Speaker 1: All right, So the fire drill, I guess doesn't go well.
Lee notes, if it was real, body.
Speaker 2: Takes you're making could be fatal.
Speaker 1: Everyone would be dead. And then he takes a lot
of time to express what a bunch of fuck ups
everybody is, especially you, porcupied head.
Speaker 2: He says, we lost to people today. Are you out
of your goddamn mind? Welcome aboard another brand spanking new
episode of another Below Deck podcast. It's the Patreon exclusive,
but I'm thinking we had a conversation about it. This
is one of the greatest episodes I've ever seen. I
didn't know that this kind of mutiny could exist on
Below Deck. I don't know how Lee ever came back
from a performance like this, So I don't know. We
might put it out for you, who knows. We'll see
how it goes.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, if you're hearing it, I guess you one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you won. I'm Dylan settled up next to pat
permission to come aboard? Granted? Uh, do you feel the
same way I feel about this episode?
Speaker 1: Oh? If we're going to get into our thoughts and not,
I have a lot of thoughts out of the gate
on this Pilar episode.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, then, if you have a ton, let me
just give mine real quick. I'll say again, I do
not know how Lee recovered from this episode and then
the episode after this. This episode he cements himself as
the kind of leader who is so awful and so
toxic that his managerial style and tone and cadence could
lead to nothing other than a mutiny. You know these
bosses that are just so unbelievably awful out of fucking nowhere.
I don't care if you're having problems at home, you
cannot behave this way towards people. The next episode, he
fucks off and goes golfing. This guy is awful, awful.
In the first season particularly, he got better, but oh
my god, I've never seen anything this bad.
Speaker 1: Ninety nine pots, Dylan, you nailed it on the head, brother. Okay,
but there's a little bit more to that critique of
Captain Lee, a little more nuanced to it. This episode,
this particular episode was the one that solidified him as Lee. Okay, yeah,
there was a fork in the road. You know, what
kind of asshole? What kind of person was he going
to be?
Speaker 2: On TV? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, ah do I beat a nice captain with
a hardy sense of humor or an angry old graise
old prick. Yeah, yeah, I think I know which one.
I like.
Speaker 2: This is like in Amazon's Ring of Power when Sauron
looks back at the camera all assassy an email, you know,
like the guy from My Chemical Romance and he hath
become the dark Lord. Oh yes, you know.
Speaker 1: Lee became Lee in this episode, the one that we've
gotten familiar with. He I disagree with you on one point, Dylan,
he has not gotten better. Jesus, this is the Lee
that continues. I think he was wobbling back and forth
about who he would be on the show, like trying
to find his footing, like where do I fit in here?
He found it.
Speaker 2: He's like, this feels good. I'm going to ruin everyone's
fucking live.
Speaker 1: When Lee showed up in this episode to threaten CJ
for wearing Dave's pants in the.
Speaker 2: Jacuzzi, thish, my god, it was.
Speaker 1: Darth Vader finally having that mask retrofitted to his face.
Yeah it was it. No, it was Lee became Lee.
And so I like a good Orange origin story. So
seventy knots.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's get into it. We left off
last with Hey Dell before you start this is it's
so weird because there are blocks in this show that
I think are just completely missing and production is It's
kind of like they were exhausted at various different points
of the season and they succumb to the unlikelihood of
it being a show any longer. So they were just like,
fuck it.
Speaker 1: You know, no rules, this doesn't make sense, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Maybe the audience doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It's not like when you watch reality TV like Housewives,
generally you're seeing a glass of wine during a conversation
go up and down like it. It has no continuity.
They say, fuck it to the continuity.
Speaker 2: And they're right, it doesn't matter, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well it does kind of in this one because we
have a new word in the terminology of Below Deck.
Apparently there's a position called the relief captain. I guess
a relief picture of sorts. If something happens to Lee
in the seventh ending, we call Fred in, but Fred
wouldn't be called in because we have porcupine head.
Speaker 2: And also, how how could you just start an episode
off with a complete fucking stranger in the four throw
a chiron up that says relief ca and have us
just go all right, I guess so, you know, it's
the exact opposite. I don't know who directed Ben Hurb,
but you know how he was like, kill more horses.
It doesn't matter, that's for I mean, it's psychopathic, but
it's for a vision. You know, he's convicted about his vision.
This is just ambivalence. They don't give a fuck, you know.
I mean it's really disgusting stuff.
Speaker 1: A spit in the face, big time man.
Speaker 2: So the two booze bags go shopping with one another.
They have a chat about switching the room, and Ben
will ultimately concede to switching with Cat. But he's still
he's so uh, spiky haired and British about the whole thing.
He's just like he likes that he has the power.
Speaker 1: Dolly, you pointed something now to me that I hadn't caught. Now,
drink every time he ends a sentence if it doesn't
end in the word darling, because every sentence ends with
the word darling. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And and we're not in Russia with love or anything
like that. We're just we're just sea rats.
Speaker 1: I want to give some sea rats some advice. Adrian
and Ben as a business person, definitely don't buy food
from a grocery store chain. When you need to buy
this many you go to like Cotsco.
Speaker 2: Or Sam's Club something.
Speaker 1: It could be cost prohibitive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's a whopping seven hundred dollars bill.
Would I don't even want to who cares the fact
that they tried to pull off that seven hundred dollars
was a lot cerd amount of money.
Speaker 1: I mean, even pro rated for inflation with twenty thirteen numbers,
it really is.
Speaker 2: Not that not that much money. Oh.
Speaker 1: I do want to point out when Adrian and Ben
discuss this bunk swapping, I believe the old switchero would
involve porcupine Head too. No one discussed this with him.
Speaker 2: It's so insane that they don't speak to Alex aka
porcupine Head at all about this. He is just an
afterthought in all of this. Who do you want on
anchor watch? I don't know? Lee gets an okay, Lee
has asked who he wants on anchor wash, and he
just goes, I don't care. And then he gets a
phone call saying that he's just his feet are up
and he's just waiting for something to get angry about like,
I don't what.
Speaker 1: You would have thought. Someone told him Pearl Harbor was
being bombed for a second time.
Speaker 2: Someone's canceling a someone's canceling a charter. That's it. Somebody's
canceling a charter. He goes, He gets over the walkie
and he's like, try to act like it.
Speaker 1: God damn been here before.
Speaker 2: It's like, what is that? What does that even mean?
The Sea Rights are obviously elated. They're averse to work.
Speaker 1: And they already begin putting their itineraries together for their
day afterwhile I'm gonna get blackout drunk some miniature golf
followed by a little drinking until I fall down and
perhaps I'm skipping something. Oh I want to be blackout drunk. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And it's this thing where you're like, whoa, whoa,
whoa Sea Rat Did you say that you wanted to
get blackout? That is nuts. I don't know if we
can pull that off. This is when the fire drills
begin to kind of seep into the episode. He we
We've talked about this in the past, but Lee seems
to be doing this to prove to Alex that he
is porcupine head and not capable of manning this vessel.
If Lee was in charge of these sea rats and
he had to do this fire drill, you know how
he fell in the shower and like bruised a rib
or something like that. That's what happened. That's what would
happen to him if he tried to pull off this
fire drill. Because he's doing he's laying out these impossible
tasks for Porcupine to to hit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's gonna give him a time where this alarm
is gonna go off and he can't share this with
the fellow sea rats or he's going to be on
double secret probation. Yeah, here's what I'll say to Leelee,
take your foot off this poor man's neck. Okay, you
are the captain, Yeah, okay. But what I love about
all this is Porcupine's starting to turn up. Until this point,
he's remained a certain level of respectfully or at least pretending.
So now he's actively saying things like, oh, I bet
that old fuck will throw out a hip or right. Meanwhile,
I hadn't realized what a fucking suck up Eddie is.
To Grandpa Lee, it's gross.
Speaker 2: Eddie is the standard of excellence. That has to be
achieved on this boat is known only to Eddie, and
Eddie is looking around at these sea rats and he's going,
this is yachting. He is the Tom Hanks of this
softball team, but in like a way more world drunks.
We're not actually on a softball team. Kind of leave
us alone, gross kind of you know what I mean.
It's like when somebody tries to establish themselves as like
a leader of the beachhead but you're all just sun tanning.
It's like, what's going on? Why just sit down and
calm down?
Speaker 1: Sit down?
Speaker 2: So Kat is told that she is switching rooms, and
she is indignant that the conversation was had without her
about her about a request that she formally made adamantly
and drunkenly. So this is when you can start to
see the schizophrenia of a orhosis laden drunk. You start
to come out.
Speaker 1: Oh Ben, we'll give it to her later on yeah,
the next episode. But I want to say, not only
was she upset about not being informed of this room decision,
but she also thinks it's because Adrian sucked his dick.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Darling. Sam is cuddling Cej and
Sam is starting to really piss me off with this
whole CJ's gross thing. Listen me too, Women, Barbie, patriarchy, bad,
all of it. Couldn't agree more. Men just suck you
know what I mean, We're horrible.
Speaker 1: I've had it too good for too long, Dylan.
Speaker 2: But enough with the I'm grossed out with him or
by him. Also, I wrap my legs over him during
the day when I'm bored. There's a difference between being
grossed out by somebody, but every once in a while
getting horny, and.
Speaker 1: That might be what's happening here, Dylan.
Speaker 2: It is what's happening. But that should happen at two
o'clock in the morning, drunk and you feel bad the
next day. It shouldn't be a lucid flirting Haitian active
flirtation with a constant ramping up to this romantic fucking that.
It's like, just listen. If you're embarrassed about it, that's fine,
but don't be outwork. You guys are sea rats, disgusting regardless,
So just you know, sit in the pocket and suck
each other off. I don't know, I don't want to
hear about it anymore, my god, So Kat confronts Ben and.
Speaker 1: About the whole sucking dick part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the whole talking to Adrian without addressing here her.
And this is where I'm thinking, like, Cat is very
indignant that they just made this decision, even though she
was the one that asked them to make the decision.
But porcupine head, where is porcupine head? He's getting He's
getting his fucking butthole reamed up in the crow's nest
by Lee. He has no agency in this whatsoever. And
Cat's having a fucking drunk Rhode Island meltdown about it.
Speaker 1: By the way, it's a dumb gripe and Ben thinks
Kat's insane, but that will not prohibit him from well
having sex with later.
Speaker 2: On, Yeah, darling, darling, Yeah, yeah, they do have sex.
Speaker 1: By the way, I think that The next day is
when he calls her a white trash trailer park demon refuge. Gee. Yeah,
that's not good side bedside manner.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's a yucky thing to say to somebody.
But you know, drunks are frustrating. Drunks will get you
to places where you go how can I help you?
Let's try breaking you down, man. Now, that usually doesn't work.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be funny if he he redid those lines? Darling,
you're a white trash trailer park demon refugee. It's like,
I'm not a refugee.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She takes some birds with the refugee.
She's like, my family's been in Rhode Island for three
four generations. No, this is where Kat goes. I used
to be a track Okay, so this is this is listen.
I'm not talking about physical appearance, and I'm not trying
to be a chauvinist or anything, but Kat is gross
in this moment.
Speaker 1: I'll say this. She was on the sauce.
Speaker 2: That's what's gross about it. She's fucked up. She's like,
this is okay. So if a lot lizard, and I'm
not saying Kat is a lot lizard, but if a
lot lizard came up to you and knocked on your
door and said, you know, I can suck you off
for fifty dollars I keep my dentures in or I
can take them out, and you go, no thanks, and
they try to stab you and you evade it and
shut the door and they go, I thought you were cute,
not anymore. It would be a laughable thing.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 2: Now it's a bit of a false equivalency, but it's
not that far off. Jesus Christy.
Speaker 1: She's got to be on the show next week. Oh really, yeah,
I think we'll have her on. Okay, I want to
get to that fire drill.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm excited to talk to her about
her progress with this.
Speaker 1: I think she's done well. Really, yeah, that's great. Talk
to her a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, all right, so there's a fire in the
engine room. There's a fire in the engine room. There
is not a fire in the engine room. Shut the
fuck up, leave us alonely.
Speaker 1: I did like how they do this where it's not
just a you know what. I've worked at a lot
of office buildings where they do the fake fire drill. Yeah,
it never involves actually creating smoke and then putting it
next to a fire. What do you call those things
in on walls whatever? Fire alarms?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we did that here.
Speaker 1: That was interesting. They actually create smoke. You didn't catch that.
Speaker 2: They could just yank it, they could.
Speaker 1: But they don't. They actually put smoke in the fire alarm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to make sure that it's working.
Speaker 1: In a specific area, so that the crew needs to
find out where that fire is. It makes sense to me.
Speaker 2: I guess that's cool, but it's also very very dumb,
and I think it's the worst thing that I've ever
seen lead do. This is a scumbag fuck face move
because he knows that. I can't put my finger on
what's so gross about it. But they have this day
off and he's not going to let them have it
without facing some fucking with them. Yeah, he has to
torment them. And it reminds me of so many bosses,
particularly one where you are you know, like there's let's
say you get the day off, but we'll just hang
around so you can't leave. But you know, it's just like,
what what are you doing tormenting people? Do you not
have a fucking life to live? Go away that kind
of thing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. We are all required
to be at an event, yeah yeah, yeah, and out
with our families. There's no purpose of us being mandated
to be at an event, right right, other than control
of that preck Yeah yeah. Yeah. Every once in a
while I questioned that boss that I think we're talking about, yeah,
and I'm like, no, he was a dick. Yeah yeah, yeah, he's.
Speaker 2: A day, yeah, or possibly worse. Who are you talking about?
Speaker 1: You know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: I think everybody knows who I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, this is on like this might be on
the free feed. I beat that out, willya? I don't
want to get in trouble.
Speaker 2: Okay, please, so let's move on. Yeah, and it might
not be on the freefeed. Who knows?
Speaker 1: Okay? All right, So the fire drill, I guess doesn't
go well. Lee notes, if it was real, take making
could be fatal. Everyone would be dead. And then he
takes a lot of time to express what a bunch
of fuck ups everybody is, especially you, porcupined head.
Speaker 2: He says, we lost two people today. Are you out
of your goddamn mind? What do you do?
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 2: Fucking deer hunter? Where are we right now? You melodramatic,
fucking lunatic Dylan.
Speaker 1: It is also at this moment, during this ti rate
of Lee, that we get the first sta He's gonna
get someone's ass.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is it. Yep. This is one of
the little hydraulic shooting offs out of one of David
Vader's little things. It adds to the kind of firm
placement of Lee being quite literally the evil villain of
this show. You know, everybody says, oh, he's your favorite captain. No, no, no,
He's the antagonistic force of Below Deck.
Speaker 1: It's worth noting here, Dylan, that this is where Porcupine,
I think we hear his first critique of Captain Lee.
He says that Porcupine says, I'm eighty years younger than Lee,
but I'm still experienced as him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I wouldn't. I think he's probably right about that.
You know, we gave Porcupine had a hard time, but
over these last two episodes, he's really cemented himself as
a really solid captain. You know, he puts up with
Lee's shit, he puts up with the sea rat shit.
But the problem is he's dealing with quite literally, the
craziest crew we've ever had, the saddest, dumbest, craziest crew
we've ever had. We've got Sam, We've got Cat, We've
got CJ. These three just right off the rip are
some of the worst people we've ever had on the show.
And they all get together and cuddle and study in CJ's.
Speaker 1: Bottom how not to burn people.
Speaker 2: Yep, So let's get to the nicest restaurant we've ever
been to. Obviously, we've got some alcohol flowing at this point,
so obviously people start screaming at each other and.
Speaker 1: It's all over that fucking fire drill man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, people are pissed, and I don't like
I don't like the way that Eddie got all princess
diaries about it.
Speaker 1: Again, people are trying to, in my opinion at this point,
trying to eke out who what my persona on this
show because this is gonna be big, right, and Eddie
is the moral authority. I'd say later seasons wouldn't exactly
exhibit that.
Speaker 2: No, he banged somebody on top of a drying.
Speaker 1: Machine with a girlfriend and then lied about it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's right, that was the whole infidelity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he probably should have when someone came to and
complained that a coworker called them the end word, he
probably should have moved that up to the top two round.
You just hold that at at middle management half mass.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yikes. So to be fair to Eddie, though, Kat
and CJ are acting like a bunch of fucking annoying.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I totally agree. But then just go to
the bar and order a martinian, I don't know, hit
on the girl next to you. Yeah, shut up, don't
announce that you're going back to the boat.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So back inside the nicest restaurant, things are not
going well. Everyone is pissed off, and the waiter I
think fucking hates them and Adrian hates him right back. He,
I guess, has failed to deliver their food not once,
but two times. An Adrian, who has fucked up herself, says,
awful person. You're an awful person. And I was like,
the guy was one of those mustached, kind of jigglo
looking motherfuckers. So I don't think that he really understood
what was going on, but I think had he, Adrian
might have been killed. Yeah, because he looked like he
had some kind of small blade on him.
Speaker 1: Now, Dylan, it's worth mentioning. At this point, I'm not
sure if Eddie left yet, but Kat tells us she
doesn't tell the people at the table, but she shares
this sentiment where she's at at this stage of the night.
She says, I'm drunk, I'm horny, and I'm bored. Get
that on a T shirt.
Speaker 2: Yep, again, that's another that's another sea rat Crest right there. So, uh,
the issue is that these these sea rats are pissed
and now there's no food coming, so naturally we gradually
we graduate from screaming at the table to form tackling
Cat to the ground and slamming her head on the concrete.
You know, there's only one way you can go, of course.
Speaker 1: Uh so.
Speaker 2: That is when Kat walks into Chef Ben's room.
Speaker 1: Back on the boat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she says, I'm bored, I'm horny, and what
I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: And and I'm bored. Yeah, I'm drunk, I'm horning and I'm.
Speaker 2: I'm drunk, I'm horning in I'm bored. So yeah, she
walks in there, and the sex sounds are they make
you want to throw up, they really do. They're I
don't want to think about Ben and Cat having It's
just it's makes me sad.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, Ben, though he's got some good side
bed what is.
Speaker 2: It good Ben side man?
Speaker 1: He doesn't kiss and tell Darling. Well, Ben, we all
thought you guys were discussing the barbarian invasions of the
Roman Empire, not escorting fluids on each other's sea rat faces,
because that's what you were doing.
Speaker 2: And there goes the Roman Empire again. Did you know
that Caesar was never technically an emperor? I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Where'd you hear that?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, there was a Twitter video that came out Twitter.
Huh oh X I saw this thing on X. Fucking
I don't know how these billionaires come off as dorks.
I mean, I understand so many of them are dorks,
but like, don't do dorkier things. You know, somebody was
talking about the other day David Blaine performing magic to
black people in the hood compared to David Blaine performing
magic to Jeff Bezos. One is vastly superior to watch
than the other. Oh yeah, you know, David Blaine is
doing magic in the hood and people are freaking out
and running around and making fun of people, and then
he does a magic trick for Jeff Bezos and he's
just like, It's like, oh my god. But anyways, there
was this video on x dot com and it was
of all of the emperors, a lot of which were
a lot and there were women too.
Speaker 1: I'll get out of here. Yeah that's good to hear.
Speaker 2: Irene and others. And I kept scrubbing through it trying
to find old jewels. Couldn't find it, looked it up.
Speaker 3: Technicality, ah h yeah, the technicality was he was more
of like a big, big general, maybe some person of congress.
Speaker 1: We should call him General Caesar.
Speaker 2: Then yeah, well that's why they killed him. He was
a dictatorial maniac. But he brought in he ushered in
the kind of era of the emperor. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What was that post. I don't want to spend too
much time on it. Someone said that we mentioned the
Roman Empire and then they said, guys are obsessed with
Roman Empire.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was. I think it was today.
Speaker 1: Well that's because there was a movie called Gladiator that's
fucking awesome.
Speaker 2: Well, it's also because the Roman Empire is kind of
the foundation of civilization and yeah, Western civilization and boys
like to play pretend and you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also I think we liked the idea of
games like uh an arena filled with you know, I
don't know if this is true, but they said this,
at some point, you had to keep upping the annie
for the audience. You know, all your serfs and whatnot.
You know, they're farming all day, you know, every second
Saturday of the month. You got to fill that arena
filled with people ready to kill each other in front
of you because it's fun. Yeah, and then after twenty
years that gets boring. So then you got to put
a bunch of water in it and then re enact
famous battles, right, But that gets boring, right, So then
you drain it, and then you start letting wild animals
in there to eat humans because that's more fun, right,
And then everything just gets just completely savage. And then,
wouldn't you know it, a complete society and culture created
its own demise.
Speaker 2: So we get to the next day, and this is
when we go ahead and go for another fire drill.
The sea rats are still blacked out.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is Lee upon hearing that everybody is asleep.
I forget who told him that little piece of information.
Speaker 2: It's it's his fucking the Pagoda to his royal tenenbaumb nash.
Speaker 1: Oh, nash oh. He is a double agent that.
Speaker 2: Like God, I can't stand him. I think he's a
nasty little prick.
Speaker 1: He never showed back up, I don't think. Well. Nash
goes up there a little finger and he's like, hey boss,
everyone's asleep. Yeah, works for me. Pull it.
Speaker 2: You've seen you know, Pagoda you know the g I'm
talking about.
Speaker 1: You said the Royal Tennant Bombs. Was he the same
guy that was also in Bottles?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: What was their first film before Rushmore?
Speaker 2: Bottle Rocket?
Speaker 1: Is it called Bottle Rocket? I think was he the
one in that one as well?
Speaker 2: I don't know. He was like a little Yeah, he's
in every one of his movies. Yeah, I seen and
he comes in and he sees Danny Glen. He goes,
what's going on? Coltrane? He goes, what did you just
call me? He goes, nothing? Do you call me Coltrane?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, I didn't, I'd call you.
Speaker 1: Uh. I saw that movie. I have no idea what
that movie is about.
Speaker 2: It's just about a dysfunctional family, that's it.
Speaker 1: Huh yeah, huh. I like Rushmore a lot more. It
made more sense.
Speaker 2: You gotta watch Royal ten of Bums again. It cast
to a perfect movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what people tell me. But I saw in
the movie theater. I was not impressed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you should watch it again, and you should
watch the A pouted, all right, Well you will, you will.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna eventually watch.
Speaker 2: I am so excited to get to APS because it
is about one of your favorite movies of all time?
Speaker 1: What movie is that?
Speaker 2: Back to the Future.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't wait. Yep, you know I know a
lot about that movie. I don't know if you're gonna
be able to surprise me with anything.
Speaker 2: Well, did you know that it predicted nine to eleven?
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: Well, can color yourself fucking unaware that it predicted nine
to eleven?
Speaker 1: Is that one of the dates that shows up on
the in the Dolorean? It shows up everywhere. How timely
have you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, tragedy happened on Monday?
Speaker 1: You know this whole fire drill business. I think this
was a nauseating trope that Lee wanted to make a thing,
and I don't think it ever resurfaced or showed itself again.
On the Belowdeck franchise.
Speaker 2: They get to the point where, and speaking of fire drills,
everybody knows that according to the Fairbank study, the building
number seven couldn't have fallen that way just based on fires.
But joking, Lee gets them all to get to the
point of abandoning ship and it's just like, hey, asshole,
can we just if you want to make us work
and tidy up the boat before we go out? And
have a day. That's fine, but can we not do
this thing where you make us get on these giant, cumbersome,
fucking nylon stretchy suits and then bring us up into
your quarters and shit on all of us for not
doing what was essentially a perfect fire drone. They hit,
they knock it out of the park, and Lee afterwards
brings everybody up to his his quarters and he asks
c J why he walked out of his room without
a shirt on?
Speaker 1: If this is what we're well, Actually, he yelled at
him because he was taking the time to find a
shirt to put on. So your point is, why didn't
you just walk out naked? There's a fucking fire.
Speaker 2: No, he wanted him to put a shirt on his face,
Oh I see, and he came out. He was like,
there's there's smoke everywhere. Why didn't you put a shirt
on over your well? Because there isn't smoke everywhere, you
old fucking maniac, that's why. So he he begins to
quite li literally lose his fucking mind over these minute details.
And it's the kind of leadership where the people you
are managing are confused, weirded out, and then angered bye,
And it gets the opposite result that he was looking for.
They all hate him now.
Speaker 1: Well, also he's got a you know, every real dick
as a manager, supervisor, whatnot. They always need a fucking
uh a side a side guy, and for me that's Nash.
Because Nash is a little fucking prick too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a little fucking snake.
Speaker 1: Yeah, boss, you're doing it right, yeah mmmmm, get out
of here, Nash.
Speaker 2: All right, So everybody heads out for a nice day.
Speaker 1: Well, because he unleashed on them, they need and they
weren't happy with his feedback. So blow off a little
steam after such a reaming. Of course, you're gonna go
to the beach and you're gonna get fucking blackout drum.
Speaker 2: That's it, did, That's fucking it. Then and Adrian are
gonna stay back while the rest of the Sea rats
go to Cocoa Beach. Cat's ready to room with Alex,
who's got a bigger dick than Adrian. Um and Kat
is jealous of Adrian and Ben Kat they're working. You're
drunk again, gone down. Everyone is in the jacuzzie when
they get back, and this is when Lee comes down
to have another shit fit.
Speaker 1: Mister poopy pants, there to spoil the fun threatened CJ
for swapping shorts with Dave and the jacuzzi.
Speaker 2: He says, if you if I see you in there
without shorts on, you're fired. This is after screaming at
them over a fire drill that was sprung on them
while they were still asleep that they executed to a
probably nine out of ten level. The guy is fucking angry.
He is the kind if there were two warring factions
of let's say farmers. Let's say this is a small
scale warp okay. Lee is the commander of one group
of farmers.
Speaker 1: I assume this is overland or trade.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's overland, okay. And there's another guy, you know,
nameless whatever. They all meet in a quarry, and Lee's
treatment of his soldiers is akin to what's been going
on here. When the battle starts, the Lee raises his
saber and starts marching. Before he knows it, he gets
his fucking head chopped off from behind, and they go,
we'll join your team. That's it. We're not fighting you guys.
That's what would happen. That's the kind of inspiration that
he has kind of rallied.
Speaker 1: And you sound like me. The last three and a
half years doing this goddamn podcast.
Speaker 2: I think that my ire today is warranted. I think yours.
I mean, you may have been picking up on something,
but I don't think he's ever been as bad as
he was this episode. He was awful. So knight sets in.
Ben is drinking wine and bathing. He makes some killer
pizzas with foa and steak and mos capone, and that's
when Lee comes out to deliver some great news. No
one's going out, dude.
Speaker 1: Kat comes up with a new name for Leaf for
this what's that fucker? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what he's being. It's like, what
is going on with you, Captain Ratchett? Why are you
trying to torture all of us? It's really fucking bizarre.
Speaker 1: It sucks, by the way. The night before I think
this is when Kat offers to give Ben a blowjob.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: At least worth mentioning. Yeah. And then Eddie, that little
suck ass. He's talking about the crew members not having respectfully,
how do you like working on a tugboat? Ohio, Eddie,
because that's where suck asses end out.
Speaker 2: The suck ass all right, So Kat is getting shit faced,
and she's losing her mind again. Interrogating Adrian and Ben,
she is, okay, I'm trying to think of a pop
culture reference. Oh, I got it, Happy Gil Oh, Nope,
I got it. Billy Madison when he sees the penguin.
Speaker 1: Hell, that is.
Speaker 2: What that is what Cat is going through with Adrian.
Speaker 1: That are hearing voices yeah from walls, right, right right.
She's not in a good state of mind.
Speaker 2: She is, She's losing her goddamn gord. And that is
when Ben says she is like a white trash trailer
park demonic refugee. And I think that's when we have
the episode.
Speaker 1: Well, she tries to sneak off the boat. Oh. She
goes and asks permission to Captain Lee. Hey, I want
to go for a stroll. Nope, why not, Captain Lee?
Come on, you're nice, Captain Lee. Nope, I'm just gonna
go for a stroll. I don't think that's what you're
gonna do.
Speaker 2: She turns into Ethan Hunt and I can't believe I
tried to end the episode without talking about James Spawn.
She sneaks up one of the fucking many exit routes
for this porous boat.
Speaker 1: Well, she might have gotten away with it if she
wasn't had a big fat guy with a boom mic
over his shoulder and two cameramen, she might have gotten
away with it well.
Speaker 2: Also, Lee has positioned himself in a vantage point where
he can really see everything that's going on. And he's
not even reading, he's not even playing fruit Ninja, and
he's not upstairs in his room. He's in the hallway
by all of their rooms so that he can watch them.
You grumpy old fuck, get out of here and leave
adults alone. What is this a sixth grade field trip?
Are we at astro camp right now? You lose her?
God damn it. He was so horrible this episode.
Speaker 1: He was, And by the way, it gets more horrible
in the next episode. They did something that I think
the labor board, even if it was in whatever country,
they are, Oh my god, you you don't do something
correctly for your job, so therefore he can ding you
pay tip money, so you can either take the ding
on pay or you're fired.
Speaker 2: Not to mention, someone says that they have a medical
issue and he goes, you're a fucking liar. I mean,
holy shit, the season is It's good in like a
taxicab confession kind of way like it's a very grimy, dirty,
sad season, and I'm happy that they've cleaned it up
a little bit. I'm happy that the lenses are a
little bit more dusted off, but it's still entertaining, nonetheless,
jumping the iTunes rating to reviews, Jump in the comments,
let us know what you thought about the episode. I'm
doing saying Goodbye Pat, Say Goodbye Stotting Mista