Speaker 1: It's night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston's news
Speaker 1: radio home.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much to call as we start a
Speaker 2: very cold Tuesday night. I hope none of you are
Speaker 2: out sitting on the beach tonight listening on your ten
Speaker 2: transistor radio. No, no, no, no, no, stay inside. It's
Speaker 2: chilly out there, that's for sure. If you have to
Speaker 2: be outside, hopefully you're all buttoned up. My name's Dan Ray,
Speaker 2: as the goal indicated, the host of Nightside. We are
Speaker 2: in our eighteenth year here on Nightside on WBZ, and
Speaker 2: we've got another great show for you tonight. Before we
Speaker 2: get to our guests in this first hour, let me
Speaker 2: just mention a couple of things, little bookkeeping. First of all,
Speaker 2: always want to thank Rob Brooks, who's back in the
Speaker 2: control room and Broadcast Central. Wanted to mention there's a
Speaker 2: couple of programs upcoming. Every program on Nightside is great.
Speaker 2: But on Monday night we will do our eighteenth annual
Speaker 2: college admissions panel with the Deans of Admission from Harvard
Speaker 2: and Boston College, Bill Fitzsimmons from Harvard and Grant Gostlin
Speaker 2: from Boston College. So, if you have a child, a grandchild,
Speaker 2: someone in high school, eighth grade, ninth grade, tenth grade,
Speaker 2: eleventh grade. They're just getting into this college application business
Speaker 2: that you want them to listen and you may want
Speaker 2: to listen to on Monday night beginning at eight o'clock
Speaker 2: with Bill Fitzsimmons and grand Gostlin. They will take phone calls,
Speaker 2: answer questions and we will try to bring everyone up
Speaker 2: to date, particularly people who are going through the college
Speaker 2: application process for the first time. Busy time of year
Speaker 2: for any admissions director, and both Bill Fitzsimmons and Grant
Speaker 2: Gostlin are very generous in their time. I will also
Speaker 2: tell you that we are trying to pull together the
Speaker 2: twelfth annual Night Side Charity Combine. We do that my
Speaker 2: last couple of hours of the broadcast year, which this
Speaker 2: year will be on Friday December twenty twenty, which is
Speaker 2: a Friday of twenty twenty four. We do it all remotely,
Speaker 2: So if you have some in your circle of friends
Speaker 2: or some group that you're aware of and they would
Speaker 2: like us to highlight them on the Night Side Charity Combine,
Speaker 2: all you have to do is send me an email
Speaker 2: at Dan Ray at iHeartMedia dot com Danray or at
Speaker 2: iHeartMedia dot com or the alternative. You can call our
Speaker 2: producer Lady Lightning Maria Marita, and her number is. I
Speaker 2: will have that for you in the ten o'clock hour,
Speaker 2: because they don't have it in front of me now
Speaker 2: as I should have it in front of me, but
Speaker 2: that's okay. I will have it in the ten o'clock
Speaker 2: hour and you can call Marita and you can say
Speaker 2: we'd like to have a representative on. We will highlight
Speaker 2: your group, your organization for well three four or so minutes,
Speaker 2: give you a chance to tell us what you do,
Speaker 2: what help you might need. Maybe you need more volunteers,
Speaker 2: maybe you need some a bit of a cash infusion.
Speaker 2: We'll see what we can do and try to help
Speaker 2: you out. We have a lot of listeners who want
Speaker 2: to be generous at this time of year. Now, we
Speaker 2: have a lot of listeners who are waiting for our
Speaker 2: night side news update, and we're going to start off
Speaker 2: with a very familiar face here, a nice and familiar voice,
Speaker 2: I should say, Paula Fleming, who's the chief marketing and
Speaker 2: sales officer for the Better Business Bureau Boston division, with
Speaker 2: some tips for successfully donating on Giving Tuesday and for
Speaker 2: that matter throughout this holiday season. Welcome back, Paula. Nice
Speaker 2: to know we'll be hearing your voice here in just
Speaker 2: a moment. So how are you tonight?
Speaker 3: I'm very well, thank you.
Speaker 4: How are you doing?
Speaker 2: Just great? So look, today is Giving Tuesday and a
Speaker 2: lot of our listeners, I'm sure, have decided that they
Speaker 2: wanted to contribute to a charity or to some organization
Speaker 2: that they feel a kindred spirit with. What do people
Speaker 2: have to worry about? Because there's a lot of people
Speaker 2: out there who are running scams as we understay what's
Speaker 2: going on?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there are, unfortunately, and Giving Tuesday is a great opportunity,
Speaker 3: as you mentioned, to support causes that you care about.
Speaker 4: But we're here to.
Speaker 3: Encourage donors to give wisely and we want them to
Speaker 3: avoid questionable appeal. So watch out number one for name similarities.
Speaker 3: And what I mean by that is many charities have
Speaker 3: similar names. Double check the exact name to ensure you're
Speaker 3: giving to the right organization. So they may actually just
Speaker 3: flip a word and that can trick you into thinking
Speaker 3: you're giving to the organization you did last year, which
Speaker 3: was reliable. So take the time, do your research before donating,
Speaker 3: verify the charities legitimacy and impact, and you can do
Speaker 3: so by visiting for free give dot org to access
Speaker 3: reports on thousands of charities.
Speaker 2: So how do they get your name? In other words,
Speaker 2: is this just that they're sending blind emails or their
Speaker 2: auto dialing phone numbers and somehow, some way they know
Speaker 2: that you, at some point in the past were charitable.
Speaker 2: Is that the way it works or is it more sophisticated.
Speaker 3: There are a number of ways in which they can see.
Speaker 3: You know, many of us share sometimes overshare on social media,
Speaker 3: and they can use that as an avenue to gather
Speaker 3: your information. You know, many people are giving during this
Speaker 3: time of year and it's fabulous of their time or
Speaker 3: if they have the funds to do so. But these
Speaker 3: scare artists are aware that it's that time and they
Speaker 3: target via social media platforms, text messaging, emails, and phone calls.
Speaker 3: We're hearing of people actually being shamed into not giving
Speaker 3: via the phone, and those are scammers. Because a legitimate
Speaker 3: charity will take your money now today or they will
Speaker 3: take it in a month. They are not going to
Speaker 3: get angry and they are not going to swear and
Speaker 3: curse at you that you're not providing funds. And that's
Speaker 3: what we've unfortunately heard over the years that happened.
Speaker 2: Someone's calling up supposedly you on the phone and they're
Speaker 2: representing a charity whatever they come up with, and you
Speaker 2: hesitate or you say, well, Jake, could you send me
Speaker 2: some materials in the mail, which is a very reasonable
Speaker 2: request or whatever, very and then no, no, no, you're
Speaker 2: going to give today because it's giving to exactly, we're
Speaker 2: tripling the match. And then they'll get to the point
Speaker 2: where they'll be trying to swear at you. I mean,
Speaker 2: give me a break.
Speaker 3: It seems that it's totally irrational, but it is unfortunate.
Speaker 3: It is unfortunate, but it does happen. So we want
Speaker 3: people to take their time to make informed decisions and
Speaker 3: resist the pressure to give on the spot. And this
Speaker 3: again can be from someone on the phone or even
Speaker 3: a knock on the door. Still people are still doing that.
Speaker 3: And if you're seeing very you know, aesthetically pleasing advertisements
Speaker 3: asking for funds to be donated, just don't fall for
Speaker 3: that again. Take it off the social media platform and
Speaker 3: do a little bit of research. Also, focus on impact.
Speaker 3: Don't be swayed solely by emotional appeals, ask specific questions
Speaker 3: about how the charity is using the donations to achieve
Speaker 3: its mission, and look at the charity's website. So look
Speaker 3: at the mission, the program's financial information, and again give
Speaker 3: dot org is a great resource free for your listeners
Speaker 3: to utilize.
Speaker 2: There's also a great resource I think called Charity Navigator,
Speaker 2: which absolutely a rundown. But more importantly, if they are
Speaker 2: for example, I don't know, let's say that they're Let's
Speaker 2: everybody think of a charity that they that everyone knows of.
Speaker 2: I don't want to mention it, but if they could
Speaker 2: just put the word the in front of it. So
Speaker 2: let's say that there's a lot of charities that are
Speaker 2: known simply by their proper name, and someone could call
Speaker 2: them say, well, I represent the filling the proper name. Uh,
Speaker 2: that should be a tip off maybe that that's not
Speaker 2: the right right group. One of the questions I always
Speaker 2: ask people who I get blind calls from charities and
Speaker 2: you get a lot of this from the local You're
Speaker 2: like you to support your local police department, and I'll
Speaker 2: say wow, yeah, And so my question is, can you
Speaker 2: tell me what are the administrative costs of your charity?
Speaker 2: And if you ask that question. That is a magical
Speaker 2: question because they'll say, well, we we all really don't
Speaker 2: keep those figures, or they'll say, well, you have to
Speaker 2: look them up. Because a legitimate charity, a legitimate charity,
Speaker 2: whether it's a big charity or a small charity, doesn't
Speaker 2: have administrative costs that go over eight or ten percent.
Speaker 2: That's a healthy In other words, for every dollar that
Speaker 2: you give to the charity, if they spend anythn a
Speaker 2: dime on running that charity, then it's a scam in
Speaker 2: my opinion, because would you agree.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would concur it's definitely a red flag of
Speaker 3: a charity can't or won't answer questions about their administrative costs.
Speaker 3: For sure, I think transparency. Legitimate charities are transparent about
Speaker 3: how they use their donations. And as you mentioned, administrative costs,
Speaker 3: which includes salaries, expenses, fundraising, are necessary part of running
Speaker 3: a charity, So donors do deserve to know what percentage
Speaker 3: of their money is going to go towards that.
Speaker 2: A lot of times exactly we're calling from the National
Speaker 2: Police Federation and I'll say, well, let me ask you.
Speaker 2: I'm about I want to send you one hundred dollars. Well,
Speaker 2: that's great. But why shouldn't I just bring it down
Speaker 2: to my local police department and give them the check
Speaker 2: for one hundred dollars. Well, exactly with the National Federation,
Speaker 2: they'll give you some you know, just be swat. That's all.
Speaker 2: Be swat and you won't get scammed. It's as simple
Speaker 2: as that. Through and there are a lot of great
Speaker 2: charities out there to support. Don't hesitate.
Speaker 3: There are, yeah, and if you cannot financially support they,
Speaker 3: you know, oftentimes, if you want to make a difference
Speaker 3: during the holiday season, if you just call a local
Speaker 3: charity ask what they need. Sometimes it's just a helping hand.
Speaker 2: Sure. Absolutely, as always, Paul, great directed to the point.
Speaker 3: Thanks so much, Thank you, Happy holidays.
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas. I celebrate Christmas, so if you wish me
Speaker 2: a married okay, well I wish you were Merry Christmas,
Speaker 2: so I'd always like to hear Merry Christmas. Thanks very much, thank.
Speaker 3: You, Merry Christmas to you, Bye bye.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much. When we get back, we're going
Speaker 2: to talk about a method, a proven method to single
Speaker 2: handedly transform your relationship and create harmony in your home.
Speaker 2: This ought to be interesting. We'll be back right after
Speaker 2: this on night Side.
Speaker 1: Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Speaker 1: night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2: Well, now we're welcoming a guest who I've not spoken
Speaker 2: with before, Paul Martino. He's the founder of Relationship development
Speaker 2: dot org, author of The Missing Piece, The Missing Piece
Speaker 2: of proven method to single hndenly transform your relationship and
Speaker 2: create harmony in your home. This sounds like a big
Speaker 2: mountain to climb here, Paul, how are you tonight?
Speaker 4: Good Dan, and thank you for having me as your
Speaker 4: guest tonight.
Speaker 2: You have you have set the bar pretty high, so
Speaker 2: pretty high. So tell us about it. And obviously you're
Speaker 2: not gonna be able to tell us everything about it
Speaker 2: in the you know, six or seven minutes that we have,
Speaker 2: But tell us about it, and then how can people
Speaker 2: get a copy of information? So let's talk about what
Speaker 2: can be done when there's some disharmony in people's home.
Speaker 4: Absolutely. Well, the first thing we have to look at
Speaker 4: is the paradigm shift that this book is basically delivering on,
Speaker 4: which is, you know, we've all been brought up to
Speaker 4: believe that to be successful in relationship, especially long term relationships,
Speaker 4: that we either had to pick the right person, or
Speaker 4: that we had to be very comparable in how we
Speaker 4: see things. A lot of these false beliefs that have
Speaker 4: kind of held us stuck where these old paradigms, these
Speaker 4: old patterns play out because we were expecting things to
Speaker 4: be a certain way. And after fourteen years of doing
Speaker 4: this with thousands of people, now what we've learned is
Speaker 4: that the real truth about successful relationships wasn't about personalities.
Speaker 4: It wasn't about how different we are from each other.
Speaker 4: It's not even about what we brought into this as
Speaker 4: a belief of having picked the right person or as
Speaker 4: a person in general. It's about our skill sets or
Speaker 4: our lack of skill sets. That's what determines the difference
Speaker 4: between successful long term relationships or not. And no matter
Speaker 4: where we bring ourselves, whether it's the holidays or whether
Speaker 4: a spouse in private, it doesn't matter. It's about the
Speaker 4: skill sets that we're bringing to that situation or that circumstance.
Speaker 4: And unfortunately, because we have a lot of false beliefs
Speaker 4: that have been with us for all of our upbringing,
Speaker 4: we all tend to see things the same way. And
Speaker 4: many people say things like, oh, in long term relationships,
Speaker 4: relationships just say that's the way it is. And unfortunately
Speaker 4: that's your trajectory that most of us can witness, at
Speaker 4: least around us. But in reality it didn't have to
Speaker 4: be that way. With about skill set, you.
Speaker 2: Use the phrase skill sets. Okay, Now, I'm not a
Speaker 2: psychologist or a psychiatrist, nor will I play one on
Speaker 2: the radio. Yeah, but it sounds to me like in
Speaker 2: a relationship, both parties have to be willing to listen
Speaker 2: to the other person, and relationships ideally need to be
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty if they're ninety ten where one person
Speaker 2: always calls the shots. I don't think those relationships work.
Speaker 2: Am I way off base when I say something like that?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 4: And Dan, and I think most people would agree with you.
Speaker 4: And that's again part of sort of the perspective that
Speaker 4: we all share that we bring to these relationships. And unfortunately,
Speaker 4: from our perspective and most of what you'll find that
Speaker 4: we bring is very contrarian, but with good reason because
Speaker 4: right now, the first marriage divorce rates around fifty percent,
Speaker 4: second and third divorce rates or even higher. So what
Speaker 4: we currently believe isn't really working all that well. So
Speaker 4: what I would say is excellent relationships actually come from
Speaker 4: a relationship that is one hundred percent one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: It's not about fifty to fifty because fifty to fifty
Speaker 4: creates like compromise, it creates neutralness, It creates sort of
Speaker 4: a trading of this time you win and I'll lose.
Speaker 4: Next time we'll flip it. We're looking for fairness. You know,
Speaker 4: these things are not bad, but they're not exactly going
Speaker 4: to create magic or get you through the tough times
Speaker 4: long term relationship that's wants.
Speaker 2: To explain to me just a little bit. And I
Speaker 2: realize you cont in six or seven minutes explain everything,
Speaker 2: But what is the skill set? I mean? I think
Speaker 2: that listening is an important skill set because I think
Speaker 2: that if you don't listen, you can't understand what it's
Speaker 2: like a negotiation between you know, on a contract or
Speaker 2: anything like that. You have to kind of put yourself
Speaker 2: in the other person shoes.
Speaker 4: Right, Well, you're absolutely right there, there's no question about that.
Speaker 4: That's the key part of all of it, because if
Speaker 4: we're just speaking from our perspective, we're not going to
Speaker 4: get very far. We have to really listen to what
Speaker 4: it is that they need. Understand that person, and I
Speaker 4: will just say it doesn't require psychologists. It really just requires,
Speaker 4: like you're saying, good listening skills and really understanding people.
Speaker 4: So it's in effect it's still a skill set. But
Speaker 4: what I would say is listening is good. But we
Speaker 4: have a little snag. There's a little flaw on the
Speaker 4: plan for most of us, which is we bring our
Speaker 4: own perspective. So when we listen to someone, we're only
Speaker 4: hearing it through the filter with which we see the world.
Speaker 4: And one of the skill sets we have to learn
Speaker 4: is to rise above that and to listen from a
Speaker 4: perspective of what is it that they really need? How
Speaker 4: do they see it from behind their eyeballs? So like
Speaker 4: there's a there's an elevation more or less to the
Speaker 4: skill set that you're well, you're correct, we kind of
Speaker 4: have to take it up another notch if we want
Speaker 4: to be successful in a long term relationship.
Speaker 2: How long you been doing this? How many years?
Speaker 4: Fourteen years? Now?
Speaker 2: Well how did you start?
Speaker 4: If I could ask, will you sure? So you know,
Speaker 4: the funny thing is we're not psychiatrists. We're not psychologists.
Speaker 4: We didn't even begin this as an intention. What happened
Speaker 4: was twenty years ago, Stacy single handedly saved our relationship,
Speaker 4: honestly by accident, and then over a journey that they
Speaker 4: can learn about in the book at the Missing Piece
Speaker 4: dot Com. What they'll find out is that from what
Speaker 4: she discovered, we've developed a proven method that changes these perspectives.
Speaker 4: It basically she uncovered a new paradigm for a relationship
Speaker 4: that is un like anything that we've realized before. But
Speaker 4: once you can start seeing how these pieces fit together
Speaker 4: and the skill sets and how they apply, now it
Speaker 4: starts to all make sense and it's no longer contrarian
Speaker 4: that one person can change the relationship. It becomes more
Speaker 4: common sensical.
Speaker 2: So you're talking about relationships, it sounds to me like
Speaker 2: between couples. But does this also extent to relationships let
Speaker 2: us say between siblings who might live outside in different
Speaker 2: homes and they have estranged relationships, or between parents and
Speaker 2: a child that is estranged. Is it primarily couples or
Speaker 2: does it apply to all sorts of familiar relationships?
Speaker 4: Oh, excellent question, Dan, And yeah, it applies to all
Speaker 4: relationships because at the end of the day, your relationship
Speaker 4: is about you and how you relate, and it's between
Speaker 4: two people. So it's between you and a friend, you
Speaker 4: and a coworker, you and your parents, you and your boss,
Speaker 4: you and your children. It's really about human relationship dynamics
Speaker 4: and the skill sets to navigate those, especially when we
Speaker 4: have very different perspectives that we're bringing to the same circumstance.
Speaker 2: Okay, last question, and that is, in your opinion, do
Speaker 2: both people Let's assume there's a listener out there who
Speaker 2: wants to improve their relationship with someone within their family,
Speaker 2: whomever that is, whether it's a spouse, whether it's a child,
Speaker 2: a parent, or whatever. Do both people who have allowed
Speaker 2: their relationship to go on the rocks. Do both people
Speaker 2: have to commit to reading this book or does the
Speaker 2: knowledge implanted in the mind of one person can that
Speaker 2: save a relationship?
Speaker 4: Absolutely so. Everything about what we do is a one
Speaker 4: person method, and in long term relationships, untrained, we keep
Speaker 4: playing out their same old patterns. So it seems like
Speaker 4: one person can't make a difference, but it's definitely one
Speaker 4: person who participates, and we don't do any couple's work ever.
Speaker 4: Our entire methodology is about empowering one person with the
Speaker 4: skills and training so that they know how to make
Speaker 4: the transformation. And that's the story of my life because
Speaker 4: when Stacy saved our relationship, I was not interested in
Speaker 4: doing anything. And yet even I transformed after about a
Speaker 4: year and I didn't even know what she was doing.
Speaker 4: So there's there's a cause and effect relationship, and this
Speaker 4: is how that cycle works, all right.
Speaker 2: Paul Again, what's the book? Is the missing Piece dot
Speaker 2: and they can find it at the missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4: Is that it exactly, thank you, Dan. And yet that'll
Speaker 4: provide more information. They can go pre order the book.
Speaker 4: It'll give them helpful links to good Amazon or Barnes
Speaker 4: and Noble, whatever their favorite bookstore is, and they can
Speaker 4: just go there and find out more information.
Speaker 2: Okay, and the missing piece is spelled p I e ce.
Speaker 2: We're not talking about peace and harmony. We're talking about
Speaker 2: the missing element missingpiece dot com.
Speaker 4: That is correct.
Speaker 2: Appreciate you, Paul very much, and we'll talk about this
Speaker 2: again at some point. Okay, maybe we'll have you on
Speaker 2: for a longer conversation and take some phone calls.
Speaker 4: That would be great. And I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Interesting because I asked some questions. But there's a lot
Speaker 2: of my listeners out there I know who are sitting
Speaker 2: there saying I wish this was a phone call interview.
Speaker 2: We'll do it. We'll do it for an hour later
Speaker 2: in the program.
Speaker 4: Okay, that sounds fantastic, and thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Dan, You're welcome, Paul, Thanks very much. We come back
Speaker 2: on to talk about Christmas movies. Why do some people
Speaker 2: love Christmas movies and others hate Christmas movies? Hey? For me,
Speaker 2: it's Bad Santa. Gotta watch Bad Santa every year. We're
Speaker 2: gonna be talking with Dr Matthew Chalmers about this intriguing question.
Speaker 2: Five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good according
Speaker 2: to science. We'll talk about that as well. We got
Speaker 2: lots to deal with and then later on we're going
Speaker 2: to talk about the Physician Pathway Act. We got a
Speaker 2: great show coming up tonight. Stay with us. My name's
Speaker 2: Dan Ray. This is the Nightside on WBZ, Boston's news
Speaker 2: radio ten thirty on your AM dial. It is Christmas time.
Speaker 2: Today's the third, so it's twenty two days till Christmas
Speaker 2: and all of us will watch some Christmas movies. I
Speaker 2: assume between now and the big day, the twenty fifth
Speaker 2: of December with us is doctor matt Chalmers. Mad You're
Speaker 2: gonna tell us why do some people love Christmas movies
Speaker 2: and other people hate Christmas movies. You're not a psychologist.
Speaker 2: You're a healthy living expert and a chiropractor. So I'm
Speaker 2: very interested as to how you developed this this perspective
Speaker 2: or this knowledge. How are you tonight?
Speaker 5: I'm doing very well. It's it's lots and lots of
Speaker 5: years of study.
Speaker 4: Okay, so.
Speaker 2: Yes, go ahead, No, no, I'm I sort of leave
Speaker 2: it as an open ended question. There, my friend to
Speaker 2: love to know it would start off with the big question,
Speaker 2: why do some people love them and other people hate them?
Speaker 2: I happen to have a favorite Christmas movie. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of a sentimental sort of guy, but I love Bad Santa.
Speaker 5: Bad Things is a fantastic movie. He gives a great
Speaker 5: little twist on it. And you gotta love Billy Bob.
Speaker 5: He's fantastic.
Speaker 2: Well, I just don't know why he didn't win the
Speaker 2: Oscar that year, which which baffles me, to be honest
Speaker 2: with you.
Speaker 4: You yeah, you.
Speaker 5: Know, it's one of those things where it's sometimes it's
Speaker 5: not artsy enough and it's not irritating enough to win Oscars.
Speaker 2: So I thought I thought it was a tour de
Speaker 2: force in all honesty, and I'm not a movie expert.
Speaker 2: One of my predecessors was a absolute movie expert. But anyway,
Speaker 2: so let I want to learn from you. I was
Speaker 2: half joking with you, but bad sense. It is a funny,
Speaker 2: funny flick, go right ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: Well, so, typically what we're saying is that it depends
Speaker 5: on how how into the festival of Christmas you are.
Speaker 5: You can be really religious, you can be you know,
Speaker 5: really love the presence, but it's how how much into
Speaker 5: the festivities and the festival of Christmas are you. Because
Speaker 5: if you're really into the decorations and the trees, you're
Speaker 5: also going to be into the movies because that's part
Speaker 5: of the culture of Christmas. And so that's really really
Speaker 5: where the love of the christmasity comes from.
Speaker 2: So give us the movie that, in your opinion, are
Speaker 2: some must be universally loved. It's a Wonderful Life? Is
Speaker 2: that a universe? I think of that as a Christmas movie?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, a Wonderful Life, a Christmas Carol. Those are
Speaker 5: univers that love. The newer ones that everybody loves is elf.
Speaker 5: Elf is one of the easier new classics that everybody loves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Wolf Ferrell is in is the Elf. If
Speaker 2: I recall correctly, again, I'm not a movie of ficient
Speaker 2: out of I know, I know enough about this stuff
Speaker 2: just to be dangerous. Why do people dislike I mean,
Speaker 2: how can you dislike a Christmas movie that's I don't
Speaker 2: understand that?
Speaker 5: Well, there's there's lots of little reasons, you know, like obviously,
Speaker 5: if it was something you watch your parents, your parents
Speaker 5: are gone, you know, you have a little bit of
Speaker 5: you know that's really emotional for you, so you don't
Speaker 5: want to be in that area, you know. And then
Speaker 5: you know, if you're if you realize that the you know,
Speaker 5: movies are making everything more materialistic and see you have
Speaker 5: an issue with that, that's also going to be part
Speaker 5: of it. But if you're not really into the festivities
Speaker 5: of it, some of those movies aren't great, which is
Speaker 5: kind of why if you look at any holiday movie trend,
Speaker 5: die Hard is always in the top three movies, because
Speaker 5: there's a lot of people who are like, look, I
Speaker 5: want to be this is my piece offering to agreeableness.
Speaker 5: I would like to watch a movie with you. I'd
Speaker 5: like to be festive, But most of them are not
Speaker 5: very good movies. If you'll count Die Hard as a
Speaker 5: Christmas movie? I will watch that with you.
Speaker 2: Can you count No Country for Old Men?
Speaker 5: I don't know if that's ever ever on the list,
Speaker 5: but you know, if you are those things where you know,
Speaker 5: if it counts for the festivities, then you.
Speaker 2: Know great, I guess you know. I to be honest
Speaker 2: with that, I think that some of the old movies
Speaker 2: are really great. I also enjoyed the Home Alone movie
Speaker 2: McAuley culkin. My kids were kind of that age when
Speaker 2: the movies came out, and I could see losing them
Speaker 2: on an airplane or at an airport. I mean, I
Speaker 2: guess this thing did you connect to as well? Correct? Correct?
Speaker 5: Absolutely?
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 5: A lot of a lot of the themes of the
Speaker 5: Christmas movies are reuniting of the family. So you know,
Speaker 5: in Home Alone's case, it was the family was fractionated,
Speaker 5: and you know, the little boy felt like he didn't
Speaker 5: he didn't fit in, and then afterwards like they became
Speaker 5: a tighter knit family and they showed the love. And
Speaker 5: that's really what everybody was looking for in that movie,
Speaker 5: was the was the family coming back together for the
Speaker 5: Christmas present?
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's there's also a sub question here, and
Speaker 2: I don't know if if you sent this to us,
Speaker 2: the five reasons why Christmas movies make us feel good
Speaker 2: according to science. Are you familiar that did you send
Speaker 2: us that piece?
Speaker 5: It's I didn't, but I've seen things similar to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So so give us I mean, obviously, Christmas is
Speaker 2: a wonderful time for most people.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: You know if if your family is together, I mean,
Speaker 2: you know that no one's off, you know, fighting in
Speaker 2: a war halfway around the world. U. You know, no
Speaker 2: one's is strange. It's it's a good family feeling. It's
Speaker 2: one time of year when we sort of like all
Speaker 2: kind of get off the treadmill of life, as I
Speaker 2: call it. So that's one of the reasons. Give me
Speaker 2: a couple of the other reasons why uh, in your
Speaker 2: opinion and probably others why they make why Christmas movies
Speaker 2: make us feel good? Above and apart from the wonderful
Speaker 2: season that Christmas is and what it represents, well, I.
Speaker 5: Think that's kind of the whole the whole nut of
Speaker 5: it is is the is the regeneration of closeness. So
Speaker 5: like in the Christmas Carol you had the Great Hero's
Speaker 5: journey of you know, the character who was you know,
Speaker 5: very antisocial and didn't really like people, and then through
Speaker 5: his his journey, he starts to figure out that, you know,
Speaker 5: maybe he does need to be more conscientious and more
Speaker 5: kind to people around him, and so he becomes a
Speaker 5: whole new person. And the same type of thing I
Speaker 5: guess with the Family Unit, where a lot of Christmas
Speaker 5: movies are you know, a strange you know and why
Speaker 5: is a strange family family that's not really close, and
Speaker 5: then through the ordeals they go through through the movie,
Speaker 5: they end up becoming closer as a family unit. And
Speaker 5: people really want that connection, that closeness, that community feeling,
Speaker 5: and so bringing that the ability for that to happen
Speaker 5: back to people in a fantasy realm is really appealing
Speaker 5: to a lot of people.
Speaker 2: What I really like about Christmas, you know, besides the
Speaker 2: familial relationships and all of that, but I really enjoy
Speaker 2: the idea of just the peace and quiet of the
Speaker 2: twenty fifth of December, whether you're just taking a walk
Speaker 2: in the woods or you're going to church to you know,
Speaker 2: to celebrate religiously, it just seems to be peaceful. And
Speaker 2: there's so many days during the year where we don't
Speaker 2: have peace Is that a factor that you've seen or
Speaker 2: am I imagining something?
Speaker 5: No, You're exactly right, Like there's a big part of that.
Speaker 5: Our world is so fast and so crazy and so
Speaker 5: stressful right now, the idea that, like you said, we're
Speaker 5: just gonna take a step off the treadmill of life
Speaker 5: and just kind of take a breath and be with
Speaker 5: people who we care about, whether their friends or family,
Speaker 5: or even if it's just your dog, like be able
Speaker 5: to just take a step back and just kind of relax.
Speaker 5: It's really important, and we all know we need to
Speaker 5: do it, and so we just that's the day we
Speaker 5: remind ourselves to do it, you know, in my in.
Speaker 2: My case, especially the dog, because the dog's the one
Speaker 2: member of the family that never argues with you. All
Speaker 2: he wants to do is kind of hang around and
Speaker 2: maybe take a walk and get fed. You know, I
Speaker 2: probably never didn't coin the phrase, but I like the
Speaker 2: phrase the treadmill of life because life and I don't
Speaker 2: want to be a downer, but life can be such
Speaker 2: a treadmill, even when you're doing something that you enjoy,
Speaker 2: which I like doing what I enjoy, and I remember
Speaker 2: the morning that I put my son on the bus
Speaker 2: the first day to kindergarten. As he sort of, you know,
Speaker 2: pulled himself up onto the bus, I said, very quietly,
Speaker 2: and my breath, but so he could kind of hear me,
Speaker 2: I said, welcome to the treadmill of life, because once
Speaker 2: you start kindergarten, man, it doesn't stop and for a
Speaker 2: long long time, except for those Christmas days. So, Mark,
Speaker 2: is there a way people can get in touch with you?
Speaker 2: Are you doing this out of the goodness of your
Speaker 2: heart or is there a website? Look, most folks who
Speaker 2: come on the show have a website or a book
Speaker 2: that they like to plug and I like to give
Speaker 2: even someone like yourself. I don't see anything here in
Speaker 2: my notes that says Mark has written this book about
Speaker 2: Christmas movies. Tell us if there's anything that we can
Speaker 2: help you out with, because you've been a really fun guest.
Speaker 5: Well, one of the things I really work on a
Speaker 5: lot is stress. And so one of the things we're
Speaker 5: doing to help everybody is on X and Facebook and Instagram,
Speaker 5: I'm doing a how to choose your healthcare providers, dentists, doctors,
Speaker 5: you know, therapist, that type of thing on Doctor Chalmers one.
Speaker 5: So just the social media doctor Chalmers the number one.
Speaker 5: We're doing a whole sentation on how to find those
Speaker 5: whole in your area. The idea of just getting out
Speaker 5: and getting you know, physiological information helping people get better
Speaker 5: is really kind of where it is for me. So
Speaker 5: you know, that's kind of my thing.
Speaker 2: So doctor Chalmers, and it's it's all. There's no it's
Speaker 2: D R C H A, L M, E R S
Speaker 2: and the numeral one.
Speaker 5: Yes, sir, that's great.
Speaker 2: You know, I'll tell you just finding a doctor these days.
Speaker 2: You know, here in Massachusetts we like to think of
Speaker 2: ourselves as sort of the medical capital of the world.
Speaker 2: We have you know, Leahy Clinic, mass General Hospital, bring
Speaker 2: them in Women's Hospital, great hospitals here, you know, Baptist,
Speaker 2: uh and just we have great hospitals. But try to
Speaker 2: find a doctor, just a PCP of and not I
Speaker 2: don't want to say just but simple doctor, you know
Speaker 2: who you can go to your primary care physician. It's
Speaker 2: impossible now, Mark, and we uh, we're going to talk
Speaker 2: about that in the next in the next SEGM. And
Speaker 2: because there's a Massachusetts just past the Physician Pathway Act,
Speaker 2: so maybe we should have you back and talk about
Speaker 2: what you do and how difficult it is to find
Speaker 2: that healthcare provider close to where you live, so you're
Speaker 2: not driving three hundred miles to go to an annual physical.
Speaker 5: Absolutely know it's especially what you're trying to find somebody
Speaker 5: who works on a physiological base, Yeah, like Gary Breca's
Speaker 5: stuff and figuring out the DNA and figuring out the
Speaker 5: actual route problems and fixing them that way. It's it's very,
Speaker 5: very difficult to find that level of functional medicine type
Speaker 5: of doctors.
Speaker 2: Well, hopefully some of my listeners have have written it down.
Speaker 2: Dr Traumas D R C H A, L M E
Speaker 2: R S. The numeral one appreciated very very much, Matthew
Speaker 2: DTR Traumas, It's been a pleasure to talk to you.
Speaker 2: When I watched Bat Santa this year, I'll think about it.
Speaker 5: Okay, fabulous you sir, good talking to you.
Speaker 2: Have a great night. We do come back. We're going
Speaker 2: to be talking with doctor Deeve Salem, Senior Vice President
Speaker 2: for Academic Integration and Tufts Medicine, former cardiologists, chair of
Speaker 2: the Department of Medicine and Tufts Medical Center, and he
Speaker 2: had worked along with the Massachusetts Medical Society to bring
Speaker 2: the problem to the attention of then Governor Charlie Baker.
Speaker 2: Let's we'll find out Massachusetts needs doctors, trust me uh
Speaker 2: and there are foreign trained ones who want to work.
Speaker 2: New law looks to address both those problems. Coming up
Speaker 2: on the next segment of Nightside News Updates. Stay with us.
Speaker 1: Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
Speaker 1: Nightside Studios i' WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 2: Troning us as doctor Deed Salem. He's senior vice president
Speaker 2: of Academic Integration and Toughts Medicine. He's former cardiologists chair
Speaker 2: of the Department of Medicine at Toft's Medical Center, and
Speaker 2: he he's very much concerned about the Physician Pathway Act,
Speaker 2: which apparently has is law in Massachusetts. What does the
Speaker 2: Physician Pathway Act hope to accomplish, doctor Salem.
Speaker 4: Well, it helps to accomplish something two things at one time.
Speaker 4: One is that there is a shortage of primary care
Speaker 4: doctors in Massachusetts, which will only get worse. And second,
Speaker 4: there are physicians that have come to the United States
Speaker 4: for political reasons or other reasons that can't pain a
Speaker 4: license in Massachusetts to practice medicine. So that's where doctor
Speaker 4: we turned around the Governor Baker asked us two years
Speaker 4: ago to look into this and see if we could
Speaker 4: come up with something that could affect both of these issues.
Speaker 2: So what is the status of this legislation? Has it
Speaker 2: passed or is it pending?
Speaker 4: It just passed, thank you, passed?
Speaker 2: Okay. As a consequence of the passing, how soon when
Speaker 2: we start to see an influx of more doctors? Because
Speaker 2: I can tell you that I know from my own experience,
Speaker 2: trying to find a private you know, a personal care
Speaker 2: physician a PCP is almost impossible in Massachusetts. And we
Speaker 2: used to think about states like Mississippi backwater, you know
Speaker 2: as a backwater state, or Montana where there was one
Speaker 2: doctor every five hundred miles. This is Massachusetts, This is
Speaker 2: not this is crazy. How soon will we see this
Speaker 2: turn around a little bit?
Speaker 4: Oh? Okay, of course, that's a great question. Let me
Speaker 4: just add it is so crazy that I have physicians
Speaker 4: calling me telling me they cans find the primary care doctor.
Speaker 4: So and that tells you a lot. It's not going
Speaker 4: to happen automatically. It needs now to be put together operationally.
Speaker 4: And you know, I don't know what my guess is.
Speaker 4: And this is just a guess it may take it
Speaker 4: here to get this put together.
Speaker 2: I have a theory, doctor Salem, which is one that
Speaker 2: I developed myself, and that is that. And you do
Speaker 2: not have to endorse my theory. You can tell me
Speaker 2: I'm dead wrong if you want. I have a theory
Speaker 2: that there are forces, including the American Medical Association, which
Speaker 2: has tamped down the number of legitimate medical universities medical
Speaker 2: schools in this country. There are a lot of really
Speaker 2: talented American kids from great colleges who are going offshore
Speaker 2: to learn how to practice medicine. There should be many more.
Speaker 2: We have more law schools than we need, and we
Speaker 2: have fewer medical schools than we must have. Am I
Speaker 2: right or wrong?
Speaker 4: I believe you're wrong. The reason is medical schools want
Speaker 4: to grow. They want to teach more because that for
Speaker 4: most medical schools, that how they get their income. There's
Speaker 4: some schools that are state schools, et cetera. They want
Speaker 4: to grow. The rate limiting factor is not that the
Speaker 4: schools don't want to teach more people. The rate limiting
Speaker 4: factor there's only a certain amount of hospitals that can
Speaker 4: teach the third and fourth year of medical school where
Speaker 4: they where they learn you know, you have the first
Speaker 4: two years where you're doing a lot of bookwork and
Speaker 4: that is now you can do this online, but you
Speaker 4: need to have places like you know, I'm a tough
Speaker 4: medical center. We can't we have a certain amount of
Speaker 4: students that we can teach. After that we can't do
Speaker 4: a good job doing it. So the rate limiting step
Speaker 4: has been for years the fact that we don't have
Speaker 4: enough teaching hospital and to be you know, to be
Speaker 4: there are a lot of good community hospitals that they're
Speaker 4: not appropriate often to teach medical students, or they may
Speaker 4: not want to teach medical students. That to me is
Speaker 4: the right limiting step that I don't know how to
Speaker 4: fix that.
Speaker 2: UH.
Speaker 4: In our own institution, we have two community hospitals, Lowell
Speaker 4: General being one of them. For example. We're trying to
Speaker 4: take that hospital and turn it into UH give me
Speaker 4: the ability to teach students, and that could help the
Speaker 4: medical school increase its class size.
Speaker 2: So at a list, doctor, the last thing, you know
Speaker 2: your business much better than I. But I'm looking at
Speaker 2: a list of offshore medical schools just in the Caribbean,
Speaker 2: many of whom the only one ones are that are
Speaker 2: not including that are not enrolling American students are the
Speaker 2: ones in Cuba. But I look at St. George's University
Speaker 2: School of Medicine in Grenada and as an example, those
Speaker 2: students are coming back here and practicing medicine. I don't
Speaker 2: see why we can't train them here in Massachusetts because
Speaker 2: if they're coming back to practice medicine from places like Grenada,
Speaker 2: it's American kids going off shore.
Speaker 4: So I can only speak about Massachusetts. If they do
Speaker 4: go offshore. Yeah, they can come back here only at
Speaker 4: least from Massachusetts, only if they do their residency training
Speaker 4: in an American school, in an American hospital. So you're
Speaker 4: half right, So we get listen. When I was chairman
Speaker 4: of the Department of Medicine, we got a number of
Speaker 4: a number each year of amazingly good medical students that
Speaker 4: had graduated from hospitals outside the United States, and we
Speaker 4: gave them they went into when we did our matches,
Speaker 4: we'd almost get a number of them, some of them
Speaker 4: at md thhds that seted up very very well trained
Speaker 4: that they could not get a license unless their internship
Speaker 4: and residency.
Speaker 2: All right, well, all right, look, I appreciate your expertise.
Speaker 2: I love to talk to you about it more, but
Speaker 2: it seems to me it's all red tape in my opinion,
Speaker 2: and we have to well, there are just too many
Speaker 2: kids who I think could be trained if we could
Speaker 2: open up some more medical schools. And it's also, by
Speaker 2: the way tougher. There are a few veterinary schools in
Speaker 2: this country. Then then there are medical schools, which is
Speaker 2: also crazy. Doctor. Thank you so much for your time tonight.
Speaker 2: Love to have you on and talk about this at
Speaker 2: greater depth. I may have my producer get back to
Speaker 2: you folks, if that's okay.
Speaker 4: I would be pleased to do it. I've spent a
Speaker 4: huge amount of my career worrying about the things you're
Speaker 4: talking about.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much, Doctor Deep Salem, my guest here tonight
Speaker 2: on Nightside. Thank you, doctor Salem. When we get back,
Speaker 2: we're going to talk about a very interesting piece written
Speaker 2: by Joe Vanaki in Today's Boston Globe. We will be
Speaker 2: back on Nightside right after this