WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to hit on some of these again, see

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<v Speaker 1>can because there were more of an that really exists?

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<v Speaker 2>Are these sports that have been combined?

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<v Speaker 1>These really exist? Okay, so chess boxing competitors alternate between

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<v Speaker 1>rounds of chess and boxing check made or knockout wins.

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<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic. That wouldn't make chess a little more interesting

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<v Speaker 2>to watch.

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<v Speaker 1>Underwater ice hockey played upside down under a frozen lake

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<v Speaker 1>using a floating puck. Players hold their breath while maneuvering

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<v Speaker 1>under the ice with no oxygen tinks allowed. Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>who the fuck came up with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Somebody said, I got a great idea, we should do

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<v Speaker 2>this under the ice.

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<v Speaker 1>Extreme ironing Extreme it's where you take ironing boards to

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<v Speaker 1>places like skydiving, rock climbing, even underwater, to iron clothes

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<v Speaker 1>in extreme conditions.

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<v Speaker 2>I think underwater ironing is ridiculous. You're never gonna get

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<v Speaker 2>that thing. Get the wrinkles out.

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<v Speaker 1>Volleyball soccer kung fu. That's called sipppoc tar tuck raw

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<v Speaker 1>Southeast Asian sport where players use their feet, head, knees

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<v Speaker 1>and chest to hit a ball over a net like volleyball,

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<v Speaker 1>but without using their hands. So kung fu, not like hitting,

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<v Speaker 1>but kung fu like the Arab aerodynamics of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Got it.

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<v Speaker 1>Horseball, basketball, rugby, and horseback riding. Okay, think of basketball

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<v Speaker 1>and rugby played on horseback teams pass a ball with

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<v Speaker 1>handles and try to score, and a hoop while galloping

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<v Speaker 1>at full speed.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that could be interesting to watch.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I've seen a polo match and been like,

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<v Speaker 1>this sucks. This is not fun to.

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<v Speaker 2>Watch exactly, So we ramp it up a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Throw in some rugby. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean the magnitude of a horse is always impressive, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're when they run by you. I mean, it's crazy, right.

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<v Speaker 1>So when it was up close, it's cool. But when

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<v Speaker 1>it's on the far side, you're like, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm watching. It's like it's not like Nascar where

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<v Speaker 1>they'll be back in a second, right, right. So I

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<v Speaker 1>never got into that. I never I never liked that.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>I found this. Remember when we talked about penis implants

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<v Speaker 1>and why someone like guinea one. Sure this is from

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<v Speaker 1>someone who got one and before and after measurements, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>because I would think if you're going to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>there better be a visual difference. Absolutely all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's thet you would think. That's the whole reason

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<v Speaker 2>to get a peni landplant. You don't like how small

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<v Speaker 2>your wiener is, so you damp it up a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>So this person, before they got their surgery flaccid, they

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<v Speaker 1>were three inches length, four inches in girth.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn, four inches flaccid and three inches long.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just being awesome, honest, I have no idea what

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<v Speaker 1>my girth is.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a fucking like a tuna can. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well no, uh, maybe I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>But essentially, no, essentially because if you think about it,

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<v Speaker 2>think about your two inch exhaust. Man, that's a big

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<v Speaker 2>ass fucking hole right there. So four inches around. My

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<v Speaker 2>hands can't even grasp that four inches around, and only.

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<v Speaker 1>A coffee mug opening is between three and a half

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<v Speaker 1>and four inches, jam.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, exactly, that's how round a motherfucker is.

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<v Speaker 1>A hockey puck is three inches.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, we've all know the size of a hockey puck.

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<v Speaker 1>A CD DVD is four point seven okay, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so listen, but you weren't giving in links.

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<v Speaker 1>You got in girth. That's scary as fuck, right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>hold on, because a rackt he was six inch in

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<v Speaker 1>length and six inches in girth.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's good, even weird.

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<v Speaker 1>So he got the Panuma XXL surgery and his post

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<v Speaker 1>surgery measurements flaccid, six inches in length, six inches in girth, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and erect he was six point two inches in length.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh midshaft whatever that means, he's seven and a half

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<v Speaker 1>inches to eight and oh around the mid shaft, he

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<v Speaker 1>was seven and a half inches to eight inches in girth.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn that's a big o'plimpic.

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<v Speaker 1>Coc No shit, that is a goddamn club for real,

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<v Speaker 1>like a baby holding an apple.

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<v Speaker 2>Fuck that fuck that?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that can't be. I mean that is what is

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<v Speaker 1>he trying to do? Be a porn star?

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<v Speaker 2>Probably feel better about bottle.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is a standard tennis ball is eight inches

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<v Speaker 1>in girth, a medium sized orange, a can of soda,

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<v Speaker 1>a standard roll of toilet paper, a man's wrist, a right,

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<v Speaker 1>a small coffee mug handle. So like that bottle right there.

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<v Speaker 2>Which the vinegar Okay, yeah, yeah, I give her take.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah, that's a big difference.

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<v Speaker 1>So he went from a water bottle right to a

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<v Speaker 1>vinegar bottle.

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<v Speaker 2>Like the big Yeah, that's massive. Can you hold these.

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<v Speaker 1>Up to your mouth and see you like.

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<v Speaker 2>The Well, I couldn't. But no, I'm not a fucking

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<v Speaker 2>fun man. No, I do not know. Do not fuck me, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't fuck me either. This just shows like it doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>matter what you're born with. By the way, full you

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<v Speaker 1>can clearly.

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<v Speaker 3>Tell as impressed as gimpie ibartle that you're like, goddamn yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>even a water bottle I think is impressive.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, fuck damn you.

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<v Speaker 1>That is a roll of cookie dough, for sure, but

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<v Speaker 1>maybe half a half a roll of cookie dough.

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<v Speaker 2>But your points taken. Anything with that, Oh, you can

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<v Speaker 2>do all kinds of stuff with that.

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<v Speaker 1>The vinegar bottle, I know it's gonna take two hands. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so this is what they said. I felt okay about

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<v Speaker 1>my penis when I was a wreck, but was very

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<v Speaker 1>self conscious whenever I was naked and flaccid, and I

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<v Speaker 1>like to be naked a lot. Pre surgery, I always

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<v Speaker 1>found myself tugging on my penis, trying to get it

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<v Speaker 1>to chub up a bit so it wasn't too small.

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<v Speaker 1>God man. I went into the surgery knowing that the

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<v Speaker 1>purpose is not to increase erect length, but to increase

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<v Speaker 1>my flaccid length, which is what I really wanted.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, But you're going to get hard and it is

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<v Speaker 2>going to grow whether you like it or not, so you.

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<v Speaker 1>Should have expected that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I want my flaccid length to be better, but

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<v Speaker 2>you know you're going to get a hard on at

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<v Speaker 2>some point in time.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a procedure on a Saturday, and I worked

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<v Speaker 1>from home on Monday, went back on Tuesday, had my

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<v Speaker 1>drain removed. Oh my God, didn't miss any work after that.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't need the painkillers.

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<v Speaker 2>And now he's the most popular guy in the office

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<v Speaker 2>with the gals.

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<v Speaker 1>The first two months were tough at night with nightmare erections.

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up every hour and a half to two hours.

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<v Speaker 1>The first month. When I did wake up, I would

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<v Speaker 1>immediately go to the bathroom and urinate. This helped relieve

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<v Speaker 1>the pressure so I could go back to sleep. I

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<v Speaker 1>urinated in a red solo cup standing at the toilet

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<v Speaker 1>the first couple months. This alleviate cleaning the little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of spray on the toilet that I had at first,

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<v Speaker 1>the stream corrected. It's that's something you don't think about though.

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<v Speaker 1>The second month got better over time. I wore the

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<v Speaker 1>euro rap I don't know what that is. Is that

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<v Speaker 1>a type of bandage?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>As prescribed, wearing the rapid night seem to add pressure

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<v Speaker 1>on the implant. After two months, I was able to

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<v Speaker 1>get into my favorite pair of jeans. You gotta buy

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<v Speaker 1>new pants now, Yeah, you have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Your big old hog ain't gonna fit in the same

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<v Speaker 2>old fucking blue jeans that you was wear before. Hog.

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<v Speaker 1>Try rhino right right. The question everyone asks about sex, Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it's amazing. I haven't lost any sensation, and women really

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<v Speaker 1>love the extra girth. I do seem to last longer too,

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<v Speaker 1>and I love the confidence that comes with having a

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<v Speaker 1>large penis. I tend to have sex a lot. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>divorced and have sex with different women. I don't feel

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<v Speaker 1>the need to explain to them that I've had an implant.

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<v Speaker 2>But they would be able to tell.

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<v Speaker 1>But they would be able to tell I had one

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<v Speaker 1>if it was totally flaccid.

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<v Speaker 2>Why I do What I do is chub up a.

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<v Speaker 1>Little before they get their hands on it, and then

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<v Speaker 1>they can't tell.

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<v Speaker 2>What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>So like, when it's flaccid, it looks like fucking chewing gum?

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe so? Maybe so?

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<v Speaker 1>My full direction always was always ninety degrees, and that

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't changed. Condoms regular condoms do not cut it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Ordered the my one sixty four, and they're still what

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<v Speaker 1>the fuck is my one sixty four?

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe they can see the scars when he's.

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<v Speaker 1>Custom fit condoms, Well, bothfucker custom fit condoms. How much

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<v Speaker 1>are they? Seventeen nine dollars? Oh, this one's the seventeen

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<v Speaker 1>ninety nine. Oh this is where a box of eighty Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that makes sense. A box of eighty costs is seventy

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<v Speaker 1>six dollars.

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<v Speaker 2>Get them on Amazon. The new era of condoms. This

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<v Speaker 2>could change yourthing.

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<v Speaker 1>So they're softer, advanced quality set, Sure, of course they are.

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<v Speaker 1>They have different sizes. You have a girth number like

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<v Speaker 1>people got to sleep number. What's your girth number? Yo?

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<v Speaker 1>Girth number anywhere from four point seven to nine plus.

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<v Speaker 1>I think when they get the orders in they're like, God,

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<v Speaker 1>damn eight inches and growth. I want to shake his penis.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't believe it's sent a picture.

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<v Speaker 1>Great Lord, they send you a measuring fit kit. Oh no,

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<v Speaker 1>you can download it. You can order a three count

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<v Speaker 1>sampler just to kind of see where you land on this.

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<v Speaker 1>Fuck me don't pick the wrong box first for real.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that's where the custom Fit app comes in to play.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you don't use the mag so do you you

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<v Speaker 1>get the sampler? Do you try it with your partner?

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<v Speaker 1>And you're like, and then it's you know, like you

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<v Speaker 1>know when the elastic breaks out on your sock. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>like that, hold on, honey, that's not the right one.

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<v Speaker 2>You got to sit there and try on all these

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<v Speaker 2>rubbers to find out which size fits best.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So they have a measuring thing and then you

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<v Speaker 1>print it off and I guess, hold it up to

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<v Speaker 1>your Oh no, it goes around your penis like a

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<v Speaker 1>snip bracelet like yeah, yeah, or like one of those

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<v Speaker 1>tailor's measuring tapes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And then.

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<v Speaker 1>It says that then there's a different one. There's like

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<v Speaker 1>the color size, and then there's the letters depending on

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<v Speaker 1>I guess what you're comfortable with. I don't think I

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<v Speaker 1>could do this with my wife. I don't think I

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<v Speaker 1>could measure my girth with my wife. I'd be so

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<v Speaker 1>insecure if it came back extra small for sure, which

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<v Speaker 1>is normal, Like they're starting with normal size. Yeah, oh god, fuck,

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<v Speaker 1>always something to fuck with your head, huh.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>You can go with wider, which is a nice way

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<v Speaker 1>to say small, and then snug snug.

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<v Speaker 2>I want a form fitting condom.

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<v Speaker 1>You know they had custom condoms?

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<v Speaker 2>Can be I did not know that. That is a

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<v Speaker 2>that is a new thing for me.

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<v Speaker 1>What are their social media posts? Like? I love you

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<v Speaker 1>and your dick? Okay, but daddy, I don't love him.

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<v Speaker 1>Valentine's Day? Oh Jesus Christ. Happy measure of Penis Day

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<v Speaker 1>day is that February first.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, we're already past it. Keep that in mind for

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<v Speaker 2>next year.

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<v Speaker 1>You measure your hog Day.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody, whip out your dicks and get to measure it.

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<v Speaker 2>Text in a mess and then the size of your waiter.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey babe, I really want to have sex tonight. I

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<v Speaker 1>stopped and bought some condoms. No worries. I have custom

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<v Speaker 1>fit ones. How that's a fuck it. That's gotta be

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<v Speaker 1>hot for a girl.

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<v Speaker 2>To be like, no shit, you got custom made condoms?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's got custom fit, not custom made like fucking

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<v Speaker 1>filigree right and flames down the side.

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<v Speaker 2>I got them off of because.

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<v Speaker 1>You're a giant fucking Eagles fan.

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<v Speaker 2>Right right? Forty condoms?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wait, I'm saving my brock pretty.

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<v Speaker 2>One, like, right, don't get the cowboys condoms. They'll fail

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<v Speaker 2>you every time. That's terrible.

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<v Speaker 1>So they have true.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny because it's.

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<v Speaker 1>They have so many different sizes wild, which makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all wonders, man.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, not all waiters are created equal.

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<v Speaker 1>It makes sense you would get a surgery like this

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<v Speaker 1>for your confidence, even though we're both astonished by his

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<v Speaker 1>fucking pre size. But that's what a lot of people do,

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<v Speaker 1>plastic surgery for us, just for confidence.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the way you get breast augmentation.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes some people get the women's bodies are so odd

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<v Speaker 1>and the way they make close women so fucked up

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<v Speaker 1>that they get breast augmentations to make close fit them better.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>That makes good sense where you and I they don't

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<v Speaker 1>worry about my my fucking pants because my dick's big

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<v Speaker 1>or small, right, right, that's never been concerned. I've never

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<v Speaker 1>been like, these are kind of tight, but my fucking

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<v Speaker 1>dick feels just pressured.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're we're sitting here talking about these custom fit

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<v Speaker 2>condoms for guys with big dicks, right, But what about

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<v Speaker 2>the guys with the micro pene, Dude, surely they have

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<v Speaker 2>the opposite end of that spectrum, right, you know what

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<v Speaker 2>I mean? Because I mean you got a guy that's

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<v Speaker 2>you know, maybe two inches rock hard and got like

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<v Speaker 2>maybe you know, maybe an engine girth.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure, those regular.

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<v Speaker 2>Condoms aren't gonna fit on him, So maybe would you

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<v Speaker 2>use a finger condom? You know talking about or.

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<v Speaker 1>That's funny like when you wear your finger. Yeah this,

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<v Speaker 1>they have this my condom. People have small ones too,

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<v Speaker 1>which would make which would make sense?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, you would think that they would.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta roll on board both directions. Yeah, hit custom

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<v Speaker 1>condoms and they have a click on it. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>a sane you get a quote with it, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Live long and prosper. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>No, they make sizes for everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, whoa how about that?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean even then, maybe that's why they use the

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<v Speaker 1>code so like there's no judgment of like it doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>say extra extra.

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<v Speaker 2>Smart, right right.

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<v Speaker 1>It would make sense though, that they have custom condoms.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe I didn't know that that was a

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<v Speaker 1>thing for sure. I mean it makes sense. We only

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<v Speaker 1>see what's in the store.

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<v Speaker 2>You got your standard and then of course the magnums

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<v Speaker 2>have always been the ones for you know, the black

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<v Speaker 2>guys or whatever. You know. I don't even know if

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<v Speaker 2>those are right exactly. I just see him. I'm like here,

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<v Speaker 2>never mind. So that would make sense that that would

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<v Speaker 2>because those weren't always fit everybody. They're like bras, right,

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<v Speaker 2>women have different sized breasts, you know, different cups, different bras.

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<v Speaker 2>Makes it, it makes good sense.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a guy in college that I was friends with,

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<v Speaker 1>and he would always buy of the magnums and leave

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<v Speaker 1>them laying around.

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<v Speaker 2>His place.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's so funny. And I'm like, dude, why do

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<v Speaker 1>you have Why are you leaving your condoms out? He's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't use those. I'm like, what do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>He goes, no, girl knows what condom I'm putting on.

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<v Speaker 2>Wha, We'll wait a minute. Doesn't taste like a magnum.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know to have taste. It's weird you

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<v Speaker 1>do so Strawberry, No judgment, No judgment, man, I'm your friend,

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<v Speaker 1>no matter what.

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<v Speaker 2>Man, Listen, We've done it on the show and I've

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<v Speaker 2>done it outside of the show. Remember when I sorted

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<v Speaker 2>that condom of my nose and pulled it out of

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<v Speaker 2>my mouth. Yeah, that was a fun time. And then

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<v Speaker 2>somebody was like I bet you can't do it again.

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<v Speaker 2>And this was recent. This is like last year recent,

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<v Speaker 2>that's how recent that was. I was like, I bet

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<v Speaker 2>you I could pull out old condom out of the

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<v Speaker 2>fucking out of their purse and open it up, unrattled

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<v Speaker 2>it and pulled it out right. Yeah, it was a

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<v Speaker 2>hell of a bar trick. That was fun.

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<v Speaker 1>You get a free tab or something.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, I didn't get anything free except from pulling

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<v Speaker 2>a con That's like a boxer getting in the streets, like,

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<v Speaker 2>what are you doing? Get paid? Right? Knowing that I

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<v Speaker 2>could still do, I still got it. I still got it.

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<v Speaker 1>You're fucking seventy ye, still have to fucking pomp.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, never believe what I can do.

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<v Speaker 1>God forbid, you don't do that trick with one of

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<v Speaker 1>these fucking my seventy two's God like pulling fucking scarves

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<v Speaker 1>out of their goddamn mouth at the end, you're fucking underwear.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, that would be fucking funny, that would be

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<v Speaker 1>funny to do that trick. But keep some fucking underwear

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<v Speaker 1>in your mouth. So right, that's what magicians do. They

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<v Speaker 1>just you know, walk around with fucking scarves in their mouth.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, just keep pulling and pulling and pulling, pulling. Next thing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, it's a pair of spotted underwear. I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's great. I'm gonna work on that.

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<v Speaker 1>Can't be the great, that's right, Hire me for your

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<v Speaker 1>kids bombits, but our bachelorette party.

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<v Speaker 2>Right jesus, how about that? When I well things about

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<v Speaker 2>the show.

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<v Speaker 1>When I started that, I had no idea We're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>venture into the custom condom world.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no more.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, imagine they calm want us to do endorsements, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I would do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I just be like, hey, I got my size.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, not telling you fuckers what it is.

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<v Speaker 3>Listen, I will tell you they had to make a

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<v Speaker 3>custom size just for me.

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<v Speaker 2>What are you letting in here? Are you? Are you

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<v Speaker 2>a water bottle guy or a vinegar bottle guy?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh you're a fucking vanilla bottle guy, right right, vanilla

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<v Speaker 1>extract guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Think more chapstick.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, listen, Corbyn, we're really excited about the endorsement. Looking

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<v Speaker 1>for a great partnership. Can't wait for those social media videos.

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna take a little longer to get your custom

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<v Speaker 1>condoms out to you, as we had to have them

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<v Speaker 1>specially made in Asia.

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<v Speaker 2>A pediatric doctor in here.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't worry. Just send me the biggest ones you have.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll use those for social media. Yeah right, god damn. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, listen. Uh we've got some stuff coming up

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<v Speaker 1>with Lincoln Park. We can't share with you yet, but

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<v Speaker 1>we will.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be.

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<v Speaker 1>A chance to hang out with us at the Lincoln

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<v Speaker 1>Park show. We'll explain those details soon. And uh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's Is there anything else that I'm missing

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<v Speaker 1>that we've got to talk about. We've got your pub crawl.

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<v Speaker 1>We've got Crawl for Cancer coming.

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<v Speaker 2>Up that is coming up in April. April fifth is

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<v Speaker 2>the day of the Cancer Crawl, and towards the end

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<v Speaker 2>of March, end of this month. Fuck end of this month,

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna be putting our contrast together so you can

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<v Speaker 2>join our team or you just go to crawlans dot org.

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<v Speaker 2>Gonna make your own name team.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, you guys, have a fantastic week, and we'll

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<v Speaker 1>talk to you soon.

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<v Speaker 2>See yea, bye bye