WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.960 Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Jamie Hanshaw and we 2 00:00:06.040 --> 00:00:09.400 are going to have another episode of gender Wars and 3 00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:16.920 Weirdness with Father Moses McPherson. He is the priest at 4 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:20.920 Holy Mother of God Parish in Austin, Texas, and my 5 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:26.800 friend and Jay's friend, and a sigma male. He's transcended 6 00:00:26.839 --> 00:00:31.120 alpha male into sigma male. He's a very masculine authority 7 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:35.439 to appeal to. Because you know, I've been triggered by 8 00:00:35.479 --> 00:00:41.920 Twitter again and I have this hypothesis about the Biblical 9 00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:46.240 masculinity and submission posts, and if you'll indulge me, I'm 10 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:47.960 going to try and make a case that this is 11 00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:56.240 really getting weird. Okay, So the whole alpha male phenomenon, 12 00:00:56.280 --> 00:00:58.640 I don't know if you all know this, probably not 13 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:01.320 because you didn't spend time. I'm on four sean in 14 00:01:01.439 --> 00:01:06.079 the two thousands like I did. But the verbiage that 15 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:10.200 they're using, and anytime you see an account on Twitter 16 00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:13.560 with the words biblical or masculinity or any kind of 17 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:18.319 like combination alpha male, this or whatever, it's gonna be whack. Okay, 18 00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:27.239 because this stuff came from corn and furries specifically. Okay, 19 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:33.400 the whole alpha male, beta male, submission subdom. My idea 20 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:36.319 is that we are being made to witness some kind 21 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:41.920 of public display of fetishism with some of these posts 22 00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:46.239 and these accounts. I know that's kind of like a 23 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:48.480 big thing to say, but like I said, so the 24 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:52.640 alpha male comes from Furries and from Korn and from 25 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:55.519 for Cheon, and then you have a lot of accounts 26 00:01:55.519 --> 00:01:58.000 with very very young men like they can't even vote, 27 00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:01.480 and they're telling in what to do. They're saying you 28 00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:03.159 need to be this, and that they're telling them to 29 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:09.280 shut up right on air, being very disrespectful. And the 30 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:16.280 submission language I'm hearing is also very fetishistic with I mean, 31 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:19.080 everybody knows what BDSM is, right, So you have a 32 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:21.919 dominant and a submissive person and a lot of the 33 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:26.879 language in these posts is identical to the sexualization fetish 34 00:02:26.919 --> 00:02:28.919 And then you have the trad wife aesthetic, which is, 35 00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:35.400 you know, nothing too crazy, but it's blurring into the 36 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:39.479 lines of performative aesthetics. So I know that's a lot 37 00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:44.240 for the introduction, and I have about twenty questions from 38 00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:48.159 Twitter to ask you, and because my opinion is getting 39 00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:51.960 less and less valuable, I feel as time goes on 40 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:54.919 as a woman, and that's a weird thing to witness also, 41 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:57.800 so I wanted to appeal to male authority. I'm an 42 00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:02.360 Orthodox Christian. Obviously we are triarchal. I'm not a feminist, 43 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:05.560 but I'm not a weirdo either. So that's why I 44 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:09.039 brought you on. Because you're a nice, masculine, normal guy. 45 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:11.319 You have five sons, you have an incredible wife, you 46 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:15.280 have a vibrant household. So welcome to the show. 47 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:17.240 Thank you, thanks for having me. 48 00:03:17.960 --> 00:03:21.240 What do you think about my hypothesis there that it's 49 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:26.479 getting into sexual fetish areas. 50 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.319 Yeah, I think a couple of things that Obviously a 51 00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:33.680 lot of the the trad wife stuff, I think you 52 00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:37.439 use the word performative. That's a that's that's something I 53 00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:42.080 really resonate with, particularly because you know, I have a 54 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:46.120 wife who is a trad wife, I guess if you 55 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:50.400 want to say that. And nothing that these people create 56 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:55.039 is anything like reality, so you know, it's a total 57 00:03:55.439 --> 00:04:00.120 I mean, the levels of delusion of having again. And 58 00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:03.039 with some of it, it's funny because you'll see a 59 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:05.879 woman who has like one or two children and then 60 00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:08.000 she's like, oh, I'm a trad wife and I'm like, 61 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:12.680 I watch me bake breakfast or whatever for my husband. 62 00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.000 And then you'll see a whole video on this right 63 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:17.079 or there'll be like a three minute or two minute video. 64 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:20.600 And I saw one recently and it's like where are 65 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:23.439 the kids, Like they're not in the video, so it's 66 00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:26.519 like we're So it's like either a they're watching TV 67 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:29.839 or two you have a nanny because it if your 68 00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:32.360 kids are awake, they're with you. So that's not reality. 69 00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:35.120 So you're like, okay, that's first off, you're not making 70 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:39.839 traditional breakfast for your husband whatever else. That's nonsense. And 71 00:04:39.879 --> 00:04:42.800 then number two is a lot of times they only 72 00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:44.720 have like a couple of kids, and a lot of 73 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:46.920 times will be like, oh, I'm gonna have a huge family. 74 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:49.639 We're doing this thing, blah blah blah blah blah. And 75 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:54.199 you're like, when you have five kids, like you're barely surviving, 76 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:58.600 you know, you're not thriving, Like nobody's nobody has five kids, 77 00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:01.079 and it's like going, oh my goodness, it's like it's 78 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:05.040 just so it's so much bliss and wonderfulness. It's just 79 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:09.040 not reality. You know, it's literally just a total grind 80 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:12.199 and grueling experience, not in a bad way because you 81 00:05:12.279 --> 00:05:14.720 love your kids, but not in a way where you're 82 00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:17.680 quote unquote producing content. And then I think a lot 83 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:20.920 of the other trad stuff, which is like you know, 84 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:23.920 watch us homestead, It's like you're not homesteading unless you 85 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:27.720 have a million dollars, Like you're not buying the land. 86 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:30.600 You're not building a house, or you're not buying something 87 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:33.839 with twenty acres of land and setting up everything to 88 00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:36.839 try to get it running and operational with lessons. So 89 00:05:36.879 --> 00:05:40.240 this is like on every level, there are all these 90 00:05:40.279 --> 00:05:44.120 components that are working behind the scenes that are not 91 00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:49.000 reflective of reality. There are things that are just not feasible. 92 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:52.199 They're literally not possible when you have a family and 93 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:56.360 creating content to doing all that stuff is I mean 94 00:05:56.480 --> 00:05:59.000 just totally frivolous. So I think when you talk about 95 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:02.000 that aspect, I think this is what you said, very performative. 96 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:10.240 I think when you get into the gender role as 97 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:14.279 I see it being expressed, I think that there's a 98 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:18.519 very very strong rebound. So we often see this, which 99 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:23.360 is you know, the culture dives hard left where it's 100 00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:26.560 like it's all you know, I mean, you know, if 101 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:28.399 you're what you know, if you want to have a 102 00:06:28.439 --> 00:06:30.879 happy marriage, have a happy wife. You know, happy wife, 103 00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:33.680 happy life. Never have an you know your wife is 104 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:36.680 always right, don't ever disagree. I mean, like all kinds 105 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:39.800 of just absurdist statements that make women kind of like 106 00:06:40.279 --> 00:06:42.560 the center of the universe in your life, and you're 107 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:46.720 there to be subservient to her emotional desires and whims 108 00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:50.879 and whatever else and curtail yourself around her to then 109 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:54.160 rebounding on the other side, which is like it's all 110 00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:58.439 about male domination. So now the wife is just there 111 00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:01.319 to serve and take care of her husband. And now 112 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:05.240 the husband has become the center point or the focal 113 00:07:05.279 --> 00:07:08.839 point of the relationship. And he's the one who's the 114 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:11.439 head of the family. He's in charge, he's the dominant one. 115 00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:16.560 Blah blah blah. All you're watching in culture is just rebounds. 116 00:07:17.439 --> 00:07:21.920 And so you know, when one thing doesn't work, people 117 00:07:21.959 --> 00:07:26.519 try to overcompensate by creating something else. But it's equally unbalanced. 118 00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:29.560 It's kind of like and this is a critique from 119 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:32.680 Saint John Maximovich where he is writing about the Mother 120 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:35.560 of God, and he said, you know, the Protestants go 121 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:38.920 so far where they're not even venerating her or showing 122 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:41.240 her even any respect. And yet the scripture says like 123 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:44.079 every generation will call her blessed. And then you have 124 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:47.720 the Catholic side where it's like basically maybe even drifting 125 00:07:47.720 --> 00:07:52.199 into worship and she becomes kind of this deified or 126 00:07:52.279 --> 00:07:55.839 divine figure, almost fourth person of the treaty, which is 127 00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:59.120 also unbalanced. And there's a middle path, and you know, 128 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:02.600 it's what we taught. And oftentimes I actually, when I'm 129 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:05.959 looking for answers on something, I'll notice the left and 130 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:08.480 the right and the imbalance, and then I'll be like, hey, 131 00:08:08.519 --> 00:08:12.360 what's the what's the middle path? So if the culture 132 00:08:12.360 --> 00:08:14.680 for the last unteen decades has been going to this 133 00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:18.600 left path where it's like woman centric or woman dominant, 134 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:22.199 and now we're seeing a rebound where men are like, no, 135 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:25.079 it's male dominant, and it's and it's about man. Neither 136 00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:27.879 one of these are correct. Marriage is about the marriage, 137 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:31.079 which is both the husband and the wife. The goal 138 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:37.120 of the husband's leadership is to create a secure environment 139 00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:41.320 for the wife so that she can thrive. You don't 140 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:45.279 do that by dominating her, you know, And and I've 141 00:08:45.320 --> 00:08:47.039 preached on this numerous I mean, I've been married for 142 00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:50.639 twenty two years, and I'm one hundred percent like, uh, 143 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:54.919 the husband is ahead of the house. The wife is 144 00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:57.840 is in submission to him. But I'll tell anybody, look, 145 00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:00.919 there is maybe two or three three times a year 146 00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:04.480 where I actually have to tell my wife like, sweetheart, 147 00:09:04.519 --> 00:09:06.480 I love you and I value your opinion on this, 148 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:08.559 but like this is what has to happen, and this 149 00:09:08.600 --> 00:09:11.840 is what we're doing. I mean, we're talking two three 150 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:15.200 times a year. The rest of the time, I'm looking 151 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:18.120 for her input, what works for her, how we can 152 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:21.799 work together on something, whatever else. Why, Because it's about 153 00:09:21.799 --> 00:09:23.960 the harmony, and the harmony and the integrity of the 154 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:28.159 marriage is two people becoming one. It's not about one 155 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:31.720 person becoming dominant over the other person. And the other 156 00:09:31.799 --> 00:09:36.080 person in kind of this quote unquote submission role where 157 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:39.639 they're being they're not just being submissive, they're being dominated. 158 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:42.919 You know, my wife is an adult woman. She doesn't 159 00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:46.080 need me to tell her to do everything. I don't 160 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:48.000 need to give my wife a schedule for the day 161 00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:49.600 or for the week or tell her what she needs 162 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:52.200 to get done. She's an adult. Why would I have 163 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:56.360 a relationship with it with a woman? With my wife specifically, 164 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:59.440 where I'm treating her as if she's an adolescent. And 165 00:09:59.480 --> 00:10:03.159 I actually see a lot of this language where the 166 00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:06.159 men are creating kind of a quote unquote and the 167 00:10:06.200 --> 00:10:09.200 men are not really men, but for the sake of conversation, 168 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:14.360 the males are creating this kind of adult adolescent dynamic 169 00:10:14.440 --> 00:10:17.679 between the two of them where one is dominating the other. 170 00:10:17.799 --> 00:10:20.720 She she needs me to tell her to do she 171 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:22.840 needs me to figure everything out and tell her to 172 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:26.600 do things and instruct her and all. It's like, I 173 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.159 don't know, man, maybe you married like somebody who has, 174 00:10:29.279 --> 00:10:32.159 you know, developmental problems or something, because like a normal 175 00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:34.360 human being who's an adult can figure out what to 176 00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:38.600 do with their week. Well that's the daddy dom Yeah, 177 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:42.360 And I think that it's it's hard to say because again, 178 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:47.279 to be to be fair, I'm not as familiar with 179 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:51.279 that aspect of the society, Like I'm just not I'm 180 00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:55.519 not very familiar with that content. So I would say, like, 181 00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:57.080 I'm not familiar at all. I don't want to say 182 00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:00.679 very familiar. Yeah, I'm familiar with that content. So I 183 00:11:00.759 --> 00:11:04.279 don't know how that content feeds into this. I just don't. 184 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.200 But I think that it's it seems to be it 185 00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:16.120 seems to be a rebound effect. Where again, since the 186 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:24.360 beginning of time, there has been an attempt at whatever 187 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:27.159 you want to say, authority. You know, even this is 188 00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:30.679 Saint Isaac the Syrian says that, you know, Eve's attempt 189 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:34.360 to eat the fruit first was to usurp Adam's authority. 190 00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:38.440 So we know that this is a temptation for women. 191 00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:40.440 This does not mean that every woman gives into this. 192 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:43.279 We just know that it's a temptation for women to 193 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.519 try to usurp the authority of their husband. But the 194 00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:54.080 counterbalance to that is that the husband is so loving, kind, nurturing, manly, 195 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:59.879 stable that she finds security and peace in his leadership. 196 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:06.200 Thought that he basically manipulates her or stuffs her into 197 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:10.840 submission and all these other things. Again, and I saw 198 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:15.519 this quote on Twitter recently, which was this guy. He 199 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:17.600 didn't even have facial hair. He was like in his 200 00:12:17.639 --> 00:12:20.360 early twenties or something, which no knock and I got married. 201 00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:22.080 I didn't have facial hair. I was twenty years old, 202 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:24.279 but he was so young, and he was like, yeah, 203 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:26.720 my job as the husband is telling my wife basically 204 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:29.799 what to do. And then she's supposed to do it, 205 00:12:29.879 --> 00:12:31.840 and then if I'm wrong, she needs to kind of 206 00:12:31.879 --> 00:12:34.879 like live with the consequences or whatever. And I was like, 207 00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:38.279 that's just bad leadership, Like that's not even like that 208 00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.440 has nothing to do with biblical marriage. You're just immature 209 00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:44.960 and don't understand good leadership. Good leadership in marriage is 210 00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:48.559 good leadership in any facet of life, which a good 211 00:12:48.679 --> 00:12:51.320 leader as a servant leader. A good leader is somebody 212 00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:54.200 that people around them say, that person is looking out 213 00:12:54.200 --> 00:12:58.200 for my best interest, not their own. They're not selfish, 214 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:01.480 they're not self centered, they're not ego to they're actually 215 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:06.279 leading because it's the best use of their abilities in 216 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:10.679 this dynamic. But they make everybody a winner. And I 217 00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:12.879 look at a lot of these things that guys are saying, 218 00:13:12.919 --> 00:13:16.200 and I'm like, these guys are losers. So they're trying 219 00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:19.840 to dominate somebody as a validation for the fact that 220 00:13:19.879 --> 00:13:22.360 they don't really have it together and don't really know 221 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:25.480 what they're doing. And that's not how you have a marriage, 222 00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:27.320 at least that's not how you have a marriage that 223 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:30.039 lasts long. And in fact, there's a lot of information 224 00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:32.240 on I'll I'm sorry if I'm going a little bit 225 00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:35.879 long on this, but there's a there's a person who 226 00:13:35.879 --> 00:13:38.519 started coming to my church and she was sharing with 227 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:41.440 me some of the dynamics that happen within this kind 228 00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:45.000 of reform tradition where a lot of this is being promulgated, 229 00:13:45.399 --> 00:13:47.600 and some of the stories that she was telling me 230 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:50.559 about people's marriages and the way that this is you 231 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:54.720 this is a it's it's they're taking something that is biblical, 232 00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:58.440 but they're I would say, they're using it really in 233 00:13:58.440 --> 00:14:04.559 an abusive way. It's abuse of the power because the 234 00:14:04.679 --> 00:14:07.600 use of the power becomes self serving for the husband, 235 00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:10.120 it's not for the wife. And that's one of the 236 00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:13.360 things I would say, is like, you know, I had 237 00:14:13.480 --> 00:14:15.159 I mean not to go down at Tangent, but like, 238 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:18.559 there was a guy that I knew and probably this 239 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.960 is probably one of the nicest compliments anybody's ever said 240 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:24.480 to me, which he said, he's a married guy, had 241 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.399 had several children, doesn't go to church, but he were 242 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:33.120 family friends and he said, like, what do you do? 243 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:36.120 He's like, your wife looks at you with a lot 244 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:39.600 of respect, like she genuinely like how do you get 245 00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:42.519 her to do that? And that really stuck with I mean, 246 00:14:42.519 --> 00:14:44.720 that's probably one of the best compliments anyone's ever paid me. 247 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:46.879 But I really thought about him. Like one facet of 248 00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:48.799 that is the fact that like my wife knows that 249 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:53.240 she is the center of like my world. And that 250 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:56.840 doesn't mean that I she knows that I don't feed 251 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:59.559 into every whim, desire, feeling, emotion. I mean, it's just 252 00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:01.279 not my personality. It's not what I do as a 253 00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.279 leader because it's not healthy, right, But she knows that 254 00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:08.279 the things that I'm doing in the family, my work ethic, 255 00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:11.759 and the decisions that I make are one hundred percent 256 00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.919 to her benefit and the benefit of the children. So 257 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:18.279 she can see very clearly that the leadership model is 258 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:21.399 not a pyramid scheme where everybody at the bottom is 259 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:23.200 feeding the person at the top and they do the 260 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:26.480 least and they get all the benefits. It's the inverted 261 00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:29.279 triangle right that we see in the church, which is 262 00:15:29.559 --> 00:15:31.600 the leadership is actually you know, we have that inverted 263 00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:34.720 triangle like this right in the church, and the leadership 264 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:37.799 is actually at the bottom, and the leadership is taking 265 00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:40.320 all of the pressure and all of the weight to 266 00:15:40.519 --> 00:15:45.159 carry everybody weaker than them, and they're utilizing all of 267 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:49.120 their strengths, gifts, and abilities to be a stable, resting 268 00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:52.840 place for everybody else in their life. So in twenty 269 00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:54.480 two years of marriage, I mean, I don't go to 270 00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:57.879 my wife with my problems. My wife's not my best friend. 271 00:15:57.919 --> 00:16:01.159 I never use that language, not my best friend. I 272 00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:03.840 don't go to her with my problems. Why because I 273 00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:06.320 want her to know I'm always available for her with 274 00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:10.279 whatever she has going on. I don't. I don't unload 275 00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:14.519 on her emotionally. I don't complain to her. I don't 276 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:18.000 tell her when things go wrong. You know, there's a 277 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:21.080 very much a distinct role that we have in the 278 00:16:21.159 --> 00:16:24.360 relationship where she knows if I have an issue, I 279 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:27.120 will take it to another man to help me resolve it. 280 00:16:27.480 --> 00:16:31.279 So that I'm always available emotionally for her to rely 281 00:16:31.399 --> 00:16:36.039 on me. Those are some of the dynamics so that 282 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.600 she sees and then she's like, oh, he's basing his 283 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:43.159 life around you know, the good the wellness and the 284 00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:46.559 good fortune of the family, and the family comes first, right, 285 00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:48.799 He's not like sending me out to get a job 286 00:16:48.840 --> 00:16:51.320 so he can buy a boat, or he can have 287 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:54.399 an extra vacation every year, or like, you know what, 288 00:16:54.440 --> 00:16:56.919 I mean, like she sees me working seven days a 289 00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:58.720 week so that she can stay home with the kids, 290 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:03.879 and all those different things, all those components are that 291 00:17:04.039 --> 00:17:06.759 build the love and the admiration is because a good 292 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:10.519 leader loves and sacrifices himself for the people that are 293 00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:13.440 under his care, and they know that he works harder 294 00:17:13.480 --> 00:17:16.559 than anybody else. And I just I see so much 295 00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:19.319 of what's being touted as leadership. It's like it just 296 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:21.680 doesn't even meet the criteria. If they were in the 297 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:24.519 corporate if they were in the corporate world and they 298 00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:27.359 espouse some of these ideas about leadership, it would never 299 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:29.559 even fly. People would see right through it and just 300 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:33.279 say that just sounds like somebody who's selfish and self centered. 301 00:17:33.559 --> 00:17:38.559 So so you just describe a couple things to me, 302 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:42.880 leadership would be like a man has a goal for 303 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:46.799 his life, or he has a direction that he's going in, 304 00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:51.559 and he can have a woman with him who agrees, Yes, 305 00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:54.119 that's where I want to go too, and I will 306 00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:57.880 follow you to this goal of you know, a godly. 307 00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:59.759 Family, or we're going to have an X amount of 308 00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:01.559 money year, we're going to do you know, this is 309 00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:03.880 our lives. We're missionary or whatever. You know. 310 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:05.880 Yeah, sure, And. 311 00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:11.960 It's in contrast to just acquiring someone and telling them 312 00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:17.200 what to do, right, getting a wife to a lot 313 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:22.000 of the complaints that I hear online is like they 314 00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:24.880 just want someone to do the chores and do the 315 00:18:24.960 --> 00:18:31.440 childcare and support them free domestic invisible labor they call it. 316 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:34.839 So that the man can meet all of his goals 317 00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:38.039 and get his needs met, and then once he gets 318 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:41.480 to a certain level, then he wants to kind of 319 00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.720 level up. And that's why you see people extending getting 320 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:50.079 married for a long time, because you know, they they 321 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:53.000 call him Bob the builder, like, build my life with me, 322 00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:55.680 and then once I, you know, become what I want 323 00:18:55.720 --> 00:18:58.359 to be, then I will get a new woman along 324 00:18:58.400 --> 00:18:59.960 with my new status and everything like that. 325 00:19:01.880 --> 00:19:03.640 Yeah, I mean it's very it's I mean, it's obviously 326 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:07.319 it's dehumanizing, right, I mean, that's like that that's the 327 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:10.759 undercurrent which is with a lot of these things. It's dehumanizing. 328 00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:14.240 It's not treating women as being made in the image 329 00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:16.279 of God. If you were to actually peel back a 330 00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:18.720 lot of the onion layers of like what's being said 331 00:19:19.240 --> 00:19:22.359 and why it's being said, it completely strips women of 332 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:26.799 their nobility. That's really what it's about. And I think 333 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:31.880 that that comes from the pornography culture. That's what that 334 00:19:31.920 --> 00:19:39.359 culture does. It creates, It creates, Uh, how do you 335 00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:43.279 want to put it? Females are an object for my 336 00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:50.279 own gratification and basically, you know, you know, sexual fulfillment. 337 00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:54.640 They're not human beings, they're not persons. It's they don't 338 00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:59.160 have thoughts and feelings. And I think that I think 339 00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:01.359 some of that out of just the fact that there's 340 00:20:01.400 --> 00:20:03.680 two things I would say on that. Number one is 341 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.160 if a man conditions himself to watch a bunch of 342 00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:12.039 performative things that are dehumanizing to women and only see 343 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:15.279 women as one thing, then they're just going to dehumanize 344 00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:17.400 them all the time and all kinds of different context 345 00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:20.359 because of that, they're not going to be able to 346 00:20:20.440 --> 00:20:26.000 understand that. Number two is women are radically complex, vastly 347 00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:30.119 more complex than us men like, vastly more complex, and 348 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:35.279 that complexity is dignified in the fact that it's created. 349 00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:39.000 It's how a woman is expresses that she's made in 350 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:43.920 the image of God. It just is nothing there's nothing 351 00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:49.160 wrong about the ways in which a woman is created. 352 00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:53.400 Now that can be manifested in the wrong way. Right, 353 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:58.039 So women can be emotional. They have much much more 354 00:20:58.079 --> 00:21:01.440 sensitive hormones I talked about than the recent video. I mean, 355 00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:05.160 we're talking on the magnitude of literally hundreds of times 356 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:07.640 the hormones that men have, and when it comes to 357 00:21:07.799 --> 00:21:13.079 estrogens and other things that create very vibrant, almost technicolor 358 00:21:13.160 --> 00:21:16.279 experiences of life in a way that they kind of 359 00:21:16.359 --> 00:21:19.079 soak things up in a much deeper way than men do. 360 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:25.720 There's nothing negative about that. That's not bad. Now, have 361 00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:29.519 we all known women who manipulate the people around them 362 00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:35.319 because of their emotional fragility and because they utilize their 363 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:39.839 emotions and their cunningness in a negative way? Yes, we've 364 00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:42.359 all known people like We've all known women like that. 365 00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:45.200 We've all known women who marry the most passive man 366 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:47.599 on the planet so that she can do whatever she 367 00:21:47.720 --> 00:21:52.160 wants with him. And it's totally unhealthy and dysfunctional. But 368 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:56.960 the core of womanhood is not bad because of that, right, 369 00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:59.920 and how women express being creating the image of God 370 00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:02.880 is a good and beautiful thing. It can get out 371 00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:06.119 of whack, but it's the same thing with being a man. Right, 372 00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:08.920 we know that men are strong and can be and 373 00:22:08.960 --> 00:22:12.240 can be strong leadership types. And yet we know lots 374 00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:15.519 of men who have utilized their power, influence, and position 375 00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:20.400 to manipulate and subjugate other people. It's the misuse of 376 00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.599 what was created in the image of God. So the 377 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.920 core facets of a woman are not they're not bad, 378 00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.759 they're not malformed. They're made in the image of God. 379 00:22:28.759 --> 00:22:36.759 They're beautiful and wonderful. The problem is most men really cultivating, loving, 380 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:43.200 nourishing and bringing along a woman is literally beyond their 381 00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:46.880 skill set, and they don't know how to handle it. 382 00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:49.599 And they don't know how to handle a real woman. 383 00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:53.920 They don't know how to connect with them while correcting them, 384 00:22:54.400 --> 00:23:02.680 without without validating them, without you know, subjugating them. You 385 00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:06.480 know that there's this love and this trust that happens 386 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:09.880 in marriage, even to the point where you know, I 387 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.759 you know that, even to the point now at twenty 388 00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:14.519 two years of marriage where my wife is like, just 389 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.400 please help me to understand this and what I need 390 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:19.000 to do now. Did my wife do that in the 391 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.440 first year or two of marriage. No, of course not. 392 00:23:21.799 --> 00:23:25.119 You know, that's not what happens in marriage. In fact, 393 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:27.200 I probably need to make a video at some point. 394 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:30.200 But there is a whole process in marriage really where 395 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:33.079 a woman grows in her trust and love and admiration 396 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:36.359 for her husband. And it takes time, it really does. 397 00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:39.079 We live in a fallen world where there can be 398 00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:42.079 a distrustful element that kind of seeps its way into 399 00:23:42.119 --> 00:23:46.599 marriage that women are concerned about. The point being with 400 00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:49.079 all of that, which is back to this issue of 401 00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:54.720