Speaker 1: Welcome, dear listener, and thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2: And I'm Stephen and this is a podcast all about
Speaker 2: the weird and wonderful world of the dark comedy anthology
Speaker 2: series Inside number nine.
Speaker 1: On each episode, we'll be diving into another one of
Speaker 1: Steve Pemberton and Reese Sheresmith's twisted tales, putting it under
Speaker 1: a lens and examining it within an inch of its life.
Speaker 2: So make yourself comfortable, grab a cup of tea and
Speaker 2: join us for the ninth degree. Hello, Hello, Hello, welcome
Speaker 2: back to a new series.
Speaker 1: Indeed, how are you? Yeah, I'm all right, replies Christmas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a thing, isn't it that we do?
Speaker 2: I saw some comedians say that it should be like
Speaker 2: the Olympics and every four years and ideally hosted a
Speaker 2: different country. I completely agree.
Speaker 1: With Yeah, I could get on board with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was yours, Okay, Yeah it was fine. Yeah
Speaker 2: it was good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Of course when people hear this at Christmas will
Speaker 1: be a long distant memory. January lasts about six months.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we hope you've missed us, dear listener, and
Speaker 1: we're back. We are series five, Series five. This is
Speaker 1: the halfway point, really, the mid series.
Speaker 2: Yeah, next episode is exactly halfway when we consider that
Speaker 2: Stage Fright was two.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, you've done the maths.
Speaker 2: I think I have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, should we reveal our hair from Stage Fright?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, because we weren't planning necessarily for it to be
Speaker 1: split into two, and then we decided to.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So there's one hair that was somewhere in either part
Speaker 1: one or part.
Speaker 2: Two, indeed, and it was kidnapp It was so the
Speaker 2: concept of this section is they have to kidnap someone
Speaker 2: and bring them to this safe house.
Speaker 1: Quite an easy one to get in there. Yeah, in fact,
Speaker 1: so easy that I wouldn't be surprised if not many
Speaker 1: people got that.
Speaker 2: Too obvious.
Speaker 1: I would you remember I was saying, you know, do
Speaker 1: we need do we need to say kid slash nap?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How you're going to pronounce it because otherwise, you know,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we've.
Speaker 2: Already got difficult enough ones to squeeze in complicate the
Speaker 2: easy ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah. AnyWho, So that was that. That was Stage Fright.
Speaker 1: It was fun doing that for un covering that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really enjoyed it. I hope you did two listeners.
Speaker 1: But we're back onto the TV show now. The cannon for.
Speaker 2: Series five, episode one. The referees a wanka he is
Speaker 2: he is? So I'll give this summary on the wiki.
Speaker 2: The beautiful Game, the crush clash between United and Rovers
Speaker 2: in the last match of the season, all safely in
Speaker 2: the care of the four match officials, a tailor, promotion, relegation, corruption,
Speaker 2: and so so much more. Wow, football, eh? Are you
Speaker 2: a football fan?
Speaker 1: Have a guess? Yeah? I love it. I love it
Speaker 1: running around from one end of a pitch to another. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's funny kicking a ball around. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was going to pretend that I'm a massive football fan,
Speaker 2: but I don't think I could even hold the joke up.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so the sentence.
Speaker 2: No, my parents are and my grandparents are, and it's yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel like the odd one out when they're talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mum is a massive Arsenal fan.
Speaker 2: Oh really, So I do get.
Speaker 1: The whole like because Arsenal have a big rivalry with
Speaker 1: Tottenham Hotspur, so I get the you know, the whole
Speaker 1: rivalry thing. Yep, people take it so seriously, really really do. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The thing that always surprises me about football people is
Speaker 2: how much they can talk about it. Like my mum
Speaker 2: will be watching some game or other and it won't
Speaker 2: be starting for another half hour, but there'll already be
Speaker 2: people on talking about it. Oh yeah, well nothing's happened,
Speaker 2: but they'll still manage to talk for an hour, half
Speaker 2: an hour whatever, yes, and say nothing but just keep going.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, how are you doing this?
Speaker 1: I know? But having said that, we do talk about
Speaker 1: a half hour of TV for an hour each week,
Speaker 1: so you know, yeah, I know what you mean. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I suppose if you're in, if you're into it and
Speaker 1: you get the nuance, then there's stuff to talk about.
Speaker 1: But for those like us, like it just goes right
Speaker 1: over my head.
Speaker 2: I guess it's their memory as well that amazes me.
Speaker 2: So you like being a pub quiz and obviously I
Speaker 2: hate the football round. Yeah, but there'll be a question
Speaker 2: on like I don't know who won the nineteen seventy
Speaker 2: six such and such Cup, and the guy will be
Speaker 2: there going, oh it was this team, it was three
Speaker 2: to one, it was rainy. Yeah, they'll know everything.
Speaker 1: It's like, how yeah, but I get I don't get
Speaker 1: it for myself, but I do. I do understand it
Speaker 1: because I'd be the same with doctor who, like I
Speaker 1: guess you know you're not Gonnam know. Maybe people do
Speaker 1: go back and rewatch old matches. I don't know. Oh
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, if you you know, I have that kind
Speaker 1: of level of fandom about Doctor Who. I can understand
Speaker 1: someone having that kind of obsession with football, but it
Speaker 1: does seem so bizarre, do isn't it?
Speaker 2: But when you consider that there's a game, well many
Speaker 2: games every week, and they seem to remember every single
Speaker 2: one of them, stretching back to when they were like six,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of Doctor Who. But I don't think
Speaker 2: there's not that many true.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, just trying to watch this and trying to
Speaker 1: make notes about it and stuff like, I just kept
Speaker 1: feeling like the the it crowd thing. I know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Grahamlin hands a dick, But yeah, I do love that
Speaker 1: that bit the whole you know, did you see that
Speaker 1: ludicrous slid last night?
Speaker 2: Yeah? The problem with whatever? They always walk it in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's it. And there's a bit where they
Speaker 1: actually go to a match and Moss is just like, oh,
Speaker 1: look he's kicked the ball. What an interesting development. That's me.
Speaker 1: When I'm sitting with my mum and she's watching football, I.
Speaker 2: Feel like we should apologize to any actual football fans out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we do apologize. Yeah. I was wondering this, what
Speaker 1: is the what is the crossover between Inside Number nine
Speaker 1: fans and football fans? I can't remember, and.
Speaker 2: It's huge, but I can't imagine it's huge, But.
Speaker 1: You never know. No, Obviously, Steve is a big football fan,
Speaker 1: but reason isn't. No, so he I feel like he
Speaker 1: kind of represents us in like someone who's completely outside
Speaker 1: of that world, and yet he still enjoyed making it
Speaker 1: and all that, you know, for the drama of it
Speaker 1: and the story. I can sort of understand that, but
Speaker 1: I still find it hard to get enthusiastic about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is weird for me. I was fully going
Speaker 2: into this expecting to slate this episode. I've only ever
Speaker 2: seen it once. When it aired, I remember being very disappointed,
Speaker 2: probably just because it was football, But I've gone back
Speaker 2: and rewatched it twice to day. I actually quite enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: M M. I thought it was all right. I don't
Speaker 2: think it's amazing, no, but I did actually quite enjoy it,
Speaker 2: which I wasn't expecting to.
Speaker 1: I agree, really, I like the comedy of it, and
Speaker 1: I like some of the drama.
Speaker 2: Of it quite high stakes, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think on a first watch, like you say,
Speaker 1: like on a first watch, I was so sort of
Speaker 1: the my new shy of the football and stuff went
Speaker 1: way over my head and so I didn't really understand
Speaker 1: the plot and the resolution. Right, Whereas having read up
Speaker 1: on it a bit and watched it again and sort
Speaker 1: of tried to concentrate a bit more, I understand what's
Speaker 1: going on. But it's Yeah, it's not bad.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think it's bad at all. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: not my favorite, but I was fully expecting to hate
Speaker 2: it a lot more from what I remembered from years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's taking place around a football match between
Speaker 1: teams called United and Rovers. Yeah, very conveniently vague.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. I even looked on his little badge because
Speaker 2: you can see the captain like you get a close
Speaker 2: put his badge it just as Rovers AFC. Yeah. I'm
Speaker 2: not even going to say the name of the town
Speaker 2: or city.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think that's quite wise really, not to
Speaker 1: get politics involved for football.
Speaker 2: It could be anyone. Yeah, speaking of which, I don't
Speaker 2: know if you noticed this when you watch player, did
Speaker 2: you get a little content warning thing pop up at
Speaker 2: the start, well, not contact.
Speaker 1: Like to say it had been edited.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I don't know what's been changed.
Speaker 1: So I researched this. Oh, okay, apparently they name dropped
Speaker 1: a real referee called Barry Crop okay in the original episode,
Speaker 1: and then this Barry Crop objected to being name dropped,
Speaker 1: so they redubbed it to Gary Robb right, And apparently
Speaker 1: it's a line that Ree says. But having watched it
Speaker 1: a couple of times, I couldn't find that.
Speaker 2: Oh is he the one that put up the wrong
Speaker 2: amount of extra time? Oh? It might be, yes, and
Speaker 2: they had to play for fifty six minutes or something
Speaker 2: extra time might be because I did google that as
Speaker 2: it happened, wondering if that was a real thing. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: and it came up with nothing, so I guessed it
Speaker 2: was made up. Yeah, but yeah, if they've changed the name,
Speaker 2: maybe it did happen, yeah, or something similar.
Speaker 1: But yeah. So we've got this three act structure pre match,
Speaker 1: halftime and then post match, which is quite good again,
Speaker 1: very theatrical.
Speaker 2: And it gives you a window of what's happened, and
Speaker 2: like you've got a piece together what's going on in
Speaker 2: these gaps.
Speaker 1: It's quite cool. Yeah, it's like those kind of stories
Speaker 1: that take place in the wings of what's going on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the main action is happening outside, but we're just
Speaker 1: seeing the little snapshots sort of on the sidelines.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like the understudy, I guess, yeah, very much
Speaker 2: like that. Actually, yeah, just a different type of changing room.
Speaker 2: M So we've got David Morrissey in this episode, yes,
Speaker 2: referee martin perfectly cast hmmm, oh yeah, it looks like
Speaker 2: such a football person.
Speaker 1: He does. He's so good and he's so like good
Speaker 1: for this like stick up your ass kind of well,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, he's so by the book, he's
Speaker 1: so you know, his face is so surly.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he's really good and how fastidious he is
Speaker 2: about everything and there with his little watchers and making
Speaker 2: sure everyone's the second.
Speaker 1: But you can also believe him as a dedicated football
Speaker 1: fan as well.
Speaker 2: It must be tricky in these things, like when you've
Speaker 2: got a referee, Like, if you're a referee, you're going
Speaker 2: to be a football fan, and therefore you're going to
Speaker 2: have a favorite team and teams you don't like, and
Speaker 2: keeping that all separate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: Obviously you're never going to referee for a team that you.
Speaker 1: Support, no, but but as we can see in this episode,
Speaker 1: it all has domino effects.
Speaker 2: Still can effect them. Yeah. Like I remember one of
Speaker 2: my secondary school Pea teachers left to become a referee
Speaker 2: in the Premiership and it was a year of a
Speaker 2: World Cup and he was all qualifiers or whatever, I
Speaker 2: don't know, and he was one of the few people
Speaker 2: that was hoping that England would get kicked out because
Speaker 2: then it might give him a chance to referee in
Speaker 2: a final. But I think that had been he wouldn't
Speaker 2: have been allowed to.
Speaker 1: Quite important that this is his last game before retirement.
Speaker 1: It's a big deal for him.
Speaker 2: And also looking like they should be retiring. Poor old
Speaker 2: Reese looks old this week. Geez the makeup to you
Speaker 2: have gone to Town?
Speaker 1: Yeah, is that a wig? Must be?
Speaker 2: I hope so?
Speaker 1: Or I'm like, what have they done to his hair?
Speaker 1: Because yeah, yeah, I love Brendan is the best character
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 2: I think it is, even if he's I feel like
Speaker 2: he's doing his witch Hinder voice again.
Speaker 1: Slightly, yes, but he's just such a little nerd like
Speaker 1: I love him in the sam seial.
Speaker 2: Which which I looked up is the inter Milan Ac
Speaker 2: Milan Home.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, I had to google.
Speaker 1: I can't expect me to know what that is. I
Speaker 1: like how it's it's revealed later on after he's been
Speaker 1: banging on about his career there that he was a
Speaker 1: backup referee for one match of like kids playing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's probably a Tuesday night no one went to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you didn't even get on the pitch. He
Speaker 1: was just there, you know. And yeah, it's it's his
Speaker 1: limelight of his life. Like but I like that when
Speaker 1: he gets called out about that and he's just response
Speaker 1: is just envy. It's nothing, but it's own art. He's
Speaker 1: a great character, funny little man. And he looks so small,
Speaker 1: doesn't he compared to all the others in this I
Speaker 1: didn't think Reese was that small.
Speaker 2: Yeah, really mousey and yeah, but yeah, it's probably one
Speaker 2: of the smallest sets they have as well, m m, well,
Speaker 2: other than maybe Lucky Chet I suppose. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 2: they're all just packed in this one little, tiny changing room.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They did a great job with the set. Apparently
Speaker 1: they did build it. It's not an actual changing room.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, they went around trying to get changing rooms,
Speaker 2: but they were all too tiny and it just wouldn't work,
Speaker 2: so they ended up having to build one. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: set dress is like, how grimy it looks. They've done
Speaker 2: a fantastic job with it. And I was watching at
Speaker 2: the end when they're sat in front of recent Fever
Speaker 2: talking and in front of tiles and they're like, there's
Speaker 2: mold in the monks, all the grout lines, like they've
Speaker 2: really spent some time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, we haven't talked about Mitch.
Speaker 2: Mitch the indeterminate animal.
Speaker 1: What would you say is well, he's obviously erodent of
Speaker 1: some sort.
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, I assumed a gopher.
Speaker 1: Yes, although what that's got to do with no idea.
Speaker 1: Gophers aren't even English, are they.
Speaker 2: No, that's what he looks like to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I probably would have said a beaver,
Speaker 1: but he doesn't have a big tail.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be the next one.
Speaker 1: Who knows. But yeah, we've got Steve Spears playing Mitch.
Speaker 1: I feel like he's he's the same and everything.
Speaker 2: He's just angry, shouty man, isn't he.
Speaker 1: Yes, the gruff Welsh accent.
Speaker 2: We haven't pointed out the fact that, other than the
Speaker 2: team captain, everyone's been in doctor him. This week.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, is there a single person apart
Speaker 1: from him.
Speaker 2: From the captain?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is there?
Speaker 2: No? Obviously, David Morrissey has as Jackson Lake. I can't
Speaker 2: what bears his name was, but he was one of
Speaker 2: the Sillotheen, wasn't he?
Speaker 1: He was the Yea, the policeman, Missus.
Speaker 2: Tyler obviously, reason Steve.
Speaker 1: And Smile, wasn't he?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: I mean you've just brought up Ralph Little, so should
Speaker 1: we open up that can of worms?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I say can of worms, just because I had to
Speaker 1: really try not to make all my notes about Ralph
Speaker 1: Little in a towel.
Speaker 2: I don't know that might be on your note list.
Speaker 1: You can't blame me, No.
Speaker 2: No, here's good. You can see the Obviously he's wanting
Speaker 2: to milk this game for everything it's worth, try and get,
Speaker 2: isn't it? Get into sky and all thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's very ambitious, clearly, but not in an underhand
Speaker 1: way like some of them.
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, I think the thing I didn't really remember
Speaker 2: about this episode as much was how funny it is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because if it had just been a straight football thing
Speaker 2: and it wasn't a comedy as well, I think it
Speaker 2: would have been a lot less interesting.
Speaker 1: Oh from my point of view, Yeah, this.
Speaker 2: Is one where they really have to lean into the comedy,
Speaker 2: I think to make it work.
Speaker 1: From what I've heard, there's so many references that if
Speaker 1: you really know football.
Speaker 2: You would get probably lands quite well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, lines and things that apparently are famous things that
Speaker 1: have been said by football people.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the stakes If United win, apparently they'll get one
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty million pounds because they'll get promoted to
Speaker 1: the Premier League or whatever it is. Yeah, and if
Speaker 1: Rovers win then they will avoid falling down into oblivion
Speaker 1: and relegation. Yeah, so it's important for both of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it is important, like genuinely will be game
Speaker 2: changing for these teams. My mum's Middlesbrough fan and they're
Speaker 2: currently in this same position. If they don't fuck up terribly,
Speaker 2: they'll get promoted, hopefully to the Premiership. So she's currently
Speaker 2: very excited. But I fully expect it what happened, because
Speaker 2: it never does and they always just give up in
Speaker 2: the last couple of months. But yeah, these people will
Speaker 2: get very obsessed about this kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a whole thing of Oh, Brendan's been in
Speaker 1: the toilet and made a smell, yes, which I hate
Speaker 1: toilet humor, but I did really like the joke when
Speaker 1: he's getting changed and he says, are those city pants, Brendon? Yeah,
Speaker 1: no clean up this morning? That did amuse me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are some great little bits of wordplay.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, so it's really it's really important for like little
Speaker 2: seeds of what happens later on. It's establishing that they're
Speaker 2: both city fans exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've also got Oggie comes in, who's just
Speaker 1: he just seems very lax about everything, completely opposite to Martin.
Speaker 2: As long as he's got access to any machine, he's happy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's into his betting and presumably has been told off
Speaker 2: for this before Martin gets very angry and shouty and
Speaker 2: sends them all out effectively as the captain turns.
Speaker 1: Up mm hmm, Calvin Cook, yes, and.
Speaker 2: We get possibly the most lackluster kiss I've ever seen
Speaker 2: on TV. Yeah, like they could have at least tried
Speaker 2: to make this look believable.
Speaker 1: They tried, they tried straight men, Yeah, presumably. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming it's intentional, but when you consider that Calvin is
Speaker 1: number nine and you know, inside number nine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, here is the nine we are inside this.
Speaker 1: Week, Well someone's inside him anyway. Well but yeah, so
Speaker 1: it turns out that they've been having a secret love affair. Indeed,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's love from Calvin's point of view,
Speaker 1: or if it's more that's what Martin is pushing on him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously we don't get much given about this relationship,
Speaker 2: but I get the impression that Calvin's just doing it
Speaker 2: hoping that ill, you know, if he gets in good
Speaker 2: with the referee, exactly kind of thing.
Speaker 1: He says, I love you, and then they get interrupted
Speaker 1: before there can be any further response. But Calvin does
Speaker 1: look a bit shocked and like a bit like he
Speaker 1: doesn't really know. Wasn't expecting that.
Speaker 2: One doesn't want to reply, Yeah exactly. Yeah, yeah, this
Speaker 2: is the only bit really remembered about the plot from
Speaker 2: the first watch, and I didn't remember it happening so
Speaker 2: early into the episode. I remember it being more of
Speaker 2: a twist at the end. So it's quite cool, and
Speaker 2: they do have twists early on. Yeah, yeah, hangover the
Speaker 2: plot for the rest of the episode.
Speaker 1: And you know there's something more coming.
Speaker 2: They must be m and obviously it is a big deal.
Speaker 2: In football, there's like no out players. Was just in
Speaker 2: fashion who came out, but that was quite a while ago,
Speaker 2: like nineteen ninety, and that did not go well, and like,
Speaker 2: I think it pretty much ruined his life. I remember,
Speaker 2: I think he committed suicide over it. So it's a
Speaker 2: big deal. I mean, I know it might not seem
Speaker 2: it towards as modern day like liberal people, but yeah,
Speaker 2: the football world is not that.
Speaker 1: No, it is full of a lot of that kind
Speaker 1: of very backward, hyper masculine, toxic masculinity.
Speaker 2: I think I feel very safe at a football game.
Speaker 1: Oh no, not at all.
Speaker 2: It's all very angry, yelly, screamy people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like this. It's incredible. It's incredibly crazy that
Speaker 1: we are in the twenty twenties and there hasn't there
Speaker 1: There aren't, you know, openly gay Premier league players.
Speaker 2: Like every profession is at least someone, but yeah, apparently
Speaker 2: not football.
Speaker 1: Well in the men's team anyway, Oh sorry, Yes, women's
Speaker 1: team is full of them, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but yeah, and in the men's Premier league.
Speaker 1: But again that is always all the patriarch, Isn't it
Speaker 1: all that bullshit? Anyway? So we skip to half time
Speaker 1: and it's one nil to rovers it is. I can't
Speaker 1: believe I'm saying this.
Speaker 2: I don't give a shit. Got the lingo right, so
Speaker 2: that's all it counts. Yeah, yeah, it's one nil and
Speaker 2: stuff's clearly been happening.
Speaker 1: People are not happy.
Speaker 2: No, there's a lot of chanting going on. Goals happened
Speaker 2: because of potentially a referee mistake. Yeah, no one. Initially
Speaker 2: no one knows it was. But then Ralph's character Phil
Speaker 2: comes in having spoken to the mascot and found out
Speaker 2: that yes, it was miles off. It shouldn't have been
Speaker 2: a throw in. So they debated on the podcast about
Speaker 2: how VR would have impacted this. Yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 2: never understand how what the debate about var is like,
Speaker 2: I know it's now a thing, but it was debated
Speaker 2: for a long time whether it should be allowed. It's like,
Speaker 2: you're going to base your decision pure on what you
Speaker 2: saw in a fraction of a second that you might
Speaker 2: not be certain about, and not to look at the
Speaker 2: HD film of it. It just made no sense to me.
Speaker 1: Classic example of oh, we've done it this way for years,
Speaker 1: so this is the way we're going to keep doing it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: even though that way would be would make so much
Speaker 1: more sense. But yeah, But the other thing that's weird
Speaker 1: is like is you know, once they've once they've made
Speaker 1: the decision and they've awarded it, they then obviously you know,
Speaker 1: they're not supposed to be looking at the footage, but
Speaker 1: if they get proof that actually it was wrong, they
Speaker 1: can't change it. It's done now, like happened. Yeah, so weird,
Speaker 1: all for a fucking game of football.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I've talked about football for this long.
Speaker 1: And one Yeah, they are one football fanst.
Speaker 2: Sorry if we lose you, is that you can skip
Speaker 2: this episode next week more regular broadcasting.
Speaker 1: Yes, And so he awarded it, I think on Ogie's
Speaker 1: advice because he was the one that supposedly saw it.
Speaker 2: Yes, it'd be on his side of his side of
Speaker 2: the pitch, so Phil will be on one side of
Speaker 2: the pitch or you would have been on the other side.
Speaker 2: How it would have worked?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Just trying to flex that I know anything.
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm impressed. And what's the pitch? Is it that
Speaker 1: big green thing?
Speaker 2: It's the big green thing. Yeah, but yeah, if the
Speaker 2: ball goes out of the big green thing, then they
Speaker 2: throw it back in again from the other team.
Speaker 1: And now explain the off side rule.
Speaker 2: Well, you've got to have at least a player between
Speaker 2: the play, you actually know, Yeah, between the last kicker
Speaker 2: and the goal, so you can't just run out ahead
Speaker 2: and yeah.
Speaker 1: Something one of those things where my mum used to
Speaker 1: watch football and I used to be there. I used
Speaker 1: to ask her to explain it and she always say, oh,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't understand, and not bother because she was too
Speaker 1: busy watching the game.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's all to do with the being some
Speaker 2: player between the person with the ball and the goalkeeper.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't actually care, it was just the I
Speaker 1: didn't think.
Speaker 2: I've had to listen to this for years from my
Speaker 2: mom's staff, making other people though, Yeah.
Speaker 1: You've just explained it, and it's already gone out of
Speaker 1: my head.
Speaker 2: That's where it should be.
Speaker 1: But yes, so we get this whole thing of in
Speaker 1: play betting and that oggie is being bribed to make
Speaker 1: this happen at a certain minute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can understand certain things that you could fix
Speaker 2: like that, but a throw in at that what if
Speaker 2: the ball were just in the middle of the pitch,
Speaker 2: like there's nothing to do, then.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you can't really guarantee it can.
Speaker 2: You know, it could be somewhere near an edge.
Speaker 1: That's a very good point.
Speaker 2: It's a very tricky one to fix on that. You
Speaker 2: could say that your giver throwing I don't know, in
Speaker 2: the first half or something, but to be that specific
Speaker 2: to a minute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how often it's going out.
Speaker 2: Not that often. But unless the bet was I know,
Speaker 2: the twenty six minute, the thirty sixth minute, the forty
Speaker 2: sixth minute, something like, and he had options. I don't
Speaker 2: know who knows, but it must be it must be
Speaker 2: very tempting, like to do something that objectively no one's
Speaker 2: going to know you did in theory if you do
Speaker 2: it properly. And I guess that's why he got caught,
Speaker 2: because he knew it had to be this minute and
Speaker 2: it was close in close ish, so he went with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it shouldn't have been Yeah, but no yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's all kicking off no pun intended. Hm hmm.
Speaker 1: Look at me, I made a football pan.
Speaker 2: With drinking paints.
Speaker 1: Next Mitch comes in really angry linesman a linesman and
Speaker 1: there's a brawl mm hmmm, which is ridiculous. For some
Speaker 1: reason reason ends up with his.
Speaker 2: Trousers down because why not.
Speaker 1: Look, I love that bit a minute later when he's
Speaker 1: just calmly explaining the rules while he's there with his
Speaker 1: hands over his lips. So funny. And yeah, Calvin's involved
Speaker 1: as well. There's violence, and Martin gives him a red card.
Speaker 2: Yeah awkward. Yeah, I mean, in Martin's defense, what else
Speaker 2: could he have done?
Speaker 1: Oh no, exactly, it had to be.
Speaker 2: I don't really feel Calvin's got a leg to stand
Speaker 2: on here, not at all. It's one thing shouting and screaming,
Speaker 2: but it's another thing actually punching a referee.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's funny that, you know how he tries to
Speaker 1: retract it and say, you know, if I meant to
Speaker 1: give him a yellow card, I could have shown him that,
Speaker 1: couldn't I. And Brendan says, no, you already booked him
Speaker 1: in the first half. But I'm surprised that he did
Speaker 1: book him in the first half because yeah, again, there
Speaker 1: must have been.
Speaker 2: A it's probably compensating, like he's gone it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mustn't let it show that I have
Speaker 1: any favoritism, so I'm gonna yeah.
Speaker 2: And also to throw off that it would be worried
Speaker 2: that people will know, and if he yellow cards and
Speaker 2: then it throws out maybe that's not well, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have really loved him, I wouldn't have yellow carded him,
Speaker 2: So that kind of thing, I guess. I don't know
Speaker 2: unless he did something. I mean, this guy clearly has
Speaker 2: a bit of a temper problem, so maybe who knows
Speaker 2: what he did on the picture that he maybe couldn't
Speaker 2: have done anything but yellow card him exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And yeah, then so Calvin Outsmartin hm very.
Speaker 2: Awkward also, like, yes, I know he's doing it to
Speaker 2: hurt him and everything in that moment, but he's also
Speaker 2: outing himself.
Speaker 1: Well, he's outing himself that he's done this stuff with him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I think it's a bit of a one like
Speaker 1: you said earlier, like it's that he's done it to
Speaker 1: get in with the referee, and like, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think Calvin's straight, and I think he's let him
Speaker 1: do things with him so that he can use it
Speaker 1: to his advantage potentially.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I suppose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that probably makes sense because he the
Speaker 1: way he says, like you've you know, you've suck the
Speaker 1: cop for the last time. Very yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I can see what you mean though, Yeah, like he's
Speaker 2: he's outing him, but in his mind he can't be
Speaker 2: outed because he's not he's not gay, not.
Speaker 1: Gay, you know, like those straight people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not gay if you do this or that,
Speaker 1: you know it's yeah. Yeah, that's that's what he comes across,
Speaker 1: like like, you know, oh, just because I let a
Speaker 1: man suck me off doesn't mean I'm gay.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And that's the SoundBite for the episode on TikTok and there,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the funniest bit, that long long pause
Speaker 1: after he says that really theatrical so awkward, and then
Speaker 1: just Brendan just put all that in the reporter.
Speaker 2: It goes on forever, but it's perfectly timed.
Speaker 1: He's not great at reading the room, no ban so
Speaker 1: Martin plans that he's going to try and even things
Speaker 1: up in the second half, and the others are a bit,
Speaker 1: oh we sure by this? Again another great line from Brendan.
Speaker 1: Murray says, are you sure your judgment hasn't been colored
Speaker 1: by Calvin? The fact that you just suck sent him off?
Speaker 1: Very good? And so yeah, that's his plan to try
Speaker 1: and try and fix things. But that's just you know,
Speaker 1: creating more problems, really, isn't it.
Speaker 2: But I can understand the idea.
Speaker 1: But especially given how he's been painted to be this
Speaker 1: so by the book, you have to do things right
Speaker 1: and then to admit that he's considering sort of fixing
Speaker 1: it a bit. But I suppose it's a difficult situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no right way to do it. Well, either
Speaker 2: he lets on and his friend loses his job and
Speaker 2: all sorts of stuff I presume, yeah happens.
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, given the way the character has
Speaker 1: been presented from the beginning of the episode, I think
Speaker 1: that is what he would have done is just sort
Speaker 1: of say, well, that was Oggie's problem.
Speaker 2: He did that tell Yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's developments to come, so m yeah. We then
Speaker 1: go to the post match, which was abandoned just before
Speaker 1: the end for carnage suspected well, suspected collusion. I was
Speaker 1: going to say that, yeah, all sorts going on.
Speaker 2: Martin, in his efforts to maintain balance, has tried to
Speaker 2: claim handball on the goalie who I don't know if
Speaker 2: you know, is allowed to use their hands and gotten
Speaker 2: a penalty to be retaken three times until they successfully
Speaker 2: got it in and the game is in massive disrepute,
Speaker 2: and yeah, it's got called off. I love that you've
Speaker 2: got it starts with Phil like going around the changing
Speaker 2: room looking a bit shady and suspicious and then doing
Speaker 2: his eyeliner.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, I forgot to mention earlier I loved that
Speaker 1: joke about linesman minele. It was the image of him
Speaker 1: crying and that they're all running down his cheeks.
Speaker 2: But I do like that joke, and I do like
Speaker 2: early when Martin refers to them as John Crawford and
Speaker 2: Bet Davis. Is it the big rivalry thing. I also
Speaker 2: don't feel like a bunch of football referees would know
Speaker 2: about nineteen thirties or whatever Hollywood drama some some matriarchs
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 1: That's a fair point. Yeah, I suppose people are more
Speaker 1: rounded than we think.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe, yeah, maybe it's massively into the golden age
Speaker 2: of Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Yeah well no, but like you know, they're of an
Speaker 1: older generation than us, and maybe they've heard family talk
Speaker 1: about don't it.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 1: I mean everyone knows who lies Iman Ellie.
Speaker 2: Was, yeah, is Yeah, I still keep being amazed that
Speaker 2: she's alive. Yeah, I feel like she died about twenty
Speaker 2: years ago.
Speaker 1: I know that's what I just like to correct myself.
Speaker 2: She's still very much alive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, we've got officials and the police as
Speaker 1: well questioning them individually. It's obviously clearly going to come out.
Speaker 2: Yep. I don't understand that. So Ogie says to Martin,
Speaker 2: will you keep my name out of this? But his
Speaker 2: argument is being that he was only trying to keep
Speaker 2: things fair, So how does he say that? How can
Speaker 2: he maintain any element of maintaining fairness if he can't
Speaker 2: say what Oggie's done?
Speaker 1: No, I think that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, unless he just says that, Unless he's just going
Speaker 2: to say that he made a mistake and like not
Speaker 2: the malice behind, not the ill intentions behind it.
Speaker 1: Could do. But yeah, I mean it's quite a nice
Speaker 1: bit there with them. You just get Stephen Reese sitting
Speaker 1: side by side, and it's like, oh, you know, because
Speaker 1: they're the two constants in the show, it's nice for
Speaker 1: them to just have a scene the two of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And Augie says that the Eastern betting syndicate that contacted
Speaker 1: him actually sounded like just one man putting a voice on,
Speaker 1: which I feel is relevant when we get the final
Speaker 1: twist later. Oh, Okay, it's wondering if maybe that one
Speaker 1: man putting a voice on was a particular man.
Speaker 2: I never considered that.
Speaker 1: Oh, I like that like him, he orchestrated the whole thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if that is the intention. I mean, it's not super clear,
Speaker 1: but I did. I did wonder.
Speaker 2: I'd never considered that. But yeah, that really works.
Speaker 1: Then he knew he'd be the most vulnerable to it.
Speaker 2: Maybe, Yeah, that he's up the rest of everything. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I still think that we're dancing around the revelation.
Speaker 2: But I feel feel like the plant would have worked
Speaker 2: either way. He still could have made all of that
Speaker 2: happen in the second Yeah, he doesn't need what he's
Speaker 2: done in the first half.
Speaker 1: No, but I think helps. It helps because it creates
Speaker 1: the whole violent dispute and everything, which which helps them
Speaker 1: get duck points. Doesn't it If they just abandoned the
Speaker 1: match because of something had gone wrong, they wouldn't necessarily
Speaker 1: get duck points. I don't think.
Speaker 2: Oh no, But if so, I guess we'd just just
Speaker 2: say it. So Martin has purposefully orchestrated all of this, yeah, too,
Speaker 2: hopefully ensure that this team loses some points that puts
Speaker 2: them just under his team City, who couldn't have otherwise
Speaker 2: had enough points for automatic promotion. So he's taken the
Speaker 2: last last thing before he retires is to make sure
Speaker 2: that his team makes it into the Premier League. But
Speaker 2: I still feel like even if what Ogi had done
Speaker 2: hadn't happened, he could have still done his whole nonsense
Speaker 2: decisions in the second half, which would have led to fights,
Speaker 2: which have led to red cards, which would have led
Speaker 2: to all the screaming and showing and match being abandoned.
Speaker 2: I just feel like, hmm, it probably helps though that
Speaker 2: the thing happened in the.
Speaker 1: First Isn't he also concerned about his reputation, isn't he
Speaker 1: so if he can pin it on Oggie and Ogi
Speaker 1: being the one that did something wrong and then he
Speaker 1: was just trying.
Speaker 2: To, if that's true, fix it. Yeah, that looks better
Speaker 2: for him. Yeah, because that was going to be my
Speaker 2: point that how if these are related, how how he
Speaker 2: knew that someone would do something? But yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he. I think he did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that has just become a little bit more evil. Hm.
Speaker 1: I can believe it that his look on his face
Speaker 1: at the end when he's on his own and he
Speaker 1: realizes his team is going to be promoted. Yeah, the passion,
Speaker 1: you know, it really means a lot to him, like
Speaker 1: that Tattoo City till I die mm hmm. I mean
Speaker 1: I don't understand it, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as if you're going to throw your whole career away.
Speaker 2: But he's got nothing else to lose at that point,
Speaker 2: like his career done, so does it matter? He's happy?
Speaker 2: Have you seen in the trivia section of the in
Speaker 2: Tantumer nine wiki that they reckon that? So the title
Speaker 2: is written as the referees a wanker with the A nk.
Speaker 1: Oh yes hashed out yeah?
Speaker 2: A is that they actually think it's winner, which I'd
Speaker 2: never consider before and I enjoy.
Speaker 1: Well. I was going to I was going to bring
Speaker 1: this up, the whole title thing, because obviously when it
Speaker 1: comes up in the title card of the episode, it's
Speaker 1: start out. And my question was going to be, is
Speaker 1: it is the title officially the referees a w star
Speaker 1: star star star er or is the title the referees
Speaker 1: a wanker? But they just can't put that on BBC.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or on the podcast thing they refer to it
Speaker 2: is yeah, So and they never went into saying that
Speaker 2: there was more to it than that, No, which I
Speaker 2: think they probably would have done. But then they never
Speaker 2: mentioned the thing that you said about Martin putting in
Speaker 2: a voice, So no, maybe not. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interpretation, really yeah, but yeah, that is a
Speaker 1: nice double meaning there, quite clever. I just it does.
Speaker 1: It's mind boggling to me that he would do all
Speaker 1: this for that. I know he says, he says earlier,
Speaker 1: I did it for love, And I think you're supposed
Speaker 1: to think he's talking about Calvin, but he's actually talking
Speaker 1: about love for his club, and the fact that he
Speaker 1: would risk his reputation and all the legal consequences for
Speaker 1: love for a club, Like it just shows like love
Speaker 1: is a stranger thing than anything else in this world,
Speaker 1: even if it is for a bloody football club.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, I mean it's not like he's, you know,
Speaker 2: just starting out and it's not a career he's that
Speaker 2: fussed about and he'll just jack it all in and
Speaker 2: go and do something else like this is this is
Speaker 2: his legacy that he's like throwing away after however many years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, very strange. That's what people who are into football
Speaker 1: are like. And I did think as well. You know,
Speaker 1: we're saying about how well cast David Morrissey was, but
Speaker 1: he's obviously very passionate about football himself. He is very
Speaker 1: funny that they had to change the whole team names
Speaker 1: around that they had in the original script because originally
Speaker 1: it would have required him to have United till I
Speaker 1: die on his back and I think he's a Liverpool
Speaker 1: fan and that would have been too much for him
Speaker 1: to have that as a temporary tattoo for one day
Speaker 1: of filming on his back. Apparently that would have made
Speaker 1: him too sick, so he had they had to change
Speaker 1: the whole thing around. Really, really call yourself an actor,
Speaker 1: I've said.
Speaker 2: Him in various things. He's murdered people in all sorts, so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he cannot have United.
Speaker 2: That they are weird of football people? Do you take
Speaker 2: it crazily serious?
Speaker 1: Weird? It's completely comes from a completely different place. But
Speaker 1: I completely agree with Mitch's thing. He says, get carried away?
Speaker 2: We do?
Speaker 1: Are we about twenty two blogs chasing the pig's bladder
Speaker 1: around the field. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we didn't mention as well the lovely jokes about you
Speaker 1: want to use the back entrance and one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty million quid right off the shitter, no offense.
Speaker 2: That wasn't in the original script, but you just changed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And thinking about it, it doesn't quite make sense because
Speaker 1: you would you would say down the shitter, yeah, or
Speaker 1: up the swanee. But he sort of merged them together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, considered that actually, and we never do
Speaker 2: find out what species he is meant to be?
Speaker 1: No, yeah, and he knows he looks like an idiot,
Speaker 1: but you do anything for your club. Oh dear, can
Speaker 1: I stop talking about football? Now? What are you going to? Am?
Speaker 2: I going to rate it? Well, this is a funny one.
Speaker 2: It was one of the ones that I remember thinking
Speaker 2: would be very low on my list, but I'm actually
Speaker 2: more impressed with it than I thought. I mean, it's
Speaker 2: nowhere near the top episodes, but it does have a
Speaker 2: decent twist. I do like that there's quite a lot
Speaker 2: of seed, soone that makes sense on a rewatch of
Speaker 2: like all these little things that he's doing. I'm tempted.
Speaker 2: Bry a five. Okay, it's very middle. I think the
Speaker 2: comedy is what is keeping it for me as well.
Speaker 2: I think if it hadn't been a funny one and
Speaker 2: they tried to do it a bit more straight then
Speaker 2: then it would have been a lot lower. But you
Speaker 2: don't really need to know a lot about football, and
Speaker 2: it's not Whilst it's very important, it's not that important
Speaker 2: at the same time. So yeah, I think I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go five.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2: How about you?
Speaker 1: I'm going to four? Just yeah, I mean similar, But
Speaker 1: I do just think for me, I found I had
Speaker 1: to concentrate so hard on something that I'm not really
Speaker 1: enthusiastic about, and it was just, you know, that's very
Speaker 1: very much a personal score. Yeah, but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's it's it's not terrible. It's it's a well written story,
Speaker 1: well created piece of TV. But just in terms of
Speaker 1: how much I enjoy it, I had to put it
Speaker 1: down a little bit.
Speaker 2: So I for yeah, I do wish I liked football,
Speaker 2: just because of how many people love it and you
Speaker 2: feel like you excluded from so many conversations and stuff.
Speaker 2: But I really just don't.
Speaker 1: No, I would rather spend the energy on other things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally anything else.
Speaker 1: Where was the hair? Then?
Speaker 2: Well they sat I had to look up. I don't know,
Speaker 2: did you spot it?
Speaker 1: I didn't know no, it was at the.
Speaker 2: Very beginning on top of the microwave. Oh right, okay,
Speaker 2: but yeah I didn't spot it. Had to google and
Speaker 2: cheat this week fair. Speaking of which, did you spot
Speaker 2: our hair?
Speaker 1: We'll let you know next week where it was before
Speaker 1: we finish. I wanted to share a quick message as well.
Speaker 1: This message came in on Instagram from Emma, who says, hello,
Speaker 1: hope you both had a lovely Christmas. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to send a wee message to say how much I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying the podcast. I'm such a huge fan of Inside
Speaker 1: Number nine and it's been so lovely to listen to
Speaker 1: a show where the hosts are clearly so passionate and genuine.
Speaker 1: I found the podcast in the run up of going
Speaker 1: to Stage Fright in Edinburgh, which I ended up going
Speaker 1: to twice because it was just the best show ever
Speaker 1: and it's been such a joy to listen to, especially
Speaker 1: knowing there's going to be episodes once the theater tour
Speaker 1: is over and the show will be kept alive for
Speaker 1: a bit longer. Keep up the amazing work, guys. I
Speaker 1: look forward to the new episodes every week. Thank you Emma,
Speaker 1: Thank you Emma.
Speaker 2: Lovely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are glad that people enjoy listening to us,
Speaker 1: even when it's about.
Speaker 2: Football, So our viewership made it for this episode. Yeah yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2: We'll be back with nonsense next week.
Speaker 1: We will yes again quite a big one. Next week
Speaker 1: we're with death. Be not proud indeed, But for now,
Speaker 1: I think it's time to close the door on number nine.
Speaker 2: Were you never really leave? Do you?
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Ninth Degree. If you'd like
Speaker 1: to get in touch, you can find us on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and TikTok at ninth Degree Pod, or email us at
Speaker 1: ninth Degree Pod at gmail dot com. You can also
Speaker 1: leave us a rating or a review wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts.