WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Folks here in the TLF Solar system, I have received

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<v Speaker 1>some great news concerning a tremendous event taking place over

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<v Speaker 1>the course of several days here in the TLF main feed.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the TLFX Games, a thirty two percent tournament celebrating

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<v Speaker 1>ten years of the Lapsed Fan to determine the King

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<v Speaker 1>of the Cast, the greatest character in Lapsed Fan history.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Sean Mooney. In this week, it's a switch up.

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<v Speaker 1>I take a look at the sheet today and I

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<v Speaker 1>realize that opposing the character we'll be hearing from this week,

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<v Speaker 1>the Labst editor is none other than yours, truly. It's

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<v Speaker 1>all brought to you by your friends at Garage Beer

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<v Speaker 1>Small Batch. Like beer, the garage is always open. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>crack open this next encounter and keep your eyes peeled.

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<v Speaker 1>In the coming weeks to the labs Fan's X page

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<v Speaker 1>for your chance to vote on who advances as the

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<v Speaker 1>King of the Cast. I'm gonna sit back now and

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<v Speaker 1>listen as we hear from whoever this is the LABST editor?

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<v Speaker 2>What the fuck I'm doing here? Can so many please

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<v Speaker 2>explain to me what it is? Why am I involved?

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<v Speaker 2>Why the fuck am I involved in this? I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want nothing to do with this shit. What I got it?

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<v Speaker 2>You're telling me that I am the only legitimate person

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<v Speaker 2>involved in this whole fucking thing. How did I get involved? Who? Who?

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<v Speaker 2>Which one? Are you fuckheads? Put my name in here?

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<v Speaker 2>And why do I have to fucking make a speech?

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<v Speaker 2>God damn it? All right, I'll tell you what. All right,

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<v Speaker 2>this is my chance. This is the chance that all

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<v Speaker 2>of you need. Now. I look at every single one

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<v Speaker 2>of you fucking people out there, and I understand one

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<v Speaker 2>thing you have been and I've said it for years.

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<v Speaker 2>You've been brainwashed by these motherfucking frauds. I am your angel,

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<v Speaker 2>I am your guiding light. I am gonna be the

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<v Speaker 2>king or whatever the fuck this is because I am

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<v Speaker 2>the only one who tells you the fucking truth. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>the only one who takes fucking fucking uhh fucking pliers

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<v Speaker 2>to open up your fucking eyes so you can see

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<v Speaker 2>what the fuck is going on. This is it, This

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<v Speaker 2>is my chance. I'm gonna make fucking history as I

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<v Speaker 2>take down these motherfuckers and once again and finally destroy

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<v Speaker 2>all a professional wrest and a fucking fake shit fuck off.

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<v Speaker 1>We now reach perhaps the most awkward point in the

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<v Speaker 1>event center where yours truly has to somehow campaign to

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<v Speaker 1>win a tournament, I have absolutely no interest in prevailing

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<v Speaker 1>in You would think the organizers of the TLFX tournament

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<v Speaker 1>would have paid particularly close attention to the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>as my career as a broadcast journalist developed, I left

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<v Speaker 1>off my tenure Road Wrestling Federation from my resume. So

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<v Speaker 1>I'm hereby announcing, as host of the TLFX Games event

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<v Speaker 1>center that I'm not interested in double dipping. I do

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<v Speaker 1>not want to win this tournament. Voting in the TLFX

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<v Speaker 1>Games is expected to commence on Monday, August nineteenth. Keep

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<v Speaker 1>it locked to the lapsed Fans. Execon out at the

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<v Speaker 1>Lapsed Fan for your opportunity to vote on who advances

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<v Speaker 1>to the King of the Caste