Speaker 1: And now tonight, in the big.
Speaker 2: Second and final part of the Big Blonde, we have
a warrant to search your premises.
Speaker 3: Oh uh to what is this? In reference of.
Speaker 4: Sir, inspector, we're investigating the murder of Mamie Sunstram.
Speaker 3: Murder murder of Maybe Sunstrom.
Speaker 4: That's what I said, Bogger.
Speaker 3: Me an extremely unwelcome development. Hired by a girl called
Dorothy Sunstrom to track down her missing sister Maybe, I
was sadly unsuccessful at finding any trace of her. And
now my apartment invaded by a thick wristed inspector and
a battalion of lackies, all searching for evidence that I
murdered a girl I'd never even met, and I can't
help thinking, what.
Speaker 4: A sock at It's fencer. Put some socks on, for
Christ's sakes, and keep that nightgown closed at the front.
Speaker 3: I was just about to change for my nighttime attire, Inspector,
when you darken.
Speaker 4: My door, Well, don't let us stop you Jenkins. Take
this guy to the closet and get him some clothes.
Speaker 3: I don't have a closet, I'm afraid, hmm, you.
Speaker 4: Could have fooled me. Well, get some clothes from wherever
you hide him, and make sure he doesn't hide anything
else while he's at it.
Speaker 3: Jenkins, I assure you, Inspector, I have absolutely nothing.
Speaker 4: Too high, nothing to hide. Eh, you got a license
for this ride.
Speaker 3: A young, lightly freckled officer with green eyes held up
a gun he'd pulled from under my desk. It looked
an awful lot like the gun I'd been shown the
previous day by Guido, a friend of the missing girl.
Either way, it wasn't mine. That isn't mine.
Speaker 4: Bag It and Bokham, Frawley, bag It and Buckham, and
for Christ's sakes, Jenkins get him to close his night dress. Oh.
Speaker 3: Before I knew it, I was dressed and handcuffed and
brought to the station. Stewing alone in a hot, windowless room.
It felt like I was somehow outside of everything, watching
myself in a nightmare. But I wasn't. I was living
a nightmare for real.
Speaker 4: Ow But I asked, goddamn times, stop pinching yourself.
Speaker 3: The inspector came in and sat across from me on
the only other chair in the room. He tossed an
envelope on the table containing everything I'd had in my pockets.
When I'd arrived at the station, another man followed him
in and gently closed the door. This second man was tall,
with fair hair. He had high cheekbones and kind eyes.
His fingers were slim and dainty. In his voice was
an oasis of calm and the storm raging around me.
Speaker 5: Hello, I'm Detective Ernie Swan.
Speaker 3: Pleasure to meet you.
Speaker 4: If I can interrupt you two lovebirds a minute. We
got a murder to solve.
Speaker 3: Detective Swan leaned against the wall behind me, out of sight,
out of mind.
Speaker 4: So Spence, how did you know Mamie Sunstrim?
Speaker 3: I could tell you, Inspector and you, Detective Swan behind me,
that I've never met Mamie Sunstrom.
Speaker 4: Never tell me if you didn't know the girl, why'd
you spend yesterday trying to find her? We know you
was touting a photo of her around all afternoon.
Speaker 3: Might I direct your attention to my business card, the
one in that.
Speaker 4: Envelope, Jinkie Spence thespian, What the hell is that?
Speaker 3: No, No, the other one. I'm an actor and a
private detective. Uh huh, Well that's why I was asking
after miss Sunstrom. I was hired to find her.
Speaker 4: And who was it? Hyji?
Speaker 3: The missing? Uh? The the dead girl's sister, Dorothy Sunstrom.
Speaker 4: Uh huh? And what you say if I told you
she ain't heard you?
Speaker 3: Dorothy hasn't. Oh she might be thinking me as John.
I told her that's my real name. Ask her if
she remembers hiring John John Spence.
Speaker 4: She says she ain't hired any private dick. No Jinky Spence,
no John Spence, no Jebbendiah Spence.
Speaker 3: Well she's who's Jebbediah Spence. Inspector Brolin gave me a long,
hard look. I wasn't all that certain that things were
going well this. Dorothy Broad pay you absolutely one hundred
and fifty dollars to covert expenses and a deposit.
Speaker 4: Well, then you got a copy of the receipt.
Speaker 3: I didn't actually issue one for tax four taxis. I
took four taxis yesterday. Come again, Uh, I'm sorry, I
think I mist understood the question.
Speaker 4: Sure you did Dorothy's receipt? Where is it?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yes, as it happens, Inspector, I was planning on
issuing that receipt today.
Speaker 4: So you ain't got a receipt.
Speaker 3: No, I haven't got a receipt. Ahhh, look, Inspector, why
don't you fetch Dorothy herself. I'm sure she could settle
this little misunderstanding. Inspector Brolan smiled. I smiled back. Things
seemed to be picking up.
Speaker 4: But then, what'd you say if I told you that
maybe Sunstram ain't missing?
Speaker 3: I'd say I knew that, Inspector, you told me she
was dead. And I assume you know the location of
her corpse.
Speaker 4: It's in the morgue two floors below. Yeah. But what
I mean, wise guy, is she ain't never been missing.
She worked a shift in the restaurant yesterday as usual.
Speaker 3: I see, I was unaware that she was employed by
a restaurant.
Speaker 4: And what's more, Dorothy Sunstram says she never tried to
report Mamie is missing.
Speaker 3: That is patently untrue.
Speaker 4: We have no record of any missing person report filed
by Dorothy.
Speaker 3: But she hired me to find her sister.
Speaker 4: Although you ain't got no record.
Speaker 3: In that, I have no written record.
Speaker 4: Now, Dorothy said she'd been speaking to Maimie last week.
Said Maimie told us she'd started seeing a new guy.
Some British active fella said he had a temper.
Speaker 3: I see, did you get a name? Inspector Brolan didn't
say anything. He looked over my shoulder and Detective Swan
and shrugged. Then he turned it to a stare at
his reflection in a large mirror on the wall, which
struck me as being rather conceited. The lights in the
room flickered three times. Then he finally toret his gaze
from his reflection, ready to toss his next bombshell my way.
Speaker 4: You know that gun we found in your apartment in
my office? Yes, whatever, Well, we ran some tests on it,
I see right away. We got a clean set of
prints from it, your prince, hmmm, and we just got
word back from ballistics. Uh huh, it's the murder weapon.
Speaker 3: How accurate are those taps in ballistics?
Speaker 4: Accurate enough to send you down for a long time?
Speaker 3: I see, bugger me. Things weren't looking good. Dorothy Sunstrom
seemed to have forgotten I existed, even though it was
only a day since she'd hired me to find her
missing sister who was dead, not missing, And now my
fingerprints had somehow appeared in the murder weapon. I felt
my chest tightening like a vice. Then Detective Swan spoke
up from behind me.
Speaker 5: Tell me, mister Spence, do you own a handgun?
Speaker 3: Certainly not, Detective I'm British.
Speaker 5: And have you handled anyone else's handgun lately?
Speaker 3: Can you just move around so I can see you
when I'm talking to you?
Speaker 6: Excellent?
Speaker 3: Yes. As a matter of fact, a chap I met
in a bar yesterday gave me his weapon to hold
for a bit. Uh huh. Detective Swan nodded like he'd
been expecting that answer. Brolin looked like he hadn't been
expecting it. Matter of fact, he looked downright angry.
Speaker 4: You got any witnesses can back you up on that?
Speaker 3: Well, yes, Guido, the chap whose weapon it was?
Speaker 4: Anyone else?
Speaker 3: I believe the bar man had just popped down to
the cellar to take care of some bar business.
Speaker 4: So no bar business. Ah.
Speaker 3: Roland walked to the door when he had a short
whispered common friends with someone outside. Detective Swan meanwhile frowned
and stroked his smooth chin with long, slender fingers.
Speaker 4: Uh so, jinky, We'll send someone to talk to this
Guido fellas see what he says. Capital that's a nice jacket,
by the way.
Speaker 3: Thanking you yes, I'm breaking it in at the moment.
I only purchased it yesterday.
Speaker 4: Funny thing I just heard. We turned up a witness
who says they saw someone leaving Maimie's apartment last night,
right about the time she was shot.
Speaker 3: Marvelous stuff.
Speaker 4: This witness didn't get a good look at the person's
face as it was dark and rainy.
Speaker 3: Ah a shame.
Speaker 4: But they gotta look at the jacket the person was wearing.
You don't say, I do say, black leather jacket covered
in zippers. They say, ah like this one.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, Inspector, this jacket is very outa mode. There
have to be hundreds of people who out I would
just like it.
Speaker 4: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3: It means any one of those hundreds of people could
have killed her.
Speaker 4: Well, my money's on the guy who spent all day
yesterday trying to track her down.
Speaker 5: Tell me, mister Spence, just why was it you were
searching for miss Sunstrom in such unusual locations?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 6: Unusual?
Speaker 3: How, Detective Swan.
Speaker 5: Well, so far as we can figure, Maymi Sunstrom had
no connection to any place you visited. She'd been to
Bulldog's Bar right apart from Bulldog's Bar. She doesn't seem
to have any connection with any of the places you visited.
Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you, detective. I was
following the list I was given.
Speaker 4: Who gave you that list? Dorothy Sunstrom Ah, Yes, the
person who hired you to find the sister who wasn't missing,
who says she ain't never met you.
Speaker 3: Yes. Huh. After another doorway conference, Brolin returned with glinting eyes.
Speaker 4: We got word from Guido.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: He says, you got real squarely about Mamie Sunstrim right
before leaving that bar yesterday.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4: It means you was talking about she was the only
girl you'd ever love, talking about how she broke your heart.
It means he was waving a rod around, talking about
teaching her a lesson.
Speaker 3: I waved his rod around momentarily at his request. Nothing more.
Speaker 4: Well, that ain't what the guy says. Says you seem
like you wanted to teach your girlfriend a lesson.
Speaker 3: Whats rocks? She's not my girlfriend?
Speaker 5: Tell me, mister Spence, aren't you a friend of Dorothy.
Speaker 3: Dorothy certainly not. The woman's a client and nothing more.
And that half a mind to terminate her agreement and
keep the deposit after the trouble she's putting me through here.
Speaker 4: No, of course he ain't friends with a Swann. She
never met the guy. Look, Spence, we got a pretty
ironclad case here. We got ten different guys with your
business card, all saying you was asking them yesterday about Maimie.
We got the murder weapon with your prints on it.
Your apartment, Oh, I'm sorry, your office. We got a
witness says they've seen someone dressed just like you leaving
the crime scene at nine pm, right about the time
of the murder.
Speaker 3: We got me, inspector. Did you say nine pm?
Speaker 4: You may not, but yeah I did. I said nine pm.
Speaker 3: My mind, which had been reeling after all the bombshells,
snapped back to life. I explained that I did have
an alibi for nine pm. I was hosting Dorothy Sunstrom
at that time. If she could only make an extra
effort to recall how she'd spent the evening, she could
put me in the clear. In the clear.
Speaker 4: Sorry, who is this gilden steinfella? I heard a Hamlet.
I ain't never heard of him.
Speaker 3: I'll explain later. Right now, we need Dorothy Sunstrom.
Speaker 4: We already got her, Spence. She's on record saying she
spent the evening with Guido Rizzo, your friend from the bar.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm afraid she's mistaken.
Speaker 4: It's your word against hers, Spence, the girl whose sister
was slaughtered, against the guy who had the murder weapon.
Speaker 5: Hold a minute, mister Spence, your statement mentioned Dorothy examining
your new business cards when she called over last night.
Speaker 4: Is that correct? Allegedly called over?
Speaker 1: She did.
Speaker 3: She did call, and she did examine the cards.
Speaker 5: Whose side do you want, Swan, the side of the truth, inspector.
Speaker 3: Detective Swan nodded me. I nodded back. He nodded again
and tapped his finger on the table, indicating the Thespian
business card.
Speaker 5: So, miss Sunstrom handled one of your new business cards.
Speaker 3: I nodded. Detective Swan nodded back, his eyes widening with
hidden meaning. I wondered if we had more in common
than either of us knew.
Speaker 4: What do you get at, Swan?
Speaker 3: Detective Swan nodded a third time and tapped the table
by the business card again. Of course, my theesping skills
could get me out of this jam. If there's a
reasonable doubt in your minds as to the guilt of
the accut You said.
Speaker 5: These business cards are a new design and were delivered
right before she arrived.
Speaker 3: Yes, where was I?
Speaker 5: It's twelve angry men. There's the proof for your alibi.
Speaker 3: Pardon me, I believe I was saying that if there's
a reasonable We eventually deduced between us that if Dorothy's
fingerprints could be found on one of my new business cards,
it would prove she'd visited my office the night before,
which would prove she'd been lying about having not met me,
and by implication, everything else. The first thing to do
was to track down the courier who delivered the cards,
chat with auburn hair, green eyes, a studying in his
left ear. Once he confirmed the time of delivery, and
the printers confirmed the cards with a brand new design.
The final piece of the puzzle was Dorothy's fingerprints. The
entire run of twenty five hundred cards was brought to
the laboratory and eventually we hit pay dirt. Dorothy Sanstorm's
fingerprints were all over one of them. I was free to.
Speaker 5: Go, and we've arrested Dorothy Sunstrom and Guido Rizzo.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Detective, I shan't forget your contribution
to my cause. As for you, Inspector, I hope you
learn from your multi to pull faux pas today.
Speaker 4: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 5: That's a mistake, Inspector.
Speaker 4: I can't help it if I don't speak gobbledygook.
Speaker 3: Detective Swan smiled. I smiled back. On my way home,
I called into my friend Todd's bar for a nightcap.
I was lost in a world of my own thoughts
until I suddenly became aware of a man saying something
to me. I looked up at him. He was big,
and he was blonde.
Speaker 5: I said, is this seat taken?
Speaker 3: Detective Swan?
Speaker 5: Call me Ernie.
Speaker 3: I will thank you, Ernie. Can I buy you a
celebratory drink? A small beer? Perhaps?
Speaker 5: No? No, I have a drink already, Thanks Ah.
Speaker 3: A fellow cocktailer, I see.
Speaker 5: I thought you might be interested to know that Dorothy
admitted everything.
Speaker 3: I see, and what exactly was everything.
Speaker 5: She hired you so she could make you the fall
guy for his sister's murder. She gave you a phony
list of places so there'd be witnesses to say you
were looking for Maimie. Then Guido was there to get
your prints on the gun and see what you were wearing.
Was he who went over to Mamie's dressed as you.
Speaker 3: Ah, a veritable mister chameleon? Uh?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 5: Anyway, Guido shot Mamy while Dorothy kept you busy in
your office. He was a boyfriend of Dorothy's.
Speaker 3: We think I can see that. I suppose, even if
he is a bit of a chobster.
Speaker 5: He met Dorothy outside your place and gave her the gun.
She planted that in your office when she came back
to look for her purse.
Speaker 3: So I was framed.
Speaker 5: Eh, Yeah, And they had a narrative all worked out
to make you seem like a crazed lover of Mamie's.
Speaker 3: Well they tried that on with the wrong man, they
sure did. But why Mamie? What did she done?
Speaker 4: Lucra?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I suppose she was a looker. She had
nice big legs and the like.
Speaker 5: Oh, Lucra money sisters were doing inheritance. Dorothy wanted a
bigger slice the pie, both slices.
Speaker 3: In fact, it's always money or passion. Sometimes it's an
accident too, I suppose, or manslaughter. Are you sure you
won't let me stand you a drink? No is that
no you're not sure? Or no, you can't have a
drink because you have to get home to your wife.
Speaker 5: No, I can't of a drink because I have to get.
Speaker 3: Home to your wife, to my wife. Well, not to worry.
Speaker 5: You can get me next time.
Speaker 3: If there is a next time.
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm sure there will be. I might just be
partial to am dram productions of Shakespeare.
Speaker 3: I see I have two unclaimed complimentary passes for opening night.
As it happens, I could.
Speaker 5: Be persuaded to take a complimentary pass.
Speaker 3: Well, I can give you a business card, so you'll
my details to hand.
Speaker 5: We have a few thousand of those already down at
the station.
Speaker 3: I'll be wanting those back, Ernie, apart from the one
with the fingerprints. You can keep that one for the
court case.
Speaker 5: Goodbye, mister Spence.
Speaker 3: Call me Jinky, Jinky. Goodbye Jinky or John. Actually I
preferred John. No, he's gone, you can't hear me.
Speaker 6: Goodbye, Ernie.
Speaker 3: Jenky.
Speaker 1: Spence was portrayed by Neil Fleming.
Speaker 2: Also featured in The Big Blonde were Hannah O'Reilly, Brian Robinson, Tarmas, Rowley,
Ben Clifford and Kenneth Conway. The story was written, produced,
I'm directed by Darren McNab. The theme music was by
Robin Allender Jinky Spence Private.
Speaker 3: Eye, No State license required.
Speaker 1: Will return in the Big Polk. Join us, won't you,