WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.439 --> 00:00:04.040 Hi, everybody, Welcome to the Best Ever You Show. I'm 2 00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:07.639 Elizabeth here with doctor Katie Eastman, my co host, and 3 00:00:07.799 --> 00:00:09.320 our guest Bobby Carlton. 4 00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:12.320 Bobby, Hi, how are you Hi? Thanks for having me. 5 00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:17.359 Yeah, Katie, how are you? Good to see you, Bobby, 6 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:19.679 good to be here. Good to be here. Yeah. Katie 7 00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:21.280 and I talk like every minute of the day. So 8 00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:22.679 good to see you again, Katie. 9 00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:29.160 Yeah, good to talk to you. 10 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:32.560 You know, we are new to Riverside FM here and 11 00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:35.399 we're I'm having a little bit of a giggle before 12 00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:38.200 we go on here. Katie's like, oh my gosh, my lighting, 13 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:40.719 and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm I'm much shorter 14 00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:43.439 than you guys in the video, and Bobby's We're all 15 00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:48.479 talking about the really good video quality that we have here, 16 00:00:48.520 --> 00:00:52.240 showing every wrinkle and gray hair and every everything. 17 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:54.960 I miss. Zoom touch up my appearance. 18 00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:00.200 Yes, that's what's missing. Okay, I don't look like this 19 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:01.039 on Zoom. 20 00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:03.000 I know. Zoom is our friend. 21 00:01:03.719 --> 00:01:08.400 Is our frienduzzy fuzzy filter. Yeah. And my son for Christmas, 22 00:01:08.519 --> 00:01:10.239 He's like, Mom, I got you a new camera. It's 23 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:13.159 like four K and blah blah blah. I'm like, oh great, 24 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:18.319 thank you, thank you. Yeah the twist anyway, yeah, and 25 00:01:18.359 --> 00:01:22.359 we're all in our home offices. So yeah, so anyway, 26 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:25.920 it's it's it's great to have you here, Bobby. What 27 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:28.400 a treat it is. Bobby is the founder of Carlton 28 00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:33.159 PR and Marketing Innovation Innovation. I'm sorry, I want to 29 00:01:33.159 --> 00:01:35.200 say Innovation Women is what I want to say. 30 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:36.159 Katie. 31 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:38.680 You're a member and I'm a budding member, and I 32 00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:40.519 don't want to know all. I just want to give 33 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:42.439 the Florida Bobby and have it tell us all about her. 34 00:01:43.680 --> 00:01:47.159 So Innovation Women is actually my third company. I usually 35 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:50.920 tell people. The day job is I run Carlton PR Marketing. 36 00:01:51.239 --> 00:01:54.040 That's how I make an actual living. The night job 37 00:01:54.120 --> 00:01:57.840 for many years was something called Mass Innovation Nights, which 38 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:01.879 was a monthly new product launch event driven by social 39 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:06.519 media help promote local startups. And then Innovation Women is 40 00:02:06.680 --> 00:02:09.960 the dream job. It's the dream of getting more women 41 00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:14.439 on stage at conferences and events because two thirds of 42 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:18.439 all conference speakers are men, and it leaves women out 43 00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:21.120 of all kinds of business and career opportunities. 44 00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:23.879 It trure, does I just met you at the main 45 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:28.199 conference for women actually? And you gave such a fascinating talk. 46 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:31.280 Why is it that women aren't part of the speaking 47 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:32.199 circuit so much. 48 00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:37.000 There's a lot of actual systemic reasons for that. One 49 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:41.000 of them is speaking begets speaking. The more speaking you do, 50 00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:45.120 the more speaking you will do, and so older patterns 51 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:48.520 kind of perpetuate. And if you're looking at this from 52 00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:53.599 an event manager perspective, they are asking for brand names, 53 00:02:53.840 --> 00:03:00.319 recognizable faces, people they know the heads of company is 54 00:03:00.360 --> 00:03:04.280 the c suite, and you know if you define who 55 00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:07.759 you want on your stage by the c suite from 56 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.000 the Fortune five hundred, very small number of women there. 57 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.879 But there's actually a lot of reasons. Even at the 58 00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:20.919 smaller company size, more women work part time, women are 59 00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:24.879 more likely to work for smaller companies, and women are 60 00:03:24.919 --> 00:03:28.400 still more likely to be responsible for kids at home. 61 00:03:29.159 --> 00:03:32.159 So if you get asked to speak, you know, it's 62 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:34.800 hard to be the morning keynote speaker if you've got 63 00:03:34.840 --> 00:03:37.800 to put little Johnny on the bus at eight am. 64 00:03:38.039 --> 00:03:41.759 It's hard to get away for three days, which is 65 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:45.199 what it would take to travel to a conference to 66 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:48.599 speak and then come back. If you only work three 67 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:51.719 days a week, and if you work for a smaller company, 68 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.759 that company probably can't afford to send you to a 69 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:59.280 conference for three days. There's nobody to backfill for you, 70 00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:02.599 and they might not have the money for the travel 71 00:04:02.759 --> 00:04:07.560 and all the expenses associated with it. So systemic reasons included. 72 00:04:07.719 --> 00:04:08.639 What do you think, Katie? 73 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:09.919 I love it. 74 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:13.960 I think I've gotten lots of leads from being part 75 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:16.800 of Innovation Women for speaking options that. 76 00:04:16.839 --> 00:04:18.319 I never would have found. 77 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:23.079 I think Innovation Women has a wonderful opportunity for authors 78 00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:26.920 as well. You've got a section where we can identify 79 00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:30.720 ourselves as with our books, and there's also a place 80 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:33.560 where we can reach out and announce and say what's 81 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:35.759 on our minds and what we're thinking about and hey, 82 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:38.000 is there anybody out there who wants to talk about that? 83 00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:40.639 A lot of options. 84 00:04:40.199 --> 00:04:43.639 Innovation Women offers, and I think just Bobby's brilliant and 85 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:47.040 I think what she's done is huge, and I'm grateful, 86 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:49.920 very grateful for somebody like me who was just how 87 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:50.920 would I get out there? 88 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:56.000 Yeah, I mean Innovation Women has a profile for each speaker, 89 00:04:56.279 --> 00:04:59.199 a searchable database for event managers to come in and 90 00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:03.600 search for speA We also have a database of opportunities 91 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:07.160 that our speakers can apply to. We have the what 92 00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:09.800 we call the green Room, which is where all of 93 00:05:09.800 --> 00:05:13.720 our education is, and we have the Innovation Women Network, 94 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:18.120 which is an online community so our speakers can network 95 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:18.720 with each other. 96 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.439 Tell me, I'm going to go back. I'm taking you 97 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:22.839 back to kindergarten like we do sometimes on this show. 98 00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:25.519 Were you you the kid who was always piping up 99 00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:26.759 and loved public speaking? 100 00:05:27.560 --> 00:05:32.360 No, I'm an introvert. Seriously, I'm an introvert. I think 101 00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:37.480 that the skill set for somebody in my position, so 102 00:05:37.959 --> 00:05:41.920 longtime pr person. I'm really good at research, I'm really 103 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:46.720 good at writing. These are my superpowers. And public speaking 104 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:49.879 was something that I did with other people. I got 105 00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:53.560 them on stage. I continue to do that. I always 106 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:56.680 tell people I'm one of the theater kids, you know, 107 00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:00.839 like always out there. But my job in the theater 108 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:04.439 was I was the spotlight operator. I was the person 109 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:08.160 who was hiding out in the rafters shining a spotlight 110 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:11.879 on the star of the show. I was not the 111 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:14.519 singing and dancing on the stage kind of person. And 112 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:18.639 I discovered when I started my second company that I 113 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:22.800 needed to be front and center in order to connect 114 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:29.240 with customers and partners. I needed to be the theater 115 00:06:29.399 --> 00:06:32.600 kid on the stage versus the one in the back 116 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:35.879 room in order to move my business forward. And the 117 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:40.600 first event that we did for Innovation Nights, I was awful. 118 00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:46.079 I mean seriously hot mess. And it was a social 119 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:50.360 media powered event and everybody had their cameras out and 120 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:55.240 video lots of evidence of me being a hot mess. 121 00:06:55.319 --> 00:06:58.439 So it was a situation where you look at those pictures, 122 00:06:58.519 --> 00:07:01.240 you look at that video, and you say, I get 123 00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:05.079 better at this or I die. And I chose to 124 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:07.439 get better. Practice really helps. 125 00:07:07.639 --> 00:07:10.079 Here's a question. How do you get the practice though? 126 00:07:10.120 --> 00:07:12.199 If nobody puts you on their stage. 127 00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:15.759 Sometimes you got to make your own stage, which is 128 00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:18.800 really what I did with Innovation Nights. I ran Innovation 129 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:22.920 Nights actively for eleven years. We had a monthly event 130 00:07:23.079 --> 00:07:27.199 dured in thirty five events, and every single month I 131 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:31.000 was the MC, I was the host, and I was 132 00:07:31.079 --> 00:07:34.920 literally doing the same thing every single month. And as 133 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:38.439 I did it again and again and again, I got 134 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:44.120 better at it, and pretty soon people were asking me, oh, 135 00:07:44.360 --> 00:07:48.040 can you come and speak at my event? Really me, 136 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:50.560 And then you know, it kind of dawned on me, 137 00:07:50.680 --> 00:07:53.480 Oh you've gotten better at what you were doing. People 138 00:07:53.639 --> 00:07:56.199 do want you to speak. I think some of it 139 00:07:56.319 --> 00:08:00.199 for many people. If you can't create your own stages, 140 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:04.480 you can start smaller. One of the recommendations I usually 141 00:08:04.519 --> 00:08:08.360 give to people is, if you need that dip your 142 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:13.639 toe in opportunity, ask a question from the audience that 143 00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:17.519 the next conference that you're at. If you think about it, 144 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:21.079 you're probably talking to the exact same audience that the 145 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:25.160 people on stage were speaking to. And you've got a short, 146 00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:30.680 little punctuation of a moment. You get to identify yourself, 147 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:34.600 this is my company, ask my question, and then you 148 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:38.559 can sit down and disappear into the audience. But you 149 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:41.279 just spoke to the exact same audience that the folks 150 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:44.919 on stage spoke to. It's your turned way to start. 151 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:49.519 Well, I'm Bobby, I'm the theater kid who is on 152 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:53.799 stage and more power to have given. Yeah, and you 153 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.919 have given me a stage that I would not have 154 00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:01.519 otherwise had, And I'm most grateful for that because I'm 155 00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:05.240 one of those people who doesn't shy away from being 156 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:09.200 a speaker, loves it, eats it up, but just how 157 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:12.440 do I get there? So I really encourage people to 158 00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:16.440 become part of Innovation Women because it gives you your stage. 159 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:18.919 It helps you find your stage where you fit. 160 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:23.320 We also do a thing called Speaker Friend Fridays, a 161 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:26.559 zoom call every week and for a lot of people 162 00:09:26.919 --> 00:09:30.200 I know they've said that for them, that was their 163 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:37.200 first stage, introducing themselves, asking a question, answering someone else's question. 164 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.200 It's all virtual, it's online, but it's good practice. 165 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:46.480 Yeah, great practice. I'm not the theater kid. I'm probably 166 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.559 more the math and science and writing girl, behind the 167 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:53.919 scenes of like never on stage kind of thing. But 168 00:09:54.039 --> 00:09:56.600 then I had a TV bug when I was about 169 00:09:56.879 --> 00:09:59.759 eighteen and wanted to be a news anchor and so 170 00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:04.200 whole backgrounds in the news anchoring and and so forth industry, 171 00:10:04.279 --> 00:10:06.759 So TV reporting and anchoring and stuff like that, but 172 00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:10.679 not theater exactly. But yeah, now it's interesting, so different 173 00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:14.879 backgrounds is there? Is there a certain something that you 174 00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:19.440 look for in people to be on stage? Do you 175 00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:23.000 have Like if somebody's listening and they're like, Bobby, I 176 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:25.039 need you, I've got to track you down because I 177 00:10:25.080 --> 00:10:27.559 want to be the keynote of blah blah blah, or 178 00:10:27.600 --> 00:10:30.639 I want to give the commencement address. You know, something 179 00:10:30.759 --> 00:10:33.120 big that they want to do. Do you have a 180 00:10:33.159 --> 00:10:37.679 series of things that you're looking for, So maybe that happen. 181 00:10:38.919 --> 00:10:42.200 Women is a platform, it's a membership group, and what 182 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:47.639 we do is we provide the services from Innovation Women's 183 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:52.080 Platform to anybody if people are looking for a way 184 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:54.639 to get more visibility, if they're looking for a way 185 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:58.240 to build their business, or a great opportunity for that. 186 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:01.720 The things that I love to see kind of walking 187 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:06.759 through the door are people who may be very experienced 188 00:11:06.919 --> 00:11:11.399 in business, who may not have yet utilized all of 189 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:16.600 their vast knowledge from the stage. So I think a 190 00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:20.519 lot of people wait too long before they say I 191 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:23.960 am ready to be a speaker. I am ready to 192 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:27.519 present at an event. We have a lot of women 193 00:11:27.559 --> 00:11:32.240 who talk to me about these amazing things that they 194 00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:35.360 have done, and I'm like, why are you not out 195 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:40.159 there speaking about these It's like I have climbed this mountain, 196 00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:43.360 I have done this amazing thing, and I'm like, why 197 00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:47.039 are you not telling that story? Well, I want to 198 00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:51.559 build my confidence first, Like you know what builds confidence 199 00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:55.320 like nothing else, Getting up on stage and telling your 200 00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:58.480 story like that is the way to get started. 201 00:11:58.799 --> 00:12:02.039 It's because we fear we're going to be judged, how 202 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.919 how what's our weight, what's our hair, what do we 203 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:07.240 look like? How old are we? Is everything we're saying 204 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:11.360 perfect because it's a it's a probably a processing of 205 00:12:12.159 --> 00:12:15.440 self confidence issues going on most of the time. I 206 00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:17.360 think when I talk to people and they're like, I 207 00:12:17.399 --> 00:12:19.759 don't want to do that. People are gonna see. 208 00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:24.960 Me, you know, I got to say that. You know, 209 00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:27.000 if anybody had a reason to be nervous, it would 210 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:30.559 be me. But at the same time, I do think 211 00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:34.720 that people we've been told all our lives that speaking 212 00:12:34.840 --> 00:12:37.639 is something to be fearful of. Like there are all 213 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:42.240 these studies about how speaking is the number one fear. 214 00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:46.440 I think death is like number seven. In other words, 215 00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:50.399 we would rather die than be on stage. But I 216 00:12:50.440 --> 00:12:52.799 think so many of us have heard these stories and 217 00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:55.559 heard about the study that were like, this is something 218 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:59.320 we're supposed to be nervous about. This is something we're 219 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:02.919 supposed to be frightened of, And I think we've built 220 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:07.120 up this fear in our minds to an unreasonable level. 221 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:11.799 So I don't really like to talk about the fear 222 00:13:11.960 --> 00:13:16.679 aspect of public speaking. I think if you do feel flushed, 223 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.360 if you feel a little flutter in the tammy like, 224 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:24.480 that's excitement, that's not necessarily nervousness. 225 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:30.440 I absolutely love what you did in Maine or anybody 226 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:33.919 that has ever not been on stage or had a 227 00:13:34.080 --> 00:13:38.840 fear of being on stage. You gave everybody equal opportunity 228 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:41.200 to be up there and just see what it feels 229 00:13:41.320 --> 00:13:44.639 like to be on the stage under the lights and 230 00:13:44.720 --> 00:13:48.720 shine their light upon each other. It was such a 231 00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:52.399 special moment in my life. It was just so I 232 00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:54.759 don't know, there's just something about him, like it was 233 00:13:54.799 --> 00:13:57.399 like one of those, as Katie will say, uplifting other 234 00:13:57.480 --> 00:13:59.080 women moments. 235 00:13:59.639 --> 00:13:59.960 It was. 236 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:02.679 It's so powerful. I think about it all the time. 237 00:14:03.799 --> 00:14:07.039 That's awesome. I've done that a couple of times before, 238 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:10.320 and I first did it out at the I Tripoli 239 00:14:10.559 --> 00:14:18.240 International Leadership Conference in California several years ago, and it 240 00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:21.399 was one of the last sessions. We didn't have the 241 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:26.000 entire I don't know, seven thousand people audience there, and 242 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:29.720 I'm like, all right, anybody who's left here who hasn't 243 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:33.799 yet been on stage, you want it, come on up. 244 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:36.559 And I think somebody is about ready to kill me 245 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:40.320 because they were nervous about the whole stage collapsing. But 246 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:44.720 we got literally hundreds of people on stage for a 247 00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:47.559 big group photo and people are like, you know what, 248 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:49.960 this is the first time I've been on stage, and 249 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:52.919 that I think was like a really good way for 250 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:55.919 some people to go this is not this is not scary, 251 00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.360 this is fun. I'm here with my friends. It was good. 252 00:15:00.080 --> 00:15:02.279 It was just fabulous. Yeah, Katie. 253 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:05.879 And don't you think Bobby that one of the things 254 00:15:06.039 --> 00:15:08.919 that helps people not be as anxious is if they 255 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:13.200 pick a topic that fits for them, because I think 256 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:15.200 that is hugely important. 257 00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:18.000 And one of the things I love about when we 258 00:15:18.120 --> 00:15:22.039 get leads on Innovation Women is we tell you what 259 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:25.840 our loves are, our passions, what we want to speak about, 260 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.480 and the leads come to us based on those themes, 261 00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:31.559 and I think it's so much easier to get up 262 00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:35.399 on any stage. Just like an actress, you know, you've 263 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:38.799 got to be in character, and you've got to know 264 00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:41.799 your character. We have to know ourselves to know what 265 00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:45.360 we're good at speaking about, and it's what we care about. 266 00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:48.159 A lot of people to think about public speaking as 267 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:51.559 I'm going to share my area of expertise, but you 268 00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:54.519 also have to be sharing the things that get you 269 00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:58.919 excited that you're passionate about. It's very hard for the 270 00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:03.039 audience to get excited about something if you're not excited 271 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:06.879 as this speaker, right, So you have to be excited 272 00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:10.759 about your topic. You have to love that topic, right. 273 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:15.080 Yeah. I have an opportunity to speak at the end 274 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:17.559 of the month in front of a really big group 275 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:20.480 of student athletes, which is a huge goal of mine forever. 276 00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:24.440 You're one of the reasons. Yeah, I know. One of 277 00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:26.320 the reasons why I had you on the show is 278 00:16:26.360 --> 00:16:29.759 because it just credits back to that moment of like 279 00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:31.440 being on the stage and having that moment of but 280 00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:33.759 you know, I got this, I can do this kind 281 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:36.679 of thing, And so I said yes, and I'm like, oh, 282 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:39.320 what did I say yes to? No kind of thing. 283 00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:41.480 I had one of those moments of like a no, 284 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.200 and everybody knows it, and I'm cool with it. You know, 285 00:16:44.279 --> 00:16:46.799 it's not my it's not exactly my thing. You know, 286 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:50.440 I'm more behind the TV kind of thing. And I'm like, Okay, 287 00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:52.679 I can do this. So I had the most wonderful 288 00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:57.080 preparatory phone call yesterday to get everybody's ducks in a 289 00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:59.279 row because I'm sharing the stage with Ed Garrity and 290 00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:01.919 I'm like, oh my, you know kind of thing. So 291 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:05.079 it's a really big deal. And I just thank you, Bobby, 292 00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:07.880 because that I think without that moment, I might have said, no. 293 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:11.359 I am. I worked with a speaker a while ago, who, 294 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:15.359 like many of us, spent several years, you know, in 295 00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:18.319 the early days of the pandemic and stuff, being alone 296 00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:22.400 at home and doing lots virtually. Yeah, and she said 297 00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:27.880 she really felt like she lost the muscle, the memory 298 00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:31.000 of being on stage in front of real humans. And 299 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:34.720 we got her an opportunity to be on stage at 300 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.400 a pretty major event, and she got up during the 301 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:40.880 dress rehearsal and just froze. And I was like, yeah, 302 00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:43.759 come here, we're going to go and find all the 303 00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:47.559 empty rooms at this conference, and you're going to hop 304 00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:49.799 up on that stage and you're going to give that 305 00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:54.079 presentation to me. And we probably bopped in and out of, 306 00:17:54.279 --> 00:17:57.759 you know, five to ten different rooms over the course 307 00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:00.279 of a day. And at the end of the day 308 00:18:00.440 --> 00:18:03.599 she got up and she nailed that presentation. She was 309 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:06.440 so good, and it was literally just you know, the 310 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:09.519 muscle memory of being on stage it came back. 311 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:13.319 Yeah, but you know, also the love and support of you. 312 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:16.480 I think there's a when you meet Bobby in person, 313 00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:18.880 which I hope you all have the moment too. There's 314 00:18:18.920 --> 00:18:22.559 a warmth to you that I have trouble putting words 315 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:25.240 to I immediate didn't. I. Katie immediately called you, and 316 00:18:25.240 --> 00:18:28.960 I'm like, oh my god, I'm at the coolest person. Yeah. Yeah, 317 00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:32.839 she's so warm because you could be like I don't 318 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:35.319 have time for you, you know, you know kind of thing, 319 00:18:35.799 --> 00:18:37.799 and I was scared at first. I'm like, oh, please, 320 00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:40.799 don't do that to me, because I kind of love you, 321 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:43.640 you know. And so I got the love back, and 322 00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:47.799 it was so lovely. It just was just warm and friendly. 323 00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:52.160 And I watched you operate and you did that with 324 00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.759 everybody and it was refreshing. 325 00:18:54.279 --> 00:18:57.720 You know. It was interesting because I did my presentation 326 00:18:57.880 --> 00:19:01.440 that day twice, so I think I met you upstairs 327 00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:05.200 while we were in giving the presentation in the smaller 328 00:19:05.279 --> 00:19:08.559 room in the morning. You had a booth up like 329 00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:11.720 right outside our room. And then they had me do 330 00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:16.079 the same presentation in the big auditorium downstairs later on 331 00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:20.359 in the day and the first room. Okay, let's put 332 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:23.839 a whole bunch of women in their fees, pack them 333 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:28.240 tight in a little, tiny room and make it super hot, 334 00:19:28.599 --> 00:19:33.559 like everybody's dying. It was so hot in that room, 335 00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:35.960 and everybody's like, can we open a window? 336 00:19:37.240 --> 00:19:41.039 Is there ac I'm like, who's having a hot flash? 337 00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:43.279 But we had a good time in that room, like 338 00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:45.440 it was. It was you know, a lot of laughing 339 00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:49.200 and interaction and stuff. And then I got into the 340 00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:53.640 auditorium to do the same presentation in the afternoon and 341 00:19:54.440 --> 00:19:57.920 everybody spread out in the auditorium and there's like three 342 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:01.319 hundred seats and I've got about twenty people in the auditorium. 343 00:20:01.400 --> 00:20:05.799 And I should have like said, okay, come closer, because 344 00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:09.599 otherwise you don't get that the feels, you don't get 345 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:16.599 that interaction. And the minute I started doing my presentation, 346 00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:22.720 like I'm not feeling it. I'm not feeling the usual feels. 347 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:25.240 And I said, you know what I'm going to have 348 00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:25.519 to do. 349 00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:27.640 I'm going to have to get everybody up here with me, 350 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:31.480 because otherwise the feels are not going to be the 351 00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:35.440 same and it's not going to be the same experience 352 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:40.039 for people who were in the little room this morning. Now, true, 353 00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:43.279 we were all dying to the heat, but the fields 354 00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:46.000 were there, and the fields are so important to this. 355 00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:49.680 Yeah, they are. I was sitting it with a lot 356 00:20:49.720 --> 00:20:51.400 of I was actually sitting around a lot of people 357 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.359 and they were taking intense notes while you were speaking. 358 00:20:55.480 --> 00:20:58.319 I think you had a really studious want to be 359 00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:02.759 crowd and it was I could see people, you know, like, 360 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:05.279 how do I become this? That was the group that 361 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:07.720 you had there. It was a last and the second 362 00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:09.920 one that they were younger and they were taking notes 363 00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:11.799 and I felt like I was the old person in 364 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:14.440 the room. I'm like, oh my kind of thing, and 365 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:16.519 it was. It was pretty cute. And when you brought 366 00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:19.720 up everybody on stage, everybody was tickled so and talked 367 00:21:19.720 --> 00:21:21.839 about it the rest of the day and everything. 368 00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:25.119 So it was, OK, yeah, we great picture that vibe. 369 00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:26.240 Yeah, it was really cool. 370 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:28.839 We got a fantastic picture of that. We got a 371 00:21:28.839 --> 00:21:31.319 great video of that, and we shared it out when 372 00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:31.920 people are. 373 00:21:31.799 --> 00:21:35.000 Like, yeah, so much fun. All right, So we're gonna 374 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.839 run short on time. I don't want to keep you 375 00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:39.359 too long here. But why do we need speaker buddies? 376 00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:44.319 Oh, speaker friends. I'm a big advocate of speaker friends, 377 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:49.480 all right. The reason we need speaker friends is very 378 00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:54.279 weirdly speaking, as an industry, I swear to God, is 379 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:59.920 so secretive. I feel like everybody who has ever stepped 380 00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:02.920 foot on stage looks around and goes, hey, I could 381 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:07.400 do this. I could make money training other people to 382 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:10.880 do this. So I'm gonna keep my little secrets to 383 00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:14.079 myself and I'm not going to share. And that doesn't 384 00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:18.119 help anybody else. And I don't know that that's how 385 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.440 everybody operates, but I do feel like speaking as an 386 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:26.960 industry is overly secretive. So I think the people who 387 00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:33.079 are most successful as speakers have access to speaker friends, 388 00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:40.319 people they can get feedback from, real feedback people they 389 00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:44.200 can ask questions of, Like if you're friends with people 390 00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:48.559 who are on that same journey with you, you have 391 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:54.079 access to just so much information and knowledge. So that's 392 00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:57.240 one of the reasons we have these weekly zoom calls 393 00:22:57.720 --> 00:23:01.200 Speaker friend Fridays, and I say to people, there's no 394 00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:06.119 gatekeeping here, no pay me money, and learn the secrets. 395 00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:12.160 Anybody's welcome. That is also how I present. I might 396 00:23:12.279 --> 00:23:15.160 go a little too deep for some people when it 397 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:19.240 comes to my presentations, but I want everybody in the 398 00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:22.799 room to walk away with those notes you were mentioning, 399 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:26.519 Like I know how to do a thing. Not I 400 00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:30.319 saw a presentation where somebody promised if I bought the 401 00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:33.759