WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:03.680 Welcome to Back in Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. 2 00:00:03.720 --> 00:00:04.240 And Lorenzo. 3 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.679 On this episode, we're continuing our discussion about the Forbes 4 00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:10.919 article on pieces of advice that coaches would give their 5 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:12.919 younger selves. You know, we know coaching is such a 6 00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:16.839 large part of leadership, and because different organizations define it 7 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:19.280 differently and talk about, you know, what it is and 8 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:21.920 what's important to it, there are there are some leaders 9 00:00:21.960 --> 00:00:25.079 out there who they they don't know their coaching when 10 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:27.679 they are and they don't know how to coach, or 11 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:30.120 they believe it's something that it's not. And so going 12 00:00:30.120 --> 00:00:32.960 through this list of pieces of advice that coaches would 13 00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:35.479 give their younger selves, I think it helps kind of 14 00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:38.679 quantify the elements that it takes to. 15 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:39.840 Be a good coach. 16 00:00:40.280 --> 00:00:43.159 On the less episode, we talked about embracing discomfort and 17 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:46.039 about the fact that failure is an attempt at learning. 18 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:48.320 On this episode, there's a few more I want to 19 00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:50.719 go over. The first is this idea that you can 20 00:00:50.759 --> 00:00:52.920 go further with a mentor or a coach. And I 21 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:56.039 like this a lot because this is something that in 22 00:00:56.079 --> 00:01:00.960 a lot of cases, it takes experience in life and 23 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:04.319 in work. To realize that you can and if you 24 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:06.599 if you know this earlier on in your career, if 25 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:08.079 you if you know that you can go further with 26 00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:11.000 a mentor coach earlier on, it will serve you better. 27 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:13.359 And to me, what this speaks to is the importance 28 00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:17.159 of network because because mentors and coaches, it doesn't have 29 00:01:17.239 --> 00:01:22.400 to be a formalized mentor mentee, you know, formalized relationship 30 00:01:22.439 --> 00:01:25.200 where you you know, you you scheduled time with a 31 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:26.599 person every week or every month. 32 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:29.200 That's great if you can, but doesn't have to be. 33 00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:33.040 It's it's the importance of a strong network and strong 34 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:36.359 relationships with others who will open doors for you or 35 00:01:36.359 --> 00:01:37.760 help you figure out where those doos are. 36 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:39.799 Yeah, I agree with you. I think it's less about 37 00:01:39.879 --> 00:01:45.239 the maybe the structure of when you know, formality wise, 38 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:47.159 you have these calls and you have a you know, 39 00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:48.959 formal mentor and a type of thing, and it's more 40 00:01:48.959 --> 00:01:52.519 about the quality of the content and the conversation and discussion. 41 00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:56.519 I think it is good to have mentors in your 42 00:01:56.599 --> 00:01:59.519 life that that you don't work with every day, that 43 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:02.519 are not a or the organization that you're in, because 44 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:05.280 you know, it allows you to have to explain I 45 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.319 think in more depth, maybe what's going on, what the 46 00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:09.479 situations are, what are you're working through, what are you 47 00:02:09.479 --> 00:02:13.080 trying to figure out? And it allows somebody that doesn't 48 00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:15.080 have all of the day to day context to just 49 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:17.960 listen and then provide you with some perspective or some 50 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:20.560 thoughts on that. So I definitely think that there's a 51 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:23.400 you know, there's a specific need, especially as you continue 52 00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:26.240 to elevate your career you become a leader of leaders, 53 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:28.159 the leader of leader of leaders, where a lot of 54 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:33.159 what you do is messaging, is vision, it's influence. You know, 55 00:02:33.319 --> 00:02:36.639 somebody like that can be very very helpful in having 56 00:02:36.680 --> 00:02:38.560 you work through some of those things. But then to 57 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:42.719 your point, coaching and mentorship can happen every single day 58 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:45.240 by those that you surround yourself with and the peers 59 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:46.719 that you have and the people that you connect with 60 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:51.159 in your network, so long as you're intentionally using those 61 00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:54.439 relationships to help you to learn and to grow. I 62 00:02:54.439 --> 00:02:56.560 know a lot of people that have really really big 63 00:02:56.599 --> 00:02:59.919 networks and they know everybody, but they don't they just 64 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:02.280 they don't talk to them about things that they need 65 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.479 or things that are working through. They just talk to them. 66 00:03:04.680 --> 00:03:06.439 You know, it's just like let me I'm we call 67 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:08.080 some and so, hey, how's it going? How's the family? 68 00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:10.639 You know, And it's just like dialogue, how how's work? 69 00:03:10.680 --> 00:03:14.280 How you feeling? Versus Hey, Chris, Like, I'm calling and 70 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:17.639 working through something here, and I know that you probably 71 00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:20.439 have worked through something similar or I've noticed that this 72 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:23.439 is not an opportunity in your business or with your team. 73 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:26.520 So I'm calling you to ask about this specific thing. 74 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:28.599 Can you like walk me through this? What did you do? 75 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:30.840 How did you approach it? How did you get there? 76 00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:33.960 What were some things that you learned? Like that type 77 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:36.120 of intention when it comes to like when I when 78 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:40.719 I hear coaching and mentoring, I believe is needed. You 79 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:43.240 have to be the one to proactively start that dialogue 80 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:45.560 and work through that dialogue if you're looking to gain 81 00:03:45.599 --> 00:03:47.639 as much as you possibly can from the relationship and 82 00:03:47.639 --> 00:03:50.039 from your network. Right, for sure, I look at this. 83 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.879 A great analogy of this would be like think about 84 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:59.360 you know, healthcare. Right, So a lot of people they 85 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:03.400 they keep their network strong, and they go out to 86 00:04:03.479 --> 00:04:05.719 lunch periodically, and they make sure that the phone calls 87 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.159 are there and the happy birthday emails are there and 88 00:04:08.199 --> 00:04:10.759 there's a periodic check in, and they do all these 89 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:15.840 things not to be able to influence the health of 90 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:20.160 themselves and their abilities to move through problems on a 91 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:22.839 daily basis. It's just to make sure that it's there 92 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:25.360 for the catastrophic. So it's like, my network is strong, 93 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:27.199 so if I lose my job or if I want 94 00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:29.079 to quit my job, there's a stronger people I can 95 00:04:29.120 --> 00:04:31.360 reach out to help me find a new job. And 96 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:33.480 that's great to have that, But what about a strong 97 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:35.560 group of people that can help you get better at 98 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:38.519 who you are now and get better at the job 99 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:41.879 you're currently doing if you're running into issues, that would 100 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:43.720 be the kind of the healthcare tie in. So you 101 00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:46.120 do you only use your doctor when you get a 102 00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:49.319 catastrophic diagnosis or do you talk to them all the 103 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:51.639 time about what's going on about the issues that you 104 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:54.759 could be doing to make yourself better throughout to make 105 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.839 it less likely that you will have a catastrophic diagnosis. 106 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:00.000 And this is the exact same. 107 00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:03.680 So if you are if you're using your network not 108 00:05:03.959 --> 00:05:07.959 to get through the individual little problems you might be having, 109 00:05:08.199 --> 00:05:09.920 and you think you can do that part on your own, 110 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:12.519 then yeah, you might have a strong network, but you're 111 00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:15.600 not going to be making yourself better as you go 112 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:18.279 and these people can do that. And I will tell you, 113 00:05:18.319 --> 00:05:22.439 as someone who has has been on the like I've 114 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:24.600 reached out to people to help with things that have 115 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:27.800 gone on on an individual basis, not just the catastrophic 116 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:31.160 but on the daily stuff. And I didn't do that 117 00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:34.319 until it was done to me. Someone reached out to 118 00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:36.519 me and ask me for help on something. And it 119 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:39.800 wasn't just hey, I got fired, you know what can 120 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:43.079 you do? It's it's I'm working through something and you've 121 00:05:43.079 --> 00:05:45.800 worked through this before, what did you do? And that 122 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:48.399 was so it was a great call. I felt I 123 00:05:48.439 --> 00:05:53.279 felt needed. I felt like my contribution had been valued 124 00:05:53.319 --> 00:05:56.079 to this person in the past and they recognized that. 125 00:05:56.519 --> 00:06:00.199 It strengthened the relationship and it allowed that person to 126 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:02.439 get done what they needed to get done because of 127 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:04.240 the advice that I gave. And there was the kind 128 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:06.680 of like this epiphany moment for me where I was like, oh, 129 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:08.399 I could do this for me too, Like it's not 130 00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:11.160 just I can do this for other people. I think 131 00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:14.879 a lot of leaders tend to think that way. They 132 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:16.959 tend to think of the fact that that they need 133 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:19.040 to be there for others, and they don't think about 134 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:21.199 the fact that there are others who will be there 135 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:24.120 for them. And not only is it something you should 136 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:27.160 be doing, it will validate that person who if you 137 00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:30.040 believe in what their skills are, they could use some validation. 138 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:31.399 Probably that's kind of a good. 139 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:33.839 Thing to do. And it will help you get better 140 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:36.240 in the way you lead and coach other people in 141 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:38.879 the moment, So it goes both ways. You don't arrive 142 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:41.279 someplace where all of a sudden, your role as a 143 00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:43.560 leader is only in what you can give to others. 144 00:06:43.639 --> 00:06:46.920 You still need to be improving yourself, and that happens 145 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:49.199 at every single level of your career. And the moment 146 00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:52.120 you stop doing that the moment you lose a part 147 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:55.639 of even your ability to help others because you're not 148 00:06:55.839 --> 00:06:59.319 kind of strengthening that idea that says that you need 149 00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:01.839 other people. It's if you think you can do this 150 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:03.839 by yourself now that you've gotten to a certain level, 151 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:07.000 you're wrong. But you will project that onto others and 152 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:08.959 they'll be less likely to reach out to you if 153 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:10.800 they can't see you modeling that behavior in terms of 154 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:11.720 how you solve your own problems. 155 00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:14.519 Yeah, it's such a great point. You know, like you 156 00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:16.600 made me think about the role modeling aspect of this, 157 00:07:16.639 --> 00:07:19.720 because I even think many times, how often do I 158 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:22.720 use the language with with my leaders, like hey, you know, 159 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.639 I was speaking with my mentor the other day, or 160 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:27.079 you know, hey, like let me share with you something 161 00:07:27.079 --> 00:07:29.639 that I learned from one of my peers, Like like 162 00:07:29.680 --> 00:07:32.160 you know, like like so much of that is you know, 163 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:36.680 something that that that I do, But do I share 164 00:07:36.759 --> 00:07:40.240 it in a way that also role models for my 165 00:07:40.360 --> 00:07:42.240 leaders who may never see me in those spaces. 166 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:44.879 You were born with the information and you just have 167 00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:46.680 it now just from it all that. 168 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:51.480 Yes, you know I watched The Dark Crystal and yes, 169 00:07:52.040 --> 00:07:55.279 and I got all the information. Yes, yes, No, it's 170 00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:58.319 it's one of those things that I think not just 171 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:01.160 giving the advice or talking about the importance of a 172 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:06.600 coach and a mentor, but sharing those those that impact 173 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:09.839 and sharing the lessons that have been learned and how 174 00:08:09.879 --> 00:08:12.199 where you spend time, I think is a critical point 175 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:13.839 because I think that's the thing that people go, oh 176 00:08:13.879 --> 00:08:16.000 wait a minute, Chris has a mentor and a coach. 177 00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:18.079 He was just talking about like I need to do 178 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:19.680 I need to figure that out right, I need I 179 00:08:19.720 --> 00:08:22.399 need to. I need to for those that want it, 180 00:08:22.439 --> 00:08:24.240 and to your point as well, like for those that 181 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:27.480 don't want to get you know, comfortable and you know, 182 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:30.720 complacent in their roles and feel like, Okay, I finally 183 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:32.919 got the job. I do a good job at the role. 184 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:34.759 I pretty much know everything I need to know to 185 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:37.440 be successful here. You know, it could be really easy 186 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:40.480 to get pulled into that like everything is going fine 187 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:43.840 and I don't really have to push myself anymore. But 188 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:46.200 but that in fact is not the case. And if 189 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:49.639 you're looking to continue to evolve your leadership and bring 190 00:08:49.639 --> 00:08:51.720 your team along and role model that for your leaders 191 00:08:51.720 --> 00:08:53.840 you have to also be new in those things, right right. 192 00:08:53.879 --> 00:08:56.080 The next one of these pieces of advice I want 193 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:58.120 to go over kind of relates to this a little bit. 194 00:08:58.759 --> 00:09:03.320 The next one is vulnerability is a strength, and I agree, 195 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:07.279 you know that's not news. You have to be not 196 00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:14.120 just vulnerable, but visibly vulnerable, meaning you can't just know 197 00:09:14.360 --> 00:09:16.639 and have the self awareness to know that it's needed 198 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:19.440 and to know that there are shortcomings you may have 199 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:21.320 that you need to improve on, but you need to 200 00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:24.759 partner with people in that journey because the projection of 201 00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:28.879 that vulnerability is what will strengthen the relationships. 202 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:29.000 That you have with other people. 203 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:32.200 And I think that that relates right back to going 204 00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:34.120 further with a mentor or a coach, because if you 205 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:38.080 have to admit that you need one before you will 206 00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:40.440 go that route. And if you're going if you're trying 207 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:43.320 to have a mental relationship with somebody, not because you 208 00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:45.639 believe you need it, but because you're trying to think about, 209 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:48.519 you know, how can I leverage this relationship or what 210 00:09:48.519 --> 00:09:50.519 can I do to get something out of this relationship, 211 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:52.840 you're going about it the wrong way. You have to 212 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:56.639 go at it from a standpoint of humility that says 213 00:09:56.960 --> 00:09:59.399 there are things that I don't know that I want 214 00:09:59.440 --> 00:10:02.840 to know, and this person clearly does know them, so 215 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.200 I can reach out to them and try to make 216 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:09.960 that happen. Over a time, to admit that vulnerability is 217 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:14.200 a strength that ties into coaching because a person that 218 00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:18.600 you're trying to coach is not going to learn anything 219 00:10:18.639 --> 00:10:23.320 from someone who they believe is just trying to school them. Right, So, 220 00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:25.039 if you're trying to coach somebody in a way that 221 00:10:25.039 --> 00:10:26.799 says I'm here to help you try to get better, 222 00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:29.440 it doesn't mean that I think I can do your 223 00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:31.720 job the same way that you can. When we think 224 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:34.919 about it from a coaching in like professional sports, most 225 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:37.679 of the great coaches cannot do the thing that they're 226 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:40.600 coaching anymore. Maybe they could at one point, they almost 227 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:43.879 never can do them now. And if you are a 228 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:47.759 coach in business, chances are the people who you are 229 00:10:47.759 --> 00:10:51.440 coaching to get better at they know inherently the ins 230 00:10:51.480 --> 00:10:52.919 and outs of how to do that job better than 231 00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:53.679 you do, because. 232 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:55.919 You're not doing that job anymore. You're in the leadership role. 233 00:10:56.399 --> 00:10:59.440 And if they believe that you're trying to coach them 234 00:10:59.480 --> 00:11:01.679 from a stand point of you know how to do 235 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:03.840 their job better than them, so therefore you shove the 236 00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:06.720 credibility to coach them, you will lose that battle every 237 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:10.039 single time because they know inherently that you don't know 238 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:12.240 as much as they do, that you're not doing the 239 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:14.320 role every day, that you are removed from it, at 240 00:11:14.440 --> 00:11:17.720 least partially or maybe wholly remove from it, and they 241 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:19.559 can do it better. And so if you're going through 242 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:24.559 and coaching somebody, you have the strength behind you of 243 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:26.360 what the outcomes are. 244 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:27.000 And what they should be. 245 00:11:27.080 --> 00:11:29.320 So if the outcomes aren't being met, then you start 246 00:11:29.320 --> 00:11:31.519 there obviously, and then then you can at least align 247 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:35.120 on something. But to go in and say, I want 248 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:36.559 to work with you, but you got to help me too. 249 00:11:36.600 --> 00:11:39.120 I don't understand necessarily how to do every part of 250 00:11:39.159 --> 00:11:41.879 your role. So if you're running into difficulties with this 251 00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:44.320 because and the outcomes aren't there, talking about why that 252 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:48.080 might be, let the person define what's wrong, not you 253 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:50.159 saying to them the numbers aren't where they need to 254 00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:51.440 be and you need to fix it, and here's how 255 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:54.279 you're going to fix it. That's not coaching, that's prescribing. 256 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:56.679 And if the person doesn't believe you have the ability 257 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:58.519 or the authority to do that because you don't know 258 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:00.799 the role, they're not going to listen. But if they 259 00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:05.039 themselves articulate why the numbers aren't there, then now you 260 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:07.000 have a place to start with. And in order to 261 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:08.919 do that, you have to admit that you don't know 262 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:11.080 everything about what their role is and what they do, 263 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:12.519 and that takes vulnerability. 264 00:12:12.600 --> 00:12:15.960 Yeah, I was having a conversation with the leader a 265 00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:18.799 couple of weeks ago, and you know I tend to 266 00:12:19.720 --> 00:12:21.360 when I'm getting to know leaders, I tend to ask, 267 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:24.240 you know, really specific questions in different ways to better 268 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:25.799 understand kind of who they are and how they lead. 269 00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:27.440 And the question I like to ask is kind of 270 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:29.120 like if I was if I was working for you, 271 00:12:29.159 --> 00:12:31.840 if you were my leader, and I was asking that 272 00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:34.120 I wanted to understand, like what do I need to 273 00:12:34.120 --> 00:12:36.279 be as a leader to be successful under your leadership? 274 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:38.720 Like what are the three things that you need to 275 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:41.679 see for me that make me a successful person under 276 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:47.360 your leadership? And shout out to Troy. He said, vulnerability, passion, 277 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.039 and drive and you kind of walk through each one 278 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:53.120 of those three things. And you know, I stepped back 279 00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:54.679 for a second. I said, you know, Troy, I really 280 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:58.240 appreciate that you said vulnerability and not humility. And I 281 00:12:58.279 --> 00:13:02.200 was like, because vulnerability is the action that shows people 282 00:13:02.919 --> 00:13:06.039 that you are actual. You're like, you're actually humble, that 283 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:08.600 you're willing to learn, that you're open, that you don't 284 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:12.320 know everything, that that you're you're being very vulnerable with them. 285 00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:15.519 Because we don't get to assign self humility. I don't 286 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:17.039 get to say, like, Chris, I'm really humble. Right, We've 287 00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:19.480 talked about this before, right, People get to say like, oh, 288 00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:23.759 Chris is humble, right, and and so I I really 289 00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:27.159 appreciate it that ever said that the only time it's 290 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:30.879 ever been said was right now, Yes, eight seconds ago. Correct, 291 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:35.480 snippet that and put that on on social media. Yes, 292 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:38.120 but it's it was a great conversation because we talked 293 00:13:38.159 --> 00:13:40.120 a lot about vulnerability and what you were just sharing 294 00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:43.240 and and and how that is a superpower when it 295 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.600 comes to building trust and relationships, when it comes to 296 00:13:46.519 --> 00:13:50.360 to kind of human to human conversation, When when when 297 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:52.840 it helps people to relate to you as a person 298 00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:55.720 and not just assume that because you're a leader. Now 299 00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:59.679 you you have this agenda of wanting to like, you know, 300 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:02.639 all these types of things, but you know when when 301 00:14:02.679 --> 00:14:05.960 you want to help somebody or coach somebody in this 302 00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.279 context of being a coach to being able to say like, hey, 303 00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:10.120 this is a this is a two part journey here, 304 00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:13.000 like I'm here to learn too, write and and maybe 305 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:16.360 one of the best ways that I can maybe teach 306 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:19.559 before we go is like, let me try this as 307 00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:23.360 your leader, and then you give me the coaching. Mm hmm, right, 308 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:25.639 you tell me how I did, and you like, what 309 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:27.200 did I what did you see? What did you, like, 310 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:30.000 what could I, you know, have adjusted or done differently. 311 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.879 What are the things that you appreciated that might have 312 00:14:32.919 --> 00:14:34.360 been different than what you would have done, and what 313 00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:37.559 did I miss? And let's because like, this is about learning, 314 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:41.840 right and a part of my role and responsibility is 315 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:43.960 that I'm making sure that you are learning and that 316 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.000 you are developing on the things that you're focused on, 317 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.399 and that you're having as much success as you can 318 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:51.200 possibly have. But I also know that that requires both 319 00:14:51.240 --> 00:14:53.799 of us to learn something in this interaction. So not 320 00:14:53.960 --> 00:14:56.559 only do I want to make sure that I'm coaching 321 00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:59.279 you to a degree, but that I'm also sharing with you, 322 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:01.799 like what I'm learning through the coaching and what I'm 323 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:05.720 learning from you around the role, the responsibility, the expectations 324 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.480 that you have. And that's a very powerful thing. 325 00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:09.600 I agree. I don't want to get off on tangent here, 326 00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:11.759 but I'd love to know what he defined the differences 327 00:15:11.799 --> 00:15:15.080 between passion and drive, because when you said those things, 328 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:18.480 I was thinking that that you said that you liked 329 00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:21.879 that he said vulnerability and not humility, because humility is 330 00:15:21.960 --> 00:15:24.840 kind of like the byproduct of vulnerability. I would I 331 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:27.000 would say the same thing that drive is kind of 332 00:15:27.039 --> 00:15:30.480 the byproduct of passion. I mean, you can fake drive 333 00:15:30.519 --> 00:15:32.519 without passion for a short period of time, but probably 334 00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:33.000 not forever. 335 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:35.679 So what's what's what did you say? The difference was 336 00:15:36.120 --> 00:15:37.960 passion was was round, Like, you really have to love 337 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:40.120 what you do. So if you're a leader, you really 338 00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:42.519 have to love to like lead people. You have to 339 00:15:42.519 --> 00:15:45.799 have a passion for wanting to see people become successful. 340 00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:49.720 You have to have a passion for for learning, building relationships, connecting, 341 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:52.840 like you have to have a real passion for that 342 00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:55.919 piece of leadership. And then drive was more in the 343 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:58.399 context of like you want to you want to win, 344 00:15:58.679 --> 00:16:00.440 like you you want to say, like how do you 345 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:03.480 measure my work? And can I be as good as 346 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:05.639 I could possibly be? In how you measure that? Matter 347 00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:07.440 of fact? Can I be the best? And in how 348 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:09.440 you measure that? So that was kind of the context 349 00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:11.440 of those two things, which I thought was was a 350 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:13.480 great balance as well, especially like in the context of 351 00:16:13.559 --> 00:16:15.519 leading people. Yeah, no, completely agree. 352 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:20.320 So if there they feed into each other and they 353 00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:22.879 and they hold each other accountable. So if you're if 354 00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:25.480 you are driven to win and you don't have a 355 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.679 lot of passion around it, then you will end up 356 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:32.360 doing things to win that don't align with values, and 357 00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:34.320 it's a lot harder to do that. It's a lot 358 00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:38.559 harder to break a system of values in your drive 359 00:16:38.679 --> 00:16:41.840 to win if you have passion around it, because you're 360 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:43.879 not just looking at the outcomes, you're looking at the 361 00:16:43.960 --> 00:16:47.240 journey itself. The journey has to has to you know, 362 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:51.799 the journey has to give you something like almost intrinsic 363 00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:55.000 out of it to keep going. And without that passion, 364 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:57.320 if it's just the drive to win, it's fleeting like 365 00:16:57.360 --> 00:16:59.240 it's it's okay, when when's the next win? When's the 366 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:01.360 next win? When's then win? And that's how people fall 367 00:17:01.399 --> 00:17:03.960 into the trap of doing things that you know, maybe 368 00:17:05.079 --> 00:17:08.079 you know as as as bad as unethical or as 369 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.960 not or as little as just kind of not valuing 370 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:13.240 the individual employee relationship and just looking for whatever the 371 00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:16.039 outcome is and and not valuing the you know, the 372 00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:17.799 humanity of the people are putting to you. 373 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:20.160 So I like that. It's great, great definitions from from 374 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:22.480 Troy there absolutely, and with that it brings us to 375 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:24.359 this episode is one minute hack. But first, if you 376 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:25.799 work from our sponsors. 377 00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:27.799 All right, for this episode one minute Hack, here's I 378 00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:29.279 want you to do. I want you to make a 379 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:32.079 list of the people who you consider part of your 380 00:17:32.119 --> 00:17:35.799 your close network, someone who wouldn't find it weird if 381 00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:37.359 you reached out to them in a phone call or 382 00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:40.559 an email to catch up and to talk about business. 383 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.920 Write in a list of those people and write down 384 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:46.519 two or three things that you think highly of them 385 00:17:46.599 --> 00:17:50.920 for traits or leadership characteristics or things that they're good at. 386 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:52.200 Write all those things. 387 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:54.000 Down for each of those people, so you kind of 388 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:57.400 have them labeled as their there's kind of their skill set. 389 00:17:57.640 --> 00:17:59.279 I want you to go through that list and look 390 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:01.559 at those skill sets and think about the things that 391 00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:03.839 you wish you were better at, like the things that 392 00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:06.240 you kind of look at yourself as thinking, Okay, maybe 393 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:07.440 I can do that, but I want to be able 394 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:10.400 to do it better. Those are the individual leaders and 395 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.799 people in your network that can be a mentor for you, 396 00:18:13.079 --> 00:18:15.680 and you should absolutely reach out and ask them if 397 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:20.519 they will have an informal or even a formal mentor 398 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:23.079 relationship where you have scheduled time and you can reach 399 00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:24.920 out to them periodically, even if it's just you know, 400 00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:27.160 once every other month, to have an hour long or 401 00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:29.680