feel 196 00:11:15.639 --> 00:11:18.200 film schooly, but it does feel like, yeah, she didn't 197 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:20.639 just put the camera somewhere. I mean, she definitely thought 198 00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:23.279 about it and what it's saying about the power relationship. 199 00:11:23.399 --> 00:11:26.720 The whole film is about dynamics and relationships, and I 200 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:29.039 feel like the camera is always aware of that, but 201 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:31.840 in a way that's lovely and that it's very effective, 202 00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:34.840 but it's not making you stop watching movie and think about, oh, 203 00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:37.080 look at that, that shot represents this or that. I mean, 204 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:39.240 you can do it if you want to get yourself 205 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:41.240 out of the movie, but it doesn't ask you to. 206 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:44.080 The thing I loved was that it didn't seem like 207 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:46.879 any other movie I could remember ever seeing. And whenever 208 00:11:46.919 --> 00:11:49.600 that can happen to me after seeing whatever ten thousand 209 00:11:49.639 --> 00:11:51.639 movies in my life, I feel like when I see 210 00:11:51.639 --> 00:11:55.679 a movie, go that's something that's its own thing. I 211 00:11:55.799 --> 00:11:59.679 find that super exciting and really interesting to me. 212 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:03.000 It tells a story, you know, it's not just these 213 00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:09.440 vignettes of absurdist things happening. As you get into the movie, 214 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:14.200 you start to see patterns where Okay, now she's with Alan, 215 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:18.080 Now she's at her job, now she's at the yoga studio, 216 00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:23.360 now she's with her mom and dad. Then repeat, and 217 00:12:23.399 --> 00:12:25.039 we just kind of go through that. I don't think 218 00:12:25.080 --> 00:12:27.360 the yoga studio gets as much, but it's just like 219 00:12:27.960 --> 00:12:31.519 seeing where she's at with these relationships. Yes, we have 220 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:35.000 these title cards that come in, and those are very 221 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:37.559 interesting because we'll talk about the blank title card towards 222 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:38.559 the end, But. 223 00:12:38.679 --> 00:12:39.200 Here we are. 224 00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:41.960 The first part is with Alan, and then she moves 225 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:45.879 to somebody else because Alan really isn't satisfying her, I 226 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:47.960 don't think, and some of the looks on her face 227 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:51.000 when he's doing things like holding her really tight and 228 00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:53.720 just being like, this is what being a submissive is, 229 00:12:54.360 --> 00:12:58.159 and she's just like just questioning everything. And that's what 230 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:00.279 it feels like. This whole movie is for me, just 231 00:13:00.360 --> 00:13:05.000 her going with the flow and trying to get some 232 00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:08.519 sort of emotional satisfaction out of these situations, and she's 233 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:11.519 not able to get anything. As far as what I feel, 234 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:15.240 it feels like she's really trying, and towards the middle 235 00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:17.840 of the movie, she's like, Okay, I'm done with this 236 00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:20.840 whole like fetish lifestyle. I'm going to go on a 237 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:25.000 quote unquote normal website and make a profile. She starts 238 00:13:25.120 --> 00:13:29.279 dating other people and then it's like, no, I really 239 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:32.559 like BDSM. I really want that out of these relationships. 240 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:35.639 So then trying to introduce her partners into that, especially 241 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:37.840 your one partner is at Chris right, trying to get 242 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:40.240 him into this, and then it's just like it just 243 00:13:40.840 --> 00:13:44.679 puts a spotlight on how silly some of this stuff is. 244 00:13:44.720 --> 00:13:48.919 I mean, this whole month, we've talked about Limage, the 245 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:51.679 story of Oh you know, now we've got this one, 246 00:13:51.679 --> 00:13:55.440 and it's just like such different representations of BDSM throughout 247 00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:58.240 this entire month. It's kind of wild in this one. 248 00:13:58.279 --> 00:14:01.279 It's like each one is about connect and this one 249 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:03.799 it feels like she just cannot make a connection. 250 00:14:04.679 --> 00:14:07.360 Well, I also feel like it's about maybe being unable 251 00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.080 to stay with a connection, because I do feel like 252 00:14:09.080 --> 00:14:13.039 with Chris, there is a connection and he does seem 253 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:16.480 to be willing to meet her halfway sexually. And that's 254 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:18.639 part of why I find the film really heartbreaking too, 255 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:22.120 because I feel like it is about somebody who it's 256 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:24.720 very sex positive and that she is whoever she is, 257 00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:28.120 but she is in relationships where she's not having a 258 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.480 lot of emotional connection, whether it's with her family, whether 259 00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:32.519 it's at work, whether and then there's a hint of 260 00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:35.240 something more, and ultimately she can't stay with that. She 261 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:37.080 has to go back to something. I mean, that end 262 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:39.759 of the film I find devastating because it's about that 263 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:43.200 she's back to being completely disconnected. And what I looked 264 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:45.240 at her earlier work, which as I say, is it 265 00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:47.919 was a documentary about an earlier relationship we had with 266 00:14:47.960 --> 00:14:50.720 a guy that was very humiliating, but he wasn't in 267 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:53.279 a sexual way. He was just an asshole who treated 268 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:55.720 her horribly, and she just kept kind of coming back 269 00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:59.759 for more. And he was this like jerky, racist, horrible guy, 270 00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:02.639 and she just keeps staying with him, and you ultimately 271 00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:06.440 feel furious with her and heartbroken by her because he's 272 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:09.440 alcoholic and he's mean and he's weird. And there are 273 00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:11.559 moments that he's nice but in that classic kind of 274 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:14.840 abusive and then way, and she makes the film about 275 00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:17.559 herself because so clearly she's aware of the issue, but 276 00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:20.480 she keeps staying so I feel like there's something about 277 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:22.679 her with a filmmaker that is dealing with something beyond 278 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:26.480 the sexual element of humiliation and really dealing with wanting 279 00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:28.639 to connect but being not feeling. I don't know if 280 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:31.080 it's that she feels she doesn't deserve connection or deserve 281 00:15:31.159 --> 00:15:34.440 to be treated well, or but there's a larger issue. 282 00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:37.279 I mean, her short film called Laying Out is a 283 00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:40.240 really interesting movie because it's like she and one other 284 00:15:40.279 --> 00:15:42.200 actress in there are two it's like six minutes, and 285 00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:46.519 there are two mermaids on a beach, and one of 286 00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:49.039 the other, one that she doesn't play, first starts talking 287 00:15:49.080 --> 00:15:51.639 about this humiliating relationships she's in with this guy who 288 00:15:51.679 --> 00:15:53.240 every time he's about to come in her mouths is, 289 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:56.000 so here comes your dinner, and that's kind of creepy. 290 00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:59.639 But then those women goes on this really misogynistic grant 291 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:01.840 about women and why she hates women, why she thinks 292 00:16:02.039 --> 00:16:04.759 women are horrible, and why she wants to have a penis, 293 00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:06.759 and then she starts talking about she wants to have 294 00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:09.080 a penis so she can hate fuck other women and 295 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:11.440 that she can push their head away while they're coming, 296 00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:14.639 while she she's coming, and it AMDs on. Joanna Arnau 297 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:17.399 is going good and you just kind of go, Okay, 298 00:16:18.679 --> 00:16:22.000 what the fuck? So clearly this is somebody who's really 299 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:27.919 working through issues about being a woman in our society 300 00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:31.519 in an interesting way and being very unafraid of being 301 00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:35.240 very bold and even disturbing. But it's not just about 302 00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:39.799 DDSM relationships. It's about like the whole placing of being 303 00:16:39.919 --> 00:16:44.039 a woman in the world in a very naked, self 304 00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:48.200 exposing way, which I find times are disturbing but really interesting. 305 00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:52.159 This time, I didn't find the ending as heartbreaking as 306 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:54.720 I did the first time, and I'm sort of opening 307 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:58.360 myself to other readings that are within the film. Like 308 00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:01.120 my memory of it was very close to when I 309 00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:02.960 was thinking of it, I could only think of the 310 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:05.720 scenes of her and Alan and how awkward those were. 311 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:10.440 But watching it again to discuss it further, seeing the 312 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:13.640 scenes where she's getting a text from Alan and her 313 00:17:13.640 --> 00:17:17.759 smirk and smile, and then the various doms she runs 314 00:17:17.799 --> 00:17:23.000 into all have their sort of tropy aspects. There's Elliott 315 00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:26.880 who has her dressed up in the pig costume, but 316 00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:30.119 he's also asking her, are we going to have to 317 00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:35.000 do after care every time? And she's like yeah, And 318 00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:38.079 you start seeing her speak up more, I think throughout 319 00:17:38.119 --> 00:17:42.000 the film where she's very passive at the start, and 320 00:17:42.039 --> 00:17:46.680 then there's the camming scene with Alan and she says, 321 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.200 I'm not just an Internet window that you can open 322 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:52.319 and close, and then he even remarks he said, that's 323 00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:55.680 a sign of a good submissuit speaking up in the moment, 324 00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:57.920 which is something he had seemed to be trying to 325 00:17:57.960 --> 00:17:59.440 get to do early on. 326 00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:02.720 Yeah, she definitely is starting to speak up a little 327 00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:06.119 bit more at work. I love the work stuff because 328 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:07.960 it so reminds me of so many jobs that I've 329 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:10.599 had in the past. One of the first times we 330 00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:13.599 see her at work, she wins an award for being 331 00:18:13.640 --> 00:18:16.599 at the job for a year, and she goes, I've 332 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:19.720 been here for like three and a half years, and 333 00:18:19.799 --> 00:18:23.200 they bring her that trophy that says one year and 334 00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:25.440 you just stay on that trophy for a while, and 335 00:18:25.480 --> 00:18:28.319 it's like, we thank you for your loyalty. 336 00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:31.920 And she's supposed to be making herself obsolete. That's the 337 00:18:31.960 --> 00:18:34.480 whole point of her job. But she fails at that. 338 00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:37.519 And she's got that whole thing. How she wants that title, 339 00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:40.240 like very specific about the title, and she's got I 340 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:43.599 think the guy's name is Carl, who's on the video screen, 341 00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:46.119 and it's not even a video screen for them, like 342 00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:49.119 it's just their pictures getting larger and smaller as they 343 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:52.440 go back and forth. And I love towards the end 344 00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:55.359 of it when she's like, yeah, I told you about 345 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:57.839 the It's like I outlined this in my email and 346 00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:00.799 I was like, ooh, that's for a work setting. That's 347 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:04.920 like major zinger. I do appreciate that she does seem 348 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:07.680 to get more and more active as she goes along, 349 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:12.400 and yeah, that's stuff with the piggy costume, especially when 350 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:16.480 she's out masturbating by the subway I think it is 351 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:21.920 by the l and talking about the sound mix of it, 352 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:26.160 you know, you get great things like her making what 353 00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:29.200 is it, like lentils or something and just squeezing those 354 00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:33.880 lopping yeah, and you hear that so loud. And then 355 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:37.240 when she's out there masturbating and she's got jingle bells 356 00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:40.480 on her wrists. It sounds like and you just hear 357 00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:43.119 the bells going as she's doing that. You don't see anything. 358 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:44.640 You just hear the bells going. 359 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.720 And then his line, you know, I want everyone on 360 00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.640 the beakue to hear what a horror you are. 361 00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:54.000 But what's interesting is too her expression in that is 362 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:59.799 frustrated and bored. Clearly she's also in the midst of going, yeah, 363 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:01.759 is this working for me? And where is it not? 364 00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:06.799 And she's always exploring that. And I do really like that, 365 00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:10.079 Like there's this questioning thing in every scene. I feel 366 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:12.960 like the character and the filmmaker is kind of going, 367 00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:15.839 do I like this? So I want this? Who am I? 368 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:19.079 How do I fit? I feel like it's just, in 369 00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:21.799 a way relentless, and I mean that is a good thing. 370 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:27.240 You know that there's an exploration constantly of Okay, maybe 371 00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:29.279 I asked for this, maybe I didn't. Maybe I volunteered 372 00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:31.200 for this, maybe I didn't. Oh that feels okay, that 373 00:20:31.240 --> 00:20:33.640 doesn't feel okay, this feels good. This work just doesn't work. 374 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:35.920 I thought this was in a way that very few 375 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:38.400 of us do in our life. She's doing it right 376 00:20:38.440 --> 00:20:42.079 on film, you know, just really questioning who am I 377 00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:44.240 and where do I fit in? And is this what 378 00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:48.799 I want? Constantly for very complicated, messy, hysterically funny relationship 379 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:51.319 with her parents, she doesn't break off from them. I 380 00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:54.279 mean they are in many ways horrible in many ways, 381 00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:56.839 and those really are her parents in the movie playing 382 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:59.559 her horrible parents, which is kind of fascinating, and in 383 00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:02.160 her documentory, you know, you see her parents and you 384 00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:04.599 feel more empathetic for them because she puts them in 385 00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:08.119 some really weird positions. She shows them sex scenes, like 386 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:11.160 explicit sex scenes that she's done as an actress, and 387 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.640 they're like, we don't want to be seeing this, and 388 00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:15.599 she's like, well you have to, and you kind of 389 00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:19.240 start going, whoa, this is kind of weird. But the 390 00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:21.799 fact is it's always complicated because she could not have 391 00:21:21.799 --> 00:21:23.519 a relationship with the parents. I mean, yes, her parents 392 00:21:23.559 --> 00:21:25.839 are difficult, but she could walk away and she doesn't. 393 00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:28.119 So clearly she's getting something from it. But I feel 394 00:21:28.119 --> 00:21:30.640 like we watch her in real time kind of going 395 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:32.519 what am I getting from this? Why am I here? 396 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:34.799 What do I want from them? What do they want 397 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:38.119 from me? And it's like sort of examining the unexamined 398 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:39.880 life if most of us go through our lives and 399 00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:43.240 our parents Trafe's crazy, but we don't stop and go, well, 400 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:46.480 why and what? And I feel like she's just constantly 401 00:21:46.519 --> 00:21:49.720