WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, Hey, and bad with.

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<v Speaker 2>Something for you to think about. What I'm gonna say.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people are gonna agree. Some people want but I

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<v Speaker 2>know it's true, and I understand.

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<v Speaker 1>People who don't want to accept it. But I know

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<v Speaker 1>it's truth.

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<v Speaker 2>Looking outward for love when you should be looking inward.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what most people in the world are doing, looking

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<v Speaker 2>outward for love. When I say outward, I mean you're

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<v Speaker 2>looking up to other people for love when you should

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<v Speaker 2>be looking inward. No one can make you happy. No

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<v Speaker 2>one can give you what you need. As I said,

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<v Speaker 2>what you need. No one can give you that joy,

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<v Speaker 2>that peace. You're the only one who can do it

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<v Speaker 2>for yourself. Outside of Jesus, outside of God, the Father,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about these natural beings. You're the only one

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<v Speaker 2>who can make you happy. Now, don't misconscrew what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not saying people cannot bring happiness into your life.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying that. But what I am saying is.

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<v Speaker 2>In order for happiness, happiness to be lasting, it has

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<v Speaker 2>to come from you.

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<v Speaker 1>It has to come from a youth.

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<v Speaker 2>You're the only one because you have to have that

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<v Speaker 2>inside of you. You have to have that happiness inside

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<v Speaker 2>of you to have that happiness inside of you.

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<v Speaker 3>It gives you peace, It gives you that joy because see,

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<v Speaker 3>when you have it for yourself, no one can take

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<v Speaker 3>it from.

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<v Speaker 1>You, no one, no one can take it from you.

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<v Speaker 2>But see what most people do is most people in

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<v Speaker 2>this world, it's a sad thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it's sad. It is sad. Most people in

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<v Speaker 1>this world.

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<v Speaker 2>Look for other individuals to make them happy. And when

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<v Speaker 2>you do that, what happens is you give power.

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<v Speaker 1>To people.

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<v Speaker 2>You give power for them to hurt you. You give

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<v Speaker 2>power for them to abuse you and to use you.

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<v Speaker 2>You give power for them to do those things to you.

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<v Speaker 2>You do.

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<v Speaker 1>And when you do that, you also give power for

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<v Speaker 1>them to hurt you.

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<v Speaker 2>Only you have the control for that, only you. If

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<v Speaker 2>you don't think you're worthy, guess what. The person you

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<v Speaker 2>seeking love from is not gonna think you're worthy either.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna give him or her that advantage.

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<v Speaker 2>To use you and abuse you because they know you

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<v Speaker 2>already think bless them yourself. They already know you'll do

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<v Speaker 2>anything for love, so they'll take advantage of you. They'll

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<v Speaker 2>use you, they'll abuse you because you have shown them

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<v Speaker 2>how you're so eager for love so you teach.

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<v Speaker 1>Them exactly how.

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<v Speaker 2>To treat you. People look outward when they definitely need

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<v Speaker 2>to look inward, because see, looking outward, what you do

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<v Speaker 2>is you end up with people who are similar as you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why so many people get into trauma bonding. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>they get into.

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<v Speaker 2>Relationships where the other person is broken and they're broken.

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<v Speaker 2>So people think, oh, because we have similar backgrounds, we've

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<v Speaker 2>gone through similar trauma or whatever. They think it makes

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<v Speaker 2>them closer, it makes them on an e Even playing

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<v Speaker 2>that is so far from the truth. So far, all

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<v Speaker 2>that does.

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<v Speaker 1>Is bring more drama and chaos into your life. When

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<v Speaker 1>you're dealing with someone who.

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<v Speaker 2>Have their own unresolved issues, it only bring trauma into

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<v Speaker 2>your life. Unfortunately, It's what a lot of people don't

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<v Speaker 2>understand because they're seeking love. They're seeking that love, they're

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<v Speaker 2>seeking that self gratification, they're seeking that validation, they're seeking

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<v Speaker 2>that support, and all of those things they're seeking in

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<v Speaker 2>their significant others. They want that instant happening. No, you

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<v Speaker 2>have to heal from your issues. You have to become

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<v Speaker 2>a better person, You have to become of a better

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<v Speaker 2>mindset before you're healed, before you can go through life

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<v Speaker 2>being a better person, because when you're looking to other people,

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<v Speaker 2>then you have to also inherit all of their issues.

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<v Speaker 2>You inherit their issues empower them on top of your

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<v Speaker 2>unresolved issues.

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<v Speaker 1>So it just weighs you down more and more and more.

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<v Speaker 2>And for many of you who don't love yourself in

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<v Speaker 2>the first place, it just makes your life worse. Let

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<v Speaker 2>me tell you how, I know many of you don't

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<v Speaker 2>love yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>You're too busy worshiping other people.

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<v Speaker 2>You spend all your time on social media trying to

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<v Speaker 2>look into the lives of what.

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<v Speaker 1>Other people doing. You give your last dime to people

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know because of the status they hold.

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<v Speaker 2>You seeking love and all the wrong places, with all

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<v Speaker 2>the wrong people, in.

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<v Speaker 1>All the wrong ways.

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<v Speaker 2>You open yourself up to people and things that are

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<v Speaker 2>no good for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Need I go on, need I go on. And one

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<v Speaker 1>of the things that hurting most people in today's world is.

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<v Speaker 2>You're looking at what society says how you should look,

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<v Speaker 2>how you should eat, how you should dress, who you

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<v Speaker 2>should love, I mean, how your skin tone should look.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you're looking at.

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<v Speaker 2>The opinion and views of other broken people, because that's

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<v Speaker 2>what make up people. People who are broken, who are evil, wicked,

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<v Speaker 2>full of of greed, full of self hate.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean so many negative things.

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<v Speaker 2>That's who you're listening to, That's who you're pattering your

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<v Speaker 2>life after.

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<v Speaker 1>Makes no sense at all. It makes no sense. It

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<v Speaker 1>really makes no sense.

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<v Speaker 2>But see, you can't see it because your eyes are

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<v Speaker 2>wide shut. You're blind because what you're looking at is

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<v Speaker 2>you want him, you want her. You don't care what

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<v Speaker 2>they're doing to you because you can't see it. You

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<v Speaker 2>can't see it. You may feel the negativity and somewhere

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<v Speaker 2>in some form, but you really can accept it because

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<v Speaker 2>your heart and mind is so focused on that individual,

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<v Speaker 2>you cannot see what they're doing to you.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't accept it as bad.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't accept it as wrong, You don't accept it

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<v Speaker 2>as negative because all you can see is being with

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<v Speaker 2>that person, wanting that person, loving that person.

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<v Speaker 1>When it's not love.

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<v Speaker 2>You just have these feelings and these emotions surrounding that person.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's not love.

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<v Speaker 2>Any negativity someone brings into your life, it is not love.

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<v Speaker 2>It's simply it's not love. People go through life believing

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<v Speaker 2>that other individuals can give.

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<v Speaker 1>Them their heart's desire.

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<v Speaker 2>All I want is someone to love me All I

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<v Speaker 2>want is to be loved. But you don't love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>Many of you think if you have children, it'll.

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<v Speaker 1>Make you better.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes people change because of their children, but most times

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<v Speaker 3>they don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Most times they don't. So I will never say that

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<v Speaker 2>it's a good.

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<v Speaker 1>Thing to have a child because you want someone to love.

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<v Speaker 2>And someone to love you. No, that's the wrong mindset

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<v Speaker 2>to have. It is completely the wrong mindset to have.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why we see these children doing so many terrible

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<v Speaker 2>things because as parents are projecting their pains onto the

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<v Speaker 2>lives of their children, are into the lives of their children.

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<v Speaker 1>Wanting someone to love.

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<v Speaker 2>You, wanting to be in a relationship. I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 2>anything is wrong with that, But what I'm saying is

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<v Speaker 2>love yourself first. Stop looking outward for love. When love

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<v Speaker 2>starts with you loving yourself. It is a must. It

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<v Speaker 2>is an absolute must. And I will tell you with

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<v Speaker 2>all certainty that people who allow individuals in their lives

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<v Speaker 2>to use and abuse them take them for granted.

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<v Speaker 1>And all those negative things. You don't love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care what you think. You do not love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You're looking for love the wrong way. Love starts with

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<v Speaker 2>you loving yourself so you can understand love, so you

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<v Speaker 2>know what loves look like.

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<v Speaker 1>Because people love.

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<v Speaker 2>To play games, They absolutely love playing games, making you

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<v Speaker 2>think one way when things are really another.

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<v Speaker 1>You believe you're in a.

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<v Speaker 2>Relationship and they haven't thought about being in a relationship

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<v Speaker 2>with you. But you think because of the things that

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<v Speaker 2>have taken place in your interactions with that individual, you

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<v Speaker 2>think that you're in a relationship, but to them, you're

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<v Speaker 2>not in a relationship. That's why I say, hey, it's

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<v Speaker 2>great to be in love, but don't be in love

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<v Speaker 2>by yourself. And a lot of people are because most

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<v Speaker 2>people are in one sided relationships, one sided marriages, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's all because you don't love yourself. It's all because

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<v Speaker 2>you're looking for love. And someone who really doesn't love

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<v Speaker 2>his or herself, a person who love his or herself,

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<v Speaker 2>they're not gonna mistreat you. They're not gonna misguide you.

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<v Speaker 2>They're not gonna use and abuse you. They're not gonna

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<v Speaker 2>disrespect you. No, they're not, because they will be mature people,

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<v Speaker 2>people who have healed.

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<v Speaker 1>From their own pains, people who have grew up mentally.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>You must love yourself and grow mentally, mentally mature. You

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<v Speaker 2>must in order to have a better life and to

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<v Speaker 2>be of a better mindset.

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<v Speaker 1>You must, you must. But unfortunately, most people have not.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a very sad thing, but most people have not.

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<v Speaker 2>Most people have not grown to that mature level. We

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<v Speaker 2>are seeing a world full of adults who have carried

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<v Speaker 2>years and years and years of pain that they should

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<v Speaker 2>have let go of long ago. That's what This world

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<v Speaker 2>is full of, a bunch of hurt people who are

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<v Speaker 2>chasing after this, chasing after that. You know what, when

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<v Speaker 2>you know in love yourself, you're not going through life

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<v Speaker 2>stepping on necks and backs and anything else to get ahead,

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<v Speaker 2>trying to get in relationship with all of these people

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<v Speaker 2>because of who they are. That's the furthest thing from

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<v Speaker 2>your mind. Because people think, oh, if I.

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<v Speaker 4>Get with him and he's in the industry or he

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<v Speaker 4>is a politician, or he is this or that, it's

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<v Speaker 4>gonna benefit you.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's what's wrong with people.

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<v Speaker 2>You shouldn't be trying to get someone else's security and

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<v Speaker 2>someone else's stack or rack or whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>They call it these days. Money.

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<v Speaker 2>You should have your own if that way, you don't

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<v Speaker 2>have to worry about people dangling things in your face

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<v Speaker 2>to make you do what they want you to do,

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<v Speaker 2>because you don't have your own love yourself, love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>When you love yourself, it alleviates the fears and the

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<v Speaker 2>insecurities that you've had.

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<v Speaker 1>It changes you.

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<v Speaker 2>And you will never ever go through life letting people

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<v Speaker 2>treat you any kind of way.

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<v Speaker 1>You never will. You never will again. It just won't.

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<v Speaker 1>You will not.

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<v Speaker 2>But until people understand, they'll keep the same cycles going.

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<v Speaker 1>Because no growth have occurred, No growth have occurred.

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<v Speaker 2>People so busy, so busy looking out with for love

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<v Speaker 2>when they need to look inward. The best relationship you

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<v Speaker 2>can and being besides God, is with yourself. Knowing yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>understanding who you are as a person.

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<v Speaker 1>That is the greatest thing.

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<v Speaker 2>You can do for yourself, becoming a better person, no

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<v Speaker 2>longer being a prisoner of your own mindset, but leaving.

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<v Speaker 1>Those negative things people said to.

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<v Speaker 2>You, defining your life by the things you've gone through.

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<v Speaker 2>Letting the men and women in your life treat you

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<v Speaker 2>any kind of You'll do none of that, none of it.

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<v Speaker 2>When you know who you are and you love yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna let go of all of that stuff you've

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<v Speaker 2>been carrying.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna let it go.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna let it go because you're gonna know it

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<v Speaker 2>don't mean that to you. It don't matter to you

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<v Speaker 2>like you thought things mattered.

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<v Speaker 1>Your life changes.

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<v Speaker 2>But you can't get to that point always seeking love

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<v Speaker 2>from someone else.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta love yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>That means healing from what else.

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<v Speaker 1>You letting it go.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, you went through what you went through, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not trying to make it seem that you.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't go through anything. You went through it.

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<v Speaker 2>But you should not allow it to destroy the rest

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<v Speaker 2>of your life. You should not allow it.

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<v Speaker 1>To destroy your opportunities.

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<v Speaker 2>You should not allow it to define who you are

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<v Speaker 2>the rest of your life. You are a disservice to yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>When you do that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what people are going through life the same way,

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<v Speaker 2>same mindset, no growth, full of negativity, don't believe that

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<v Speaker 2>they deserve better, not trying to be better, getting with

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<v Speaker 2>people who are treating them all kind of ways because

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<v Speaker 2>they know they can.

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<v Speaker 1>You're looking in the wrong places for love.

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<v Speaker 2>It's starting to be you loving you, loving that man,

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<v Speaker 2>that woman, that young person, that older person who is

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<v Speaker 2>looking back at you in that mirror.

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<v Speaker 1>Some of you even avoid mirrors.

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<v Speaker 2>You avoid mirrors because you don't want to see that

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<v Speaker 2>person staring back. That is very unhealthy, very unhealthy. You

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<v Speaker 2>have to know and love yourself and forget what society

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<v Speaker 2>is saying, because.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember that if you don't remember one thing, remember.

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<v Speaker 2>This society is full of broken people who don't have

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<v Speaker 2>themselves together, who don't love themselves. That's why they telling

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<v Speaker 2>you to bleach your skin. That's why they telling you

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<v Speaker 2>to get bigger boobs. You need a bigger butt, you

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<v Speaker 2>need a tiny waistline. You need to be this weight,

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<v Speaker 2>you need to be that weight. I mean, it's just craziness.

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<v Speaker 2>When you love yourself, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't care what they're saying.

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<v Speaker 2>You love who you see in that mirror. You have confidence,

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<v Speaker 2>You believe in yourself. You don't care although you've gone

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<v Speaker 2>through things, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't care that whatever it is, you don't care enough

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<v Speaker 1>to allow.

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<v Speaker 2>It to sabotage the rest of your life.

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<v Speaker 1>You let it go.

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<v Speaker 2>When you love yourself and that man and that woman

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<v Speaker 2>who's not treating you right, who's no good.

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<v Speaker 1>For you, you definitely will not entertain. You won't You

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<v Speaker 1>will not entertain that.

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<v Speaker 2>You will not get with a person who do not

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<v Speaker 2>enhance your life. If you with someone you're struggling and

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<v Speaker 2>they're struggling, make it make sense?

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<v Speaker 1>How is that good for you? You can't rub two

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<v Speaker 1>pennies together and they can't either.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's not all about that, because you have people

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<v Speaker 2>who have plenty of money, but they're no good for

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<v Speaker 2>each other because they're atticts, or one is an attic,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're trying so desperately to save fixing and change

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<v Speaker 2>him that you're destroying yourself. And these are people with

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<v Speaker 2>lots of money. You're getting with individuals who have five

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<v Speaker 2>and six baby mamas.

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<v Speaker 1>How is that gonna benefit you? I mean, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Gotta think about what you're doing and think about why

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<v Speaker 2>you're doing it. Why do you think that person who

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<v Speaker 2>obviously is no good for you is good for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Make it make sense, as they say, because it does not.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to think about what you're doing and what

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<v Speaker 2>you're allowing in your life.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to think about the choices that you're making.

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<v Speaker 1>You must.

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<v Speaker 2>A person who is no good for you is no

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<v Speaker 2>good for you. You can't make them any good for

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<v Speaker 2>you when they're no good for you. Stop looking for

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<v Speaker 2>love there and people when you need to be searching

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<v Speaker 2>your soul, your.

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<v Speaker 1>Own heart and mind.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to be making a change within yourself so

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<v Speaker 2>you can love yourself and so your eyes can see

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<v Speaker 2>what is.

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<v Speaker 1>Really before you.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't have time for the shenanigans of other people,

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<v Speaker 2>people with their own problems, bringing them and projecting them

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<v Speaker 2>into your life.

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<v Speaker 1>When you love yourself, you know you deserve better than that.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't entertain that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm going to end this episode leaving it right there. Listen,

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for listening. Much love. I hope everyone is

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<v Speaker 2>doing well. Please, No one can change your life but you.

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<v Speaker 2>If you don't want to, that's on you too. If

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<v Speaker 2>you want to, that's on you. But he or she

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<v Speaker 2>they're not going to be able to give you the

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<v Speaker 2>love you deserve when you don't love yourself, because you

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<v Speaker 2>will allow and accept things that you shouldn't, you will

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<v Speaker 2>teach them a very unhealthy.

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<v Speaker 1>Way to treat you. Because you're seeking, and you're desiring.

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<v Speaker 2>And you you're wanting because of all the lacking you

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<v Speaker 2>of all the because of all the insecurities in you.

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<v Speaker 2>When and when you are in that state of mind,

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<v Speaker 2>you'll go through so much hell trying to love the

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<v Speaker 2>hell out of them. Only to find yourself in hell.

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<v Speaker 2>It starts with you loving yourself. That's how love begins.

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<v Speaker 2>With you loving yourself. In that way, you can recognize

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<v Speaker 2>healthy love. Most people haven't never experienced it because they're

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<v Speaker 2>too busy seeking love with the wrong people.

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<v Speaker 1>So thank you for listening reach out to me. I

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<v Speaker 1>love hearing from you. Thank you again. I in every

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<v Speaker 1>episode the same and I hope you do it. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>on it