Speaker 1: Oh case, it's terrible. What happened feathers?
Speaker 2: What about him than my favorite type of pillows?
Speaker 1: No? Our pet cat?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: Forgot we had a pet cat?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did too until I found him under our bed dead.
Speaker 2: Has a doorknob, doornail?
Speaker 1: Both don't make sense.
Speaker 2: Well, it's been feeding him, neither of us.
Speaker 1: I think that's why he's so skinny and well also dead.
Oh good deducing, thanks, but I'm sad. If I remembered
we had him, I would have played with him more.
I would have bought him more toys. I would have
fed him. Yeah, that does seem like the most important one.
I wish I had more time to play with him.
Where is he in that shoe box? I think we
should bring him to the vet to get creepmated.
Speaker 2: Hold on, do you really wish you had another chance
with him? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I would do so many things differently, starting with giving
him food.
Speaker 2: What if I told you there was a way to bring.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about a pet cemetery?
Speaker 5: I'm talking about a pet cemetery.
Speaker 1: Seven Lamb Productions Present Cop Doctor Episode thirty two. Cemetery
spelled correctly. I don't know about this case. How do
you know it'll work.
Speaker 2: I don't, but it's worth a try.
Speaker 1: And you're sure cemetery is spelled wrong.
Speaker 2: Of course.
Speaker 6: The cop doctors were driving along a small gravel road.
Time had poor feathers in his shoe box, sitting.
Speaker 2: On his lap.
Speaker 1: Are we almost there?
Speaker 5: There's the house house. Yeah, there's someone we have to
talk to first.
Speaker 6: When they pulled up to the loan house at the
edge of the deep dark woods, Time in Case noticed
a man sitting on the front porch drinking a Schlitz
and smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 5: Let me do all the talking. Okay, shut up, Time,
I said, meet you all talking. Time nodded herman hoo, rare.
It's me Case, and this is my friend Time.
Speaker 4: Case.
Speaker 3: I haven't heard that name. And over three weeks. That's
because I operated on your appendix. Three weeks ago, I tried,
you married a beggar.
Speaker 5: That's what you wanted, That's what I needed, of course,
And you said you were so happy about your big
appendix that if I ever had a favor where an
animal linkne needed to be resurrected, that I should come
to you.
Speaker 3: Now's that time?
Speaker 2: Now? Is that time? I forgot? We had a cat?
Speaker 3: Ah, Yes, I too once had a cat, Winston Churchill,
named after my favorite fat politician.
Speaker 2: A cat is named Feathers. We want him back.
Speaker 3: Oh well, you do know that sometimes dead is better, Yeah.
Speaker 2: But sometimes alive is cool too. Sure? Yeah? Where is
this pet cemetery stile?
Speaker 3: I'm not robbed by goes all the way to the
Indian burial ground. You gotta climb all the way to
the top.
Speaker 2: And bury him deep, deep down.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I warn you, when it comes back, he
may not be the same.
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: I mean, as I say, your precious Feathers may come
back as cool as a cuecomer, may return to you
as the best pet any man could ask for. Also
come back a mean son of a gun. You could
also come back mentally retard it. There really isn't a
guidebook for this sort of thing, you know.
Speaker 5: But he'll still be Feathers, right, I'm me talking you,
shuty the fuck upy.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just want another chance to love him.
Speaker 3: His body will be the same, but his mind, his
mind could be something else. If you want another chance,
follow that that road and do what needs to be done.
Speaker 6: Time and Case nudded and took off down the road.
It reached the mound at midnight and begun to dig.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's creepy up here.
Speaker 2: Just keep digging so we can get the sever We.
Speaker 1: Really should have brought a shovel or at least a spade.
Speaker 5: Well, I thought herman would have something, and I forgot
to ask.
Speaker 6: An hour later and they finished.
Speaker 2: Who goes rocks over?
Speaker 6: They quickly made their can on top of the Time
he grave and Time made a sign.
Speaker 2: There.
Speaker 1: I made a sign. It says here lies Feathers, the
best little kiddy in the whole wide world. And I
spelt feathers and kitty wrong, so that way it looks
like a stupid child wrote it. Kids are so stupid,
they really are.
Speaker 2: God, let's get out of here.
Speaker 6: Time could not sleep, it toss and turn all night.
But around seven in the morning he had a noise.
Speaker 4: What uh.
Speaker 2: It was the door.
Speaker 6: Leathers had pushed his way into the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Feathers, Kase, wake up, it's Feathers.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, he lives again.
Speaker 6: They both ran over to the cat and hugged and
kissed him, which was kind of gross because hours ago
he was in the ground dead.
Speaker 5: He seems okay, right, Yeah, it does seems like a
normal everyday cat.
Speaker 6: Yes, A couple of days passed and everything seemed normal.
Speaker 1: Good Feathers. Yeah, I'm glad you're okay too.
Speaker 4: Men.
Speaker 1: Whoa what the did you just freaking talk?
Speaker 4: That's right now, I can talk, although I don't always
want to.
Speaker 1: No fucking way, case get in here.
Speaker 4: I'm a talking cat mare so what so?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: This is cool? I guess that makes you a cool cat.
Speaker 7: I don't need to be cool, man, I don't need
to live. I just want to live my life and
not be controlled by the fascist in DC.
Speaker 1: Maw, wait, what are you shouting? Yeah, listen to this, Feathers,
say something else, No, come on, say something boy?
Speaker 4: Oh did you just assume my gender? Man? What I'm
gender fluid? Really? No cat?
Speaker 2: What the hell? What's going on?
Speaker 1: I was just pinting feathers here and he started talking.
Speaker 4: That's right, we're vibing, ma'am. But I feel like taking
a nap, So.
Speaker 1: No more pets.
Speaker 4: No, I need a nap because I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2: Maw, exhausted from what You're a cat? You don't do anything, stop.
Speaker 7: Acting, sus I do all kinds of things, man. You
can't expect me to work all day. I need my
time off. It's called mental health.
Speaker 4: What is what I'm taking care of with my naps? Ma'am?
Now leave me alone.
Speaker 7: My anxiety is running high. And if you say one
more thing, am I just screaming?
Speaker 6: Man and wet Feathers walked out of the room.
Speaker 2: That was insane.
Speaker 1: Do you know what this means?
Speaker 2: Yes, he's mentally retarded.
Speaker 1: No case, he's gen Z?
Speaker 2: Is there a difference?
Speaker 1: Case? Now, that's not nice to the mentally disabled.
Speaker 7: You're right that, man, You better apologize.
Speaker 4: You're going to get canceled.
Speaker 5: Oh fuck yourself, Feathers, case, what are we going to do?
Get the cat carrier?
Speaker 6: That night, the cop doctor went back to Hermann's house.
Hermon was again sitting outside, drinking a bit and smoking
a cigarette.
Speaker 3: What are you two doing? Back so soon?
Speaker 1: Feathers came back, But he isn't remotely the same.
Speaker 3: I told you that may happen, But he doesn't even
act like a cat. What does he act like?
Speaker 5: Like a whiny gen Z bitch? Although I guess that's
kind of a double negative.
Speaker 4: You just just said, blou fam, I don't.
Speaker 3: Even know what the fuck you're talking about. I told
you anything could happen? Didn't you realize that?
Speaker 1: Sure? And I was ready for him to be slow,
or evil or even a dog, But this fucking this.
Speaker 3: Are you sure he's not Jenolfa as he said, skibbitty
or a phantom tax?
Speaker 1: What the no? I mean? Maybe I don't know. I
don't understand half the shit that's coming out of his mouth.
No cat, no feathers, for the last time, I'm not
wearing a hat. He keeps asking me that. Yeah, and
I think he wants to play poker.
Speaker 2: But he doesn't even have any cards.
Speaker 5: You don't even have any cards, your stupid cat fellas?
Speaker 3: What do you want me to do with him?
Speaker 1: Is there any way to fix him?
Speaker 3: Can you fix today's generation? No, exactly, I'm still trying
to figure out millennials.
Speaker 1: What do we do?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 3: Well, there's two options. One you bash him to death
with a brick and dismember him and scatter his remains
five different cemeteries, all on the same night.
Speaker 1: Uh, what's option to tell him that.
Speaker 3: You don't see race or gender and that you hate Fortnite?
Speaker 1: Hey, Feathers, I don't see racer gender and I hate Fortnite.
Speaker 6: And just like that, feathers hit exploded.
Speaker 1: WHOA, that was easy.
Speaker 3: You're welcome.
Speaker 2: We'll need to get a new cat carrier.
Speaker 1: Though only if we get another cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe hold off for a while.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Time, I'm really sorry things didn't work out.
Speaker 2: I know you'll miss him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like Herman Munster here says.
Speaker 6: Sometimes cop Doctors.
Speaker 1: Cop Doctors. Written by Robert M. Lamb, edited by Jose Carabaio,
starring Robert M. Lamb as Time and Jack Austen as
everyone else. Music provided by Kevin McLeod of incomptect dot com.
Additional tracks from various artists on pondfive dot com and
art list dot io. If you enjoy this podcast, don't
forget to rate and review and visit www dot seven
lamb dot com for more podcasts such as this one.
And we want to thank everyone who has donated on
our PayPal and our Patreon page. We appreciate the support.
Special shout out to seven Lamb patrons Brad McQuaid, Chris Williamson,
Corey Ireland and Bradley Williams. From everyone here at seven Lamb,
thank you. This has been a seven Lamb production.