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Speaker 1: The minor Cannon by anonymous. It was Monday, and in

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the afternoon, as I was walking along the high street

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of Marchbury, I was met by a distinguished looking person

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whom I had observed at the services in the cathedral

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on the previous day. Now it chanced on that Sunday

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that I was singing the service properly speaking, it was

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not my turn, but as my brother minor cannons were

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either away from Marchbury or ill in bed, I was

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the only one left to perform the necessary duty. The

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distinguished looking person was a tall, big man, with a round,

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fat face and small features his eyes, his hair and mustache.

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His face was bare but for a small mustache, were

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quite black, and he had a very pleasant and genial expression.

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He wore a tall hat set rather jauntily on his head,

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and he was dressed in black, with a long frock

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coat buttoned across the chest and fitting him close to

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the body. As he came with a half sauntered, half

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swagger along the street, I knew him again at once

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by his appearance, and as he came nearer, I saw

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from his manner that he was intending to stop and

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speak to me, for he slightly raised his hat and,

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in a soft melodious voice with a colonial twang which

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was far from being disagreeable, and which indeed, to my ear,

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gave a certain additional interest to his remarks. He saluted

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me with good day, sir. Good day, I answered, with

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just a little reserve in my tone. I hope, sir,

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he began, you will excuse my stopping you in the street,

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but I wish to tell you how very much I

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enjoyed the music at your cathedral yesterday. I am an Australian, sir,

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and we have no such music in my country. I

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suppose not, I said, no, sir, He went on, nothing

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nearly so fine. I am very fond of music, and

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as my business brought me in this direction, I thought

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I would stop at your city and take the opportunity

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of paying a visit to your grand cathedral. And I

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am delighted. I came so pleased, indeed, that I should

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like to leave some memorial of my visit behind me.

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I should like, sir, to do something for your choir.

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I am sure it is very kind of you, I replied, yes,

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I should certainly be glad if you could suggest to

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me something I might do in this way. As regards money,

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I must say that I have plenty of it. I

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am the owner of a most valuable property. My business

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relations extend throughout the world, and if I am as

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fortunate in the projects of the future as I have

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been in the past, I shall probably one day achieve

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the proud position of being the richest man in the world.

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I did not like to undertake myself the responsibility of

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advising or suggesting, so I simply said, I cannot venture

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to say off hand what would be the most acceptable

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way of showing your great kindness and generosity. But I

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should certainly recommend you to put yourself in communication with

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the Dean. Thank you, sir, said my Australian friend. I

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will do so. And now, sir, he continued, let me

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say how much I admire your voice. It is, without exception,

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the very finest and clearest voice I have ever heard. Really,

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I answered, quite overcome with such unqualified praise. Really, it

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is it is very good of you to say so, ah,

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But I feel it, my dear sir. I have been

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round the world, from Sydney to Frisco, across the continent

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of America he called it America, to New York City,

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then on to England, and tomorrow I shall leave your

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city to continue my travels. But in all my experience

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I have never heard so grand a voice as your own.

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This and a great deal more, he said, in the

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same strain which modesty forbids me to reproduce. Now, I

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am not without some knowledge of the world outside the

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close of Marchbury Cathedral, and I could not listen to

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such a flattering tale without having my suspicions aroused. Who

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and what is this man? Thought I. I looked at

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him narrowly. At first the thought flashed across me that

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he might be a swell mobsman. But no, his face

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was too good for that. Besides, no man with that

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huge frame, that personality, so marked and so easily recognizable,

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could be a swindler. He could not escape detection a

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single hour. I dismissed the ungenerous thought. Perhaps he is rich,

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as he says, we do hear of munificent donations by

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benevolent millionaires. Now and then, what if this Australian, attracted

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by the glories of the old cathedral should now appear

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as a deus ex machina to re endow the choir

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or to found a musical professorate in connection with the choir,

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appointing me the first occupant of the professorial chair. These

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thoughts flashed across my mind in the momentary pause of

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his fluent tongue. As for yourself, sir, he began again,

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I have something to propose, which I trust may not

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prove unwelcome. But the public street is hardly a suitable

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place to discuss my proposal. May I call upon you

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this evening at your house in the close I know

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which it is, for I happened to see you go

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into it yesterday after the morning service. I shall be

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very pleased to see you, I replied. We are going

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out to dinner this evening, but I shall be at

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home and disengaged till about seven. Thank you very much.

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Then I shall do myself the pleasure of calling upon

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you about six o'clock till then farewell. A graceful wave

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of the hand, and my unknown friend had disappeared round

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the corner of the street. Now at last I thought,

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something is going to happen in my uneventful life, something

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to break the monotony of existence. Of course, he must

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have inquired my name. He could get that from any

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of the cathedral Vergures, and as he said, he had

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observed whereabouts in the clothes I lived. But I was

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not to see him again till six o'clock, and there

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were three good hours to wait. I recalled all that

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happened on the Sunday. It seemed as if some special

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providence was acting in my favor. It was due to

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the illness and absence of my college that I had

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had the good fortune to officiate. Surely this was providential,

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and I am ashamed to say that I was, in

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one way realizing the truth of the famous maxim of

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La Rochefouclt, in deriving a secret satisfaction from the misfortunes

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of my friends. Still, it was remarkable that it should

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happen thus, and it was undoubtedly true that on that

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particular Sunday I was an excellent voice. And then the

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vanity which is natural to all men, asserted itself in me,

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and I found myself only too ready to believe that

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my voice was the finest and clearest ever heard. Somebody's

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must be the finest, and why not mine. My mysterious friend,

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whatever else he might be, was most certainly a man

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of good taste and judgment that could not be denied.

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And then, as he had said he was rich, plenty

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of money, he said he had. What is he coming

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to see me for, I wondered. I spent the rest

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of the afternoon in making the wildest surmises I was

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castle building in Spain at a furious rate. At one

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time I imagined that this faithful son of the Church,

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as he appeared to me, was going to build and

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endow a grand cathedral in Australia, on condition that I

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should be appointed dean at a yearly stipend of say,

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ten thousand pounds. At another time I imagined him asking

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me to become his private chaplain at about the same remuneration. Again,

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I thought he might offer to educate my three boys

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at his own expense, provided that special attention should be

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given to the development of their natural musical genius. Or

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perhaps I said to myself, he will beg me to

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accept a sum of money. I never thought of it

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as less than a thousand pounds, As a slight recognition

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of and tribute to my remarkable vocal ability, I confess

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I always came back to this last conjecture as the

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most probable the others seemed rather wild in their fancifulness.

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I took a long, lonely walk into the country to

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correct these ridiculous fancies and to steady my mind. And

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when I reached home and had refreshed myself with a

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quiet cup of afternoon tea, I felt I was morally

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and physically prepared for my interview with the opulent stranger. Punctually,

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as the cathedral clock struck six, there was a ring

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at the visitor's bell. In a moment or two, my

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unknown friend was shown into the drawing room, which he

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entered with the easy air of a man of the world.

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I noticed he was carrying a small black bag. How

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do you do again, mister Dale, he said, as though

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we were old acquaintances. You see I have come sharp

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to my time. Yes, I answered, and I am pleased

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to see you. Do sit down. He sank into my

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best arm chair and placed his bag on the floor

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beside him. Since we met this afternoon, he said, I

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have written a letter to your Dean expressing the great

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pleasure I felt in listening to your choir, And at

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the same time I enclosed a five pound note, which

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I begged him to divide among the choir boys and

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men from Alexander Poulter, esquire of Poulter's Pills. You have,

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of course heard of the world renowned Poulter's Pills. I

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am Poulter Poulter of Poulter's Pills. My heart sank within

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me a five pound note. My airy castles were tottering.

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I also sent him a couple hundred of my pamphlets,

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which I said I trusted he would be so kind

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as to distribute in the clothes. I was aghast. And now,

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with regard to the special object of my call, mister Dale,

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if you will allow me to say so, you are

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not making the most of that grand voice of yours.

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You are hiding under an ecclesiastical bushel here lost to

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the world. You are wasting your vocal strength and sweetness

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on the desert air, so to speak. Why, if I

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may hazard to guess, I don't suppose you make five

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hundred a year here at the outside, I could say nothing. Well,

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now I can put you into the way of making

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at least three or four times as much as that. Listen,

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I am Alexander Poulter of Palter's Pills. I have a

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proposal to make to you the scheme is bound to succeed,

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But I want your help. Accept my proposal, and your

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fortunes made. Did you ever hear of moody and Sankeie,

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he asked abruptly. The man is an idiot, thought I.

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He is now fairly carried away with his particular mania.

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Will at last long shall I ring novelty? My dear sir,

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he went on, is the rule of the day, and

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there must be novelty in advertising, as in everything else,

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to catch the public interest. So I intend to go

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on a tour lecturing on the merits of Poulter's Pills

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in all the principal halls of all the principal towns

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all over the world. But I have been delayed in

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carrying out my idea till I could associate myself with

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a gentleman such as yourself. Will you join me. I

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should be the Moody of the tour. You would be

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its sankee. I would speak my patter, and you would

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intersperse my orations with melodious ballads bearing upon the virtues

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of Poulter's Pills. The ballads are all ready so saying.

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He opened that bag and drew forth from its recesses.

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Nothing more alarming than a thick roll of manuscript music.

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The verses are my own, he said, with a little

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touch of pride. And as for the music, I thought

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it better to make use of popular melodies so as

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to enable an audience to join in the chorus. See

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here is one of the ballads, Darling, I am better now.

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It describes the woes of a fond lover, or rather

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his physical ailments until he went through a course of Poulter.

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Here's another. I'm ninety five. I'm ninety five. You catch

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the drift of that. Of course, a healthy old age

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secured by taking Poulter's pills. Ah, what's this little sister's

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last request? I fancy the idea of that is to

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beg the family, never to be without Poulter's pills. Here again,

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then you'll remember me. I'm afraid that title is not original.

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Never mind, the song is, and here is. But there

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are many, mor'n. I won't detain you with them now,

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he saw. Perhaps I was getting impatient. Thank heaven, however,

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he was no escaped lunatic. I was safe, mister Poulter said,

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I I took you this afternoon for a disinterested and

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philanthropic millionaire. You take me for for something different from

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what I am. We have both made mistakes. In a word,

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it is impossible for me to accept your offer. Is

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that final? Asked Poulter, certainly, said I. Poulter gathered his

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manuscripts together and replaced them in the bag, and got

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up to leave the room. Good evening, mister Dale, he

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said mournfully as I opened the door of the room.

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Good evening. He kept on talking till he was fairly

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out of the house. Mark my words, You'll be sorry,

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very sorry, one day that you you did not fall

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in with my scheme. Offers like mine don't come every day,

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and you will one day regret having refused it. With

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these words, he left the house. I had little appetite

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for my dinner that evening.