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<v Speaker 1>Hello, friends from across the nation and around the world.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Martin and you are listening to Dad's Bedtime Stories,

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<v Speaker 1>of the podcast that takes listener ideas and turns them

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<v Speaker 1>into bedtime stories. Listener ideas like this one.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, my name is Owen from San Antonio, Texas, and

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<v Speaker 2>I would like to ask for a planet that everybody

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<v Speaker 2>rollerbladeses on. Thank you. I love your podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Owen, that is a wonderful idea, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>that's exactly what we're going to do today, and we'll

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<v Speaker 1>get onto it after a possible word from a possible sponsor.

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<v Speaker 1>Now it's time to close your eyes, get as comfy

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<v Speaker 1>as you can in that bed or wherever it is

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<v Speaker 1>you're hanging out right now, and imagine yourself doing what

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<v Speaker 1>the kid in the story does. You wake up on spaceship.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning, Spaceship says, good morning, you say, as you

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<v Speaker 1>stretch your arms and swing your legs over the side

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<v Speaker 1>of the bed. I believe I have discovered an interesting planet.

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<v Speaker 1>H what's so interesting about it? You ask, Well, primarily,

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<v Speaker 1>it is interesting because of the way the people of

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<v Speaker 1>the planet travel from place to place. Instead of using

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<v Speaker 1>a car or other reasonable vehicle. These people roller blade

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<v Speaker 1>everywhere the roller blade. I guess that seems cool. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>their entire society has been developed for the use of

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<v Speaker 1>roller blades. They roller blade down the street, into their houses,

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<v Speaker 1>and even on cross country road trips. How do they

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<v Speaker 1>go cross country on roller blades, you ask? Many of

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<v Speaker 1>them use electric assist blades, motorized roller blades capable of

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<v Speaker 1>travel at over one hundred kilometers or sixty miles per hour.

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<v Speaker 1>What that's insane. If they fell, they'd be like hurt

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<v Speaker 1>really badly. Yes, that is correct. Road rash is also

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<v Speaker 1>a major part of their society. Okay, well, I guess

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<v Speaker 1>we should go check it out. I have taken the

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<v Speaker 1>liberty of setting a course. You leave your bedroom on

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<v Speaker 1>the spaceship and head out to the main area. You

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<v Speaker 1>walk over to the viewscreen where you see spaceship traveling

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<v Speaker 1>at super hyper drive. You quickly grab some breakfast from

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<v Speaker 1>your little breakfast replicator, beat it up, and before you

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<v Speaker 1>know it, spaceship has arrived at an earth like planet.

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<v Speaker 1>You sit down in the control chair and grab a

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<v Speaker 1>hold of the steering wheel. You press forward on the

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<v Speaker 1>throttle and blast down into the atmosphere. You drop below

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<v Speaker 1>the clouds to reveal well a planet with a whole

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of cities and roads and infrastructure. It honestly looks

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<v Speaker 1>like Earth at first, until you get a little bit lower,

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<v Speaker 1>when you can make out how all of the people

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<v Speaker 1>are moving around, and sure enough, they're going from place

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<v Speaker 1>to place on roller blades. The inner states are full

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<v Speaker 1>of people and sometimes their children, blasting down the highway

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<v Speaker 1>on what look to be well rocket powered roller blades.

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<v Speaker 1>It looks wildly dangerous they're wearing helmets, but still when

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<v Speaker 1>you get closer to the cities, things seem a little

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<v Speaker 1>more relaxed. There's still main roads full of roller bladers

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<v Speaker 1>traveling at pretty high speeds, but there's also ramps everywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>The entire place looks like a gigantic skate park. People

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<v Speaker 1>moving from building to building on their roller blades, some

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<v Speaker 1>going at a nice, you know, slow and relaxed pace,

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<v Speaker 1>others traveling down skateboard like ramps and blasting over jumps

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<v Speaker 1>performing cool tricks, and others on their rocket powered blades,

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<v Speaker 1>blasting from place to place in the city at incredible speed.

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<v Speaker 1>You find a little area of grass in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of one of the main cities, surrounded by all sorts

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<v Speaker 1>of skateboard or well roller blade ramps. In this case,

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<v Speaker 1>you carefully land the ship on the open patch of grass.

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<v Speaker 1>The back door opens up and you step outside. This

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<v Speaker 1>place is amazing, you say, as you walk across the

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<v Speaker 1>grass to where some of the rollerbladers are roller blading.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, what are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>One of them says and points in your direction. Others

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<v Speaker 1>seem to notice the pointing, and they also turned towards you.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone looks confused.

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<v Speaker 3>Why why do you have no wheels?

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<v Speaker 1>The boy says. You look down at your feet and

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<v Speaker 1>then back at the kid.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, what do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>You move but you.

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<v Speaker 3>Have no wheels? How you do this?

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<v Speaker 1>You mean walking? You just put one foot in front

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<v Speaker 1>of the other until you get where you're going. Everyone

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<v Speaker 1>around you gasps and shock. This is very irregular. You

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<v Speaker 1>must not let the police see you do this. Do

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<v Speaker 1>you not have your roller blades? Oh? Yeah, my roller blades.

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<v Speaker 1>I just left them in the spaceship. Just just one second,

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<v Speaker 1>you walk back into the ship. Spaceship, I think I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna need some roller blades. Pretty quickly I realized the

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<v Speaker 1>same thing. Here, A large robotic arm shoots out of

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<v Speaker 1>one of the walls. Carrying two very high tech looking

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<v Speaker 1>roller blades. I have specially designed these for this planet.

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<v Speaker 1>They are powered by a nuclear diamond battery and capable

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<v Speaker 1>of reaching speeds up to one hundred and fifty kilometers

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<v Speaker 1>per hour. Oh you say, as you grab the roller blades,

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<v Speaker 1>open up the little snaps on the side and slip

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<v Speaker 1>your feed into them. How do I operate them? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you can operate them manually by using a sort of

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<v Speaker 1>skating motion, or if you wish to engage the electric drive,

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<v Speaker 1>all you have to do is think about engaging the

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<v Speaker 1>electric drive, much like flying in your spacesuit. Ow cool.

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<v Speaker 1>You snap them on and tighten them up. Would you

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<v Speaker 1>like a refresher on rollerblading techniques? Spaceship asks, Uh, yeah, probably,

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<v Speaker 1>you already know a little bit about roller blading, but well,

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<v Speaker 1>a refresher could never hurt. A little helmet drops from

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<v Speaker 1>the ceiling, You place it on your head, close your eyes,

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<v Speaker 1>and almost instantly, memories start to shoot into your brain.

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<v Speaker 1>Memories of roller blading down a nice little path, memories

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<v Speaker 1>of roller blading inside a crazy skate park, going up

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<v Speaker 1>and down a halfpipe, performing spins and flips, and all

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<v Speaker 1>sorts of different maneuvers. When the memories stop, you take

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<v Speaker 1>off the helmet and well, you feel like you could

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<v Speaker 1>do just about anything on roller blades. I have also

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<v Speaker 1>equipped your watches safety mode.

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<v Speaker 4>If you were to.

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<v Speaker 1>Fall suddenly in any situation, an anti gravity mode will

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<v Speaker 1>be initiated, stopping you from slamming into the ground or

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<v Speaker 1>any other object. Uh cool, you say, You head out

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<v Speaker 1>of the ship on your roller blades. You rolled down

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<v Speaker 1>the ramp and straight onto the grass. It isn't easy

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<v Speaker 1>to roller blade on grass, but you initiate the electric

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<v Speaker 1>engines and make your way over to one of the paths.

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<v Speaker 1>Luckily for you, there's paths just about everywhere here. The

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<v Speaker 1>same kid who had pointed at you before for not

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<v Speaker 1>wearing roller blades rolls over towards you. Well, I see

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<v Speaker 1>you found yourself your roller blades. You have to be

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<v Speaker 1>careful around here. If people see you without them, they'll

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<v Speaker 1>ask questions. A sorry, truth is, I'm not actually from

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<v Speaker 1>this planet. I'm from a planet where people walk places

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes other times they drive or you know, all sorts

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<v Speaker 1>of other types of transportation. But you know what I mean, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I do. Well, then, welcome to a planet

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<v Speaker 1>where everybody roller blades. Legend has it. We used to

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<v Speaker 1>have other types of well transportation around here, but slowly

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<v Speaker 1>the government switched to only roller blades. Why did they

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<v Speaker 1>do that, you ask? Well, the official reason is because

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<v Speaker 1>it's awesome and also for environmental reasons, but many of

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<v Speaker 1>us highly suspect that our largest roller blade manufacturer might

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<v Speaker 1>have well influenced the government with a little bit of money. Really,

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<v Speaker 1>you mean somebody bribed the government into making roller blading

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<v Speaker 1>the only form of transportation on this planet. Ah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure that's how it happened. But well, because

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<v Speaker 1>it's awesome, nobody really complained. Here. Follow me, I'll show

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<v Speaker 1>you around. Well. Name's Blade by the way, the kid says,

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<v Speaker 1>reaching his hand out for a handshake. You shake his hand.

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<v Speaker 1>He looks to be about your age, wearing a high

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<v Speaker 1>tech looking helmet and some high tech looking roller blades.

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<v Speaker 1>He turns away from you and blasts down a ramp

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<v Speaker 1>and off a jump, where he performs a perfect backflip

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<v Speaker 1>before landing on the other side. You shrug your shoulders

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<v Speaker 1>and decide to follow. Using your mind, you initiate the

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<v Speaker 1>electric mode in the roller blades and begin to roll forward.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels a little weird at first for your feet

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<v Speaker 1>to be kind of pulling you, but you get used

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<v Speaker 1>to it quickly. As you fly down the ramp and

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<v Speaker 1>up the gigantic jump on the other side, instinctively you

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<v Speaker 1>perform a perfect backflip before landing on the other side.

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<v Speaker 1>As well. You follow the kid down the ramp through

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<v Speaker 1>a little town like area and out into the city.

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<v Speaker 1>As you can see, when we get everywhere on these things,

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<v Speaker 1>blade says as he jumps over another gigantic gap and

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<v Speaker 1>lands on the other side with ease. You increase your

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<v Speaker 1>speed and blast over easily as well. Now the whole

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<v Speaker 1>place has been set up for roller blades. You can

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<v Speaker 1>skate right into any store. There's ramps pretty much everywhere

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<v Speaker 1>you need to go. And well, of course there's a

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<v Speaker 1>small division between travel blading and roller blading itself. If

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<v Speaker 1>you want to go on the main roads, you have

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<v Speaker 1>to have blades capable of reaching highway speeds at minimum

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<v Speaker 1>eighty kilometers an hour. Oh, can your roller blades do that?

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<v Speaker 1>Of course they can. Want to see what about you?

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<v Speaker 1>Are those things capable? I think? So a blade comes

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<v Speaker 1>to a stop beside the road and rolls over onto

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<v Speaker 1>the thing all right, let's merge with traffic. Three two,

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<v Speaker 1>one go. He blasts onto the road and merges with

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<v Speaker 1>other roller bladers, some moving at incredible speed with what

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<v Speaker 1>look to be electric roller blades, and others, as you

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<v Speaker 1>had seen before, wearing what looked like rocket powered roller blades.

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<v Speaker 1>You quickly increase the speed of your blades to blast

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<v Speaker 1>through the city quickly enough, and before long you're going

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<v Speaker 1>in excess of one hundred kilometers an hour about sixty miles.

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<v Speaker 1>You blast around a long, gradual bend and not a

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<v Speaker 1>gigantic ramp, onto a huge overpass. The overpass moves through

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<v Speaker 1>the city above most of it. You fly past huge

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<v Speaker 1>skyscrapers and all kinds of different on ramps and off

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<v Speaker 1>ramps to different parts of the city. You watch as

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<v Speaker 1>other roller bladers merge onto the highway, some of them

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<v Speaker 1>pushing smaller children in what look like strollers. You can't

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<v Speaker 1>imagine it's the safest way to get kids around, but

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<v Speaker 1>it does look pretty cool. Hey, uh, follow me. There's

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<v Speaker 1>actually a really cool competition going on today. We can

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<v Speaker 1>go check it out. You blast to the right down

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<v Speaker 1>and off ramp and straight on to another highway, one

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<v Speaker 1>that leads out of the city. The skyscrapers disappear as

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<v Speaker 1>you fly by on the road, and slowly you start

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<v Speaker 1>to see well normal sized houses and must be the

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<v Speaker 1>suburbs or something like that. Soon the houses disappear and

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<v Speaker 1>are replaced by fields, fields being farmed by farmers who,

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<v Speaker 1>instead of driving tractors, seem to be wearing gigantic, oversized

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<v Speaker 1>roller blades that somehow push across fields and hull plows

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<v Speaker 1>and things behind them. It's wildly odd and seems incredibly inefficient,

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<v Speaker 1>but huh, it is what it is. Soon you see

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<v Speaker 1>a large mountain in the distance. Blade gestures for you

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<v Speaker 1>to follow them, so you do. You head off the

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<v Speaker 1>off ramp up a little mountain road that starts winding

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<v Speaker 1>up the huge mountain, around and around and around until

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<v Speaker 1>you arrive at the top, where a large crowd of

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<v Speaker 1>people are gathered and some guy with a microphone is

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<v Speaker 1>announcing things. Well, come, ladies and gentlemen, two a monthly

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<v Speaker 1>downhill roller blating competition. As you know, contestants will be

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<v Speaker 1>competing for this giant pile of gold. He points over

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<v Speaker 1>to a pile of gold, gold and jewels shining in

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<v Speaker 1>the sunshine like some sort of pirate treasure. You all

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<v Speaker 1>know the rules, but of course we've made it more

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<v Speaker 1>interesting than ever. We've added more jumps, more gaps, and

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<v Speaker 1>more deadly traps than ever, and as always, were sponsored

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<v Speaker 1>by roller Wheels. The only roller blades officially approved by

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<v Speaker 1>the government. Use roller wheels or be arrested. That seems

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<v Speaker 1>strange to you. Ah, are you only allowed to use

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<v Speaker 1>one type of roller blade here? You ask? Ah? Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you mean roller wheels. Yeah, that's the giant roller blade

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<v Speaker 1>company I was talking to you about. Uh. There used

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<v Speaker 1>to be competitors, but nowadays roller wheels are the only

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<v Speaker 1>ones you're allowed to buy. That is what you're wearing. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>You look down at your roller blades and back up

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<v Speaker 1>at blade. I don't think mine have a brand name.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly overhearing the competition, a police officer on his own

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<v Speaker 1>roller blades glides in. Excuse me, sir, did you just

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<v Speaker 1>say that your roller blades are not, in fact roller

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<v Speaker 1>Wheel brand roller blades. I believe you'll have to come

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<v Speaker 1>with me, sir. You quickly back away from the officer. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>back off. Just because I'm not wearing roller Wheel brand

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<v Speaker 1>roller blades doesn't mean that I couldn't well roller blade

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<v Speaker 1>better than any of you. The whole crowd gasps, uh, sir,

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<v Speaker 1>it is highly illegal to be using anything but roller

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<v Speaker 1>Wheel brand roller blades. I'm gonna have to take you

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<v Speaker 1>in for some questioning and possible retraining. I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere with you, you say an Almost immediately, spaceship appears overhead.

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<v Speaker 1>Large freeze rays shoot out of it and point down

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<v Speaker 1>at the crowd. Everybody gasps again, looking up at the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Then the announcer speaks, Oh, ladies and gentlemen, let's calm

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<v Speaker 1>down a bit here. Ah, Perhaps we don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>be too hasty. It's clear from the giant menacing spaceship

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<v Speaker 1>flying overhead that this particular person isn't from around here

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<v Speaker 1>and may just not have been aware of the superior

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<v Speaker 1>quality of roller wheels the official sponsor of this competition, Now,

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<v Speaker 1>why don't we show him how good they are instead

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<v Speaker 1>of arresting him. Let's turn this little thing into a

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<v Speaker 1>bit of a competition. If the young person here will accept,

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<v Speaker 1>you simply shrug your shoulders in response, very good, Then

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<v Speaker 1>come on up here and join the competition, young one.

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<v Speaker 1>If you win, we will allow you to wear your

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<v Speaker 1>off brand roller blades anywhere on the planet any time

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<v Speaker 1>you wish. However, if you lose, you must promise to

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<v Speaker 1>only wear roller wheels. And if you're accidentally unlive from

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<v Speaker 1>this absolutely dangerous and crazy competition, well it shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 3>Be a problem.

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<v Speaker 1>That worries you for a second until you remember the

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<v Speaker 1>whole well anti gravity device that's in your watch. You

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<v Speaker 1>probably can't get hurt in any way on this particular competition.

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<v Speaker 1>So you skate over to the starting line and look

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<v Speaker 1>left and right at your competitors, all of them wearing

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<v Speaker 1>roller wheels brand roller skates, helmets and full leather outfits,

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<v Speaker 1>looking completely ready for a crazy down hill race. You

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<v Speaker 1>look down the hill itself too, a gigantic skateboard ramp

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<v Speaker 1>that flies off the side of the cliff and heads

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<v Speaker 1>directly towards an enormous jump before wrapping around and spirals

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<v Speaker 1>heading down the mountain. You see a water pit that

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<v Speaker 1>looks like it's filled with alligators or something. You see

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<v Speaker 1>a section with very strange contraptions on the left and right,

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<v Speaker 1>and you even see a full loop to loop contestants

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<v Speaker 1>a you ready, ah, you set go, The gates open,

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<v Speaker 1>and you and the others head down the first gigantic hill.

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<v Speaker 1>You increase your speed slightly to keep up with the

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<v Speaker 1>other bladers. As you hit the first gigantic jump, you

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<v Speaker 1>fly across an enormous gap, and just for fun, you

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<v Speaker 1>perform a perfect backflip. As you slowly spin upside down,

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<v Speaker 1>you look below to the pit of water that clearly

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<v Speaker 1>as alligators swimming in it. You continue the flip and

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<v Speaker 1>land easily on the other side. Well, one of the

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<v Speaker 1>main contestants slips on the landing and blasts over towards

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<v Speaker 1>the edge. It looks rather painful. You make your way

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<v Speaker 1>into a series of corkscrew turns, around and around and

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<v Speaker 1>around as you head down the mountain and then through

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<v Speaker 1>through that strange area with the weird contraptions on the side.

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<v Speaker 1>The weird contraptions suddenly activate, sending lasers across the path,

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<v Speaker 1>some of them high, some of them low. Clearly it's

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<v Speaker 1>time to start dodging. You duck under the first jump,

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<v Speaker 1>over the second, turn, sort of sideways over the third,

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<v Speaker 1>and for the last one. There's a series of lasers

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<v Speaker 1>in a line, so many that you can't jump upward

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<v Speaker 1>without well reaching the exact position you'd need to fit

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<v Speaker 1>between two of them. You quickly turn sideways, fly through

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<v Speaker 1>the air, straighten your body and make it straight through

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<v Speaker 1>the lasers. You watch as two of your competitors hit

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<v Speaker 1>them and are immediately electrified. It doesn't look deadly, but

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't look painless either. You spin your body, land

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<v Speaker 1>on the ground, and head straight towards the loop to loop.

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<v Speaker 1>There's only two other competitors still with you. You look behind

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<v Speaker 1>you to see both of them, and mentally you speed

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<v Speaker 1>up your roller blades faster and faster, heading straight into

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<v Speaker 1>the loop to loop, You try to keep dead center

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<v Speaker 1>as you go up in the air, around the loop

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<v Speaker 1>and down the other side. You made it, and then

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<v Speaker 1>you see five more of the things. Oh, this is

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<v Speaker 1>gonna make me dizzy. You continue straight down the ramp,

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<v Speaker 1>straight in the center as you go around the first,

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<v Speaker 1>the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth, and you

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<v Speaker 1>enter in into another large ramp area with a gigantic jump.

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<v Speaker 1>On the other side, another huge gap, this time filled

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<v Speaker 1>with jagged rocks, is approaching. You launch off the thing

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<v Speaker 1>straight up into the air, and again you perform a

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<v Speaker 1>long and slow front flip. The crowd cheers as you

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<v Speaker 1>blast through the air and gracefully land on the other side.

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<v Speaker 1>You zoom down the ramp and skid to a halt

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<v Speaker 1>right across the finish line, ahead by enough to watch

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<v Speaker 1>the others fly off the last ramp. One of them

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<v Speaker 1>lands in trees off to the side, luckily looking well,

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<v Speaker 1>minorly injured but generally okay, while the other lands perfectly

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<v Speaker 1>and slides in beside you. The crowd goes crazy. The

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<v Speaker 1>announcer from above the mountain slides into view on his

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<v Speaker 1>very own rollerblades. He looks unhappy. He picks up the microphone.

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<v Speaker 1>Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that our alien visitor has

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<v Speaker 1>won the competition. Everyone cheers again. So has promised we

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<v Speaker 1>will give them an exemption to the roller wheel's monopoly.

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<v Speaker 1>The crowd cheers again, but the announcer doesn't look particularly happy.

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<v Speaker 1>Blade slides up beside you. Wow, that was amazing, and

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<v Speaker 1>even more amazing that you showed those ros the wheels people.

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<v Speaker 1>What's what? Oh cool? I want to come hang out

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<v Speaker 1>for a bit of my place, maybe another time, you say,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I should probably get out of here. Spaceship

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<v Speaker 1>hovers down above you and opens the back hatch. A

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<v Speaker 1>little rope drops down. You grab a hold of it

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<v Speaker 1>and it lifts you up into the air, straight onto

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<v Speaker 1>the ramp. You roll into the ship, turn around and

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<v Speaker 1>wave goodbye as the back hatch closes. Well did you

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<v Speaker 1>have fun, Spaceship asks, Yeah, but I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>I made for a planet where everybody rolled their blades

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. That whole roller wheels thing is a

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00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:05.160
<v Speaker 1>bit weird, agreed, Spaceship says, you, uebuckle the roller blades,

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<v Speaker 1>place them beside the couch, and lay down on it.

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<v Speaker 1>You close your eyes, and with each breath your body

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<v Speaker 1>begins to sink down into the couch. You let your

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<v Speaker 1>arms relax, you let go of the tension, and your legs,

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00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:37.240
<v Speaker 1>your shoulders, your neck, and even your face. And with

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00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:43.400
<v Speaker 1>each breath you sink down a little more. And the

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<v Speaker 1>more you breathe, the better you feel, and the better

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<v Speaker 1>you feel, the deeper you sink, until your mind wanders

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<v Speaker 1>off to thoughts of new dreams and new adventures.

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<v Speaker 4>Mist to come good night everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>And.

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<v Speaker 5>Never union.

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<v Speaker 6>Mc n new yor.

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<v Speaker 5>More than union of things mo Nan Union h