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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of the Chicks on the Right podcast.

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Today we are talking with friend and sponsor of the show,

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Zach Abraham from Bulwart Capital Management, and we're going to

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get a little.

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Speaker 2: Girly with you, Zach, because we want to.

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Speaker 1: Talk about weddings and the finances of them. Apparently, there's

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this viral post that's one of those am I the

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asshole posts on Reddit.

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Speaker 2: From a woman.

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Speaker 1: Who's actually the sister of a bride who wanted to

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have a destination wedding, and because it was a destination wedding,

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it was very pricey. Her parents, not particularly well to do,

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couldn't afford it. The sisters, in a much better financial position,

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offered to pay for the parents to get there, but

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not much more than that. So once the bride found

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out that the parents were going to come, she was

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mad enough at them for not paying for the wedding

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but still wanting to come that she disinvited.

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Speaker 2: Them, which is so crazy. So now old do we

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know how old this bride is? No, there's no.

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Speaker 1: Age, say, but like the sister's like, listen, I'm willing

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to help get my parents there, but I'm not willing

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to pay for my sister's wedding and they can't afford it, right, Like,

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am I the asshole for not just paying for the wedding?

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And of course most everybody was like, no, you're not

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the asshole. But it did lead to a huge conversation

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about weddings and paying for them and what the typical

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advice is, maybe from a financial planner, like, yeah, do

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you ever hear about this from your clients, and like

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who's responsible? Like traditionally, what's happening now, and who's responsible

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for paying for it? And why is her sister the

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bride such an asshole?

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Speaker 3: I was going to say, there, yeah, there clearly is

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an asshole involved.

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Speaker 2: In clearly, and we all know who it is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to work that equation too much

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to solve for X. We know who the asshole.

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Speaker 2: Is pretty much. Yeah, pretty sure.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, no, no, no, I We've dealt with it

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a little bit. Not a whole lot I've heard about,

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but I've heard a lot of consternation, especially as everything's

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got more expensive, right, so the weddings have gotten more expensive.

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What what I've seen the most of is that kind

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of that traditional role of the bride paying for bride's

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parents paying for everything, the groom's parents kicking in as well,

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but to their own. Like I So, when my wife

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and I got married, we were you know, I knew

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that my pant family would help out, that would help out.

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I knew that her family would help out. But the

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whole attitude that we had was, well, what works for you,

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and anything that you can contribute to the wedding is

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greatly appreciated. And it goes to this kind of like

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expectation that these kids have today, right, And you can

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lump it in the same thing with well, you know,

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two years out of college, I want to be making

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one hundred and fifty grand a year, right, Yeah, well

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trying to Yeah, you're like, well, you know, I'd like

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a hundred eighty foot yacht, but you know I don't

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have one of those either. So yeah, I think that

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it is molded or it has changed and evolved a

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little bit because the expectations for the weddings. I think

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you've grown, the expense of the weddings has grown. I

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mean back when we got married, I remember thinking, you know,

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twenty to twenty five grand on a wedding was a

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big number. Yeah, you know what I mean nowadays, that

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isn't anything.

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Speaker 2: Done a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh it's madness. And I've heard of people refining

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houses rights all one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: That's such a bad idea.

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Speaker 3: Why would you? Why would you drive one hundred and

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fifty thousand dollars a car when you make two and

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a grand a year?

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Speaker 2: Agree, Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: You see it everywhere and I get I tell people

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all the time, like anybody that will listen, be like, hey,

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do not spend a bunch of money. I had a

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conversation kind of goes. One of my buddies was like, hey,

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I'm getting a new car. Da Da da, And I

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was like, what are you getting? And he's like, well,

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I really wanted an escalade, But he said, after or

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I realized that your family didn't have an escalade, he's like,

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I thought it was kind of hard to justify me

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getting an escalate. And I was like, and I go,

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you know what, man, good idea. He's like, why don't

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you have one? And I said, because it's the exact

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same car And this is no knock on escalades. I

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love them, but I was like, it's the exact same

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car as the Yukon, right, But you're paying twenty five

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grand for your ego, So like, what does your ego cost? Right?

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Speaker 4: Mine?

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Speaker 3: Thank god, isn't twenty five grand. It's something, right, I

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didn't buy a used minivan, but but is it? You know, like,

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be honest with yourself. What are you doing? Why are

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you doing these things? Why are you refinancing your house?

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Are you trying to set an image for a bunch

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of people that you actually don't care what they think,

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but yet you're going to financially compromise yourself to impress.

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Speaker 5: Them, and you want to go into debt for a webbite.

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Our anniversary was this past weekend, and so I had

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I was able to reflect on our wedding and our marriage.

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What you do every you reflect, and so in our

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looking at our web wedding out them in our wedding

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I put it in air quotes and our reception in

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air quotes, because our reception was like at our house,

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which we had just bought a house like a couple

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months prior. And and you know, we had our entire

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wedding excluding my dress, which I had my dress made.

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My dress probably cost one hundred bucks. My entire wedding

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was six hundred dollars. Wow, with six hundred dollars for everything. Yeah,

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because when we got married in a little church and

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there were maybe like ten to twelve people there, and.

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Speaker 2: So it was very cheap. And I look back and

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I'm like, that was great. I have no regrets.

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Speaker 5: And I'm not saying everybody has to do that, but

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like at the time, we were like, why would we

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spend a bunch of money on or we would never

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go into debt for it, Like if we had ten

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grand or twenty grand or thirty grand to spend on

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a wedding. You know, maybe if we had a lot

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of money at the time, which we didn't because we

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were a blended family. We were both we had been divorced,

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we had we had debt, we other debt we were

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trying to take care of at the time. We didn't

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want to go in debt for a wedding, and so

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we just to be married. We just loved each other

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and wanted to be married, and so like we were like,

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we're just gonna get married, and we wanted some of

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the favorite people that we had around us there. I

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can't believe Mariam wasn't there, and met her like six

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months later, it's a travisy.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, like I look back on that time

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and I think I don't.

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Speaker 5: Regret that at all, But I do see like other

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people that go into debt for a wedding, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: I feel like those are the people who are going

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to end up.

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Speaker 3: Divorced for sure. Well you know, of course, what's the

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number one reason for divorce ansership. So yeah, so we're

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going to start right out of the gate with that

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ends of thousands of dollars behind the e ball. Right,

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it's not it's just and that's what you want to

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The other thing you want to tell these people is

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just it's just like with anything else. I remember. It's

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a line out of that movie Cool Runnings. My college

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football coaches say it all the time, and it's so true.

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If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough

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with it.

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Speaker 2: I love that quote.

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Speaker 3: Yes, whatever you think it's going to add to you,

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whatever you think it's going to add to your love

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or your special day, it won't. It's just a bigger hangover,

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that's all it is, right, And you don't need it,

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and just that and if you can get to the play, Look,

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it's not all just intelligence and smarts too. I've been

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a very very lucky, blessed person and I know that,

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but there's also decisions that you can make along the way,

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and being financially free and not in debt let me

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just I remember my mom used to have this saying

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back back in the day that she said, being skinny

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feels better than food tastes, right, And I think the

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same is true, Like being debt free is ten times

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better than any short term dopamine hit you get from

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putting on airs or flashing or whatever the case may be.

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It just it just is.

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Speaker 1: And you have you had like an opportunity where you've

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been able to change somebody's mind who came to you

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and they were like trying to plan for how they

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were going to cover maybe the wedding of a daughter.

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Speaker 2: Have you been able to be like you need to

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not do that? And did they?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Usually people don't, right, they don't listen well, because right,

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they'll come to you for advice. But about three minutes

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into the conversation, what you realize is they're not looking

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for advice. They're looking for affirmation, validation.

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Speaker 2: Because there's a validation, it's emotional.

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Speaker 3: Right, right, right, Yeah, they just want you to agree, right, yeah,

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they want you to give your stamp of approval. But

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there there are a couple funny stories where I did

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make and at the time seemingly innocuous comments not they

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weren't a big deal that they asked me a question

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I said. When I find out months later a couple

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of them, I had to go back to them and

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be like, hey, you're doing a great job, but you

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I just had one with my younger cousin. He came

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to me for financial advice many times, and he's a

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hard working guy, ex marine, and I just had to

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have a conversation with him where I was like, Okay,

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your wife's getting a little frustrated because you've done an

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amazing job. You could spend a little, right Like. I

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had to talk him back the other way and he's like, well,

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you said, Nigel, I know, no, you're you're you're great,

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but man, you've got you got a lot of money

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in the bank and your truck has a hole in

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the floor. You can get a new you can get

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another truck. You're not right, so you're running in yeah, right,

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But but there's another one. They did the same with

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their wedding. They did a family wedding, kept it very

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small for those reasons. They are in their early thirties

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now they have they own four different rental houses almost outright.

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They can live off that income. He's also involved in

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a family business and all of it has been self made.

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They have no debt and they're financially free in their

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early thirties.

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Speaker 5: And it was funny because we have one kid that

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we have two older kids. One is more of a spender,

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but we have one kid that's like that, and we

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almost have to remind.

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Speaker 2: Him you got it. You know, you can have a

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little fun.

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Speaker 5: With life, like it's okay, you can let loose a

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little and you can have So it's funny the different

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mindsets that people get into, because when you do raise children,

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you're like, okay, you gotta make sure.

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Speaker 2: You save, you gotta do this, you do that. You

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gotta like.

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Speaker 5: A tone for the sins that we made when we

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were growing up and we made mistakes, and here are

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the mistakes we made, and please don't make those same mistakes.

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And you know, yes they listen. The ones that listen

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are like, oh my.

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Speaker 2: Gosh, I don't want to make those mistakes.

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Speaker 5: And so they almost overcompensate. And so it's funny because

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we have one that does that too, and we're like, okay,

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but you can actually live a.

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Speaker 2: Little and go on vacation and you don't have to

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work so hard. You know, it's funny, Yeah, it's not. Yeah,

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the kiddo never breaks the rules, like, break the rules

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a little.

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Speaker 3: It's okay, you know, sneak out for God's sake.

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Speaker 2: Right, right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, press an edge, buddy. Yeah. So yeah, like you said,

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it's about balance, right, and but but I think financially,

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especially early on, it shouldn't feel balanced. It should feel

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a little bit spartan, right, and build up a pad

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and it just it's worth it. Man, Digging out of

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a debt hole is not fun. You're right, it's possible.

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I did it too, But yeah, it just it's never.

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It is never when you're looking back on it, like Amy, Joe,

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you said it, right, you look back on it. You

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remember that time, the moment, the people that were.

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Speaker 2: There, peple that. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if we threw twenty grand more at that day,

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it wouldn't mean any more now than it did that.

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Speaker 2: If I didn't care about the flowers, I didn't care

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about it.

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Speaker 1: I did care about the food. I cared a lot

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about the food.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, our priority, our priority, without question. We started off going, Okay,

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we're gonna go with wine, food, and we will deal

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with expenses in that order. Right, that starts at the top,

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totally right, Like throw a good party. Throw a good party.

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Speaker 2: Yes, listen, after party was great.

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Speaker 3: We were all there.

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Speaker 2: Foot in our house. It was great. But I mean

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it's like it was beer and like chicken nuggets. Man,

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that's how But I'd still do it. I would do

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it over.

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Speaker 3: That's a good time. That's a good time. Good. We

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could even throw some Costco burgers on the grill, you know,

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some dogs.

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Speaker 2: I did. But it doesn't take much with me. I'm

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very low bar. Okay, at least you know that going

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in right, Miriam tastes a little bit more. She's a foodie. Yeah. Yeah,

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and I still remember me. I still remember the whole.

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I mean it was really good. Yeah, I really love it. Okay,

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I'll good advice, great advice. Always get great advice with Zach. Yeah,

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you really really do.

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Speaker 1: And you can get it actually personalized by having a

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sit down consultation with you tell people how you do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So easiest way to just go to our website.

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But we're Capitalmanagement dot com. Uh, and then we do

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our daily show. Our daily dots give a full update

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and a summation of everything that's gone on that day.

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And that's uh. You get that at Know your Risk

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Radio dot com or just Know Your Risk podcast on YouTube,

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on instat raw on TikTok now too, Oh my gosh, Look,

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we're all over the place. We got a social media

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manager and he's cleaning things up for us and actually

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making us up to par here son, you.

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Speaker 1: Go, okay, I'll have to go follow you out on

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all of the things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it. I love it. All right, thank you, thanksach,

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all right, thank you, ladies, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 4: Investment advisory services offered through Trek financialc and SEC Registered

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Investment Advisor. The opinions expressed in this programmer for general

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informational purposes only, and are not intended to provide specific

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advice or recommendations for any individual or on any specific security.

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Any references to performance of security so it thought to

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be materially accurate and actual performance may different investments involve

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risk and are not guaranteed past performance doesn't guarantee future results.

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Trek twenty fourth three Zeroly