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<v Speaker 1>Weird way. Welcome back midnight viewers to Father Malone's weekly

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<v Speaker 1>round up, The Spoiler Round Up. This is an anomaly

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<v Speaker 1>of an episode in that we're going back over previously

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<v Speaker 1>covered material, and as that title will suggests, this is

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be fucking spoilerrific. We're gonna Rosebud all over Bruce

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<v Speaker 1>Willis's ghost who's having lunch with Luke Skywalker's dad. Also

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<v Speaker 1>a ghost named Darth Vader. So so if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>know that Tyler, Dirton and Jack are the same person,

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<v Speaker 1>you might want to leave. You know that Ed Norton's

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<v Speaker 1>character's name, right, not narrator, Definitely not Tyler. All the

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<v Speaker 1>books he keeps finding, I'm Jacks Colin, I'm Jack's blah

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah, He's Jack. Anyway, got some corrections. In last

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<v Speaker 1>week's episode, when I was discussing Alien Earth, I kept

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<v Speaker 1>referring to the head of the Prodigy Corporation as Kid Cavalier.

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<v Speaker 1>His name is Boy Cavalier. In my defense, I co

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<v Speaker 1>host Knight Mister Walters, a taxi podcast, and in the

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<v Speaker 1>most recent episode of that, Tony Banta went incognito in

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<v Speaker 1>the boxing ring as a fighter named Kid Rodriguez, and

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<v Speaker 1>there have been a ton of kid fighters because kid

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<v Speaker 1>anything is a cool name. Boy would lose its luster

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<v Speaker 1>at age sixteen, probably earlier if you're a child genie,

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<v Speaker 1>which clearly I am not, because it's boy Cavalier. In

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<v Speaker 1>other alien xenomorphic corrections, my mother informed me that she

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<v Speaker 1>would have definitely purchased that eighteen inch alien figure for

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<v Speaker 1>me had I only asked. This was a crushing revelation,

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<v Speaker 1>as you might imagine. I mean, I'm certain forty years

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<v Speaker 1>later and that figure would be long gone or and

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<v Speaker 1>or destroyed by me at some point, but it could

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<v Speaker 1>have been mine, freaking me out from the corner of

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<v Speaker 1>my room as I tried to sleep. Jesus, I'm glad

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't ask for it. My mother then reminded me

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<v Speaker 1>of her one and only toy rule, no toy guns,

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<v Speaker 1>as if I needed reminding that the only squirt gun

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<v Speaker 1>I was allowed as a child was shaped like bugs

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<v Speaker 1>bunny's head, humiliating in neighborhood warfare situations. And that's all

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<v Speaker 1>the corrections, because my reporting otherwise is unassailable, and there's

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<v Speaker 1>no Ripley here to check that well, I mean, she's here,

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<v Speaker 1>but she's asleep. Remember a few months back, I was

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<v Speaker 1>obsessed with Madmen because I discovered the joys of streaming

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<v Speaker 1>services that have created entire channels populated with only one show.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right, twenty four hours a day of the Goldbergs

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<v Speaker 1>bad example. That show's terrible. But anyway, mad Men was

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<v Speaker 1>like wallpaper here in the kab Lighthouse for a few weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>And now it's MythBusters. Remember MythBusters? Remember when everyone was

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<v Speaker 1>obsessed with how cool science is for a few years there.

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<v Speaker 1>That was heartening, hopeful even Well, there's like eighteen seasons

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<v Speaker 1>of that show. So that's what's on when I'm home

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<v Speaker 1>these days. It's comforting to hear Adam Savage cackling in

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<v Speaker 1>some portion of my home. Oh god, And it's nice

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<v Speaker 1>to see some critical thinking for a change. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the end of the social commentary. The other thing

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<v Speaker 1>I ankled deep in these days is the Tim Robinson

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<v Speaker 1>show I Think You Should Leave on Netflix. I was

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<v Speaker 1>really slow warming to this fella and his humor, even

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<v Speaker 1>though every fucking comedian I respect has been singing his

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<v Speaker 1>praises for years. I just couldn't crack that code. Then

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<v Speaker 1>I watched his show Detroititer's also on Netflix, and that

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<v Speaker 1>was the key Robinson does cringey humor, which I am

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<v Speaker 1>generally off put by. Life is fucking awkward enough without

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<v Speaker 1>experiencing it vicariously through others, but Robinson has elevated it

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<v Speaker 1>into an art form. Also on Netflix. Also, I missed

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<v Speaker 1>the Boat on its initial run. The Unauthorized Bash Brothers

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<v Speaker 1>Experience The Lonely Island's visual poem. This is a fictional

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<v Speaker 1>album by jose Canseco and Mark maguire set in the

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<v Speaker 1>late nineteen eighties. The specificity of the music is what

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<v Speaker 1>finally grabbed me here. The beats and the rhymes they're

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<v Speaker 1>laying on top are so fucking era appropriate that it hurts.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a little obsessed. It takes me half an hour

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<v Speaker 1>to get to work. That album is thirty minutes. How

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<v Speaker 1>many times do you think I've heard Andy Samberg as

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<v Speaker 1>jose Conseco boast about his room full of Kathy Ireland cutouts.

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<v Speaker 1>I got one hundred card board cutouts, the Kafy Ireland

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<v Speaker 1>all in one room. A run through that shit naked,

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<v Speaker 1>make them all watch me fuck myself with the broom.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh cassies, Oh my Cathys, you're the only ones that

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<v Speaker 1>know my pain, and you'll the only ones to see

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<v Speaker 1>my shame and yo jusse, Come on, man, we'll live

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<v Speaker 1>for the game. Let's talk spoilers. I generally just don't

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<v Speaker 1>give a shit about them myself. I'll read that script

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<v Speaker 1>for something years before it's made if I can get

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<v Speaker 1>my hands on it. My thing is, if the totality

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<v Speaker 1>of the entertainment is based on one surprise, then how

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<v Speaker 1>entertaining was it? Does it stand on its own, does

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<v Speaker 1>the twist or reveal deepen the other parts of the drama,

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<v Speaker 1>and how fucking rewatchable is it? Anyway? My system of

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<v Speaker 1>rules is not on trial here. I am very sensitive

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<v Speaker 1>to those viewers who preserve the twist with their very lives.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why I'm so hesitant to say as much as

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<v Speaker 1>I do in the pocket reviews here on the roundup,

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<v Speaker 1>which is me saying, turned this show off now if

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<v Speaker 1>you're allergic to the future, And if that's the case,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for tuning in thus far, and I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you'll be back on Friday, where Yaoucha fest returns and

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<v Speaker 1>our pal HP with it. He and I are discussing

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<v Speaker 1>the PG thirteen masterpiece Aliens Versus Predator AVP. Hey, you

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<v Speaker 1>know me, no matter who wins, we lose. Look at

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<v Speaker 1>that tagline, it's predicting the future. That's Friday or if

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<v Speaker 1>you want to hear that and our review of Alien

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<v Speaker 1>Versus Predator Requiem, you can hear them both right now

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<v Speaker 1>on the Patreon channel, as well as the latest installment

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<v Speaker 1>of HP Hates Me, where he made me watch Corey

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<v Speaker 1>ham me myself and I what a fucking nightmare. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>you have now been sufficiently warned spoilers by still here.

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<v Speaker 1>Our main topic is going to be weapons, but I

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<v Speaker 1>did want to touch on some of the alien Earth

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<v Speaker 1>to start. By the time you hear this, you might

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<v Speaker 1>actually know more than me, because the fourth episode will

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<v Speaker 1>be out as of this recording. I've watched the first

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<v Speaker 1>three a couple of times. I have to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>the fucking eyeball, you know, the one IMAGINEO the Wayland

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<v Speaker 1>Utahanni deep space research vessel at the center of this series,

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<v Speaker 1>the one that crashed into a Prodigy building in New Siam,

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<v Speaker 1>has apparently been in space for sixty five years. The

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<v Speaker 1>crew volunteered for what Ellen Ripley accidentally did to herself

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<v Speaker 1>at the end of Alien and they've brought back five species.

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<v Speaker 1>One is the xenomorph. One is this horrible bug thing

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<v Speaker 1>that drinks blood until it's a swollen sack of fleshy grossness.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a flying thing that's yet to be revealed. There's

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<v Speaker 1>what's being called the orchid, an apt name considering it

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<v Speaker 1>looks like an unopened orchid bud hanging upside down and

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<v Speaker 1>promising to open and reveal something really horrifying. And it'll

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<v Speaker 1>have to be to top the t ocellus, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>cruise designation for the octopus eye, a giant eyeball with

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<v Speaker 1>half a dozen irises and tentacled legs that are tensil

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<v Speaker 1>and lethal. And the motherfucker climbs into corpses, inserts itself

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<v Speaker 1>into the ocular cavity and then puppets their body. What

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<v Speaker 1>the fuck, Noah Hawley. He demonstrates it with a cat

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<v Speaker 1>one that looks like Jonesy. Holly himself described giggling as

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<v Speaker 1>he was writing it, recognizing just how horrible the scene is.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the correct response. As I said in the last

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<v Speaker 1>round up, Holly understood the power of surprise in the

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<v Speaker 1>first Alien film, and he very wisely realized he's not

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<v Speaker 1>going to get there as far as mind chattering moments

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<v Speaker 1>like Cain in the very first burst Chest, so instead

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<v Speaker 1>he's stacking up so much twisted, odd and mortally questionable

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<v Speaker 1>material that it creates the same overall effect as the

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<v Speaker 1>chest Burster. We're lucky he's interested in loftier ambitions because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm convinced, had Holly decided to just barrel into horror,

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<v Speaker 1>this could be unrelenting and most likely scarring. Another thing

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<v Speaker 1>that's kind of wackad do off kilter in this series

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<v Speaker 1>is the young adults that are our heroes and the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that they're actually children. The show never shines away

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<v Speaker 1>from reminding us about these tiny kids are running around

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<v Speaker 1>in adult synthetic bodies, nor does it shrink from confronting

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<v Speaker 1>some of the dodgier aspects to the process and the

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<v Speaker 1>character's own struggles with their new busy and identities. Speaking

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<v Speaker 1>of them, Wendy, our lead, is played by Sidney Chandler.

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<v Speaker 1>In addition to being Kyle Chandler's daughter who saw that coming,

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<v Speaker 1>she was the best part of Danny Boyle's mini series

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<v Speaker 1>Pistol about the rise of the sex pistols. Chandler played

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<v Speaker 1>Chrissy Hind and she fucking killed it. That series was

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<v Speaker 1>adapted mainly from Steve Jones's memoir of his time in

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<v Speaker 1>the Pistols, as such as heavily freighted towards Steve Jones

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<v Speaker 1>as the chief creative force behind the Pistols, which is

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<v Speaker 1>great for the Chrissy Hind subplot as she was Jones's friend.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'll let you decide for yourself the overall quality.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I should watch it again. I did come away

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<v Speaker 1>with a deeper appreciation of both Chrissy Hind and Vivian Westwood.

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<v Speaker 1>In any event, I really like her in Alien Earth,

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<v Speaker 1>and I particularly like the fact that Wendy and the

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<v Speaker 1>Lost Boys are synthetic hybrids. It solves two problems elegantly.

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<v Speaker 1>James Cameron recognized that in a hand to hand situation,

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<v Speaker 1>humans stand zero percent chance of surviving against an alien,

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<v Speaker 1>so he ramped up the firepower. And that's been the

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<v Speaker 1>only solution since then in any of the iterations until now,

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<v Speaker 1>because now our leads have no reason to fear the creature,

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<v Speaker 1>and odds are they're just as strong. And and this

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<v Speaker 1>is the really clever bit. If next season he wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to jump ahead, say twenty years, and tell the story

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<v Speaker 1>of Amanda Ripley, who's out there searching for her mom.

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<v Speaker 1>He could do so with these characters who don't age.

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<v Speaker 1>Jump another thirty years, and he could have them running

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<v Speaker 1>around the Silaco while Hicks and Bishop and Ripley are

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<v Speaker 1>slugging it out on LV four twenty six. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>suggesting they need to do any of this actual interaction

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<v Speaker 1>with legacy characters. I'm just saying it's possible and exciting. Okay, weapons,

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<v Speaker 1>not joking anymore. This isn't a series you can push

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<v Speaker 1>a button and watch right now. So if you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>seen weapons, here we go. It's witchcraft. There's a witch.

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<v Speaker 1>She's kidnapping the children to feed on their life force.

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<v Speaker 1>And by she I mean Aunt Gladys, a shrunken apple

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<v Speaker 1>doll under a severe shocking red bob and a slash

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<v Speaker 1>of lipstick where her mouth ought to be a character

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<v Speaker 1>that every time she popped up on screen had be

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<v Speaker 1>confusedly wondering who is that? She really reminds me of?

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<v Speaker 1>Amy Madigan. Of course it is Amy Madigan, who I

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<v Speaker 1>hope is getting all the fucking notoriety she deserves. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>her on Carnival. She was the real evil there too.

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<v Speaker 1>She has had a long and illustrious career. But here's

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<v Speaker 1>the flick I always recommend. Streets of Fire. That's the

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<v Speaker 1>Walter Hill, a rock and roll fable from nineteen eighty four.

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<v Speaker 1>She auditioned for Ellen Ame and ended up taking the

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<v Speaker 1>role of McCoy, that is, the badass, fully capable soldier

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<v Speaker 1>of fortune sidekick that had been written for a man.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how fucking awesome Amy Madigan is. And if you

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<v Speaker 1>rewatch the movie, do so for one moment that involves McCoy.

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<v Speaker 1>When our heroes have infiltrated torchies. Of course there's torchies.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a Walter Hill movie. McCoy goes upstairs and gets

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<v Speaker 1>one of the gang alone. The speed with which Amy

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<v Speaker 1>Madigan draws a pistol and places it against the guy's

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<v Speaker 1>skull is nothing short of breathtaking. See for yourself. So weapons, Aunt, Gladys.

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<v Speaker 1>The story is that Alex, the only boy who didn't

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<v Speaker 1>go missing, His parents inform him that a distant relative

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<v Speaker 1>is ailing and coming to live with them. Thus Gladys,

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<v Speaker 1>and as soon as she's in the house, the parents

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<v Speaker 1>are different, distant odd threatening because Gladys, who claims at

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<v Speaker 1>times to be Alex's aunt, his mother's sister, and Alex's

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<v Speaker 1>great aunt, a sister of his grandmother, is above all

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<v Speaker 1>a witch, one who is winding down and falling apart

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<v Speaker 1>and needs to feed, and has chosen Alex's parents, but

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<v Speaker 1>finds that they're not sufficient sustenance. Thus she targets Alex's class.

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<v Speaker 1>A couple of things here, because this is the line

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<v Speaker 1>of demarcation, it would seem amongst viewers of the film

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<v Speaker 1>a contentious line at that early images of those seventeen

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<v Speaker 1>children climbing out of bed and stepping out and running

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<v Speaker 1>off into the night are so fucking evocative and so

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<v Speaker 1>weighted with possibility that for a lot of people, finding

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<v Speaker 1>out that it's the crazy old lady you avoid at

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<v Speaker 1>the grocery store is kind of a letdown. And I

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<v Speaker 1>get that, because the mystery of seventeen disappearances in one

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<v Speaker 1>night is intriguing enough on its own, that there was

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<v Speaker 1>seemingly no perpetrator is doubly so. And in my horrible brain,

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<v Speaker 1>I go to lovecrafty and darkness. Those kids could very

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<v Speaker 1>well be trapped in some hell of infinite teeth and terror,

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, sometimes the honest thing just clicks in

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<v Speaker 1>your mind. A puzzle piece you didn't know you were

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<v Speaker 1>looking for just appears. Here's how the overly analytical cinematic

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<v Speaker 1>dissection machine of a brain of mind worked. I mentioned

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<v Speaker 1>Fight Club earlier. You know what I realized in that

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<v Speaker 1>movie when Jack is punching himself in front of his boss,

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<v Speaker 1>he thinks for some reason, I thought about my first

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<v Speaker 1>fight with Tyler, and my mind went, because you've been

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<v Speaker 1>beating yourself up the whole time. There is no Tyler. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>we're fallowing the journey of a crazy man. Somehow. The

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<v Speaker 1>site of the children running in the manner in which

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<v Speaker 1>they do, and the mystery and the title. The title

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<v Speaker 1>specifically locked my brain in on the notion that it's

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<v Speaker 1>witchcraft and someone is controlling these children and potentially as

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<v Speaker 1>human weapons. That's still pretty vague, but it's also a

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<v Speaker 1>pretty good cushion for the reveal, because had I been

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<v Speaker 1>convinced of the limitless possibilities of what actually happened to

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<v Speaker 1>those kids, I can see where it's a witch might

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<v Speaker 1>be that letdown, But I was not let down. That's

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<v Speaker 1>a scary fucking character and a scarier scenario we get

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<v Speaker 1>five separate tales around the central mystery. Those are all

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<v Speaker 1>peripheral characters when it comes down to it, because the

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<v Speaker 1>only story that matters here is Alex's story. In the

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<v Speaker 1>parallels between his ordeal with Aunt Gladys and the one

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<v Speaker 1>children dealing with alcoholic parents or drug addicted parents or

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<v Speaker 1>rageaholic workaholic. There's no shortage of parental distraction you can

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<v Speaker 1>plug into this scenario. But Gregor himself has alluded to

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<v Speaker 1>alcoholism at its route. Those parallels are largely unexplored in

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<v Speaker 1>popular entertainment, and those are the images and scenes that

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<v Speaker 1>keep turning over in my head. It's horrible to lose

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<v Speaker 1>a child, I know, and it's horrible to deal with

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<v Speaker 1>the fallout of tragedy in your community, especially when there's

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<v Speaker 1>a mystery at the center of it. But it's so

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<v Speaker 1>much worse for that child trapped with a monster, compelled

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<v Speaker 1>to do its bidding and be forced into silence above all,

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<v Speaker 1>suffering alone. God damn it, that's fucking horrible. Piggybacking off

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<v Speaker 1>of Paul Waller's podcast A Year in Horror for a

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<v Speaker 1>second here, Paul mentioned on his show that Creiger offered

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<v Speaker 1>Amy Madigan two backstories for on Gladys. One she was

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<v Speaker 1>in fact the distant relative who, in the intervening years

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<v Speaker 1>since last they'd encountered her, had found black magic and

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<v Speaker 1>become a witch. Or she was never human to begin with,

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<v Speaker 1>just a demon inside a withered human suit. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>know which one Amy Madigan chose. We don't know which

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<v Speaker 1>one Craiger had in mind, which I love. I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's in between. I think she's human, but I think

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<v Speaker 1>she's impossibly old and has been pulling this I'm your

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<v Speaker 1>long lost relative act for decades, if not centuries. But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't suppose any of that matters, because they've already

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<v Speaker 1>announced a prequel to Weapons, and that fills me with

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<v Speaker 1>as much dread as some of the scenes in it

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<v Speaker 1>look so far. Cregger's has shown remarkable restraint and thoughtfulness,

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<v Speaker 1>so I shouldn't doubt his intentions with a prequel. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just that prequels tend to be exposition machines for films

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<v Speaker 1>that definitely avoided such clumsiness. Oh that's why he said that,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh it's really a ghost. No answer is scarier than

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<v Speaker 1>no answer, yadeg. Weapons The movie has stayed with me

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<v Speaker 1>on a lot of levels, but it's the finale that

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<v Speaker 1>really grabbed me by the lapels. The sight of children

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<v Speaker 1>previously hypnotized and fed upon by a shriveled old crone

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<v Speaker 1>who's using an arcane system of outdated beliefs and powers

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<v Speaker 1>over them, chasing her down and tearing her apart was

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<v Speaker 1>more than cathartic. It was joyful. It was fucking hopeful.

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<v Speaker 1>There actual end of social commentary and end of this

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<v Speaker 1>brief but also weird episode of the Roundup. I'm always

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<v Speaker 1>around if you want to talk about this subject or

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<v Speaker 1>any subject, really, check the show notes on Instagram. We

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<v Speaker 1>are at midnight underscore viewing Oh my God. Check out

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<v Speaker 1>our Instagram everybody. Paul Williams Rainbow Connection, Paul Williams Swan

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<v Speaker 1>from Phantom of the Paradise, Paul Williams, emmittt Ottero's jug

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<v Speaker 1>band Christmas. Paul Williams liked and commented and reposted one

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<v Speaker 1>of my posts, and it's one where I'm singing one

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<v Speaker 1>of his songs, So I now consider myself a singer

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<v Speaker 1>with Paul Williams seal of approval. Anyway, find us there

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<v Speaker 1>or hit me up on the email, or go to

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<v Speaker 1>the Patreon and buy Ripley a new bag of pork

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<v Speaker 1>medallion dog treats. Oh fuck, I said it out loud,

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<v Speaker 1>and now she's awake and staring well for a hungry

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<v Speaker 1>Ripley gene. I'm father Malone, see you on Friday. What

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<v Speaker 1>I have, no trees, no baseball game. Man in the

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<v Speaker 1>baseball and the pack ro for the skin and in

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<v Speaker 1>the brains of the baseball, gonna run a on the

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<v Speaker 1>fucking train on the baseball. Tell me to be fucking

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<v Speaker 1>on the jumble. And my mother so strong now to

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<v Speaker 1>paint so bad that my motherfucking horse a