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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I'm Stephanie Wilder Taylor and this is Drunkish.

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You know, I wrote a book called Drunkish like a

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year ago January, where I talked about my whole sobriety story.

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But now I have a podcast so I can listen

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to other people's stories. And today I have a very

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special guest. It is my daughter Elbie, who is in

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college and kind of gave me some insight to what

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the kids are doing today when it comes to drinking

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in college. And also we went back and talked a

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little bit about drinking in high school and I don't know,

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could be eye opening or could be triggering, let's find out.

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Welcome to Drunkish, my daughter Lbie Taylor.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so excited to chat it up.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to have you on because you are in

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college starting your senior year, and I feel like I

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wanted to talk about I know that you and I

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have a lot of you know, we have a pretty

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good relationship.

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Speaker 3: You open conversation, open conversations.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people know what their experience

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was going to college, and a lot of the women,

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especially that I talked to and men, have told me

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that their drinking got a lot of them felt like

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they got pretty out of control in college. Many of

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those people felt like they had they were under their

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parents' roof though during high school, and so once they

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were in school, it was like all bets are off,

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and then they went really crazy and some of those

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people went on to develop, you know, drinking, real drinking problems.

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Speaker 3: But tell me about Let's go back to like high.

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Speaker 1: School and what the vibe was as far as substances

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in high school.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I feel like in high school is

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like a little I don't want to say like normalized,

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but I mean, like especially in my I want to

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say like junior year. Definitely by senior year because that's

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like right before college, but like definitely junior year and

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like a little into sophomore year. I mean, I would

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say freshman year. I had that one experience where everybody

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around me was drinking and I was like, oh, like

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I don't want to be here, Like I'm so uncomfortable,

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Like everybody's drunk. I'm not used to this because I

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was what like fifteen at the time. I want to say, yeah, fifteen, Yeah,

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And I feel like at that point in high school

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it wasn't that normalized. Like that was something that I

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was not expecting to be in at all. Like, but

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I feel like going into like sophomore year, some people

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were like dabbling with that, although it was a little

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bit hard because that was also COVID year, so like

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I wasn't really hearing that much because I was in

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such like a small little bubble where I mean, none

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of me and my friends, like at my many hangouts

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that I'd have every other weekend, nobody was drinking. Like

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that was never the occasion of the functions, So I'd

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never really gotten into it until like junior senior year.

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I think the first time I drank was junior year,

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which I came right home and told you, hey, just

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letting you know I had some alcohol. Got of just

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putting that out there, laying it all out on the table.

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But I mean, I feel like high school it's definitely

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way different than college. Still, I feel like high school

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it was more like nobody was really just like drinking

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every single weekkend. Like I feel like it was more okay,

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like after homecoming, We're having a big party, and like

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everyone there is for sure like there's going to be

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a lot of alcohol at this party, and you would

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kind of like know that, but I feel like it

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wasn't until college where I was like, Okay, there's going

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to be at least one day of the weekend that

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we're all going out and people are probably going to

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be drunk, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, and then I do want

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to hear all about the college stuff. But yeah, since

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I know a lot of sober moms, listen to this,

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and I'm wondering from your perspective, not what it was

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like to grow up with a sober mom, because you

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wouldn't know the difference, but my attitude towards alcohol and

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how I talk to you about drinking helpful, Yeah, harmful,

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too straight, too loose.

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Speaker 2: I think it was honestly very helpful. I really like

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appreciated almost having a sober parent because I but like

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you didn't like villainize alcohol, like you weren't like you

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can't touch this, it's going to ruin your life, like

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stay away because you know that. It's like I felt

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like you made it very clear that it's very like

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person a person basis. But I felt like you always

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were really good at like making sure I was careful

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and understanding what like drinking responsibly looks like and obviously

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I've had some experiences where I did not do that,

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but like, I feel like I've never Also, I just

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feel like with the amount where you're like not like

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I never felt scared to tell you that I was

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like going to drink, because you always made it like

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very much in open space where you were like, I

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know you are going to obviously you're a teenager, but

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if you do, and if you get into a situation

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where you're like not safe, not comfortable, like I can

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confidently say that like, regardless of every situation and I've

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been in, I've never ever ever felt the need to

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drink and drive. I've never felt like I should get

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in a car with somebody that is drinking and driving, like,

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and I felt like I've always kind of like had

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a space from you where I'm like able to talk

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to you without feeling like I'm going to get punished

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for like having teenage experiences. But also I know that

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you're not going to be like, oh my god, you

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got super fucking hammered, like Okay, do it again next week.

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You know, like I knew that you would be like, hey,

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let's try not to do that again. By do it

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like being more responsible with this, you know, Like I

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felt like I've always just had like felt open with you,

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but not so much that I'm like and also I

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feel like we just talked about this the other day.

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I feel like it's like loose enough to where I've

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never felt the need to do it, like I said,

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behind your back, Like I've never felt like I've had

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to go be like rebellious and get really drunk and

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not tell you just because I'm not allowed to drink.

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So I've never felt like I've had to be like

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fighting it all the time and being like, oh my god,

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like I'm going to do this without telling my mom,

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like I'm a rule breaker. She doesn't have to know.

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Speaker 1: You know, that was really important to me, because, you know,

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but it's interesting because different moms have different perspectives on

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what they tell their kids about their own past.

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Speaker 3: But I always felt like it.

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Speaker 1: Was important and not just with drinking or drug use

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or anything else, but I mean, or but with other

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things to be open about, like what my high school

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experience exactly, which I've made very clear wasn't great, Like

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my drinking was way too much in high school and right,

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but also not to assume that, like if somebody else

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is drinking a lot in high school, that like, oh

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my god, you're not you have a problem exactly.

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Speaker 3: I'm trying. Yeah, So how do you feel like that compares?

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Speaker 1: Did you feel like some of your other friends too

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strict anything there?

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Speaker 2: I mean, like from like a high school perspective, It's

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hard to say, because I feel like a lot I mean,

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my friend's parents all had like very like varying strictness,

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you know, like I had some friends whose parents were

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like absolutely not, don't drink alcohol, don't touch alcohol. And

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I will say, like, for the most part, not that

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I feel like any of my friends were super like crazy,

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rebellious and like bad kids, because like I feel like

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I surrounded myself a lot of and I'm sure you

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would agree with like mostly people that act similarly to me.

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But I will say there are like instances where my

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friends have been like, yeah, my parents like really don't

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want me to do this, so like we're gonna do

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it anyways, but like we can't say anything, like we

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can't tell them, like I know, I won't say who,

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but like we're drinking at my friend's house and like

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you already knew what I was doing, Like I had

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obviously been like, hey, I'm gonna like uber here just

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in case, or maybe I asked you to drop me

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off or something, but I made it very clear, like

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there's probably alcohol, and just in case. I don't want

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to drive because I don't want to put myself in

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a situation where I have to figure out if I

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should drive home. Obviously, But when I got there, my

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friend was like, hey, we had we can drink this alcohol.

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It's totally fine. We can use it because my parents

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aren't here, but don't drink too much out of any

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of them because they actually don't know. And I was like, oh, okay,

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So I helped her like clean off all the glasses

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because she was like, she was like it's fine, Like

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they're not going to be like, did you move this

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cup like an inch over? But she was like they

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are probably gonna notice if there's an entire bottle of

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tequila just like gone out of nowhere. Like she's like

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you could just like switch between every once in a while,

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like it's okay, and like she was not a bad

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hit it all, And I don't think she would ever

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be somebody that I would ever be concerned about like

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regarding alcohol or drugs. She's very much like not that

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type of person, if that makes sense, not in a

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derogatory way, just like in general. But it was just

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funny because I noticed that, like comparatively, like her parents

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were a lot more like don't drink like at the

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time they do now, but like I think at the time,

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because it was in high school, they like didn't really

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know that she was drinking a lot. So it was

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just like that was like one of those little experiences

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where I did notice sometimes people were like, okay, like

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we can do this, but like don't say anything, Whereas meanwhile,

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I'm like telling you, hey, do you want to drive me?

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Like I don't want to drive them?

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Speaker 1: Well, because you knew I would be so excited to

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drive you anywhere, just the mere fact that like, oh

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my gosh, she's basically letting me know, like I might

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have a drink, I might drink. I don't want to

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have to drive home exactly, and you knew I felt

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like and you knew that I and still do and

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even with your younger siblings, I feel like you can

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call me anytime. I will kind of get you. Just

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do not ever get behind the wheel. Of a car

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and by the way, I've driven drunk and that's why,

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I mean, there's no reason for it.

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Speaker 2: Of Course, I grew.

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Speaker 1: Up with more strict parents and it was not okay,

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and I just didn't want Yeah, it's hard as a

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parent to know what did you were any kids? Did

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you feel like doing anything out of control? I mean

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out of your direct friends, because I would.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure in high school, Like there was definitely noticeably,

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like even in high school, I would go to parties

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and stuff like after everything like homecoming prom like blah

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blah blah blah blah. And I feel like there was

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like some people that I wasn't really friends with, but

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people like from my high school, people that I knew

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where I just noticed that they were just like absolutely

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hammered flashed at every single function without a doubt, Like

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like there were like certain people that would be out

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that you just you wouldn't even like think about it,

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like you would just know, dude, how drunk is this

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person going to be tonight? Like who's going to have

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to somebody's gonna have to be taking care of them,

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you know. And again it wasn't anybody that I was

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even friends with. It was just people that I was

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like knew of and aware of and knew would be

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at the same place as me, and everybody would just

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be like, that person's going to be super like we

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already know they're going to be They're going to be slashed,

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and like it's obviously the same in college, Like there's

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people that I know that I'm like, oh my god,

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this person just like cannot have a single night where

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they're like not completely fucking up, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So so you start college and you started a

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little bit a little bit older because you know, for

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those that don't know, yeah, you spent a year at

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community college, but only one year, and in that year

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you did socialize obviously, but you were home a lot

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and it wasn't like the greatest year. So then you

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started college as a junior, but as a transfer student,

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so all of your friends were a lot of them

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were juniors. Yeah, what how do you feel the vibe? Well,

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first of all, I also wanted to ask you really

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quick before we move on to college about posh sure

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about marijuana?

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Speaker 2: Yes, Mary, I feel like.

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Speaker 1: That's us that everyone you would make fun of me

243
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because I couldn't pronounce this as dizzy correctly call it

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a swizzle.

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Speaker 2: A swizzle, I think I was, like, it's you could

246
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:13,799
just say a pen It's fine.

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Speaker 1: Like, Okay, are more people do a lot of people potheads?

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I mean a lot of people were potheads?

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Speaker 2: Are ill be real with you, if you meet somebody,

250
00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:27,519
it's more likely they are a pothead than they aren't.

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Which it weed, I would say, is what even more

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00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:34,360
normalized in alcohol. I don't think I know anybody that

253
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doesn't at least smoke occasionally, Like I don't know. I

254
00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:44,320
just it's it's everywhere. It's everywhere, like pretty much everybody

255
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,039
smokes at this point. I will say that.

256
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Speaker 1: It's so concerning to me because well, A, I don't

257
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love I don't love it. Yeah, I grew up around

258
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a pothead, and I don't like the idea of somebody

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not being on my level.

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Speaker 3: Like I I yeah, And that's for me.

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Speaker 1: Smoking pot was always even though I was a big

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old alkie, smoking pot was always so much more like

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I'm going to be very altered. I'm not gonna be

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able to follow conversations. If I try to watch a movie,

265
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I'm gonna forget what's happening in the middle. Like that

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had to be yeah, and I didn't like it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's my thing. I think, like specifically with weed,

268
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I have a pretty low torrance. And also I feel

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like it's also a way thinner line for me from alcohol.

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Like obviously, alcohol, within a couple shots, like you're going

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to go from like feeling good to feeling actually out

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of your body. But I feel like with weed, it's

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literally the difference of like one extra like you take

274
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one extra hit of a pen, like you go from

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being like, Okay, this is good to like where the

276
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fuck am I? What am I doing? Like you know,

277
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which makes me paranoid. I don't smoke a lot of

278
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weed at all, because it just honestly either makes me

279
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really tired and like I will just get shut down

280
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and nonverbal and I'm like it's time for bed and

281
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it's like nine pm or or it's like the opposite,

282
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and it makes me really paranoid, especially because I think

283
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I've also had some really bad experience with experiences with it,

284
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to the point where now if I try to I'm like,

285
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,200
oh God, okay, like is it going to be the

286
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,279
same thing as last time? Like I can't have it.

287
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I can't like be on the verge of like dissociating

288
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and seeing a third person again from like two hits

289
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of somebody's pen like I can't do that.

290
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Speaker 1: But when you tell technical that, you're like, oh, I

291
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don't really love pop because it makes me feel do

292
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you get like people going like, oh, yeah, but you

293
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haven't tried this stuff that I have.

294
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Speaker 2: He honestly funny enough, not really like it's funny because

295
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everybody smokes pretty much like I would say, like the

296
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majority of people I know, but also everybody I feel

297
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like is very understanding of people that don't. Like I've

298
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had people offer all the time there They'll just like

299
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,440
try to hand it to me, and I'm like, oh,

300
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,599
I'm good. Sorry, I'm like, I I don't want to

301
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,279
like smoke, especially if I've already drank horrible combination. For me,

302
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:24,119
I've already told you this, But like the worst experiences

303
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,599
I've had from smoking are when I was already drinking

304
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,599
and I took like one singular hit and I was like,

305
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:34,319
oh my god, I feel disgusting, Like this is terrible,

306
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Like I'm gonna die. So like people I usually just

307
00:17:39,079 --> 00:17:42,880
joke and I'm like, nah, Likenna, it's gonna fuck me up.

308
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And they're like, you're good, like understandable, It's fine, you know,

309
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,799
Like no, I feel like there's not a lot of

310
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peer pressure when it comes to weed, if that makes sense.

311
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Speaker 1: So with alcohol you start college, was the culture a

312
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lot different. I know you joined US sorority. I was concerned, yeah,

313
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about drinking culture with fraternities and sororities. I've had some

314
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:10,799
bad experiences myself tell me about like the the culture

315
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with that.

316
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Speaker 2: It's interesting because I was kind of going into it,

317
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especially as a transfer. I was unsure because I was like,

318
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I know, all of these freshmen are going to be

319
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like wild, out of control, like they're in college. A

320
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,279
lot of people are like escaping. They're you know, really

321
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strict parents and they're like ready to go. Like I

322
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don't got anybody at home telling me but at home

323
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by ten o'clock, Like I can be home whenever I

324
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want because I live by myself. So I knew that

325
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like freshmen would be like that, but I wasn't one

326
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hundred percent sure how it would be as a transfer

327
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because I was going to be surrounded by more juniors

328
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who I feel like would still be drinking a lot.

329
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But I was unsure whether it would be more team,

330
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but I think being a transfer it was a very

331
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specific experience because it's kind of just being like an

332
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older freshman. Like a lot of the transfers were all like, okay,

333
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like let's get this party started, you know, But I

334
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,359
don't know. I feel like as a junior, I've definitely

335
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heard stories from freshmen that I know of it being

336
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like way crazier than anything I've even seen. But I

337
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,359
will say I did see most of like that freshman's

338
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side from my sorority because I'm I was obviously in

339
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the like PC, the pledge class. I don't know why

340
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,319
they call it a PC for stories because that's for frats,

341
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but whatever, we move on. I was in the new PC,

342
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which was me, a couple transfers that became like my

343
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main friend group, and then a bunch of freshmen, like

344
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fifty freshmen girls. So I feel like I didn't go

345
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out in my sorty very much. I feel like I

346
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did most of my like going to events in fall quarter,

347
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but I never really got that drunk at like most

348
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obviously There's been a few that I was like, which

349
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I'll obviously go into, but like, for the most part,

350
00:20:11,799 --> 00:20:15,559
at my sorority, events. I was never getting that hammered

351
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because it was me mostly hanging out with the other girls.

352
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I was not hanging out with like a lot of guys,

353
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because it's mostly freshman guys that go to these like

354
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specific PC like sorority events because it's meant for the

355
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new girls. But I would be surrounded just by these

356
00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:40,200
girls that were like hammered. And what I didn't know

357
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:44,640
is that sororities love to do shit middle of the week.

358
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Like I would get a text in the group me

359
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,440
for my sorority and it would be like a Wednesday night,

360
00:20:49,559 --> 00:20:53,400
and they'd be like, hey, guys, Like the frats would

361
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:59,599
be like, hello, ladies of sorority, who's ready to get

362
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,519
turned on this lovely Wednesday night. We're having a champagne

363
00:21:03,519 --> 00:21:06,559
in shackles. Get ready to get shackled to somebody from

364
00:21:06,559 --> 00:21:10,480
our frat and like finish a bottle of champagne and

365
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:14,079
then there's gonna be more alcohol for you. Like it

366
00:21:14,079 --> 00:21:16,799
would be like a Tuesday, a Wednesday, you know. And

367
00:21:16,839 --> 00:21:20,400
then in college at UCLA specifically, and like I know,

368
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,359
at a lot of other schools, instead of Fridays, people

369
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,200
go out on Thursdays now and Fridays, but Thursday is

370
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:33,640
the new Friday. So like my local college bar does

371
00:21:33,799 --> 00:21:37,880
thirsty Thursdays, and so everybody's getting you know, if they're

372
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,720
in Greek life, they're getting fucked up on a Tuesday

373
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:44,000
or a Wednesday, and then they're going out Thursday, and

374
00:21:44,039 --> 00:21:46,599
then you're probably going to the frats on Friday, and

375
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,160
then you're going back out Saturday. Like I was not

376
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,119
used to that.

377
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 3: So, Hi, how do people like control it?

378
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,319
Speaker 1: Because I mean, you know, how do people learn to

379
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,359
like there are limits, especially when you're young and it's

380
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,440
such a party atmosphere and I know you've told me stories, Yeah,

381
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,720
a lot of stories about almost every event having something

382
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,599
to do with alcohol or some kind of at least

383
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,920
offering it to you. I mean as a I mean,

384
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000
are people like oh I can do I have a

385
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,759
test in the morning, or I mean.

386
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,079
Speaker 2: I think maybe just because I go to UCLA, I

387
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,680
have had a lot of times people being like hmmm,

388
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,000
like yeah, I'm not going to go because you know,

389
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,920
I have an exam tomorrow and I don't want to

390
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,960
be out, or like I'm not going to drink too much.

391
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,759
But like, as like silly as it sounds, I think

392
00:22:37,799 --> 00:22:41,160
a lot, Like a majority of people get it out

393
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,480
of their system in like freshman year, which is still shitty,

394
00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:47,920
Like I think you should still be like working hard

395
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,799
in your freshman year. But like I think a lot

396
00:22:50,799 --> 00:22:53,039
of the times people go a little crazy in freshman

397
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,160
year and then they realize and then they're like, oh,

398
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,400
like I kind of like was drinking every single wee

399
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,680
get and like a lot of people just get tired

400
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,319
of it. Like I talk to so many like seniors

401
00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:09,039
that I'm friends with because obviously I'm also a tour guide,

402
00:23:09,079 --> 00:23:13,200
so I have like friends from all different years, like

403
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,319
all different majors. Everybody in my friend group is like

404
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:21,960
very different, and I can confidently say that most of

405
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,640
the seniors are like either not going to the events

406
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,839
or showing up and getting like a little drunk demos

407
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,039
of the events and like but like showing up in

408
00:23:32,039 --> 00:23:36,960
their pajamas or like just being like, yeah, I got

409
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,880
a class in the morning, like I'm cool, I'm going

410
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,200
to pass on that. Whereas like the younger people, like

411
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:45,119
the freshmen, are always like, yeah, I'm ready to party,

412
00:23:45,559 --> 00:23:49,599
Like who's bringing the vodka? Like anybody got chasers? Like

413
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:53,000
what are we doing? What's blots, you know. So I

414
00:23:53,039 --> 00:23:55,160
feel like people kind of get out of their system

415
00:23:55,279 --> 00:23:59,319
and then they realize like, Okay, I'm tired, Like I

416
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,400
don't need to be going out four days or week

417
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,440
like it's exhausting. But it's hard to speak on because

418
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,759
I obviously have friends at other schools that are like

419
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,319
major party schools, like UCLA is not even really considered

420
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,160
a crazy party school. I have friends that go to

421
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,160
schools and like, you know, I don't even have any examples,

422
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,240
just friends that will be like, oh, your frats like

423
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:27,279
don't throw on some weekends like finals week. It's like, oh,

424
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,680
we have plans, like solid plans that we can go

425
00:24:30,759 --> 00:24:36,160
to Monday through Sunday. And I'm like, what, Like, I

426
00:24:36,319 --> 00:24:40,000
don't I don't understand how I still would not be

427
00:24:40,039 --> 00:24:42,240
able to do that. I don't understand how people do that, honestly.

428
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: So do you see like are there people not necessarily

429
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,720
like close to you, but people that you see or

430
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,119
that you know or acquaintances that like that you can

431
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,680
see a budding alcohol problem.

432
00:24:58,279 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 2: For sure one hundred percent. And it's it's kind of

433
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,680
one of those things where again it's not any of

434
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:07,240
my like direct people that I know because I probably

435
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,839
would have flagged that even sooner. But there are people that, like,

436
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,079
know my friends that I've been around and like partied

437
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,359
around and seen where it's kind of the same thing

438
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:23,480
in high school. I'm like this person. These people are

439
00:25:23,559 --> 00:25:29,799
getting like blacked out at every single function. They are

440
00:25:29,839 --> 00:25:35,400
like growing up after everything. And again that doesn't go

441
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,920
to say like I've obviously had horrible nights where I'm like,

442
00:25:39,599 --> 00:25:41,880
oh my god, like I feel so sick in the

443
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:47,200
morning or whatever, because I my hangovers be shitty sometimes,

444
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,880
like I wake up and I'm like, I didn't even

445
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,839
drink that much, Like why do I feel so gross?

446
00:25:52,079 --> 00:25:57,160
But I have people that are like don't remember any

447
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:02,079
of their night, Like most nights, almost every time we

448
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,160
go out, even if it's like a chill time and

449
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,880
like we're not even doing that much, there will be

450
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:11,480
people that are like throwing up, blacking out, like just

451
00:26:11,599 --> 00:26:15,759
drinking a lot, like and it's kind of hard because

452
00:26:15,799 --> 00:26:17,720
they're people that I'm not that close to, so I

453
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:24,440
can't really be like so and so like I'm a

454
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:30,119
little concerned for the amount that you are drinking, you know,

455
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,359
like it's like such a weird subject to people that

456
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,599
you're not like close with at all. But it's like

457
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,400
stuff that I'm like witnessing where I'm like this person,

458
00:26:41,599 --> 00:26:45,839
I don't think regardless of whatever terrible nights they've had,

459
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,000
like they don't know their limits at all, you know,

460
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,119
And it's like a parent for sure.

461
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 1: Do you think that having a mom who's in recovery

462
00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,519
makes you more cautious about your own drinking or do

463
00:27:00,559 --> 00:27:02,839
you think it you feel like it doesn't.

464
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it definitely makes me more cautious, Like

465
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,680
it makes me more aware. Especially when I have a

466
00:27:09,759 --> 00:27:13,960
bad night, I'm like, oh, like I know that that's

467
00:27:14,039 --> 00:27:16,960
not as normal, if that makes sense, because some people

468
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,920
will be like I don't remember my entire night. I

469
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,920
don't remember getting in the uber on the way to

470
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,799
the club, I don't remember being in the club. I

471
00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:26,519
don't remember getting kicked out of the club. I don't

472
00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:30,640
remember leaving the club, you know, Like and like even

473
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,880
if I have a night where I'm like, oh shit,

474
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,079
I don't remember like forty five minutes of like what

475
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:37,960
I was or like that was a very fuzzy like

476
00:27:38,799 --> 00:27:41,319
I know, like I clock it in my mind where

477
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:45,599
I'm like, oh that thank God, that that's not happening

478
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,359
every time, because I shouldn't be having so much that

479
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:53,559
I'm like not remembering anything, you know, like every single night,

480
00:27:53,599 --> 00:27:57,359
and I hate not remembering. That is the worst, because

481
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,880
I have the worst anxiety in the entire universe. I

482
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,960
will drink and I will remember my entire night top

483
00:28:04,039 --> 00:28:09,079
to bottom, and I will still wake up being like, Okay,

484
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,640
I didn't do anything. I didn't text anybody, dumb, right,

485
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,519
And I'll go through my phone and obviously I didn't

486
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:17,039
text anybody or post anything. But I will still wake

487
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,880
up being like, Okay, I know I talked to this person,

488
00:28:22,799 --> 00:28:25,160
but did I say anything stupid because I was drunk

489
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,200
and just didn't really care what I was saying, you know.

490
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:31,599
So like I just know, I think from having a

491
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,279
parent that's like sober that it's like should not be

492
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,920
blacking out every single time I drink. Like that's normal

493
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,119
because again in college, people kind of like we'll have

494
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,519
a full blackout and they'll be like, hey, he like

495
00:28:44,839 --> 00:28:47,480
that was so funny, Like I don't remember anything I did,

496
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,680
and like sure, if that happens every once in a while,

497
00:28:51,759 --> 00:28:55,079
you're like, oh god, like that's that sucks. But like whatever,

498
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:58,279
but there will be some people that are not remembering

499
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,799
entire weekends and being like that's so funny, Like I

500
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,559
you know, it was a good weekend when you don't

501
00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:07,079
remember a single second of Friday, Saturday and Sunday, And

502
00:29:07,119 --> 00:29:11,720
I'm like, no, actually, like that. That should not be

503
00:29:11,839 --> 00:29:15,400
happening right right right. We should be able to go

504
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:20,400
out and have like a couple drinks and have fun

505
00:29:20,839 --> 00:29:24,759
and not have to literally not remember a single second

506
00:29:24,839 --> 00:29:26,079
to know that we had a fun night, you know

507
00:29:26,119 --> 00:29:26,480
what I mean?

508
00:29:26,839 --> 00:29:31,839
Speaker 1: Yes, what's the worst? I feel like there's been two

509
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,039
for you. Too bad drinking.

510
00:29:33,799 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 2: Nights, too bad, drinking nights, incage.

511
00:29:35,759 --> 00:29:38,839
Speaker 1: I've got to say, though, I mean, and maybe there's

512
00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:41,599
more that you didn't tell me about because one of

513
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:47,079
them I knew about because uh, because I witnessed it

514
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:48,240
in the morning.

515
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:53,559
Speaker 2: Yes, that was low point for me, for sure. I

516
00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:57,680
could talk about it both. I don't care. Okay, yeah,

517
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,440
I've had a couple. What do you want me to say?

518
00:29:59,559 --> 00:30:00,240
Just tell them? Uh?

519
00:30:01,079 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's interesting because hold on, I'm interviewing Albie,

520
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:16,519
our daughter. Okay, it was our dog needed to go out,

521
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:21,640
our dog. I don't know if you know people Okay,

522
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:27,279
I don't recall. The thing is I picked you up

523
00:30:27,799 --> 00:30:32,640
and you were really hungover, and I was I want

524
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,440
to hear like from your perspective, because like there was

525
00:30:35,519 --> 00:30:38,079
no judgment from me at all, attack you know, I mean,

526
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,839
it's the the amount of times that you've had a

527
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:45,960
bad experience with alcohol is like one billionth of the

528
00:30:46,039 --> 00:30:48,839
times that I've had a bad experience with alcohol. So like,

529
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,759
I am nobody to judge, and I was hoping to

530
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:57,000
like help you out, and but yeah, that it seemed

531
00:30:57,039 --> 00:30:57,720
like a bad time.

532
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that was like the worst morning I've

533
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:09,559
ever experienced. For everybody wondering I went to. This was

534
00:31:09,599 --> 00:31:12,640
of course no shade. I would never say what sorority

535
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,839
I'm in because it's not their fault. But I was

536
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,279
with my sorority at the time, and we were having

537
00:31:18,279 --> 00:31:24,480
an event with a frat and I went to this event.

538
00:31:24,559 --> 00:31:27,359
It was like a It wasn't a date party. It

539
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,599
was just like a little thing where you have, like

540
00:31:30,759 --> 00:31:33,119
the sororities have a specific event where you go to

541
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,759
a venue and it's just with one frat, like it's

542
00:31:35,799 --> 00:31:37,039
like with the two of them. I think it was

543
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:40,240
a pinning where like one person from the sorority is

544
00:31:40,279 --> 00:31:43,000
like dating somebody from another frat, so they do like

545
00:31:43,039 --> 00:31:46,559
a little like kind of fake wedding type beat, but

546
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,920
except the girls in red doesn't matter. Unimportant. You go

547
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,680
to a venue with another frat, and the frat that

548
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,119
we went to happened to be the frat of my

549
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:01,400
first UCLA little boo than who ended up being a

550
00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:05,599
total daycad, but we won't talk about that. Anyways, he

551
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,799
was there and I think he either was still hitting

552
00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:12,160
on me or felt sorry for being a dick to me,

553
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,799
so he was like, Hey, I'll buy you drinks. Don't worry,

554
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,200
I'll buy you alcohol, and I was like, okay, cool.

555
00:32:18,559 --> 00:32:21,039
I'd already had a little before I was leaving, but

556
00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:22,880
barely any because I knew I was going to be

557
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,440
drinking there. Obviously, I wasn't planning on drinking a lot

558
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,119
there because I was like, I have work in the morning,

559
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,359
don't do that, you know. So I'd had like a

560
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,400
little because I just knew it was going to be

561
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,160
a minute before we even went to the venue. We

562
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:38,880
were going to the house first because we had to

563
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,200
do a whole thing. So I was like, whatever, wasn't

564
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,880
expecting there to be alcohol at the house. There was

565
00:32:44,359 --> 00:32:45,880
so all my friends were at the house, and I

566
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,160
was like, okay, I'll have like a tiny bit. Still

567
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,680
was not that drunk at all when we get to

568
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,279
the venue, but this guy is like buying me drink

569
00:32:53,319 --> 00:32:55,559
after drink after drink, and I'm like, oh, like whatever,

570
00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:57,519
it's funny. I'll take one. I'll take one. I'll take

571
00:32:57,559 --> 00:32:59,920
one like blah blah blah blah blah. And then you

572
00:33:00,119 --> 00:33:02,440
get to the point where you are drunk enough to

573
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,160
where you don't think you're gonna be too drunk if

574
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,839
you take another shot. But then that's my problem. Yeah,

575
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:15,559
I was gonna say, I usually don't get to that point.

576
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,079
My my problem is when I get too drunk, it's

577
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,200
because I drink them too fast, you know, so like

578
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,839
I'm usually not so drunk that I'm like taking another one.

579
00:33:26,519 --> 00:33:30,759
It's usually because I fucked up and paste myself wrong

580
00:33:31,319 --> 00:33:34,200
and was like not drunk at all or like a

581
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,240
little tipsy, and then I took a few and then

582
00:33:37,359 --> 00:33:41,240
suddenly I'm like, oh my god, like twenty minutes later,

583
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,000
I'm like going from tipsy to like really drunk, you know.

584
00:33:44,759 --> 00:33:51,319
Like my thing is not normally like drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink,

585
00:33:51,319 --> 00:33:54,240
and then you just keep going like but this one

586
00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:58,160
was like I drank quite a bit and then I

587
00:33:58,279 --> 00:34:05,640
was drunk, but not like ridiculous, and then I was like,

588
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:11,159
all of a sudden boom, like I'm like fucked up

589
00:34:11,519 --> 00:34:16,039
beyond anything, like I don't remember all. The last thing

590
00:34:16,039 --> 00:34:19,559
I remember was being at the venue. And then I

591
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,679
woke up the next morning with a bag hanging on

592
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,480
my bed from my roommates who barged into my room

593
00:34:27,559 --> 00:34:30,360
and they were like I woke up and I was

594
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,719
like what the fuck? And I knew something was bad

595
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:39,599
when my roommate goes, oh, wait, are you okay? Like

596
00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:43,159
are you good? And I was like what do you mean?

597
00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:47,599
And she goes, do you not like remember anything that happened?

598
00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:50,559
And I was like wait, what the fuck. My other

599
00:34:50,639 --> 00:34:53,239
roommate then barges into my room and goes, I'll be

600
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,000
your mom is like frantically texting me right now you

601
00:34:57,079 --> 00:34:58,320
have work, and I.

602
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: Was like, oh.

603
00:35:01,599 --> 00:35:06,119
Speaker 2: My god, I like shoot up in my bed, feeling

604
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,079
absolutely disgusting. I have never been this hung over my

605
00:35:10,199 --> 00:35:14,800
entire life. I am so nauseous there's like throw up

606
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,639
like on my shirt. Because they couldn't get off me.

607
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,119
They wanted to get me in my bed and they

608
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:24,679
were like, you need to shower, like you for sure

609
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,000
need to shower. And I was like why and they

610
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,440
were like, you threw up last night for like three

611
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:34,599
hours straight. And I was like sobbing, like I wake

612
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:39,119
up like absolutely in hysterics. My phone is dead. I

613
00:35:39,199 --> 00:35:41,519
like text my mom. I'm like, oh my fucking god,

614
00:35:41,559 --> 00:35:44,719
I'm so sorry, Like you can come get me right now.

615
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:48,599
Like my clothes are here, like I have my word pants, YadA, YadA, YadA.

616
00:35:49,079 --> 00:35:50,920
I run through the shower. I don't even have time

617
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,400
to dry my hair. I just put it up in

618
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,280
a little claw clip and pray that it looks I draw.

619
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,239
I dried my bangs actually so that something looked to dry.

620
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,320
And then my roommates meanwhile are recapping me. And they're

621
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,119
kind of like laughing at this point because not because

622
00:36:06,119 --> 00:36:08,719
they're like thinking it's nothing, but because they're just like

623
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,440
relieved that I'm like awake and like functioning and that

624
00:36:12,519 --> 00:36:15,239
I just kind of feel sick, you know, like whatever.

625
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:22,960
But they were like, yeah, this random freshman boy from

626
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,079
the frat had to like like walked you back to

627
00:36:27,159 --> 00:36:30,519
the bus to come back to UCLA and then walked

628
00:36:30,559 --> 00:36:33,960
you home. But you didn't really know where you live.

629
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:36,400
You just kept saying I live near in and Out.

630
00:36:36,559 --> 00:36:38,679
I live near in and Out. Didn't know where to

631
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,480
go from there, so we were calling your phone, which

632
00:36:42,519 --> 00:36:46,639
is at like two percent, which I was just I

633
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,280
had no idea, and they were like, thank god. He

634
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,440
picked up your phone and was like hello, and they

635
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,800
were we were like, who the fuck is this. He

636
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:59,239
was like, this is blah blah blah from frat. I'm

637
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:04,639
at I'm on Gaily right now. And they were like, okay,

638
00:37:04,679 --> 00:37:06,280
are you like in front of the stairs and he

639
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,400
was like yeah. She keeps saying she lives near in

640
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,760
and Out, but she doesn't already go So my roommates

641
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:15,440
came down got me. Thank god. This was like the

642
00:37:15,559 --> 00:37:17,880
nicest person I ever could have gotten left with as

643
00:37:18,039 --> 00:37:22,119
this fraut. He was the like sweetest freshman boy ever,

644
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,079
zero ill intentions. He came with my roommates to make

645
00:37:26,079 --> 00:37:27,719
sure I was okay. He was like, I'm going to

646
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,760
come up and make sure she's good so I can

647
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,360
like go home knowing she's okay. So he like came

648
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,519
up to my apartment with my roommates, sat asked them

649
00:37:37,519 --> 00:37:41,239
if I needed anything, and they were like, she's our roommate,

650
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,119
don't worry about it, like you can go like whatever,

651
00:37:43,639 --> 00:37:46,119
and he was like, okay, just making sure, so nice

652
00:37:46,159 --> 00:37:48,360
to me after that. By the way, that was probably

653
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,920
part of the best case scenario is he was a

654
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,559
really nice guy. Could have gone away different route, which

655
00:37:53,599 --> 00:37:57,400
is terrible. But I ended up having to go to

656
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:03,039
work hung over a shit was terrible, and that was

657
00:38:03,079 --> 00:38:08,840
like my worst night because I didn't remember anything. Like

658
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,800
I said, last thing I remembered was being at the

659
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,159
bar talking to the guy who sucked me over because

660
00:38:14,199 --> 00:38:17,920
he kept buying me eight billion shots like over and

661
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,400
over again. I'm be able tequila and I don't even

662
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,440
like tequila. That's the worst part. I fucking hate.

663
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,079
Speaker 3: Two questions. One is.

664
00:38:27,559 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: I mean, as as a mom of college age child

665
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,440
and soon to be college age kids, I'm so worried

666
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,320
about this, Like you know, like roofie culture, like yeah,

667
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,519
happens a lot. So how do you guys protect yourselves

668
00:38:43,519 --> 00:38:46,920
against that because that like that kind of situation, you

669
00:38:47,639 --> 00:38:49,920
might have been drugged or you could get drugged or

670
00:38:50,159 --> 00:38:53,719
I remember texting you an article when you'd first started

671
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,960
school about that at UCLA, on the UCLA campus, a

672
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,079
couple of hour drugging incidents had happened.

673
00:38:59,519 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the scary part that I'll say is

674
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,960
like a lot of my friends, like, even though I've

675
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,840
told them the situation, still think I did get druggs

676
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:12,360
because I literally told them, Like I don't think I drank.

677
00:39:12,679 --> 00:39:15,440
Like not that I should be like bragging about this

678
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,039
to you, but like I'm not a lightweight, like I

679
00:39:18,079 --> 00:39:21,280
can handle, like, especially if I'd eaten I can handle

680
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,840
like a solid, very solid about of alcohol without getting

681
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,199
like really fucked up, you know. Like and like that's

682
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,840
not to say that I'm like downing twelve shots every

683
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,880
time I go out, because that would still have me crazy.

684
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,920
But like I know that if I have two or three,

685
00:39:37,559 --> 00:39:40,920
I'm not gonna be like slosh, you know, Like I

686
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,480
know that I'm still going to be very much good, functional,

687
00:39:44,679 --> 00:39:47,719
feeling good, you know. Whereas like I have some friends

688
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,480
that will take two and they're like out of commission

689
00:39:51,599 --> 00:39:55,480
for like three hours, you know. So my friends were

690
00:39:55,519 --> 00:40:01,079
like confused because I had eaten a big dinner before

691
00:40:01,119 --> 00:40:03,760
I went out like I made sure that I ate

692
00:40:04,079 --> 00:40:06,480
I had, like I can't remember. I think I probably

693
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,760
do or to ask them thing because I'm a lazy bitch,

694
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:15,119
but I sue me. But I, you know, ordered a

695
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:19,559
fat dinner, ate the whole thing, and my roommates were

696
00:40:19,599 --> 00:40:24,199
there they saw me have, Like I didn't even take

697
00:40:24,199 --> 00:40:26,039
a shot before I went out. I think I made

698
00:40:26,119 --> 00:40:28,960
myself a drink while I was getting ready, so I

699
00:40:29,039 --> 00:40:32,559
was like not really feeling it. And then I was

700
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:36,159
with one of my roommates at my sorority house before

701
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,239
she also saw because she remembered. She was like, you

702
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,639
barely drank anything at the apartment. You barely drank anything

703
00:40:43,679 --> 00:40:49,599
at censored And she was like, and I from what

704
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,199
I saw because she left a little bit early, but

705
00:40:52,519 --> 00:40:56,519
I was like pretty blacked out, like very soon after

706
00:40:56,559 --> 00:41:00,440
she left. She was like, I was watching you at

707
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,920
the venue, not because you were with I mean, not

708
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,079
because you were drinking too much, but because you were

709
00:41:06,079 --> 00:41:09,400
with mister shithead, and I wanted to see what he

710
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,599
wanted from you. But she was like, I didn't even

711
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,679
see you drink that much when you were with him,

712
00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:20,239
So I mean it's that situation is also scary because

713
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,159
it is kind of hard to tell, Like I don't

714
00:41:22,199 --> 00:41:24,920
remember drinking that much while I was there, and suddenly

715
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,519
I was didn't remember anything. So a lot of my

716
00:41:28,599 --> 00:41:31,440
roommates and like a lot of my friends do think

717
00:41:31,519 --> 00:41:34,760
I possibly did get roofeed, which is like the worst,

718
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,079
because I remember it was really scary. I woke up

719
00:41:38,119 --> 00:41:42,400
the next morning and my roommates were like, we need

720
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,119
to like google symptoms of like getting roofeed, because like,

721
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,039
I don't think you drank enough to be blacked out

722
00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:51,119
for hours at a time and be throwing up for

723
00:41:51,159 --> 00:41:55,360
four hours and waking up like I was sick all

724
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,039
day all day, like you saw, my mom brought me

725
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,360
McDonald's shut out a lot. I left work early, and

726
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,760
I came and sat in my bed and ate McDonald's

727
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,960
and slept for like five hours to try to sleep

728
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,679
it off. But they were like, yeah, the symptoms of

729
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:15,960
like getting roofeed is you black out like pretty much instantly,

730
00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:18,320
and then you wake up with like the worst hangover

731
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,760
of your life, which was that. So I was like,

732
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,599
it's kind of hard to say whether I did just

733
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,159
like take too many shots and wouldn't know, or if

734
00:42:28,159 --> 00:42:30,400
I did like get something put in my drink because

735
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,719
I was with a shitty frat, you know, so like

736
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,639
it's kind of hard to tell, which is scary, and

737
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,239
that that was also one of the only situations I

738
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,679
noticed where I wasn't around a lot of girls that

739
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:45,039
I know, if that makes sense, because my roommate not

740
00:42:45,159 --> 00:42:47,920
her fault at all, by the way, not that I'm

741
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,519
even saying who it is, but not her fault at all.

742
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,760
She left early because she just like was not feeling great,

743
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,519
and like there were other girls I was friends with there,

744
00:42:56,559 --> 00:42:59,719
so I think she assumed, like, obviously I'm not gonna

745
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:03,880
like go crazy. I think this was like worst case scenario,

746
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,159
and she felt so bad that she'd left. But I

747
00:43:07,199 --> 00:43:09,519
think that was one of the scenarios where I was

748
00:43:09,599 --> 00:43:12,159
not with a ton of people that I'm like comfortable

749
00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:14,880
with and like know where I live. Like nobody else

750
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,159
there really knew where I lived, which is the problem.

751
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,280
But I think to like protect myself and kind of

752
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,519
like stay out of those scenarios. Ninety nine percent of

753
00:43:24,559 --> 00:43:28,400
the time I go out with people, usually I don't

754
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,639
like to go out with to frats. When I or

755
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,239
with frats. When I do go to frats, I am

756
00:43:35,519 --> 00:43:41,400
with my friends the entire time, and I'm also usually thankfully,

757
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,000
I feel like we've avoided this a little bit frats

758
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,840
these days, at least at UCLA, I can say, don't

759
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,400
really have a lot of hard liquor. It's all pretty

760
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,519
much beer or seltzer's, which are a lot harder to roofye,

761
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:58,079
But I usually don't ever put something down. If I do,

762
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,159
it's usually because I'm not going to finish it, you know,

763
00:44:01,519 --> 00:44:04,280
Like I never put down like an old seltzer that

764
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,760
I'm drinking to like come back to it. I always

765
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,840
hold it right here or right here. I'm never holding

766
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:11,199
it like this.

767
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 3: So sad that we even have to think that way.

768
00:44:14,559 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 2: I know it's it's shitty. But like, if I'm ever

769
00:44:18,519 --> 00:44:21,400
like drinking like a drink that like would have been

770
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,320
able to really like get, you know, drugged, it's usually

771
00:44:25,639 --> 00:44:29,159
at my apartment with my closest girlfriends and whoever's over

772
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,039
that's pregaming, which is ninety five percent also just a

773
00:44:32,079 --> 00:44:34,239
bunch of girls. Yeah, we never really have too many

774
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:39,360
guys in my apartment. But I think in LA at least,

775
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,239
which I think this can apply to some other schools

776
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,400
that aren't as much like like I feel like Westwood

777
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,000
is a college town, but also UCLA is very much

778
00:44:49,079 --> 00:44:51,760
like instead of going to frats every weekend, you go

779
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,440
to frats maybe for a day, and then you go

780
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,280
to a club or like a bar, and I feel

781
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,719
like those are a lot easier to have somebody put

782
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,320
something your drink because you are drinking like mixed drinks,

783
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:07,719
but a lot. I'm very thankful that me and a

784
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,280
lot of my friends all have the same mindset where

785
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:14,800
we always go to the bathroom with like more than

786
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:16,920
one person, Like we never go to the bathroom alone,

787
00:45:17,159 --> 00:45:19,840
but we also never leave the table by ourselfs So

788
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:24,079
like if we are drinking something and we want to

789
00:45:24,119 --> 00:45:26,960
stay at the table, we will just make sure one

790
00:45:27,079 --> 00:45:30,559
or two people stay and watch our drinks on the

791
00:45:30,599 --> 00:45:34,119
table if we can't bring them and then to whoever

792
00:45:34,159 --> 00:45:38,280
else goes to the bathroom, or if we all leaving

793
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,559
the table, we either take our drinks with us or

794
00:45:40,599 --> 00:45:43,000
we leave them knowing that we are not going to

795
00:45:43,079 --> 00:45:46,079
come back to them, you know. Yeah, So like it's

796
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:52,440
it's very like that situation was obviously like a scary

797
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,159
one because, like I said, it was one of the

798
00:45:54,159 --> 00:45:57,119
ones where I wasn't sure like, there was not that

799
00:45:57,159 --> 00:45:58,840
many people that I knew, so it was a lot

800
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,960
easier for me to like get in that situation. And

801
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,440
I think since then, I've also gotten my like not

802
00:46:05,639 --> 00:46:09,079
really put myself in situations at all where that could happen.

803
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 1: Let me ask you one more thing, which is.

804
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 3: So you have.

805
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,199
Speaker 1: Through the years you have you have social anxiety. I

806
00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:25,920
can say that, yes, of course not all biological girl.

807
00:46:26,599 --> 00:46:28,559
No no, no, you and you've done a lot of

808
00:46:29,159 --> 00:46:32,320
work around it.

809
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 3: You've gotten a lot better, but you still have it.

810
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:40,599
Speaker 1: And I've always worried a little bit as a mom,

811
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:45,119
you know, because a lot of people drink to ease anxiety,

812
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,239
that's you know. And even before you started drinking, it

813
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,559
was like a concern of mine that that you would

814
00:46:50,679 --> 00:46:53,760
drink and then go like, oh my god, I don't

815
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,760
feel anxious in a social situation because I'm having a drink.

816
00:46:59,039 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 2: Does that?

817
00:46:59,599 --> 00:47:05,039
Speaker 1: Like, how have you been aware of because I have

818
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,679
how do I put this? I have noticed that you

819
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,320
don't seem to rely on alcohol as a crutch in

820
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:15,079
those situations, and that you do try to push through

821
00:47:15,119 --> 00:47:18,280
situations which make you uncomfortable to get the practice of

822
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,239
like yeah, and you don't seem to have a lot

823
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:24,159
of problems being in social situations. But have you found

824
00:47:24,199 --> 00:47:28,119
it difficult to not always drink in a situation that

825
00:47:28,159 --> 00:47:29,079
makes you uncomfortable?

826
00:47:30,199 --> 00:47:33,039
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I mean, it's definitely like a

827
00:47:33,119 --> 00:47:35,760
case by case basis, like there are definitely people that

828
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:40,360
are like at before everything, like I need to drink.

829
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,079
I need to drink. I need to drink. And I

830
00:47:42,119 --> 00:47:44,880
won't say that I've never been in a situation where

831
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:49,480
I was like, you know what, I'm gonna like make

832
00:47:49,519 --> 00:47:51,599
myself a little drinky before we go to this because

833
00:47:51,639 --> 00:47:54,199
I'm low key really scared and I don't know anybody

834
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,079
or whatever like I would. I'm not gonna be somebody

835
00:47:57,079 --> 00:48:01,280
that's like I've never done that. But I will say

836
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:05,639
like in most scenarios, I think just because I know

837
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:08,400
I have anxiety, so it kind of makes me a

838
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:12,480
little more hyper aware of like I know that I

839
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:16,159
would be more susceptible to wanting to drink before a

840
00:48:16,159 --> 00:48:20,639
social function because I'm like an anxious person. But I

841
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:26,000
think I make myself do stuff that I don't like

842
00:48:26,199 --> 00:48:29,039
to do or that I'm not comfortable with without alcohol

843
00:48:29,159 --> 00:48:31,800
so that I know that I can be fine without

844
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:36,480
alcohol because then it makes me want to do it less,

845
00:48:36,559 --> 00:48:39,599
like because there are a lot of nights too, Like

846
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,440
as much as I have drank in college, there are

847
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:46,079
also a lot of nights where we'll be doing something

848
00:48:46,119 --> 00:48:48,320
and I'm just like, I'm so down to go out,

849
00:48:48,639 --> 00:48:52,000
but like I do not feel like drinking, Like I

850
00:48:52,119 --> 00:48:54,800
just don't want to. But I feel like if I

851
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,960
were a more like person that relied on alcohol to

852
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,400
be anxious, I feel like I would. It's good that

853
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:05,039
I don't force myself to drink just because I don't

854
00:49:05,039 --> 00:49:08,599
want to feel anxious, Yeah, if that makes sense. Like

855
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:12,159
I like being able to be like I don't want

856
00:49:12,159 --> 00:49:15,239
to drink, and like I know I don't have to

857
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,880
to have fun. And obviously there are some nights where

858
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,840
I'm the only one that's sober, and I'm like, I

859
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,760
would love to be drunk right now, Like everybody looks

860
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,079
like they're having a great time, and I'm like not

861
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:32,800
having the best time. But on the flip side of that,

862
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,119
there are also a lot of times where somebody will

863
00:49:35,159 --> 00:49:37,880
get too drunk and I'm sober, and I'm like, first

864
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,599
of all, I'm having a great time without being sober,

865
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:43,519
Like there are plenty of nights where I'm like, I'm

866
00:49:43,519 --> 00:49:46,639
having a great time. I'm sipping on my little sprite,

867
00:49:47,159 --> 00:49:52,280
you know, I'm I'm so happy that I'm going to

868
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:56,719
wake up tomorrow morning feeling fresh and like not worried

869
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,480
if I texted somebody that I shouldn't be texting. And

870
00:50:00,519 --> 00:50:03,039
then on top of that, I know that I'm like

871
00:50:03,079 --> 00:50:06,760
a overall responsible person. So I'm happy that I've been

872
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:10,599
the sober one in a lot of situations where somebody

873
00:50:10,639 --> 00:50:12,679
needs to be taken care of, and I'll be in

874
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,000
my head being like, I am so glad that this

875
00:50:15,079 --> 00:50:17,480
is not me right now, Like I'm so glad that

876
00:50:17,639 --> 00:50:21,719
I'm here to make sure that they're good, like I'm

877
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,559
There's been a ton of situations you know which one

878
00:50:24,599 --> 00:50:28,280
I'm referencing, probably, but I won't share where I last

879
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,920
minute decided I don't feel like drinking, and I ended

880
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,840
up having a car, which was very necessary in some

881
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,920
of these situations where I needed to end up driving

882
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,079
people home that would have had to call an uber

883
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:42,480
and I don't think I would have felt safe sending

884
00:50:42,559 --> 00:50:46,559
them in an uber. Or I've been in situations where

885
00:50:47,199 --> 00:50:52,159
I had to uber home with somebody because I was sober,

886
00:50:52,199 --> 00:50:54,360
but I didn't drink because there was no parking. Like,

887
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,400
we went to a club and I was just like ugh.

888
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,960
And I've had friends who ended up getting so drunk

889
00:51:00,079 --> 00:51:02,000
that they don't they can't even go in because they

890
00:51:02,039 --> 00:51:05,199
have to go home, or they're like feeling like shit

891
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:09,400
inside the club. And I'm sober and you know, kind

892
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:14,119
of good with my night already, and I'm like, here,

893
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,480
I don't want you to get an uber by yourself.

894
00:51:17,079 --> 00:51:18,719
Let me come with you and like make sure that

895
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,000
you're okay and take care of you. And again, like

896
00:51:21,039 --> 00:51:25,679
I said, I am just like always more than anything.

897
00:51:26,159 --> 00:51:28,760
There has never been a night I don't think where

898
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,239
I was like I'm so thankful that I was drunk,

899
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,599
you know, like even in situations where I knew I

900
00:51:36,599 --> 00:51:39,719
would be uncomfortable, if that makes sense. I don't think

901
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,800
there's ever been a time where I went to something

902
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:47,400
feeling uncomfortable and then I was like, damn, I really

903
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,559
should have had a couple drinks before I went out.

904
00:51:50,199 --> 00:51:53,360
But there's always been nights where I'm like, I'm really

905
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:57,480
thankful I didn't drink, you know, which is like I

906
00:51:57,519 --> 00:51:58,320
try to keep in mind.

907
00:51:58,519 --> 00:52:02,039
Speaker 3: It seems to me in a positive way.

908
00:52:02,679 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 1: Your I sound so old going your generation, but it

909
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,360
seems like a lot of times when you go out,

910
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,480
there seems to be at least a few people that

911
00:52:10,519 --> 00:52:12,400
you're like, oh, so and so didn't drink at all,

912
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,719
Like that person drove me because they didn't drink tonight.

913
00:52:16,039 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I feel very lucky because I feel

914
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,880
like the people I surround myself with, like all my friends,

915
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,800
all my roommates for sure, a lot of my college friends,

916
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,519
like my direct friends pretty much ninety five percent of

917
00:52:28,559 --> 00:52:32,519
the time, are very responsible. Like of course all of

918
00:52:32,519 --> 00:52:34,159
my friends have had their nights where we all have

919
00:52:34,159 --> 00:52:35,880
to take turns, skate, taking care of each other. I

920
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,800
feel like, unfortunately that is normal, like that's college. But

921
00:52:40,039 --> 00:52:42,039
I feel lucky that like a lot of my friend

922
00:52:42,079 --> 00:52:46,280
group is very responsible, and like I think they all

923
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,360
have a very similar mindset to me, where they're like

924
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,960
sometimes they're like I don't feel like it, like i'll drive,

925
00:52:52,199 --> 00:52:55,639
you know what, I'll drive, I'll do this, like I'll

926
00:52:55,639 --> 00:52:58,880
stay sober, Like I think I'm just gonna have one drink.

927
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,199
I'm not going to drink there, or you know, like whatever.

928
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,400
I feel like a lot of people I know, are

929
00:53:03,679 --> 00:53:07,280
in that mindset, which is very refreshing because then everybody

930
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,559
feels safe and they're like, there is going to be

931
00:53:09,599 --> 00:53:12,239
somebody here who like could drive me home, or could

932
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,320
take care of me, or you know or whatever. It's nice.

933
00:53:15,679 --> 00:53:18,719
It's and I definitely think it's common with my age

934
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,639
group at this point.

935
00:53:20,199 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 1: Your age group, which by the way, is you're only twenty.

936
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,599
You're not actually even league to drink yet, I mean

937
00:53:27,679 --> 00:53:28,639
not according to your ID.

938
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:33,679
Speaker 3: Obviously, I have the worst.

939
00:53:34,119 --> 00:53:36,599
Speaker 2: I have the worst fake ID inhuman I just want

940
00:53:36,639 --> 00:53:40,480
to say before I go that I showed my face

941
00:53:40,519 --> 00:53:43,079
to somebody the other day and they were like, oh what.

942
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:46,960
The girls they were like me. They were like, well,

943
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:48,840
you're not a bouncer wape.

944
00:53:49,079 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

945
00:53:49,559 --> 00:53:51,840
Speaker 2: They were like you get in places with this, and

946
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:56,760
I'm like, oh, it scans right, it does. I'm like,

947
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:00,000
I just like walk in and give them like little

948
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and also I'm like with the promoters, so they kind

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of they kind of they kind of just assume I'm

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not twenty one.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, Again, Helby, thank you for being here, Thank you

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for being in your bedroom us. Thank you for making

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the time.

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Speaker 2: Go walk down the hall in like two seconds to

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say hey but love you.

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Speaker 3: Thanks everybody. Hope you learned something I did. Yay, all

957
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right bye, it's doing me.

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Speaker 2: Good good again. Good Dark