Speaker 1: Hello, friends from across the nation and around the world.
I'm Martin, and you are listening to a little podcast
called Dad's Bedtime Stories, a podcast I started by telling
bedtime stories to my own kids and have now expanded
to the entire world, with thousands of listeners every single
night and over a million good bedtimes so far. Now,
if you don't know this about me, aside from being
a moderately successful podcaster, I'm also a vice principal.
Speaker 2: Of a high school.
Speaker 1: And this week happens to be graduation week the end
of the year, and it is super busy. I mean, like,
really really busy. Honestly, I should probably be taking the
week off of podcasting just to get everything done, but
something inside me just won't let me skip episodes without
some sort of major emotional damage. I'm not sure why
I'm gonna talk to a therapist about it, so instead,
I've come up with a compromise. I kind of outsourced
this episode. Yeah, most episodes are written by me, spoken
by me, sometimes made up by me on the spot.
Actually most of the time they're honestly made up by
me on the spot, but tonight's episode was actually storyboarded
by me. I came up with the concepts, all the
main events, that sort of thing. But I might have
let chat GPT do the heavy lifting this time because
I needed a break. I had time to read the episode,
but I didn't have the creative energy to make a
full episode. If that makes any sense. Based on popular demand,
Tonight's episode will visit a little story called Sunshine the
Ninja Chicken, a literary RPG adventure about a chicken who
gets a bunch of powers after escaping from its coop
and you know, fighting bad guys and stuff. Honestly, I
thought that I had done two of these. I really
really thought I'd done two episodes of Sunshine the Ninja Chicken.
But I went to search tonight to find out what
happened in the last episode, and I.
Speaker 2: Could only find one.
Speaker 1: So did I do two? I really I have no idea.
If you can find a second episode I did on
Sunshine the Ninja Chicken, please let me know. I found
a lot of episodes about chickens that I've done, including
one called Chickens Attack Manitoba, but I could only find
one on a Ninja Chicken. Well, technically, there's also one
about a karate chicken in the Cards of Power series
that I did recently. You know, either way, I think
I've come up with a pretty good sequel here to
the original, And while I outsourced some of the fine
details in writing, I really feel like the plot of
the story is still mine, if that makes any sense,
and I'm gonna read it, so I hope that's cool.
Let me know your thoughts and please comment if you
find another Sunshine the Ninja Chicken episode other than just
the first one. Before we get started, I want to
give a big shout out to one of my newest
Patreon sponsors. Thank you to ten year old Miles Andrews
from Ashland, Oregon. I have never been to Oregon and
the only thing I know about Oregon is based on
a video game I played in the nineteen nineties. I
think it was called Oregon Trail. Ask your parents about it.
And now, after a possible word from a possible sponsor,
we'll get onto the story. Sorry about the ads, we
gotta fund this somehow. Time to close your eyes, get
as comfy as you can in that bed, and imagine
yourself doing what the kid in the story does, or
actually that makes no sense, imagine yourself doing what the chicken,
the ninja chicken in the story does The morning after
Sunshine shadow beaks first great adventure began exactly the way
most mornings began. On Colson and Cecily's hobby farm. The
sun rose, the grass sparkled, the chickens clucked. Somewhere nearby,
a goat sneezed with the confidence of an animal who
believed the whole world needed to hear it. Inside the coop,
Sunshine sat quietly in her nest, looking like a perfectly
normal chicken. This was, of course a lie. To Coulson
and Cecily. Sunshine was just their chicken, a little strange,
maybe a little too good at escaping, definitely, but still
a chicken. Inside Sunshine's mind, however, things were different. She
remembered the forest. She remembered the possum bandits. She remembered
rescuing Muffin' the duck from a bucket. She remembered the
whirling demon, which humans would probably have called a weat whacker,
but Sunshine knew evil when she hurt, making that much noise.
Most of all, she remembered the flame feathered temple. And
she remembered her powers, ninja awareness, precision, peck level on.
Ninja jump level one, fire beak level one. Sunshine closed
her eyes. A ninja is patient, she thought. Outside the coop,
footsteps crunched over the grass. Colson's voice came first. Okay,
this time we watched for Sunshine, Cecily answered, I was
already watching Sunshine last time you watched her escape. That
still counts as watching. The latch clicked, the coop door
creeped open. Every chicken burst forward at once, flapping and squawking,
as if breakfast was a matter of life and death, which,
to be fair, most chickens seem to believe it was.
Sunshine did not move right away.
Speaker 2: She waited.
Speaker 1: Colson leaned down with the feed bucket. Cecily stepped sideways,
and a tiny gap between them appeared. Now, Sunshine thought,
She sprang forward. Ninja jump launched her higher than any
reasonable chicken should have gone. She bounced off the edge
of the nesting box, landed for half a second on
Colson's shoulder, and used him as a launching platform. Hey
Coulson shouted. Sunshine sailed over the fence, spun once in
the air, and landed in the grass beyond the coop.
Cecily stared, Did Sunshine just double jump off your shoulder?
I ain't think, Colson said, our chicken is doing this
on purpose. Sunshine did not wait to explain, mostly because
she could not explain, and also because it was funnier
that way. She darted into the woods. The forest welcomed
her with cool shadows, soft moss, and the distant chatter
of squirrels, who were already making rude comments about her
dramatic landing. Sunshine ignored them. A true ninja does not
answer every squirrel. She moved between the trees, using ninja
awareness to scan the world around her. A beetle under
a leaf, a twig about to crack, a breeze shifting
from the west, and then something strange. A patch of
moss near the roots of an old maple tree seemed
to rise and fall. Sunshine froze. Moss was not supposed
to do that, at least she fairly sure that moss
was not supposed to do that. She crept closer and
tapped the moss with her precision peck. There was a click,
the ground rumbled, the mossy patch split open, revealing a
round hole with stone steps leading downward. A golden feather
of light spun into the air. The smooth voice of
the Chicken Upgrade system spoke in her mind. Hidden Dungeon
discovered beginner hero testing ground recommended classification heroic farm animal Warning.
Dungeon may contain danger, treasure, dramatic lightning, and unnecessary announcements.
Sunshine stared into the darkness. It smelled like stone and
old magic and eh, well, something that hadn't been dusted
in a really long time. A reasonable chicken would have
gone home, but Sunshine was no reasonable chicken. She hopped
down the steps. The tunnel twisted beneath the roots of
the forest. Tiny torches flared to life as she passed,
one by one until she reached a round stone chamber.
The door slammed shut behind her. At the far side
of the chamber stood a fox. He was lean, red
and very, very hungry looking. His yellow eyes fixed on Sunshine. Well,
said the fox, dinner has entered the dungeon. A glowing
message appeared in front of Sunshine. Dungeon Level one Predator
Encounter opponent hungry Fox objective survive and defeat the enemy
reward level up. Sunshine narrowed her eyes. The fox lunged
Sunshine leaped sideways just as his jaws snapped shut where
her tail feathers had been. She landed on a broken
stone block, then jumped again. As the fox swiped at
her with one paw. Ninja awareness made every movement sharper.
The fox's shoulders dipped before he pounced, his tail twitched
before he turned. His ears flattened before he charged. Sunshine
could read him, but reading a fox and not being
eaten by one were two very different things. The fox
rushed again. Sunshine used Ninja jumped to spring straight over him.
As she passed above his head, she struck down with
a precision peck right on his forehead, right between the ears.
The fox yelped ow. Sunshine landed behind him and clucked once.
The fox growled and charged again, faster this time. Sunshine
backed toward the wall, waited until the last possible second,
then jumped up the stones. The fox smashed face first
into the wall. While he shook his head, Sunshine activated
fire beak. Her beak glowed orange. He shimmered in the air.
The fox blinked. Sunshine launched herself forward, flaming precision peck
right on the fox's nose. The fox howled, spun in
a circle, and spread it towards a small side door
that had a sign above it that read emergency Exit.
The fox vanished through it, still yelping about spicy chickens
in their fiery beaks. The Dungeon voice echoed through the room.
Level one complete, awarding two level ups Please select two upgrades.
A glowing menu appeared in front of Sunshine. The Ninja
Chicken skill tree shimmered. New options unfolded like little feathers
made of light. Sunshine carefully read through the options before
eventually selecting Ninja Projectiles Level one effect. Selected feathers may
temporarily harden into steal like projectiles, and launched a ward
a target. Feathers regrow immediately. Lee Sunshine ruffled her wings.
A single feather glowed, hardened, and shot across the room
like a tiny throwing knife. It struck a wooden target
that had appeared on the wall with a thunk. Excellent,
Sunshine thought. Then she moved to her second upgrade, Ninja
Agility Level one effect. Greatly improved speed, balance, dodging, wall running,
water skipping, swinging, climbing, and general obstacle course nonsense. Think
American Ninja Warrior. A rush of energy moved through her
legs and wings. Sunshine felt lighter, faster, more dangerous, and
also slightly more dramatic. For some reason, a square stone
platform rose from the floor. Doors slid open, and inside
was a tiny little elevator, just the right size.
Speaker 2: For a chicken.
Speaker 1: Sunshine stepped in. The doors shut and gentle music began
to play. For some reason, Sunshine stared straight ahead. This
dungeon was strange. The elevator sank deep into the earth
and finally opened into a huge room filled with bright lights.
Sunshine expected another monster. Instead, she found an obstacle course.
There were swinging ropes, spinning barrels, narrow beams, moving platforms,
a pool of water, and an enormous red button. At
the far end. A voice boomed from nowhere. Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome back to farm animal Ninja Warrior. Sunshine froze. There
were no ladies, there were no gentlemen. There was only
a chicken and an underground dungeon. The announcer continued, Anyways,
today's contestant is Sunshine. Shadowbeak around but determined chicken from
the local hobby farm. She may look fluffy but don't
let that fool you. This bird has already defeated a
hungry fox and unlocked advanced Ninja movement. Sunshine looked around slowly.
The Chicken upgrade system appeared. Dungeon Level two Obstacle Trial objective.
Reached the end and hit the button warning falling into
the foam pit is in embarrassing but not lethal award
two level ups. Sunshine clucked. The first obstacle began to spin.
Here she goes, shouted the announcer. Sunshine is approaching the
spinning feed buckets. Sunshine jumped her new Ninja agility guide
at her feet. She landed on the first bucket, balanced
as it spun, then leapt to the second. It tilted
under her weight, but she flapped once, corrected herself and
sprang to the third. She's making it look easy, the
announcer cried, which is impressive because she's a chicken, and
most chickens are not known for their bucket jumping work.
Next came the swinging garden hoses. Sunshine grabbed one with
her feet, swung across the gap, and launched herself to another.
For a terrifying second, she spun backward. Is she in
trouble folks. Sunshine fired to steal feather into a wooden post.
The feather struck firm. She landed on it like it
was a tiny step, pushed off, and reached the next platform.
She saves it with ninja projectiles. I don't know how
that's allowed, but the rules committee is made of stone
and has not complained. Sunshine raced onward. She ran up
the wall of questionable chicken choices, skipped across the pond
of mild regret, and balanced across the wobbly roosts as
they tilted under her claws. Finally, she reached the final
coop climb. It was tall, curved, and ridiculous looking. Sunshine
took a breath, then she ran her feet tapped the wall.
One step, two three. She was running upward. At the top,
she launched into the air with Ninja jump, spun once,
and landed beside the giant red button. The announcer screamed,
she has done it, Sunshine, shadow Beak has conquered the course.
Sunshine pecked the button, corn shaped confetti blasted into the air,
and the dungeon voice returned. Level two complete, awarding two
level ups. Please select upgrades the menu opened. Sunshine looked again,
reading very carefully, and eventually chose fire Beak level two.
Fire Beak level two unlocked effect user may release controlled
bursts of fire from the beak. Warning do not use
near hay, dry leaves, or emotionally fragile scarecrows. Sunshine opened
her beak, a small puff of flame came out.
Speaker 2: She nodded.
Speaker 1: Then she continued to read through the other options. Eventually
she landed on something called Ninja Camouflage level one. Ninja
Camouflage Level one unlocked effect user may blend into shadows, stones, leaves,
or convenient background objects. Visibility greatly reduced, well sneaking. The
light dimmed for a moment, Sunshine suddenly looked like she
was part of the wall. Then she stepped forward and
became herself again. Another elevator rose from the ground. A
sign above it read final level farm Yard Duel. Sunshine
stepped inside.
Speaker 2: This time.
Speaker 1: The elevator music was somewhat dramatic, but still very elevator like.
The doors opened into a circular arena. The floor was
made of sand. Lanterns glowed along the walls. A narrow
ring of water surrounded the center platform, and the middle
stood a duck wearing samurai armor. He had a tiny
reed helmet, a wooden training sowd and a calm expression.
The duck bowed Sunshine shadowbeak. He said, I am Master
wattle Blade. I have waited many seasons for a worthy challenger.
Sunshine bowed back. She respected the drama. The system flashed.
Final dungeon Challenge Duel of feather and beak. Opponent Master
wattle Blade Samurai Duck objective defeat the dungeon Champion reward
two level ups. Master wattle Blade moved first. He crossed
the arena in a blur, wooden sword flashing. Sunshine dodge
the first strike, jumped over the second, and barely ducked
under the third. He was fast, very fast. Sunshine fired
three steel feathers. Master wattle Blade spun his sword and
knocked them out of the way.
Speaker 2: Tap tap tap, good, he said, but not good enough.
Speaker 1: He swept one webbed foot across the sand. Sunshine jumped
over it, performed a front flip, landed on the wall,
and ran sideways along the stones. Using ninja agility. The
duck followed her movement perfectly. He splashed one wing into
the ring of water, sending a wave across the arena.
Sunshine skipped over the surface of it, her feet, touching
the water so lightly that she barely sank at all.
Master wattle Blade charged again. Sunshine opened her beak and
breathed fire. A bright burst of flame shot forward. The
duck spun, splashing water into the fire. Steam filled the arena.
For a moment, neither fighter could see. Sunshine activated ninja camouflage.
Her feathers blended with the gray cloud. She vanished. Master
wattle Blade stood still. Sword raised clever, he said, but
a true warrior does not only watch with his eyes.
He turned sharply and blocked a feather projectile before it
reached him. Sunshine froze. He was good, too good for
one simple attack. So Sunshine stopped fighting like a chicken
and started fighting like Sunshine Shadow beak, the ninja chicken.
She fired two steel feathers into the sand on the
left side of the arena. Master wattle Blade turned toward
the sound. Then Sunshine ran silently along the wall on
the right, using ninja camouflage. She used Ninja jump to
spring upward. She breathed the short burst of fire behind herself,
not at the duck, but kind of into the air.
The burst pushed steam across the arena, making the shadows dance.
Master wattle Blade looked up a heartbeat too late. Sunshine
dropped from above, fire beak glowing precision. Peck ready. Master
wattle Blade raised his sword. Sunshine twisted in mid air,
tapped one talon against a steel feather stuck in the wall,
changed direction and came in from the side instead. Peck
ride on the duck's helmet. The reed helmet spun off,
his head, bounced in the sand, and landed upside down.
Master waddle Blade froze. Then the ducks smiled and bowed deeply.
You have passed. The lanterns flared with golden light. The
dungeon voice echoed through the chamber. Congratulations, you have defeated
the dungeon. Please select two final level up rewards. Sunshine
stood tall as the menu opened one last time. She
read carefully before eventually landing on something called sword Talons
Level one. Congratulations, you have unlocked sword Talons Level one effect.
Talons may temporarily form short energy blades for cutting, climbing, blocking,
or extremely dramatic poses. Her claws glowed for a moment,
stretching into bright little blades of energy. Then she continued
to read until she came to the perfect thing. Body
of Steel level one. Body of Steel Level one, Unlocked
effect feathers may temporarily harden into protective steel. Armor movement
speeds slightly reduced, well active. Her feathers shimmered for a second.
She looked like a tiny armored warrior chicken. Then the
glow faded. The arena doors opened and a fine elevator waited.
Sunshine stepped inside. This time there was no music for
some reason, only quiet. The elevator rose and rose until
the doors opened into warm daylight. Sunshine stepped out beside
the old maple tree in the forest. Behind her, the
hidden dungeon entrance sealed itself. Beneath the moss. A final
message appeared, Dungeon complete. Hero training initiated greater threats pending.
Sunshine looked down at herself, her full powerless now felt
huge Ninja awareness, Precision Peck level one, Ninja Jump level one,
Ninja Projectiles level one, Ninja Agility level one, Firebeak level two,
Ninja Camouflage level one, Sword Talons level one, and Body
of Steel level one. She was stronger than ever, She
was faster than ever. She was probably the most dangerous
chicken in a very large area. Then a voice called
from behind her, Sunshine. Sunshine slowly turned Colson and Cecily
stood at the edge of the woods. Cecily pointed at her.
How did you get out again? Coulson narrowed his eyes,
and why do you look so smug? Sunshine could have escaped.
She could have activated ninja camouflage and vanished into the trees.
She could have used Ninja jump to soar over them.
She could have fired steel feathers, breathed fire, activated her
body of steel, and came a tiny farmyard legend. But
Colson and Cecily had always been kind to her. They
fed her, they gave her a safe coop, and most importantly,
they had never once tried to eat her, which Sunshine
considered an excellent quality in a person. So she stood still.
Colson gently picked her up. There you are, he said,
you weird little chicken. Cecily smiled, I think she missed us.
Sunshine did not correct her. She rested calmly in Colson's
arms as they carried her back through the grass. The
farm looked peaceful, the coop looked warm. The other chickens clucked,
as if nothing strange had happened at all. Colson placed
Sunshine gently inside. Tried to stay in here this time,
he said. Sunshine blinked at him. No promises, she thought.
The coop doors closed. Sunshine walked to her nest, circled once,
and settled into the soft straw. Her new powers rested
quietly inside her, like sparks waiting under ash. Somewhere beneath
the forest, the dungeon slept, Somewhere in the distance, the
flame feathered temple waited, And somewhere deep in the glowing
secrets of the chicken upgrade system, a new message flickered
for only a moment before fading away. Greater threats pending.
Sunshine closed her eyes. A ninja must rest, and with that,
Sunshine shadow beak, heroic chicken of the hobby Far Far
drifted into dreams of fire, feathers, foxes, ducks, and whatever
strange adventures would come next.
Speaker 2: Good Night, everybody.
Speaker 3: More and never union name in New York, Union, no thing,
no more Union in one one man
Speaker 1: Ne m