Speaker 1: And here we go with a Minnesota good bye. Good
Speaker 1: morning is our first email says good morning, well, good morning.
Speaker 1: Want to write in and let you know. My baby
Speaker 1: girl has already won. She had her birthday party last weekend.
Speaker 2: She did great.
Speaker 1: Now the reason she brings this up is because she
Speaker 1: sent us. She came to the state Fair and we
Speaker 1: met her little baby girl last summer. And there's a
Speaker 1: picture of me holding the baby girl and her name
Speaker 1: is Christine. The baby I don't know what the baby's
Speaker 1: name is, but little baby Christine or the baby is.
Speaker 1: I'm holding the baby and the baby's doing the baby
Speaker 1: thing where they put their hands on your face. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're dirty, little gritty baby little hands, baby little hand.
Speaker 1: But I don't mind. I've had I've had worse on
Speaker 1: my face.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I bet a lot of moms understand this feeling. But
Speaker 1: I did not expect to get emotional. At her birthday party.
Speaker 1: We sat down, gave her her smash cake, saying happy Birthday.
Speaker 1: She loved the attention, was smiling while singing. Something came
Speaker 1: over me and I started to get teary eyed. She
Speaker 1: is my first born. So this year has been full
Speaker 1: of ups and downs, learning how to be a mother,
Speaker 1: learning how to take care of myself and my needs
Speaker 1: on top of taking care of a little human baby,
Speaker 1: making sure your spouse is happy, the house is clean,
Speaker 1: there's dinner on the table. The list could go on
Speaker 1: and on. Our lives turned upside down. We're doing all
Speaker 1: of that at the same time, watching our bundle of
Speaker 1: joy grow, meet milestones and turn from a little alien
Speaker 1: into a little person. It got to me and I
Speaker 1: teared up.
Speaker 2: Dave.
Speaker 1: I would ask, does watching them grow get easier from here?
Speaker 1: But I already know the answer. It's no, it won't
Speaker 1: be easier. Hopefully I can keep my tears in after
Speaker 1: we sing Happy Birthday next year. Haha. Just want to
Speaker 1: throw it out there to all first time moms this year,
Speaker 1: you got this, you can do it. You're doing amazing.
Speaker 1: And to all the alumni moms out there, I admire you,
Speaker 1: Thank you, and now have a big old glass of
Speaker 1: wine and relax. You deserve it. Yes, And she said,
Speaker 1: I have another question now, but it's really a little
Speaker 1: bit irrelevant to the show, so we'll save that for
Speaker 1: another time. And she wants say Minnesota goodbye, sticker, so
Speaker 1: we will send her in Minnesota goodbye sticker. Thank you, Christine,
Speaker 1: I've seen. It's really weird because I think the best
Speaker 1: analogy is when you're a kid, you can't imagine graduating
Speaker 1: from high school because it's so far down the road.
Speaker 1: Even when you're in eighth grade, graduating from high school,
Speaker 1: that's so far down the road, until one day you
Speaker 1: graduate from high school. I never thought this day would come,
Speaker 1: but here I am. It's high school graduation and it's
Speaker 1: a little bit emotionally overwhelming because you can't quite absorb
Speaker 1: the fact that you're done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's a milestone, so it's like, Okay, well
Speaker 3: what's next kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you couldn't.
Speaker 1: And it's the same with raising kids, because when you're
Speaker 1: in the thick of things, you can't ever imagine that
Speaker 1: one day and you know it'll come where your kids
Speaker 1: are grown and they're out of the house and you
Speaker 1: know it's coming, and you try to Like I remember
Speaker 1: when Carson was little, I knew he was my last one,
Speaker 1: and I remember specifically sitting into the kitchen going, I
Speaker 1: want to hang on to this moment because there he
Speaker 1: was doing something next to me, like building legos or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I said, I want to hang on to this
Speaker 1: moment and make it last. Well, you can't. You remember
Speaker 1: the moments for sure, but then one day you will
Speaker 1: realize that that moment is there when all your kids
Speaker 1: are grown and they're gone, and it is. It's a
Speaker 1: hard thing. It's a hard adjustment. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I think the one thing that really helped me was
Speaker 1: realizing how excited Carson was to be eighteen, graduated and
Speaker 1: going to college.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it.
Speaker 1: Wasn't happy for me, But then I realized it's not
Speaker 1: about me, It's about him.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: Oh man, I'm telling you, if I ever become a parent,
Speaker 4: I'm going to struggle so much with milestones and stuff
Speaker 4: like that because I'm such a nostalgic person. When we
Speaker 4: were seniors in high school, there was a group of
Speaker 4: us that ran our school store because we were selected
Speaker 4: from the Decca class, and I would get emotional, like
Speaker 4: months leading up, like this is so sad. These are
Speaker 4: our final days in high school. Like we're all going
Speaker 4: around the state to different states. We're never going to
Speaker 4: see each other for college and stuff, and everyone would
Speaker 4: make fun of me and I'm like no, but seriously,
Speaker 4: like these are like the moment. So I just I
Speaker 4: picture myself if I ever become a mother, just struggling
Speaker 4: with all the miles. So I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 4: Definitely the moving out after high school, well.
Speaker 1: That'll be yare hard. It is hard, but there's also
Speaker 1: a lot of lasts. So during Carson's senior year, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is his last Christmas concert, this is
Speaker 1: his last spring break, this is his last whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But I will tell you, you get through it, and
Speaker 1: you and you see them grow and you see them,
Speaker 1: you know, become their own person, and you're kind of
Speaker 1: glad for him because you don't want the alternative where
Speaker 1: they stay home and they work at Jimmy John's and
Speaker 1: live in the basement, play video games and masturbate all day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be rough.
Speaker 4: Well, you never know, Carson might come home at some point. Yeah,
Speaker 4: my younger sister's living at home right now.
Speaker 1: I had a sister that moved back to my mom
Speaker 1: and dad's house, probably six or eight times. She would
Speaker 1: move out and then she would move back. I think
Speaker 1: she was probably even like forty ish years old. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and still off and on living at mom and dad's house.
Speaker 3: I mean, my mom would love it if I moved
Speaker 3: back in just so she would have someone to hang
Speaker 3: out with. Yeah, yeah, I will not.
Speaker 1: But if you move back in, I know you won't
Speaker 1: of course. But if you move back in because you
Speaker 1: were broken, lazy and played video games all day in
Speaker 1: the basement, she would not like you. But if you
Speaker 1: move back in because Mom, I just miss you and
Speaker 1: love you so much, and you're successful, and maybe it's
Speaker 1: a different story. Okay, next one, Dave Jenny Bailey Vant.
Speaker 1: But we were talking the other day about when somebody
Speaker 1: is like sick or had a miscarriage, what do you
Speaker 1: say to them? What do you not say to them?
Speaker 1: So Becka says, I'm celebrating my eighth anniversary of being
Speaker 1: diasing ghosted with breast cancer. I'm happy to say I'm
Speaker 1: cancer free and living a great life. Oftentimes we have family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc.
Speaker 1: That encounter a challenging time in their life. Eight years ago,
Speaker 1: I learned a very valuable lesson. Instead of let me
Speaker 1: know if there's anything I can do, do this instead
Speaker 1: what evening works best for you and your family? For
Speaker 1: me to drop off a pizza? Oh okay, I'll text
Speaker 1: the menu. Here's the menu. What days the best Okay,
Speaker 1: oring get sandwiches or tell them I'll drop off or
Speaker 1: pick up for sports activities. Okay, so little Tyler's got soccer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: little Samantha's got baseball or soccer, whatever it is. Can
Speaker 1: what time can I pick them up?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So you're offering instead of because now you're saying something specific.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, so your friend doesn't feel weird like going, hey,
Speaker 1: Samantha's got basketball?
Speaker 2: Can you pick her up?
Speaker 3: Right? Exactly? Something specific is going to make it to
Speaker 3: where the people don't have to make decision themselves, because
Speaker 3: if they have to make it themselves, I'll probably be like,
Speaker 3: oh no, I don't need any help. It's fine. If
Speaker 3: you say can I help you, they'll be like no
Speaker 3: versus when can I do this? And you kind of
Speaker 3: give them no option.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I learned that when somebody dies,
Speaker 1: like if your spouse dies or something that, or somebody
Speaker 1: dies in your family or your household, God forbid, that
Speaker 1: people would bring buy food, bring by cast roles, bring
Speaker 1: by pizza, And I always thought, why why can't they
Speaker 1: make their own fucking cast role? Then I realized, as
Speaker 1: I got older and more mature, that that's the last
Speaker 1: thing that you want to do is on your mind.
Speaker 1: When you're mourning the loss of your spouse who died
Speaker 1: suddenly or slowly, the last thing you want to do
Speaker 1: is go in the kitchen and put something together for
Speaker 1: the family. So that's why people bring hot dish and
Speaker 1: pizza and meat loaf by the house heat. What I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get at is do something. Don't write it
Speaker 1: off as please, let me know what I can do
Speaker 1: to help. Be specific and forward. That way they can't
Speaker 1: say no. That's it. Love you guys, thanks for making
Speaker 1: my mornings more awesome. That is from Becca. Thank you
Speaker 1: Beccat's see what else we got here? Dan from Apple Valley.
Speaker 1: You remember Dan. He's a big supporter of the show.
Speaker 1: It is his birthday on Saturday. We won't be here
Speaker 1: and he wants a shout out. He says, Hey, Dave,
Speaker 1: Jenny Bailey and the occasional vont Dan here from Apple
Speaker 1: Valley want to give myself a quick shout out. It's
Speaker 1: my forty for the third birthday on Saturday, which means
Speaker 1: my birthday is two twenty two eighty two. Thanks for
Speaker 1: reading you Dart Liquors. All right for now and then
Speaker 1: it day? Yeah, Happy birthday, Dan, We love you.
Speaker 4: Shout out Dan. I have the license plate sign he
Speaker 4: made for me hanging up in our basement, says Jenny.
Speaker 4: Jenny in the morning, zoo adorable.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So then the last thing, because we're out of emails,
Speaker 1: So the last thing we're going to talk about is
Speaker 1: something I was discussing with Bailey earlier and that I
Speaker 1: forget how we got into this, but it was like,
Speaker 1: how young is too young for me to date? I'm
Speaker 1: not dating anybody. I'm happily married. I'm married.
Speaker 2: I'm married.
Speaker 4: Okay, what now, Well I've been happily.
Speaker 1: Married for eighteen years, yeah, but married for twenty five
Speaker 1: begin So we were just kind of joking around and saying, okay,
Speaker 1: and I'm giving Bailey a hard time. I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: here's the rule. A guy should be able to date
Speaker 1: somebody half his age plus seven. For me, that would
Speaker 1: be thirty eight years old. So I could, at my
Speaker 1: day age date a thirty eight year old woman.
Speaker 2: No, why not?
Speaker 3: Because that's way too young. That's younger than your some
Speaker 3: of your children, So why not?
Speaker 2: Cares?
Speaker 3: No, that's too young.
Speaker 4: I do think that rules should be that they have
Speaker 4: the woman has to be older than your your oldest child.
Speaker 2: What does my kids have to do with anything?
Speaker 4: I just think it's weird to date someone who could
Speaker 4: have well was maybe a fetus when your child was
Speaker 4: in diapers already.
Speaker 1: Okay, now let's let's do let's do let's do your
Speaker 1: your situation, Jenny. So let's do a little bit of
Speaker 1: backwards math. So you're thirty four minus seven would take
Speaker 1: you down to twenty seven. Double twenty seven would be
Speaker 1: fifty four. Would you date a fifty four year old guy.
Speaker 4: At this point in my life? Maybe if you would
Speaker 4: have asked me, like in my twenties, and oh I
Speaker 4: wouldn't have at this point. If I was single and
Speaker 4: the person and I have a connection, then yeah, I
Speaker 4: maybe consider it.
Speaker 3: Fifty four is so old. If you're old enough to
Speaker 3: be my dad, I'm not interested in dating you.
Speaker 1: You would old enough barely feel that he'd be barely
Speaker 1: old enough to be your dad.
Speaker 2: I mean if he had me at twenty yeah, barely
Speaker 2: still still like, what if he had you at fifteen?
Speaker 1: He had you at fifteen fifteen, so now you're boy,
Speaker 1: Now he's forty six or so.
Speaker 3: See, I feel like that's that's different because yes, he's
Speaker 3: old enough to be my dad, but it's when he
Speaker 3: was still a kid himself. But he was if he
Speaker 3: was an adult and old enough to be my dad,
Speaker 3: then No.
Speaker 4: When I was twenty three, I went home with some
Speaker 4: guy who was I think forty at the time. Uh
Speaker 4: met him at a bar in Uptown. Went home whatever,
Speaker 4: beautiful Lake of the Isles house.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 4: It wasn't his house. He was off friends citty in
Speaker 4: but he was really awesome and nice and respectful and attractive.
Speaker 4: I mean, he was forty.
Speaker 2: Laying the pipe? Could he lay the pipe?
Speaker 4: We didn't. We didn't go that far.
Speaker 2: Okay, gotcha?
Speaker 4: But he and so I think, thanks.
Speaker 2: For letting me use the term later like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but so, but I thought, like in my head
Speaker 4: it was kind of a mental game of like was
Speaker 4: that kind of fucking weird? Like he's significantly older than me?
Speaker 4: And then I was like no, Like we chatted at
Speaker 4: the bar, had like great conversation, went home, hung out.
Speaker 4: His buddy was with us. It wasn't like that, but
Speaker 4: like we hung out and made food and then I
Speaker 4: like made out with him at the end of the night.
Speaker 4: That was like the end of it.
Speaker 2: But no, that's that's cool.
Speaker 1: And it didn't you know, didn't turn into anything, but
Speaker 1: you weren't grossed out and you didn't go, God, he's
Speaker 1: old enough to beat my dad. Let's take it and
Speaker 1: turn it around the other way. Forty year old woman
Speaker 1: goes down with a what twenty three year old? Yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty three year old guy. Would you look at her
Speaker 1: and go, oh, that's gross. Let's say a fifty year
Speaker 1: old woman goes out with a twenty three year old guy.
Speaker 1: I feel like, is that gross?
Speaker 4: I feel like I don't think it's gross. I think
Speaker 4: it works equal ways. But I think society would say
Speaker 4: that that woman's desperate was just kind of sad and
Speaker 4: fucked up.
Speaker 1: What the older woman's desperate? Yeah, oh, I think she's
Speaker 1: living her best life. But she's going out and get
Speaker 1: some of that young pipe pipe, Let her have a
Speaker 1: good time.
Speaker 2: I see her as desperate at all.
Speaker 4: I am saying I don't see her as desperate. I
Speaker 4: think that society can make women seem more desperate, though,
Speaker 4: when they're dating young people.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I will tell you this. When I
Speaker 1: was twenty four, I dated a woman who was forty four,
Speaker 1: but she was hot. Experience and she played Nintendo. She
Speaker 1: played Bubble Bubble, and so we kind of hit it off.
Speaker 1: She was funny. But here's the interesting thing. She had
Speaker 1: children older than me because she was from the South,
Speaker 1: and she got married when she was like fourteen and
Speaker 1: had kids when she was fifteen. So I went over
Speaker 1: to her house one time and her kids were there.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, here comes her boyfriend into the house that's
Speaker 1: younger than them. They were like, you're.
Speaker 2: Dave, No, it's awkward.
Speaker 1: And it was really awkward. But then they realized that
Speaker 1: I was, you know, pretty normal guy, and they thought
Speaker 1: I was fine, and they're probably like, get it, get it, mom,
Speaker 1: did it?
Speaker 2: Get it?
Speaker 3: My grandpa ended up marrying a woman who was thirty
Speaker 3: six years younger than him. Thirty six yep, really awkward.
Speaker 3: And my mom just hated it because she was like ten,
Speaker 3: if not fifteen, years younger than my mom.
Speaker 2: Wow, what happened with her?
Speaker 3: Well, they were married for a long they were married.
Speaker 3: Then they were married for a long time. She this
Speaker 3: is wild. She ended up having a baby, definitely with
Speaker 3: another man, but my grandpa thought it was his.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, how did you know it was another man?
Speaker 3: Because it was half black and a white Man. Yeah. Wow, wow, Yeah,
Speaker 3: pretty exciting, pretty wild on that side of the Fanmily.
Speaker 2: So what happened after she had the baby?
Speaker 3: They he like stuck around because he thought it was
Speaker 3: his child, and so she kind of used him as
Speaker 3: like free child care because he was old, so he
Speaker 3: wasn't working or anything. And then they like moved all around.
Speaker 3: He ended up moving back here for a while, like
Speaker 3: we convinced him to move back here. He lived with
Speaker 3: my mom for a while, but then he ended up
Speaker 3: going back to where his quote unquote kid was and
Speaker 3: died in California with his by by his kid and
Speaker 3: by his ex wife because they had gotten a divorced
Speaker 3: by that point. But it was pretty wild, pretty wild
Speaker 3: story for my grandpa.
Speaker 4: Did that kid grow up thinking that was his dad?
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 2: At some point you probably had to realize.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I'm not really sure the details because I
Speaker 3: wasn't like there and I never met that kid.
Speaker 4: So what does that kid to you? Is that a cousin? No, No, it.
Speaker 3: Would technically be ant, but no blood relation.
Speaker 4: So zero blood relation.
Speaker 3: But right, if it had actually been my grandpa's kid,
Speaker 3: then technically I would have an aunt that's like twenty yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, oh wow, yeah, Okay, that's weird. If you got
Speaker 1: any stories about weird things in your family, send it
Speaker 1: to us. And you know, I don't know. There's always
Speaker 1: been like a little bit of an inkling that I
Speaker 1: was not my dad's kid. Because the funny thing is,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty percent Asian. I look a lot like my mom,
Speaker 1: nothing like my siblings, but I do look a little
Speaker 1: like my dad. So Susan likes to joke like, yeah,
Speaker 1: your mom was like definitely sleeping with somebody else beside
Speaker 1: your dad. And it's possible because where did the twenty
Speaker 1: percent Asian come from? I'm not sure, but I do
Speaker 1: look nothing like my siblings, and my cousins all have
Speaker 1: a very strong family look. They all look the same.
Speaker 1: I look nothing like them. So I don't know, But
Speaker 1: to me it doesn't matter. My dad was my dad,
Speaker 1: and I will always believe that he runs my biological dad,
Speaker 1: and he'd probably be really pissed and hurt if he
Speaker 1: heard me having this conversation right now. So what about you,
Speaker 1: any weird family stories, any histories. I think it's pretty common.
Speaker 1: I think I heard somewhere that one in nine men
Speaker 1: is raising a kid that is not theirs that they
Speaker 1: think is theirs. One in nine. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's a nationwide or just in world. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is, but if you have any stories
Speaker 1: about that, send him in. That could be a good
Speaker 1: little branch of topics on the Minnesota Goodbye. Send that
Speaker 1: into Ryan's show at kadiwb dot com.