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Speaker 1: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Jamie Hanshaw and we

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are going to have another episode of gender Wars and

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Weirdness with Father Moses McPherson. He is the priest at

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Holy Mother of God Parish in Austin, Texas, and my

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friend and Jay's friend, and a sigma male. He's transcended

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alpha male into sigma male. He's a very masculine authority

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to appeal to. Because you know, I've been triggered by

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Twitter again and I have this hypothesis about the Biblical

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masculinity and submission posts, and if you'll indulge me, I'm

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going to try and make a case that this is

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really getting weird. Okay, So the whole alpha male phenomenon,

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I don't know if you all know this, probably not

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because you didn't spend time. I'm on four sean in

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the two thousands like I did. But the verbiage that

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they're using, and anytime you see an account on Twitter

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with the words biblical or masculinity or any kind of

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like combination alpha male, this or whatever, it's gonna be whack. Okay,

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because this stuff came from corn and furries specifically. Okay,

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the whole alpha male, beta male, submission subdom. My idea

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is that we are being made to witness some kind

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of public display of fetishism with some of these posts

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and these accounts. I know that's kind of like a

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big thing to say, but like I said, so the

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alpha male comes from Furries and from Korn and from

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for Cheon, and then you have a lot of accounts

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with very very young men like they can't even vote,

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and they're telling in what to do. They're saying you

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need to be this, and that they're telling them to

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shut up right on air, being very disrespectful. And the

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submission language I'm hearing is also very fetishistic with I mean,

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everybody knows what BDSM is, right, So you have a

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dominant and a submissive person and a lot of the

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language in these posts is identical to the sexualization fetish

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And then you have the trad wife aesthetic, which is,

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you know, nothing too crazy, but it's blurring into the

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lines of performative aesthetics. So I know that's a lot

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for the introduction, and I have about twenty questions from

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Twitter to ask you, and because my opinion is getting

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less and less valuable, I feel as time goes on

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as a woman, and that's a weird thing to witness also,

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so I wanted to appeal to male authority. I'm an

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Orthodox Christian. Obviously we are triarchal. I'm not a feminist,

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but I'm not a weirdo either. So that's why I

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brought you on. Because you're a nice, masculine, normal guy.

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You have five sons, you have an incredible wife, you

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have a vibrant household. So welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: What do you think about my hypothesis there that it's

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getting into sexual fetish areas.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a couple of things that Obviously a

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lot of the the trad wife stuff, I think you

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use the word performative. That's a that's that's something I

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really resonate with, particularly because you know, I have a

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wife who is a trad wife, I guess if you

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want to say that. And nothing that these people create

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is anything like reality, so you know, it's a total

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I mean, the levels of delusion of having again. And

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with some of it, it's funny because you'll see a

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woman who has like one or two children and then

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she's like, oh, I'm a trad wife and I'm like,

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I watch me bake breakfast or whatever for my husband.

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And then you'll see a whole video on this right

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or there'll be like a three minute or two minute video.

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And I saw one recently and it's like where are

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the kids, Like they're not in the video, so it's

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like we're So it's like either a they're watching TV

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or two you have a nanny because it if your

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kids are awake, they're with you. So that's not reality.

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So you're like, okay, that's first off, you're not making

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traditional breakfast for your husband whatever else. That's nonsense. And

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then number two is a lot of times they only

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have like a couple of kids, and a lot of

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times will be like, oh, I'm gonna have a huge family.

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We're doing this thing, blah blah blah blah blah. And

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you're like, when you have five kids, like you're barely surviving,

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you know, you're not thriving, Like nobody's nobody has five kids,

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and it's like going, oh my goodness, it's like it's

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just so it's so much bliss and wonderfulness. It's just

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not reality. You know, it's literally just a total grind

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and grueling experience, not in a bad way because you

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love your kids, but not in a way where you're

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quote unquote producing content. And then I think a lot

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of the other trad stuff, which is like you know,

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watch us homestead, It's like you're not homesteading unless you

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have a million dollars, Like you're not buying the land.

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You're not building a house, or you're not buying something

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with twenty acres of land and setting up everything to

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try to get it running and operational with lessons. So

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this is like on every level, there are all these

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components that are working behind the scenes that are not

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reflective of reality. There are things that are just not feasible.

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They're literally not possible when you have a family and

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creating content to doing all that stuff is I mean

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just totally frivolous. So I think when you talk about

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that aspect, I think this is what you said, very performative.

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I think when you get into the gender role as

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I see it being expressed, I think that there's a

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very very strong rebound. So we often see this, which

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is you know, the culture dives hard left where it's

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like it's all you know, I mean, you know, if

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you're what you know, if you want to have a

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happy marriage, have a happy wife. You know, happy wife,

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happy life. Never have an you know your wife is

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always right, don't ever disagree. I mean, like all kinds

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of just absurdist statements that make women kind of like

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the center of the universe in your life, and you're

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there to be subservient to her emotional desires and whims

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and whatever else and curtail yourself around her to then

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rebounding on the other side, which is like it's all

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about male domination. So now the wife is just there

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to serve and take care of her husband. And now

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the husband has become the center point or the focal

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point of the relationship. And he's the one who's the

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head of the family. He's in charge, he's the dominant one.

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Blah blah blah. All you're watching in culture is just rebounds.

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And so you know, when one thing doesn't work, people

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try to overcompensate by creating something else. But it's equally unbalanced.

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It's kind of like and this is a critique from

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Saint John Maximovich where he is writing about the Mother

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of God, and he said, you know, the Protestants go

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so far where they're not even venerating her or showing

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her even any respect. And yet the scripture says like

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every generation will call her blessed. And then you have

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the Catholic side where it's like basically maybe even drifting

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into worship and she becomes kind of this deified or

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divine figure, almost fourth person of the treaty, which is

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also unbalanced. And there's a middle path, and you know,

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it's what we taught. And oftentimes I actually, when I'm

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looking for answers on something, I'll notice the left and

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the right and the imbalance, and then I'll be like, hey,

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what's the what's the middle path? So if the culture

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for the last unteen decades has been going to this

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left path where it's like woman centric or woman dominant,

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and now we're seeing a rebound where men are like, no,

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it's male dominant, and it's and it's about man. Neither

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one of these are correct. Marriage is about the marriage,

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which is both the husband and the wife. The goal

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of the husband's leadership is to create a secure environment

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for the wife so that she can thrive. You don't

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do that by dominating her, you know, And and I've

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preached on this numerous I mean, I've been married for

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twenty two years, and I'm one hundred percent like, uh,

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the husband is ahead of the house. The wife is

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is in submission to him. But I'll tell anybody, look,

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there is maybe two or three three times a year

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where I actually have to tell my wife like, sweetheart,

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I love you and I value your opinion on this,

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but like this is what has to happen, and this

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is what we're doing. I mean, we're talking two three

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times a year. The rest of the time, I'm looking

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for her input, what works for her, how we can

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work together on something, whatever else. Why, Because it's about

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the harmony, and the harmony and the integrity of the

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marriage is two people becoming one. It's not about one

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person becoming dominant over the other person. And the other

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person in kind of this quote unquote submission role where

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they're being they're not just being submissive, they're being dominated.

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You know, my wife is an adult woman. She doesn't

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need me to tell her to do everything. I don't

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need to give my wife a schedule for the day

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or for the week or tell her what she needs

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to get done. She's an adult. Why would I have

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a relationship with it with a woman? With my wife specifically,

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where I'm treating her as if she's an adolescent. And

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I actually see a lot of this language where the

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men are creating kind of a quote unquote and the

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men are not really men, but for the sake of conversation,

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the males are creating this kind of adult adolescent dynamic

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between the two of them where one is dominating the other.

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She she needs me to tell her to do she

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needs me to figure everything out and tell her to

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do things and instruct her and all. It's like, I

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don't know, man, maybe you married like somebody who has,

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you know, developmental problems or something, because like a normal

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human being who's an adult can figure out what to

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do with their week. Well that's the daddy dom Yeah,

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And I think that it's it's hard to say because again,

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to be to be fair, I'm not as familiar with

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that aspect of the society, Like I'm just not I'm

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not very familiar with that content. So I would say, like,

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I'm not familiar at all. I don't want to say

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very familiar. Yeah, I'm familiar with that content. So I

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don't know how that content feeds into this. I just don't.

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But I think that it's it seems to be it

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seems to be a rebound effect. Where again, since the

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beginning of time, there has been an attempt at whatever

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you want to say, authority. You know, even this is

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Saint Isaac the Syrian says that, you know, Eve's attempt

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to eat the fruit first was to usurp Adam's authority.

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So we know that this is a temptation for women.

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This does not mean that every woman gives into this.

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We just know that it's a temptation for women to

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try to usurp the authority of their husband. But the

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counterbalance to that is that the husband is so loving, kind, nurturing, manly,

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stable that she finds security and peace in his leadership.

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Thought that he basically manipulates her or stuffs her into

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submission and all these other things. Again, and I saw

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this quote on Twitter recently, which was this guy. He

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didn't even have facial hair. He was like in his

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early twenties or something, which no knock and I got married.

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I didn't have facial hair. I was twenty years old,

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but he was so young, and he was like, yeah,

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my job as the husband is telling my wife basically

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what to do. And then she's supposed to do it,

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and then if I'm wrong, she needs to kind of

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like live with the consequences or whatever. And I was like,

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that's just bad leadership, Like that's not even like that

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has nothing to do with biblical marriage. You're just immature

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and don't understand good leadership. Good leadership in marriage is

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good leadership in any facet of life, which a good

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leader as a servant leader. A good leader is somebody

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that people around them say, that person is looking out

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for my best interest, not their own. They're not selfish,

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they're not self centered, they're not ego to they're actually

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leading because it's the best use of their abilities in

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this dynamic. But they make everybody a winner. And I

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look at a lot of these things that guys are saying,

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and I'm like, these guys are losers. So they're trying

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to dominate somebody as a validation for the fact that

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they don't really have it together and don't really know

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what they're doing. And that's not how you have a marriage,

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at least that's not how you have a marriage that

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lasts long. And in fact, there's a lot of information

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on I'll I'm sorry if I'm going a little bit

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long on this, but there's a there's a person who

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started coming to my church and she was sharing with

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me some of the dynamics that happen within this kind

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of reform tradition where a lot of this is being promulgated,

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and some of the stories that she was telling me

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about people's marriages and the way that this is you

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this is a it's it's they're taking something that is biblical,

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but they're I would say, they're using it really in

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an abusive way. It's abuse of the power because the

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use of the power becomes self serving for the husband,

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it's not for the wife. And that's one of the

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things I would say, is like, you know, I had

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I mean not to go down at Tangent, but like,

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there was a guy that I knew and probably this

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is probably one of the nicest compliments anybody's ever said

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to me, which he said, he's a married guy, had

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had several children, doesn't go to church, but he were

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family friends and he said, like, what do you do?

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He's like, your wife looks at you with a lot

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of respect, like she genuinely like how do you get

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her to do that? And that really stuck with I mean,

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that's probably one of the best compliments anyone's ever paid me.

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But I really thought about him. Like one facet of

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that is the fact that like my wife knows that

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she is the center of like my world. And that

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doesn't mean that I she knows that I don't feed

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into every whim, desire, feeling, emotion. I mean, it's just

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not my personality. It's not what I do as a

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leader because it's not healthy, right, But she knows that

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the things that I'm doing in the family, my work ethic,

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and the decisions that I make are one hundred percent

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to her benefit and the benefit of the children. So

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she can see very clearly that the leadership model is

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not a pyramid scheme where everybody at the bottom is

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feeding the person at the top and they do the

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least and they get all the benefits. It's the inverted

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triangle right that we see in the church, which is

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the leadership is actually you know, we have that inverted

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triangle like this right in the church, and the leadership

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is actually at the bottom, and the leadership is taking

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all of the pressure and all of the weight to

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carry everybody weaker than them, and they're utilizing all of

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their strengths, gifts, and abilities to be a stable, resting

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place for everybody else in their life. So in twenty

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two years of marriage, I mean, I don't go to

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my wife with my problems. My wife's not my best friend.

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I never use that language, not my best friend. I

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don't go to her with my problems. Why because I

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want her to know I'm always available for her with

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whatever she has going on. I don't. I don't unload

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on her emotionally. I don't complain to her. I don't

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tell her when things go wrong. You know, there's a

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very much a distinct role that we have in the

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relationship where she knows if I have an issue, I

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will take it to another man to help me resolve it.

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So that I'm always available emotionally for her to rely

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on me. Those are some of the dynamics so that

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she sees and then she's like, oh, he's basing his

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life around you know, the good the wellness and the

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good fortune of the family, and the family comes first, right,

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He's not like sending me out to get a job

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so he can buy a boat, or he can have

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an extra vacation every year, or like, you know what,

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I mean, like she sees me working seven days a

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week so that she can stay home with the kids,

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and all those different things, all those components are that

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build the love and the admiration is because a good

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leader loves and sacrifices himself for the people that are

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under his care, and they know that he works harder

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than anybody else. And I just I see so much

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of what's being touted as leadership. It's like it just

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doesn't even meet the criteria. If they were in the

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corporate if they were in the corporate world and they

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espouse some of these ideas about leadership, it would never

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even fly. People would see right through it and just

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say that just sounds like somebody who's selfish and self centered.

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Speaker 3: So so you just describe a couple things to me,

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leadership would be like a man has a goal for

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his life, or he has a direction that he's going in,

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and he can have a woman with him who agrees, Yes,

305
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that's where I want to go too, and I will

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follow you to this goal of you know, a godly.

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Speaker 1: Family, or we're going to have an X amount of

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money year, we're going to do you know, this is

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our lives. We're missionary or whatever. You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, And.

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Speaker 1: It's in contrast to just acquiring someone and telling them

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what to do, right, getting a wife to a lot

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of the complaints that I hear online is like they

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just want someone to do the chores and do the

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childcare and support them free domestic invisible labor they call it.

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So that the man can meet all of his goals

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and get his needs met, and then once he gets

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to a certain level, then he wants to kind of

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level up. And that's why you see people extending getting

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married for a long time, because you know, they they

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call him Bob the builder, like, build my life with me,

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and then once I, you know, become what I want

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to be, then I will get a new woman along

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with my new status and everything like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's very it's I mean, it's obviously

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it's dehumanizing, right, I mean, that's like that that's the

327
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undercurrent which is with a lot of these things. It's dehumanizing.

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It's not treating women as being made in the image

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of God. If you were to actually peel back a

330
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lot of the onion layers of like what's being said

331
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and why it's being said, it completely strips women of

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their nobility. That's really what it's about. And I think

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that that comes from the pornography culture. That's what that

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culture does. It creates, It creates, Uh, how do you

335
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want to put it? Females are an object for my

336
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own gratification and basically, you know, you know, sexual fulfillment.

337
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They're not human beings, they're not persons. It's they don't

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have thoughts and feelings. And I think that I think

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some of that out of just the fact that there's

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two things I would say on that. Number one is

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if a man conditions himself to watch a bunch of

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performative things that are dehumanizing to women and only see

343
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women as one thing, then they're just going to dehumanize

344
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them all the time and all kinds of different context

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because of that, they're not going to be able to

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understand that. Number two is women are radically complex, vastly

347
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more complex than us men like, vastly more complex, and

348
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that complexity is dignified in the fact that it's created.

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It's how a woman is expresses that she's made in

350
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the image of God. It just is nothing there's nothing

351
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wrong about the ways in which a woman is created.

352
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Now that can be manifested in the wrong way. Right,

353
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So women can be emotional. They have much much more

354
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sensitive hormones I talked about than the recent video. I mean,

355
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we're talking on the magnitude of literally hundreds of times

356
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the hormones that men have, and when it comes to

357
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estrogens and other things that create very vibrant, almost technicolor

358
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experiences of life in a way that they kind of

359
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soak things up in a much deeper way than men do.

360
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There's nothing negative about that. That's not bad. Now, have

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we all known women who manipulate the people around them

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because of their emotional fragility and because they utilize their

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emotions and their cunningness in a negative way? Yes, we've

364
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all known people like We've all known women like that.

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We've all known women who marry the most passive man

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on the planet so that she can do whatever she

367
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wants with him. And it's totally unhealthy and dysfunctional. But

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the core of womanhood is not bad because of that, right,

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and how women express being creating the image of God

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is a good and beautiful thing. It can get out

371
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of whack, but it's the same thing with being a man. Right,

372
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we know that men are strong and can be and

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can be strong leadership types. And yet we know lots

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of men who have utilized their power, influence, and position

375
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to manipulate and subjugate other people. It's the misuse of

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what was created in the image of God. So the

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core facets of a woman are not they're not bad,

378
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they're not malformed. They're made in the image of God.

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They're beautiful and wonderful. The problem is most men really cultivating, loving,

380
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nourishing and bringing along a woman is literally beyond their

381
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skill set, and they don't know how to handle it.

382
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And they don't know how to handle a real woman.

383
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They don't know how to connect with them while correcting them,

384
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without without validating them, without you know, subjugating them. You

385
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know that there's this love and this trust that happens

386
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in marriage, even to the point where you know, I

387
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you know that, even to the point now at twenty

388
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two years of marriage where my wife is like, just

389
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please help me to understand this and what I need

390
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to do now. Did my wife do that in the

391
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first year or two of marriage. No, of course not.

392
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You know, that's not what happens in marriage. In fact,

393
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I probably need to make a video at some point.

394
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But there is a whole process in marriage really where

395
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a woman grows in her trust and love and admiration

396
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for her husband. And it takes time, it really does.

397
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We live in a fallen world where there can be

398
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a distrustful element that kind of seeps its way into

399
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marriage that women are concerned about. The point being with

400
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,079
all of that, which is back to this issue of

401
00:23:51,799 --> 00:23:54,720
coorn and how that affects people. You know, when a

402
00:23:54,759 --> 00:23:57,160
man does not when a man is not able to

403
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enjoy and interact with the woman and she cannot express

404
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,240
herself as a normal woman with the kind of technicolor

405
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experience of what it is to interact with the woman,

406
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,319
he's trying to turn her into somebody that's black and white.

407
00:24:10,759 --> 00:24:13,440
M hm. So she cleans, she cleans, she up keeps,

408
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and then she gives them, you know, sex, and that's it,

409
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and that's what she's good for, and that's you know,

410
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it's it's it's incredibly dehumanizing, is what it is, which

411
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is what corn is. Corn Is is dehumanizing. They take

412
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somebody who's creating the image of God, who could become

413
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a saint, who could become deified with the Holy Spirit,

414
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and makes them basically, you know, an icon of the

415
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devil and a means by which the passions of lust

416
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are are fed and fermented into a person's soul. It's atrocious.

417
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Speaker 1: So it's being positive, and I think it's because of

418
00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:01,039
like the corn culture and just this is the paradigm

419
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that this generation views women in. Now, it's being positive

420
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that evil comes into the world through women. How can

421
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:12,880
you refute that?

422
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Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. It reminds me of a story,

423
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and it's so good. It's so good it highlights us.

424
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When I was in college, we went to a small

425
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Dutch Neil Calvinist college called Redeemer up in Canada, and

426
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I think it was a woman's dorm. Uh. And they

427
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had written on the window on the first floor. So

428
00:25:35,839 --> 00:25:38,279
there's like kind of like two story apartment building dorms

429
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kind of things or houses. They were like houses, I guess,

430
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:45,240
I think. Anyways, and somebody had written on the window

431
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where would man be without woman? Without women? Question mark?

432
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And then another a guy had come up and wrote

433
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in another marker the garden.

434
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Speaker 1: Oh uh huh.

435
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Speaker 2: So it was like so, but it was like, this

436
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,400
is actually the highlight of everything that's wrong with the

437
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,680
Garden of Eden. Right, so like women are like they

438
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,119
see themselves as being self referential, as like the height

439
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:14,720
of all creation. And the man, he doesn't take responsibility

440
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,440
for the fact that like men would not be in

441
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,440
the garden. Men didn't lose the garden because of women. Right,

442
00:26:20,599 --> 00:26:25,759
that's Adam's whole problem twofold. According to the fathers, number

443
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one is that he blames Eve, so he doesn't take responsibility.

444
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And then number two, the father say he doesn't repent.

445
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In fact, when Christ initially the preincarnate logos in the

446
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garden questions Adam and Eve, the fathers as they say,

447
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it's a period of time before he returns, and they

448
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,880
actually get expelled from the garden. They said, if in

449
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that time Adam and Eve had repented, they would have

450
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remained in the garden, but they failed to repent, and

451
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:59,559
in fact Adams Adam's response is this all happened because

452
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you God gave me the woman. So if you notice

453
00:27:03,559 --> 00:27:05,640
this is the distinction between a good leader and a

454
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:10,160
bad leader, right, A good leader takes responsibility for their decisions.

455
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,680
A bad leader pawns those decisions off on another person

456
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,599
or blames another person. So is it surprising that men

457
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,440
today are still blaming women for everything that's wrong. No,

458
00:27:21,559 --> 00:27:26,799
because that's that is that is men, in their weakness,

459
00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:33,119
failing to take responsibility for their maturation who they are.

460
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,799
It's an interesting thing because men are like, I've we

461
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,599
don on this recently. Men are like, we are the

462
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,799
most powerful. But then they also go, well, but women

463
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,920
are subjecting us or subjugating us, Right, who's the most powerful?

464
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: Then yes, you don't see what the top of the dominance,

465
00:27:48,279 --> 00:27:49,920
hierarchy and the.

466
00:27:50,079 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 2: Ass right, you don't get to be a victim at

467
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,480
the top, because that means that somebody else is really

468
00:27:54,519 --> 00:27:57,759
at the top. The whole thought process is like, oh,

469
00:27:57,799 --> 00:28:00,680
I'm the top, but women are so mean and bad

470
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,960
they like get me, and then they're doing this to me,

471
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000
and now I'm a victim. It's like, well, then women

472
00:28:05,079 --> 00:28:07,640
are the most powerful, so that it actually proves your point.

473
00:28:07,839 --> 00:28:10,799
So the only way for you to really counteract that

474
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:15,519
is to say men are the most powerful. The men

475
00:28:15,599 --> 00:28:20,119
today are terrible at leadership and understanding and leading women,

476
00:28:20,599 --> 00:28:24,240
and so because of that, we've created a dynamic where

477
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,279
women are usurping men's authority because men are pathetic. So

478
00:28:28,319 --> 00:28:30,640
men are supposed to be here, but they're and women.

479
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,559
So if you look at objectively, men are supposed to

480
00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:34,880
be here. Women are supposed to be here more in

481
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,480
their roles, not in their worth. There's a difference. Men

482
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,119
and women are both creating the image of God and

483
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,200
have equal value. But men are created to have this

484
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,799
particular role of leadership. Women are created to have this

485
00:28:46,039 --> 00:28:50,759
particular role of following. But because men are poor leaders,

486
00:28:51,119 --> 00:28:55,039
they they end up subjecting themselves to the leadership of women.

487
00:28:56,799 --> 00:28:59,440
And why does that happen? This is the number one thing.

488
00:28:59,799 --> 00:29:04,119
Why does that happen? Because men don't follow God. If

489
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,759
men follow The number one thing that you see probably

490
00:29:08,839 --> 00:29:11,279
in relationships, right, this is a little off the cuff,

491
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,200
but a little number one thing you kind of see

492
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,079
is you see women manipulating men. Women are more are

493
00:29:18,279 --> 00:29:22,440
in when it comes to psychological conversations, the use of

494
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:27,079
emotion and the use of words, women are vastly more

495
00:29:27,119 --> 00:29:30,440
superior than men. They have a better vocabulary, they have

496
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,160
a better grasp on their feelings, they have all these

497
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,119
different things that they have like a whole tool chest

498
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,319
at their disposal, right when it comes to communication, and

499
00:29:41,359 --> 00:29:45,160
they tend to be superior communicators in this realm of

500
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,720
interpersonal dynamics. Okay, men are superior when you're communicating about

501
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:55,519
war strategy, chess engineering, or whatever else. But when it

502
00:29:55,519 --> 00:30:01,880
comes to interpersonal dynamics, women are far superior. Men do

503
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,319
not know how to engage that in a normal, healthy

504
00:30:05,359 --> 00:30:09,440
way and still remain a kind of in their position

505
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:12,480
as the leader. They don't know how to do that

506
00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:16,039
because they don't subject themselves to God. They don't have

507
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,079
that grace from God in order to be a good leader.

508
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,079
The thing is, a man cannot be a good man

509
00:30:23,119 --> 00:30:26,960
without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. And so men

510
00:30:27,039 --> 00:30:29,119
think that they're going to be men and leaders and

511
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,799
all this without the grace of the Holy Spirit, and

512
00:30:31,839 --> 00:30:36,000
it doesn't work. They can't do it because they because

513
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,319
they become intimidated, they become afraid, they don't know what

514
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,920
to say, they don't know how to control themselves, They

515
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,880
overreact emotionally, they don't know how to communicate well. Right.

516
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,880
All of those are a byproduct of the fact that

517
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:53,920
they are They are underdeveloped in the primary areas that

518
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,279
they're underdeveloped with God. If their relationship with God was

519
00:30:57,279 --> 00:30:59,400
in the right place, their relationship with their wife would

520
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,480
be in the right place.

521
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: As well, And we do a lot of our work

522
00:31:03,039 --> 00:31:07,599
in research about how this was designed to be this

523
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,599
way on purpose to raise people in a very narcissistic way,

524
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,039
in a way that they have you know, arrested development

525
00:31:14,119 --> 00:31:16,880
in this aon of Horus they call it. So everybody

526
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,039
is going to be childish, nobody's going to be mature

527
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:24,759
enough to actually be the type of person that it

528
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:26,279
should be in a relationship.

529
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:30,519
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, Well, I mean one of the things that

530
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,759
one of the things that men are afraid of men

531
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,799
are men fall into people pleasing. They fall into people pleasing,

532
00:31:37,799 --> 00:31:41,720
and they want to make women happy. And so that's

533
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,079
not a bad thing that men want to make women happy.

534
00:31:44,119 --> 00:31:48,200
That's a that's not a bad vulnerability. But what ends

535
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,039
up happening is they become intimidated by the emotions that

536
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:54,559
they experience when they don't make a woman happy, and

537
00:31:54,599 --> 00:31:57,839
so they're not able to differentiate themselves in good decisions

538
00:31:58,279 --> 00:32:02,160
from the negative experience. A good healthy man has an

539
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,079
emotional stability that's on his own. He's already locked in,

540
00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,960
and so he's able to kind of weather the storms

541
00:32:09,119 --> 00:32:12,200
sometimes of what maybe his wife in a more vulnerable

542
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,079
state or given over to an emotional at temptation will

543
00:32:16,119 --> 00:32:19,359
throw at him. How do men become like that? Well,

544
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,279
they have to have a relationship with God. They have

545
00:32:21,359 --> 00:32:25,000
to become stabilized. They have to become normal and healthy men.

546
00:32:25,319 --> 00:32:28,480
If not, then they then they're just they're they're tossed

547
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,279
to and fro. You know, I've experienced this so many

548
00:32:31,279 --> 00:32:33,559
times as a priest. I mean, I'll have a woman

549
00:32:33,599 --> 00:32:36,440
who comes to me. Typically it's it's women whose husbands

550
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,480
don't come to church, and they'll ask me to do

551
00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:42,079
something or want something or whatever else. And sometimes it's

552
00:32:42,119 --> 00:32:44,440
reasonable and I can say yes, and sometimes it's unreasonable.

553
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,119
It's just it's a request, it's not that's not going

554
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,079
to be able to be fulfilled. And they will try

555
00:32:50,079 --> 00:32:53,759
to hold it against me emotionally, as if they're upset

556
00:32:53,799 --> 00:32:55,559
with me, and as if I should care that they're

557
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,960
upset with me, And that usually is hard for them because,

558
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,920
as they find out really quick, I don't care if

559
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:06,279
they're upset with me. I'm like, look, first off, my

560
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:09,880
wife doesn't manipulate me like this. Second off, you're using

561
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,599
a manipulation that you use on your husband because it works.

562
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:16,960
And third, you need to be an adult and we

563
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,000
need to have a normal adult adult relationship where we

564
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,839
can agree and disagree on things. But I have to

565
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,200
remain the priest. So there's times where I have to

566
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,200
tell you things that you know, I simply cannot do

567
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,599
or they're practical or whatever else or not within my

568
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:35,319
purview as a priest. That's it. But this manipulation that

569
00:33:35,359 --> 00:33:39,039
women do, which is a default, right, women kind of

570
00:33:39,079 --> 00:33:42,400
default to it is very hard for men to combat

571
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,000
unless they have, you know, a kind of an emotional

572
00:33:46,039 --> 00:33:50,799
integrity that is separated from them. Right. Men default to

573
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,599
a passivity. This is a problem with men, which is

574
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:57,839
they become intimidated and they and they and they default

575
00:33:57,839 --> 00:34:03,079
a passivity or they or they overcompensate to super aggression, right,

576
00:34:03,119 --> 00:34:05,480
and they get kind of wild on either way. Either

577
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,599
way they're like, Okay, just tell me what to do, honey,

578
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,239
or they're like, you're not going to tell me to

579
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,800
do anything. I'm crazy. Right, And there needs to be

580
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,719
that center point, but you don't get there without God.

581
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,639
You can't get into that centered place as a man

582
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,079
without God's grace. You're just not going to get there.

583
00:34:23,599 --> 00:34:25,559
It's not going to happen like it's just not going

584
00:34:25,639 --> 00:34:26,039
to happen.

585
00:34:26,679 --> 00:34:32,159
Speaker 1: So anyways, you're absolutely right about all of that, and

586
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,320
what we're seeing here is a complete and total collapse

587
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:41,440
of riz and romance. So I wanted to talk to

588
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,639
you about romance because this is something going around. They

589
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,039
are saying that romance is something broke men made up

590
00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:54,039
in order to extract resources from naive women. Now, this

591
00:34:54,079 --> 00:34:56,639
is something I don't want to hear because I feel

592
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:59,599
like I'm a romantic person. You know, I like love

593
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:03,920
and sweetness and bunnies and hearts, and you know, I

594
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:11,440
want a healthy relationship. Is romance faith? I mean, when

595
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:15,559
you go into an Orthodox church, that's a very romantic place, right,

596
00:35:15,639 --> 00:35:20,280
It's adorned with gold and jewels and pictures of your

597
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:25,199
loved ones, and there's candles, there's flowers, you're kissing everything.

598
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:27,159
I mean, how can it get more romantic than that?

599
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,519
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's one of those things again,

600
00:35:30,639 --> 00:35:32,559
is like we just EXPI I think men and women

601
00:35:32,679 --> 00:35:39,960
like experience things so radically different that one of the

602
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,639
healthiest things that we can do, which we've not been

603
00:35:42,679 --> 00:35:45,679
able to do in our society, is let each other

604
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:51,719
just be ourselves. So right in seventeen years or whatever

605
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:56,079
being Orthodox. I've never thought that the Orthodox Church was romantic.

606
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,079
But when you say it, I go, that makes sense.

607
00:35:59,159 --> 00:36:01,119
She's a woman. That's where she sees.

608
00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: That's where you get married, that's where you take your Maria.

609
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,519
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful thing. But see, that's a beautiful thing.

610
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,239
I'll never see it that way, right, I'll just never

611
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,920
see I talked to a guy yesterday on the phone

612
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,880
who's coming to Orthodoxy, and he said, I've been listening

613
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:19,239
to Orthodox trant and he said it's like battle hymns.

614
00:36:20,039 --> 00:36:21,840
And I was like, and I was laughing, but I

615
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:27,360
was thinking, no woman describes Orthodox chances battle hymns. They don't. Right.

616
00:36:27,559 --> 00:36:30,320
We have things within us that resonate with us. It's

617
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,760
not a it's not a it's not an objective, and

618
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,079
it's not a good or bad. It's very much subjective

619
00:36:36,119 --> 00:36:39,000
to who we are creating the image of God. And

620
00:36:39,079 --> 00:36:41,320
that's not a bad thing. Right. So like when we

621
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,800
talk about romance, it's like, I'm not really a romantic person,

622
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,840
like most men are not, like the majority of men

623
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,159
are not. But I want to do things for my

624
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,280
wife because I love and adore my wife, and they

625
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:59,639
speak to my wife in that way, right, So so

626
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:04,519
we express it's very very very very clear. We express

627
00:37:04,599 --> 00:37:09,599
affection for each other in ways that we want that

628
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:13,719
same affection be expressed to us, but we're so different

629
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,079
that we don't really do it, right. I mean, this

630
00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:19,360
is why so much of the confusion around the genders

631
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,880
happens is because I think what happened in our society

632
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,920
is like one we've been constantly trying to dominate each

633
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,840
other and not exist harmoniously. But for us to exist

634
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,159
harmoniously within the church, we really have to allow each

635
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:39,840
other to be ourselves. And so you know, an example

636
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,679
of that when you talk about romance is unlike any

637
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,079
man who's been married for more than a minute knows

638
00:37:46,079 --> 00:37:49,000
that his wife loves romance. And that's an expression of

639
00:37:49,039 --> 00:37:52,719
who she is as a woman. It just is. And

640
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,079
that's a fine thing. There's nothing wrong with that. That's

641
00:37:55,079 --> 00:37:57,960
a beautiful thing. That's like, I mean, you know, to

642
00:37:58,039 --> 00:38:00,639
this day, there was a there is an anniversary. I

643
00:38:00,639 --> 00:38:02,800
hope my wife doesn't see this. There is an anniversary

644
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,239
where I like planned this trip, I like created a

645
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,679
map and we went to all these different places and

646
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:10,880
did all these different things. To this day, she still

647
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,400
remembers the anniversary. She doesn't remember any of the other

648
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,559
ones right because it was like, oh my goodness, that

649
00:38:15,679 --> 00:38:17,679
was just we did this and we did that, and

650
00:38:17,679 --> 00:38:19,960
we'd like there was so many different things that we

651
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:24,639
did and that was like, you know why, because that's

652
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,280
that speaks to her soul. Do I remember that as

653
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,760
being significant? No, No, it's just why I'm not really romantic.

654
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,880
I just don't care about those things. It doesn't speak

655
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,960
to me at all. Is that a bad thing, No,

656
00:38:37,679 --> 00:38:44,280
it's just it's it's uh, it's just who we are,

657
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,280
right like the other For instance, I'll give you another example.

658
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:51,840
The other night, we were lifting weights in the garage

659
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,519
and my wife brought the baby out front and we were,

660
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,639
I don't know, doing something. We were deadlifting and she

661
00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:59,159
had to bring the baby upfront to get to the

662
00:38:59,159 --> 00:39:01,480
car or something like that, and I said, hey, watch

663
00:39:01,559 --> 00:39:04,280
me hit this deadlift. And I hit this super fast

664
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,719
deadlift and was just like all amped and the guys

665
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,760
were like, everybody's pumped up. She's like, that's great, And

666
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,880
then she sent me a text She's like, good job

667
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,280
on the deadlift. That looked great or something.

668
00:39:14,559 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: Huh.

669
00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:19,639
Speaker 2: I just like it you know, it's like it's like

670
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,400
none of the guys are like, oh, yeah, you know

671
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,320
what I mean. Nobody's like, oh, like that was really

672
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,039
good father, you know, that's that right. But your wife

673
00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:34,000
does that right because she's being sweet and cuddly and

674
00:39:34,079 --> 00:39:36,000
kind for the same way that she wants that to

675
00:39:36,039 --> 00:39:39,800
be shown to her. That's fine, that's fine. I think

676
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,599
that this is the thing that I that I look

677
00:39:41,639 --> 00:39:43,920
at with a lot of what the men are talking

678
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,000
about is they're like, oh, these things about women are preposterous,

679
00:39:48,079 --> 00:39:51,440
and it's like they're not. They're just women. There's nothing

680
00:39:51,559 --> 00:39:54,639
abnormal or weird about them. Like and like I love women,

681
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:57,800
so like, you know, like they liked the chit chat.

682
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:02,519
Like for instance, I work out three days a week

683
00:40:02,559 --> 00:40:05,760
with two of my godsons. I mean we probably have

684
00:40:06,199 --> 00:40:08,599
you know, we probably use sub five hundred words the

685
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:11,440
whole work out for two hours. You know what I mean.

686
00:40:11,519 --> 00:40:14,599
If there is something that's said, it's probably maybe hypothetically

687
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:17,400
to make fun of somebody or whatever else, or to

688
00:40:17,519 --> 00:40:20,440
like tease somebody or to like push somebody right to

689
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,760
do something. Why is that? Because we're men and we're

690
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,719
just being men doing man stuff and that's what we enjoy,

691
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,559
you know. And then on Tuesday nights the women will

692
00:40:31,559 --> 00:40:33,519
come over to our house for the women's group, and

693
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,480
you know there's times where we just chitchat for like

694
00:40:36,519 --> 00:40:40,480
an hour straight on just whatever, and it's just small talk,

695
00:40:40,559 --> 00:40:44,400
conversation whatever else. Why is that women love that stuff

696
00:40:44,679 --> 00:40:48,480
if they just do nothing wrong with that? Just nothing

697
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,320
wrong with that at all. And I think that's what

698
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,719
I think. The part that irritates me today is that

699
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,719
like people are trying to create all these hard boundaries

700
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:59,119
of like I don't know what's acceptable based on their

701
00:40:59,159 --> 00:41:02,280
own gender, and it's like, oh, like what men are

702
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,440
doing is completely normal for men, and what women are

703
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,760
doing is completely normal for women. That's why we see

704
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:12,000
so many similarities in what people are doing, right, like

705
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,480
it because it comes natural. It's not a fake thing.

706
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,119
So anyways, romance is one of those things. It's just

707
00:41:20,159 --> 00:41:22,480
women love it. They love it, you know.

708
00:41:23,559 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 1: Is it could it be like a form of you know,

709
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:30,599
asceticism or like, h I mean that's the purpose of

710
00:41:30,679 --> 00:41:34,079
marriage is to serve somebody else right in the way

711
00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:39,960
that they feel. Yeah, so let's talk about that for

712
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:46,199
a second. What is the purpose? Because people are abandoning

713
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:50,159
the entire institution at a very alarming rate. And I

714
00:41:50,199 --> 00:41:53,239
want to ask you some more questions specifically about that,

715
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,960
but let's just go over real quick. What is the

716
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,000
purpose of getting married?

717
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, the purpose of being married, fundamentally is

718
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,920
to be deified, to become like Christ. Right, So the

719
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,559
marriage works as kind of a background. You know, it's

720
00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:12,920
kind of like a gym. Why do you own a gym.

721
00:42:13,079 --> 00:42:14,719
You own a gym to get strong and to get

722
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,280
big and get into shape. You don't own a gym

723
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,840
for the sake of having a gym. That's not the

724
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,039
point of having the gym is to have a gym. Right,

725
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,119
So the purpose of the marriage is not to have

726
00:42:24,159 --> 00:42:26,320
a marriage. The purpose of the marriage is that it

727
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,360
would be transformative for the two of you to make

728
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,840
both of you more into the image of Christ. And

729
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,960
so all of the disagreements, all of the hardships, the

730
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,760
asceticisms of self denial, all of the facets that go

731
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:46,480
into marriage are the training ground for making you more

732
00:42:46,599 --> 00:42:49,599
like Christ. That's why we have the crowns of martyrdom.

733
00:42:49,679 --> 00:42:52,320
I mean, it's an ironic thing, right, we have the

734
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,199
crowns of martyrdom and then I just did a wedding

735
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,639
yesterday actually ironically. But you have the crowns of martyrdom

736
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,960
that you wear during your service, right in your marriage

737
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,320
service in the Orthodox Church, when people are like, oh,

738
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,880
it's king and queen or prince and princess, and it's

739
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,679
like romantic, it's not. It's crowns of martyrdom. Well, the

740
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,320
next question is who's martyring you? That's the person standing

741
00:43:17,119 --> 00:43:21,400
right all right? Why? Because they get impatient with you,

742
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,880
they get selfish, they do this, they say something unkind.

743
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,800
You've got to turn the other cheek. You've got to

744
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:32,119
forgive them seventy times seven. You've got to love them. Right.

745
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,320
All of the beatitudes get into all of the Gospel

746
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,800
of Christ and all of his teachings, and the beatitudes

747
00:43:38,639 --> 00:43:41,719
come into play in the marriage when you love that

748
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,119
other person who at times feels like an enemy, and

749
00:43:45,199 --> 00:43:49,679
that's normal. That's like a normal marriage where those things happen.

750
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:55,079
And in that process you learn to love God and

751
00:43:55,119 --> 00:43:58,280
you learn to love them more than you love yourself.

752
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,800
And the marriage and that's what the marriage is complete

753
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,599
in and of itself, that's what it is now as

754
00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:08,840
it comes to creating a family, which we know is

755
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:14,880
one of the primary aspects of the marriage service. Even

756
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,440
right when we read all yesterday I married a couple

757
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:22,239
in their I want to say their late forties or so.

758
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:26,840
But they're not having their past having children maybe early fifties. Okay,

759
00:44:27,079 --> 00:44:29,320
they're not having kiddos anymore. And they've already been married

760
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:30,960
for a couple of years and they're not having kiddos.

761
00:44:32,119 --> 00:44:35,880
All the prayers in the service are still about having kids.

762
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,880
You know, there's hunting prayers in the service about having children.

763
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,559
What is the purpose of having a family again, it's

764
00:44:41,599 --> 00:44:46,119
to expand on that asceticism that's self denial in whatever else.

765
00:44:46,599 --> 00:44:49,199
But what else does the service talk about? The service

766
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:54,719
also talks about whatever rich bounty you experience in the marriage,

767
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,320
that you would take care of other people. And so

768
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,880
for this couple yesterday, when I gave the homily at

769
00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:01,920
the end, I said, look, the two of you are

770
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,119
like pillars in our community. We can rely on you.

771
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:08,639
You're trustworthy. They have God children in the church, you

772
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:10,960
know what I mean. They have an example to set

773
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,880
by their marriage. Right. So, some people within marriage are

774
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,920
blessed with the family, and sometimes for various reasons, people

775
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,599
are not blessed with the family. The point is is

776
00:45:19,599 --> 00:45:23,039
that the marriage is still about deification, and the marriage

777
00:45:23,079 --> 00:45:26,159
is still supposed to be a platform or a springboard

778
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,559
for blessing the people around us. So if we're not

779
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,519
we if we're not raising children because that's not a

780
00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:36,679
part of our marriage, we should still be working hard

781
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,159
to raise the other children in the parish. We still

782
00:45:40,199 --> 00:45:43,440
should be offering help to the people in the parish

783
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,639
who have kids. We should be volunteering our time to

784
00:45:46,679 --> 00:45:49,000
babysit or to do this or to do that. Or

785
00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:51,800
we see somebody struggling financially, going well, hey, we don't

786
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,880
have kids, we'll help them out financially. We'll do these

787
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,079
different things. Right, So, when somebody has kids, all of

788
00:45:58,119 --> 00:46:00,280
their energy and to focus and attention goes to the

789
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,639
kids within the marriage, and all of that is for

790
00:46:03,679 --> 00:46:08,199
their salvation. But fundamentally, with or without children, the marriage

791
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:12,320
is about blessing the family of God. That's what it's about.

792
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,840
The two of you are supposed to become even more

793
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,559
rooted and grounded in your faith. In fact, there's even

794
00:46:17,599 --> 00:46:19,880
that beautiful story. I can't remember who it was, but

795
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,800
it was a saint who had I can't remember how

796
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,800
many children. She had, five or ten children or something,

797
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,920
and then a plague came through everyone in her family died,

798
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:31,559
all of her children died, and then she adopted all

799
00:46:31,599 --> 00:46:36,360
of the children that were lost after the plague, became

800
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,079
the mother to all of them. And then there's also

801
00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:43,559
like Saint Ea in Ireland who is called the Mother

802
00:46:43,639 --> 00:46:49,360
of Saints because she was a monastic at a at

803
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,360
an orphanage, and then a number of the boys and

804
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,239
trusted to do her care became saints. She became a saint.

805
00:46:55,280 --> 00:47:02,000
Also Ida e Man I can't remember, but she's an

806
00:47:02,039 --> 00:47:05,400
Irish saint. The point is is that like in whatever

807
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,519
place that we find ourselves, in marriage with or without children,

808
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,320
with or without a family, everything about the marriage is

809
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:14,800
to sanctify us, to make us less concerned with ourselves,

810
00:47:15,159 --> 00:47:18,039
more concerned with the church family, and to take care

811
00:47:18,159 --> 00:47:21,559
and to bless the people around us. That's what marriage

812
00:47:21,599 --> 00:47:25,800
is about. And the irony is all of our teaching

813
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,519
in our society is the more that you make life

814
00:47:28,559 --> 00:47:34,480
about yourself, the more fulfilled you'll be. And the and

815
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:37,400
this is a complete contradiction of the Gospel. The more

816
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,280
that you make your life about Christ the more that

817
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,639
your life is fulfilled, the more that you make your

818
00:47:44,679 --> 00:47:48,599
life about other people, the more fulfilled you are. The

819
00:47:48,639 --> 00:47:52,800
most selfish people are one hundred percent the most miserable people,

820
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:58,599
the most selfless, giving generous people in the church one

821
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:03,559
hundred percent are always the happiest, best adjusted, most wonderful

822
00:48:03,599 --> 00:48:07,079
to be around people. It's just the way that it is,

823
00:48:07,159 --> 00:48:09,199
you know. It's like Christ says, whoever loses their life

824
00:48:09,199 --> 00:48:11,519
shall gain it. So the person who's trying to keep

825
00:48:11,559 --> 00:48:14,880
their life compartmentalized and tucked away and meet and tidy

826
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,519
and all to themselves, those are the people who always

827
00:48:17,559 --> 00:48:22,599
struggle with the most with neuroticism and OCD and and

828
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:27,039
you know, self love and selfishness and fear of finances

829
00:48:27,079 --> 00:48:29,079
and all this. And the people who just give it

830
00:48:29,119 --> 00:48:31,440
all away are the people who live with the most

831
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,760
freedom and the most joy and the most love. They

832
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,840
are always the people you want to emulate in the church.

833
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 1: So the primary purpose is the salvation, and then the

834
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:52,519
family or the children is sort of a secondary outcome

835
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,280
of the marriage.

836
00:48:54,519 --> 00:49:00,280
Speaker 2: Correct, Yeah, I mean it's a natural it is quote

837
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:05,320
unquote a natural extension of the marriage. Okay, it doesn't happen,

838
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,599
but it is part of it.

839
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:13,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying this because on Twitter, on the Internet,

840
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:18,559
there's a big push for you know, getting married, to

841
00:49:18,599 --> 00:49:22,079
start a family for this express purpose of having children.

842
00:49:23,119 --> 00:49:25,880
And then it gets weird when they start calling women

843
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,880
too old in their twenties. You know, you're twenty five,

844
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,119
you're past your prime for having kids, and they call

845
00:49:32,159 --> 00:49:35,440
them things like you're an empty egg carton. And then

846
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:40,719
you see them advocating for large age gap relationships. So

847
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:45,920
this is a hot issue that they've been talking about.

848
00:49:46,079 --> 00:49:49,880
So a lot of the manuscript people are pushing for

849
00:49:50,079 --> 00:49:56,400
overseas relationships, they call it passport bros. And large age

850
00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:00,000
gap relationships up to you know, twenty twenty five years.

851
00:50:00,199 --> 00:50:02,159
And so I wanted to get your opinion on that.

852
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,599
I have my own opinions on those things, but I

853
00:50:05,639 --> 00:50:08,559
know those type of marriages can be blessed, but they

854
00:50:08,599 --> 00:50:11,320
also have their unique challenges too.

855
00:50:12,519 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 2: Well. I mean, one thing we should be clear on

856
00:50:14,039 --> 00:50:16,440
is that anything more than a sixteen year gap between

857
00:50:16,519 --> 00:50:19,880
husband and wife within the Orthodox Church requires a blessing

858
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:23,519
from the bishop. I see, Okay, so that's an abnormality.

859
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,039
So for a woman to be fourteen years older than

860
00:50:26,039 --> 00:50:29,159
the husband is an abnormality. And for the husband to

861
00:50:29,199 --> 00:50:32,079
be more than sixteen years older than the wife is

862
00:50:32,119 --> 00:50:35,119
an abnormality. And why is it Because those are traditional

863
00:50:35,159 --> 00:50:38,079
ages that people had children. Right, Well, if the husband

864
00:50:38,159 --> 00:50:40,239
is sixteen years older than the wife, technically he's old

865
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,719
enough to be her father. So I mean, this stuff

866
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,559
doesn't really surprise me because man's hearts are wicked and

867
00:50:46,599 --> 00:50:50,239
they're warped, you know, and they're not looking again, they're

868
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:53,840
not looking for people. They're looking for a scenario or

869
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:59,519
something idealized. But it's very divorced from humanity. It's divorced

870
00:50:59,559 --> 00:51:02,559
from realction. So in that way, I'm like, it's just

871
00:51:02,639 --> 00:51:05,239
it doesn't surprise me. I think it's just I think

872
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:08,199
it's just part of the kind of illness of the society.

873
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:13,199
It's a manifestation of the illness of like again, trying

874
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,519
to find your happiness or this or that or whatever

875
00:51:15,559 --> 00:51:18,400
in something like this again, this kind of quote unquote

876
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,920
traad lifestyle. Wait, people have three kids, and then there'll

877
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,679
be all the people saying, you know, you're better off

878
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:28,199
not having kids. Like trust me, Like the five years

879
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,639
down the line when people start having kids and they

880
00:51:30,679 --> 00:51:32,920
realize how much work it is and how brutal it

881
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:37,639
is and everything else and how hard it is. These

882
00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:42,800
people are trying to escape responsibility, not embrace responsibility. So

883
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,480
they're going to find out pretty quick that, you know,

884
00:51:46,119 --> 00:51:48,360
having kids is not the solution. And we see that

885
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,599
actually is funny enough. We see that with the boomers.

886
00:51:51,039 --> 00:51:55,039
The boomers had kids not because they wanted kids, They

887
00:51:55,079 --> 00:51:58,679
had kids because they thought they should have kids. Now

888
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,119
you have kind of a different pelum where people go, oh,

889
00:52:01,159 --> 00:52:02,960
if you have kids, it's going to make you happy

890
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,679
and fulfill you and do all this, and it's like,

891
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:10,239
that's that's not human beings don't fulfill you. They just don't.

892
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:12,639
They're wonderful. I mean, I love all the people around me,

893
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,800
but they don't fulfill me. They don't make me feel complete,

894
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,880
you know what I'm saying. Like I was complete as

895
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,119
complete as I am now before I ever had kids.

896
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,159
Speaker 1: Christ is when it completes us, right.

897
00:52:25,079 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. Yeah, it's not other people a

898
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,960
marriage doesn't. I mean again, that's another red flag when

899
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,079
people are like, oh, if I just get married, then

900
00:52:33,119 --> 00:52:36,079
I'll be like whole or complete or I'll be happy.

901
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,039
How many people I see to go, oh, I'll be

902
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:42,159
happy when I get married, and it's like, you're not

903
00:52:42,199 --> 00:52:44,159
going to be happy when you get married, and sure

904
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:45,400
enough they're not happy.

905
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

906
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 2: And the other thing is so the idea of like, oh,

907
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,320
I'll have kids and then I'll be happy, or then

908
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:53,840
our marriage will be better or then this, or it's

909
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,320
like it doesn't work like that. And you know, as

910
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:00,400
the boomers found out, which people don't seem to kind

911
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,559
of have missed that lesson in history, which was children

912
00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:08,159
don't make you happy, don't fulfill you, they don't make

913
00:53:08,199 --> 00:53:13,039
you complete, they don't do whatever. They're an absolute ton

914
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:17,239
of hard work and you can never spend enough time

915
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,159
with them because you've got all kinds of other especially

916
00:53:19,199 --> 00:53:21,760
as a husband, you've got all kinds of other engagements

917
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:23,840
that you have to participate in in order to make

918
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:27,840
money for the family. So you spend periods of time

919
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,800
with them. But they're humans, and they have they have

920
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:37,079
exaggerated faults at times, you know, overly dramatic. They're exceptionally

921
00:53:37,159 --> 00:53:41,400
needy and all these other things. It's all good because

922
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:44,639
if you're there to serve them and love them, it's fine.

923
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,960
But they're not there to serve you or make your

924
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,840
life better. You know, someone when a kid wakes up

925
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,719
at two in the morning and their bed sheet is

926
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,719
like covered in vomit, like, they're not there to make

927
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,119
you feel great about your life. You're there to get

928
00:53:58,119 --> 00:54:00,239
them out of bed, not wake your wife up because

929
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,960
she's got a baby or whatever else. You're gonna clean

930
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,519
off the blanket, You're gonna get them showered, you're gonna

931
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,079
fix the bed, take care of them, and then put

932
00:54:08,119 --> 00:54:10,119
them back to sleep. And then an hour later they're

933
00:54:10,119 --> 00:54:12,000
gonna wake up and vomit and do the whole thing

934
00:54:12,039 --> 00:54:14,039
over again. And then you're gonna do that three or

935
00:54:14,079 --> 00:54:16,280
four times in a night. Then the next night the

936
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,199
other kid is gonna start throwing up, and then you're

937
00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:20,079
gonna do that for four or five nights at a time.

938
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,440
That's not like, oh man, this is the beat. I

939
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:26,000
love being a dad. It's the best experience ever, you know, Yeah,

940
00:54:26,199 --> 00:54:28,480
it's live. I love my kids. And I think that

941
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,199
that's where it gets weird is that people are like,

942
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,840
it's so divorced. I just think it's so divorced from

943
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,719
the person that it's all become everything becomes an idea

944
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:41,559
of you know what I mean. And I think the

945
00:54:41,599 --> 00:54:43,679
other thing is too, where goes like, oh, I'm gonna

946
00:54:43,679 --> 00:54:46,079
have a huge family. I always like pump the brakes,

947
00:54:46,079 --> 00:54:47,960
wait till you have your third kid and then we'll like,

948
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:50,559
we'll see what really happens, you know.

949
00:54:51,039 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 1: M hm. A lot of this too, I think comes

950
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:02,519
from the evolutionary biology ideology of the red pill and

951
00:55:02,559 --> 00:55:05,119
the manosphere. I mean, they all believe in evolution. They

952
00:55:05,159 --> 00:55:08,119
believe that it's your only imperative is to spread your

953
00:55:08,199 --> 00:55:10,960
seed before you die. And that's where they get these

954
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:15,679
ideas that you know, you have to have as many

955
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:20,360
children as possible, as soon as possible, and the child

956
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,119
bearing years for men and women is different, so like

957
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:26,079
it's okay for a forty five year old to marry

958
00:55:26,159 --> 00:55:28,400
you know, a twenty year old because he can still

959
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:32,760
reproduce and she has you know, a shelf life. But

960
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:37,239
then this goes into their ideas about you know, infidelity,

961
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,760
adultery and cheating too, because they are still in that

962
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:44,599
evolutionary mindset, which you agree.

963
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think these people have very I mean again,

964
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:51,039
it's a very whacked out and poisonous thought process. So,

965
00:55:51,519 --> 00:55:53,840
I mean, the reality is for all of us in

966
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:58,360
fifty to one hundred years. Nobody's gonna remember us, right,

967
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,039
so to fight against that.

968
00:56:01,599 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's jump into some like actual Twitter questions.

969
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,960
These are mine, But like, should men be able to cheat?

970
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:15,360
Speaker 2: I mean not if you want to have a good,

971
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:19,159
loving relationship with your wife? I mean, yeah, Is.

972
00:56:19,079 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 1: It different when men cheat than when women cheat?

973
00:56:24,199 --> 00:56:33,679
Speaker 2: I do think that there's different. How can I put this? No,

974
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,320
I mean no, there's there's no difference. I think that

975
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,039
I do think that the culture is probably right in

976
00:56:39,119 --> 00:56:45,360
assessing that men tend to cheat due to lust and

977
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:49,760
manifestations of lust that they've cultivated in their heart, and

978
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:56,400
women cheat for more of the affirmation, attention, romantic side

979
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,840
of things that they're looking for. I do think that

980
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:02,639
the culture probably understands that. But it's one worse than

981
00:57:02,679 --> 00:57:08,320
the other, or more damaging to the relationship then the other.

982
00:57:08,679 --> 00:57:11,840
I don't think so. I mean, the whole premise of

983
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,840
a wife's relationship with her husband is that the husband

984
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:18,639
has to be the one man that she can trust.

985
00:57:19,719 --> 00:57:23,280
So if a man cheats, the relationship is dead in

986
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,559
the water. She knows fundamentally she can never trust him.

987
00:57:27,039 --> 00:57:30,880
Now Likewise, a husband has the sense with his wife

988
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,199
that she's the one person in the world that's devoted

989
00:57:33,199 --> 00:57:38,280
to him. And if she cheats, then obviously that destroys

990
00:57:39,119 --> 00:57:43,280
that narrative for their marriage and for their relationship. So

991
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:45,159
both are equally catastrophic.

992
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 1: What if she gains weight in the marriage or becomes unattractive,

993
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:57,079
is she not fulfilling her wifely duties.

994
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,199
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll be honest with you and I'll say

995
00:58:02,519 --> 00:58:05,559
I think both people have a responsibility in the marriage

996
00:58:05,599 --> 00:58:09,719
to maintain a similar physique to what they brought into

997
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:13,760
the marriage. I think that's a responsibility. Yeah, I mean,

998
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,880
I don't think that it's acceptable for men to get

999
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,480
super out of shape and out of weight and everything else.

1000
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:23,679
It's not healthy, it's not good, it's not attractive. I

1001
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,880
likewise don't think that it's that it's that, you know, again,

1002
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,840
if the sub context to all this is that we

1003
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,800
love each other and that we're trying to do the

1004
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,480
best for each other, then I think it's a no

1005
00:58:35,639 --> 00:58:42,039
brainer that a wife should strive to maintain a similar

1006
00:58:42,159 --> 00:58:46,559
physique to what she had when she got married. Within reason, right, Like,

1007
00:58:46,599 --> 00:58:49,239
my wife has had five kids within the last ten years,

1008
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:55,559
and obviously there are physical changes that take place just

1009
00:58:55,679 --> 00:58:57,480
based on the fact that you've had five kids and

1010
00:58:57,559 --> 00:59:03,599
ten years and I'm very very attracted to her, and

1011
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:10,360
she's done a phenomenal job, you know, staying very similar

1012
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,199
to how she was when we first met. I think

1013
00:59:12,199 --> 00:59:18,079
that's important. I don't think that you can. Attraction is

1014
00:59:18,119 --> 00:59:22,480
something that's very important in a marriage, just is it's

1015
00:59:22,679 --> 00:59:25,039
very important that you're attracted to the person that you're

1016
00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:29,039
married to. I think that we create a false narrative

1017
00:59:29,079 --> 00:59:31,239
when we say, oh, you know, we should just be

1018
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:36,159
you know, accepting of I don't know whatever, you know one.

1019
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:39,119
I mean, think about it this way. If somebody goes

1020
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,360
and gains let's say seventy five pounds, well they've done

1021
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:45,559
that because they've been un self controlled, they've not exercised,

1022
00:59:45,559 --> 00:59:48,880
they've not taken so right, so they've kind of neglected themselves.

1023
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,679
And then the response to that is we should just

1024
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:55,119
accept it, and it's like, well, you should still love them.

1025
00:59:55,239 --> 00:59:58,840
The love and the nurture should be paramount. Obviously, you

1026
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:00,920
want to be in a marriage where if somebody does

1027
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:07,320
put on some extra weight, which can happen, you converse

1028
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,280
about it in a healthy, normal way and say, hey,

1029
01:00:11,159 --> 01:00:13,159
you know, this is kind of what's happening, or maybe

1030
01:00:13,159 --> 01:00:16,400
this is kind of a direction that we're trending. Let's

1031
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,639
work on this together so that we don't, you know,

1032
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:23,239
go down a pathway where it's unmanageable, right, I mean,

1033
01:00:23,599 --> 01:00:25,400
you're not going to marry a girl at one hundred

1034
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:29,519
and twenty five pounds and then after humpting kids and

1035
01:00:29,719 --> 01:00:31,559
twenty years later she's going to be one hundred and

1036
01:00:31,559 --> 01:00:33,679
twenty five pounds and that's just not human bio. I mean,

1037
01:00:33,719 --> 01:00:36,400
that's just very very unrealistic.

1038
01:00:36,599 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 1: Going into the marriage. You have to have these expectations

1039
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,599
that they are going to change over time, and that's

1040
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:44,559
something that we all age. I mean, you can't stop that.

1041
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:48,960
So where do you draw the line between like you

1042
01:00:49,079 --> 01:00:50,559
betrayed me by getting ugly.

1043
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 2: The weird thing is is that there should be a

1044
01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:01,519
natural age process that takes place. But I think specifically

1045
01:01:01,519 --> 01:01:07,559
when we get into the the issue of physical bodies

1046
01:01:07,559 --> 01:01:11,440
and weight gain and whatever, you know, I can't remember

1047
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,760
what it was, but it was it was, you know,

1048
01:01:15,039 --> 01:01:17,079
I can't remember. Fifty years ago or something, they did

1049
01:01:17,119 --> 01:01:19,760
a study and the average woman was five foot five,

1050
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,199
right in one hundred and twenty five pounds or something,

1051
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,960
and today the average woman is five foot five and

1052
01:01:25,039 --> 01:01:27,320
like one hundred and eighty pounds or something like this.

1053
01:01:28,039 --> 01:01:32,480
So obviously diet, lack of exercise, and other things have

1054
01:01:32,559 --> 01:01:38,159
contributed to a general move towards obesity within our culture,

1055
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,519
which is not healthy. Right. Obesity is not good for anybody.

1056
01:01:42,599 --> 01:01:47,039
So I think that again, it's every couple is different.

1057
01:01:47,119 --> 01:01:49,880
Every couple needs to I think, have that conversation. But

1058
01:01:50,239 --> 01:01:56,400
I do think that there is some justification that's happening

1059
01:01:56,400 --> 01:02:00,519
in the culture, as if like because you have children,

1060
01:02:00,559 --> 01:02:03,440
you know you're gonna just suddenly miraculously put on fifty

1061
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,840
pounds or something. That's not realistic, Like you're gonna put

1062
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,519
on weight when you have the baby. The baby's gonna

1063
01:02:08,519 --> 01:02:10,320
come off, and then there's gonna be a process of

1064
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:14,559
nursing and you know, getting back into shape. That's normal

1065
01:02:14,599 --> 01:02:18,840
and healthy. I don't think that it's I mean, again,

1066
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,400
if somebody said, you know, father, my wife is sixty

1067
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,400
and she's wrinkly, it's like that's what happens to everybody,

1068
01:02:24,639 --> 01:02:28,440
Like that's normal, that's normal. I think that when we

1069
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:32,679
get into specifically something regarding weight gain, weight gain is

1070
01:02:32,679 --> 01:02:37,159
within our control everybody is subject to the laws of thermodynamics,

1071
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,760
so every single human being unless the laws of physics

1072
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,519
do not pertain to a person. Now, people may have

1073
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:47,199
slower metabolisms or this or that or whatever, but the

1074
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:51,320
reality is is that all of human weight on some

1075
01:02:51,679 --> 01:02:55,280
level has to do with calories in and calories out.

1076
01:02:56,199 --> 01:02:59,639
Not gain weight in a caloric deficit. It's an impossibility.

1077
01:03:01,199 --> 01:03:03,480
But we live in a society where people are eating

1078
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:06,679
fast food two times a day. They don't realize it's

1079
01:03:06,719 --> 01:03:09,679
twenty five hundred calories a meal, and then they're eating

1080
01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:11,199
a dinner at night, and now all of a sudden

1081
01:03:11,199 --> 01:03:13,760
they're over three thousand calories for the day. They just

1082
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:17,039
don't understand how calorie rich our food is. And so

1083
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,639
it's not to point the finger, but to say, look,

1084
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:25,440
if you eat according to what the society kind of

1085
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:29,480
offers you, it will tend to obesity. Because we as

1086
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:31,360
a nation, I think, are the still I think, the

1087
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:35,480
most obese nation in the world. Somber one. Yeah, so

1088
01:03:35,519 --> 01:03:40,000
this is not a genetic abnormality, but actually the byproduct

1089
01:03:40,039 --> 01:03:43,639
of what we're eating in our sedentary life. So again

1090
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:46,800
I think within and I think the thing that I

1091
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:49,239
said earlier is true too, which is I think each

1092
01:03:49,239 --> 01:03:53,039
couple needs to talk about it. And you know I

1093
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:55,719
would if you know, if I stopped working out and

1094
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,239
got way over out of shape and my wife came

1095
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:01,280
to me and said, sweetheart, you know, like this isn't attractive,

1096
01:04:01,519 --> 01:04:05,760
I would strive to get back into shape. Like I

1097
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:08,079
owe that to her because like she married me when

1098
01:04:08,079 --> 01:04:11,239
I was in shape, and she married you know, she

1099
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:14,519
had an expectation that I would do things to the

1100
01:04:14,519 --> 01:04:17,079
best of my ability to maintain my physique. I don't

1101
01:04:17,079 --> 01:04:19,199
think there's anything weird or wrong about that. I think

1102
01:04:19,199 --> 01:04:20,079
it goes both ways.

1103
01:04:20,519 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a little cartoon here that went around.

1104
01:04:25,039 --> 01:04:26,840
People were arguing about it. I don't know if you

1105
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,480
can read that, but it says.

1106
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,199
Speaker 2: Stay, oh yeah, he just of marriage.

1107
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 1: And she's got a cute butt in the beginning, and

1108
01:04:33,519 --> 01:04:35,239
then she gets frumpier and fatter.

1109
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:36,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1110
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:39,519
Speaker 1: So this was kind of a roar shock test, honestly,

1111
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,599
to see how people would react to this. And so

1112
01:04:42,639 --> 01:04:44,880
they're saying this is the number one cause of divorce,

1113
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:49,760
which I think that's kind of funny because in each

1114
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:57,039
picture he's sitting while she's working, and if you know

1115
01:04:57,159 --> 01:05:01,280
anything about women's hell. I mean, I know you're into health,

1116
01:05:01,599 --> 01:05:04,480
but you probably don't know the female side of it.

1117
01:05:04,559 --> 01:05:08,599
We lose weight very differently. Our metabolisms are a lot different.

1118
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:13,760
Cortisol and stress and overwork can lead to weight gain

1119
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:19,000
in women, not so much for men. But not having

1120
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:27,360
proper rest leads to weight gain in women a lot.

1121
01:05:27,559 --> 01:05:28,199
Have you seen that?

1122
01:05:29,559 --> 01:05:31,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean again, I think it comes back to

1123
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:35,599
this issue regarding the laws of thermodynamics, which is, you

1124
01:05:35,639 --> 01:05:40,119
have a caloric You have a basic caloric daily requirement, right,

1125
01:05:40,119 --> 01:05:42,639
which is a calories, which is calories are a function

1126
01:05:42,679 --> 01:05:44,519
of energy that you need to eat every day to

1127
01:05:44,559 --> 01:05:49,440
maintain that weight. Now, there are things that affect how

1128
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:52,199
many calories you need to eat every day, one of

1129
01:05:52,239 --> 01:05:57,880
which being your hormones, one of which being your thyroid.

1130
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:03,480
Another example of that that could be your metabolism. Certain

1131
01:06:03,519 --> 01:06:06,280
foods affect certain people a certain way. Like some people

1132
01:06:06,280 --> 01:06:08,920
can eat really high carb diets and be fi et

1133
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:11,760
a high carb diet and it's great for me. Other

1134
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:15,000
people eat high carb and they have their body does

1135
01:06:15,039 --> 01:06:17,239
a really good job of storing that as fat. Right,

1136
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,960
they have that conversion process that takes place. But there

1137
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:25,239
are some. Again, there's still fundamental laws that govern the universe,

1138
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:28,760
which is, if you are burning two thousand calories a

1139
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:32,320
day and you're eating twenty one hundred calories a day

1140
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,159
over the course of sixteen days, you're going to put

1141
01:06:36,159 --> 01:06:39,599
on a pound. Essentially. It's just that's what's going to happen.

1142
01:06:40,039 --> 01:06:45,239
So you have to have that basic metabolic understanding of

1143
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,880
how your body works, what foods are good for you,

1144
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,960
what foods aren't. Like, we don't eat a lot of protein.

1145
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:53,280
I mean, I can't tell you. Many times I talk

1146
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,000
to women, like how much protein do you eat? And

1147
01:06:55,039 --> 01:06:56,920
people say they go, oh, I'm eating like fifty grams

1148
01:06:56,960 --> 01:07:00,639
of protein a day. And it's like protein does not

1149
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:05,360
ever basically convert into fat. It is super dense. Right.

1150
01:07:05,679 --> 01:07:07,840
So you can get a steak and I was talking

1151
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:09,519
about this the other day. You can get a steak

1152
01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:12,920
that's like this big, that's six hundred calories. Then if

1153
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:15,480
you eat those six hundred calories, you will be completely

1154
01:07:15,519 --> 01:07:18,840
full and satiated and not want to eat anything else.

1155
01:07:19,559 --> 01:07:25,119
You can go to McDonald's and buy a big Mac

1156
01:07:25,679 --> 01:07:29,559
which will leave which has very little protein, has tons

1157
01:07:29,559 --> 01:07:33,199
of carbs, tons of process basically sugars in it and

1158
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:36,159
is nine hundred calories and you'll still be hungry at

1159
01:07:36,159 --> 01:07:39,360
the end of it. So there are aspects to which

1160
01:07:39,519 --> 01:07:43,280
our bodies respond to certain foods, but fundamentally the law

1161
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:48,079
of thermodynamics cannot be you know, how do you want

1162
01:07:48,079 --> 01:07:51,239
to put it violated? Right? You burn a certain amount

1163
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:53,920
of calories every day, so you need a certain amount

1164
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:56,639
of calories to stay at that weight. If you eat

1165
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,639
less calories, your body will dip into the fat stores

1166
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:02,840
and start to burn excess calories and you will start

1167
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:05,880
to lose weight. That's how it works for everybody. There's

1168
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:09,199
nobody who's exempted from this. This is this is this is,

1169
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,320
this is how God created the universe. Right. But I

1170
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,199
think the problem is is that we have very very

1171
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:20,640
bad portion control, huge problem, huge, huge problem. We have

1172
01:08:21,159 --> 01:08:28,359
very very bad food selection, huge problem. We have low protein,

1173
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:32,960
high carbon harb high fat diets, enormously bad problem. We

1174
01:08:33,039 --> 01:08:37,039
have processed foods that are full of sugars and other things, right,

1175
01:08:37,960 --> 01:08:40,439
that are not calorically dense, so you can eat a

1176
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:43,840
little something and it has a huge caloric return on it. Right,

1177
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:46,960
So all of those things are within our abilities to

1178
01:08:47,159 --> 01:08:51,000
change and to modify our eating habits, our exercise and

1179
01:08:51,039 --> 01:08:53,920
the things that we're doing. I don't think in a

1180
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:58,079
marriage your wife gaining weight right in the whole, even

1181
01:08:58,119 --> 01:09:02,279
in that even in that analogy or in the comic right,

1182
01:09:02,319 --> 01:09:04,439
there's no point at which the husband's actually talking to

1183
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:07,399
the wife or even engaging her. He's like watching TV

1184
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:10,279
or something, right, So they're not putting anything together, they're

1185
01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:13,880
not exercising together, they're not having a conversation about it. Like,

1186
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,680
if somebody were to ask me, what is probably the

1187
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:23,880
number one problem in marriages? One both people lacking a

1188
01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:28,239
lot of spiritual depth, lacking very strong relationships with God

1189
01:09:28,319 --> 01:09:31,199
would be number one. Now, if you said, what do

1190
01:09:31,239 --> 01:09:33,920
you think it is on the human level, I would say,

1191
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,520
and I've talked to lots of couples over the years,

1192
01:09:37,119 --> 01:09:40,199
I would say, you know, really, number two falls into

1193
01:09:41,319 --> 01:09:45,199
the violation of Saint Paul's commandments. Wives honor your husbands

1194
01:09:45,239 --> 01:09:49,039
and husbands love your wives. So most often I find

1195
01:09:49,039 --> 01:09:51,600
in a marriage that a wife is not honoring her husband,

1196
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,880
she's not respectful to him, she doesn't treat him with deference,

1197
01:09:56,399 --> 01:10:02,199
and the husbands don't have love for their wives. When

1198
01:10:02,199 --> 01:10:06,640
a husband doesn't love his wife. It is catastrophic. Women

1199
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:10,000
know when they are loved, and when they're being loved,

1200
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:13,560
they can sense it with their whole being. They you know,

1201
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:19,399
women have that super sense to know when they're loved,

1202
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:23,560
when they're valued, when they're cherished and are And if

1203
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:27,600
the husband does not put that out for whatever reason,

1204
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,680
it's not because of her weight. It is one hundred

1205
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:36,279
percent because he feels emasculated. He doesn't have a good

1206
01:10:36,279 --> 01:10:40,520
relationship with God himself. That's huge. He doesn't know how

1207
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:46,399
to communicate, He is exhausted from life right and is

1208
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,479
not being refilled by the Holy Spirit. All of those

1209
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:53,399
things factor into that. But never, ever, ever, ever, in

1210
01:10:53,439 --> 01:10:56,960
a marriage pretty much have I ever looked and said, oh,

1211
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,760
you know, that woman is like, is really struggling and

1212
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:04,479
she's got a great husband. I just I mean, I

1213
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:07,680
can't even recall one marriage where I said, oh, she's

1214
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:11,399
really struggling, but her husband's just like a plush. The

1215
01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:15,920
majority of the time with the husband, it's like, buddy, like,

1216
01:11:16,279 --> 01:11:20,800
your wife knows what's going Like. The problem is, it's

1217
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,399
like for men to open their heart up, they have

1218
01:11:24,479 --> 01:11:26,640
to open their heart to God. They have to find

1219
01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:29,359
their worth, their value everything in God. They have to

1220
01:11:29,399 --> 01:11:32,760
find who they are in God so that they are

1221
01:11:33,119 --> 01:11:37,319
completely rooted and situated and solid in who they are.

1222
01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:39,800
And then they can open their heart up to the

1223
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:43,600
people around them and they can take you know, they

1224
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:47,279
can they can bring other people into themselves. So when

1225
01:11:47,279 --> 01:11:50,920
a man's heart is malformed because he doesn't feel loved

1226
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,600
by God, he doesn't open his heart up to God.

1227
01:11:54,039 --> 01:11:57,520
His heart is always kind of is retarded, it's not

1228
01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:01,039
formed correct, and so he does doesn't have You know,

1229
01:12:01,119 --> 01:12:02,920
you never look at a bad marriage and go, man,

1230
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:06,319
that guy just loves his wife, right, you know, You're

1231
01:12:06,399 --> 01:12:10,479
like he resents her and and she does. She knows

1232
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:13,800
that he resents her. Like how many marriages have I

1233
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,159
talked to? Where I go, the wife resents the husband

1234
01:12:17,279 --> 01:12:21,439
and is disrespectful, and the husband can't stand the wife,

1235
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:26,359
and she knows that. And because she's being rejected by him,

1236
01:12:27,039 --> 01:12:30,960
even if she's done things that have hurt him, wounded him,

1237
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:35,079
whatever else, the fact that she's being rejected by him

1238
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:39,319
makes just throws her out. She just wives just tend

1239
01:12:39,319 --> 01:12:42,960
to just spin out because it's like a core aspect

1240
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,359
of who they are is wanting to be loved, right,

1241
01:12:46,199 --> 01:12:47,560
And the other thing is too. I have to tell

1242
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:50,279
people this. Like, look, in twenty two years of marriage,

1243
01:12:50,279 --> 01:12:53,520
I've never thought like, oh, my my wife doesn't love

1244
01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:57,359
me enough. Men don't think like this, like he don't.

1245
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,960
Now hypothetically, there's been some times where I'm like, ah,

1246
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,520
she could change that tone of voice, you know what

1247
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:06,359
I mean. But in our marriage have there been times

1248
01:13:06,399 --> 01:13:09,199
where my wife has been like you, you're not loving

1249
01:13:09,199 --> 01:13:11,720
me enough. And then when I'm really on, I'm like, man,

1250
01:13:12,119 --> 01:13:15,399
she's right, I'm frustrated about this or on this or

1251
01:13:15,399 --> 01:13:17,760
that or whatever else or these things are you know,

1252
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:21,600
coming into you know ahead, I'm overworked, I'm stressed, whatever.

1253
01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:25,239
She's right, I don't have I'm not I'm not giving

1254
01:13:25,279 --> 01:13:28,640
her enough of my heart. And that's like, dude, that's

1255
01:13:28,760 --> 01:13:31,279
that's a life force for your wife. Is that you're

1256
01:13:31,399 --> 01:13:35,840
just constantly like pumping a love, attention and affection her way.

1257
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,680
I mean it is. It's like I mean, I it's

1258
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,159
like if you could, if if you, if I could

1259
01:13:42,239 --> 01:13:44,560
just teach guys how to get into that, Like so

1260
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:46,960
many times even with guys where I'm like, you know,

1261
01:13:47,039 --> 01:13:49,960
how often do you tell your wife she's beautiful? How

1262
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,600
often do you tell her that you love her. How

1263
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:55,000
much do you compliment her on her her parenting or

1264
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:58,279
whatever else. So often guys are like, well, like, I

1265
01:13:58,279 --> 01:14:00,640
don't know, like and I'm like, this is stuff you

1266
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:03,640
got to be doing every single day and it's and

1267
01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:05,279
people are like, oh, this is the work you put

1268
01:14:05,279 --> 01:14:08,960
into marriage, Like, this isn't work, this is this is

1269
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:12,359
a normal aspect of having a healthy relationship. You spend

1270
01:14:12,359 --> 01:14:15,079
time listening to your wife every day, talk about her day,

1271
01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:18,279
the struggles that she's having, the things that are overwhelming her.

1272
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:21,600
That's normal, that's being a husband. You love her, you

1273
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:25,560
encourage her, You are affectionate to her in a non

1274
01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:29,159
forgive me, but in a non sexual way. You're you're

1275
01:14:29,439 --> 01:14:32,079
because women love a lot of that, just being touched

1276
01:14:32,079 --> 01:14:34,199
and being loved in a way that is just I

1277
01:14:34,279 --> 01:14:39,359
just love you for you. When you do all those things,

1278
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:44,399
you know, there's no problem with affection in the marriage.

1279
01:14:45,399 --> 01:14:48,239
But so often, so many guys are not doing any

1280
01:14:48,279 --> 01:14:50,000
of those things, and then they're like, oh, my wife

1281
01:14:50,039 --> 01:14:52,119
doesn't want to again. This is again one of those

1282
01:14:52,159 --> 01:14:54,039
constant things that you see on the Oh my wife

1283
01:14:54,079 --> 01:14:56,399
doesn't want to sleep with me. Oh, we don't have

1284
01:14:56,479 --> 01:14:59,439
normal marital relations whatever else. And I'm like, I feel

1285
01:14:59,439 --> 01:15:01,039
like now you of the time, Like, dude, I know

1286
01:15:01,119 --> 01:15:03,199
I could diagnose this marriage, but I was around them for

1287
01:15:03,239 --> 01:15:06,199
like thirty minutes during a dinner and see everything that

1288
01:15:06,199 --> 01:15:08,800
they have, all the dynamics they have going on. But

1289
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:12,560
fundamentally that husband is not feeding his wife the love

1290
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,119
and the attention and the affection that she needs and

1291
01:15:15,159 --> 01:15:17,800
the leadership and the leadership that she needs.

1292
01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:21,920
Speaker 1: Is monogamy too much to ask of men.

1293
01:15:25,880 --> 01:15:27,359
Speaker 2: It was got me to spit out my water there

1294
01:15:28,159 --> 01:15:29,439
expect that's.

1295
01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:33,199
Speaker 1: The consensus is that that's not fair. You can't expect

1296
01:15:33,239 --> 01:15:39,359
that I have a biological imperative. Boys.

1297
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:41,640
Speaker 2: I think I just think it's just yeah, I mean

1298
01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:44,920
I just I expect that from the culture, and I

1299
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:48,600
expect men to not not to be self controlled. I mean,

1300
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:51,880
it's just I mean, that's really is. It'd be like saying,

1301
01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,239
is it enough to expect men to be self controlled?

1302
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:57,439
Its yeah, it's enough to expect men to be self controlled.

1303
01:15:57,479 --> 01:16:00,920
Men have had one wife for the last several thousand years.

1304
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:04,920
It has not been a hinderance, but it has become

1305
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:10,079
a hindrance because men are oversaturated with sexual desires that

1306
01:16:10,199 --> 01:16:15,079
are perverse and that are not reasonable, and that are

1307
01:16:15,119 --> 01:16:17,439
not they're not going to find them within the bounds

1308
01:16:17,479 --> 01:16:20,279
of marriage. You know. Saint John Chris Awsom talks about

1309
01:16:20,319 --> 01:16:24,079
this almost you know, seventeen hundred years ago. He says,

1310
01:16:24,079 --> 01:16:28,159
the couples get together because of basically of lust, because

1311
01:16:28,199 --> 01:16:32,239
of physical what does he say, physical attraction? He says,

1312
01:16:32,319 --> 01:16:37,239
at most that attraction will last one year. So I

1313
01:16:37,239 --> 01:16:40,159
think that's actually what you see more than anything, which

1314
01:16:40,199 --> 01:16:44,039
is men get into these relationships, are attracted to this woman,

1315
01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:46,319
but they're not attracted to her in a godly way,

1316
01:16:47,319 --> 01:16:50,479
and the relationship is not based on a godly foundation,

1317
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:54,279
and so they lose interest and they lose for her.

1318
01:16:54,600 --> 01:16:58,159
Speaker 1: A lot of women complain that their boyfriend or their

1319
01:16:58,239 --> 01:17:03,439
husband doesn't even like them. Yeah, I mean she's around

1320
01:17:03,439 --> 01:17:07,439
doing everything, and he keeps her because she's useful. But

1321
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,520
they can tell, Like you just said, women know when

1322
01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:13,039
they're loved. They're figuring out this person doesn't even like

1323
01:17:13,119 --> 01:17:15,760
me despite being married to me. You know.

1324
01:17:17,239 --> 01:17:18,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's two things. I mean, number one

1325
01:17:19,039 --> 01:17:20,920
is I think that sorry, is that a question or like,

1326
01:17:20,960 --> 01:17:22,000
do you want me to comment on that?

1327
01:17:22,119 --> 01:17:22,520
Speaker 1: Go ahead?

1328
01:17:23,159 --> 01:17:24,800
Speaker 2: I think there's two things. I mean. Number one is

1329
01:17:24,840 --> 01:17:27,399
like women in our culture have really lost a lot

1330
01:17:27,439 --> 01:17:32,119
of feminine energy. They project a lot of masculine energy.

1331
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:37,520
So they're argumentative, they're aggressive, they're competitive, and they seem

1332
01:17:37,560 --> 01:17:42,479
to value these things and sometimes even like their egotistical,

1333
01:17:42,520 --> 01:17:45,079
which is weird because women naturally are not like that.

1334
01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:49,960
It's very strange. So women are modeling a lot of

1335
01:17:50,039 --> 01:17:55,399
masculine behavior and a lot of masculine energy towards their partners,

1336
01:17:55,520 --> 01:17:57,640
and then they wonder why the man doesn't want to

1337
01:17:57,680 --> 01:18:00,159
be with them, and it's because men don't want to

1338
01:18:00,159 --> 01:18:04,600
be in a sexual relationship with another man. That's really

1339
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:06,840
what it is. And women have lost a lot of

1340
01:18:06,880 --> 01:18:12,600
the sweet, tender femininity, caring, nurturing love, et cetera, et

1341
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:18,399
cetera that they have. And again, a man can love

1342
01:18:18,439 --> 01:18:22,039
a woman who's like that, But if a man tries

1343
01:18:22,119 --> 01:18:25,159
to turn a woman like that into a sexual object,

1344
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:28,960
which is again what we see why pornography is listed

1345
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,560
as the number one reason for failed marriages, they're trying

1346
01:18:33,600 --> 01:18:38,279
to turn the woman into a subhuman and so they

1347
01:18:38,319 --> 01:18:40,199
don't love women for being women.

1348
01:18:41,239 --> 01:18:44,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's a term for that. They call it

1349
01:18:44,920 --> 01:18:45,760
spiritually gay.

1350
01:18:46,960 --> 01:18:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, And so you just.

1351
01:18:50,560 --> 01:18:54,479
Speaker 1: Said that the pornography was the number one cause for divorce,

1352
01:18:55,159 --> 01:18:58,720
and so there's a statistic going around that, you know,

1353
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:02,640
women initiate eight of divorces. So are you saying that

1354
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:07,880
they're initiating that because of the poor.

1355
01:19:09,279 --> 01:19:12,319
Speaker 2: Yes, well, I mean again, everybody's gonna get offended by

1356
01:19:12,319 --> 01:19:15,159
me saying this. But women are just smarter relationally than men.

1357
01:19:16,159 --> 01:19:18,800
That's just a reality. Like you could be like men

1358
01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:24,359
are smarter, Like, look, men are smarter at chess, strategy, mathematics, engineering,

1359
01:19:25,079 --> 01:19:28,880
city building, running a government, or running a military. There's

1360
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,720
so many things that men are very good at and

1361
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:34,159
really better than women at. But there are things that

1362
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:36,239
women are better at. And one of the things that

1363
01:19:36,239 --> 01:19:40,479
women are better at is relationships. And they know fundamentally, like, look,

1364
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:42,279
this guy's not meeting my needs. He's not going to

1365
01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:44,880
meet my needs, he's not going to change, and like

1366
01:19:45,039 --> 01:19:47,479
he's toxic to be around. And so women are quicker

1367
01:19:47,479 --> 01:19:50,039
to pull the trigger on that. Men are willing just

1368
01:19:50,079 --> 01:19:53,880
to suffer it out in silence. The fallacy that like

1369
01:19:53,920 --> 01:19:57,199
women are initiating eighty percent of the divorces. There certainly

1370
01:19:57,319 --> 01:20:01,039
is a lot of women who have masculine energy, who

1371
01:20:01,479 --> 01:20:06,560
are academically changed, you know, formed and whatever else and

1372
01:20:06,600 --> 01:20:09,359
are and and really are insufferable to be around. There

1373
01:20:09,399 --> 01:20:12,560
are that is a reality in our culture. Forgive me,

1374
01:20:13,119 --> 01:20:17,600
but the reality is is that women are also quicker

1375
01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:20,920
to realize like a sinking ship and get off. Men

1376
01:20:20,960 --> 01:20:23,960
are more apt to go down with the ship. It's

1377
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:27,680
just it's just our nature. So but I but I

1378
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:30,119
think one of the things, like again it's it's the

1379
01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:33,079
whole chicken in the egg. Women are really good at

1380
01:20:33,119 --> 01:20:36,560
being women and being soft and gentle and nurturing and

1381
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:40,319
kind and adoring and all of those wonderful womanly like

1382
01:20:41,039 --> 01:20:46,359
just absolutely majestic qualities when they feel safe, when they

1383
01:20:46,359 --> 01:20:48,680
feel when they feel that their husband is devoted and

1384
01:20:48,720 --> 01:20:51,600
that he loves them and that they're the center of

1385
01:20:52,159 --> 01:20:55,199
his universe, you know what I mean, Like not when

1386
01:20:55,239 --> 01:20:57,640
he they usurp Christ, but you know what I'm saying,

1387
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,560
in terms of his life, they are that they are

1388
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:04,000
in They are the most important person outside of God

1389
01:21:04,199 --> 01:21:08,159
in their life. Women know that they know that, and

1390
01:21:08,199 --> 01:21:11,119
so then they feel safe and then they can be feminine.

1391
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:18,319
So men in our society, they don't create that safety

1392
01:21:18,359 --> 01:21:21,439
with women, you know what I mean through and one

1393
01:21:21,439 --> 01:21:24,880
of the primary ways is through lust, because a woman knows. Look,

1394
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:26,680
if a guy is looking at porn all the time,

1395
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:31,640
it's not a big first off. He's yeah, he's not

1396
01:21:31,680 --> 01:21:35,159
really being faithful to her, he doesn't really value what

1397
01:21:35,279 --> 01:21:38,960
is unique and special and precious about her. Right, she's

1398
01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:41,840
not giving she's not quote unquote giving him something that

1399
01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:45,159
he's not going and taking other places as well. And

1400
01:21:45,199 --> 01:21:48,119
then it's obviously not a hard continuance to see that.

1401
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,560
You know, there's a very strong possibility that, given the opportunity,

1402
01:21:52,960 --> 01:21:56,720
he would then violate the bounds of their relationship. So

1403
01:21:56,840 --> 01:21:59,159
they don't feel safe. So what does that do. It

1404
01:21:59,199 --> 01:22:03,039
creates a scared environment where women tend to be hostile

1405
01:22:03,119 --> 01:22:05,680
towards men. And that's what we see a lot in

1406
01:22:05,720 --> 01:22:08,880
our society. Women are very hostile towards men in our society.

1407
01:22:09,560 --> 01:22:12,640
And as a response, you know, again, men have not

1408
01:22:12,800 --> 01:22:16,640
created an environment where women can be women and that

1409
01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:19,520
they love and enjoy women for who they are like.

1410
01:22:19,640 --> 01:22:24,199
And this is the thing. I genuinely have next to

1411
01:22:24,239 --> 01:22:27,159
nothing in common with my wife, and I genuinely love

1412
01:22:27,199 --> 01:22:29,399
and enjoy being with her she's like my favorite person

1413
01:22:29,439 --> 01:22:32,560
to be with because she's a woman. She's the energy

1414
01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:36,600
is different and like she has feminine energy and when

1415
01:22:36,640 --> 01:22:39,760
she's in that, you know, when she's just being herself.

1416
01:22:40,680 --> 01:22:44,119
A really it's a relief for me. It's a relaxation.

1417
01:22:44,319 --> 01:22:48,279
I feel calm, I feel I can't describe it. I

1418
01:22:48,399 --> 01:22:52,199
just I'm like I, you know, I it's where I

1419
01:22:52,239 --> 01:22:54,439
want to be at the end of my day. I

1420
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,079
want to be with my wife at the end of

1421
01:22:56,119 --> 01:22:58,039
the day, you know. I carve out like we probably

1422
01:22:58,039 --> 01:23:01,319
spend the last typical we spend at least the last

1423
01:23:01,359 --> 01:23:03,640
hour to two hours of our day together every day,

1424
01:23:04,199 --> 01:23:07,359
just the two of us, every day. And it's like, why, well,

1425
01:23:07,399 --> 01:23:11,359
we like being together, right, So I mean, why do

1426
01:23:11,439 --> 01:23:14,000
you do that? It's like you enjoy the feeling of

1427
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:16,640
being with that person. It's not you know, we're not

1428
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:21,680
talking about world politics or anything particularly stimulating. We're just

1429
01:23:21,720 --> 01:23:25,399
being together doing whatever, talking about her day, watching a

1430
01:23:25,720 --> 01:23:27,319
part of a movie or whatever.

1431
01:23:27,399 --> 01:23:34,359
Speaker 1: You know, what about secular marriages, so it you don't

1432
01:23:34,359 --> 01:23:38,039
have to try too hard to convince men to you know,

1433
01:23:39,039 --> 01:23:43,000
not commit. And it's getting even worse and worse, and

1434
01:23:43,079 --> 01:23:48,920
so it's going around now that if it's a secular marriage,

1435
01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:50,760
you might as well not even do it at all

1436
01:23:51,319 --> 01:23:55,560
because now the support is well, I don't know about that,

1437
01:23:55,600 --> 01:24:00,800
because there have been many, many studies proving that being

1438
01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:05,000
married is beneficial in every single way to men, as

1439
01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:11,439
far as longevity, health, stability, finances, just every area of

1440
01:24:11,439 --> 01:24:14,600
your life is improved by being married, no matter if

1441
01:24:14,640 --> 01:24:18,199
it's a secular marriage or not. But now they're like,

1442
01:24:18,279 --> 01:24:20,560
the core system is so bad that we're just not

1443
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,720
gonna get married at all. We're just gonna, you know,

1444
01:24:23,399 --> 01:24:26,479
sleep around or do whatever we want to do. And

1445
01:24:26,640 --> 01:24:29,479
I just don't think if you're waiting for the core

1446
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:34,760
system to be fixed, that's never gonna happen. So if

1447
01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:38,279
you're boycotting marriage until that day, that's just.

1448
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's I think it's like Saint Paul says,

1449
01:24:42,079 --> 01:24:44,279
if Christ didn't arise from the dead, eat, drink, and

1450
01:24:44,319 --> 01:24:49,840
be married, because tomorrow will die, right, So without Christ,

1451
01:24:50,079 --> 01:24:54,720
we've already established that marriage as a martyrdom. So without Christ,

1452
01:24:55,079 --> 01:24:58,119
if I don't try to sell things to people, because

1453
01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:00,399
if I try to, if I try to sell people

1454
01:25:00,439 --> 01:25:02,520
on marriage, is like, look, if Christ didn't rise from

1455
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:05,359
the dead and he's not lord of your life. You

1456
01:25:05,399 --> 01:25:08,960
should try to maximize as much pleasure you can before

1457
01:25:09,000 --> 01:25:12,760
you die, because there's nothing. But if Christ did rise

1458
01:25:12,760 --> 01:25:15,640
from the dead, then you should deny yourself, pick up

1459
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:19,520
your cross, and follow him. But yes, I don't think

1460
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:22,880
that marriage makes logical sense for people who are not

1461
01:25:23,079 --> 01:25:26,640
going to live a life of martyrdom. Okay, I just

1462
01:25:26,680 --> 01:25:28,840
don't think it's I think it's an aesthetical feed. I

1463
01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:32,560
think it's like having kids. The church fathers even say

1464
01:25:33,159 --> 01:25:38,399
that that one of the reasons that marital relations are

1465
01:25:38,439 --> 01:25:41,560
so pleasurable is that it was God's way of basically

1466
01:25:42,079 --> 01:25:46,560
incentivizing men to have more children, because if men did

1467
01:25:46,560 --> 01:25:51,359
not enjoy being with their wives, most men would cap

1468
01:25:51,399 --> 01:25:55,560
off having kids at like one or two. Why because

1469
01:25:55,600 --> 01:25:58,199
it's very hard and they all come to realize this, like,

1470
01:25:58,239 --> 01:26:01,199
it's way harder than you think it is. So the

1471
01:26:01,359 --> 01:26:05,520
reason that we're incentivized to have more children is because

1472
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:10,800
we enjoy the bond of marriage, right, and we allow

1473
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:15,880
and we open up our marriage and specifically the wife's

1474
01:26:15,880 --> 01:26:18,359
womb to the will of God. If somebody is not

1475
01:26:18,399 --> 01:26:20,760
a Christian, I'm not going to tell them have a

1476
01:26:20,800 --> 01:26:25,359
bunch of kids, right, because like why, Like I'm gonna

1477
01:26:25,359 --> 01:26:27,720
tell them you need to repent. Now, if you repent,

1478
01:26:27,800 --> 01:26:30,479
you'll end up having a lot of kids, right, potentially, right,

1479
01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:32,479
But you know what I'm saying. So I think it's

1480
01:26:32,479 --> 01:26:34,119
the same thing with marriage. I mean, I don't think

1481
01:26:34,119 --> 01:26:36,279
that you're going to make the argument that living a

1482
01:26:36,359 --> 01:26:39,319
virtuous life isn't better. Living a virtuous life is better.

1483
01:26:39,680 --> 01:26:42,720
But all of these things that are virtuous have to

1484
01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:45,399
do with self denial, and for the man that's of

1485
01:26:45,439 --> 01:26:49,439
the flesh, as Saint Paul talks about, the virtuous life

1486
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:55,439
is foolishness to him because his main objective is to

1487
01:26:55,520 --> 01:26:59,760
acquire pleasure, not to acquire virtue.

1488
01:27:00,279 --> 01:27:06,680
Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. Last question and then we'll be

1489
01:27:07,079 --> 01:27:09,960
done here. I think you answered all of my crazy

1490
01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:16,199
Twitter futes over here. Have you heard of the bear question?

1491
01:27:17,359 --> 01:27:19,119
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

1492
01:27:19,159 --> 01:27:21,399
Speaker 1: So let me just if you haven't heard of it.

1493
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:27,319
As a woman alone in the woods, would you rather

1494
01:27:27,439 --> 01:27:30,720
be alone in the woods knowing there's a bear there

1495
01:27:30,760 --> 01:27:35,439
with you or a random man? And overwhelmingly the women

1496
01:27:35,720 --> 01:27:39,920
said bear. I feel much safer with a bear than

1497
01:27:39,960 --> 01:27:42,479
a random man because a bear can't you know, our

1498
01:27:42,600 --> 01:27:47,560
word me, torture me, do crazy things, keep me alive

1499
01:27:49,079 --> 01:27:51,760
and definitely or there. You know, I'd rather get mauled

1500
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:54,560
by a bear than whatever a random man has in

1501
01:27:54,600 --> 01:27:57,239
store for me. So why do you think that women

1502
01:27:57,560 --> 01:28:02,840
feel so unsafe in society right now?

1503
01:28:05,159 --> 01:28:07,039
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think it's society now. I mean, I

1504
01:28:07,039 --> 01:28:09,119
think it's the curse of the fall. Then we can

1505
01:28:09,159 --> 01:28:10,920
do a whole talk on just the curse of the fall.

1506
01:28:10,960 --> 01:28:13,720
But the curse of the fall is that a woman's

1507
01:28:13,720 --> 01:28:15,760
desire will be for her husband, and he will lord

1508
01:28:15,800 --> 01:28:19,640
it over her. The curse is twofold for women. Number One,

1509
01:28:19,680 --> 01:28:25,039
women are basically hopelessly attracted and drawn towards men. And

1510
01:28:25,119 --> 01:28:27,319
I think women hate this about themselves. I think that

1511
01:28:27,359 --> 01:28:28,239
that I.

1512
01:28:28,239 --> 01:28:31,159
Speaker 1: Wish I was, you know, not attracted to men, because

1513
01:28:31,159 --> 01:28:31,960
it doesn't make sense.

1514
01:28:33,399 --> 01:28:36,239
Speaker 2: This is a frequent thing, right, that they hate an

1515
01:28:36,279 --> 01:28:40,039
aspect of themselves because it's a vulnerability, and vulnerability in

1516
01:28:40,079 --> 01:28:43,399
our society is seen as a weakness, right, But male

1517
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:46,960
attention and affection is like oxygen for women. It just is.

1518
01:28:47,199 --> 01:28:50,840
It's it's how they're hardwired. They need and want that

1519
01:28:50,920 --> 01:28:53,960
attention and affection. Now, if they don't get attention and

1520
01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:56,520
affection from God. I did this recent video on this.

1521
01:28:58,439 --> 01:29:00,560
If they don't get the attention in affection from God,

1522
01:29:00,840 --> 01:29:04,399
they have an unnatural amount of desire from men that

1523
01:29:04,479 --> 01:29:06,880
men will never be able to satisfy. And so they'll

1524
01:29:06,920 --> 01:29:09,880
continually be looking for that high from different men that

1525
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:12,760
will never satisfy what they're looking for from God. That's

1526
01:29:12,840 --> 01:29:16,119
number one. So they hate that aspect of themselves as

1527
01:29:16,159 --> 01:29:19,600
craving and yearning for something that makes them vulnerable and weak.

1528
01:29:19,640 --> 01:29:22,319
And then number two, because we live in a fallen world,

1529
01:29:22,319 --> 01:29:25,359
it says men will lord it over them. So men

1530
01:29:25,399 --> 01:29:29,199
will utilize the weakness of women or their desire for

1531
01:29:29,239 --> 01:29:35,039
them against them. And all of the dating culture today

1532
01:29:36,239 --> 01:29:44,079
is predicated on men manipulating women into, you know, sexual

1533
01:29:44,119 --> 01:29:47,720
relationships that are beneficial for themselves and not beneficial for

1534
01:29:47,760 --> 01:29:51,600
the women. Most dating today is renting with an option

1535
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:54,800
to buy right. That's what we call it. When you're

1536
01:29:54,800 --> 01:29:58,840
having marital relations before you're married, the man is renting you.

1537
01:29:59,479 --> 01:30:01,359
He does not own you, he does not take any

1538
01:30:01,399 --> 01:30:04,199
responsibility for you, he doesn't even really love you. It's

1539
01:30:04,279 --> 01:30:10,000
just lost. So if you look at society today and

1540
01:30:10,079 --> 01:30:14,159
you see it how men have created a society where

1541
01:30:14,199 --> 01:30:17,159
they are continually taking advantage of women. Women are not

1542
01:30:17,399 --> 01:30:22,359
valued in our society for their expressions of womanhood, which

1543
01:30:22,399 --> 01:30:26,800
are beautiful. It gives you, I think, a pretty I

1544
01:30:26,800 --> 01:30:29,279
think that the test gives you a pretty clear example

1545
01:30:29,359 --> 01:30:34,960
of what people think today in our society. I mean that,

1546
01:30:35,079 --> 01:30:36,840
I think it's a I think it's a kind of

1547
01:30:36,920 --> 01:30:40,039
litmus test about what's going on. I think you gave

1548
01:30:40,079 --> 01:30:42,560
that test fifty years ago, or in the sixties or

1549
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:46,720
even the fifties. I mean, women would say men at

1550
01:30:46,760 --> 01:30:50,960
any day, why because men had virtue. So today this

1551
01:30:51,039 --> 01:30:54,439
is the irony is that men today hear this this

1552
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:57,399
being said by women, and they go, oh, women are

1553
01:30:57,399 --> 01:31:00,760
so dumb. They don't realize that the bear will kill them.

1554
01:31:01,159 --> 01:31:04,239
What they don't realize is that sixty years ago or

1555
01:31:04,279 --> 01:31:07,840
seventy years ago, women would have chosen men, and that

1556
01:31:07,920 --> 01:31:10,039
the sad part today is that it's actually more of

1557
01:31:10,079 --> 01:31:13,079
a reflection on how bad men have become and how

1558
01:31:13,159 --> 01:31:16,439
little virtue is actually valued in our society. Men do

1559
01:31:16,520 --> 01:31:20,079
not value virtue in our society, right, I mean, this

1560
01:31:20,199 --> 01:31:23,880
is why the consumption of internet content, illicit Internet content

1561
01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:27,880
is absolutely through the roof because men have no sense

1562
01:31:27,920 --> 01:31:32,319
of value or valor or virtue. They have no understanding

1563
01:31:32,359 --> 01:31:35,920
of what is beautiful versus what is disgusting. They have

1564
01:31:36,119 --> 01:31:39,119
no concept of the value of a woman or who

1565
01:31:39,159 --> 01:31:42,920
she's supposed to be. Right, women have been subjugated to

1566
01:31:43,079 --> 01:31:48,119
this kind of role of inferiority in our society, and

1567
01:31:48,279 --> 01:31:51,439
I would say even kind of almost a general animosity

1568
01:31:51,479 --> 01:31:55,159
and hostility for men today. Men don't know how to

1569
01:31:55,199 --> 01:31:57,600
win over women today. That's one of the biggest things.

1570
01:31:57,840 --> 01:32:01,760
Speaker 1: Yes, that's why I said collapse of riz And it's

1571
01:32:01,840 --> 01:32:07,720
interesting to watch their reaction of men when they get

1572
01:32:07,840 --> 01:32:10,159
their feelings hurt that the women would rather be with

1573
01:32:10,199 --> 01:32:12,159
a bear, where they're like, well, I hope you get mold.

1574
01:32:12,199 --> 01:32:15,479
Then it's like, well, that's why they're saying that, because

1575
01:32:15,479 --> 01:32:19,079
the vitriol for them.

1576
01:32:19,880 --> 01:32:22,439
Speaker 2: What men are not saying is what men are not

1577
01:32:22,479 --> 01:32:25,840
saying in our society is like brothers, like we have

1578
01:32:26,079 --> 01:32:31,880
failed collectively and showing good leadership and good morals and

1579
01:32:31,920 --> 01:32:35,199
good virtue in our society. You notice that, like a

1580
01:32:35,319 --> 01:32:38,239
big turning point in our society was women were like, hey,

1581
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:42,079
we want to be equal to men, but we want

1582
01:32:42,119 --> 01:32:48,319
to be equal in a way that subjugates us basically

1583
01:32:48,359 --> 01:32:52,720
in the sex industry, right, and men said, okay, sure,

1584
01:32:54,520 --> 01:32:57,800
like the society, men in the society did not raise

1585
01:32:57,880 --> 01:33:01,119
up and say, there is no way that we want

1586
01:33:01,159 --> 01:33:04,600
this to happen to the women of our society. This

1587
01:33:04,680 --> 01:33:07,560
isn't right, this isn't honoring to God, this isn't beautiful,

1588
01:33:07,880 --> 01:33:11,960
this is not what we want whatever else. So men

1589
01:33:12,079 --> 01:33:16,920
created this dynamic where women in our society are devalued.

1590
01:33:18,079 --> 01:33:20,359
They said, we're fine with that. And then in the

1591
01:33:20,359 --> 01:33:23,520
midst of devaluing women, they're like, why don't women value us?

1592
01:33:23,560 --> 01:33:28,000
It's like, you don't value women, Like it's very clear dynamic,

1593
01:33:28,159 --> 01:33:31,600
Like you're the man. You're supposed to lay down your

1594
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:33,760
life for her, as Christ lays down his life for

1595
01:33:33,880 --> 01:33:36,920
the church. You're supposed to do all these things. You

1596
01:33:36,960 --> 01:33:39,720
don't want to do all those things. Men have fundamentally

1597
01:33:39,840 --> 01:33:42,720
ran away from the responsibility of martyrdom. And then in

1598
01:33:42,760 --> 01:33:45,359
the process, women are like, well, I can't trust men

1599
01:33:45,439 --> 01:33:47,720
because they don't love me more than they love themselves.

1600
01:33:47,760 --> 01:33:49,359
And then men are like, well, we're not the problem.

1601
01:33:49,399 --> 01:33:54,399
It's like, clearly, if we are the head of the culture,

1602
01:33:55,560 --> 01:33:58,800
yes we are the problem, and we don't seem to

1603
01:33:58,840 --> 01:34:02,039
be creating a culture where it's even normal for men

1604
01:34:02,079 --> 01:34:04,800
to hold each other accountable. Look at all them them

1605
01:34:04,840 --> 01:34:09,119
manosphere man influencer guys, Like what is what is the

1606
01:34:09,159 --> 01:34:12,079
product that they're selling? Like the product that they're selling

1607
01:34:12,199 --> 01:34:16,720
is like, look at the biggest guys Dan bil'sarian I

1608
01:34:16,720 --> 01:34:21,319
would say, Wes Watson is fairly big. The fit and

1609
01:34:21,359 --> 01:34:26,279
fresh guys, I don't know what their names are, Andrew

1610
01:34:26,359 --> 01:34:29,680
Tate and his brother, and the other guy who wears

1611
01:34:29,720 --> 01:34:32,000
the tiny suits and whatever else, all those guys. Right,

1612
01:34:32,039 --> 01:34:36,319
you look at all those guys and cumulatively they're What

1613
01:34:36,359 --> 01:34:40,560
they're selling is basically the exploitation of women. Become an

1614
01:34:40,680 --> 01:34:44,479
uber male and then sexually exploit as many women as

1615
01:34:44,479 --> 01:34:44,840
you can.

1616
01:34:45,479 --> 01:34:49,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'll teach you how to save yourself from

1617
01:34:49,199 --> 01:34:49,840
gold diggers.

1618
01:34:49,960 --> 01:34:52,880
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it doesn't agree. That's exactly what we're looking for.

1619
01:34:53,159 --> 01:34:55,039
So men can't get women. And they're like, we'll show

1620
01:34:55,039 --> 01:34:58,159
you how to get women. Not to get wives, but

1621
01:34:58,279 --> 01:35:03,199
to manipulate them into relationships where we take advantage of them.

1622
01:35:03,399 --> 01:35:06,079
It's so ironic. Andrew Tate, he built his whole empire.

1623
01:35:06,359 --> 01:35:08,000
He even says that he built his empire because I

1624
01:35:08,079 --> 01:35:11,000
watched some of these quotes taking women who were quote

1625
01:35:11,039 --> 01:35:14,840
unquote in love with him and then basically pimping them

1626
01:35:14,880 --> 01:35:18,760
out to other men through chat rooms in order to

1627
01:35:18,800 --> 01:35:24,520
create revenue. Like, that's a pimp. That's not a man

1628
01:35:24,920 --> 01:35:26,159
like that, that's not a man.

1629
01:35:26,800 --> 01:35:30,279
Speaker 1: Not only that, he has a whole secret society that

1630
01:35:30,319 --> 01:35:34,720
you can, you know, by tapes to hypnotize yourself. And

1631
01:35:34,800 --> 01:35:37,880
he's got a sorcerer working for him in a couple

1632
01:35:37,880 --> 01:35:38,319
of witches.

1633
01:35:38,359 --> 01:35:40,439
Speaker 2: I mean, I could go I mightn't even know about.

1634
01:35:41,560 --> 01:35:44,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he gets the women to tattoo themselves with

1635
01:35:44,920 --> 01:35:48,960
his name on him, So he wom just like you

1636
01:35:49,000 --> 01:35:50,600
would in a cult.

1637
01:35:51,159 --> 01:35:53,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was that cult that what was the name

1638
01:35:53,119 --> 01:35:57,359
of that cult, mexiom Maxium. That's right, So that.

1639
01:35:59,199 --> 01:36:02,319
Speaker 1: Sorcery going on around Andrew take for sure. But I

1640
01:36:02,439 --> 01:36:05,600
just I think it's funny that going back to the

1641
01:36:05,600 --> 01:36:09,199
bear discourse, it's like, why are a lot of men

1642
01:36:09,399 --> 01:36:14,000
acting like men aren't scary? Okay? Why do you lock

1643
01:36:14,079 --> 01:36:17,000
your doors at night? Why do you not walk down

1644
01:36:17,079 --> 01:36:20,840
dark alleys single moms? Bears?

1645
01:36:20,880 --> 01:36:22,680
Speaker 2: Like why lock your car?

1646
01:36:22,840 --> 01:36:27,239
Speaker 1: Why are you afraid of weirdos worming around? And so

1647
01:36:27,439 --> 01:36:30,279
they don't think. They're just thinking, oh, she's a feminist,

1648
01:36:30,359 --> 01:36:33,720
so she picked bear. No, they are literally so much

1649
01:36:33,760 --> 01:36:37,199
weaker than you and everybody. Every woman possesses something that

1650
01:36:37,239 --> 01:36:39,520
a lot of men would like to have and would

1651
01:36:39,520 --> 01:36:42,760
like to take by force if they could. So it's

1652
01:36:42,840 --> 01:36:48,720
just interesting that you're not realizing you're all scared of men. Also,

1653
01:36:50,159 --> 01:36:51,439
you just admit it.

1654
01:36:52,079 --> 01:36:55,760
Speaker 2: That's interesting. That's a keen insight. Yeah, I'll give you that.

1655
01:36:56,079 --> 01:36:58,960
Speaker 1: I mean, are you protecting women from bears or other men?

1656
01:36:59,159 --> 01:37:02,359
Speaker 2: So you no? I mean, it's why guys own guns. Yeah, right,

1657
01:37:02,479 --> 01:37:04,399
that's why guys own I mean, I guarantee a lot

1658
01:37:04,439 --> 01:37:07,119
of the guys in these conversations are guys that own

1659
01:37:07,199 --> 01:37:09,319
guns and believe in the Second Amendment and all this.

1660
01:37:09,600 --> 01:37:12,279
And it's like, right, we're not we're not protecting ourselves

1661
01:37:12,319 --> 01:37:15,640
from from women invaders of our home, you know what

1662
01:37:15,680 --> 01:37:17,239
I mean, Like in the middle of the night, women

1663
01:37:17,279 --> 01:37:19,399
are wearing ski masks, kicking in our front.

1664
01:37:19,199 --> 01:37:22,439
Speaker 1: Door, dancing college girls that you're scared of. Or is

1665
01:37:22,479 --> 01:37:25,439
it you know, whapped out men on drugs and demon

1666
01:37:26,399 --> 01:37:28,239
like people that can overtank you.

1667
01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:33,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. That's solid, solid insight.

1668
01:37:34,359 --> 01:37:38,560
Speaker 1: I love men in practice and in theory, So I'm

1669
01:37:38,560 --> 01:37:40,159
not I'm not saying I want to be alone with

1670
01:37:40,199 --> 01:37:42,960
a bear, but I'm saying y'all can be very intimidating

1671
01:37:43,079 --> 01:37:43,479
for sure.

1672
01:37:44,159 --> 01:37:44,600
Speaker 2: For sure.

1673
01:37:45,920 --> 01:37:51,039
Speaker 1: Did you hear about that guy, Grizzly Man who lived

1674
01:37:51,079 --> 01:37:53,159
with the bears like six months of the year and

1675
01:37:53,199 --> 01:37:55,479
then he would leave and come back. And he did

1676
01:37:55,479 --> 01:38:00,000
this for many, many years, and one day he brought

1677
01:38:00,159 --> 01:38:02,520
his longtime girlfriend out there to live with the bears

1678
01:38:02,520 --> 01:38:05,039
with them. Yeah, and they both got eaten up.

1679
01:38:05,680 --> 01:38:07,039
Speaker 2: Yeah? Why was that.

1680
01:38:08,680 --> 01:38:12,199
Speaker 1: Just because you don't live with bears? Man? I mean,

1681
01:38:12,239 --> 01:38:14,560
he thought that he could be a bear and that

1682
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:17,600
it would be okay. And but the thing that I

1683
01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:20,760
took away from that story when I read the article

1684
01:38:21,119 --> 01:38:25,039
was like seven years girlfriend or five something like that.

1685
01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:30,640
And I'm like, five years girlfriend, like that, I wouldn't

1686
01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:32,319
get eaten by a bear for a guy who didn't

1687
01:38:32,319 --> 01:38:34,119
want to marry me. I mean that sounds like wife

1688
01:38:34,199 --> 01:38:37,000
duties to me, not five years girlfriend.

1689
01:38:38,199 --> 01:38:40,560
Speaker 2: That's funny that they had a documentary on that too, right,

1690
01:38:40,560 --> 01:38:43,359
there was a movie. Yeah, yeah, I think I'm like

1691
01:38:43,439 --> 01:38:45,439
ninety nine percent sure I saw that movie when it

1692
01:38:46,039 --> 01:38:47,800
came out. I can't remember the yeah.

1693
01:38:47,640 --> 01:38:50,880
Speaker 1: But name's Timothy Treadwell or something, Grizzly Man or something,

1694
01:38:50,920 --> 01:38:53,720
but yeah, I was just probably like the most atrocious thing.

1695
01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:55,760
I was like, he didn't even propose and she got

1696
01:38:55,760 --> 01:39:00,000
eaten by a bear for him. That's another big issue.

1697
01:39:00,199 --> 01:39:02,000
I know we're out of time now, but it's like

1698
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:06,800
guy will string a woman along for he'll have an

1699
01:39:06,880 --> 01:39:09,000
entire life in a family with her ten years and

1700
01:39:09,039 --> 01:39:11,880
three kids, and they're still not married, and he gives

1701
01:39:11,880 --> 01:39:13,760
her a shut up ring or something, you know, at

1702
01:39:13,760 --> 01:39:16,880
the ten year mark, but he still won't commit to her.

1703
01:39:16,920 --> 01:39:20,880
And it's like, you got to stop dating and having

1704
01:39:20,960 --> 01:39:23,760
families with someone who doesn't even love you or want

1705
01:39:23,800 --> 01:39:25,479
to have you at their wife.

1706
01:39:26,560 --> 01:39:28,399
Speaker 2: Number one thing I would say to women, if a

1707
01:39:28,439 --> 01:39:30,239
woman asks me, the number one thing I would say

1708
01:39:30,279 --> 01:39:33,720
is join an Orthodox church, the one it's the one

1709
01:39:33,840 --> 01:39:37,039
environment where men hold other men accountable, and that there

1710
01:39:37,159 --> 01:39:39,680
is actually a standard there, and that men have a

1711
01:39:39,720 --> 01:39:44,720
spiritual father and the spiritual father has actual guidance over

1712
01:39:44,760 --> 01:39:49,359
their you know, sound guidance, not controlling, not a cult, right,

1713
01:39:49,520 --> 01:39:52,399
but that you know, like the guys who are you know,

1714
01:39:52,479 --> 01:39:55,680
my spiritual sons. They have a very clear understanding that

1715
01:39:56,079 --> 01:39:57,840
in order to be in good standing with the church,

1716
01:39:57,880 --> 01:40:00,720
I need to live a pure life, and they're committed

1717
01:40:00,760 --> 01:40:04,239
to that, and that our goal is to marry women

1718
01:40:04,359 --> 01:40:07,399
and to have families. And I think women forget that

1719
01:40:08,560 --> 01:40:12,680
they can't hold men accountable. It's just the wrong dynamic.

1720
01:40:12,720 --> 01:40:15,600
That energy doesn't work, and so women are trying to

1721
01:40:16,119 --> 01:40:20,439
like in a sense, they're trying to like, I don't know,

1722
01:40:20,520 --> 01:40:25,439
bridal kind of like unbridled men, and it doesn't work right.

1723
01:40:25,840 --> 01:40:28,359
So if a woman was saying, where's the number one

1724
01:40:28,399 --> 01:40:30,680
place that you would look for a husband, I'd be like,

1725
01:40:30,720 --> 01:40:33,720
go to an Orthodox church, because all of your concerns

1726
01:40:33,760 --> 01:40:36,680
about men are that you can't trust him, And it's

1727
01:40:36,720 --> 01:40:39,560
the number one place where men are actually dealing with

1728
01:40:39,640 --> 01:40:43,840
those things that are untrustworthy about themselves and they're being

1729
01:40:43,840 --> 01:40:47,760
held accountable by another man. And so the dynamics there

1730
01:40:47,800 --> 01:40:52,640
within the society of the church create healthy marriages because

1731
01:40:52,720 --> 01:40:56,159
the wife knows that the husband has accountability with the

1732
01:40:56,199 --> 01:40:59,720
spiritual father who is guiding and directing them, and a

1733
01:40:59,720 --> 01:41:02,279
whole holding the man to a higher standard that he

1734
01:41:02,319 --> 01:41:06,880
would not necessarily normally hold himself to. So that is

1735
01:41:06,920 --> 01:41:09,680
the one way in which I think in all of

1736
01:41:09,720 --> 01:41:12,920
these things that the actual practicality of living in the

1737
01:41:13,000 --> 01:41:17,159
church is what plays itself out to create healthy dynamics

1738
01:41:17,159 --> 01:41:20,319
and healthy marriages because all of what you need is

1739
01:41:20,319 --> 01:41:23,199
there to create a healthy marriage, which it takes more

1740
01:41:23,239 --> 01:41:26,319
than just the two of you, right, You need somebody

1741
01:41:26,319 --> 01:41:28,920
who's a confessor, You need somebody you go to confession with.

1742
01:41:29,239 --> 01:41:32,079
You need somebody who's basically a coach for your marriage

1743
01:41:32,399 --> 01:41:34,159
and helps the two of you out, which is the

1744
01:41:34,239 --> 01:41:36,920
role of the spiritual father. Like, you actually need those

1745
01:41:36,960 --> 01:41:39,920
things to create a healthy marriage and a healthy dynamic.

1746
01:41:40,399 --> 01:41:43,680
Speaker 1: And that just makes so much sense practically to have

1747
01:41:44,199 --> 01:41:46,840
a confessor and a spiritual father because he's going to

1748
01:41:46,920 --> 01:41:50,199
catch things and nip them in the bud before they

1749
01:41:50,279 --> 01:41:52,239
become a catastrophe. Like, you know, you're not going to

1750
01:41:52,239 --> 01:41:56,399
have an Orthodox man with a whole nother family somewhere else, right,

1751
01:41:56,720 --> 01:41:58,960
You're not going to have years and years of betrayal.

1752
01:41:59,079 --> 01:42:01,760
You're not going to have like giant things that they're

1753
01:42:01,800 --> 01:42:04,800
hiding from you because they wouldn't be able to commune

1754
01:42:04,800 --> 01:42:06,239
and confess that they did all.

1755
01:42:06,159 --> 01:42:08,159
Speaker 2: Right, And you're not going to be dating for a

1756
01:42:08,239 --> 01:42:10,960
year or two, right, I mean all the guys when

1757
01:42:10,960 --> 01:42:12,319
they talk to me and they're like, well, father, what

1758
01:42:12,359 --> 01:42:14,680
do you think I go? You date for like six

1759
01:42:14,720 --> 01:42:18,199
months and if this is serious, then you start making

1760
01:42:18,239 --> 01:42:22,640
the necessary steps towards marriage. We don't date that ad infinitum,

1761
01:42:22,920 --> 01:42:25,760
you know, Like that's not what we do. We all

1762
01:42:25,800 --> 01:42:29,199
of dating is courtship towards marriage. And not only that,

1763
01:42:29,319 --> 01:42:31,920
you know, we have standards Like for my guys, you know,

1764
01:42:31,960 --> 01:42:35,399
I'm very clear, like you know, don't be kissing before marriage.

1765
01:42:35,479 --> 01:42:37,880
Never seen anything good come of it, you know, So

1766
01:42:37,960 --> 01:42:40,439
I actually, you know, it's it's for a guy to

1767
01:42:40,479 --> 01:42:44,319
hear that from an older man that they respect, who says, listen,

1768
01:42:44,720 --> 01:42:48,479
like I understand everything you're going through, but just don't

1769
01:42:48,520 --> 01:42:50,399
do these things because they're going to lead you in

1770
01:42:50,399 --> 01:42:53,159
the wrong way. It's so much easier for a man

1771
01:42:53,199 --> 01:42:56,520
who's in his twenties to listen to me. And because

1772
01:42:56,800 --> 01:42:59,000
we have a relationship, they know I love them, they

1773
01:42:59,039 --> 01:43:00,399
know I want the best for them, and I care

1774
01:43:00,439 --> 01:43:03,279
about them. I'm a fatherly figure to them. They see

1775
01:43:03,319 --> 01:43:05,880
my own life, they see my own marriage, they see

1776
01:43:05,880 --> 01:43:09,000
my children. All of those dynamics is like they can

1777
01:43:09,000 --> 01:43:10,960
get on board with it because they know where they

1778
01:43:11,000 --> 01:43:13,439
want to go and they understand that I want to

1779
01:43:13,439 --> 01:43:17,000
help lead them there, and so they're able to follow

1780
01:43:17,039 --> 01:43:20,079
that direction and instruction and in the process they end

1781
01:43:20,159 --> 01:43:22,880
up you know, you create these guys that are they're

1782
01:43:22,920 --> 01:43:26,359
a phenomenal catch for women. You know, I have a

1783
01:43:26,399 --> 01:43:28,640
few guys in my church. I'm like, these guys are

1784
01:43:28,840 --> 01:43:31,640
great catches for women, you know what I mean. I'm like,

1785
01:43:31,920 --> 01:43:35,119
they're handsome, they're in shape, they take care of themselves,

1786
01:43:35,159 --> 01:43:39,119
they take care of their spiritual life. They're responsible, they

1787
01:43:39,159 --> 01:43:42,520
come to the services and pray, they go to confession regularly,

1788
01:43:42,920 --> 01:43:45,840
you know, all of these different dynamics. I'm like, this

1789
01:43:45,920 --> 01:43:47,359
is a this is the type of guy that you

1790
01:43:47,399 --> 01:43:50,720
can have a whole family with and have a really wonderful,

1791
01:43:50,760 --> 01:43:54,079
beautiful life with. You're not going to find that in

1792
01:43:54,159 --> 01:43:57,680
guys outside of the church. It's just not going to happen.

1793
01:43:57,720 --> 01:44:01,520
All this nonsense about high value, like in all the

1794
01:44:01,560 --> 01:44:05,159
ways in which our society defind side values. Whether I

1795
01:44:05,239 --> 01:44:07,520
don't care who it is, from Pearl to whoever else,

1796
01:44:07,560 --> 01:44:11,039
it's all nonsense. It's it's like ninety percent of his

1797
01:44:11,159 --> 01:44:14,079
financial It's like that is not it. That is not

1798
01:44:14,239 --> 01:44:18,479
what makes someone high value exactly. Yeah, character and love

1799
01:44:18,640 --> 01:44:21,399
and all the other things attentiveness.

1800
01:44:20,960 --> 01:44:23,560
Speaker 1: And they'll make a meme of a low value woman

1801
01:44:24,199 --> 01:44:27,439
and put all of the descriptors on and it's so

1802
01:44:27,840 --> 01:44:30,600
there's so many things that anybody could fall into that category.

1803
01:44:31,239 --> 01:44:34,239
You know, she had a job or a tattoo, or

1804
01:44:34,279 --> 01:44:37,600
an ex boyfriend or like whatever. It's just kind of well,

1805
01:44:38,000 --> 01:44:38,319
this is.

1806
01:44:38,279 --> 01:44:40,680
Speaker 2: The funniest thing to me too, because somebody said today, like,

1807
01:44:40,920 --> 01:44:43,000
men don't like women with tattoos. Like, dude, my wife

1808
01:44:43,039 --> 01:44:46,359
has tattoos. Yeah, I don't care, Like what does that mean?

1809
01:44:46,439 --> 01:44:49,319
Like my wife is super, My wife's amazing. If any

1810
01:44:49,359 --> 01:44:51,520
dude spend any time around my wife, they would be like,

1811
01:44:51,960 --> 01:44:54,159
this guy is truly blessed to be married to her.

1812
01:44:54,479 --> 01:44:57,079
You know, when you get all these weird generalizations like

1813
01:44:57,319 --> 01:44:59,479
that women are only they have to be this weird

1814
01:45:00,159 --> 01:45:03,399
only certain way. I don't know, it's just it's so strange,

1815
01:45:03,560 --> 01:45:05,920
like it's you know, like it's it's weird.

1816
01:45:06,079 --> 01:45:08,840
Speaker 1: It's weird, sea getting weird. And a lot of the

1817
01:45:08,880 --> 01:45:11,000
accounts like that's why I had you on, like the

1818
01:45:11,359 --> 01:45:15,039
biblical masculinity accounts, and some even have Orthodox crossed in

1819
01:45:15,079 --> 01:45:17,680
their bio. They make it look so crazy that it's

1820
01:45:17,760 --> 01:45:20,039
not attractive to women. So you said you have a

1821
01:45:20,039 --> 01:45:22,359
lot of men in your parish.

1822
01:45:22,479 --> 01:45:23,079
Speaker 2: I do too.

1823
01:45:23,640 --> 01:45:26,880
Speaker 1: I would love to see them find girlfriends and make babies,

1824
01:45:26,920 --> 01:45:32,600
you know, after they get married. But the Ortho sphere

1825
01:45:32,880 --> 01:45:36,960
online is sliding into a very weird place. And so

1826
01:45:37,560 --> 01:45:41,239
back to the beginning, it's I think it's being infiltrated

1827
01:45:41,239 --> 01:45:46,039
by weirdos or you know, subversive accounts, maybe not even

1828
01:45:46,159 --> 01:45:48,479
Christian people, like a lot of these accounts are just

1829
01:45:48,560 --> 01:45:52,119
spots or paid for or Indian women like in India.

1830
01:45:52,760 --> 01:45:54,199
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of people though that are

1831
01:45:54,279 --> 01:45:58,920
that are ideologically Orthodox, and it's not really about Christ.

1832
01:45:59,000 --> 01:46:01,840
It's not about the risen Lord, it's not about the incarnation.

1833
01:46:02,079 --> 01:46:05,039
It's not about living a new life in Christ. Right,

1834
01:46:05,119 --> 01:46:07,039
And you see that where it's like, oh, it's about

1835
01:46:07,319 --> 01:46:11,760
it's about monarchy, or it's about nationalism, you know what

1836
01:46:11,760 --> 01:46:15,960
I mean. And it's all these kind of ideological things

1837
01:46:15,960 --> 01:46:18,560
that have nothing to do with Christ. You could literally

1838
01:46:18,600 --> 01:46:21,680
take Christ out of their orthodoxy and they would remain

1839
01:46:21,720 --> 01:46:25,159
the same because they're not actually worshiping the God Man

1840
01:46:25,239 --> 01:46:28,600
Jesus Christ. They don't really have love for Christ. They

1841
01:46:28,640 --> 01:46:32,079
have love for this mutilated religion that they've created that

1842
01:46:32,119 --> 01:46:35,760
they think is Orthodoxy. That's not Orthodoxy at all. Orthodoxy

1843
01:46:35,840 --> 01:46:38,520
is the worship and the love of the Holy Trinity.

1844
01:46:38,880 --> 01:46:41,079
And that's why these people don't talk about the Trinity.

1845
01:46:41,279 --> 01:46:43,800
They don't talk about Christ, they don't talk about the Incarnation.

1846
01:46:44,239 --> 01:46:51,239
They constantly talk about race, interracial marriages, nationalism, inferiority of women,

1847
01:46:51,479 --> 01:46:54,800
whatever else. It's just it has nothing to do with

1848
01:46:54,840 --> 01:46:57,680
what we're living in the Orthodox Church in a life

1849
01:46:57,680 --> 01:47:01,560
of repentance. It's completely divorced from that. They're just looking

1850
01:47:01,600 --> 01:47:05,199
for something that is is some kind of based religion,

1851
01:47:05,399 --> 01:47:08,479
which is not what Orthodoxy it is at all.

1852
01:47:09,159 --> 01:47:14,159
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, perfect, you said everything I wanted you

1853
01:47:14,199 --> 01:47:19,159
to say, and I really respect your opinion and I'm

1854
01:47:19,239 --> 01:47:23,359
grateful that you came on and anything else you want

1855
01:47:23,399 --> 01:47:24,800
to add that.

1856
01:47:27,079 --> 01:47:29,880
Speaker 2: No, I mean, you can I post some stuff on

1857
01:47:29,920 --> 01:47:35,039
Instagram on Father Moses McPherson on Instagram, and you can

1858
01:47:35,079 --> 01:47:38,680
google me on YouTube. I think it's Father Moses McPherson

1859
01:47:38,760 --> 01:47:41,359
on YouTube and it has talks and other things that

1860
01:47:41,439 --> 01:47:43,600
I do. So yeah, that's it.

1861
01:47:44,079 --> 01:47:47,479
Speaker 1: And if you are in the Austin, Texas area, look

1862
01:47:47,479 --> 01:47:51,359
a Holy Mother of God and go visit Father Moses.

1863
01:47:51,920 --> 01:47:54,079
So thanks for coming and we'll see you soon.

1864
01:47:54,720 --> 01:47:55,199
Speaker 2: A bless