Speaker 1: Weird.
Speaker 2: We welcome back midnight viewers, truly to Father Malone's weekly
Speaker 2: round up. I'm Father Malone, and with me on the
Speaker 2: mic is the pug with all the drugs, all the hugs,
Speaker 2: all the shrugs. Got it? Miss Ripley Jean, how are you,
Speaker 2: young lady? I know it's been hot lately. Also on
Speaker 2: board or behind the board, fresh from her sojourn in
Speaker 2: the backyard shed and a brief tour of the sub
Speaker 2: Saharan Desert, Miss Foxy Brown do some weird clicking into
Speaker 2: the mic. You nomadic freak. Here you go. Let's jump
Speaker 2: right in. We've got a lot to cover, a lot
Speaker 2: to catch up on. Ready, actual round up. Yellow Jackets
Speaker 2: continues to falter, although there are a few bright spots.
Speaker 2: I'm loving Shawna's husband Jeff and her daughter Calli. They're
Speaker 2: especially good this season, as is some of the funkier
Speaker 2: revelations about Shanna herself. Those are tantalizing, but they're like
Speaker 2: droplets of water in an otherwise fallow period. Get to
Speaker 2: the fucking twisted already in better DearS, I finished Jeni
Speaker 2: fallen order and my lightsaber is fucking cherry baby, got
Speaker 2: it tricked?
Speaker 3: Out.
Speaker 2: It's mostly the magi's skin with a violet blade double bladed,
Speaker 2: which I think is excessive, but sometimes it's nice to have.
Speaker 2: Oh what a fucking dork you're listening to? Anybody watching
Speaker 2: Hunting Party that's on Peacock. It's only like six episodes,
Speaker 2: pretty intriguing. It feels like a nineties show in its construction.
Speaker 2: There's a secret underground prison that's populated with the worst
Speaker 2: killers in the world, so bad that they've been officially
Speaker 2: publicly executed, kind of like lefam Nikita, but instead of
Speaker 2: turning them into assassins, they've just got them locked up anyway.
Speaker 2: The opening scene, a bomb goes off, killing untold number
Speaker 2: of prisoners and releasing just as many. That's the premise,
Speaker 2: get the killers back. It is a solid cast, solid action,
Speaker 2: and provides a good old dose of freak of the
Speaker 2: week vibes. Plus what the hell was that prison? Anyway?
Speaker 2: Remember right after Lost Everything had some mystery box situation,
Speaker 2: including a show about Alcatraz. There was a Spielberg show
Speaker 2: about some expedition in the Amazon with that guy from
Speaker 2: Across the Universe Blonde dude. Am I just rambling? Yes,
Speaker 2: I have a ton of useless knowledge I have left
Speaker 2: over from last week, including the fact that every episode
Speaker 2: I tell myself I'm gonna do a rundown of all
Speaker 2: the new trailers and let you know which ones look
Speaker 2: like they're worth of dam or at least the ones
Speaker 2: that have got me hyped. Timing couldn't be more perfect
Speaker 2: to do it. Then this week, what with that several
Speaker 2: minutes long ode to uncomfortable canvas furniture that was the
Speaker 2: Avengers Doomsday trailer, A slow pan of twenty six names
Speaker 2: of actors we all assumed would be in the movie
Speaker 2: X Men was a surprise the original X Men I
Speaker 2: guess are returning Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Rebecca Romaine, James Marsden,
Speaker 2: Kelsey Grammer, and Channing Tatum. Okay, that's kind of exciting
Speaker 2: Alan coming. That actually is exciting. But as cool as
Speaker 2: that reveal might be, there were a couple of glaring
Speaker 2: omissions Spider Man, Doctor Strange, Miss Marvel, Moonnight she Hulk. Also,
Speaker 2: I guess we know who survives the Thunderbolts movie. Huh.
Speaker 2: You think maybe they could have held back on the
Speaker 2: reveal that a bunch of the characters in the movie
Speaker 2: that's coming out next month, are gonna survive the movie?
Speaker 2: Speaking of Thunderbolts, Asterik, I am fucking stoked. I know
Speaker 2: a bunch of you are out there saying it's just
Speaker 2: Suicide Squad. Well, guess what. Suicide Squad is just the
Speaker 2: dirty dozen assholes, and Thunderbolts is more like Kelly's heroes.
Speaker 2: Thunderbolts manages to evade the trap that most of these
Speaker 2: types of flicks fall into. The members aren't all that
Speaker 2: villainous to begin with. They are low level, fucking Marvel villains.
Speaker 2: Several work as mercenaries for either side. Anyway, none of
Speaker 2: them have say attempted mass murder. Suicide Squad is stuck
Speaker 2: with genuinely bad people that they have to soften to
Speaker 2: the point that they're unrecognizable. Harley Quinn is a psychopath, y'all.
Speaker 2: I don't know how everyone forgot that. I know she
Speaker 2: escaped an abusive relationship, and she's loud and proud in
Speaker 2: her relationship with Ivy these days, but she will still
Speaker 2: feed you to hyenas for no reason at all. The
Speaker 2: closest we've gotten to action Harley Quinn was that Birds
Speaker 2: of preyflick. She's so fucking chaotic there and whatever way
Speaker 2: she's swinging these days, I think all genders can agree.
Speaker 2: Without Harley, there is no cause play community. People have
Speaker 2: always gone to conventions and costume, but that lady inspired
Speaker 2: a ferocity and dress up a previously unknown Do you
Speaker 2: think Harley is the hottest? I do, but your opinion
Speaker 2: may differ. Hit me up at father Malone seventy one
Speaker 2: at a gmail dot com. Let me know your dorky
Speaker 2: crush is a catwoman. I think most DC leaning people
Speaker 2: will say miss Kyle, but I don't know. I'm asking
Speaker 2: that goes with everything we're talking about on the show.
Speaker 2: If you agree, disagree, have another point of view, feel
Speaker 2: free to drop me a line at Fathermalone seventy one
Speaker 2: at in gmail dot com. Or you'll have better luck
Speaker 2: on the socials, probably at Fathermalone on the Insta and
Speaker 2: the threads and the skies of Blue. Quite a few
Speaker 2: of you have reached out to say how relieved you
Speaker 2: are that Miss Foxy Brown made her way back home.
Speaker 2: I think I've thanked you all individually, but if I
Speaker 2: missed any of you, I'm thanking you here. It was
Speaker 2: truly a preciated Do you know when she came back.
Speaker 2: I scooped her up and walked around clutching her and
Speaker 2: bawling for like an hour straight, after which I fed
Speaker 2: her in Ripley, and then I let Ripley outside, and
Speaker 2: Foxy jumped down and started strutting out the door. Fuck you, kat,
Speaker 2: You're indoors forever. I mentioned this over on the crossover
Speaker 2: episode with Noise Junkies about the movie Crossroads. But the
Speaker 2: trailer for Ryan Coogler's new movie is online. It's called Cinner.
Speaker 2: It comes out at the end of April. It's a
Speaker 2: prohibition era supernatural action gangster flick. I think I'm more
Speaker 2: excited for this film than anything coming down the pike.
Speaker 2: Check of that one out. There are several exorcism flicks
Speaker 2: on the way, got al Pacino in one. There's also
Speaker 2: a flick called Project Silence, which is about a group
Speaker 2: of people trapped on a suspension bridge. It seems a
Speaker 2: very final destination. You know what else looks a bit
Speaker 2: like Final Destination? The new final destination movie Bloodlines. Can
Speaker 2: we retire that as a subtitle for any long running franchise.
Speaker 2: I don't care if it's the perfect title for your
Speaker 2: summation reimagining reinvestment, legacy sequel, prequel, whatever the fuck Bloodlines
Speaker 2: is taken, Move along. That movie looks good, though, the
Speaker 2: new Final Destination movie, and any Final Destination movie is
Speaker 2: going to be more fun than the most ponderous goddamn
Speaker 2: still photographs were getting as horror these days. One other thing,
Speaker 2: not a trailer, not a movie podcast. Dana Carvey has
Speaker 2: had a bit of a renaissance lately with his SNL
Speaker 2: fiftieth appearances and the success of his show that he
Speaker 2: does with David Spade. But a couple of years ago
Speaker 2: he put out one season of a show called The
Speaker 2: Weird Place, which is basically an audio Twilight Zone, right
Speaker 2: down to Carve's Rod Serling impression, and he does all
Speaker 2: the voices naturally. Each episode is short in sweet, interesting
Speaker 2: stories that I think are worthy of the original Twilight Zone.
Speaker 2: But more importantly, they are very, very funny with really
Speaker 2: oddball observances. For some reason, the fact that after a
Speaker 2: particular eventful moment a character paused to have a taco
Speaker 2: dinner and watch television just struck me as all kinds
Speaker 2: of funny. The show is a nice reminder that Carvey
Speaker 2: is a pure entertainer who doesn't need all the ticks
Speaker 2: and mugging that he sometimes devolves into in order to
Speaker 2: really kill the weird place. They're like twenty minutes each.
Speaker 2: You can hear the entire season in like an hour. Well,
Speaker 2: I can't really prevaricate any longer. We're gonna have to
Speaker 2: deal with the princess in the room. Not you, sweetie,
Speaker 2: You're more like Princess Leah by the way, heir to
Speaker 2: a fallen kingdom. If I may, when the revolution begins,
Speaker 2: can we have Lea as our de facto symbol? What
Speaker 2: better banner do you want to rally behind? Seriously, I
Speaker 2: am unapologetically a Disney person. My late wife and I
Speaker 2: honeymooned in Disneyland, where we anticipated going on the Haunted
Speaker 2: Mansion one million times. But we were married on Halloween,
Speaker 2: so when we got to the park, it was already
Speaker 2: themed with Nightmare before Christmas, so we ended up going
Speaker 2: a handful of times. You know, not everyone thinks that
Speaker 2: movie is as magical as those who were raised on it.
Speaker 2: Some of us thought it peculiar that a champion of
Speaker 2: the misunderstood, mister Tim Burton, would craft a story that
Speaker 2: essentially says, know your place, whatever lot You've been assigned
Speaker 2: in life. That's it, baby, Do not seek outside interests.
Speaker 2: I suppose the lesson could also be know your limitations,
Speaker 2: but that's equally fucked up for a kids movie. But
Speaker 2: I digress. Look, I love Disney, but I'm not totally insane.
Speaker 2: My place isn't tricked out in Disney Ona. I'm not
Speaker 2: dying to be a resident of Celebration, Florida. I know
Speaker 2: Disney is no longer affiliated, but does a better symbol
Speaker 2: of Disney fans gone too far exist beyond a living
Speaker 2: in a town created by Disney. At the same time,
Speaker 2: I never subscribed to the overly facile portrait of Disney
Speaker 2: Corporation as What's wrong with America? It would always pop
Speaker 2: up in political art alongside a crucified Ronald McDonald. Probably,
Speaker 2: of all the evil corporations ruining America, the one whose
Speaker 2: primary product is joy isn't really high on my list
Speaker 2: of villainy. I could do a whole show just on
Speaker 2: the animated films of Disney or the many television series
Speaker 2: they produced throughout the fifties and sixties. Do you remember
Speaker 2: Doctor Sinn the Scarecrow. He was a Western English robin
Speaker 2: hood patrolling the grounds of Rumney Marsh, which incidentally was
Speaker 2: the original name of my hometown of Revere, Massachusetts. In fact,
Speaker 2: the cemetery in Revere, the oldest one, is called ye
Speaker 2: Old Rumney mar Cemetery. I could do an entire show
Speaker 2: just about Disney short subjects. Have you ever seen Dad?
Speaker 2: Can I Borrow the Car? Narrated by teenage Kurt Russell.
Speaker 2: It's fabulous.
Speaker 4: Hell.
Speaker 2: You could do an episode about the first five years
Speaker 2: of the nineteen fifties, just the output they put out there.
Speaker 2: Here it is Cinderella, Treasure Island, Alice in Wonderland, The
Speaker 2: Story of Robin Hood, Peter Pan, The Sword in the Rose,
Speaker 2: The Living Desert, rob Roy, The Highland Rogue, The Vanishing Prairie,
Speaker 2: twenty thousand Leagues Under the Sea, Davy Crockett, King of
Speaker 2: the Wild Frontier, Lady in the Tramp, The African Lion,
Speaker 2: The Littlest Outlaw. That's five years. Even adjusted for inflation,
Speaker 2: you take all the budgets of all of those movies,
Speaker 2: it's still nowhere near what we got to remember that number,
Speaker 2: that output and realized that while Disney cut his teeth
Speaker 2: with the animated shorts in the early nineteen thirties. It
Speaker 2: was nineteen thirty nine that Disney as a studio entered
Speaker 2: the cinematic arena and declared itself a contender. That was
Speaker 2: with the first full length animated film, snow White in
Speaker 2: the Seven Dwarfs. Aside of getting stoned and watching Fantasia,
Speaker 2: that is my favorite Disney film. It's so slick and
Speaker 2: yet still experimental. You can feel the desire at the
Speaker 2: end of every animator's brush to make what you're seeing magic,
Speaker 2: and you can see innovation in every goddamn scene. It
Speaker 2: is a triumph just technically, never mind the fact that
Speaker 2: you can already see the dynamism that they'd approach every
Speaker 2: subject with, baking it into the story. And about that story,
Speaker 2: do you know there is an early version of the
Speaker 2: Tale of snow White where the evil queen is not
Speaker 2: her stepmother at all. It's her actual mom. That's the
Speaker 2: only change. How do you like them poison apples? There's
Speaker 2: a Greek version with poison grapes instead of apples. The
Speaker 2: Netherlands doesn't have a Prince Charming, it's snow White's dad
Speaker 2: that saves her. There's a French version where there are
Speaker 2: no dwarves but a band of thieves. There's a fucking
Speaker 2: Scottish version with thirteen cats instead of dwarves, and in
Speaker 2: that one, the snow White character is on the run
Speaker 2: because she's been framed for murder. Oh my god, Scotland,
Speaker 2: If you guys would have one fucking sunny day, I
Speaker 2: would move there on a heartbeat. The Spanish version dispenses
Speaker 2: with the magic mirror and instead makes it a demon
Speaker 2: that whispers into the Queen's ear the whole time. Here's
Speaker 2: my problem with the mirror, by the way, not the mirror,
Speaker 2: but it's use. We're led to believe in every one
Speaker 2: of these iterations that the evil Queen is above all vain.
Speaker 2: She needs to hear every day that she's the fairest,
Speaker 2: and the day she hears different, that girl's gotta go.
Speaker 2: She's then duped into believing that snow White is dead.
Speaker 2: A significant amount of time then passes, and then and
Speaker 2: then the queen asks who's the fairest, and the mirror
Speaker 2: spills the beans snow White's alive. You're telling me the
Speaker 2: Queen didn't ask at any time up until now. It
Speaker 2: wasn't the first fucking thing she did. When the huntsman
Speaker 2: showed back up with a stag heart. Now, who's the
Speaker 2: fairest still snow white? The fuck? That's a dear heart?
Speaker 2: That punk is lying to you, queen. You know, if
Speaker 2: you heard the Spanish version, you're probably a child in Spain.
Speaker 2: And I have a sneaking suspicion that you might have
Speaker 2: imagined snow White or Blanca and the abas as looking
Speaker 2: a bit more like yourself and less like the nearly
Speaker 2: transparent version in the Disney film. The snow White story
Speaker 2: got around, and everywhere it went people claimed ownership. Hell,
Speaker 2: it got around cinematically as well. The Disney film is
Speaker 2: the fourth film adaptation of Snow White, and the second animated.
Speaker 2: Betty Boop got there in nineteen thirty one, and she
Speaker 2: hung around with Cab calloway gasp, pearls clutched. Since then,
Speaker 2: there have been dozens of films, hundreds of animated versions.
Speaker 2: Every kind of snow White and every amalgamation of numbered
Speaker 2: henchmen have been visited upon the screens, both big and small,
Speaker 2: and you never heard word one about fucking any of them,
Speaker 2: not a peep. Why because who gives a fuck? Oh?
Speaker 2: Racists and misogynists. I used to not understand toxic fandom,
Speaker 2: and yeah, there are any number of factors that contribute
Speaker 2: to the forming of these fuckers, and who knows, they
Speaker 2: might be just shitty across the board, and it isn't
Speaker 2: narrowly focused as something like racism or hating women. But
Speaker 2: let us not speak falsely. Now the hour is getting late.
Speaker 2: You throw up a Hitler salute, you're a Nazi. And
Speaker 2: if you're after a children's movie because it's not white enough,
Speaker 2: you're a fucking racist. End of story. Here's a question
Speaker 2: for a future show. What do these assholes enjoy? We
Speaker 2: know full well what they hate. They organize around their hatred,
Speaker 2: but does anything make them happy? And can we take
Speaker 2: that away from them? Seriously? Get fucked you ask clowns
Speaker 2: who roots for failure? How sick in your soul are you?
Speaker 2: Oh right, racist and sexists clinging to an ideology that's
Speaker 2: currently death rattling. Enjoy yourselves in twenty years, guess who's
Speaker 2: going to be the minority in America? Snow white? The
Speaker 2: new one, the one I'm reviewing, is a colossal fucking failure.
Speaker 2: I'm serious. It is bafflingly bad. There are moments I
Speaker 2: just stared, mind reeling trying to comprehend how this came
Speaker 2: to be, But the problem wasn't because the casting was
Speaker 2: color blind. That may have contributed to its financial downfall
Speaker 2: a little, but I think really, when you remake an
Speaker 2: animated film from ninety years ago, spending upwards of three
Speaker 2: hundred million dollars on it, it kind of means you're
Speaker 2: setting yourself up for failure. This is cleopatracized hubris. You
Speaker 2: think the company pumping out all of those films in
Speaker 2: the early nineteen fifties would have taken this risk. Of
Speaker 2: course not, but they did. So they have to make
Speaker 2: it as blandly appealing as possible because it has to
Speaker 2: make a billion dollars to be profitable. It's always hilarious
Speaker 2: when these toxic bros starts screaming about woke corporations. Do
Speaker 2: you know how business works at all? Dummies? You go
Speaker 2: where the money is. The twenty year obsession with IP
Speaker 2: is proof of that. Do you think one human being
Speaker 2: was clamoring for a Green Hornet remake? No, but the
Speaker 2: name was wreckedizable, so throw money there. I've spent my
Speaker 2: whole life tempering anything good a corporation has done with
Speaker 2: the knowledge that if they weren't profiting, they wouldn't have
Speaker 2: done it. But hell, however, you get progress right, you'll
Speaker 2: take it. So if you think Rachel Ziegler's casting is
Speaker 2: this movie's downfall, does that mean Tom Hanks wasn't Italian
Speaker 2: enough as Geppetto? Was that why Pinocchio was such a failure?
Speaker 2: Now can you see why this is such a difficult
Speaker 2: review to navigate? It should just be this is a
Speaker 2: muddle headed remake, don't see it. Instead, it's become freighted
Speaker 2: with so much political fould all in nonsense that by
Speaker 2: dissing the movie, I end up on the side of
Speaker 2: these toxic pricks. It was the same situation with Ghostbusters.
Speaker 2: Answer the call no no vaginas in the jumpsuits.
Speaker 5: It gruse.
Speaker 2: That was a bad movie. I love all of those actors,
Speaker 2: I love Paul Figue. Terrible movie, But if you say that,
Speaker 2: you're associating with these adolescent temper tantrum babies. Comparatively, though,
Speaker 2: Ghostbusters was a masterpiece compared to Snow But let's dispense
Speaker 2: with the toxic boys and that fucking producer's kid, who
Speaker 2: is really the one who needs to shut his mouth?
Speaker 2: If your daddy is that important. He doesn't need you
Speaker 2: popping off for him. Also, your dad made the movie,
Speaker 2: and he cast this girl and helped all the other
Speaker 2: boneheaded decisions make it to the screen. What bone headed
Speaker 2: decisions you ask? Let's talk about snow white.
Speaker 5: This was my father's kingdom, a place of fairness, but
Speaker 5: the queen changed everything. Take him away, your majesty, what
Speaker 5: did you say? The people need some kindness? You know,
Speaker 5: I really don't remember you being this opinionated magic mirror
Speaker 5: on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?
Speaker 4: Fame is thy beauty, majesty, the lovely maiden. I now behold.
Speaker 1: I look at you, and I just want to be.
Speaker 4: The fairest of them all.
Speaker 3: The Queen is evil even flee into the woods.
Speaker 5: My parents always said this forest was a magical place.
Speaker 4: Hello, is there anybody here?
Speaker 3: Queen?
Speaker 5: It's a human. What did you think I was nothing?
Speaker 3: Ghost?
Speaker 1: You'll be shaved from the queen here.
Speaker 5: The Queen stole everything from all of us. You're gonna
Speaker 5: need druk. It's time to restore our kingdom. Fighting on
Speaker 5: a way, holding up for Sunday, hoping somehow, some way
Speaker 5: be comes a man.
Speaker 1: If I'm snow white.
Speaker 5: Gay, this is our kingdom and now we're here to
Speaker 5: take it back.
Speaker 1: You were saying, I'm sorry, my dear, did I frighten you?
Speaker 2: How about making these seven Dwarves ce gen nightmares. They
Speaker 2: don't look like the original Dwarfs. They only vaguely resemble
Speaker 2: the actors, though Bashville looks awfully white for being played
Speaker 2: by Titus Burgess, thank god, or some of these fellas
Speaker 2: might have started doxing wallflowers everywhere. The Dwarves are now immortal,
Speaker 2: and they have magic powers that manifest as glowing hands
Speaker 2: and allow them to light up the veins of minerals
Speaker 2: in the caves. I'm not talking about the performances of
Speaker 2: the Dwarves.
Speaker 6: By the way.
Speaker 2: Mark Kebble, who was in all of the Pirates movies,
Speaker 2: takes center stage as Grumpy and he's fucking great. In fact,
Speaker 2: across the board, the performances in the film are solid
Speaker 2: except Galgadot. She's very pretty okay, but there is not
Speaker 2: a lot of range there. Remember that Cringey imagined performance
Speaker 2: she did at the start of the pandemic, Well, imagine
Speaker 2: that inhuman form, poured into a skin tight, shimmery black
Speaker 2: dress and under an art deco stained glass crown that
Speaker 2: sums the movie up. It should be called a ropodope,
Speaker 2: the motion picture. Every time your mind finds purchase a performance,
Speaker 2: a bit of scent decoration, a costume, you begin to
Speaker 2: settle in and bow. You're on the fucking pavement wondering
Speaker 2: what the fuck happened? This movie is two fucking hours,
Speaker 2: a solid two hours. How they get there? More songs,
Speaker 2: of course, the Greatest Showman type numbers, you know, rousing
Speaker 2: tunes that start off small and suddenly everyone's chanting and
Speaker 2: the music is building, and it plateaus and grows higher.
Speaker 2: It's the musical theater equivalent of imagine dragons, all anthems,
Speaker 2: all the time. It's exhausting, but yet again that's what works, right,
Speaker 2: That's what audience is like. And we've got how much
Speaker 2: riding on this do what works? The Greatest Showman? Those
Speaker 2: pricks we got to sell soundtracks. The budget is too hi.
Speaker 2: There's some blow dried Prince Charming here. But now he's
Speaker 2: a rogue thief. So he's basically Aladdin or whatever the
Speaker 2: archetype happens to be now, the helper guy. We see
Speaker 2: him in every movie. Why because that's what they think
Speaker 2: we want. So we got to put him in because
Speaker 2: we got to make the money. The worst defense in
Speaker 2: the movie, however, is giving Rachel Ziegler snow White's bob haircut.
Speaker 2: She'd be better off with a Prince Valiant. I'm serious, now, listen.
Speaker 2: I said, snow White is my favorite Disney animated flick.
Speaker 2: It is. I saw it very young and often, and
Speaker 2: in the land of too much information, I think snow
Speaker 2: White and the Evil Queen are completely formative in what
Speaker 2: I find attractive and sexy in women. I mentioned my
Speaker 2: wife and I went to Disney on our honeymoon. There
Speaker 2: exists a photo of me and snow White in which
Speaker 2: I can only describe my expression as giddy. I get
Speaker 2: a lot of things in life, giddy ain't one of them.
Speaker 2: So my feelings of what snow White should look like
Speaker 2: or as strong as anyone's more maybe, and if they're
Speaker 2: going to veer away, veer away, she looks awful, impossible
Speaker 2: to watch. Not to bring back Tom Hanks, but remember
Speaker 2: the Da Vinci code. Neither do I, but I remember
Speaker 2: that terrible fucking head of hair. And not to bring
Speaker 2: it back to the toxic folk, because I don't think
Speaker 2: they have one fucking interest in Snow White at all.
Speaker 2: But if you're a purist and you want a live
Speaker 2: action version of the Disney cartoon, it exists. Disney did
Speaker 2: that in nineteen eighty. They filmed their theatrical version of
Speaker 2: Snow White at Radio City Music Hall. Snow White is
Speaker 2: as white as your teutonic dreams will allow, and all
Speaker 2: the dwarves are in masks that are identical to how
Speaker 2: they look in the film. No surprises, just a literal
Speaker 2: one for one. It's on YouTube. Watch it right now.
Speaker 2: HP and I are going to be doing it over
Speaker 2: on our Patreon channel if you want to hear more
Speaker 2: about it there. If you listen to the show with
Speaker 2: any frequency, you know I have no problem with remakes,
Speaker 2: and I have no problem with a studio wanting a
Speaker 2: huge success. I want them to have a huge success.
Speaker 2: But because there was some vision going in, Snow White
Speaker 2: is the most bi committee thing I have ever seen,
Speaker 2: and hopefully it will mark an end to this kind
Speaker 2: of bullshit. Also, in none of the remakes I mentioned
Speaker 2: has anyone made the point that maybe the fucking mirror
Speaker 2: is the problem. Whispering insecurities and sewing fear. Maybe those
Speaker 2: ladies should get together and smash that fucking mirror. Let's
Speaker 2: see that in a remake. You got an idea for
Speaker 2: a remake? Tell me whoa hit it? Hp K, Thank
Speaker 2: you hp We know we ended up on this network
Speaker 2: because you were stealing pens at the last one. Oh traguna, mccoitees,
Speaker 2: Trichorum satusty. It's bed knobs and broomsnakes, motherfuckers?
Speaker 1: What is going on here?
Speaker 6: Soon you'll see a world of magic beyond anything you've
Speaker 6: ever seen before. It's bed knobs and broomsticks from Walt
Speaker 6: Disney Productions. To help England fight off an impending invasion,
Speaker 6: an apprentice witch goes to war with centuries old empty armor,
Speaker 6: getting a lab bed knobs and broomsticks, starring the incomparable
Speaker 6: Angela Lansbury My First Room as Missus Egglentin Price, who
Speaker 6: takes a correspondence course in witchcraft, and David Tomlinson as
Speaker 6: Professor Emilius Brown, a lovable London con man.
Speaker 5: I'm welcome in cheat a road.
Speaker 6: Three homeless Cockney waves alone can help Eglentine find the
Speaker 6: missing spell. Their search is supersonic, their adventures are ultra fantastic.
Speaker 3: For some reason, we have great difficulty finding referees round here.
Speaker 6: Pedrogy and her magic is in.
Speaker 4: Jay.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 6: When you're dancing on the sea. Angela Lansbury popping along
Speaker 6: singing a song on Nubbu in lot Disney Production's most
Speaker 6: magical motion picture, Bed Knobs and Broomsticks. It's family entertainment.
Speaker 2: So Disney is trying to get the rights to Mary Poppins.
Speaker 2: Negotiations are not going well, and somebody has the bright
Speaker 2: idea to snap up the rights to Marry Norton's book
Speaker 2: The Magic Bedknob. If we can't do one magical woman
Speaker 2: looking after some children in a period piece, we can
Speaker 2: do another. That was a proper fucking instinct. In fact,
Speaker 2: during those negotiations, Mary Norton put out a sequel called
Speaker 2: Bonfires and Broomsticks, and Disney grabbed the rights to them too,
Speaker 2: And then they started putting a movie together, hiring the
Speaker 2: Sherman brothers to write songs and Don Degrady to write
Speaker 2: the script, and then they got the rights to Mary
Speaker 2: Poppins and it was off to the lock with you nesse.
Speaker 2: They try to restart it in the mid sixties, but
Speaker 2: the script built around the premise of let's take a
Speaker 2: property with a passing resemblance to Mary Poppins and make
Speaker 2: it even more Mary Poppins turned out to be too
Speaker 2: fucking similar to Mary Poppins, so it was shelved again.
Speaker 2: Then finally in nineteen seventy they brought back everyone, reworked everything,
Speaker 2: added a deleted song from Mary Poppins, even though we
Speaker 2: are not making Mary Poppins now. They just needed a director,
Speaker 2: so they went with Robert Stevenson, director of You Got
Speaker 2: It Mary Poppins. His first order of business was cast
Speaker 2: the lead of Miss Eglantine Price, a witch in training
Speaker 2: who must care for three orphans during the London Blitz.
Speaker 2: So he went to Julie Andrews, who thought it was
Speaker 2: a little too close to Mary Poppins and turned it down. Then,
Speaker 2: out of loyalty or panic, attempted to re accept the part,
Speaker 2: but they had already gone with a red headed Irish
Speaker 2: beauty in the form of future missus Lovett and Miss
Speaker 2: Teapot and Missolve all the Murders Dame Angela Bridget Lensbury.
Speaker 2: By the way, that's the proper way to spell Bridget.
Speaker 2: The Irish Brigid brigid and to continue to distance themselves
Speaker 2: from Mary Poppins. As for co lead, they cast David Tomlinson,
Speaker 2: the dad from Mary Poppins. I kind of hate all
Speaker 2: of the Mary Poppins comparisons because this was that movie.
Speaker 3: For me.
Speaker 2: I could never relate to the Banks family, that big house,
Speaker 2: with a family too driven and indifferent to care for
Speaker 2: their children so much that they had to hire a
Speaker 2: servant on top of all their regular servants in their
Speaker 2: house to keep their children entertained. I don't know how
Speaker 2: anyone related to it, honestly. Dig this story. In the
Speaker 2: middle of World War Two, a group of children, two
Speaker 2: boys and a girl, are shipped off to the countryside
Speaker 2: from London, which is being bombed into rubble. These are
Speaker 2: poor kids. They talk like they escaped from a Dickens
Speaker 2: novel and their schemers. They're not getting into mischief because
Speaker 2: they're bored. They're on the run, possibly orphaned, and now
Speaker 2: put in the care of some strange woman in some
Speaker 2: rural village on the coast. That setup makes all the difference,
Speaker 2: because they will travel from the real world to an
Speaker 2: animated and they'll have episodic musical numbers At Famed British locations,
Speaker 2: just like Mary Poppins. But while we were left wondering
Speaker 2: where Mary gets her magic, there's no doubt with miss Price.
Speaker 2: She is a fucking witch and there's an ambulet to
Speaker 2: be found, and these kids are gonna help her do
Speaker 2: it because bad people are after it. Once that there's
Speaker 2: a plot, you're fucking right. Unlike Mary Poppins, Not only
Speaker 2: do they have to skip around the globe using a
Speaker 2: bed as conveyance to stop the villains. In the form
Speaker 2: of Sam Jaffy, Keen eared Midnight Viewers listeners will remember
Speaker 2: his appearance in the pilot for Night Gallery. He was
Speaker 2: in the Richard Kylie Nazi episode Nazis you say, that's right,
Speaker 2: They're on the way. That's the fucking climax they've concocted
Speaker 2: for this film, and Angela Lansbury and a group of
Speaker 2: disadvantaged kids have to use magic to fight a Nazi
Speaker 2: invasion and knock those motherfuckers back into the Atlantic Ocean.
Speaker 2: Sound good? Is great? Well almost? The movie is way
Speaker 2: too long. The theatrical version I grew up watching evidently
Speaker 2: had twenty minutes removed, and it's too long in that iteration.
Speaker 2: Never mind the restored version that includes all the stuff
Speaker 2: that was too ponderous for an already badly paced film.
Speaker 2: I'm just being honest. I'm recommending this movie outright, see
Speaker 2: it immediately on Disney Plus. But I am also recommending
Speaker 2: let this get the remake treatment. It wouldn't be hard
Speaker 2: and it would be oh so timely. I think this
Speaker 2: is the kind of entertainment to our kids need. Hell,
Speaker 2: I need it. I had a blast rewatching it, and
Speaker 2: the song Portobello Road is one of my all time favorites.
Speaker 2: In Hell, any movie that can get a bunch of
Speaker 2: children chanting in Latin is worth a rewatch and a reimagining.
Speaker 2: Have we talked enough? Have I did I make up
Speaker 2: for my absence last week? I hope so. But I
Speaker 2: am gonna wrap it up and try to enjoy my Sunday.
Speaker 2: I mentioned the Patreon channel that's patreon dot com slash
Speaker 2: fatherm alone. You get episodes early and commercial free and
Speaker 2: bonus shows like Cable Box Theater where Noise Junkies host
Speaker 2: HP and I take a look at filmed theatrical productions
Speaker 2: that showed up on cable TV in the early eighties.
Speaker 2: Or if you have no dough to spare. You can
Speaker 2: just share this show on your social media or like
Speaker 2: it or five star it. You know the drill OH
Speaker 2: tune back in, OH, tune in On Friday, HP is
Speaker 2: rejoining me. We've suddenly stumbled into a retrospective of the
Speaker 2: films of John Fusco. Last week we did Crossroads. Next
Speaker 2: time we're doing Young Guns. It's gonna be a blast.
Speaker 2: That's on Friday.
Speaker 4: Yeah,