WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:02.279 Okay, up top. Just so you know, this is a 2 00:00:02.319 --> 00:00:07.879 weird episode. Topics, weird a format, weird audio, weird. Stick 3 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.199 with me. It's worth it to the end, I promise. Okay, 4 00:00:10.519 --> 00:00:13.199 Oh hey, it's your friend's kid who's hitting you with 5 00:00:13.240 --> 00:00:16.600 a pool noddle Ali ward and come with me as 6 00:00:16.719 --> 00:00:21.559 I research prep for get a colonoscopy and then learn 7 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:24.760 some alarming results. Will you? Okay? So I'm proud of 8 00:00:24.760 --> 00:00:26.800 you number one for being here. It's an investment in 9 00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:29.719 your health. Or maybe you're just here because you like butts, 10 00:00:30.199 --> 00:00:32.600 or you want to hear some hot gossip about mine. 11 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:35.759 Maybe someone who cares about you sent this is like 12 00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:41.280 a friendly, encouraging Valentine straight up your rectum. But here's 13 00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:45.840 what's up. I needed a colonoscopy, and, like one would imagine, 14 00:00:45.880 --> 00:00:49.079 I was not thrilled at this prospect. But I have 15 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:52.200 lost a few loved ones to colon cancer, and I've 16 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:55.880 seen firsthand how gnarly it is to have cancer in 17 00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.240 your guts. And little known word trivia. So my dad 18 00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:03.960 had blood cancer for nine years, but his chemotherapy had 19 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:08.239 the side effect of causing colon cancer possibly, and it 20 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:11.680 was actually that undetected for too long, which ultimately. 21 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:11.920 Took us life. 22 00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:15.319 So this episode is personal really, like in every way possible, 23 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:17.840 and maybe for you too. One in sixteen people in 24 00:01:17.879 --> 00:01:22.159 America will get colon cancer and zero in sixteen like 25 00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:26.640 talking about it. So if this intestinal odyssey helps one 26 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.239 person get screened, I guess it's worth the potential embarrassment. 27 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:32.000 And trust me, there's a lot of embarrassment in this. 28 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:34.760 One of my favorite things that I've learned from your 29 00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:38.280 pod mom, Jered Sleeper, is that something is only as 30 00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:41.799 embarrassing as you let it become. Because when you're embarrassed, 31 00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:45.079 people get embarrassed for you. But when you don't give 32 00:01:45.120 --> 00:01:48.000 a fuck, no one feels bad for you. So you 33 00:01:48.159 --> 00:01:52.159 just own your colons. So what shrug it off? Let's 34 00:01:52.159 --> 00:01:54.560 get started. But first, thank you to everyone at patreon 35 00:01:54.599 --> 00:01:57.280 dot com slash ologies for supporting the show. Thank you 36 00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:00.120 to everyone who passes this along to a friend and 37 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:04.760 those wearing merch from ologysmerch dot com. Thanks to everyone 38 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:07.640 who subscribes and rates and reviews, which helps so much. 39 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:10.479 I read every review and this week there were such 40 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:15.719 sweet ones, even though someone named Bort Muppet Margaret meant 41 00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.080 to leave five stars, but left one star. But that's okay, 42 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:21.719 it happens. I didn't take it personally. Also, b Bell 43 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.319 nine seven one seven thanks for the review that said 44 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:28.199 I love science. I thought I hated science my whole 45 00:02:28.199 --> 00:02:30.719 life until this podcast, and it has shifted my view 46 00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:34.159 of absolutely everything. B Bell, Margaret, everyone who left a review, 47 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:36.400 thank you. Okay, either way, let's get into it. Let's 48 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:39.479 get into let's get into me. So we're going to 49 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:43.800 cover how to prep for a colonoscopy, the best tips 50 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:47.479 from people who have been through this, why one must 51 00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:54.039 even prepare for colonoscopy, but cameras, history, pathology reports, advice 52 00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:58.360 from drunk strangers, how a colonoscopy is like a frat 53 00:02:58.360 --> 00:03:01.479 house rager, and more. This episode might save your life. 54 00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:04.800 So come along. Let's take the back entrance in this 55 00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:08.960 field trip to my bud a colonoscopy right along, and 56 00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:31.719 how to dan. Let's start in my kitchen the Saturday 57 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:40.159 afternoon before my Monday morning colonoscopy. Okay, so I was 58 00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:43.599 supposed to get a kolonoscopy a year ago, but I 59 00:03:43.719 --> 00:03:47.919 was too busy taking care of my dad who was 60 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:53.439 dying of colon cancer. So ha ha, I had the 61 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:58.319 prep and everything and it's been stashed in the CBS 62 00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:03.159 bag in a cupboard above my refrigerator for a year 63 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:07.319 or so. Let's dig into this and see what the 64 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:09.879 instructions say. I hoped to god I wasn't supposed to 65 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:18.399 start this yesterday. Okay, Oh boy, gavelite, g take as 66 00:04:18.399 --> 00:04:20.600 directed one time only, as though you're gonna be. 67 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:21.920 Like, I gotta give me some more of that. 68 00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:25.079 My gosh, my brain's out again. 69 00:04:25.319 --> 00:04:25.600 Okay. 70 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:27.199 So this was filled last year. 71 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:29.120 Cool? 72 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:34.240 Okay. So I've had this large paper bag from the 73 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:38.480 pharmacy sitting in the cupboard, stapled shut. It's been above 74 00:04:38.519 --> 00:04:41.600 my refrigerator, in the cabinet for over a year, and 75 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:51.040 I finally cracked it open. You open it up and 76 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:55.000 it's just a gallon. It's a gallon jug. Oh no, 77 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:10.160 oh no, no, this sucks. Okay, it's GAVELI g there's 78 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:16.920 a lot of polyethylene, glycol, sodium, sulfite, potassium. Okay, So 79 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:21.560 you're supposed to fill to the top of the bottle. 80 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:30.000 You've got to drink this whole thing. Oh no. And 81 00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:32.680 then it comes with a flavor pack. It's a lemon 82 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:37.240 flavor pack. I guess this part is optional when it 83 00:05:37.319 --> 00:05:39.879 reconstituted with the water to a volume of four liters, 84 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:43.279 which is a gallon. So this preparation can be used 85 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:46.920 with or without the lemon flavor pack. Add lukewarm drinking 86 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.040 water to the film mark on the bottle. No solid 87 00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:52.160 food should be consumed for the three to four hour 88 00:05:52.240 --> 00:05:55.879 period before drinking a solution, but in no case should 89 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:01.199 solid food be eaten within two hours. Oh my god, 90 00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:07.399 drink one eight ounce cup of the solution rapidly every 91 00:06:07.480 --> 00:06:12.079 ten minutes. A loose, watery vowel movement should result in 92 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:17.079 approximately one hour. Continue drinking until the entire contents for 93 00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:21.079 leaders have been consumed, or as directed by a physician, 94 00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:24.759 and it says no, the solution is more palatable if 95 00:06:24.839 --> 00:06:33.879 chilled in the refrigerator before drinking. Wow, I cannot believe 96 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:39.480 how much like Whit this is gonna be. I don't 97 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:40.360 know why this is. 98 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:41.600 I think I'm so scared. 99 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:43.920 I'm starting to I'm doing the thing where you start 100 00:06:43.959 --> 00:06:46.399 to giggle when you're so scared, like this is. 101 00:06:46.519 --> 00:06:49.680 So this is so horrifying to me that. 102 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:53.399 It's funny, and I know that it's it's not actually funny. 103 00:06:55.319 --> 00:06:55.839 And if you. 104 00:06:57.560 --> 00:07:01.600 Barf this up or you have dizzyness, your switchcrossalm on immediately. 105 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:05.079 You may experience some abdominal bloating and distension before the 106 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:08.439 bewels start to move. So don't eat solid foods on 107 00:07:08.519 --> 00:07:12.079 the day before your colonoscopy and until after your colonoscopy. 108 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:13.920 I doubt you're gonna be in twilight and be like 109 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:15.720 eating a hogi or something. 110 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:19.319 It wants a sandwich. 111 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:22.000 Just like a Philly cheese steak on the table. Drink 112 00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:26.680 only clear liquids, so clear liquids or water, clear fruit 113 00:07:26.759 --> 00:07:29.839 juices without pulp like apple, white grape or white cranberry, 114 00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:34.480 strained lime made or lemonade, coffee or tea without creamer, 115 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:42.240 clear broth, clear soda, gelatin popsicles without fruit pulp. Do 116 00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:46.199 not eat or drink anything colored red or purple. Okay, 117 00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:48.800 So you don't want to eat anything with red dye 118 00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:53.480 in it, like red or purple drinks or jello, because 119 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:57.639 residue of that can look like blood or alesion in 120 00:07:57.920 --> 00:08:02.279 your intestines. So help the docs out and avoid like 121 00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:07.439 fruit punch. Also, five days before the exam, start a 122 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:11.680 low fiber diet. It's anesthetical to everything you know. You 123 00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:15.959 want to avoid fruits, and veggies and whole grains. So 124 00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:20.079 a week before you're eating mashed potatoes, you're having crackers, 125 00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:23.920 et cetera. But the day before the exam, the day 126 00:08:23.959 --> 00:08:28.160 before the exam, no solid food of any kind. It's 127 00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:31.800 just you and the gallon jug plus as much clear 128 00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:36.080 broth and jello and clear pulp free juices like apple juice. 129 00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:38.960 So I had an early appointment on a Monday morning, 130 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:41.320 checking in at seven am. So I was supposed to 131 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:45.000 start Sunday night four thirty pm and drink half a 132 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:49.840 gallon over two hours. Just chug this thing down the 133 00:08:49.879 --> 00:08:54.759 hatch alongside some Dulkalex, just for some added action, and 134 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:56.840 then wake up in the middle of the night and 135 00:08:56.919 --> 00:09:00.120 drink the other half the gallon between three and four am, 136 00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:03.159 like hours before the procedure. So your timing might be 137 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:05.799 a little different. But the moral here is just take 138 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.200 the day off. You're going to be tired, You're going 139 00:09:09.279 --> 00:09:13.000 to be peeing out your keyster by design, maybe by accident. 140 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:17.000 I was warned that no farts are to be trusted. 141 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:21.519 Sit on a towel or per the instructions. You may 142 00:09:21.559 --> 00:09:24.120 consider wearing depends on all diapers. On the way to 143 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.720 your procedure to avoid an accident with your bound movements. 144 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:28.159 Okay, this is fine. 145 00:09:28.279 --> 00:09:32.639 They include some FAQs here. Why does this solution taste 146 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:35.639 so bad? A certain concentration of salts and electrolytes is 147 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.200 needed to effectively clear the colon. As a result, unfortunately, 148 00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:43.919 these solutions do taste bad. And why so salty so? 149 00:09:44.159 --> 00:09:49.000 Because this sodium and potassium and magnesium sulfate solution is 150 00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:53.120 what's called hyper osmotic. That means it sucks water into 151 00:09:53.159 --> 00:09:56.600 your intestines to swell up your guts, and then that 152 00:09:56.679 --> 00:10:00.360 causes muscle contractions called paristosis, which is it's kind of 153 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:04.279 like pressing the fast forward button on evacuation, so I 154 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:07.720 get everybody out. But there are other methods other than 155 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:14.039 this golightly gallon though there's mirralax preparation. There are smaller 156 00:10:14.440 --> 00:10:17.720 salty borgs that are just a half gallon and then 157 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:20.159 you need to drink an extra leader of water right after. 158 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:23.360 Or you can do salt tablets that you chase with water. 159 00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:26.360 But most likely you're going to get this big jug 160 00:10:26.440 --> 00:10:28.879 that I got, and that's what insurance will cover. But 161 00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:31.759 talk to your doctor if you want the usually more 162 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:34.200 expensive but less voluminous prep. 163 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:35.360 What they care. 164 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:39.320 Most about is a clear view of your personal sewer system. 165 00:10:39.639 --> 00:10:41.519 How do I know if I'm clear for the procedure? 166 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:45.879 So this typically occurs after a significant amount of solid 167 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:49.279 dark liquid stool has been eliminated, and then liquid stools 168 00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:52.120 become progressively clearer to the point that you can read 169 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:56.440 a newspaper through them. That seems so specific and also 170 00:10:56.799 --> 00:11:00.679 not really a metaphor for the digital generation. And I 171 00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:04.000 wondered who came up with that edict? And I accidentally 172 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:08.159 fell down a porta potty hoole of info about John Arderne, 173 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:12.559 who was a fourteenth century surgeon known as the father 174 00:11:12.679 --> 00:11:16.159 of proctology, who I think he used leeches on hemorrhoids 175 00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:20.639 and would sometimes have patients swallow a thread and then 176 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.120 when the front end surfaced out of their south port, 177 00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:27.720 he would pull it back and forth to cut out 178 00:11:27.799 --> 00:11:33.279 tumors and fistulas, kind of like dental floss for your inerts. 179 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:36.919 But I don't think that they had daily newspapers back then, 180 00:11:37.159 --> 00:11:40.759 or even camera WANs in the thirteen hundreds. But it 181 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:44.440 turns out that the modern colonoscopy was birthed from scientists 182 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:48.639 at Tokyo University around nineteen sixty nine. 183 00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:49.519 Nice. 184 00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:52.159 But as for that guideline that you should be able 185 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:56.000 to read a newspaper through your watery emissions, the closest 186 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:58.720 source that I could find for that was a bunch 187 00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:02.120 of articles saying that the upper pasta doo should be 188 00:12:02.200 --> 00:12:05.279 thin enough to read a newspaper through. So maybe that 189 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:09.320 oft used colon prep phrase was just the suggestion of 190 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:12.559 like an Italian proctologist. I'm not sure, but past the 191 00:12:12.600 --> 00:12:17.120 salt and magnesium, your colon is six feet long and 192 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:21.600 has a large collection of mucus, intestinal fluids, solid and 193 00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:24.399 liquid waste, a clean exam is the best way to 194 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:29.039 ensure high quality procedure. Colorectal cancer is typically the second 195 00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:31.279 or third leading cause of cancer mortality in the US. 196 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:34.600 I mean, trust me, no matter what happens, or how 197 00:12:34.679 --> 00:12:37.879 much I'm on the toilet, or how disgusting this stuff is, 198 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.279 it's not as bad as having a fucking colon cancer. 199 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:45.799 So so, most doctors suggest regular screening to start at 200 00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:48.639 age forty five, but if you have a family history 201 00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:51.720 of colorectal cancer, you may need to get screened as 202 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:54.440 early as your teenage years, And if you have ibs 203 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:57.960 or colitis or celiac or something. You might be in 204 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.480 there for totally different reasons. So I think a lot 205 00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:03.399 of people might need to do this. The best advice 206 00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:06.120 would come from someone who's already been through it. So 207 00:13:06.240 --> 00:13:10.200 I did like the sanest thing that a chill person 208 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.559 could do, and I brought a recording device to a 209 00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:15.840 bar on a Saturday night to ask strangers about their butts. 210 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:22.600 I think, Okay, now that I'm getting ready to park, 211 00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:27.840 I'm getting nervous. It's very crowded and everyone looks attractive. 212 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:29.960 So maybe this is a bad idea. 213 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:34.399 Am I a buzzkill? I might as well? Who the 214 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:36.799 fuck cares? People loved? 215 00:13:36.840 --> 00:13:42.759 Help I'm doing here. 216 00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:47.000 Seconds into this and I run into people I know 217 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:51.840 from my years as a newspaper journalist. They are hip, young, 218 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:56.720 They're wearing cool clothes such as leather jackets. I did 219 00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:04.279 not anticipate this familiar to bask Oh my gosh, I 220 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:05.879 just saw you on TikTok the other day. 221 00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:09.879 Oh, I'm so sorry. 222 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:13.519 I'm not You're actually forget It's funny I should see 223 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.679 you guys here. I am not here to meet up 224 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:17.320 with anyone. 225 00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:18.559 I'm here completely alone. 226 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:20.559 I think you're here to meet up with us. 227 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:23.480 Here's the deal. Husband's out of town. 228 00:14:23.720 --> 00:14:26.080 Okay, is at a bachelor party. 229 00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:30.919 I have a colonoscrophy on Monday, and I'm doing an 230 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:33.840 episode like a Field Trip episode. I'm like, as long 231 00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:36.320 as I'm gonna go get my butt probed, I'm gonna make. 232 00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:37.200 I'm gonna produce. 233 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:38.159 I'm going to produce. 234 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:38.679 Sure. 235 00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:42.559 And I was like, I wonder if any anyone would 236 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:43.399 give me advice. 237 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:47.000 I never had one. That's why I know. 238 00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:50.000 It's like, you guys should that. 239 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.039 No, I need to go on the Chadwick died at 240 00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:52.519 thirty five. 241 00:14:52.559 --> 00:14:54.159 They say forty, but like a lot of people are 242 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.440 dying at like thirty. 243 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:58.320 I know what coming down cancer. 244 00:14:58.440 --> 00:15:00.720 I feel like I should get up there. You are 245 00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:01.279 on the same ship. 246 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:01.720 I'm with you. 247 00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:03.360 I don't want to get this thing at all. 248 00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:05.720 And then I was like, no one does, so maybe 249 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:09.039 a guilty world could be anyone. 250 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:13.960 I have a question for you. Yes this is being recorded, 251 00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:16.320 but I can strike anything from the record. Have you 252 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:19.480 ever had a colonoscopy? I have. Do you have any 253 00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:24.480 advice for anyone who's getting one? Go to Beth Israel. 254 00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:26.759 That's your only advice. What if they don't have that 255 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:27.440 help plan? 256 00:15:27.480 --> 00:15:31.080 What if you have you actually had I can't be 257 00:15:31.159 --> 00:15:33.960 saying that, he can't be saying it. Okay, so go 258 00:15:34.039 --> 00:15:36.799 to a hospital you trust. All right, that's what that's 259 00:15:36.840 --> 00:15:37.840 what we're going to glean from this. 260 00:15:38.679 --> 00:15:40.120 Have you guys ever had a kolonoscopy? 261 00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:41.159 No? 262 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:43.639 Thank god? No move it, alonge. 263 00:15:43.799 --> 00:15:47.840 I ventured inside toward the bar, so defeated. I just 264 00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:50.919 got in line and I bought a white wine for courage, 265 00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:56.840 and it was a clear liquid. I lurked toward the 266 00:15:56.879 --> 00:16:00.639 back patio to ask strangers about their buttthole. But I 267 00:16:00.679 --> 00:16:04.559 stumbled into a whole birthday party, like in full swing. 268 00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:06.039 I don't want to encroach. 269 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:09.200 Oh, happy birthday. 270 00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:11.279 I'm not exciting. 271 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:16.600 Birthday, not at all. 272 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:18.360 I got wants to talk. 273 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:22.159 To me about their buttholes. Then I met an angel. 274 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:24.120 Oh wait, have you had. 275 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:25.159 A colonoscope before? 276 00:16:25.200 --> 00:16:25.600 This? Never? 277 00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.600 Okay, this is your first time. So then I would 278 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:29.720 use the prep that they give you. But I would 279 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.120 go to the store. I would go if you can 280 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:36.159 tolerate it, seltzer water? How is that on your on 281 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.720 your red? Okay? So get pit light? Okay, they have 282 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:44.639 you know, tons of flavors. I typically like the berry, 283 00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:47.440 you know, the berry chocolate flavors. They are a little 284 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:50.399 bit less sweet, but I cut it. I still cut it, 285 00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:52.919 and I make kind of like a mocktail about it 286 00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:56.159 with Seltzer water just because like I actually have ibs 287 00:16:56.200 --> 00:16:58.799 and like a really bad history of gut health, so 288 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:00.960 that just helps cut it. But if you don't have 289 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:04.480 seltz or just do like regular water with ice cut it. 290 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:06.839 But I would use the prep and the pedia light. 291 00:17:07.160 --> 00:17:07.839 I wouldn't just. 292 00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:08.359 Do the prep. 293 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:13.039 Okay, it's just like it's it's gross and I'm not 294 00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:15.240 gonna lie just drinking that for like I mean what 295 00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:18.680 like twenty four hours. Yeah, and you'll be going to 296 00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:20.519 the restroom a lot, so it don't make any plants. 297 00:17:20.599 --> 00:17:22.680 You're just gonna have to be no, but truly you're 298 00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:25.720 gonna be nesting. I wouldn't make I wouldn't eat a 299 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.440 two big waits Monday. 300 00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:30.319 So today tomorrow's my prep day, tomorrow's. 301 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:31.640 Your prep day, because I was gonna say, you don't 302 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:34.480 want to eat heavily for your last meal, because then 303 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:37.519 that will make the day before and worse obviously. Yeah, 304 00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:39.160 I mean a lot of people just use the prep, 305 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:42.039 and they're fine, okay, but from my experience, I just 306 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:45.160 like Pedia like better, got a little bit more taste, 307 00:17:45.799 --> 00:17:47.720 and also it kind of like gives you somebody to 308 00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:50.960 switch off on. And then for after the procedure, I 309 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:54.000 would get another extra bottle of Paedia Light and some Gatorade, 310 00:17:54.119 --> 00:17:57.519 just anything with electrolytes. So if that's coconut water or whatever, 311 00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:00.839 bone broth, bone broth is great. I'm just like really 312 00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:03.880 like nourishing things for the gut. 313 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:07.079 You know, Okay, since your body is gathering up a 314 00:18:07.079 --> 00:18:10.200 bunch of your water and just forcing it out like 315 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:14.200 a poop whole powerwasher, you are going to lose electrolytes, 316 00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:16.640 which will make you feel like death and can be 317 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:21.160 potentially bad for you. So replenish during the colony prep, 318 00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:22.519 and then after it's all done. 319 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:27.279 There's now this Gatorade series that is like in a 320 00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:31.759 square bottle that has less sugar and more electrolyte. So 321 00:18:31.960 --> 00:18:34.359 if you go the Gatorade raw, I would do that, 322 00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:37.440 but if you can, Pediolight is always my It's always 323 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.759 my go to you for. 324 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:43.480 That confidence up. I approached a small gaggle of college 325 00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:47.400 aged athletic looking hunks. Everyone's been like, there's some girl 326 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:48.359 like asking about. 327 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:52.680 You get a camera. 328 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:56.039 One guy's wife hit out a colonoscopy. He knew the deal. 329 00:18:56.599 --> 00:18:57.440 How was the prep? 330 00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:02.319 Did she just appear into a toilet for two Yeah? 331 00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:05.160 Yes, she had to like drink this fucking weird shit. 332 00:19:05.359 --> 00:19:07.359 So they gave you like a like a prescription of 333 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:09.759 some ship shape and that's all you can drink for 334 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:10.640 two days. 335 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:12.079 Dropped her off. 336 00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:13.880 And I picked her up, and she was like, that 337 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:14.720 was kind of weird. 338 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:17.559 I felt it go into my butthole and then I 339 00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:18.759 fell asleep and. 340 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:19.720 It went perfectly. 341 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.160 I saw this TikTok where this woman was like asked 342 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.759 her nurse. She's like, is today a good day to 343 00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:26.480 have butt sex or not? And her nurse is like, 344 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:28.279 it's actually not in her head. 345 00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:32.680 It was just mega poppers. I will say that one 346 00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:34.720 of those guys turned out to be an ologies listener, 347 00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.559 and then we sent a video to his brother, so 348 00:19:36.599 --> 00:19:39.559 I may have redeemed myself. Hey, but let's circle back 349 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:42.839 real quick just to butt sex. Sorry everyone turn this 350 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:45.920 down if your mom or my mom is listening, whatever, 351 00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:49.039 but public service announcement so you don't have to have 352 00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:54.400 surgical grade colon cleansing to have fun things up your butt. Realistically, 353 00:19:54.920 --> 00:19:58.880 penetrating for playtime only happens in the lower end of 354 00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:03.000 the colon, this sigmoid portion, and unless you are like 355 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:06.519 actively retaining a turd in there, the rectum should be 356 00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:10.240 clear of poop because all of that is housed a 357 00:20:10.279 --> 00:20:14.240 bit farther up in the colon. But there exists anal douches, 358 00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.880 some of them very sexy looking. They're like a rubber bulb, 359 00:20:18.400 --> 00:20:22.480 and they also make shower head but cleaning nozzles. And 360 00:20:22.519 --> 00:20:25.440 I look this up for us, and the general proctological 361 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:27.960 protocol is to like put a leg on the toilet 362 00:20:28.039 --> 00:20:31.039 or do it in the shower, take lukewarm water, suck 363 00:20:31.079 --> 00:20:33.319 it in the bulb, squeeze the air out and then 364 00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:36.880 intro that into the bomb and squirt the water, but 365 00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:39.279 not too much water, not too far or you're gonna 366 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:43.160 hit the storage area. You feel me, so a couple 367 00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:46.599 of times, not too much water, not too forcefully. Then 368 00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:49.119 to the toilet or I guess the shower. You go, 369 00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:51.599 let it out, repeat a couple of times until things 370 00:20:51.640 --> 00:20:55.400 are solid free. However, you can upset the balance of 371 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:58.680 your poop shoot and you can wash out protective slippery 372 00:20:58.680 --> 00:21:01.319 stuff in there, and also so things can continue to 373 00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:03.599 drip or bubble out for about half an hour. So 374 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:06.519 in researching this for US, I paid a visit to 375 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:10.000 the Reddit forum Ask gay Bros. And one person who's 376 00:21:10.039 --> 00:21:12.319 a nurse and a bottom said that the best way 377 00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:15.440 to douche is not at all. Eat a high fiber 378 00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:18.759 diet the day before you're planning on bottoming, and the 379 00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:21.720 day of have a satisfactory BM. Then hop in the 380 00:21:21.759 --> 00:21:24.160 tub and sit in some warm water. Let your muscles 381 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:26.880 loosen up. Gently, insert either your point or middle finger 382 00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:29.599 into your buttthole, swirl it around and bring it out 383 00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:32.519 and clean out your finger. Other folks said, so that's 384 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:36.240 another way. Not enough for colonoscopy, but if you're thinking 385 00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:39.839 about butt sex advice from an elder. Other folks said 386 00:21:39.880 --> 00:21:43.400 that solium husk or meta mucile and staying hydrated will 387 00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:47.680 naturally keep things tidy for your anal adventures, go slow 388 00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:51.920 if you love it, lubit and be safe. HPB is 389 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:55.240 a sexually transmitted infection that can cause anal cancer, so 390 00:21:55.400 --> 00:21:57.640 consider that another good reason to wrap it up so 391 00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:01.720 you don't need medical grade coldscopy prep for butt fun 392 00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:04.599 and also the day of your kolonoscopy is not a 393 00:22:04.599 --> 00:22:07.119 good time for that. But the biggest lesson here is 394 00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:12.279 never ever equate a medical procedure with a sexual identity 395 00:22:12.759 --> 00:22:15.960 or with behavior that you think your community would frown on. 396 00:22:16.279 --> 00:22:18.759 First off, contending adults can do whatever they want and 397 00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:24.079 it's none of anyone's business. Secondly, these long held stigmas 398 00:22:24.119 --> 00:22:27.279 against parts of your own body could kill you if 399 00:22:27.319 --> 00:22:30.799 you're too shy or ashamed to get a screening. And 400 00:22:30.920 --> 00:22:34.000 also being afraid of your own butthole is a senseless 401 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:37.599