Speaker 1: You. I'm now listening to soft Core History. Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome back to Softcore History. I'm your host for the week.
Damna Jester joined us always by Robert Fox.
Speaker 2: What is going on now? I don't know how the
show's gonna sound yet, but I hope because it's we're
recording it. I'm I don't know how it's gonna sound
in post yet, but I hope that one Shining moment
or the CBS theme will be playing over the beginning
of this episode.
Speaker 1: Well not on YouTube, Yeah, not on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Can't do it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Certainly not on the audio either, because it's the same
as YouTube, is it. Yeah? Ah shit, I'm lazy, fair enough.
It's a quick turnaround, run shining. We got danged right there,
demonetized immediately.
Speaker 2: That's four dollars down the toilet.
Speaker 1: I'm excited for today's episode. I can's going to be
a pretty long one.
Speaker 2: I can tell you're excited.
Speaker 1: We have a guest as well. It's Got Lopez joins
the show once again.
Speaker 3: Hey guys, how's it going pleasure to be.
Speaker 1: Here straight from a paintball tournament. Didn't even stop at home?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I got I got roasted by a ten
year old. Yesterday, I was wearing my hot dog suit
and she walks up to me and she says, you
look weird, and I was like, oh, thank you. And
then she says but thumbs up for confidence.
Speaker 2: Oh god, and I was like, all right, the second
one's worse.
Speaker 3: And then like a couple hours go by, she finds
me again and she's like, where'd you get that ear ring?
And I was like, the farmer's market? And she goes,
you look like someone who goes to a farmer's market
and then just walks away. And I was like, all right, child,
what the hellas so hard?
Speaker 2: An idiot child, because obviously only the wealthy go to
a farmer's market.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, you look like you go to Aldie. That's
a good point, like a Randall's fiesta.
Speaker 2: No, Randall's is too hot. It was like a fiesta
or an Aldie. Maybe a Trader Joe when you're.
Speaker 3: Flush, Yeah, payday weekends.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've had that happen me before. Sometime I
was walking around along in hub and this little Mexican
girl and I think she was like extremely Mexican because
she said this to me in Spanish. But I understood
it because it was just one word and it was
impossible to you know, there's no language barrier for it.
She looks up at me and my dark hair and
my pasty skin, and she goes points at me. She's
with her mom points at me and goes from Piro
And I was just like, well, I was going out
later tonight.
Speaker 1: Again, another dumb bitch, because obviously a vampire wouldn't be
in the sun.
Speaker 2: It might have been nighttime. It might have been nighttime.
I think I was like going to get beer for
like a pregame.
Speaker 3: Vampires are wealthy. They live a long enough time to
get money to a crew.
Speaker 2: Well, can you imagine being a poor vampire. I was
just like, what a piece of shit?
Speaker 1: You are just generation after generation and you did not
accumulate well.
Speaker 2: No, like literally by the seventeen hundreds. You just get
a hundred bucks, put it in a savings account and
don't touch it for a while.
Speaker 1: That's kind of the story of Logan, right, He's been
around since the Civil War, still has no money.
Speaker 2: Hobo turn poor. It's pathetic.
Speaker 1: Today though, we're doing something a little different, got ourselves
a March madness bracket. Today we're gonna determine who is
the biggest piece of shit to ever live. Yep, we
got sixty four entries, No, sixty eight, sixty Oh, there's plans.
Sixty eight individuals vying for the biggest piece of shit
in human history.
Speaker 2: Let's go. I'm especially hype today just because of what happened.
We didn't stay evergreen with it, but it was a
big day in March madness. If you're listening to this
two years from.
Speaker 1: Now, let's start with the playing games. Let's come in hot, No.
Speaker 2: Hold on, we'll explain real quick the rules when you
say biggest piece of shit in human history. Just looking
up and down this bracket, it's a lot of mass murderers.
So there's I don't think like Ted Bundy's on here, right.
Speaker 1: No, I steered clear of the uh serial killers, right right?
So we also, you know, glaring emission right off the
bat didn't even really come to my mind.
Speaker 2: Jacovera, Sorry, there's enough communists on here.
Speaker 1: There's so many.
Speaker 2: Communists, it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's gonna make a lot of people angry.
Speaker 3: I'm excited because I know maybe a third of these names.
So I'm just trying to go up based off of
names alone who I don't like and maybe they're a
bigger piece of shit.
Speaker 2: I assume you have a background on the ones we do.
I probably know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have like little kind of blurbs on each individual. Yeah, perfect,
although I didn't waste my time on obviously cool. The
number one overall set is the age man. Yeah it's Hitler.
Speaker 2: So here's Adolf Hitler's key stats. Uh, maybe you should
list his stats just so we can get a lot
of comments on people. It wasn't six million, yeah, two
hundred and tewenty four thousand max.
Speaker 1: There's also a bunch of Nazis. It's hard to uh
just let the Nazis scape by.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, that's true. The with a lot of the
Nazis is that like it really was all just the
h Man at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: I feel like, no, I feel like, you know, Himmler
had a hand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hndler for sure, But I would be like his
Gebels on the list.
Speaker 1: No, his girls not on the list? What Hitler's girls
not on the list? No Gebels Gebels, Oh Goebbels is
nonmal list.
Speaker 2: Yeah, see I wouldn't. I don't think he qualifies for
top sixty four.
Speaker 1: I had a few other Nazis that we'll get to
later that I felt exceeded Gerbels. Okay. Also, we didn't
let Japan off the hook.
Speaker 2: Can't.
Speaker 1: But the number one overall seats, we'll just kind of
establish it now, and if you're watching on YouTube, I
will have graphics for the bracket. We're gonna get to
the final four, and actually we're gonna let the fans
determine the winner of this once we get to the
final four. So we'll give the four options. We'll put
a poll up and you'll get to vote who is
the biggest piece of shit in human history. I think
that's the way to go. I think we just limited
down to four people.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the final four become a bit of a
round robin, if you will. It's not a verse B,
C versus.
Speaker 1: It's just gonna be whoever gets the most votees sweet okay,
coolus personally, though, we're gonna get it down before Okay,
from sixty eight.
Speaker 2: I still want to get my pitch for who wins.
Speaker 1: Okay, number one overall seeds though, what we have Hitler,
we have Stalin, we have Genghis, don't call me Jangus
Khan and we got now. I feel like those are
very deserving one seeds.
Speaker 2: Those are solid one seeds for sure. Oh maybe we
shouldn't name the regions.
Speaker 3: That would have been really funny.
Speaker 1: So people, when I threw this idea out, was like,
you should do it region by region, but I didn't
want to limit it to oh, this is the medieval
region or this is like the modern region. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
I felt like these guys need to go hand in hand.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the reasons also women too, women on here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the regions are actually meaningless in the real tournament
for the most part.
Speaker 1: Is actually there's you know, no home court advantage for this. Yeah,
but let's go with the plane games. Let's start somewhere
you didn't expect. We are starting with Nazi Germany. Okay,
Ilsa Coke, the bitch of butch and Wald.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's making lampshades out of Jews and shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well what so? She was a notorious Nazi
war criminal who served as a guard in overseer at
the Butch and Wald concentration camp, known for her extreme cruelty,
including accusations of selecting prisoners with distinctive tattoos to be
killed with their skin used to make lamp shades and
other furniture.
Speaker 3: I'd be so fucked with my Hillary Clinton tattoo.
Speaker 2: Oh that's going on.
Speaker 3: I'd be the first one skinned alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's going on a lamp for sure. I mean
the arrow too on your arm, right, there's pretty sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The oh or the if they're a BUCkies fan,
they can get a nice BUCkies lampshade.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: She's just a big She was a big fan of
beat Her Nuggets.
Speaker 1: And she's going up against Thug Barram.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: Thug Baram was a leader of the thug Ye cult
in India and murdered up to nine hundred and thirty
one people between seventeen ninety and eighteen forty, using a
ceremonial yellow and white silk cloth to strangle victims. Baram
and his followers were worshipers of the goddess Kali, believe
in their murders and robberies were ritualistic duties, not crimes.
Speaker 2: All right, Now, what that really is is the bad
guys from Indiana, Jones and the Temple of Doom. No,
it was literally the thug Ee cult. They said, when
they're taking the hearts of Khalim Khalima. Huh, it was
a thug ee cult, that was.
Speaker 1: That was the I've actually watched.
Speaker 3: They're still around.
Speaker 2: Temple of Doom. Well, they're around in the thirties, I guess,
according to Steven Spielberg. But so yeah, it's it's a
Nazi who turns Jewish skin into lampshades and the bad
guys from templea due.
Speaker 1: Now the winner of this will face Genghis's pretty meaningless.
Speaker 2: This is a sixteen seed sixteen seeds.
Speaker 1: They're just happy to be involved, happy to make the list.
Where are we going with this, skin lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go, skin lady.
Speaker 3: I think strangling someone is like the nicest way to
do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, all right, if you're both going, skin lady,
my vote doesn't really.
Speaker 2: Matter, Okay, so I will say, well, you say the
nicest way to do it. There is actually like a
historical precedent for that argument. Back in like Roman times.
For sure, they thought it was immoral or cruel to
like stab a child to death, But if a child
needed to die, like say Cleopatra's little brother, yeah they
would they would strangle him. That was like the humane
way to kill someone, I guess or something.
Speaker 3: So hey, there we go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ilse Coch moves on. I'm sure she's not going
to make a deep no. Uh the eleven seed Andrew
Jackson verse eleven seed j Edgar Hoover figured we get
some Americans out of the way. Yeah, I just trail
it tears versus FBI. Who's worse?
Speaker 2: I can't. I don't see how Jackson doesn't win this game.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm inclined to agree. So wait, wait, Hoover started
the FBI.
Speaker 2: Edgar Hoover was just a dick. I don't even think
he's one of the sixty eight most evil people to
ever live.
Speaker 3: He's the guy that's the damn right, he's a bubble guy. Yeah. Yeah,
a lot of people died in the Hoover Damn. That's
pretty bad.
Speaker 1: Not the same guy.
Speaker 2: No, that was Herbert Hoover President. J Edgar Hoover was
the fbat guy who ran the FBI for like thirty years.
A dick certainly had people killed. And Andrew Jackson feels
like he got more bodies and in worse ways.
Speaker 1: I feel like the respectful answer is and Jackson, like
I want Andrew Jackson to make it. Yeah, not necessarily
because I believe he was worse than Jaegar Hoover, but
because I just want to tip the cap to Andrew.
Speaker 2: I actually think that JEdgar Hoover was a worse person,
but Andrew Jackson did the worst things, if that makes sense,
you know what I mean, Like JEdgar Hoover was in
some ways constrained by his times. Go drop JEdgar Hoover
into the eighteen twenties and see what JEdgar.
Speaker 1: Hoover gets up to conquering lands.
Speaker 2: He's doing way more fucked up.
Speaker 1: She's probably doing the William Walker just going to Central
and South America.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I actually do think Jaeger who was a
worse human being, but it was there were constraints on him.
You know, you gotta define. This is an era argument almost,
But I don't think Jackson.
Speaker 1: I just respect the office too much.
Speaker 2: At some point though, Like numbers matter, style matters, right,
what you actually did matters. Jaeger Hoover, like I said,
a worse person, but just wasn't able to do what
Andrew Jackson had the will to do.
Speaker 1: Like that, Well, that's because you don't wear the tinfoil
had enough, Okay on this show, I don't he was
Bager Hoover probably responsible arguably for more deaths.
Speaker 2: What in what with.
Speaker 1: The amount the FBI has done in the last century.
Speaker 2: Are these like second order third order deaths.
Speaker 1: Just trickle down effect? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, Andrew Jackson wasn't trickling Andrew Jackson was doing.
Speaker 1: I agree, I'm going with Andrew Jackson so well. PZYR
vote doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Andrew Jackson moves on. Then we got another sixteen seed,
Nathan Bedford Forrest vers a guy Rob You actually just
did an episode on for Patreon, Okay, Hieronymous corner Le's
You're gonna You're gonna have for freshman memory now. He
was part of the Dutch shipwreck the Batavia.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, I forgot his name in.
Speaker 1: West in Australia. Yeah, and he led a mutiny that
took over and became a total monster on island by
himself with like this group of two hundred people. Yep.
He essentially became king of the island and did just
the worship post slaughtered families.
Speaker 2: Became an absolute monster. Boy, it's hard to knock off
the founder of the KKK, but if you read about
the Batavia shipwreck, it I'm inclined to go with with Cornlis.
Speaker 1: Forrest made his money as a massive slave trader and
was a fairly good general for the Confederacy, but is
best known for the Fort Pillow massacre, where he executed
a bunch of black Union soldiers who surrendered, and he
was the first Grand Wizard of the KKK.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad I didn't wear my wizard hat today.
Speaker 2: I've actually changed my vote because he fucked up, Like
so part of me is like my corner of his
vote is mostly like the families he slaughtered, innocent people
he killed. But Bedford Forrest did that too, like ripping
families apart, and probably killed more people in a non like.
If he killed people in war, that's whatever, that doesn't count.
I don't care if he was on the wrong side.
He's fighting a war, that's fine. But when you're killing
surrendered soldiers because of their race and you make your
money on slave trading, yeah, I actually gotta go. I
gotta go Forest.
Speaker 1: I'm going KKK. Yeah, yep, let's just hear from you. Yeah,
you agree, I gotta go KKK. There was quite a
few of them in like Anaheim of all places. Really,
like even when I was still living there.
Speaker 2: It's Orange County, it was weird.
Speaker 3: They'd have they'd have like protests or I don't even
know if they're protesting or just partying at the parks.
But then you know, a bunch of Mexicans show up
and they beat the shit out of each other. And
there's this photo of a guy with I think just
like a Confederate flag, like on a flagpole, stabbing one
of the guys that was trying to fight him with
the flagpole, and it made like O C Weekly or
whatever newspaper at the time.
Speaker 2: Oh so he did the mel Gibson and the Patriot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he did that with like a clan flag or
it was fucking wild, dude. And that was like a
mile from my house.
Speaker 2: It's like the I want to see that photo because
I want to see what the exact opposite of Mount
Serabaci looks like.
Speaker 3: I'll find that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then we got a final playing game for the
eleven Seed between robes Pierre and Francisco Franco. Now robes
Pierre oversaw the arrest of over three hundred thousand suspects
and executed roughly seventeen thousand enemies of the French Revolution
whoa thankfully he met the end they did.
Speaker 2: Yep uh yeah. I By the way, I saw a
funny thing. I guess. They were like, no Kings protests
this weekend, and I saw some chick dressed as Marie Antoinette,
and she said, they want to do nineteen thirty nine,
Let's make it seventeen eighty nine, which I just saw that,
and I was like, so, what you want is not
a fascist to take and try to conquer the world,
but instead, what you want is a fascist to take
power and try to conquer the world, which was the
end result of the French Revolution.
Speaker 1: Let the meat cake.
Speaker 2: So people are so goddamn stupid that I fucking hate everyone.
But anyway, there's no Robespierre might be one of my
top five personal most hated.
Speaker 1: Adam and Mount Rushmore.
Speaker 2: No, because that Mount Rushmore was the Mount Rushmore of
people that are absurd that I hate. The Robespierre deserves
every balance of it. Yeah, I don't care wrote It's
robes Pierre for me.
Speaker 1: One of my least favorite characters in history as well.
Speaker 2: He is such a bitch and an, I mean he is,
I fucking hate rose Pierre.
Speaker 1: Francisco Franco led a military coup against the democratically elected
Second Republic in Spain, resulting in a three year war
aided by the Nazis in Italy. He executed and in
prison tens of thousands of suspected political opponents. So I
think it's pretty easy for me rose Pierre most.
Speaker 3: On, Yeah, I'd say so, just because he's French.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, fuck him? And uh yeah, let's get to
the real tournament. Those were the playing games. So we
got rose Pierre's an eleven seed, we got Nathan Bedford.
Forrest takes the sixteen Jackson with an eleven seed and
ilsa coke. The bitch of butcher Laude it takes the
other sixteen seed. Let's get to the top of the bracket.
Where else do we start? The h Man Adolf Hitler
your favorite artist? Favorite artists?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I almost said like Big Age, but that would
sound so bad.
Speaker 1: The one guy in history, everyone knows.
Speaker 2: The one, the one. It's Hitler and Jesus, which is
almost kind of perfect.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately Jesus didn't make the list.
Speaker 2: Well why would he?
Speaker 1: And Honestly, I was too big of a bitch put
Muhammad on didn't want that.
Speaker 3: Spoke, I understand.
Speaker 1: Versus the sixteen we don't need it, No, we don't.
We don't need that kind of publicity.
Speaker 2: There's other buzzles on here.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of Muslims on here. We don't need to
go at the Muslim verse the sixteen seed. Jim Jones
obviously the People's Temple, nine and nine people died at
his paradise pretty sweet up until the mass suicide.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but it included kids and everything. But obviously,
I mean, what are we talking about.
Speaker 1: You're just playing basketball. Yeah, it's a one versus sixteen. Yeah,
we're not having a you know, Virginia losing in the
first round.
Speaker 2: There's no UNBC in this tournament that I'm aware of.
Speaker 1: Hitler moves on, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we got
Torquemda versus Tiberius in the eight nine matchup. Torqumda was
a Spanish Dominican friar and the first Grand Inquisitor of
the Spanish Inquisition. He expelled forty thousand Jews from Spanish.
For some of you at home, might be a positive.
Speaker 2: A lot of funny things were happening in fourteen ninety two.
Speaker 3: Was it a bunch of Jews that founded the Americas?
Is that what you're saying, Well, we.
Speaker 1: Did an episode. Columbus might have been Andrew.
Speaker 2: We Yeah, he might have been a Jew. Also, I
think those I think those forty thousand Jews went to
Greece for the most part, and then eventually a lot
of them did come.
Speaker 1: To the New two thousand of them also met their
end at the stake. Yeah, they're burned alive. Whoa, Yeah,
all right, So that's Torquemada, Tiberius, near and dear to
this show. Yep I'll say flat out, I just didn't
put Epstein on the list because.
Speaker 3: Those are Tiberius.
Speaker 1: We have Tiberius.
Speaker 2: There's Epstein could never Epstein wishes he could do what
Tiberius did.
Speaker 1: For those unfamiliar, Like Tiberius abandoned Rome for the island
of Capri. And yeah, he had his own fsteen island
with what he called his little fishes. Yeah, he invented
sexual tortures and engaged in acts of just sexual deviance
with children all the time. And no, we need to clarify, Yeah, babies, babies, babies,
and children toddlers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like not this is I'm not saying it's right.
We had paint Pete Rose on the All Hell team
last week for fucking a fourteen year old or whatever,
but this is like literal diapers children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not easy to talk about. He would bind
the genitals of the kids to cause pain. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: He also would like pull babies off a mom who
was breastfeeding and make him suck on his fucking dick.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I don't care if fork Mada killed five hundred
thousand people. I'm just sending Tiberius through.
Speaker 1: Tiberius also forced executions of virgins after he deflowered them
because ancient law forbade executing a virgin.
Speaker 2: Oh man, numbers, numbers don't matter at me.
Speaker 1: So this is like this isn't talked about enough in history.
But uh, Tiberius maybe all time bad guy. Yeah yeah, yeah,
he's moving on to my list. It's gonna be a
tough Oh yeah, h Man's got a tough second round matchup.
Speaker 2: Well, what's funny about this second round matchup, first of
Tiberius is this is this is an instance that this
was a real March madness basketball game, right, like, obviously
Torquemada has more talent on the roster, rite better numbers,
but Tiberius's style of play is just gonna give him
problems all day, you know what I mean, that's really
what it comes down to.
Speaker 1: Sign zone defense.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And what is funny about him matching up
with Hitler in the second round is that this might
be the only person on the list of the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Gives Hitler problems.
Speaker 2: Who would give you you know, Hitler. I'm dead serious.
I guarantee it. Hitler would be morally repulsed by type period.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's kind of It's gotta be the only person.
Speaker 2: It's a brutal second round matchup.
Speaker 1: I know, I did intention. It's like, where where do
we want to go with this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? De throwing the guy quick, that's gonna be tough. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to knock Hitler out early.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we're gonna have to.
Speaker 1: We'll see when we get to it. We get to it,
I mean no, but we'll get to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh so we're going Tiberias here, yes, yes, all right, yeah,
I'll write that down. I'm gonna keep it on old
school paper paper brackets. I love it paper bracket just
for continuity in my own mind, and so I know
who actually makes it through, because it would be a
fucking headache trying to keep track of sixty eight people.
Next up, we have the five seed Oliver Cromwell, your guy, Robert.
Speaker 2: Look, the show's hosted by two irishmen. There might be
a twelve five upset in this bracket. I'm not giving it.
Speaker 1: Here we have the versus the twelve seed mad Caliph
Al Jakim, the sixth Fatimid Caliph. You're probably familiar with Cromwell,
so we don't really have to go through him. But
as far as this caliph, besides the immense bloodshed he's spilt,
he forced Christians and Jews to wear distinctive clothing and
banned them from using public baths so only Muslims could bathe.
He also banned specific foods, including grapes, shellfish, and artichokes,
and order the massacre of all dogs in Cairo what
because they annoyed him? So dog killer.
Speaker 2: Let's be fair here. Feral dogs almost certainly for the
most part, and in fact I know for certain based
on Gwat veterans, I know that often apparently they were
like vets in the army veterinarians, and sometimes they'd be
like a disease is spreading among the like dog population
of this area, and they would send American units out
to go put down dogs.
Speaker 3: Wow, I didn't even know that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, huh, I'm not so from the mouth of a
of an Iraq veteran that I know.
Speaker 3: I know a lot of guys that I worked with
or talked to when they're like going on target to
rate a compound or something. If there's a dog, maybe
to shoot it immediately before it starts sparking. That's just normal.
But we had still, we had dogs running around in
Afghans and that we avoided so we didn't have to
like murder.
Speaker 2: Them, but you would have had to if oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: He forbid women from appearing in public, prohibited them from
leaving their homes, and banned the manufacturing of shoes for
women to enforce their confinement.
Speaker 3: Don't hate that that last part.
Speaker 2: Both has both an extremely based man and a foot guy.
He's checking a lot of boxes for Scott Lopez.
Speaker 1: Also Quentin Tarantino.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, dirty feet. Quentin likes the feet dirty specifically.
Speaker 3: And the Disney Channel guy that did all the feet
weird the weird thing Nickelodeon, Dan Schneider, Yep, that guy
the logos afoot Oh dude, it is whoa Okay yep.
Speaker 1: He also oversaw the destruction of the Church of the
Holy and I always have a hard time saying this word. Sepulcher. Sepulcher, sepulcher. Yeah,
doesn't flow right, sepulcher. Maybe there's a reason it should
have been destroyed.
Speaker 2: Maybe, Look man like Cromwell was like the first modern
like European colonialist. I feel like, on a mass scale,
may not the first, but it doesn't matter. He fucked
up the Irish as bad as any population has ever
been fucked Boy potatoes so well, he wasn't respelled for
the potato famine.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there was, Like I'm sure there's like forty famines.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, there's like the the I know.
Speaker 1: But we've covered this. There's like a potato famine in
Ireland every four years.
Speaker 2: Not a great crop. Yeah, I'm I'm voting Cromwell. I
don't care what the calf did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kind of going Grandma easy, my Irish blood,
don't fuck with it.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Next up, we got King Herod. Now, Herod's intense fear
of losing power led to him executing his wife, her mother,
his brother in law, and three of his own sons.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: He was so paranoid that he ordered the death of
prominent leaders immediately upon his own death to ensure the
nation would.
Speaker 2: Warn this is King Herod of Judea, right f the Bible.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the same guy that ordered the killing of
all male children under two and under in Bethlehem to
eliminate a perceived rival, the king of the Jews of Jesus.
Speaker 2: Yeah, also had the head of John the Baptist. I believe.
I believe that was him.
Speaker 1: And then he's going up against the thirteen Seed. And
I you know our first woman in the bracket that
wasn't in the playing game, Yeah, Catherine de Medici.
Speaker 2: The Medicis were assholes, so I think we might haven't.
Speaker 1: This is a Medici of France, Oh France, Okay, I
don't know if there's any relationship, I'll look into it.
Speaker 2: I feel like I was thinking Italian for some reason.
Speaker 1: Well, I would do Medigi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm also
maybe saying the name wrong.
Speaker 2: No, Medici's right, for sure.
Speaker 1: She was the serpent Queen, a power hungry regent, and
in France, she often played religious factions against each other,
utilized a flying squadron of female spies and political poisons
to control the country. She authorized and was the architect
of the Saint Bartholomew Day Massacre in fifteen seventy two,
where thousands of French Hugo Nats were murdered at a
royal wedding inspiration of the Red Wedding. A Hugo knot Huguenot, Hugoenots.
Speaker 3: What's that?
Speaker 1: Protestant?
Speaker 3: Okay, hmm.
Speaker 1: She was a Catholic battie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a little for as much as I hate
Cromwell for what he did, I love her for doing
the exact same thing. It's interesting where does your allegiances lie? Yeah, yeah,
it's not really moral for me.
Speaker 1: She gave us a sweet scene in Game of Thrones.
Oh yeah, like Martin just ripped that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he ripped everything. But I respect it for that.
I don't know why I couldn't finish it. Would you
run out of medieval history, you douchebag?
Speaker 1: There's plenty out there. Yeah, I'm going King Herod, I'm
going DEMODICI actually for bigger pieces of shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, I'd have to go with with Herod.
If he's in the Bible for being a bad guy.
I've never read it, but that sounds important. All right.
Speaker 2: He was, you could say he was he was Jesus'
first boss.
Speaker 1: If the Bible was a video game, he's the first
Mike Tyson's punch out.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, like boss fight, not like his boss
at word No, no, yeah, he's a lead carpenter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, Harrod, I won't fight that. There's some of
these if I disagree with you, and I'm gonna fight
pretty hard.
Speaker 3: But yeah, my votion only cast like I half anyways,
for a lot of these, all right.
Speaker 1: The sixth Seed of Addis Abada, the dictator in Ethiopia
from nineteen seventy seven to nineteen ninety one. I don't
really want to say his name because I when we
get it wrong, I think it's just Mariam. Yeah, it's fine,
verse Saddam Hussein Yah, the big who's For those unfamiliar,
Mariam led the Red Terror campaign, which resulted in the
torture and killing of a half million people. He also
caused a manufactured famine that relocated or killed hundreds of
thousands or more. His government forced families of victims to
reimburse the state for the cost of bullets used to
execute their own relatives.
Speaker 2: I mean what I'm just I'm familiar with Saddam Hussein's
game and it doesn't touch like an African dictator. I
feel like is in that era is just like it's
tough to be. In fact, they're underseated.
Speaker 1: A lot of times, I feel they are in this
bragg there's plenty of them. Yeah, throughout the tournament. Yeah,
we kind of sleep in Africa, kind of like how
we sleep on Chinese war numbers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Africa puts up numbers. You can't believe.
Speaker 1: A lot of times he systematically targeted students, bureaucrats, and
anyone suspected of opposing Marxism. So huge comedy, Oh dude,
Okay done, yep. Vers Saddam obviously authorized the nineteen eighty
eight campaign against the Kurds, killing up two one hundred
thousand people. He also used chemical weapons, including nerve agents,
against Iranian soldiers and his own citizens. His regime used torture,
severe beatings, electric shocks, rape, and he also birthed two
of the worst humans alive. Yeah, in ude and kuse,
I just I think we should just kind of group
the Hussein family together, Like this isn't a vote for Saddam,
it's a vote for the.
Speaker 2: Housa Hussein, that immediate family. Yeah, that's fair. I still
gotta go marry him the numbers alone, Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd say Miriam all right, damn, dude said Dom
just gets balanced right away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he's I always think he's. I always
think he's kind of overrated, like a little bit of
an American propaganda over eight. Not that he wasn't a monster,
but like, yeah, you make him look worse because you
gotta fight him, marry him, just in the shadows of
history doing way worse. Ship.
Speaker 1: See that's why I actually left Gadaffie off here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I think Gadaffi was totally manufactured.
Speaker 2: He's not top. He was shit, but he ain't top
sixty eight.
Speaker 3: Well I didn't know that. It's also I voted him
out of a little bit of like all right, cool
move forcing their family members to reimburse the AMMI you spent. Yeah,
I didn't know you can do that.
Speaker 2: Co that's insane. That is a fiscally responsible communist that
is wild. Uh.
Speaker 1: Next up the three seed Attila the Hunt verse fourteen seed,
and many would say maybe under ranked Henry Kissinger. Now
Attila killed his own brother to unite the Hunt Empire
and ruled alone. He earned a reputation for being extremely brutal,
often killing priests, monks, nuns, and obliterating villages, farmlands, and cities.
He's known for his infinite thirst of gold, forcing the
Eastern Roman Empire to triple their annual tribute. He routinely
negotiated treaties, only to break them when it was advantageous
to launch surprise attacks on Roman territory. He drove tribes
out of their lands, causing mass chaos, displacing people all
over Europe. And he's going against one of the best
to ever do it, a patriot, Henry Guessing.
Speaker 2: A patriot.
Speaker 1: Orchestrated a massive secret carpet bombing in Cambodia what killed
about five hundred thousand civilians. He also personally approved bombing.
It's in Lao, Laos Lau.
Speaker 2: Clearly you don't watch King of the Hill.
Speaker 1: I don't watch King in the Hull.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, Laos, the Laotian people.
Speaker 1: He actively supported efforts to overthrow the democratically elected Chilean president,
who he then installed the brutal military dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet. Yeah,
who is actually on this list as well?
Speaker 2: Oh sweet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he and Nixon greenlit Pakistan's military to launch brutal
crackdown in East Pakistan now Bangladesh, resulting in the deaths
of approximately one to three million people.
Speaker 2: Damn, this one is he has numbers.
Speaker 3: This is probably the toughest one for me.
Speaker 1: And that's there's a bunch more associated with Kissinger. I
just it kind of gets redundant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Where
are we going here?
Speaker 3: I didn't know, I don't know. I don't know who.
I've heard the name Kissinger, didn't know anything about him.
But carpet bombing five hundred thousand people is crazy.
Speaker 2: I might have to go Kissinger here, to be honest.
I mean, Attila was just doing ancient stuff.
Speaker 1: He was just being like a tribes leader, a chieftain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm leaning towards Kissinger.
Speaker 1: I think we have like our first big upset.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think Kissinger takes down Attila.
Speaker 1: Even though, like you said, patriot.
Speaker 2: Patriot, I mean, thank you for doing it for me,
but you know, I didn't ask for that.
Speaker 3: That's so funny.
Speaker 1: Next up in the seven to ten matchup, we have
Hideki Tojo verse Queen Mary the First aka Bloody Mary
ooh propaganda. Tojo directly authorized the attack of Pearl Harbor
got us into World War Two. Under his leadership, the
military committed massive war crimes and crimes against humanity, often
referred to as the Asian Holocaust. Where Queen Mary was
the first woman to rule England in her own right,
successfully taking the throne despite being illegitimate.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't she Catholic too?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm she uh. She burned hundreds of Protestants, so
numbers aren't really there for Queen Mary.
Speaker 2: Tojo is. A lot of people say Tojo was the
real power in Japan, not Hirohito in terms of like
her hido.
Speaker 1: A lot of people say he was just kind of
like chilling. Yeah, he wasn't orchestrating all this stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh Now maybe that was a bit of post
war propaganda to like feed the Americans to like because we.
Speaker 1: Let him get off, yeah, or like, oh yeah, dude,
you can roll until I think he lived. Didn't hear
a heta live till like the eighties. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah,
that's insane, honestly. Yeah, And honestly, most of the uh,
the World War two villains outside of the h Man,
they kind of get away with it and we'll get
to it. Like there's the doctors that moved to Brazil
and Argentina and they just lived their.
Speaker 3: Life, yep.
Speaker 2: Or the ones that get to run NASA that too. Yeah, dude,
I mean Tojo underseeded, underseeded Tojo all day.
Speaker 1: I'll go Tojo as well. I mean, Queen Mary honestly
overrated as a ten seed. She's there off reputation alone.
A lot of it was the brand, right, Yeah, A
lot of it was the anti Catholic.
Speaker 2: Propaganda against her too, not that she didn't do stuff,
but like, yeah, I mean she didn't hold a candle
to fucking Tojo.
Speaker 1: So Tojo moves on. Final matchup in this part of
the bracket, the two seed Alexander to the Great Verse
the fifteen Delphine La Larie, Oh you know lot of Lois.
Speaker 3: Is she the New Orleans Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is
that the Nicholas Cage house that? Yeah, he bought that one.
Speaker 2: He did buy that house for a little while he
doesn't currently own it. Under no circumstances. Am I voting
against Madame Lollary because I'm letting Alexander off for the
same reasons I'm letting a Tila off the hook, because
Attilla probably did cause more death and destruction than Henry Kissinger.
To be quite honest, but.
Speaker 3: I didn't know Alexander the Great had bad press.
Speaker 1: No, I mean he was dope because he conquered so much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean with concoring comes comes people murdering, ending
bloodlines and that.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing, i'd've read this whole thing yet,
But is Julius Caesar on the list? He's not because
Julius Caesar was responsible for the deaths of like a
million galls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, good point.
Speaker 2: So I'm taking Lollary over Alexander the Great.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll go Lollary, the Lollary the fifteen knocks
off the two. I'm okay with that. I'm fine with that.
Let's get to the next part of the bracket. We
got Genghis verse ilsa coke, the plane obviously, the bitch,
the butcher lod Oh yeah, lady as Rob pult is
a drink. Oh we're getting deep into this. Where are
we going with Jenkis first ilsa? What are you thinking, Scott?
I mean.
Speaker 3: Controversial opinion there?
Speaker 1: All right, So what we said about Alexander the Great?
Uh con Yes, he killed all these people but didn't
want to build. Just moved on, right, just left the
path of destruction. Right now, they have lower the Earth's
temperature carbon footprint. Yeah, so some could argue one of
the greenest people to ever live easily.
Speaker 3: He was like big on rape though, that was him,
big rape guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just allowing his soldiers to enjoy the I'm.
Speaker 2: Not letting gangus off the hook the way I am
Alexander Attila.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's right, be yeah, yeah, same, he moves on.
Then we got the eight nine matchup Ben Lauden verse
Ryan hard Hadrich. Hadrich was the principal architect of the Holocaust,
described by Hitler as the man with the iron heart.
All right, where are we going here?
Speaker 2: I'm taking I think Ben Lotten's overrated personally, Like if
Ben laden had founded Isis or something. I don't know.
It's not that he's not burning in hell and a
horrible person.
Speaker 1: I was just a part of the wah hobbyism cult.
Speaker 2: I'm taking the guy who you know, they're taking Hitler's
offensive coordinator on the Holocaust.
Speaker 3: Essentially, I feel bad having a knockoff bin Lauden this early.
Speaker 1: Same with whu'saying man, yeah true, I at least get
no respect for.
Speaker 3: I have a little bit more like personal connection with
beIN Lauden and was never in Iraq. So I'm like
this one hurts a little bit more, but I gotta
go with the Hadrich Is that his name?
Speaker 1: Ryan Hard? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Hatred Ryan hat.
Speaker 1: Then we got here Hido, who we previously mentioned versus
King John.
Speaker 2: I thought this one was interesting on the list, he
obviously being the one forced to sign the Magna Carta,
although I feel bad for him because he had to
rule while his asshole brother was just like, good to
go do war. Hooray.
Speaker 1: That's all I care about.
Speaker 2: Richard the Lionheart.
Speaker 1: He is believed to have murdered his own nephew to
secure the throne and often starved opponents, including women and children,
to death. He is known as Lackland. He lost Normandy
and nearly all other French territories to King Philip the Second.
He used fines, taxes, and abuse the wives and daughters
of his nobles to keep them in check. Following his failures,
his barons rebelled and forced him to sign the Magna
Carta in twelve fifteen, which he immediately tried to renounce
and promote a civil war.
Speaker 2: Of course, keyword tried.
Speaker 1: No he did, he consed him civil war.
Speaker 2: He did close the war. Okay, eh, don't care. Japanese
World War two? Your heto moving on? Okay, because we
never It's criminal that what was tojo a seven?
Speaker 3: From here?
Speaker 2: Hetos a five underseeded you here heto all day.
Speaker 1: Listen, they're just well represented. We also have another you know,
Japanese scientists later, oh scientist.
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Speaker 1: Next tip, we have Nero, your boy Rol's favorite.
Speaker 2: Mine, Yeah, I mean the ultimate Christian persecutor, and then
obviously kick his pregnant wife to death because she yelled
at him for in the stomach. By the way, Scott,
what yeah, that's how he kicked her to death. He
kicked her in the stomach till she miscarried.
Speaker 1: And then he was sad and caused his eunuchue boy
to dress up like his ex wife that he killed.
Speaker 2: No, well close, what close? He was sad that he
killed his ex wife and missed her. Then he saw
some boy who looked like her on the street and
turned him into a unuch. Oh no, and then bft
him for the rest of his life.
Speaker 3: Okay, And then.
Speaker 1: He also met a pretty gris amandin Nero no his
boy lover.
Speaker 2: So his boy lover. I mean, I think he was
like he wasn't like super young. I think he was
like seventeen eighteen nineteen, but just fair, you know what
I mean. I think he killed himself. But what they
were going to do was have him be like raped
to death by giraffes, by gladiators, by gladiators, and they're
gonna put him out there and just have gladiator or
after gladiator tear him up until.
Speaker 1: He verse Another African warlord, Jean Badel Bakassa. He sees
power in Central Africa's Republic on New Year's Eve in
nineteen sixty five, overthrown his cousin and became president on
January first, nineteen sixty six. He renamed the country to
the Central African Empire, crowned himself Emperor Bucassa the First.
In nineteen seventy seven, he threw a lavish, Napoleonic style
coronation which costs the country roughly thirty million dollars, destroying
the nation's economy. Sweet Sweet ordered the murder of around
one hundred students in April nineteen seventy nine because they
refused to wear expensive uniforms made by one of his wives,
like one of and I mean he would routinely have
people killed and have a chef prepare their bodies so
we could consume their flesh.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's a cannibal.
Speaker 1: It's cannibal.
Speaker 2: Look, I respect Becassa's program, but Nero is a blue blood.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like what Picasa's building. But like, we'll see you
again next year. Yeah, you're just not gonna knock off Nero.
Speaker 2: No, that's an insane neuro's type of program. Like it look,
is he gonna get to the Elite eight? Who knows?
But like he just doesn't lose first round games, you
know what I mean. Like he's a second perpetual, second
weekend time type of guy.
Speaker 1: Next up to six to eleven matchup Vlad the Impaler
My guy versus my gal Empress Wu for those unfamiliar.
Originally a concubine to the Emperor, Wu became the empress
of his son, eventually manipulating the court and deposing her
own sons, an infant daughter to become the only woman
in Chinese history to rule in her own right now,
having so many family members so killed so many people
around her, But you know, she had a rule with
an iron fist.
Speaker 2: One imagines. I mean, I feel like every ruler of China,
just out of habit kills three million people that you
don't know about. So her numbers have got to be great.
Speaker 3: They gotta be good as soon as you get into
power the way, all right, who are we killing first?
You know where we sing the troops? We got to
kill millions?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Vlad kind of an ungrateful piece of shit,
you know. Yeah, technically he was a slave right to
the Ottoman Empire. Yeah, but they traded him pretty well.
Speaker 2: Well, he was a hostage.
Speaker 1: He was a hostage. Yeah, turned against his boy Mahmed.
Speaker 2: Also piece of shit.
Speaker 1: Also, you know he took down Constantinople.
Speaker 3: Oh what a dick.
Speaker 1: I know. But the med's kind of dope. And I'm
really saying this from a place of only watching the
Netflix documentary.
Speaker 2: It's fair, so it had it.
Speaker 1: It was I'm pretty sure made by Turkish media, so
he definitely had a slant. But it made me feel like, oh, dude,
flat kind of had it all and he turned his
back on his boy, And I think that's his biggest sin,
turn your back on your boy.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's his biggest sin.
Speaker 1: Besides him paling you know, most of the country.
Speaker 2: Including his own people, to send a message or something
like that.
Speaker 1: He yeah, I did, kind of like a burn it
all down type situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh was he impaling like civilians too?
Speaker 2: Women? Children?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's flat yeah, flat all day to the
point where it like literally shook the Sultan themed like
he's walking through a field of just I think thousands
of people being mpelled.
Speaker 3: What that takes so much time, I'd be exhausted.
Speaker 1: I mean there's plenty of stakes, plenty of hands.
Speaker 2: He didn't do it by himself, well, working for the
guy that got again do this whole town, Like, oh god,
damn it, I hate this job.
Speaker 1: Wood's kind of a battie. She's a symbol of femine
from whoror to empress. Yeah, I got Vlad. Okay, what
about you guys?
Speaker 3: Lad?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Lad?
Speaker 1: Alrighty. And then in the three fourteen matchup, I think
this is my favorite to win the tournament in the
three underseated. I've actually done an episode on this man.
Believe in he is the worst man to ever live.
Han Xi Kwang, the man that started the Typing rebellion
okay verse Pinochet in Chile, Hang led the Typing rebellion,
initially claiming to be Jesus' brother, remember that. Yeah, yeah,
But people didn't follow him for that. They thought he's weird.
So he leaned into Marxism, he leaned into communism.
Speaker 2: You know, if one religion doesn't work, go to another.
Speaker 1: And like you said, in China, something happens. You blink
and how many people die? How many people died in
the typing rebellin If you had to guess.
Speaker 2: Uh, twenty two million?
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, five million, thirty million people.
Speaker 1: God damn well, this manager responsible for the death of
thirty million Chinese.
Speaker 3: I didn't know they had that many, dude, They got bodies.
Speaker 2: Pinochet's soft. Pinochet, in comparison, is like a mid major
that was like the eighth best team in their league
and just went on a run in their conference tournament,
you know what I mean? Like Pinochet is just not
up to up to stuff, right.
Speaker 1: He got the auto bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if you want to hear Pinochet's kind
of record.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's hear the thirty million people he killed.
Speaker 1: Not even close he killed. He's responsible for about thirty
one hundred deaths.
Speaker 2: So what giquant and dated and afternoon?
Speaker 1: Tens of thousands of people were tortured and over a
thousand are still missing. Pinochet shut down Congress, banded political parties,
and created secret police to eliminate opposition. Roughly two hundred
thousand people were forced into exile. But yeah, I don't
think it's close.
Speaker 2: Yeah, great, you had a nice season, Pinochet. I get
out of the way.
Speaker 1: We got the seven to ten matchup of Kim Ill.
Speaker 2: Song the original the og yeah.
Speaker 1: Verse, Gene Combonda their name sound familiar off the top
of my head. Nope, maybe I'm saying it wrong. But
he was the prime Minister of Rwanda.
Speaker 2: Well that's all I need to hear.
Speaker 1: And I believe he is the only person that's ever
like pleaded guilty to a genocide.
Speaker 2: Oh good for him, so he owned up to it.
Speaker 1: Gene Combonda verse. Kim Ill Song Song was installed by
the Soviet Union as the leader of North Korea, becoming
the premiere in nineteen forty eight and initiated the Korean War.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh cool.
Speaker 3: Okay, so people.
Speaker 2: Forget about the Korean War. Like I feel like, well,
the Korean War actually doesn't get a bad rap because
like what do you want to say, Like they invaded
South Korea like it was an actual Like same with
desert storm, right, like that country we fought, like invaded
another country and we went and did something about it.
Fuck Kim Ilsong, I mean, the Rwanda guy all day Rwand,
I mean I grew up with it, so maybe that's why.
Speaker 1: But like it's got a special place in your heart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just all them.
Speaker 1: I grew up a big Rwanda fan.
Speaker 3: It just.
Speaker 1: And they they're like Villanova for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and they did everything with machetes. I
feel like like it was just they were hacking off
hands left and right, like yeah going rot.
Speaker 1: Also like under reported the amount of rape that happened.
Oh it wasn't just dudes getting executed, Yeah, their wives
also got raped. Then we got the two fifteen matchup.
We got a man that I feel like is kind
of uh disrespected. Okay, we got Tamerlane Tamberlaine. Yeah. Verse
Godfrey of Bouillion. Tamerlane was a fourteenth century Turko Mongol
conqueror who created a vast empire in Central Asia, but
is widely considered one of history's most brutal leaders. His
military campaigns caused an estimated seventeen million deaths, approximately five
percent of the world's population at the time, through massacres,
destructions of cities, and building very special monuments. In fourteen
oh one, he had ninety thousand inhabitants of Baghdad beheaded
to construct a tower made of skulls. Whoa he had
ninety thousand people killed to create a skull tower.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, what does he think he is Qatar
hosting a World Cup.
Speaker 1: He never lost a major battle in his forty four
year career. He established the Timrid Empire, expanding from modern
day Turkey to India and claiming to be the Sword
of Islam, targeted bad Muslims or non Muslims. His campaigns
devastated so many Muslim cities that you know, he kind
of went against everything he staid for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just a little bit. I mean Tamerlane all day, dude, sounds.
Speaker 3: Like a baller. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Godfrey is associated with the indiscriminate killing of Muslim and
Jewish inhabitants during the ten ninety nine siege and capture
of Jerusalem. He is implicated in the violent luden and
massacre of Jewish populations in the Rhymeland while marching to
the Holy Land to finance his crusade.
Speaker 2: Boy, double anti Semitic there killing Jews because he thought
because he wanted their money.
Speaker 1: Who were going with?
Speaker 2: I think tamer lay and the number is alone.
Speaker 1: Gotta wrap up that part of the bracket. Move on
to Stalin. We got Joey Stalin versus another one of
your guys, Robina Thomas Thistlewood. Now for the people at home,
tell us who Thomas Thistlewood was.
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: You did an episode on like a month ago.
Speaker 2: I don't remember. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, A lot of times.
I just remember the thing, not that. Yeah. He was
a Jamaican slave plantation owner who kept like very detailed diaries.
It's one of the reason, it's one of the reasons
we know so much about how bad Caribean slavery was.
He's in Jamaica and boy, he could not stop rape.
I mean, he sexually assaulted like every slave on his
properly tortured the ship out of slaves. You'd have them
like whipped and then pour like lime like whipped to fuck,
and then pour like lime juice and chili like like
peppers into their wounds and then leave them out all
night so like the flies and mosquitoes could feast on them.
Speaker 3: Yeah damn.
Speaker 2: Oh, and he made slaves ship and other slaves mouths
as a punishment some mite like that. They didn't not,
none of them checked that box unfortunately.
Speaker 1: All right, I think he punches up above his weight.
But obviously Stalin's moving on.
Speaker 2: I think this feels like a Siena Duke matchup.
Speaker 1: I was about to say the same thing. Yeah, yeah,
scares them in the first half. Yeah Stalin wakes up yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah again though funny because probably a person who would
personally morally repulse Stalin.
Speaker 3: As soon as he starts seeing the shitting And.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then in the eight to nine matchup, we got
Joey Manzelle. I think that's how he says his name, right,
I don't know. The Angel of Death was a SS
physician at the Auschwitz concentration camp conducted sadistic lethal experiments
on prisoners, primarily twins and children, and directed the selection
process that sent hundreds of thousands to gas chambers. He
injected chemicals in the eyes, force fed poisons, and deliberately
infected them with diseases like tuberculosis and typhus. He performed
surgeries without anesthesia, amputated limbs, removed organs to study limits
of human endurance. He tried to create artificial conjoined twins
by stitching together multiple kids.
Speaker 2: All Right, well, I guess make a case for this
other guy, because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think this is maybe the worst Nazi.
Speaker 2: On a like personal level. Yeah, like this is like Delphi.
This is the reason Lallari got the dub over Alexander,
the great type of shit, Like it's just yeah, good
fuck this guy. Let's hear the other one.
Speaker 1: Except we have Asher Banipaul Considered one of the most
brutal Neo Assyrian kings. He was known for extreme cruelty
and warfare, including flaying, impaling, and dismembering enemies. He used
intense violence to handle revolts. He also notably engaged in bloody,
destructive civil war against his brother, leading to the sacking
of Babylon. He had captive tongues cut out, skinned leaders
alive and forced kings to live in kennels with dogs.
Speaker 2: I mean, the last one didn't sound that bad compared
to everything else. Right, you get to be in a
dog pack, or you get skinned alive.
Speaker 3: All of that's really bad for Asher Bannipaul. But man
Gel just did it as like a scientist doctor.
Speaker 2: He did it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He wasn't conquering things. He was just oh, you know,
you know what sounds cooling? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also, and he did it on kids.
Speaker 2: That's more kids. I mean, I'm sure Estra Panopaul had
quite a few kids killed. But at the end of
the day, if I got to choose between some dude
who's alive in seven hundred BC or some guy who's
alive within living memory, I'm gonna take the Nazi doctor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who I believe just died normally of like natural causes.
Speaker 2: What what year? In three?
Speaker 1: I think he died in the Argentina in like the
seven fuck he got away you.
Speaker 2: Had to like watch Germany win a World Cup.
Speaker 1: Let me see, uh when did he die? He died
in nineteen seventy nine in Brazil at the edge of
sixty seven. Yeah, fuck that guy. You know, the worst
people do live the longest the five twelve matchup. We
got Tally Pasha verse Randavallana the first I know these people, Okay.
As leader of the Committee of the Union and Progress,
Pasha implemented a policy of Turkification targeted Armenians, Greeks and
Assyrians for elimination. O.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't believe that this happened.
Speaker 1: So uh that's the official word of the Turkish government.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is a tough, big mountain to climb
here for me.
Speaker 1: He sent encrypto telegrams ordering the deportation and destruction of
the Armenian population.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: He micromanaged the process tracking population figures in his notebook
to ensure systematic eradication. Pasha deemed the survival of Armenian
children detrimental to the country of Turkey, commanding they not
be protected and dismissed.
Speaker 2: Yeah he did the hard quote Armenian genocide. Um, you know, why.
Speaker 1: Are you riding for Turkey here or the Ottoman Empire's
F'm the one with Turkish blood.
Speaker 2: It's just funny to me that they like get off
the hook for It's just like boy, oh, to be
a country no one cares about you can just be like, yeah,
we didn't do that, and everyone's like that was the
old us, that the honest. No, they just say it
never happened though, and everyone's just like if you were
a real country, we hold you to. It's like a
dude like on the fringe of your friend group who's
like saying they did something sweet and you know it
didn't happen.
Speaker 1: They're trying to chirp us a couple of months back
because their special forces won the special Forces competition.
Speaker 3: Oh I don't think that means anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they like pretend.
Speaker 2: Did they even send our best guy like sorry, we
were working.
Speaker 3: No, they never do. They never send your like best guys.
They send whatever you're like b team is that's like
off of rotation or maybe they got in trouble for
fucking off. Like hey, you guys have to go do
this bullshit competition that you don't want to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you actually know you're a shitty Navy seal if
you have to go to that competition.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, Yeah, and yeah you don't want to go
do that. Oh I gotta go fly here and like
train kind of for a thing that doesn't matter. And
it's usually the team that's punished has to go do something.
Speaker 2: Like it's like being in a long drive competition when
the masters are going on, like it's just you're not
a real golfer.
Speaker 1: Yea, Bryce will try to do both, now, Queen Ranavallana,
I had no idea. If I'm saying that right, probably not.
She enforced a severe system of forced labor for public
works and agriculture in Madagascar. The infamous eighteen forty five
Buffalo Hunt forced over fifty thousand people on a sixteen
week expedition, resulting in an estimated ten thousand deaths from
hunger and malaria. In eighteen thirty five, she officially forbade
the practice of Christianity. Converts were subjected to severe punishment,
being dangled over cliffs, burned, or poisoned. She ordered the
execution of her rivals, captured French soldiers whose heads were
impaled on spears, and anyone suspected of disloyalty, earning her
the nickname the female Caligula. It's a good nickname kind of,
but also when you have somebody else who's in this
bracket's name as your name, yeah, kind of loosom.
Speaker 2: Steam Matta Gascar Low key doesn't get enough. Like I've said,
I said this on a very recent show. Actually, like
it's kind of fucked up place that you just never
hear about.
Speaker 1: Well, she stopped all foreign trade and attempted complete isolation.
Speaker 2: That always works smart, especially since like their whole thing
is they're like the like one of the only places
in the world with vanilla or something like that. Like
a lot of vanilla comes from That sounds right, Ascar,
So your vanilla is not ethically sourced. Just so you know,
every vanilla ice cream cone.
Speaker 1: You have blood was spilled blood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's blood vanilla. There's only blood vanilla in fact u. Yeah,
I'll go with the Armenian genocide, especially because he was
real in the weeds with it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he was like writing it down in his notebooks. Yeah,
kind of being a little two hands on.
Speaker 3: He was kind of like just to make sure that
they were more efficient and got everyone they were supposed
to be.
Speaker 2: Very Nazi asque. Yeah, real sabermetrics genocide guy.
Speaker 1: The four thirteen matchup, we have Ivan, the Terrible. Ivan
accused an entire city of treason, resulting in the slaughter
of the thirty thousand citizens and a violent outburst. He
killed his son and heir with a staff, which he
crippled the succession and contributed to the Russia's time of troubles.
Speaker 2: There was a very funny painting of that. He looks
like a hobo and he's like gripping his like dead son,
and he's like, oh, but he looks crazy.
Speaker 3: He actually seen that crazy.
Speaker 2: He looks like a crazy old wizard.
Speaker 1: He's going against yah Yah Khan the thirteen seed. Ya
Ya Khan ordered a brutal crackdown, leading to massive civilian
casualties and the nineteen seventy one Bangladesh genocide where millions
of people died.
Speaker 2: Gotta say. Gotta say, and when you're in that part
of the world too, you're just.
Speaker 1: The numbers, I guess are just easier in China and India. Yea,
in Bangladesh or.
Speaker 2: Any Pakistan and any Indonesia, any type of country like that,
you're just gonna rack up stats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's putting up numbers on a bad team.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah. If you're an NBA player getting like thirty
a night on the Wizards, Like it's not a real thirty,
but someone's got to do it. It looks good. On paper.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he failed to hand over power in the nineteen
seventy election, which led to a civil war. His poor
decision making led to the surrender of Pakisstani forces to
India in December of nineteen seventy one, causing the country
to be split. And yeah, a lot of people just
say he was kind of a coward and a lot
of these decisions he made were out of just fear,
you know, gross, I've in the terrible that's a hard name.
Speaker 2: But I gotta go with Yaya's numbers here numbers.
Speaker 1: And also he's doing this not from like a place
of I don't know, enthusiasm, what he like accidentally cause
millions of people to die. Well, if he's concidentally, but
he's just incompetent, which is worse.
Speaker 2: I don't I actually think that's that saves him to
some extent.
Speaker 1: We're going Yaya.
Speaker 2: I'm still going Yaya. But like, in competence isn't the same.
That doesn't make you evil if you're stupid.
Speaker 1: Well, it's not evils. Who's the biggest piece of shit?
Speaker 2: All right, all right, fair enough, I'll go yeah, yea,
though the numbers are you know.
Speaker 1: In the six to eleven matchup winner of the playing
game Andrew Jackson going against King she Hong Kin. She
had massive infrastructure projects, including early versions of the Great Wall,
his massive tomb and the Epang Palace costs thousands of
death due to his uh, you know, building projects. Vanity,
his vanity. He ordered the destruction of historical text and
classic literature, famously buryan scholars alive. Wow, he didn't like books.
Later in his life he became paranoid, searching for elixtures
of life, which included drinking poisonous mercury.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you get a if you if you gotta
make yourself immune to death by almost dying every day
one hundred times.
Speaker 1: So yeah, he's early China. Maybe don't kill the scholars,
you know, come up with your alexa alive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a great plan. I'm not he beats
Andrew Jackson. I don't think Andrew Jackson did like good
things too. He was the first person that had any
like wide suffrage, like the reason that it stopped being
land owning white men who could vote, and it was
all white men, which was the first step of suffrage.
Then after the Civil War it was all men, and
then you know it was, you know, all basically all
adults after the women got the right to vote. But
Andrew Jackson was the first one. He was the first
major suffrage movement. There's other things. He held the Union together,
knew John Calhoun was a big piece of shit, even
though Jackson owned slaves. Do I'm just not putting Andrew
Jackson over anyone else other than Jed Gruber. I guess right.
Speaker 1: Next up we have the three fourteen matchup, idiot, mean
the three The Butcher of Uganda massacred up to a
half million people. Like you said, African warlords just kind of.
Speaker 2: Their numbers are underrated. Like it's fucked. I mean, like
even like if you go back to go watch black
Hawk Down and they talk about how like like like
a million people die in that famine that was, like,
I mean, just like when shit happens in Africa or China,
the numbers are bananas. It's fucked. It's fucked.
Speaker 1: In nineteen seventy two, he ordered the expulsion of approximately
sixty thousand Asians, mostly of Indian descent, who ran the
country's economy into economic ruin and POVERA nice not the
way to go.
Speaker 3: We did it.
Speaker 2: We got rid of the bureaucrats, and it's like you
get rid of the driver. He got rid of the guy.
Fly the pilot fly in this plane, you ask, and
that's what a pilot is on a plane.
Speaker 1: He was known for keeping the severed heads of his
opponents in his freezer. It's just a lot of space
kept free.
Speaker 2: I mean he can afford a lot of freezers though.
There's just like twenty.
Speaker 1: I think it's a garage freezer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's what it was called the chest freezers.
Speaker 1: You have that. Yeah, nothing runs better than like a
garage fridge.
Speaker 3: You open up the wrong fridge that you're grabbing beers like,
oh fuck, the head fridge.
Speaker 2: Damn it.
Speaker 3: I didn't want to see that again.
Speaker 1: Your dad's had a fridge in the garage where you know,
the shed that's been running for forty years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, it's usually the old kitchen fridge. You get
a new fridge, that one goes in the garage.
Speaker 2: My mom was trying to say the other day because
we have like an ancient basement fridge instead of a
garage fridge, and she's like, oh, probably so bad for
the environment, and I was like, no, it's great for
the environment because because that fridge still exists. They didn't
have to make a new fridge. That's better. It's not like,
what do you think it's not what do you think
it's doing to the atmosphere that a factory that would
have to make you a new fridge isn't doing worse
like you've been You're very green by keeping a fridge
around for forty years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: He's going up against Enver Haksha. I think I'm saying
that right, the Stalinist dictator of Albania for forty years,
ruling with an extremely brutal and paranoid regime that resulted
in severe poverty, total isolation, and thousands of political executions.
He transformed Albania into the North Korea of Europe, characterized
by massive surveillance and strict ban of all religious practices
and private car ownership.
Speaker 3: That's an interesting one.
Speaker 2: So you just walk out and there's keys in any car,
and you're like, yup, yup, it's mine.
Speaker 1: Now, uh no, you couldn't drive.
Speaker 2: Oh, you just couldn't drive. Okay, that'd be funnier if
it was just like there were a bunch of cars,
you don't own any of them. You just get lucky
one day there's like a Porsche, but you have to
like squirrel it away. Yeah, like in like a parking spot.
Speaker 1: Interesting, wouldn't be good, but it would be provocative.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're bigger gang of dudes, like protecting like the
cool car they got for like a week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, essentially what would happen is it would be like
what happened to me, Like my very first day is
a pledge, which is what it was, car adjacent which
was very hard to find parking spots in Greektown at
at New Yiverssey, Missouri. So like I was literally going
to my first day in the house, some guy who
I don't know walks in and goes, hey, it's a
parking spot open right next to the house. Go stand
there till I get my car. Yeah, so I said
to stand there and wait. So that's what happened. Guys
would just stand there next to sweet cars, and you
would your guy who was in charge of you would
come get it and drive it around.
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty easy.
Speaker 2: I'm gone, I mean underrated monster, although properly seated. I
think I think a three is good for.
Speaker 1: Him, perfect for him. Kind of like an Iowa State situation. Yes, yeah,
next up, we're going back to Africa. He was the
first president of Equatorial Guinea. He eliminated all political opposition,
intellectual and skilled professions, leading to the collapse of infrastructure
in the economy. He banned Western medicine, education, and the
word intellectual. He ordered the death of anyone who wore glasses.
Speaker 2: Oh it was Jake's episode.
Speaker 1: Jake did this episode a couple of years back. Yeah,
you'll remember, had a pretty sweet execution at a stadium
Christmas Eve nineteen sixty nine. He had one hundred and
fifty political prisoners executed. While those were the days played
in the background over loud speakers, and guards were dressed
like Santa Claus.
Speaker 2: What that sounds like an execution? You would excillentally find
yourself at working by the way, I mean like you're
just putting on a Santa Claus cost you and you're like, oh,
sweet man, this would be a fun Christmas party. And
then he handed a loaded ak and you're like, oh.
Speaker 1: What nigema again? I have no idea expressed admiration for Hitler,
calling him the Savior of Africa.
Speaker 2: Hm hmm, all right. Not much of a reader, that guy,
but obviously since he banned in Alectra.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he can't be a nerd.
Speaker 2: He'd kill you, No, wasn't it didn't We call that
like nerd holocaust or something that.
Speaker 3: Wait, so he killed people who wore glasses if he.
Speaker 1: Wore glasses was on site?
Speaker 2: Yeah, essentially he was walking around like the big Butch
got the big football player from Revenge of the Nerds.
He was just like no Ogre. I think his name
was Ogre.
Speaker 1: Pretty good match up here, though, catches a tough draw.
Gilly Deray.
Speaker 2: Not familiar with their game.
Speaker 1: French noblemen and military leader alongside Joan of Arc. After
retiring from battle, he engaged in a reign of terror
which lasted approximately eight years, where he tortured, raped, and
murdered hundreds of children, mostly boys between the ages of
seven and fifteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get the nerd guy out of here.
Speaker 1: You can stop Joan of Arc just associating herself with
this guy. Not great.
Speaker 2: Well he did this stuff later, right, she was already dead,
I guess. Yeah, uhrd nerd guy's gone, so Gilly, Yeah,
we could stop there.
Speaker 1: In the final matchup of the bracket, pullpot very deserving
to seed. Oh yeah, Pulpot's a really bad guy. He
doesn't give enough hate.
Speaker 2: He doesn't because he's like a sea tier communist leader.
Speaker 1: And again he's like the perfect example though, to show
anyone that tries to like prop up communism, just like Pullpot,
like look.
Speaker 2: At yeah, look at C and d TI your pieces
of shit. Yeah, monsters. By the way, this is the
guy Kissinger was bombing.
Speaker 3: It was oh okay, well.
Speaker 1: It's a patriot, dude. Imagine that matchup. They could face
each other in the championship. Pull Pop versus Kissinger.
Speaker 2: Was what Seed was. Kissinger he was a fourteen. He
ain't making it that far, but yeah, yeah, yeah, he's
in Hitler's bracket.
Speaker 1: Come on, now going up against Elizabeth Bathory now Countess.
Elizabeth Bathory is famously considered one of history's most prolific
female serial killers, often nicknamed the Blood Countess for allegedly
acts of torture and murder of young women, occasionally rumored
to have bathed in their blood to retain youth.
Speaker 2: Was this a Jake Episode two? We did this?
Speaker 1: I think so?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think it was Jake.
Speaker 1: She bathed in the blood of over six hundred and
fifty victims.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 1: Although she never stood trial and instead was confined to
her castle.
Speaker 2: I got to say not probably the first thing that
she could in my head, but that uti situation had
to be a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Not great. Yeah, bathing in blood, but let's remind you
Pullpot responsible for about two million deaths.
Speaker 2: Yeah in a not that big country either. It's Pulpot
all day.
Speaker 1: Paul Pot moves on. Uh then last, I mean we're
trudging through this right now.
Speaker 2: I mean it'll get quicker at because we're not gonna
we don't need the history.
Speaker 1: Of the backstory everybody. Once we get past this, we
got one more bracket and then the matchups will go
a little quicker. Yep, we got mal Of course you're
one seed going against the first Grand Wizard of the KK.
Speaker 2: I mean Nathan Bedford Forrest wishes and I mean that sincerely. Actually,
I think he wishes he could have killed on the
scale of Mao, but he didn't.
Speaker 1: But he didn't. Dude, There's kind of been some people
that are trying to like say, Mao didn't actually intend
to kill that many people.
Speaker 2: We have a we have a that's one of the
upcoming history bookstore sketches. Actually, he didn't mean to kill
those sparrows. It not really like that like that, but
it's like MAO gets a mention, I should.
Speaker 1: Say, okay, yeah, anyone that's kind of like propping up
that side of the aisle. They're always just like yeah, no,
he gets kind of a painted with an unfair brush,
and I think he gets painted with a perfectly fine brush.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: There's not a lot of misunderstood people responsible for fifty
million deaths. No, And at that point you don't need
to understand them that hard, Like, what's the worst what's
the best case scenario? Fifty million people died because he
was stupid.
Speaker 1: That's still bad, right, still awful, right, Like it sounds
like your hero your comment.
Speaker 2: At some point, if you've killed a million people and
you're like, no, I still deserve to be in power.
At that point, you are evil for your own narcissism,
even if the people are dying because of you're incompetence,
not because of malice. If you demand to keep the
throne knowing that you're in competen they're gonna it's gonna
keep killing people. Yeah, I get the fuck out of that.
Speaker 1: Goodbye KKK, Yeah sorry Malmusan eight nine matchup. We got
shiro Ishi verse, Christopher Columbus potentially Jewish yep.
Speaker 3: I don't know who. I have a guest seeing Columbus
even here.
Speaker 1: Was a Japanese Army surgeon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, that was my guess.
Speaker 1: He was the one who directed Unit seven thirty one,
a covert biological warfare unit during the Second Cino Japanese
War in World War Two. He oversaw brutal experiments and
biological weapon development, resulting in over ten thousand deaths From
just that, He and his team never stood trial for
their war crimes and actually received immunity from the US
in exchange for the research data. Why are you crawling
to the fridge? You better close the door to this time.
Speaker 3: Alright, that was so funny.
Speaker 1: Just Army crawled on the floor.
Speaker 3: Those Seal Team's six level crawls. Dude, it's fun.
Speaker 1: You can walk across, make sure that freezer's been having
problems closed, and make sure the freezers closed. Kick you
gotta kick it there you go, all right? Perfect? So yeah,
Unit seven thirty one never brought the justice, actually gave
us a bunch of research data for the US. Unit
seven thirty one also produced bombs filled with the leg anthrax,
oh my god, uh, cholera, a bunch of different stuff.
And I think he's personally kind of or indirectly responsible
for the deaths of over three hundred thousand people.
Speaker 3: That's a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, you know, seven their own monsters. I think
Unit seven thirty one did stuff on American POWs too.
Speaker 3: Let's I just gonna ask he got a pass for that.
It's insane. We kind of just let the Japanese off, like, yeah,
take his stuff for research and then kill the guy
or put him in prison.
Speaker 1: Like here, you know, like we said, he lives forever. Oh,
they just scot free.
Speaker 2: No. The most fucked up part is they were like, yeah,
we exchange it for the data. What data? They're like, Hey,
did you know that if you take both lungs out
of a human that didn't you didn't anesthetize that, they
just die. Yeah? I figured I didn't. I've never done
the experiment, but I figure if you remove both lungs
from a Chinese farmer and then just let him lay
there on a table, he won't live. Yeah, that's the
data we traded for.
Speaker 1: There's old Christopher Columbus. Just no, he's a hero. In
this house. How dare you? We always joke Columbus is
actually the original like woe call holiday.
Speaker 2: No, it is the original woe holiday. It was to
get Italians to Americans to accept Italian immigrants in the
early nineteen hundreds. I believe after the biggest lynching in
US history, which was of Italians in New Orleans, right, yeah,
New Orleans of all places. Uh, they just didn't like
anyone down there. I guess, yeah, I don't care. There's no,
there's no. And Columbus, by the way, so cruel to
the natives. I believe that he was put in jail
by the Spanish. Like the Spanish, and this was during
the Inquisition. We're like, calm down.
Speaker 1: I'm going to Chiro. Yeah, all day brings up an
interesting matchup next with Shiro. Now, yeah, so tough one eight's,
you know, not not the easiest matchups.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Then we got Mussolini as a five. I just didn't
really know where to put him.
Speaker 2: I thought five was I think five's actually appropriate.
Speaker 1: Versus h Yah Kubu Gowan maybe he was the Nigerian
head of state from nineteen sixty six to nineteen seventy five.
He's accused of the genocide of nearly three million people.
Speaker 2: Oh big numbers again accused though, are we going allegedly here?
Speaker 1: No? I think he is responsible three million doesths so
Mussolini or the guy that killed three million people in Nigeria.
Speaker 2: I actually think that this is my twelve to five.
I think Mussolini obviously piece of shit, but just over it. So,
you know, how like with met with Maoor and I
think there's another one. We were like, okay, well, in
competence versus even though I don't think man was incompetent,
but you could say, like incompetence, isn't that evil or whatever?
Mussolini was almost like handcuffed from being more evil by
his own incompetence.
Speaker 1: He was just he kind of sounded retarded.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like he was. He was so bad at it
that he had, like he did a bunch of fucked
up shit, certainly, but like he almost like put a
ceiling on himself because of how stupid he was.
Speaker 1: He was just very Italian, Yeah, very touchy feely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm good. I think this is my twelve to five.
Speaker 1: I'll go on, go on, maybe whatever Nigerian head of state. Yeah, well,
I'll I think he's moving on. Mussolini, you're out of here.
Speaker 2: Get out. Interesting like the Italians in World War Two.
You're done early.
Speaker 1: Uh. Next up, Leopold the Second. I think he's a
sleeper dark horse right here. Yeah, Leopold the Second versus
Anti Pavolich. So for those unfamiliar, Leopold the set I
can't try to maximize rubber production in the Congolese population.
Speaker 2: It was king of Belgium.
Speaker 3: Oh, this sounds bad.
Speaker 1: Villages were required to meet strict rubber quotas, or soldiers
would cut off their hands of men, women and children
as punishment or as proof that they did not waste bullets.
It is estimated that the population of Congo was produced
by half during his rule.
Speaker 2: Congo's huge by the way.
Speaker 1: Estimated deaths are around ten million whoa. The regime was
characterized by widespread rape, burning in the village's torture, and
it is probably the most violent colonial endeavors in history
that doesn't get talked about.
Speaker 2: Really, I would say it might be the worst instance
of colonialism in the last called two hundred years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we were talking earlier about you know,
the the Ottomans, the Turks, not answering for the Armenian genocide. Boy,
does Belgium kind of get off the hook here.
Speaker 3: I've never even heard of this guy.
Speaker 2: They get completely off. It's like Belgium waffles and they
beat us in soccer, all like monsters.
Speaker 1: Well, the second awful dude, maybe the worst.
Speaker 2: He's he is a powerful four seed.
Speaker 3: It's just so funny every time you say something like that, dude,
good game. Yeah, seated right, he was properly seated. He're
like fucking funny.
Speaker 1: We have a six to eleven matchup between Himmler and
Rubes Pierre. Heinrich Himler was the principal architect of the
Holocaust and a key perpetrator of Nazi crimes against humanity.
Chief of the SS and German Police, he organized the
concentration camp system and oversaw the systematic murder of approximately
six million Jews according to some, according to most, According
to uh yeah, most, not all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, according to anyone who didn't go down the wrong
YouTube bally and if.
Speaker 1: You'd met it this far, you've clearly gone down the
wrong rabbit hole.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He was responsible for this master plan aiming for a
mass ethnic cleansing.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, he calls I think closer to fourteen million does.
Speaker 2: I'm sure he did. Also, he killed himself, right, he
was one of the guys who the pill. Yeah, he
got out clean.
Speaker 1: He's about to, I think, face either trial or execution.
And he killed himself.
Speaker 2: Fucking pussy. Look, I hate robes Fier, I hate Robespierre.
It's just, yeah, it's impossible.
Speaker 3: I think it has to be. Yeah, he got ann
Frank dude.
Speaker 1: Kind of honestly my least favorite person to ever exist.
I think at the three here, Vlad Lennon versus Kang Shang. Okay, dude,
fuck Lad Lenin stinks. Lenin is kind of responsible for
all the Communists bullshit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I I will say, uh, although the Russian
Revolution was gross and the Soviet Union over the early
Soviet Union under Lenin was horrific, I don't think he's
a top five horst communist like I would put Pole,
pot Stall and Mao.
Speaker 1: We're having a communist off right now. Kangshang was a
high rank in Chinese Communist Party official, often described as
Mao's hatchet man or evil genius, perfect good.
Speaker 2: I'm glad. I'm glad Mao had a good brain trust
with him.
Speaker 1: He was responsible for widespread purges, created a chamber of hers.
The Gulag involved no, just call it the Harry Potter thing,
involving the torture and deaths of millions of people. He
was known for ruthlessly betraying his own comrades and fabricating
evidence to frame innocent people, including people he previously worked with.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's just what you do, you know what
I mean, Like in America, when you want to fuck
over your buddy, you just like leak their sexts, right,
or you like leak to the press, like the sixties,
you like leak to the press that they're banging an
intern or something. In communist countries, it's like one day
you're just like he said something, let's have him executed.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He was responsible for establishing and maintaining China's backing of
pole Pot. So he was like the personal the guy
that oversaw the the finance and the pole pot.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, where are we going here?
Speaker 2: Lenin? I'll take Lenin.
Speaker 1: I'm still going to Lenin. Yeah, just bigger brand, bigger name.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, I mean I do think Lenin is a
soft three, but like there's enough talent there to get
through uhh the first round. I think he's gonna have
real problems in the second round.
Speaker 1: I actually feel bad about this ten seed Ho Chi Minh.
I feel like he's just doing his job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was surprised to see Ho Chi minh on here.
I'm sure he has some atrocities. But as far as
Communist leaders go, I mean, they were the ones that
kept getting invaded. A first, he fought against the Japanese.
Totally justified, of course. Uh, don't even blame him for
fighting against the French. No, either.
Speaker 1: He was kind of kind of dope.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now killing our boys till until we got there
killing our boys. It's another story.
Speaker 3: He was like the first Ben Lauden, really right, Ben
Lawden was going against the Russians and the Americans showed up.
This guy's going against Japan, France and in America.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going up against uh, kind of a sleeper
seven here.
Speaker 2: Slob On Melosevitch, Slow down Melosovich, you can call him
slob on, that's fine, Yeah, slow down Melosovich. Uh. The
guy who I believe was running the country when Novak
Djokovic and Nikola Jokic were born, The.
Speaker 1: Butcher of the Balkans who got responsible for the genocide.
Speaker 2: In Bosnia, Bosnia, Herzegovnia. Yeah he's Serb, right, he's Serb.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was running the country when Serb and Yugoslavia.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was running the country when when Jokich and
Djokovic were born. So it's like, oh, what were you born?
I was born during the Reagan administration. Oh where were you?
Where were you born? I was born during the Melosovich administration.
Speaker 1: Doude, I think Slavidon's going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm going going slav all the way I
want to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think it's funny to say Slavadon I had.
I will put my hand up whenever I get the miss,
you know, if I can't pronounce something.
Speaker 2: But that was intentionally Yeah, fair enough. Now, I look,
that's the name I would not have gotten, right if
I I didn't grow up during like I was in
like sixth grade or fifth grade when that show was
popped off. My actually, my uh my cousin who went
to West Point what was he was out of the
army by the gi Watt but he was deployed to Bosnia.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, what what did they do there?
Speaker 2: Any idea peacekeeping mostly, but he would have to he
was an engineer, so he would have to like uh
uh like remove a lot of like minds and ship
like that. Oh well, damn, I should say he he
was an officer. Yeah, obviously that was their task. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: Final matchup of the round Caligula versus Pablo Escobar.
Speaker 2: Pablo is a monster, but get him out of here.
Speaker 1: That's why fifteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get him out of here.
Speaker 1: Caligula all day, I looked too much like him. Well,
he get We should honestly reshoot all those scenes from
Narcos with you, yeah, and just swing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just staring off into the distance. All sad.
Speaker 1: All right, So we're to the round of thirty two.
I think we should go a little faster.
Speaker 2: Well, we don't need the backstory in the backstory anymore.
Speaker 1: Uh, let's h man Hitler. This might be the most
round a thirty two matchup Hitler versus Tiberius.
Speaker 2: This is like when Florida caught Yukon in the second
round last year, and that was like their toughest game
until the final brutal, brutal, brutal catch in the second round.
But yeah, I mean, I'm taking Hitler. It is still
funny to me that this might be the only person
Hitler faces who personally morally repulses Hitler.
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to Tiberius. I'm gonna I'm gonna
go to Tiberius is worse. No, I think he's a
bigger piece of shit.
Speaker 2: No, No, he on a personal level, he I just.
Speaker 1: Wanted to be a toss up to the Scott. I
want Scott to all right, that's dudes.
Speaker 2: On a personal level, Tiberius is a worse person, but
the scale everything like Hitler. Yeah, like Hitler wouldn't rape
a baby, but he would put ten million other people
in a situation and where they can rape and murder children.
No problem.
Speaker 1: I'm also trying to cover our asses. So the one
guy who says you're covering up for Jeffrey Epstein doesn't
come after as Akain.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm just covering it. It's a brutal draw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're going, h man, I'm going Tiberius. Scott, where
do you dude go here?
Speaker 2: You're gonna be this side, not let Hitler losing the
second round. I kind of might you can't for the
sake of the show you can.
Speaker 3: Because you got you got Himmler, who was like the
SS guy doing the bad shit. No, Hitler just maybe
said something.
Speaker 2: No, I don't need a narrative where it was everyone
else's butt, Hitler's fault. You have to vote for Hitler.
Speaker 3: Man. Yeah, on the personal level, Tiberius is worse. I would,
I'd go Hitler, all.
Speaker 2: Right, Hitler moves on, Let's do it barely, barely.
Speaker 3: It is close.
Speaker 1: Buzzer beater by Hitler there, Yeah, he gets a tough
draw in the second round.
Speaker 2: No, no doubt kids by because Tiberia is just if
you if you are if anyone's listening to this and
they're like, how could you possibly just.
Speaker 3: Go read about.
Speaker 1: This is the worst thing I've done in episode on
by far.
Speaker 2: It's horrifying, and that it was so long ago, it's
still hit Yeah, it's horrifying, but it's it's just it's
not it's too micro of a scale.
Speaker 1: Then we got Cromwell versus King Herod to Cromwell. Cromwell
moves on all day, We got does h Man got
another tough now? Uh, we got Kissinger versus Mariam.
Speaker 2: Was Marriam again?
Speaker 1: War Lord?
Speaker 3: Oh, I think Mariam on this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll go Mary, all right.
Speaker 1: Mariam moves on Tojo versus Lalerie.
Speaker 2: Tojo, Lollari gets a great win, you know, she can
go back.
Speaker 1: It's a great season for yeah season, she can.
Speaker 2: Go back to her you know, to her house and
talk about how like she pulled an upset, but like
she had no chance at the second weekend.
Speaker 1: No, well, first weekend still technically, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, but no no chance of making the second weekend.
Speaker 1: So Tojo moves on, Uh, con versus Hadrich.
Speaker 2: Hadrich was the like super micro holocaust guy, right, like
he kind.
Speaker 1: Of play and everything man with the iron will.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I still think Gang is Khan just the sheer volume,
just doing.
Speaker 1: It kind of for the love of the game too.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He wasn't trying to rule over anybody.
Speaker 2: No, they just decided one day. They're like boys, worst
road trip ever.
Speaker 1: They were the c people. Yeah, kind of came and went, yeah,
let's ride here a Heato versus Nero.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Nero here. I think I do think here. Hido,
unlike Hitler, was a bit more of a passive participant.
I'm not saying he didn't approve of it or put
his name on it.
Speaker 1: But again, you're just letting the Japanese skate by.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let Tojo skate by. But I do
think Nero is way more of like an actual monster
than here Hido was.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll go Nero as well. Vlad verse Jikwan
the architect of the Typing Rebellion.
Speaker 2: Oh just thirty mil Yeah, chi Kwan all day. That
was the other one who were like, well maybe he
was just stupid, right, I think that was it?
Speaker 1: But yeah, Chi Kuan the brother of Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Then we got Rwanda boy verse Tammerline. It's tough.
Speaker 2: This is a tough one because Rwanda was in the nineties,
and I do think recency bias matters to some extent
because like a lot of like at some point in history,
you're like they were just everybody was doing it, you
know what I mean, Like all they did was do
it better. But I think I'm going Rwanda here.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave it up to Scott.
Speaker 3: Then what was Tamerline?
Speaker 1: Turco Mongol conquer who created he killed the ninety thousand
people in Baghdad for the skull Tower.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm going.
Speaker 1: I mean, he killed millions of people. Probably, no, not probably,
he definitely did Rwanda.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're going no, we're saying Tamerlane killed millions of people.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah, yeah, So where you're going? Fuck, I
don't I don't care about his skull tower.
Speaker 1: Dude. If you want to go to Rwanda, we'll go.
Speaker 3: Rewind yah, go to Rwanda.
Speaker 2: Ten seed to the Sweet sixteen.
Speaker 1: Damn dude. All right? Uh Stalin verse Manzelle.
Speaker 2: Now, I think a lot of people misunderstand Stalin, and
I think a lot of people sort of like he
was just kind of like there, you know.
Speaker 1: What I mean, No, he wasn't who believes that. I
think you just don't.
Speaker 2: Understand what Stalin was trying to achieve, like his vision.
Speaker 1: You know what's like a great way to really understand
Joseph Stalin is just watching Death of Stalin. I know
it's a comedy, but I feel.
Speaker 2: Like they nail it. No, they definitely do.
Speaker 1: Everyone's walking on eggshells, everyone's watching what they say when
they laugh, like he was micromanaging every little thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, Stalin takes it all day.
Speaker 1: I don't even if you coughed at the wrong time,
you might execute you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Stalin for the mustache.
Speaker 1: Stalin moves on uh Tali Pasha the man that orchestrade
the Armenian genocide verse ya Ya.
Speaker 2: What yah Ya do again?
Speaker 3: I think Yaya was really bad. I might go Yaya
on this one.
Speaker 2: I remember ya Ya being like it was this African
or Chinese.
Speaker 1: He's the one who was responsible for Bangladesh. Oh, Bangladesh
three million.
Speaker 2: Talent was the Armenian genocide. I'm gonna go Talent just
for how in the weeds he was.
Speaker 1: I think because he wanted to do it. I don't
know if ya Ya was trying.
Speaker 3: To do it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Talent was all in.
Speaker 1: Then we have Quinchy hung verus idiot meant he's underrated.
I think IDI's gonna make a run.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, I think I.
Speaker 1: H Then we got the fucking series real killing man
that was Homies with Joan of Arc who also raped
and killed a bunch of kids versus Polepop Boy. It's tough.
Speaker 2: This is a tough one. This is tougher than Tiberius Hitler.
Speaker 1: He killed because he killed the kids too. Yeah, he
didn't just rape them. He killed him.
Speaker 2: So basically we're talking about like a serial killer, but
like a like a really mass scale serial killer and rapist.
Speaker 1: Two million people.
Speaker 2: Polepot, Yeah, boy, I don't want to let Polepot off
the hook by leaving him in the second round.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think Popa moves on, but it's close.
Speaker 2: It's a it's a good game, absolutely, mal.
Speaker 1: Verse shiro Ishi, it's maw Yeah, mal Or is a
Unit seven thirty one.
Speaker 2: I think it's Mao because Malo was China was probably
doing Unit seven thirty one. Shit, anyway, you know what
I mean, poisoning kids and whatever the fuck Like, there's
nothing I can put past communist China in the fifties, sixties,
and seventies.
Speaker 1: Okay, Scott.
Speaker 3: Going shiro Ishi seven thirty one also recent.
Speaker 2: They're both recent.
Speaker 1: Mole's recent.
Speaker 2: No, that was more recent Mouse?
Speaker 3: Oh fuck yeah, Mao is recent.
Speaker 2: That's more recent.
Speaker 3: Lookten, you guys didn't bring me here for my intelligence.
Speaker 2: So now we brought you here for the tiebreaker.
Speaker 3: I'm still going shiro Ishi. He uh yeah, he experimented
on POWs. I'll take that.
Speaker 1: Do I do it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do I leave Mao in the second round.
Speaker 3: He's a bum dude. He had a bad game.
Speaker 1: I will say a lot of his I think I'm
going shiro Ishi.
Speaker 2: A lot of Mao's bodies, like from the famine and stuff,
were that was incompetence, right, Like that wasn't him trying
to kill people? That was and being a moron. I
think it's more there was no There's no person that
died under Hitler that wasn't because Hitler wanted it to happen.
There's no person that died under Stalin because Stalin didn't
want it to happen. There was a lot of people
who died under mau because Mao is just a fucking moron.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going shiro Ishi. Okay, Yeah, so Mao.
Speaker 2: Did later did I'm gonna live with that. Florida loses early, Yeah,
I canna live with that. Uh.
Speaker 1: Then we got Leopold the second first Uh yeah, Kuboo
go on. I think Leopold the.
Speaker 2: Second Leopold all day, Yeah, all day.
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna make a run here.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Then we got Himmler versus Lenin. This is a tough matchup.
Speaker 2: I'm going Hitler. I'm going Himler. I do not think
Vladimir Lenin was as bad as Heiner Kimmler.
Speaker 1: Disagree. I'm going Lenin, Fuck you.
Speaker 3: I don't know enough about Lenin, Like, up until I
thought he was on the good side. If there was one.
He's the guy that's in the tomb.
Speaker 1: They can go visit his face, right, Yeah, well you
just say Lennon was on the good side.
Speaker 3: I thought I didn't know anything about this thing. I
thought he was doing the right thing. No, leading the revolution.
Oh he did the poku.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's one thing I have no ideas, certainly
one thing to be like, Oh the Czars sucked, but
they replaced it with something worse.
Speaker 3: So oh yeah, that's a good point. I'm going Himmler
on this.
Speaker 1: Himmler moves on.
Speaker 2: Himmler gets through fairly, and then.
Speaker 1: Final matchup of the round thirty two, we gotta slop
it on first, Caligula, give me the big slobs, dude,
I'm going Caligula.
Speaker 2: I think Coligula was a sicker human being.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Caligula moves on, and we're on to the Sweet sixteen.
Speaker 2: Let's go.
Speaker 1: We're onto the Sweet sixteen boys. Hitler versus Cromwell. I
don't think it's a competition.
Speaker 2: Hitler takes it Hitler takes Cramo wishes, and I do
actually mean that, I think Cromwell wishes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So Mariam versus Tojo, Tojo, come on, ain't no,
Mariam killed five hundred thousand people.
Speaker 2: Tojo killed way more than that, way fucking more and
in sicker ways.
Speaker 1: Okay, Tojo moves on. Uh, Jegus or Nero or Genghis.
I never really know how to say that.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna go Nero here.
Speaker 3: What else did Nero do besides have a weird boy
girl slave.
Speaker 2: He was like the primary Chris find a lot of Christians,
primary persecutor of Christians.
Speaker 1: He would actually have them as like a pires for
his party.
Speaker 2: So he would throw parties.
Speaker 3: Oh he's that guy.
Speaker 2: And to light the parties, he would like Christians on fire.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, yeah, yeah, I think Nero takes that one.
Speaker 1: Neira moves on later. Jegus, it can't be all about numbers.
Then we're going Taiping rebellion or Rwanda.
Speaker 2: Uh give me give me jikwan, right jikwan?
Speaker 1: It was just called hi hon either way, Hank.
Speaker 2: Give men kwan.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Three Seed takes down the ten.
Speaker 1: I agree, that's I mean, we have an interest in
the lad eight kind of coming up. Okay, Stalin versus Pasha,
I think Stalin, Yeah, I think.
Speaker 2: Takes that.
Speaker 1: Idio mean versus Pullpot. This is tough.
Speaker 2: That's that's a great matchup. The A three, A two
to three game in the in the sweet sixteen is
always always fantastic. It's what you want to see on
the bottom half of the bracket.
Speaker 1: Uh, just a good game.
Speaker 2: It's just a good It's just two good, hard nosed.
Speaker 1: Teams just going at each other. Stack and forth.
Speaker 2: Styles make fights type of situation.
Speaker 1: Both taking swings at each other, Yeah, going on runs.
Speaker 2: And they're both sick motherfuckers too.
Speaker 1: Some of the worst.
Speaker 2: In this scenario because everything else is pretty even in
terms of like like how fucked up they are and
how shitty a people they are. I'm gonna lean numbers,
and I think Paul Pott has the numbers.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go idy.
Speaker 3: Paul Pot had two mil right, yeah? Yeah, Idi do
we even know what he had numbers wise.
Speaker 1: Allegedly up to half a mil. Yeah, but also tanked
his economy by getting all the smart people out. Yeah,
that's fucking all the Indians who ran the country's economy.
Speaker 3: I think that's just stupid.
Speaker 1: Also kept severed heads in his freeze.
Speaker 3: He don't mind that one, that's fine. Uh, give me
all right.
Speaker 1: We got a pretty good elite eight lining up Shiro
versus Leopold. I think this is where shoes run ends.
I think I'm going Leopold.
Speaker 2: Leopold was ever even as sick as Shiro and had
the numbers, had the numbers.
Speaker 1: We just need to bring awareness to how shitty Belgium is.
Speaker 2: I agree with that. We we are an anti Belgium
podcast one hundred percent. I'm a little ashamed my grandfather
helped liberate them.
Speaker 1: Oh man, Heinrich Kim from the I should I should.
Speaker 2: Note from the Congolese, uh not the Germans.
Speaker 1: We got Himler versus Caligula. Does Himler's run end here?
Speaker 2: I think Himmler wins.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Himler over Caligular.
Speaker 2: I got Himler over Caligula for because again, just as sick,
uh probably more put together. Certainly Coligila isn't saying And
actually that's why I take it. Coliguilar was crazy, like
mentally ill, Himmler wasn't.
Speaker 1: I'll go Hitmler as well. Yeah damn, all right, So
this is gonna be the final round we vote on,
and we're gonna leave up the final four to the
folks at home, Okay Hitler, Verus told Joe, damn.
Speaker 2: God, damn.
Speaker 1: Fuck. This feels irresponsible to leave Hitler off.
Speaker 2: But like the Japanese, I we say on the show
all the time, every bit as horrific as the Germans, like,
every bit as evil as the Germans were.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: Also we could kind of this might be a good
off ramp for Hitler, like we can justify it then
we won't get too much blowback.
Speaker 3: That I should have fucked gone with the typeriod.
Speaker 2: I am gonna stay Hitler for one reason.
Speaker 1: It's also expected, right, like people are like, of course
be in the final four.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I want to stay Hitler. And the reason
is it's why I think the Germans do get more
shit than the Japanese. Both the Germans and the Japanese
were racial supremacists, right, but there's just something more off pudding,
and it's why the Japanese don't get as much shit.
There's just something more off putting about how German they
were about it, like so organized, so intentional. The Japanese
were just like, yeah, we're killing you know, like the
Japanese were like old school genocide. They're like Genghis Khan genocide.
Now they use modern technology like anthrax and all kinds
of fucked up shit like that. But at the end
of the day, they were conquering like it was the
twelve hundreds, and the Germans were just doing something like
like so new. Like I guess the Turks did it
a little bit in the Armenian genocide, but like they
just just changed the game in a really fucked up way.
So for me, it is Hitler over Tojo. Not that
I want to let the Japanese off the hook, but
there is something about the level of intentionality with the
Germans that makes it a little bit worse.
Speaker 1: Hitler mos on the one seed, wow original.
Speaker 2: You know what, there's a reason he's the one seed,
Like he's.
Speaker 1: The number one overall seed too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a reason. Who's in the final four right now?
Michigan and uh there's two one seedson Michigan in Arizona.
There's a reason. There's a reason they're fucking good.
Speaker 1: Then we got Nero for Chiquon.
Speaker 2: Hmm, boy, it's tough. I think Jikwan's numbers just override.
Speaker 1: I agree. I'm gonna go Jikwan. I'm happy he made
it to the final four, and I think he might
give Hitler a game.
Speaker 3: Yeah, give Hitler game for sure.
Speaker 1: I think we'll give Hitler a game. Stalin versus Polepot.
Speaker 2: Stalin all day all day Polepots like stalinvers Polepots, like
the blue Blood team against like a decent P four
team who took like an assistant coach from the blue
Blood and they had a nice run. But like that,
you're not beating Daddy.
Speaker 1: And then the final matchup, our final game of the
pod Leopold the second vers Himmler. Oh, and I think
just for a variety, we already have a Nazi.
Speaker 2: I'm not putting two Nazis in. I'm going Leopold.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have gone with that. I would have
gone Tojo.
Speaker 1: But you know, my friends, is the bracket where we
have reached the final four of Hitler vershi Kwan and
Stalin vers Leopold. Maybe we can actually do the two
matchups in individual polls. That might be a better idea.
Speaker 2: Can we do two competing polls on a YouTube?
Speaker 1: Figure it out. We'll figure it out, or if we can't,
we'll do the You know, we'll put all four names
up and whoever has the highest percentage.
Speaker 2: It's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but personally, where where would you guys go?
Speaker 3: Here? Man?
Speaker 1: I obviously I think I'm going Hitler versus Leopold, and
obviously I kind of want to give it to Leopold.
Speaker 2: Leopold doesn't stand up to Hitler, I know, but he doesn't.
Speaker 1: I got Hitler versus Leopold, and I think Hitler wins.
Speaker 2: I was it Leopold versus Stain, Yeah, Hitler strong.
Speaker 1: Hitler's all right. Honestly, that's probably a better matchup. Like
the votes are gonna be closer, and we're gonna piss
off both sides.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: I got Hitler Stalin, and I think it was like song.
I think now Hitler, here's here's Hitler. Here's where Hitler
comes up short. And I suppose it's not his fault, but.
Speaker 1: I should I do agree. I think it is Hitler Stalin.
That's the right answer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Stalin got more time to do his things, and
he put up bigger numbers.
Speaker 1: He's the Emmett Smith.
Speaker 2: Yes, two years very much so. Now, if Hitler had
the time that Stalin had, I think Hitler would have
put up, you know, way bigger numbers. But to make
a perfect comparison, you know, Hitler's the Sandy Kofax, Hitler's
title maniacs, you know what I mean? Like talent, Hitler,
like Sandy Kofax might be the greatest picture of all
time Jewish, which is why I'm doing this. But but
Sandy Kofax got hurt and couldn't, you know, couldn't do everything,
So he gets kind of like left in the in
the fray a little bit, even though he's still considered
an all time great. But at some point you do
have to consider that he didn't play for that long.
Hitler Sandy Kofax level abilities, but didn't get to play
for as long as Stalin did. Stalin similar abilities to
Hitler and got a full career out of it and
made the most of it.
Speaker 1: God, imagine if we had Diberius knockoff him their second round.
I thought we could have, we could have done it.
Speaker 3: Did I want to too so bad?
Speaker 1: I should have done that.
Speaker 2: I'm going I don't think it. And Stalin over Hitler
based on I.
Speaker 1: Think we just tried to please the masses. And you
know what, there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, sometimes
you just gotta go with the correct answer.
Speaker 2: Most national championships in March madness are between like a
one seed and a two seed, or a one seed
and a one seed, or a two and a two
making runs no no, And when they do, it's like
North Carolina.
Speaker 1: And listen, we got a four, we got a three
and two ones. It's variety.
Speaker 3: All right, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can live with that. I think we did
a really good and like quite frankly, like all credit
to Leopold, he just doesn't. It's not the same.
Speaker 1: You're right, Stalin wipes the floor of them.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was just trying to be different, That's.
Speaker 3: What it was.
Speaker 2: I mean, at some point you yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: I get that.
Speaker 2: And Leopold deserve it's good he's in the final four.
He deserves to hang a banner because he's a piece
of shit.
Speaker 1: I mean, Belgium needs a win.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I think Stalin, I think Hitler and Stalin.
I think Hitler is more evil. But I think when
you take Stalin's full career into context, he becomes the
biggest piece of shit, like a worse stain on humanity overall.
And also although there are some people trying to uh,
you know, be like Hitler is actually pretty cool. Like
they're fringe and shitty. They're growing, I guess, but they're
fringe and shitty. There are so many more people who
will well, actually you on Stalin.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's insane. Same with pole Pot, same with Sam,
with mau Yeah, people are actually communists.
Speaker 2: There was like an there was like, so here's the thing.
If people march down the street with Nazi flags, twenty
four to seven news coverage as there should be.
Speaker 1: There are routinely hammer and sickles in every protest.
Speaker 2: YEP, and no one bats an I it's insane.
Speaker 1: A lot of contradictory symbols yeah in those protests. Yeah,
it doesn't make any sense, guys, but that is our
episode for today went long as I expected. Good app though,
good app though, I feel I feel good about it. Yeah, Scott,
thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course I had a good time with all
of my insight on all of these people.
Speaker 1: Well, we needed to decide and we can't do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you needed a third and I'm the best, probably.
Speaker 1: Most knowledgeable guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where can the good.
Speaker 3: People find lastro Lopez on Instagram. That's about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, appreciate follow that boy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a lot of work to do tonight,
just putting this bracket together in the graphics, check out
the YouTube.
Speaker 2: Gonna gonna be visually the great visual episode. Way to
follow along YouTube dot com softcore history.
Speaker 1: Just yeah, I don't even know where actually you are.
Speaker 2: Just think it's like slash at software history.
Speaker 1: Stupid, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: So anyway, just search softcore history on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Subscribe please and thank you. Turning notifications on with the bell.
Leave a review five stars, please and thank.
Speaker 2: Comment, comment with your takes, what we got wrong, what
we got right? Yeah, both on Spotify because you can
comment on Spotify too, on Spotify and on YouTube.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, leave your review. Just tell us who
you thought should have won the bracket, and then we'll
figure out a way to put up a vote and
you guys can decide.
Speaker 2: You can do polls on a YouTube video.
Speaker 1: I know that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but.
Speaker 1: We'll see which way we're gonna take it. Okay, So
we love you guys, Thanks for tuning in, Thanks for
you know, hanging in there for two hours because there troopers.
Uh for Rolph Fox, Skottle Lopez, I'm damn Rochester. You
just got saw served