Speaker 1: I wanted to hit on some of these again, see
Speaker 1: can because there were more of an that really exists?
Speaker 2: Are these sports that have been combined?
Speaker 1: These really exist? Okay, so chess boxing competitors alternate between
Speaker 1: rounds of chess and boxing check made or knockout wins.
Speaker 2: That's fantastic. That wouldn't make chess a little more interesting
Speaker 2: to watch.
Speaker 1: Underwater ice hockey played upside down under a frozen lake
Speaker 1: using a floating puck. Players hold their breath while maneuvering
Speaker 1: under the ice with no oxygen tinks allowed. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: who the fuck came up with that?
Speaker 2: Somebody said, I got a great idea, we should do
Speaker 2: this under the ice.
Speaker 1: Extreme ironing Extreme it's where you take ironing boards to
Speaker 1: places like skydiving, rock climbing, even underwater, to iron clothes
Speaker 1: in extreme conditions.
Speaker 2: I think underwater ironing is ridiculous. You're never gonna get
Speaker 2: that thing. Get the wrinkles out.
Speaker 1: Volleyball soccer kung fu. That's called sipppoc tar tuck raw
Speaker 1: Southeast Asian sport where players use their feet, head, knees
Speaker 1: and chest to hit a ball over a net like volleyball,
Speaker 1: but without using their hands. So kung fu, not like hitting,
Speaker 1: but kung fu like the Arab aerodynamics of it.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 1: Horseball, basketball, rugby, and horseback riding. Okay, think of basketball
Speaker 1: and rugby played on horseback teams pass a ball with
Speaker 1: handles and try to score, and a hoop while galloping
Speaker 1: at full speed.
Speaker 2: Okay, that could be interesting to watch.
Speaker 1: I mean I've seen a polo match and been like,
Speaker 1: this sucks. This is not fun to.
Speaker 2: Watch exactly, So we ramp it up a little bit.
Speaker 2: Throw in some rugby. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean the magnitude of a horse is always impressive, right,
Speaker 1: and they're when they run by you. I mean, it's crazy, right.
Speaker 1: So when it was up close, it's cool. But when
Speaker 1: it's on the far side, you're like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm watching. It's like it's not like Nascar where
Speaker 1: they'll be back in a second, right, right. So I
Speaker 1: never got into that. I never I never liked that.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: I found this. Remember when we talked about penis implants
Speaker 1: and why someone like guinea one. Sure this is from
Speaker 1: someone who got one and before and after measurements, Okay,
Speaker 1: because I would think if you're going to do it,
Speaker 1: there better be a visual difference. Absolutely all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's thet you would think. That's the whole reason
Speaker 2: to get a peni landplant. You don't like how small
Speaker 2: your wiener is, so you damp it up a little bit.
Speaker 1: So this person, before they got their surgery flaccid, they
Speaker 1: were three inches length, four inches in girth.
Speaker 2: Damn, four inches flaccid and three inches long.
Speaker 1: I'm just being awesome, honest, I have no idea what
Speaker 1: my girth is.
Speaker 2: That's a fucking like a tuna can. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well no, uh, maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: But essentially, no, essentially because if you think about it,
Speaker 2: think about your two inch exhaust. Man, that's a big
Speaker 2: ass fucking hole right there. So four inches around. My
Speaker 2: hands can't even grasp that four inches around, and only.
Speaker 1: A coffee mug opening is between three and a half
Speaker 1: and four inches, jam.
Speaker 2: Right, exactly, that's how round a motherfucker is.
Speaker 1: A hockey puck is three inches.
Speaker 2: Okay, we've all know the size of a hockey puck.
Speaker 1: A CD DVD is four point seven okay, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so listen, but you weren't giving in links.
Speaker 1: You got in girth. That's scary as fuck, right, Well,
Speaker 1: hold on, because a rackt he was six inch in
Speaker 1: length and six inches in girth.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's good, even weird.
Speaker 1: So he got the Panuma XXL surgery and his post
Speaker 1: surgery measurements flaccid, six inches in length, six inches in girth, okay,
Speaker 1: and erect he was six point two inches in length.
Speaker 1: Uh midshaft whatever that means, he's seven and a half
Speaker 1: inches to eight and oh around the mid shaft, he
Speaker 1: was seven and a half inches to eight inches in girth.
Speaker 2: Damn that's a big o'plimpic.
Speaker 1: Coc No shit, that is a goddamn club for real,
Speaker 1: like a baby holding an apple.
Speaker 2: Fuck that fuck that?
Speaker 1: Oh that can't be. I mean that is what is
Speaker 1: he trying to do? Be a porn star?
Speaker 2: Probably feel better about bottle.
Speaker 1: So this is a standard tennis ball is eight inches
Speaker 1: in girth, a medium sized orange, a can of soda,
Speaker 1: a standard roll of toilet paper, a man's wrist, a right,
Speaker 1: a small coffee mug handle. So like that bottle right there.
Speaker 2: Which the vinegar Okay, yeah, yeah, I give her take.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, that's a big difference.
Speaker 1: So he went from a water bottle right to a
Speaker 1: vinegar bottle.
Speaker 2: Like the big Yeah, that's massive. Can you hold these.
Speaker 1: Up to your mouth and see you like.
Speaker 2: The Well, I couldn't. But no, I'm not a fucking
Speaker 2: fun man. No, I do not know. Do not fuck me, Yeah,
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: Don't fuck me either. This just shows like it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what you're born with. By the way, full you
Speaker 1: can clearly.
Speaker 3: Tell as impressed as gimpie ibartle that you're like, goddamn yeah,
Speaker 3: even a water bottle I think is impressive.
Speaker 2: Yes, fuck damn you.
Speaker 1: That is a roll of cookie dough, for sure, but
Speaker 1: maybe half a half a roll of cookie dough.
Speaker 2: But your points taken. Anything with that, Oh, you can
Speaker 2: do all kinds of stuff with that.
Speaker 1: The vinegar bottle, I know it's gonna take two hands. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so this is what they said. I felt okay about
Speaker 1: my penis when I was a wreck, but was very
Speaker 1: self conscious whenever I was naked and flaccid, and I
Speaker 1: like to be naked a lot. Pre surgery, I always
Speaker 1: found myself tugging on my penis, trying to get it
Speaker 1: to chub up a bit so it wasn't too small.
Speaker 1: God man. I went into the surgery knowing that the
Speaker 1: purpose is not to increase erect length, but to increase
Speaker 1: my flaccid length, which is what I really wanted.
Speaker 2: Right, But you're going to get hard and it is
Speaker 2: going to grow whether you like it or not, so you.
Speaker 1: Should have expected that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want my flaccid length to be better, but
Speaker 2: you know you're going to get a hard on at
Speaker 2: some point in time.
Speaker 1: I had a procedure on a Saturday, and I worked
Speaker 1: from home on Monday, went back on Tuesday, had my
Speaker 1: drain removed. Oh my God, didn't miss any work after that.
Speaker 1: I didn't need the painkillers.
Speaker 2: And now he's the most popular guy in the office
Speaker 2: with the gals.
Speaker 1: The first two months were tough at night with nightmare erections.
Speaker 1: I woke up every hour and a half to two hours.
Speaker 1: The first month. When I did wake up, I would
Speaker 1: immediately go to the bathroom and urinate. This helped relieve
Speaker 1: the pressure so I could go back to sleep. I
Speaker 1: urinated in a red solo cup standing at the toilet
Speaker 1: the first couple months. This alleviate cleaning the little bit
Speaker 1: of spray on the toilet that I had at first,
Speaker 1: the stream corrected. It's that's something you don't think about though.
Speaker 1: The second month got better over time. I wore the
Speaker 1: euro rap I don't know what that is. Is that
Speaker 1: a type of bandage?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: As prescribed, wearing the rapid night seem to add pressure
Speaker 1: on the implant. After two months, I was able to
Speaker 1: get into my favorite pair of jeans. You gotta buy
Speaker 1: new pants now, Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 2: Your big old hog ain't gonna fit in the same
Speaker 2: old fucking blue jeans that you was wear before. Hog.
Speaker 1: Try rhino right right. The question everyone asks about sex, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's amazing. I haven't lost any sensation, and women really
Speaker 1: love the extra girth. I do seem to last longer too,
Speaker 1: and I love the confidence that comes with having a
Speaker 1: large penis. I tend to have sex a lot. I'm
Speaker 1: divorced and have sex with different women. I don't feel
Speaker 1: the need to explain to them that I've had an implant.
Speaker 2: But they would be able to tell.
Speaker 1: But they would be able to tell I had one
Speaker 1: if it was totally flaccid.
Speaker 2: Why I do What I do is chub up a.
Speaker 1: Little before they get their hands on it, and then
Speaker 1: they can't tell.
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
Speaker 1: So like, when it's flaccid, it looks like fucking chewing gum?
Speaker 2: Maybe so? Maybe so?
Speaker 1: My full direction always was always ninety degrees, and that
Speaker 1: hasn't changed. Condoms regular condoms do not cut it anymore.
Speaker 1: Ordered the my one sixty four, and they're still what
Speaker 1: the fuck is my one sixty four?
Speaker 2: Maybe they can see the scars when he's.
Speaker 1: Custom fit condoms, Well, bothfucker custom fit condoms. How much
Speaker 1: are they? Seventeen nine dollars? Oh, this one's the seventeen
Speaker 1: ninety nine. Oh this is where a box of eighty Okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. A box of eighty costs is seventy
Speaker 1: six dollars.
Speaker 2: Get them on Amazon. The new era of condoms. This
Speaker 2: could change yourthing.
Speaker 1: So they're softer, advanced quality set, Sure, of course they are.
Speaker 1: They have different sizes. You have a girth number like
Speaker 1: people got to sleep number. What's your girth number? Yo?
Speaker 1: Girth number anywhere from four point seven to nine plus.
Speaker 1: I think when they get the orders in they're like, God,
Speaker 1: damn eight inches and growth. I want to shake his penis.
Speaker 2: I don't believe it's sent a picture.
Speaker 1: Great Lord, they send you a measuring fit kit. Oh no,
Speaker 1: you can download it. You can order a three count
Speaker 1: sampler just to kind of see where you land on this.
Speaker 1: Fuck me don't pick the wrong box first for real.
Speaker 2: Well that's where the custom Fit app comes in to play.
Speaker 1: Well, you don't use the mag so do you you
Speaker 1: get the sampler? Do you try it with your partner?
Speaker 1: And you're like, and then it's you know, like you
Speaker 1: know when the elastic breaks out on your sock. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that, hold on, honey, that's not the right one.
Speaker 2: You got to sit there and try on all these
Speaker 2: rubbers to find out which size fits best.
Speaker 1: Okay, So they have a measuring thing and then you
Speaker 1: print it off and I guess, hold it up to
Speaker 1: your Oh no, it goes around your penis like a
Speaker 1: snip bracelet like yeah, yeah, or like one of those
Speaker 1: tailor's measuring tapes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then.
Speaker 1: It says that then there's a different one. There's like
Speaker 1: the color size, and then there's the letters depending on
Speaker 1: I guess what you're comfortable with. I don't think I
Speaker 1: could do this with my wife. I don't think I
Speaker 1: could measure my girth with my wife. I'd be so
Speaker 1: insecure if it came back extra small for sure, which
Speaker 1: is normal, Like they're starting with normal size. Yeah, oh god, fuck,
Speaker 1: always something to fuck with your head, huh.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
Speaker 1: You can go with wider, which is a nice way
Speaker 1: to say small, and then snug snug.
Speaker 2: I want a form fitting condom.
Speaker 1: You know they had custom condoms?
Speaker 2: Can be I did not know that. That is a
Speaker 2: that is a new thing for me.
Speaker 1: What are their social media posts? Like? I love you
Speaker 1: and your dick? Okay, but daddy, I don't love him.
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day? Oh Jesus Christ. Happy measure of Penis Day
Speaker 1: day is that February first.
Speaker 2: Oh, we're already past it. Keep that in mind for
Speaker 2: next year.
Speaker 1: You measure your hog Day.
Speaker 2: Everybody, whip out your dicks and get to measure it.
Speaker 2: Text in a mess and then the size of your waiter.
Speaker 1: Hey babe, I really want to have sex tonight. I
Speaker 1: stopped and bought some condoms. No worries. I have custom
Speaker 1: fit ones. How that's a fuck it. That's gotta be
Speaker 1: hot for a girl.
Speaker 2: To be like, no shit, you got custom made condoms?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's got custom fit, not custom made like fucking
Speaker 1: filigree right and flames down the side.
Speaker 2: I got them off of because.
Speaker 1: You're a giant fucking Eagles fan.
Speaker 2: Right right? Forty condoms?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I'm saving my brock pretty.
Speaker 2: One, like, right, don't get the cowboys condoms. They'll fail
Speaker 2: you every time. That's terrible.
Speaker 1: So they have true.
Speaker 2: It's funny because it's.
Speaker 1: They have so many different sizes wild, which makes sense.
Speaker 1: We're all wonders, man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, not all waiters are created equal.
Speaker 1: It makes sense you would get a surgery like this
Speaker 1: for your confidence, even though we're both astonished by his
Speaker 1: fucking pre size. But that's what a lot of people do,
Speaker 1: plastic surgery for us, just for confidence.
Speaker 2: That's the way you get breast augmentation.
Speaker 1: Sometimes some people get the women's bodies are so odd
Speaker 1: and the way they make close women so fucked up
Speaker 1: that they get breast augmentations to make close fit them better.
Speaker 2: It makes sense.
Speaker 1: That makes good sense where you and I they don't
Speaker 1: worry about my my fucking pants because my dick's big
Speaker 1: or small, right, right, that's never been concerned. I've never
Speaker 1: been like, these are kind of tight, but my fucking
Speaker 1: dick feels just pressured.
Speaker 2: So we're we're sitting here talking about these custom fit
Speaker 2: condoms for guys with big dicks, right, But what about
Speaker 2: the guys with the micro pene, Dude, surely they have
Speaker 2: the opposite end of that spectrum, right, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Because I mean you got a guy that's
Speaker 2: you know, maybe two inches rock hard and got like
Speaker 2: maybe you know, maybe an engine girth.
Speaker 1: Sure, those regular.
Speaker 2: Condoms aren't gonna fit on him, So maybe would you
Speaker 2: use a finger condom? You know talking about or.
Speaker 1: That's funny like when you wear your finger. Yeah this,
Speaker 1: they have this my condom. People have small ones too,
Speaker 1: which would make which would make sense?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you would think that they would.
Speaker 1: You gotta roll on board both directions. Yeah, hit custom
Speaker 1: condoms and they have a click on it. It's like
Speaker 1: a sane you get a quote with it, like.
Speaker 2: Live long and prosper. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, they make sizes for everyone.
Speaker 2: Okay, whoa how about that?
Speaker 1: I mean even then, maybe that's why they use the
Speaker 1: code so like there's no judgment of like it doesn't
Speaker 1: say extra extra.
Speaker 2: Smart, right right.
Speaker 1: It would make sense though, that they have custom condoms.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I didn't know that that was a
Speaker 1: thing for sure. I mean it makes sense. We only
Speaker 1: see what's in the store.
Speaker 2: You got your standard and then of course the magnums
Speaker 2: have always been the ones for you know, the black
Speaker 2: guys or whatever. You know. I don't even know if
Speaker 2: those are right exactly. I just see him. I'm like here,
Speaker 2: never mind. So that would make sense that that would
Speaker 2: because those weren't always fit everybody. They're like bras, right,
Speaker 2: women have different sized breasts, you know, different cups, different bras.
Speaker 2: Makes it, it makes good sense.
Speaker 1: There's a guy in college that I was friends with,
Speaker 1: and he would always buy of the magnums and leave
Speaker 1: them laying around.
Speaker 2: His place.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's so funny. And I'm like, dude, why do
Speaker 1: you have Why are you leaving your condoms out? He's like,
Speaker 1: I don't use those. I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: He goes, no, girl knows what condom I'm putting on.
Speaker 2: Wha, We'll wait a minute. Doesn't taste like a magnum.
Speaker 1: I don't even know to have taste. It's weird you
Speaker 1: do so Strawberry, No judgment, No judgment, man, I'm your friend,
Speaker 1: no matter what.
Speaker 2: Man, Listen, We've done it on the show and I've
Speaker 2: done it outside of the show. Remember when I sorted
Speaker 2: that condom of my nose and pulled it out of
Speaker 2: my mouth. Yeah, that was a fun time. And then
Speaker 2: somebody was like I bet you can't do it again.
Speaker 2: And this was recent. This is like last year recent,
Speaker 2: that's how recent that was. I was like, I bet
Speaker 2: you I could pull out old condom out of the
Speaker 2: fucking out of their purse and open it up, unrattled
Speaker 2: it and pulled it out right. Yeah, it was a
Speaker 2: hell of a bar trick. That was fun.
Speaker 1: You get a free tab or something.
Speaker 2: No, no, I didn't get anything free except from pulling
Speaker 2: a con That's like a boxer getting in the streets, like,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Get paid? Right? Knowing that I
Speaker 2: could still do, I still got it. I still got it.
Speaker 1: You're fucking seventy ye, still have to fucking pomp.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, never believe what I can do.
Speaker 1: God forbid, you don't do that trick with one of
Speaker 1: these fucking my seventy two's God like pulling fucking scarves
Speaker 1: out of their goddamn mouth at the end, you're fucking underwear.
Speaker 1: You're like, that would be fucking funny, that would be
Speaker 1: funny to do that trick. But keep some fucking underwear
Speaker 1: in your mouth. So right, that's what magicians do. They
Speaker 1: just you know, walk around with fucking scarves in their mouth.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, just keep pulling and pulling and pulling, pulling. Next thing,
Speaker 2: you know, it's a pair of spotted underwear. I think
Speaker 2: it's great. I'm gonna work on that.
Speaker 1: Can't be the great, that's right, Hire me for your
Speaker 1: kids bombits, but our bachelorette party.
Speaker 2: Right jesus, how about that? When I well things about
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: When I started that, I had no idea We're gonna
Speaker 1: venture into the custom condom world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no more.
Speaker 1: You know, imagine they calm want us to do endorsements, right,
Speaker 1: I would do it.
Speaker 2: I just be like, hey, I got my size.
Speaker 1: Right, not telling you fuckers what it is.
Speaker 3: Listen, I will tell you they had to make a
Speaker 3: custom size just for me.
Speaker 2: What are you letting in here? Are you? Are you
Speaker 2: a water bottle guy or a vinegar bottle guy?
Speaker 1: Oh you're a fucking vanilla bottle guy, right right, vanilla
Speaker 1: extract guy.
Speaker 2: Think more chapstick.
Speaker 1: Hey, listen, Corbyn, we're really excited about the endorsement. Looking
Speaker 1: for a great partnership. Can't wait for those social media videos.
Speaker 1: It's gonna take a little longer to get your custom
Speaker 1: condoms out to you, as we had to have them
Speaker 1: specially made in Asia.
Speaker 2: A pediatric doctor in here.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. Just send me the biggest ones you have.
Speaker 1: I'll use those for social media. Yeah right, god damn. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, listen. Uh we've got some stuff coming up
Speaker 1: with Lincoln Park. We can't share with you yet, but
Speaker 1: we will.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be.
Speaker 1: A chance to hang out with us at the Lincoln
Speaker 1: Park show. We'll explain those details soon. And uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's Is there anything else that I'm missing
Speaker 1: that we've got to talk about. We've got your pub crawl.
Speaker 1: We've got Crawl for Cancer coming.
Speaker 2: Up that is coming up in April. April fifth is
Speaker 2: the day of the Cancer Crawl, and towards the end
Speaker 2: of March, end of this month. Fuck end of this month,
Speaker 2: we're gonna be putting our contrast together so you can
Speaker 2: join our team or you just go to crawlans dot org.
Speaker 2: Gonna make your own name team.
Speaker 1: All right, you guys, have a fantastic week, and we'll
Speaker 1: talk to you soon.
Speaker 2: See yea, bye bye