1 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: All right, y'all, Hey, come on, this is knock off 2 00:00:10,599 --> 00:00:13,919 You so More with your host, doctor evangelist ko Rich, 3 00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:17,079 help you to admit what you feel in order to heal. 4 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 2: From those facts of narcissistic. 5 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: Amuse, because your feelings, dude, matters. How you are doing 6 00:00:54,719 --> 00:00:59,679 on this lovely Wednesday morning. This is doctor Rich would 7 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,880 not Abuse no More. Help you to admit what you 8 00:01:03,039 --> 00:01:08,680 feel in order to heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse, 9 00:01:08,799 --> 00:01:12,640 because your feelings do matter. 10 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 4: Yes they do. 11 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 3: But before we go on with today's podcast, I like 12 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,719 to invite you to vision us on our website at 13 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,480 www dot rc N A r C Abuse No More 14 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:26,359 dot net. That's www dot rc N A r C 15 00:01:26,599 --> 00:01:30,079 Abuse No More dot net. And on our website you 16 00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:33,959 will be able to find various inform information. 17 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,879 Speaker 2: We're gonna be actually adding on. 18 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:40,719 Speaker 3: To that because starting in actually we're gonna be starting 19 00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:44,280 this in about a year or so, we're gonna be 20 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:49,840 having zoom counseling Zoom counseling, and so if you want 21 00:01:49,879 --> 00:01:54,480 to be able to participate in or come you want 22 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,640 someone that can give you counsel, we're gonna have that 23 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,760 available by making appointments. 24 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,799 Speaker 2: V you zoom. 25 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,319 Speaker 3: So that's gonna be in the upcoming future, and then 26 00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:07,000 we're gonna have other things that's gonna be on the 27 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:12,120 website for us helping you to navigate and learn more 28 00:02:12,159 --> 00:02:18,879 about relationships, abuse, and different other things as it pertains 29 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,479 to your mental health. But before we go on with 30 00:02:23,599 --> 00:02:27,840 today's podcast, I want to read a chapter I mean, 31 00:02:27,879 --> 00:02:31,240 I'm sorry, averse a verse in the Bible, because we're 32 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:35,280 talking today about qualities of a good friend. 33 00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 2: Qualities of a good friend. 34 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:42,479 Speaker 3: Because before you get into a relationship with someone, you 35 00:02:42,599 --> 00:02:43,360 first need. 36 00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 2: To be friends. 37 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,199 Speaker 3: And if you're not a friends first, then something it 38 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,120 is probably gonna be wrong with that relationship. And so 39 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,919 you need to know that, hey, this person is a 40 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:59,719 good friend before you even get into that relationship and 41 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,840 so on. In John chapter fifteen and verse thirteen. That's 42 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,400 John fifteen and verse thirteen, it says great love has 43 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:11,360 no man than this to lay down one's life for 44 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,199 one's friends, and that means that that person is going 45 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,000 to be giving. Okay, when you give your life of someone, 46 00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:22,360 that's just the ultimate gift. Jesus gave his life for 47 00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:24,159 us so that we may have life and have it 48 00:03:24,199 --> 00:03:30,319 more abundantly. And therefore, when someone is self sacrificing truly 49 00:03:30,439 --> 00:03:33,599 in the sense not just looking apart, but truly in 50 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:38,759 the sense, that means that they're putting you even above themselves. 51 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,039 And so if you have two people in a relationship 52 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,919 that feels, you know, that is going the extra mile 53 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,919 and looking out for that other person, it's not. 54 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 2: Fifty to fifty, it's one hundred one hundred. That means 55 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,199 I'm giving you all of. 56 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:56,159 Speaker 3: Me, and you're giving me all of you, and therefore 57 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,879 that relationship is able to work. 58 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:00,719 Speaker 4: All right. 59 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 3: So today we're talking about excuse me, we're talking about 60 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:10,280 signs of a good friend, signs of a good friend 61 00:04:10,439 --> 00:04:12,000 or you in a good friendship. 62 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 2: And this is not just romantic. 63 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,399 Speaker 3: This is if you're in relationship with others whom you 64 00:04:18,439 --> 00:04:22,680 call friends. Now, I often classify people, put them in 65 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:29,319 different categories. Some friends, some people that I I I 66 00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:30,639 I I wouldn't call friend. 67 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: But they're good acquaintances. 68 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,959 Speaker 3: Okay, so you acquainted with them, you know them, you 69 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,160 all don't really hang out or whatever, but you you know, 70 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,319 they're just an acquaintance, all right. Then you have that 71 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,759 associate where you might do a lot of things with 72 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,519 this person, but you haven't really put them in a 73 00:04:46,639 --> 00:04:53,839 classification of a friend yet. Okay, so you're basically associates. 74 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,079 You're getting to know this person, you socialize with this person, 75 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:58,759 you talk to this person, so you. 76 00:04:58,759 --> 00:05:00,879 Speaker 2: Get getting to know this person. 77 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 3: And then I have the friend category where there's different 78 00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:08,560 types of people in that category. Okay, I have those 79 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,279 that when I say friends, mean well and they love 80 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,879 you and everything. But there are certain types of how 81 00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:17,720 my spiritual friends. Those are the ride and dies. Those 82 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:20,120 are the ones that I can call on and get 83 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,319 a prayer thrill. They're not gonna joke around in anything 84 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,079 and I say, hey, I need you to pray for me. 85 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,319 They're not gonna just say okay and then gone about 86 00:05:27,319 --> 00:05:30,920 their married way. They are gonna actually pray. Okay, They're 87 00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,480 gonna actually send a petition up to God for me 88 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,800 and intercede for me. Because you just never know everyone. 89 00:05:38,879 --> 00:05:41,279 You know, there's sometimes in life where you just need 90 00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:44,240 someone that you can pray with, someone that you can 91 00:05:44,319 --> 00:05:46,399 talk to. These are people that it's not gonna make 92 00:05:46,439 --> 00:05:48,240 the prayer session of God's obsession. 93 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: Okay. 94 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: They're gonna actually go to the Lord and pray on 95 00:05:53,079 --> 00:05:54,079 your behalf. 96 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 2: Okay. 97 00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:57,439 Speaker 3: So those those are those that are really good to 98 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:02,040 have excive me in a spiritual community. Then you have 99 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,639 those that or you know, they're friends, they're good friends, 100 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:10,720 but you know you can't they're not spiritually there. So 101 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,439 you wouldn't go to this person as you know, can 102 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:17,720 I can you pray for me or whatever because they're 103 00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:18,959 not spiritually there. 104 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 2: But in other ways they may be there. 105 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 3: You know, if you get sick and or you need, 106 00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:28,639 you know, they they're there to help you or whatever. 107 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:33,120 So and they're they're actually there for you. Then you 108 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:38,439 have those friends that or they mean well, but they 109 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,600 have loose lips and as we know, loose lips sink ships. 110 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 2: So they're not saying anything. 111 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 3: Negative about you, but you know, you don't go tell 112 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,360 them nothing because it. 113 00:06:46,319 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 2: Would be all in the street or whether. 114 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,199 Speaker 3: And so, so you have those type of friends too. 115 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,120 So I put you know, different people in different categories, 116 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:03,639 but most importantly in my life, Jesus is my best friend. 117 00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:06,879 But I thank God that He's given me people that 118 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,360 I can actually call friend and even you know, there's 119 00:07:11,399 --> 00:07:13,839 been times in my life when I haven't been so 120 00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:16,240 friendly and they still love me. 121 00:07:16,439 --> 00:07:20,079 Speaker 2: Okay, So you know, so you you you. 122 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 3: Want to have those that are in your life that 123 00:07:23,279 --> 00:07:27,079 will also tell you the truth. So Number one qualities 124 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:31,399 of a good friend. They they are real. They are 125 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,879 real because they're not gonna be fake. They're they're not 126 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:39,639 gonna be phony. They're going to be real with you, 127 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,040 and they're genuine people. I've been tell people, Hey, what 128 00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:46,439 you see with me is what you get, Okay, I 129 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,319 don't do fake. I'm not gonna be you know, smil 130 00:07:51,399 --> 00:07:53,839 enough in your face and then stabbing you in the back. 131 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 2: Okay. 132 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,399 Speaker 3: So I try my best to be the type of 133 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,879 friend that I want others to be to me. 134 00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 4: All right. 135 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,639 Speaker 2: So therefore they're gonna be real. 136 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 3: With you, and you don't have to worry about them 137 00:08:07,759 --> 00:08:10,360 being phony fake. You don't have to worry about them 138 00:08:10,399 --> 00:08:14,079 being in a room where people may be talking about 139 00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:17,560 you and then they're gonna be joining in, or they're 140 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,800 gonna probably leave a room or say something. But the 141 00:08:20,879 --> 00:08:24,800 thing is they are real. Number two, they are a 142 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,120 safe place for you to be real. So that means 143 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:32,919 that if you you know, we're not always at our best, okay, 144 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:38,480 And sometimes you could be stressed out, depressed, going through 145 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:42,559 some issues or whatever case may be, and they are 146 00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:45,000 a person or a place that you can you can 147 00:08:45,039 --> 00:08:47,240 feel like, you know what, I can talk to this person. 148 00:08:47,879 --> 00:08:50,960 I can be real with this person. This person's not 149 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,759 gonna judge me. Now, they gonna tell me right, but 150 00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:56,759 they're not gonna judge me. I feel like I can 151 00:08:56,799 --> 00:09:00,360 be safe and relax around this person and just my 152 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,200 natural self. It's not about any titles, it's not about 153 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:09,320 any degrees. It's not about you know, having the fanciest 154 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,240 home or whatever. 155 00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 2: I can just be me. 156 00:09:13,799 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 3: Everyone needs a friend like that number three. They make 157 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,759 time for you. They'll make time for. 158 00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:26,519 Speaker 2: You people who are people who. 159 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,039 Speaker 3: Are important to you, and even though you all may 160 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,200 have busy schedules at some point, they're gonna make time 161 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:32,559 for you. 162 00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:36,080 Speaker 2: If that's a text, Hey, how you doing. If that's 163 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,840 a call, Hey, I haven't heard your voice in a while. 164 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 3: If that's a message on messenger, Hey you know what's up. 165 00:09:44,639 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 2: I'm just checking in with you. I know we got 166 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,320 busy schedules, but I just want to take a moment 167 00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:51,000 just to say hi. 168 00:09:52,399 --> 00:09:57,159 Speaker 3: You know, they're gonna take some time with you, and 169 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,080 you may not see them in a while. 170 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,759 Speaker 2: You may not I even talk to them every month. 171 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,159 Speaker 3: Uh you you may not see them maybe or even 172 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,159 talk to them maybe once or twice a year, but 173 00:10:07,159 --> 00:10:10,679 they're gonna do something to reach out to you at 174 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,440 some point to say, you know what, I'm just thinking 175 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,080 about you. 176 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 2: I just you know, you just want to make time 177 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,159 for that person. 178 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 3: You might have the busiest schedule, but even if it's 179 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,919 just a note just to say that I'm thinking of you. 180 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 2: All Right, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll 181 00:10:28,759 --> 00:10:30,919 be back in just a moment. 182 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:44,399 Speaker 5: Sometimes I find myself a lord, No, I'm thinking about me. 183 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,799 Just a phone on hold the night will. 184 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 6: Call my dreams. 185 00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,279 Speaker 2: But your love came all myself. 186 00:11:00,279 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 7: I've been there too, trying to smalling of so boo. 187 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 8: Then you came and change my love. 188 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:17,519 Speaker 9: You now everybody feel brand new. 189 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 2: You come, You make people. You're a fire burning in 190 00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:28,039 my soul. 191 00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 9: No long time an I've found my pel. 192 00:11:34,399 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 2: You are my family, my joy, my old. 193 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 5: Every hearpy says your name. 194 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 10: You turned my lousis in a game. 195 00:11:46,519 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 4: Your name. 196 00:11:47,399 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 5: It's a less pain. 197 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,519 Speaker 8: You're a floes through. 198 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:59,279 Speaker 9: I'm grateful for every day we share my reason. 199 00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:02,039 Speaker 4: Together. 200 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 5: We bride that they can't tear the bond. 201 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 9: We built they you come be me? 202 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 3: You make people lord of fire burning in that? 203 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 4: No long good on me? 204 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 6: I found my fool. 205 00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 8: You are my family, not joy, my own. Can you 206 00:12:37,399 --> 00:12:40,200 make thople the lord. 207 00:12:40,039 --> 00:12:43,159 Speaker 5: Of fire burning in mass? 208 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 4: So no long on me. 209 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 9: I've found my home. You are my family, my joy, 210 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,320 my own. 211 00:12:55,919 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 2: Come you he me? You don't make me who you're 212 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,360 the fire by my soul? 213 00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 3: No longer. 214 00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:34,639 Speaker 8: Only I found my home. You are my family, my joy, 215 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:35,840 my own. 216 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 6: You com. 217 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,639 Speaker 2: You complete me? And they did have a name right there. 218 00:13:49,279 --> 00:13:55,879 Speaker 3: Okay, so we're talking about friendships and knowing that you 219 00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:58,480 got a good friend or being a good friend to 220 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:03,320 someone Number four, they like you for you listen and 221 00:14:04,039 --> 00:14:09,960 listen real good. And so you have people that like 222 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,600 what you can do for them, but they don't really 223 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,759 like you. You can have someone that has all the 224 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:23,120 money in the world and they might have what people 225 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,039 may consider a lot of friends. But let that same 226 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,240 person get broke and then you a be able to 227 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,799 find out who your real friends are. Someone that may 228 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,519 be up and about and they're at the top of 229 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:39,399 their game, but then they get sick and you will 230 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,440 find out who your real friends are. You may somebody 231 00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:46,399 that may be popular in sports or whatever, but then 232 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,240 as soon as they have an injury, then all the 233 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,840 fans go away and you will find out. 234 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:56,399 Speaker 2: Who your real friends are. So they like you for you. 235 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 3: And this is so important. Have a genuine person even 236 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:09,159 when you're in a dating relationship. It's not about uh 237 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,480 uh for as what you can do for. 238 00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 2: Them all the time. 239 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 3: It's basically you know what you do for one another, okay, 240 00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:24,240 And so I'm not saying that there's no particular standards 241 00:15:24,279 --> 00:15:27,919 that we're to have, but that person really loves you 242 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,919 and likes you for you. Number five, you can trust them. 243 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,440 This person doesn't lie to you. This person doesn't stab 244 00:15:37,559 --> 00:15:40,279 you in the back. This person isn't jealous of you. 245 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,360 This person isn't envious of you. You can trust them. 246 00:15:44,799 --> 00:15:49,039 This person when you when you when you subceee the life, 247 00:15:49,399 --> 00:15:53,399 they're your biggest cheerleader, and even when you don't, they're 248 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,519 there to support you. And so you can actually trust 249 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,399 them and can talk to them. And the thing is 250 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,639 is that when you when you have someone that you 251 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,039 can trust, that means that they're not gonna go and 252 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,759 tell everybody what you said. 253 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:13,759 Speaker 2: It stops with them. This is a good friend. Number six, 254 00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:18,759 They're approachable. They're approachable. 255 00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:23,879 Speaker 3: It's not fun to be around somebody who acts like 256 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,440 they're above you, act like you beneath them. 257 00:16:27,799 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 2: You want somebody again. This goes back to being real. 258 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 3: Someone that doesn't try to hurt your feelings, someone that 259 00:16:36,039 --> 00:16:40,200 will be honest. But then also somebody that will apologize 260 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,559 and say, hey, I'm wrong, I'm sorry, Please forgive me. 261 00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:47,840 You know, someone that's genuine, someone that's not going to 262 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,360 intentionally do anything to hurt you. 263 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 2: They're approachable. Number seven. They show up. 264 00:16:57,879 --> 00:17:01,679 Speaker 3: You know, it's good to have someone that shows up 265 00:17:01,799 --> 00:17:08,119 for birthdays or celebrations or you know, good times, bad times. 266 00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 2: I remember not well, it's been a year ago, but 267 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,880 I was telling someone I was like one thing a 268 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:15,519 friend of mine. 269 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:19,160 Speaker 3: One thing that I like about my friend is that 270 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:24,400 she is somebody that you can really depend on. She's 271 00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:27,440 you know, if you having some event or whatever, she 272 00:17:27,799 --> 00:17:32,240 is always you know, if she can, she will always show. 273 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:36,039 Speaker 2: Up to support you. And I've always loved that about her. 274 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,200 She's not one that will you know, be jealous or 275 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:44,119 hating or anything like that. She supports you. 276 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 3: And so we all need friends that will support us 277 00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,599 and we want to be that type of person for 278 00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:56,759 other people. If they're getting a degree and they graduated, 279 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:57,680 they support you. 280 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,279 Speaker 2: If you are. 281 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 3: Taking on a task and you're trying to succee, they 282 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,559 will support you. If you get that promotion, they're gonna 283 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,359 support you. They gonna support you in the good times 284 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,640 and be there when things are not so good. If 285 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:19,319 you have you lose your job, they're gonna be there 286 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,359 to try to make it better for you. They may 287 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,640 not be able to fix it, but they're gonna be. 288 00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:25,920 Speaker 2: There all right. 289 00:18:26,079 --> 00:18:32,880 Speaker 3: Number eight, They are not negative. You know, negative energy 290 00:18:33,039 --> 00:18:35,119 can suck the life out of a room. 291 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 2: Okay. 292 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 3: And so when you have a good friend, any type 293 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,039 of criticism is gonna be constructive. 294 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:43,799 Speaker 2: Okay. 295 00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 3: So that's the difference between a good friend and a 296 00:18:46,599 --> 00:18:49,200 not so good friend. Good friends are gonna give you 297 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:50,759 constructive criticism. 298 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:51,759 Speaker 2: If that means that. 299 00:18:51,799 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 3: It's gonna be if they say anything, it's gonna actually 300 00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:59,640 be for your empowerment, not to belittle you, not to 301 00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:01,880 be value you, not to demean you. 302 00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:05,279 Speaker 2: It's going to beat for your betterment. Okay. 303 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,519 Speaker 3: So good friends will be honest with you and they're 304 00:19:09,599 --> 00:19:12,119 not gonna be negative. They're gonna just be honest and 305 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,400 frank with you. Hey, you know, you might pick up 306 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,440 an outfit and it might be it might not be 307 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,160 flattering to you, and they be like, no, girl, you can't. 308 00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 2: You know, you can't wear that outfit. 309 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:26,160 Speaker 3: Put that back of the rack. But you need those 310 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,400 type of people in your life that it's gonna be positive. 311 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,480 But they're gonna be honest with you and the ups 312 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:35,640 and downs. And the thing is when you're around them, 313 00:19:35,839 --> 00:19:39,599 just talking to them or being around them feels good. 314 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:40,759 Speaker 2: All right. 315 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:45,480 Speaker 3: Number nine, They're just good people all the way around. 316 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:50,279 You know, you have some people that are just just 317 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,519 good people to be around. And I love being around 318 00:19:53,599 --> 00:20:00,160 people that are godly, godly individuals, people that you know, 319 00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:03,839 have a relationship with God. Because let me just say this, 320 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,240 if someone has a genuine relationship with God, they're gonna 321 00:20:08,279 --> 00:20:11,640 watch how they treat you. And that's a difference, the 322 00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:14,400 difference between the real and the faith. If they are 323 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:18,440 have a really good relationship with God, that means that 324 00:20:18,559 --> 00:20:21,599 they got a conscience, and that means they're gonna listen 325 00:20:21,799 --> 00:20:24,119 to God and they're not gonna mistreat you. 326 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 2: They're not gonna do harm to you. 327 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:32,799 Speaker 3: Rather it's physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, whatever else, they're going 328 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,599 to have God as they're here. I'm just gonna say 329 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,640 this for us that are Christians, is that you never 330 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,720 want to pair up with anyone, especially if you're talking 331 00:20:42,799 --> 00:20:45,400 about dating in marriage. You never wanna pair up with 332 00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:50,279 anyone that does not have a genuine relationship with God. 333 00:20:50,759 --> 00:20:53,640 You have a lot of people that are good church attenders, 334 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,640 but they don't have a genuine relationship with God. And 335 00:20:59,079 --> 00:21:00,960 what I mean by that, you know, because you have 336 00:21:01,039 --> 00:21:03,079 to be very careful. And this is why it's so 337 00:21:03,519 --> 00:21:10,599 important to make sure that you talk to God about 338 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,480 who you are going to be in relationship with, Okay, 339 00:21:14,599 --> 00:21:18,160 because you just don't want to just be in relationship 340 00:21:18,559 --> 00:21:23,279 with anyone, all right, So make sure that you talk 341 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,240 to God about anyone that you are even whether it's 342 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,440 a friendship or a mance or whatever. Make sure you 343 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,279 talk to God about who that person is. We're going 344 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,079 to take another quick break and we'll be back in 345 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:36,920 just a. 346 00:21:37,079 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 9: Moment, said the names areas as When. 347 00:22:00,799 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 4: And I felt so fair watching another walk or between 348 00:22:05,799 --> 00:22:09,960 the battles, one twenty fives would come around. 349 00:22:10,519 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 8: I was tired away saddle the plain, try to call 350 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:20,039 him love back in from names. But Heaven was working 351 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,039 behind the. 352 00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 4: Scenes, even when it didn't feel like anything. Every closer, 353 00:22:26,839 --> 00:22:32,279 every tear or I cried, every mine, and I didn't understand. 354 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 6: You protected my heart answer, preparing me for your bad 355 00:22:39,519 --> 00:22:46,200 plane gods back for it's for the wall. 356 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 3: It means for a moment holding true. 357 00:22:51,759 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 9: Where I finally meet you and you every delady. 358 00:22:56,079 --> 00:22:57,039 Speaker 8: Had a reason. 359 00:22:57,519 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 4: Every day, every season had a kiss of bread, kiss 360 00:23:01,559 --> 00:23:02,039 of grace. 361 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,839 Speaker 2: God, Hell, let's bad for these. 362 00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:09,599 Speaker 8: For this kind of. 363 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,039 Speaker 9: At this perfect place. 364 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,599 Speaker 8: We must survived. We could have broken stone wrong terms 365 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,440 from the lost ground. 366 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 6: If we met sooner, we might have failed. 367 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 8: But she knew our hearts were already as you. 368 00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 7: Would have suddenly taught us to pretty, taught us patience, 369 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:40,079 to us face when our past cross face to face. 370 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:43,599 Speaker 8: Swee to recognize your fingerprint. 371 00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 2: How see why it took so? 372 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 5: Why are you sit away with a big now thing? 373 00:23:51,519 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 6: You were making my rooms? So there's a lett wouldn't 374 00:23:57,319 --> 00:24:06,759 burn out? Tells the word for love that in quin. 375 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:12,440 Speaker 10: For a bonsal in truth with you at the center, 376 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:18,400 to whether retine turned in the prayer every. 377 00:24:18,279 --> 00:24:20,799 Speaker 8: Day now makesy. 378 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 10: Say he spy for this kind of love. 379 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 4: Heaven. Since if I met you before the heeling, I 380 00:24:34,279 --> 00:24:36,759 would have you in call me. 381 00:24:37,319 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 9: But God rebuild me peace baby, so I could love 382 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:43,799 you faithfully. 383 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,599 Speaker 8: He didn't mess out. 384 00:24:45,839 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 6: We didn't lose time. 385 00:24:47,559 --> 00:24:51,079 Speaker 4: We would be in shame by the divide time. 386 00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:56,799 Speaker 5: Every step will you tell you Max because. 387 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,200 Speaker 6: God this mold. 388 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:09,839 Speaker 8: My guys, but lothing now never question him again on 389 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,200 it because what he gives his worth the way he's way, 390 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:19,519 and he's timing always. When I thank you Lord for 391 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,319 every no, every door you what in. 392 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 6: All be only Lord, God held spend. 393 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:38,400 Speaker 8: Now I knows choose and joy so lose had God 394 00:25:38,599 --> 00:25:43,000 is guarding. It's worth the doll He's not denying. 395 00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 6: He's prepar love. 396 00:25:46,720 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 2: That so love sh and that is God held us 397 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,960 back for this. 398 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:14,519 Speaker 3: All right, So we're talking about signs of a good friendship. 399 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,119 One of the signs that you are in a good 400 00:26:19,279 --> 00:26:23,240 friendship is when you're able to respect one another's boundaries. 401 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,799 Speaker 2: Respect one another's boundaries. 402 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,119 Speaker 3: That means that even in the best of friendships, we 403 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:34,359 all have some boundaries that you know that's knows or whatever. 404 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:40,160 For example, friends you know, those that I may call 405 00:26:40,279 --> 00:26:43,119 friends know that I'm not a club person anymore. 406 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,640 Speaker 2: Okay, I don't go to the club. I don't done 407 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,319 it in years. 408 00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 3: Yes, and so they when you try to get you 409 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:56,599 to do things that is not particularly or that you 410 00:26:56,759 --> 00:27:00,480 go that goes against your beliefs and goes against your value, 411 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,839 So they will respect your privacy. 412 00:27:04,799 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 2: Another thing, when you're when you're when you're dealing with friends, Uh, there, 413 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,519 you don't. You don't want those. 414 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:16,799 Speaker 3: Type of people in your life that is always constant drama. Okay, 415 00:27:18,079 --> 00:27:21,680 the relationship never feels safe and never feels stable. They're 416 00:27:21,799 --> 00:27:25,880 they're You want people that's low maintenance, high quality. Uh, 417 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:32,319 quality over quantity. Okay, quality over quantity. And many of 418 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,759 us learning as we get older that we don't have 419 00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:37,680 to have a large circle. Okay, just one of two friends, 420 00:27:37,759 --> 00:27:40,119 it doesn't matter. You don't have to have a large circle. 421 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:47,799 You want quality over quantity. Another thing is you want 422 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,640 someone who listens, because communication is. 423 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,839 Speaker 2: Key to a good relationship. 424 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 3: If you're if you're in a relationship, or you're you're 425 00:27:59,039 --> 00:28:01,000 wanting to be in a relationship someone or you're just 426 00:28:01,079 --> 00:28:04,000 a friendship. Because as I mentioned earlier when we first 427 00:28:04,039 --> 00:28:09,519 started is and before you jump into a intimate relationship, 428 00:28:09,599 --> 00:28:12,720 and I mean what I mean by that is dating 429 00:28:13,559 --> 00:28:17,079 moving to marriage, because as a Christian, I cannot promote 430 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,720 premarital sex. Okay, so when I mean intimacy, I'm not 431 00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:25,880 talking about sexual acts, but I'm talking about going beyond 432 00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:29,279 just being the friends. So you're moving into Okay, we're dating, 433 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,359 moving to if you all move forward to thinking about marriage, 434 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:39,079 into that engagement and then beyond. You need someone that's 435 00:28:39,119 --> 00:28:43,359 a good a person that's a good listener, a good listener, 436 00:28:44,039 --> 00:28:49,680 someone that hears you listens, because it's not always about talking. 437 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,160 Sometimes you just need someone just to be there just 438 00:28:53,359 --> 00:28:58,319 to listen. Another thing when you are in a good 439 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:04,279 relationship is again that person is trustworthy and they're honest. 440 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,519 They're not going to do anything that's going to compromise 441 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:14,200 you all's friendship and trust. Compromising to trust does compromise 442 00:29:14,319 --> 00:29:17,960 the friendship. If the person lies to you, the person 443 00:29:18,079 --> 00:29:21,000 is not honest with you, you catch them and lies, 444 00:29:21,279 --> 00:29:26,880 and you you know this person just they just habitual liar, 445 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:31,279 then that means that you can't really trust that person, 446 00:29:31,599 --> 00:29:37,960 and therefore that without trust, your relationship crumbles. All right, 447 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:46,279 So you definitely want someone that is trustworthy. You know, 448 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:52,279 good friends are really really hard to come by, they 449 00:29:52,359 --> 00:29:57,319 really are. But last, but not least I want to mention, 450 00:29:57,599 --> 00:29:59,559 is they pursue you right back. 451 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,519 Speaker 2: That means that you're not the. 452 00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 3: Only one that's texting, You're not the only one that's inviting, 453 00:30:04,519 --> 00:30:07,519 You're not the only one that's checking in. They will 454 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,799 initiate the pursuit. They will invest in you, and I'm 455 00:30:12,839 --> 00:30:16,440 not talking about financial investment. I'm talking about invest their time. 456 00:30:17,119 --> 00:30:18,799 Speaker 2: They will try to. 457 00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 3: Build bridges and men fences. Build bridges and men fences. 458 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 2: What do I mean by that. 459 00:30:28,119 --> 00:30:31,039 Speaker 3: I mean they're gonna build a bridge to that relationship 460 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,920 so that both of you all can walk across, and 461 00:30:34,039 --> 00:30:38,440 they will mend fences when there's a disagreement or if 462 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,839 there's something that happens. 463 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,279 Speaker 2: They're gonna value. 464 00:30:41,039 --> 00:30:45,279 Speaker 3: That relationship to the extent that they will do what 465 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,519 they can to men fences. 466 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 2: If you have someone that does not care about ever 467 00:30:53,839 --> 00:30:55,279 mending fences. 468 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 3: Because you know, sometimes we have disagreements. Okay, sometimes we 469 00:30:58,319 --> 00:31:02,039 have disagreements with the person that we're friends with. But 470 00:31:02,759 --> 00:31:07,480 if someone is truly if someone truly values you, that 471 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,279 means that they're gonna do what they can to make 472 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,079 things right, and that means both parties are gonna put 473 00:31:14,119 --> 00:31:18,559 aside the pride and they're gonna be ministers of reconciliation. 474 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,519 It takes people to not be operating in pride in 475 00:31:23,839 --> 00:31:27,119 order for a relationship to build. 476 00:31:27,319 --> 00:31:28,279 Speaker 8: And to last. 477 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,799 Speaker 2: All Right, we are a body here. 478 00:31:32,079 --> 00:31:36,359 Speaker 3: I pray to today's podcast has been a blessing to you, 479 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:37,240 and that. 480 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,799 Speaker 2: You would know your feelings do matter. This is doctor 481 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,799 ko Rich until. 482 00:32:00,759 --> 00:32:04,559 Speaker 9: The persons 483 00:32:06,799 --> 00:32:25,319 Speaker 2: Asssssssss.