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Speaker 1: Did we already get to the point where Mike and

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Eddie are have a little pow wow over which coworker

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they'd like to bang. Uh no, oh, okay, because that

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is a custom. It's like the Holy Communion at church,

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but way more important.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of not though, right, Well you're saying it's

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a sea rat sacrament. Well, yeah, like it's like eating Jesus. Right, okay,

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got it. Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brandsmaking episode

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of bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's pat permission to come aboard.

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Kitleen is grant, Kaitlyn is granted. Hello, Hello, a new

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season is upon us. Very Excitedalen, do we sound excited?

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So excited? I think we're pretty excited. We kicked this

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this season off with you know, it was an interesting

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I've bet my tongue. It was an interesting one to recap.

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It wasn't a bad bite, but it was one of

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those you know, it'll stop the sentence straight in its track.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the bite was bad, but the episode was good.

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Speaker 2: Now, the bite wasn't bad. The episode was good though.

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But there's a little bit of a slight challenge wherein

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we've seen this before. This is a bit like memento. Okay,

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we've been through this journey before. We've seen the water thrown,

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We've seen the glasses thrown and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: So are you're referring to the Salt Lake City Crossover. Yes,

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they blow right through that. I'm glad that was episode one.

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I don't need to see that again.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were referring to sea rats work on

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these boats.

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Speaker 2: Oh, well for sure that. I mean that's ground Day.

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Is it groundhog Day or Groundhog's Day? Does it belong

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to the groundhog or is it just called groundhog Day?

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If you have him looking that up right now? Well,

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I was actually asking you how should I know? Because

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you're a child of that that time, groundhog Day? Groundhog Day?

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What if somebody just kicked it when it when it

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popped its heat out, you know, completely ruined the ceremony.

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It never come out again. You got that guy in

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the monocle. Yeah, I wouldn't come out either. I'd be like,

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I don't trust you guys. I'm not going to tell

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you how long winter is. And quite frankly, why do

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you need me. You have all these satellites, you have

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all these these people call technology people. Yeah, I mean

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what are we doing. We have to get into this episode,

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but if you want to hear us recap any of

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the Salt Lakes City happenings and the goings on there,

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go to patron dot com slash. More importantly, Traders. Well,

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hang on a second, we covered the whole Salt Lake

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City season at Patreon dot com slash another podcast network,

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so if you want to listen to that, go there.

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And yes, more importantly, Traders is at Patreon as well.

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We did the first half of the season on this

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feed and the second half is uh is back in

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the comfort of you know, our own home, right, we

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can say what we want, we can mean what we mean,

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and we can really let our fucking freak flag fly.

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So go over there, donate a little or a little

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bit more pat thoughts pots on this episode.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna start off with the negative first, and

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there's very few negative thoughts, mostly positive.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, we are not going to start with one

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positive and then go into the start off with the negative. Okay, Okay.

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We are not down under, not down under. No, We're

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in like a tropical.

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Speaker 1: Narn We're in the middle of somewhere. Yeah, come, I

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don't even it has a zip code. I think you

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can kill people there and get away for sure. Okay,

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but I love how Captain Hotpants gets away with this.

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Speaker 2: He says.

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Speaker 1: You know, down on Deck is a state of mind.

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Speaker 2: Nice try? Uh, well, he says, it's it's where I am. Right,

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Then ditch the fucking name. Okay. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I want Australian porn stars in Australia. Okay, if I

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want fake Floridian millionaires, I'll watch below Deck.

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Speaker 2: Og Can we go back for a second. You want

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Australian porn stars.

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Speaker 1: I want Australian entertainers. Because we're not in Australia. How

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are we going to get Australian guests? I watch below

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Deck to get Australian guests. We're not gonna get a

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bunch of Australian guests. Down and debt.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, all right.

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Speaker 1: I always say, Kalen, are you hung up on the

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porn star thing? Because in past seasons we always have

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a group of Australian porn stars.

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Speaker 2: Oh so fine, I thought you were talking about if

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you were imbibing in the pornographic guards. No, no, no,

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you found out that they were filming in a different location,

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but they were using an auzzie. You'd be like, absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but with that, now you've prompted me to bring

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this up, and it is tasteless. I always say that

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Australia is America's slutty little sister. Right now, some people

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that is that, by no means is an insult, that

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is in fact a compliment. Right, Australians, And I've got

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to know them pretty well when I worked at that

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tour company that I owned. Their summer is our winter,

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so I spent Christmases with these assis. They are so

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much fun. The dudes are way cooler. They're all sluts

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in a state of mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the men and the women, all the all the

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Australians are sluts in a state of mind.

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Speaker 1: And they're not going to be on these vacations on

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this season and I'm pissed. Yeah that's my one negative note. Yeah, okay,

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I love this episode. This is gonna be a great season.

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I wish the galleys on the other boats were this

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big because the dynamic of the sous chef and a

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cook is just an added drama that we'd never experienced before.

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And by the way, Alicia, We're gonna We're gonna talk

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about you quite a bit this episode. Uh Somewhere somewhere,

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Chef Serena is sitting with her feet up on a

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couch with a glass of wide watch of this episode

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and just fucking enjoy.

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Speaker 2: Can I tell you something. Alicia's young, and her mother

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sounds our mother sounds unsupportive. But if I'm a young

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I'm a young woman, you know, and I have a

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choice between culinary school and a ski trip. Are you

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kidding me? I'm hitting the slopes. But what you'll learn

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is that those decisions will cause almost insurmountable bouts of anxiety.

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So you know, lesson learned. That's a good thing about life.

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Speaker 1: All Right, this is gonna I swear to God, this

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is gonna be the longest not.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're not gonna even recap the show. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Now, Ben is a huge pain in the ass, And

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we'll get into that one thing that he did touch

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on towards the end of this episode, because it occurred

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to him later in the episode.

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Speaker 2: The word passion. Passion, Yeah, has quite a lot of rain.

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Speaker 1: Of course, So when a youngling comes into your galley

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and says, you know, what, I have a lot of

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passion for cooking. He thought that meant that, well, that

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might involve having a skill set for cooking.

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Speaker 2: Now I think with Alicia and we'll obviously we'll get

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into it, but like I remember at the back half

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of last season, she was growing incompetence. I think it's

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just muzzy, you know, the mean mom and the ski trip.

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There's just a bout of self doubt right now. And

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then you've got the bands from this fuck face who like, hey, buddy,

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Like it's hard to know that someone's going through something

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like this, but also like, come on you you just

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spent fifty grand on a wedding, right you can you

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could be a little softer, right.

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Speaker 1: He walked out on his own the runaway broad.

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Speaker 2: Oh did he walk out on it? Yeah, that's what

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he said. He was bragging about that.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna throw in a crowbar a dumb

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joke in here till yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well passion

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it has a lot of range, and you and I

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always choked you got to look out for these words

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with wide range. We love the word our compound word

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free spirit has a huge definition range there. Yeah, it

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could on a dating profile for a girl could mean

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she likes to travel a lot, or it could mean

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into gang bangs.

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Speaker 2: Right, yeah, watch out there, kids. Thank you for crow

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barring that into the show.

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Speaker 1: All Right, love the episode. It's going to be amazing season.

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I've been tipped off. I'm going to give it forty

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eight knots.

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Speaker 2: Forty eight knots is a very low score. So I

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thought it was a really fun episode. It was good

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to meet everybody. I'm kind of sad that that we

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lost one so early. I am sure she was cute.

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She looked like my ex Andrea. That's you were going

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to say that. I was going to say that. Yeah,

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I was going to say that, God Andrea. Huh m hm. Okay,

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So what did I think of the episode? The things

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that I just said, And I'll give it the same

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score of forty eight pots. So you know we're gonna

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be recapping Traders in a minute. The episode really kicks

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off with the pomp and circumstance of Peacocks the Traders.

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Wow a little round table?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, would you mind if I kind of

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kick this off?

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Speaker 2: Hey, I would love nothing more. Let me set the table. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Captain Jason a very serious Tony, he reflects on the

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last season and lets us know that can never happen again. Yeah, yeah, okay,

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because he had an environment filled with toxicity ding it

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had unwelcome advances, verbal abews. Oh and don't forget that

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sexual assault. Yeah, and this year, the first step forward

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to combat that is to.

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Speaker 2: Hire Daisy and and Joao and Ben. Yeah. Yeah. Basically,

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you know what this is is a bit of a

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Pandora's box that we've opened with this. It's a it's

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a fool's errand a wild goose chase. Telling sea rats

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to not be toxic is a little bit like trying

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to reason with a goat that keeps ramming you in

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the thigh. There's just it's not going to take a Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, especially since you were a participant in how your

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version of this show tanked and moved from air. Not

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only was your boat involved in all of these same activities,

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but you were having sex with the main perpetrator of

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all of them.

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Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait, I'm speaking.

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Speaker 1: Of Daisy having sex with Gary. I believe he's still

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under investigation.

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, listen.

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Speaker 1: By the way, poor Captain Glenn, why did he get

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his show taken away?

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Speaker 2: You jerks, you jerks. Honestly, that show was so was

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such a phenomenal iteration, and then they started thinking that

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they were more than sea rats. They started thinking that

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they were in this young and the restless at sea

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kind of thing. And the triangle of Daisy, Colin and

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Gary it just torpedoed the shell. It sucked the air.

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And you're right. The ultimate victim, you know, ironically, one

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that had claimed so many victims before they'd picked up

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cameras was the Murder of Horrors Captain Glenn, you know.

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And and it's just sad, It.

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Speaker 1: Really is sad now sad. Now I'm gonna give Daisy

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because I think she is a good person at heart

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another chance here. But I'm watching the trailer and she's

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up to old tricks again. Okay, you weren't going to

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torpedo this version there, dear, you are not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you just bust out a tom like okay. Oh,

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and lastly, that some other drama.

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Speaker 1: He's hired the most egotistical, self aggrandizing douchebag in the kitchen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he.

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Speaker 1: At one point, Dylan we recapped his first season on

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this show. He called one of his co workers a

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trailer trash prostitute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, to be fair to him, sounds like us to

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be He's right on the money, yeah, but.

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Speaker 1: It's rude nonetheless, Yes. And then jua as you point

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it out, has his own baggage.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean probably more than anybody. And it's

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important to remember that while we are saying that Jason's

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kind of Sascifian task that he's set out on. While

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it's impossible, there are marginal improvements that can be made

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because last season, if you'll remember, we had a South

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African that's sexually assaulted somebody and a Greek that broke

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his hand on the cabinets. So that's like, that's a two.

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We can get to a four. I'm looking forward to it.

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So Ben Juaan days you are going to be brought

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in because they're the most seasoned pros of the franchise.

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As we've kind of beat the horse dead, though it's

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important to remember that regardless of legacy, regardless of experience,

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everyone's here still a sea rat and they're going to

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do sea rat shit. Now we get back to this

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fish tank. I mean, I'm excited to hear your thoughts

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on the fish tank. Returning to the show.

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Speaker 1: Well he I guess he named all the fish in

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the tank after his crew.

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Speaker 2: Oh good one and and oh, by.

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Speaker 1: The way, in the world of fish, I can tell

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you that you never named the fish because they will die.

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Speaker 2: Well, my thing was that, What a tormentative and sick,

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jigsaw like thing to do to these creatures that are

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already struggling with one lifespan and two memory. So they've

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been named these other people, they're just trying to get

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a grip on where they are in this universe. Maybe

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they're starting to get there, and he changes their name.

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Speaker 1: Well, Dilly also missing the main story. Look out, Peter,

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that is way too small for that many fish.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay. So in the Caribbean we are. We

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are not in Australia. It is comals and it doesn't exist.

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You know, this show is taking place in the Twilight.

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Speaker 1: Can I talk about Ben because we get some background

256
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,720
on him. I haven't seen this idiot for a while.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: Ben gives us some background on how he ended up

259
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,080
back on this show, which I'm sure he loves.

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Speaker 2: It's very vague. At first, He's like, yeah, I needed

261
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I needed a change.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, he says and I quote because the

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stars aligned, and I guess that means his revenue aligned

264
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with bankruptcy.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: All so he begged Andy for his job back the.

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Speaker 2: Ben, We're so open to having you on the show. Ben,

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for the record, we'd love to have you. We would

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love to have you on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, although we've asked fourteen times and you've never responded.

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Speaker 2: Oh really, Oh yeah, Oh well see, you know what,

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I'm so glad that you're in charge of the DM

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because you know, I mean.

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Speaker 1: Whatever, Yeah, no, I look, no, I believe you keep.

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Speaker 2: Putting yourself out there to sea ruts. It's very unbecoming.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, it was in the early days of

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us getting started, and I thought those interviews would really

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grow the audience.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: No, but Ben, I'm not kidding. I know that your

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00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:20,960
catery business probably shipped the bed. I talked to my mom.

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She's an avid Fox News viewer. She says that Calmedie

283
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,960
over there and New York is really running out of the.

284
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Speaker 2: Business out of there. Oh really, that's what she said. Yeah,

285
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So anyway, I feel for you. Then, yeah, your mom's

286
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probably got a nuanced opinion on the matter of those

287
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:38,639
what's going on. That's what she's fucking communists running all

288
00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:42,399
the fucking business out of there. He's got he's got

289
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pedophiles teaching children. He's from the He's from the fucking

290
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Congo or something. That's what she said. Okay, So, yes,

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Ben's not doing well in his personal life, and you know,

292
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I'm happy for anybody that kind of takes the life

293
00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:03,360
ring their throat.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know, especially having to take a few

295
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:07,720
steps backward.

296
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Speaker 2: All the power to you. You know, Daisy is ready

297
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:13,679
for a clean slate. She had a tough time on Parsival,

298
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as we mentioned, but she's got a bob now. She

299
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has a bob now.

300
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, new haircut and a little shade to her former boat.

301
00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:23,720
Oh yeah, who wants to work on a small boat

302
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,840
where knife racks fly off the shelf and bludget you?

303
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,039
Speaker 2: It was fine to you? Got fired? Well, okay, so

304
00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:32,320
the rest of the Seerirats arrived. Mike is that, Hey, Caylen,

305
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,679
are we being a little too hard? I think we

306
00:16:33,679 --> 00:16:36,120
should cool? My am I high. I think we're at.

307
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:39,240
I think we're a little hot right now. We might,

308
00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:44,159
I know, yeah, I think we're at. Okay, I'm gonna

309
00:16:44,159 --> 00:16:45,840
be nicer. I'm gonna be nicer. I okay, I'm sorry,

310
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,480
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Let's talk about Mike the deck guy.

311
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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, he arrives for us. Obviously his hair

312
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:53,919
is a distraction. I'm gonna get to know him before

313
00:16:54,039 --> 00:16:57,360
I make up childish names for his ridiculous hair. Maybe

314
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,759
I'll just call him ridiculous hair.

315
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go with that to begin with, because he

316
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,559
wasn't that nicer. Yeah, Legoad, you should have seen what

317
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,400
I wanted to say. Legohead wouldn't work because there's an

318
00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:12,759
odd kind of like there's a volume to it. It's

319
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:16,400
not like completely like plaster. It's it's one of the

320
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,519
most confusing hairstyles I've ever mad. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

321
00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:23,480
Speaker 1: It's like a mothball was like flowing down the street

322
00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:26,000
like and starting to like pick up other like hair

323
00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:28,319
that was on the like road, and then it just

324
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,000
glued to his head as his hair.

325
00:17:30,039 --> 00:17:31,519
Speaker 2: If we can go back to fish and kind of

326
00:17:31,559 --> 00:17:33,400
do like an finding Nemo kind of thing, like his

327
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,079
hair reminds me of like the turtles and the jet stream.

328
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,759
So there's a bunch of like odd hairdoos, right, and

329
00:17:38,799 --> 00:17:40,920
they're all floating and then you know ones just like

330
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,480
so you guys. Later I found one and then it

331
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:45,720
just lands on his head, you know, doesn't it like

332
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,799
you know what? And then we boycott hair. You know

333
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,759
what I am? I think too high because hey, hey,

334
00:17:54,160 --> 00:18:04,559
that didn't make amen. I mean, wow, I just love

335
00:18:04,599 --> 00:18:06,880
those turtles so much. I wanted to try to reach

336
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,799
to compare them to something, you know what I mean? Okay,

337
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,640
so Jason. But the big thing about Mike and and

338
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,240
he's lovely, He's got a great attitude to start, he's

339
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,319
gonna be split pea. Yeah, and I think right away

340
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:24,279
Daisy is up to her old tricks. Now I'm a

341
00:18:24,279 --> 00:18:27,480
little wary of Daisy. I'm not the biggest fan of

342
00:18:27,519 --> 00:18:28,440
how she manages.

343
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,559
Speaker 1: And oh you don't you know you remember that time

344
00:18:33,599 --> 00:18:35,720
she was smoking a cigarette talking to her sister for

345
00:18:35,759 --> 00:18:37,759
ten minutes on the phone while one of the charter

346
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:39,720
guests had broken his nose and was bleeding out.

347
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she got to him eventually, but well, I mean,

348
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,839
you know, ten minutes. I gotta make a difference. It's

349
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,279
a broken nose. Let me have my sig. SIGs are

350
00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:54,279
important to see rats, they'll go nuts without them. Uh, no, no,

351
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,480
they are, and we've talked about it before. Sea rats

352
00:18:56,519 --> 00:18:58,839
and Malaysian children are some of the only people that

353
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,359
are keeping the tobacco industry of float right now, because

354
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,920
everybody's going to Chinese vapes and or Swedish snow. But

355
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,079
it's Malaysian children and sea rats. But I heard gen

356
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,480
Z is starting to smoke again. Evidently it's cool. Wow. Yeah,

357
00:19:15,519 --> 00:19:24,039
they're boofing camel lights. Okay, fuck fuck all right, let

358
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,319
me no, no, no, I got, I got, I got. One

359
00:19:26,319 --> 00:19:29,759
of the things that I could never really stand about

360
00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:37,000
Daisy was this interior placed above everything kind of attitude,

361
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,000
and you know, it was always like, why are you

362
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,359
guys not doing anything? Why are you're not helping us?

363
00:19:43,279 --> 00:19:46,279
You know, regardless of what the deck team was going through.

364
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:52,920
And she it's soft and this may be paranoid, you know, defensiveness,

365
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,559
but she's like, so how are we going to handle

366
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,359
the uh, the split between Mike and to me, I'm like,

367
00:19:58,559 --> 00:20:03,000
you know, Daisy's gonna want him fucking all the fucking time.

368
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,240
She's just gonna try to monopolize him. I feel like

369
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,400
I've seen it before. But anyways, it will happen. It

370
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,319
will happen. Juau.

371
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: He tells us why he's here, and it's something about

372
00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:13,759
learning a lot from Jason and wanting to learn. I'll

373
00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:17,880
be Jule's truth detector. Okay, there's cameras here. What do

374
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,200
you mean, well, that's why he's here. Oh oh yeah,

375
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,000
that's oh God, got the truth.

376
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,319
Speaker 2: You're that fat guy with the mustache and all the

377
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,039
Vanity Fair YouTube videos.

378
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's telling the truth.

379
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 2: Does he have that weird voice? I don't know. I

380
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,759
think he sounds pretty normal and not like he has

381
00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:39,039
a stoma. Sorry, it's okay. Let's meet the other kids.

382
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:42,200
We've got Jenna, We've got Joe. It turns out that

383
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,759
the escape that Ben needed was because of a fifty

384
00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:50,200
thousand dollars wedding that didn't happen. But he's inspired, so

385
00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:53,240
he's also super fucking horny. These women walk on the

386
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,880
boat and him and Joe are like six year olds. Again,

387
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,160
you know, it's like, well, aren't you guys like forty three?

388
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,559
So let's get to Jenna, who's sad, sounds like she's

389
00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:05,359
from Mars. Is this Jenna? This is Jenna? Okay, Jenna

390
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:11,079
has expensive tastes, but she also scrubs toilets, and she

391
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:16,319
says that being around wealthy people will kind of rub

392
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:21,400
off on you through osmosis. And while there's some truth

393
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:26,799
to you should surround yourself with impressive people. I think

394
00:21:26,799 --> 00:21:32,559
you're more likely to be taken out with a serial

395
00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:35,000
a gun with a serial number that's been scrubbed off.

396
00:21:35,039 --> 00:21:37,880
If you're around people that are chartering like really expensive yacht,

397
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,000
they're not going to pull the ladder up with you.

398
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:43,599
They're Russian oil magnates and stuff like that.

399
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 1: I will say this, she could end up getting a

400
00:21:47,319 --> 00:21:51,599
job at an oligarch's house, sure, and then maybe having

401
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:52,559
an affair.

402
00:21:52,799 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 2: I know that's the thing though you always want. And

403
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,759
if I could, just if I could give one piece

404
00:21:57,799 --> 00:22:01,799
of advice. If an old ark offers you a position

405
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,920
inside the oppera, you have to say no, things get

406
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,759
very messy. You could fall in love and die. You

407
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,319
could find something out and die. You know, look at

408
00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:13,480
Obama's chef. I mean these are extremely dangerous positions.

409
00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean the guy feared water and next thing

410
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,480
you know, he's like god.

411
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 2: With surfboarding. Yeah, he's not on a ways, he's got

412
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,680
a boogie board underneath him, but he's freaking dead and like, yeah,

413
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,440
it's just crazy stuff. So anyways, just don't all right?

414
00:22:27,519 --> 00:22:31,079
Next up? But two the Virgin I and we love

415
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,640
the Obama So of course if I would have voted

416
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,720
for him three times if I could, Yeah, I mean

417
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,400
it's crazy. And if you hate them, we do too.

418
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,559
We I don't know about hate, but I can't stand

419
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,119
what he did to the economy. Oh my god, Oh

420
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,599
my god, the economy. How about those drone strikes? Jesus,

421
00:22:49,839 --> 00:22:54,319
it's crazy, I get it. Wow. But two, what an

422
00:22:54,319 --> 00:22:55,039
interesting name?

423
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 1: Also a world at Disneyland.

424
00:22:57,079 --> 00:23:02,160
Speaker 2: Oh it's not but two. Oh no, that's not her

425
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,960
name because she's not from Star Wars. Let's move on

426
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,960
to our dear Alicia. Ah, yes, the Sue is back. Yes,

427
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,799
the young woman who is going to get the shit

428
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,000
beat out of her by Ben. Jason says, keep the

429
00:23:14,079 --> 00:23:17,400
sassy banter going and everything will be fine. And I

430
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,480
think what Jason didn't realize is actually that is the

431
00:23:20,519 --> 00:23:24,960
thing that is going to Uh. I just plunge the

432
00:23:25,079 --> 00:23:33,480
galley into oblivion because Ben is Listen, even if you

433
00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:39,039
had a tough spine and love to talk shit, the

434
00:23:39,079 --> 00:23:44,400
way he talks shit is just so cutting and fucking mean.

435
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,119
But to be fair to him, Alicia's still at Oprey

436
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,160
right now. Okay, she's got to, you know, dust the

437
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,720
cob webs out a little bit, because you know, if

438
00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:55,599
I looked at those cucumbers, I would have asked the

439
00:23:55,599 --> 00:24:00,880
same question, did you cut those with a hammer? Okay?

440
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: I feel like he's dealing her with a kid gloves.

441
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,319
I worked in a kitchen and they were crueler to

442
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,000
me and I was like, fourteen.

443
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,799
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well, real kitchen's violence occurs. Exactly.

444
00:24:09,839 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 1: Well, I want to say this, and you pointed this

445
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,119
out after last season. She had all the ambition in

446
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,880
the world and had planned on going to culinary school,

447
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,720
but you know, ski trip and that was, uh, you know,

448
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:26,640
that's when she just said fuck it. And it's like

449
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,279
she got designed in a c rat lab.

450
00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean, listen, who wants to work on

451
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,799
sauces for three weeks when you can freaking hit the

452
00:24:36,839 --> 00:24:39,559
slopes and have crazy sex and have hot chocolate for

453
00:24:39,599 --> 00:24:44,000
a while. You know, like that sounds so much better, exactly, Gota.

454
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,440
I've been skiing in so long. I really miss it,

455
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:53,440
don't you. No, I hate skiing. It's cold, When was

456
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,079
the last time you went to do snow sports like

457
00:24:56,799 --> 00:25:00,720
a like a ski, maybe a snowboard. I was pressured

458
00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:09,960
into it thirty years ago. Thirty years ago. Yeah, you

459
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,559
wouldn't go. What if the trip was completely paid for?

460
00:25:13,319 --> 00:25:17,000
Nice lodging, nice lodging, ski pass is paid for. That's

461
00:25:17,039 --> 00:25:18,440
like seven hundred and fifty dollars.

462
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 1: I'll go for my kids now, But I just for

463
00:25:20,759 --> 00:25:22,759
me on a personal level, I hate it.

464
00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:25,039
Speaker 2: Would you? Would you? Actually? Why does someone want to

465
00:25:25,079 --> 00:25:30,400
be cold? Why? Because it feels good? Now? What would

466
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,400
you actually ski? Though? No? So you would just sit

467
00:25:34,559 --> 00:25:37,400
in the cabin and just drink hot chocolate. You'll just

468
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,240
drink hot choco.

469
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 1: I don't understand why humans want to be cold. We

470
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,599
can migrate to warm places, right, go by the way,

471
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,160
go visit places where people are cold.

472
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 2: They're miserable. No that's not true. It is No, it's

473
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,039
not go I'll tell you why. Pat. The Scandinavian countries

474
00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:56,559
are the happiest countries on planet Earth. Oh no, no

475
00:25:56,599 --> 00:25:56,880
they're not.

476
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,319
Speaker 1: They have the highest suicide side rates on the planet.

477
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,759
Speaker 2: That's because they have euthanasia programs. But they're the happiest.

478
00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:06,640
People go to fucking Russia. Have you ever seen as

479
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,119
absolutely not. They've been under the thumb of crony communism

480
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,759
for I mean such a long time. You know. In fact,

481
00:26:14,799 --> 00:26:17,680
I think that the life expectancy of men is a

482
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:20,319
decade younger than the rest of the developed world because

483
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,200
of vodka ca pain. I'll tell you, well, why do

484
00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:24,880
they is the chicken under the egg?

485
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 1: I'm telling you above the equator, misery, misery below the equator.

486
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,640
Everyone's shaking their asses hot bodies.

487
00:26:32,079 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 2: Well, well, I mean there are also people like you know,

488
00:26:35,559 --> 00:26:37,519
getting their hands chopped off in Favela's.

489
00:26:37,519 --> 00:26:42,279
Speaker 1: I mean, there's no perfect place. My god, there's no utopia. Okay,

490
00:26:42,279 --> 00:26:43,960
it's just warm and cold.

491
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,079
Speaker 2: I can't believe you wouldn't ski. I mean it's one

492
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,960
of the coolest things. It's like one of the we'll

493
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,240
get back to the show, but I just really want

494
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,160
to quickly want to say, I mean, think about human ingenuity. Right,

495
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,759
you see a mountain, you go, you know, it'd be

496
00:26:53,759 --> 00:26:56,599
fucking fun fly down that thing. Well, you can't fly

497
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,119
down it, so you got to put things in. It's

498
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,359
like so fun. You're like you're wing down a mountain

499
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,680
on skis. It's like the coolest thing, and you're not

500
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,400
cold because you have all the jackets and stuff. We'll

501
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,680
go Okay, all right, let's get to the pre friendship. Man.

502
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:17,200
Heather Gay, Lisa Barlow, Meredith Marks, and Mary Crosby are

503
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,880
coming aboard this vessel, women of luxury and class. Daisy's

504
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,160
not gonna lie. She's a bit anxious about this now.

505
00:27:24,319 --> 00:27:26,640
The thing that made me the most anxious was the

506
00:27:26,759 --> 00:27:36,599
aqua banana. Okay, if I was a deckhand, I wouldn't

507
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,759
mind the ropes. I wouldn't mind the chains. Okay, the

508
00:27:38,839 --> 00:27:40,680
chain's scare me because I'm worried about my finger getting

509
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,720
ripped off, but I'd get over it. Okay, all that

510
00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:46,720
cool stuff, that's that's cool stuff. The second you tell

511
00:27:46,759 --> 00:27:50,480
me that I have to unbox and inflate and put

512
00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:56,319
together this fucking night mirarish uh Pergola in the water,

513
00:27:56,799 --> 00:28:00,799
I'm out. I'm not doing that. That's my least favorite thing.

514
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,119
It looks cool, it does look cool, but I mean

515
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,599
it's not worth a headache to put it together. I mean,

516
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,400
these poor fucking deckhands. So we get to Joe. She

517
00:28:09,599 --> 00:28:13,279
is Canadian and she likes warm stuff too. Lit'tle see

518
00:28:13,319 --> 00:28:14,720
red history with her. We did.

519
00:28:14,799 --> 00:28:17,799
Speaker 1: I feel like they the producers once again, once I

520
00:28:17,839 --> 00:28:19,920
have a good season where I'm having some fun.

521
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 2: Off mikes, later.

522
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 1: I understand now why I got a little shit from

523
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:25,720
a particular castmember last season.

524
00:28:25,839 --> 00:28:28,759
Speaker 2: Ya Sideways Sea rat History? Oh really Yeah, we'll get

525
00:28:28,759 --> 00:28:29,440
to that later.

526
00:28:29,319 --> 00:28:35,799
Speaker 1: Anyway, producers, producers, they realize I'm having a good season

527
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:38,559
with Sea rat History, and they just pull it away

528
00:28:38,559 --> 00:28:41,880
from me, like yeah, like Charlie Brown with Lucy Well Football.

529
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a very, it's a very. It's a long

530
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,640
dance you do with the production of really any reality

531
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,400
TV show that we cover. So what happens is, well,

532
00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:55,839
they'll film a season a year before we recap it.

533
00:28:56,079 --> 00:28:59,759
Then we'll recap the entire season. They implement the changes

534
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,519
you will not see for another year, right, you know,

535
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,559
But you do have this weird kind of dance with

536
00:29:06,599 --> 00:29:09,519
one another. I actually think it's quite beautiful. It is.

537
00:29:09,799 --> 00:29:13,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I can't. I can't just always be going

538
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,519
at one hundred miles an hour.

539
00:29:14,559 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: I guess no one can.

540
00:29:18,039 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: Anyway, Joe said she'd been I guess had some small

541
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,559
petty crimes or something. So we're just scratching the surface here.

542
00:29:23,599 --> 00:29:24,440
I hope she comes back.

543
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 2: Well, think think about the people that really did go

544
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:29,720
one hundred percent. You know, they're not with us any longer.

545
00:29:29,799 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: No, no, no, those are the people flying in those those

546
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,759
squirrels suits. Yes, yes, it's weird because if you're hanging

547
00:29:35,799 --> 00:29:37,440
out with that dude, like you're one of his buddies,

548
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,880
and then you go see you like the Avatar movie. Huh,

549
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,519
He's like, wow, I was really good, and I'm like, yeah,

550
00:29:41,559 --> 00:29:41,960
it's too bad.

551
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,119
Speaker 2: You're not going to see the next one, right, And

552
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,720
his name is like Jensen something sweetish ryeah. And so

553
00:29:47,799 --> 00:29:50,079
those people they go one hundred percent and what happens

554
00:29:50,119 --> 00:29:53,000
is they die. Bonnie and Clyde one hundred percent. They

555
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,440
got shot to smitherings, you know, John Dillinger, Thelma and Louise,

556
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,240
who else a bunch rock climbers. Yeah, Alex Hanald. By

557
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,480
the way, did you see that thing? What what the

558
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,200
scaling of the building on the Netflix?

559
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: Uh, that's where you were supposed to watch it live

560
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,759
because you could actually see a human being.

561
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,279
Speaker 2: Die in front of your eyes. Yeah, yea, yeah, wow

562
00:30:14,359 --> 00:30:18,759
what great TV. Yeah yeah, we're there, man, And you

563
00:30:18,799 --> 00:30:22,160
know it's it's cool. I mean, he's really talented man.

564
00:30:23,359 --> 00:30:25,880
So yeah, sea rat history as she made fake IDs.

565
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,920
The adr is already really really, really bad. We have

566
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,799
this whole moment where Daisy is fully eighty yard giving

567
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:41,839
the second stew to Jenna. Not a totally important moment

568
00:30:41,839 --> 00:30:44,119
in the show, but usually we see it. This is

569
00:30:44,279 --> 00:30:48,480
just complete sausage factory stuff. Did you enjoy?

570
00:30:48,519 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: When the crew is prepping the boat and Mike gets

571
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,480
to know Jenna, they're making the bed with each other

572
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,920
and he's like, yeah, what kind of guy are you into?

573
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,799
And she's like, not a filthy, fucking se rat, ridiculous hair.

574
00:31:02,119 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: Okay, Well it's so crazy. I'm not sure what's going

575
00:31:04,799 --> 00:31:08,200
on in uh in England with the young men because

576
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,880
Mike is a handsome guy, right, but he's he's he

577
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,359
looks like a he looks like a bit of a

578
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,599
fuck doll. There's there's the I went through a wind tunnel.

579
00:31:17,599 --> 00:31:20,200
Well they're doing like people are doing botox and like

580
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,079
lip filler and stuff like that, and I'm just like

581
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,480
what what? I just didn't I I don't get it.

582
00:31:24,519 --> 00:31:26,640
I'm too old, I don't I don't think this SNL

583
00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:28,000
is that good, you know what I mean?

584
00:31:28,519 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what happens you start thinking SNL sucks that

585
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,559
you've hit the I.

586
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:37,079
Speaker 2: Have a kink in my neck. I'm excited about getting

587
00:31:37,079 --> 00:31:42,359
a ppo. Okay, I'm old. Huh. I cannot tell you

588
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:48,480
how excited i am to make these appointments. I'm so

589
00:31:48,599 --> 00:31:52,480
excited it's crazy. I'm gonna go to a physical therapist

590
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,839
because I keep kinking my neck. I'm gonna go. I'm

591
00:31:55,839 --> 00:31:57,359
gonna get a physical. I don't have a physical in

592
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,680
a while. I'm probably gonna get my shitter looked at

593
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,720
because what Chadwick Boseman had to go through. You know,

594
00:32:01,759 --> 00:32:04,119
younger and younger men are dying of colon cancer every day.

595
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,319
So I'm gonna I'm gonna get therapy. I mean, I'm

596
00:32:07,359 --> 00:32:08,160
gonna do everything.

597
00:32:08,599 --> 00:32:11,559
Speaker 1: I was on a phone call with my money manager

598
00:32:11,599 --> 00:32:13,279
today and we're talking about my positions.

599
00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:16,839
Speaker 2: I'm looking at all these wave lines. Yeah, I'm old. Yeah,

600
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,799
I gotta say it's kind of great. Okay. So Asha

601
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:26,680
and Ben are getting on, No, Alicia and Ben are

602
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,319
getting on, and she says, what if I'm not good enough?

603
00:32:30,359 --> 00:32:33,599
And he says, you're passionate about cooking. It's fine. We

604
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,799
get to Eddie with the mustache. He was a late bloomer,

605
00:32:35,839 --> 00:32:38,440
and it turns out a bouquet of rugby dick helped

606
00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:42,359
him get over or overcome his body image issues. And

607
00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:45,039
I say, however you get over these things, just get

608
00:32:45,039 --> 00:32:46,319
over and feel proud to go for it.

609
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,559
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm sorry, I've lost my thought process

610
00:32:49,559 --> 00:32:52,240
for a second there. Did we already get to the

611
00:32:52,279 --> 00:32:54,599
point where Mike and Eddie are have a little powwow

612
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,319
over which coworker they'd like to bang?

613
00:32:56,759 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 2: Uh?

614
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,359
Speaker 1: No, oh okay, because that is a custom. It's like

615
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,240
the Holy Communion at church, but way more important.

616
00:33:03,759 --> 00:33:07,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of not though, right, Well you're saying it's

617
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:11,000
a sea rat sacrament. Well yeah, like it's like eating Jesus. Right, okay,

618
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:15,960
got it? Next morning. Next morning, Jenna's starting off with

619
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,039
quite a bossy tom.

620
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: Oh wait a minute, Sorry, we do get some sea

621
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,720
rat history from Eddie that I can mind.

622
00:33:23,039 --> 00:33:25,279
Speaker 2: That's what I said. He've got a bouquet of rugby

623
00:33:25,319 --> 00:33:27,400
dicks and it made him feel better about his own dick.

624
00:33:27,599 --> 00:33:30,200
Oh sorry, yeah, where'd you go? Well?

625
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,119
Speaker 1: I had a couple notes here because I was like,

626
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,079
where's the story? Dad drank too much? I was born

627
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:37,240
with three toes and my body was weird looking.

628
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, none of that just well that would have

629
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,000
been a story. Yeah, but you know, I mean all

630
00:33:45,039 --> 00:33:47,480
men have gone through that, you know. I mean, I

631
00:33:47,519 --> 00:33:49,720
certainly did. You get in the locker room and you

632
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,960
have these thirteen year olds that have these seven inch penises,

633
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,759
and you're just like, what kind of fucking monster island

634
00:33:55,759 --> 00:33:58,400
am I walking into? Right now? I have a cute,

635
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,519
tiny little penis and I feel horrible about it. You know. Yeah,

636
00:34:01,559 --> 00:34:04,160
it's tough. It's tough. It's really tough. It's tough. So

637
00:34:04,599 --> 00:34:08,440
next morning, Jenna's BOSSI, but the ladies are on their

638
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,440
way and we get to Alisha trying to cook eggs

639
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:16,159
of for tata in a stainless steel pan. One of

640
00:34:16,159 --> 00:34:23,039
my biggest pet peeves in life generally is not only

641
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:30,679
the stainless steel pan, which I loathe immensely, but the

642
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:39,039
collective culinary cultural gas lighting around this kind of cookery. Okay,

643
00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:42,199
there are some of the worst things you could possibly

644
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,320
have in a kitchen. People swear by them. The reason

645
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,840
this took place, that she burnt the bottom of the

646
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,159
fritata is because stainless steel fucking sucks, and in order

647
00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:54,519
to not have the eggs just stick and fucking you

648
00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:56,719
have to rip them off, and the whole thing's ruined

649
00:34:57,079 --> 00:35:01,559
is to turn the pan up to the sun's temperature

650
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,599
in order so that things don't stick. If you cook me,

651
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,719
it just gets you know, you know what? I hate

652
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:11,599
having to use bar keeper's helper to clean pots and pans.

653
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,360
You don't want to do that, right, you want nonstick.

654
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,199
I'd rather die of cancer when I'm older then use

655
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,039
stainless steel for the rest of my life.

656
00:35:20,039 --> 00:35:22,760
Speaker 1: So, Dylan, are you saying that this may have not

657
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,320
been Alicia's fault.

658
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: It's her fault for not knowing that that dish could

659
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,400
not be executed in that kind of path.

660
00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:33,760
Speaker 1: Second question, yep, And I like Alicia a buster her

661
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,840
balls a little bit here. Does she make it through

662
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:37,360
the season?

663
00:35:39,079 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 2: No?

664
00:35:39,639 --> 00:35:41,639
Speaker 1: I don't see a world where that takes place either.

665
00:35:41,679 --> 00:35:42,519
I'm sorry to say that.

666
00:35:42,679 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 2: And we should also say Ben didn't do that much better.

667
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,599
He put it in a non stick that was way

668
00:35:48,599 --> 00:35:50,880
too deep, and then it ripped the bottom out, and

669
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,840
he tried to play it off like nothing bad happened,

670
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,000
and then flipped the fritada, you know, bottom down so

671
00:35:57,079 --> 00:36:01,000
you can't see the goring that took place beneath Yeah,

672
00:36:01,079 --> 00:36:02,519
by the way, can I cutch you a meanwhile here

673
00:36:02,559 --> 00:36:02,960
of course.

674
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Captain Hotpants takes a phone call from Heather Gay,

675
00:36:07,039 --> 00:36:09,639
which is one of those classy ladies from Salt Lake

676
00:36:09,679 --> 00:36:12,159
City that where we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, and she says, hey,

677
00:36:12,159 --> 00:36:13,639
we're on a way and I hope you don't mind.

678
00:36:13,639 --> 00:36:15,320
I lied to TMZ and told him that you sat

679
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:16,800
on my face and we messed around.

680
00:36:16,599 --> 00:36:19,679
Speaker 2: A little bit. Yeah, okay, yeah, not even I sat

681
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,440
on your face. You sat on my face. He's a

682
00:36:22,519 --> 00:36:31,280
giant guy. So just backtracking a little bit. After the

683
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:36,880
Fretata is massacred by Alicia, she begins to get prettyctary

684
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,599
eyed and she's losing confidence and then she touches a

685
00:36:40,639 --> 00:36:44,679
plate and it's too hot and she starts to cry

686
00:36:45,199 --> 00:36:48,320
and she leaves the galley and this is mom, this

687
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:52,079
is ski you know, this is not the plate. This

688
00:36:52,159 --> 00:36:53,519
reminds me of that time I was going to make

689
00:36:53,519 --> 00:36:55,000
out with this girl named Tanna and I put my

690
00:36:55,039 --> 00:36:59,079
hand on the little HVAC thing in the backyard. It

691
00:36:59,119 --> 00:37:01,400
wasn't hot, but said I burnt my hand. I had

692
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,320
to go. I was just too scared to kiss a lady. Wow,

693
00:37:04,559 --> 00:37:08,519
I was way too scared. The plates weren't that hot.

694
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:13,480
This is mom, this is ski Wow. Yeah I know

695
00:37:14,119 --> 00:37:16,480
because Ben touched him. He's like, they're not that bad. Okay,

696
00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:25,440
So Jason, the ladies get there, and as we get

697
00:37:25,599 --> 00:37:29,119
a call that they're on their way, Joe gets a

698
00:37:29,119 --> 00:37:33,360
call Grandpa's dead or he's dying. He's one step closer

699
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,119
to knowing. He's one step closer to me.

700
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,519
Speaker 1: Unless he did something really bad in his life that

701
00:37:37,559 --> 00:37:39,920
we don't know about, which is possible, then he's not

702
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:40,400
going to heaven.

703
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 2: He's going to hell. Yeah. Oh for sure. If you

704
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,960
do like really bad shit, you'll go to hell. That's right.

705
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,559
And everybody knows that, like Kaylen, Klen's going to heaven.

706
00:37:50,679 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: Can I say this, I love people that have great

707
00:37:53,039 --> 00:37:54,280
relationships with you.

708
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 2: You acknowledge that Kaylen's going to heaven. Oh yeah, he's

709
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,360
a nice guy. I don't think he ever did anything bad.

710
00:37:58,639 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I because this has happened a couple times on

711
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,159
reality TV, where you see it's usually a girl by

712
00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:06,639
the way, their grandparents are ill and they'll leave the

713
00:38:06,679 --> 00:38:11,519
reality TV show to go be with their grandparents. I

714
00:38:11,559 --> 00:38:13,679
didn't have that kind of relationship. So I'm always in

715
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,239
awe that I wish I have that kind of relationship

716
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,800
because it's like, Wow, Okay, you're a good human being,

717
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:20,639
and they must have been good human beings because.

718
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 2: You're, you know, really love your job. Yeah.

719
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,760
Speaker 1: There was some idiot on the real world like ten

720
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,920
years ago. His mother was dying and she's about to die,

721
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:30,239
and he wouldn't leave the real world.

722
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and then she died. We have newspapers

723
00:38:33,199 --> 00:38:34,400
to deliver on camera.

724
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so she died while he was doing a

725
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:42,199
stupid show. So so this is an opportunity for all

726
00:38:42,199 --> 00:38:45,480
the Barnacles out there to leave us five stars on

727
00:38:45,599 --> 00:38:49,239
Apple Reviews and in the comments let us know.

728
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 2: Do you hate your family? I think that's a really

729
00:38:53,599 --> 00:38:57,880
really good idea. Five stars? And do you love your

730
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,840
family or hate your family? Really good?

731
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: And would you fly with your grandparents sick? Would you

732
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,480
fly to go see them?

733
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, starts from camal or wherever the fuck. That's right,

734
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:13,000
that's right, all right. So cut to Lisa Barlow as

735
00:39:13,039 --> 00:39:15,679
this girl is like crying dealing with her grandpa because

736
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:20,920
this is gonna be insane. So she's going home and

737
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,519
this was great TV, but a little fucked up on production,

738
00:39:23,599 --> 00:39:25,280
Like you don't need to kill the grandpa to get

739
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,239
the sea rat off, like just you know, I don't know. Anyways,

740
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:32,400
they're getting dark. Jason starts off with, as we mentioned

741
00:39:32,559 --> 00:39:34,360
when we covered this, the first thing you said to

742
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,519
them was we're gonna get you wet. Don't do that.

743
00:39:37,519 --> 00:39:41,119
That's fucking gross. So we do a little tour and

744
00:39:41,199 --> 00:39:44,199
we fight over beds and we find out that Whitney

745
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:52,159
sleeps naked. Thoughts on sleeping naked only after you have sex? Okay, Yeah,

746
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,920
I'm good with that. I always think, like in terms

747
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:01,559
of preparedness for crises, I just I don't want to

748
00:40:01,559 --> 00:40:05,360
be naked, you don't. How about Vicko Mortensen when he

749
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,400
was in that.

750
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: Film Eastern Promises, Yeah, man, you could fight better.

751
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,639
Speaker 2: No, you can't fight better, And you.

752
00:40:12,559 --> 00:40:14,280
Speaker 1: Don't want people grab it onto your shirt.

753
00:40:14,519 --> 00:40:16,159
Speaker 2: They can hold you down. What are they gonna grab

754
00:40:16,199 --> 00:40:20,360
onto your wang? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, good luck with that.

755
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,079
A glancing blow if you're in jeans, can be a

756
00:40:23,119 --> 00:40:25,280
glancing blow. You can be protected if somebody if there's

757
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,559
a glancing blow with let's say a butterfly knife or

758
00:40:29,039 --> 00:40:32,199
a throwing star. I don't know what these criminals have,

759
00:40:32,559 --> 00:40:35,039
you know, I don't want to be fully throwing star.

760
00:40:35,159 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, do you want a nineteen eighties movie.

761
00:40:37,079 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 2: Well, you don't know what these criminals have, and.

762
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: Uh, you know he hit me in my ball throwing star,

763
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:44,960
Jesus christ Man.

764
00:40:45,079 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 2: Some of these, some of these modern criminals could be,

765
00:40:48,639 --> 00:40:50,840
you know, wising up to the fact that we have

766
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,719
to go back to the more traditional ways of doing things.

767
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:57,360
And maybe sure can is you know, one of those

768
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,840
one of those answers. But I think more along the

769
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,039
line of earthquake. I mean, what if people need help,

770
00:41:02,079 --> 00:41:03,519
You have to run outside with your cat and your

771
00:41:03,519 --> 00:41:06,239
baby and your disgusting ass and your balls are out

772
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,119
for all your neighbors to see. All of a sudden

773
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,480
the door falls, you can't get inside again, and it's

774
00:41:11,519 --> 00:41:12,920
just I'm so scary.

775
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: Fair enough, Yeah, I'm still in the emergency room with

776
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,679
the doctor trying to pull a Chinese star out of

777
00:41:17,679 --> 00:41:18,320
my ball.

778
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 2: Right right right, yeah? Yeah. So anyway, so I'm so

779
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,679
sorry about this episode and how it really has made

780
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,960
not one like I since the entire time pretty much.

781
00:41:26,679 --> 00:41:31,880
All right, So we get to guest lunch he serves

782
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:36,679
them some disgusting collection of Christine as a snack. It's like,

783
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,159
Benny's my favorite. I'm so excited to get to Ben's

784
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:44,800
cooking because it's so uninspired, it's so underwhelmed, it's it's

785
00:41:45,119 --> 00:41:49,239
it's so fucking it's like two thousand and seven, you know.

786
00:41:50,599 --> 00:41:53,559
But we'll get there. So we get to lunch Ben

787
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,400
and Alisha. I think that if she was in a

788
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,880
better place, like I mentioned, the shit talking might be okay.

789
00:42:00,079 --> 00:42:03,920
She's so fragile, she's so vulnerable, so his shocking or

790
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,039
his shit talking is just going to detonate her. But

791
00:42:06,079 --> 00:42:09,239
Brittany starts to talk about her thirty day break from

792
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,440
Jared and Barlow. This is why Barlow is one of

793
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,639
the greats. She just says, he doesn't like you, he

794
00:42:15,679 --> 00:42:18,719
doesn't like you, and sometimes we need someone.

795
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,079
Speaker 1: Is this when they decide that it's a good idea

796
00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:24,840
to just douse her with water every time that I think,

797
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:30,000
So this was fun because this is when she gets

798
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,639
deals with water like that Witch of the Wicked West.

799
00:42:33,639 --> 00:42:35,760
But she doesn't die, she just gets more annoying.

800
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 2: You're speaking of Alphaba. Yeah, yeah, So Bromwin arrives in

801
00:42:42,519 --> 00:42:44,360
that outfit. Oh yeah, Katty, Patty here.

802
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,519
Speaker 1: Sorry, Oh yeah, it looks like a taxi threw up

803
00:42:47,519 --> 00:42:48,119
on a person.

804
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:56,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh for sure, real eyesore. Yeah, so the housewives

805
00:42:56,599 --> 00:42:59,039
just start to flip out. Okay, they've got two stews

806
00:42:59,039 --> 00:43:01,880
in the housewives are going unpack our bags? Did you

807
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,119
get can you get doctor pepper for me? Can you

808
00:43:04,159 --> 00:43:06,719
clean this puke? I'm puking? And then we get to lunch,

809
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:13,519
which is chicken tenders, sliders, and curried curried lobster salad. Now,

810
00:43:16,599 --> 00:43:19,320
I'm I don't spend a lot of the time in Utah,

811
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,360
and by that I mean I've never been, but I

812
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,320
would imagine that is it's a bit of a culinary desert. Okay,

813
00:43:30,639 --> 00:43:35,920
Sliders are not okay. Sliders are simply not okay. Okay,

814
00:43:36,679 --> 00:43:42,320
chicken tenders are simply not okay. That's okay at eleven thirty.

815
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:44,800
If we had dinner at seven, Oh.

816
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,599
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say the bottom of

817
00:43:46,639 --> 00:43:48,760
the menu for the kids menu, it is.

818
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 2: That's it's okay there, right. If you're at Universal Studios

819
00:43:56,039 --> 00:43:59,159
and you're sitting there with your family and you're miserable

820
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:03,400
and you're seeing ice detain people in the middle of

821
00:44:03,599 --> 00:44:08,280
the theme park, you can get sliders and tenders, or

822
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,280
if you're a bowling out someplace more fun, but not here.

823
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,719
It's like so nuts that you're in this tropical place

824
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:19,360
and you don't start off the season with something like,

825
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,679
I don't know, a savice, some kind of legeded t gray,

826
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:28,639
something light, a salad that's seasonal. Something we're putting out

827
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:34,880
fucking hockey puck burgers and chicken tenders. I think zero pots, Ben,

828
00:44:35,159 --> 00:44:36,079
Thank you? All right.

829
00:44:36,159 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: So Chef Adam and Chef Ben have a few things

830
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,960
in common. They were almost they started around the same time.

831
00:44:42,559 --> 00:44:45,599
They both hate people, which I think is bad if

832
00:44:45,599 --> 00:44:48,960
you're cooking for people. Ben did this on purpose. He's

833
00:44:49,079 --> 00:44:51,719
capable of way more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think

834
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,639
he despises these people, and he knew that they would

835
00:44:54,639 --> 00:44:57,440
accept this, and he did as little as possible.

836
00:44:57,519 --> 00:44:59,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like a fuck off kind of thing. So

837
00:45:00,679 --> 00:45:04,440
we get to the fight about the source of this

838
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,880
is more housewife stuff. We break all this stuff down

839
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,559
at Petro he Alicia at some point says she can

840
00:45:10,599 --> 00:45:14,360
make a cheesecake. And the second she said I can

841
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:19,599
make a cheesecake, I immediately knew that that was impossible. Okay,

842
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:23,639
Now I'm not saying I'm not saying that cheesecakes are

843
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:28,239
the most difficult thing in the world. But you know,

844
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,760
a New York style requires a water bath. A Basque

845
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,960
style doesn't. But it's a delicate bake, you know. And

846
00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:39,000
Alicia can't make a fortata right now. Now, forritatas are

847
00:45:39,119 --> 00:45:41,239
challenging in their own right. It's a lot of egg.

848
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,920
You know, you gotta flip it. It's challenging. But I

849
00:45:44,079 --> 00:45:47,679
was just overcome with doubt the second she said I'll

850
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,239
make a cheesecake. And it turns out that she did

851
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,320
not include one of the most important things in a cheesecake,

852
00:45:53,360 --> 00:46:02,800
which is sugar. So essentially what she did was she made.

853
00:46:01,639 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 1: Of cream cheese sour creamer.

854
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:11,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, some vaguely lactic cheese liquid with no sweetener. So

855
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:16,920
Ben is kind of flipping out here and going, I

856
00:46:17,199 --> 00:46:20,159
think we've got a big problem on our hands. I

857
00:46:20,159 --> 00:46:22,599
think that passion is a little too big of a word.

858
00:46:23,039 --> 00:46:27,119
But we get to dinner, which is barata salad with

859
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:30,239
a piccorino tweal and some kind of tomato sauce on

860
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,840
the bottom. Now this is we we go back to

861
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,239
two thousand and seven, but it's a little bit refined. Okay,

862
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,320
I'm good with a brulaid barrata. I'm good with a

863
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:44,360
tweal laid the top. But you know, this is we

864
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,920
didn't see the rest of the dinner. We'll talk about

865
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,320
it in one second, but we're just going off of appetizer.

866
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,079
I mean, this is his sixty nine A appetizer as

867
00:46:53,159 --> 00:46:57,559
you possibly, I mean, this is this is Ashley Simpson

868
00:46:57,639 --> 00:46:59,679
album kind of appetizer.

869
00:47:00,119 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: We are two, all right, where's Cabrera sitting there?

870
00:47:04,559 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 2: Cabrera? This is a this is a Ryan Cabrera appetizer. Okay,

871
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,840
spiky hair. Wow, I think actually, since it was probably

872
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,239
like two thousand and three, two thousand oh no, no, no,

873
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,079
I followed her career two thousand and seven, did she

874
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:25,000
really wow? Wow? I loved the show. What was the show?

875
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 1: I forget, but I watched both seasons.

876
00:47:27,559 --> 00:47:29,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was really good. I love that show. She

877
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,760
was moving out, yeah, you know, getting the house up

878
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:37,079
on Valley Glenn yeah, man, yeah, she lived right over

879
00:47:37,079 --> 00:47:39,679
here on arch Stone. Yeah yeah, yeah. That was really awesome.

880
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:44,679
So we have a problem. We wrapped the episode with

881
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:52,599
Ben being really pissed off that he's not getting time

882
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:57,480
cues from the interior, and what the interior is trying

883
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:03,559
to communicate to this just queen of a man, is

884
00:48:03,599 --> 00:48:09,280
that they can't give them accurate information right now because

885
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:14,360
the women are literally throwing glassware at one another. Okay,

886
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:21,920
so that that okay, it's it's impossible to give you

887
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,159
the information. We'll we'll feed them when we feed them,

888
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,440
and we'll see where we go with the rest of

889
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,679
the season. I mean, my gosh, what a way to

890
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,639
kick things off. You know, I think it actually was

891
00:48:32,639 --> 00:48:34,320
better than forty eight pots. I'm gonna give this episode

892
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,599
eighty one. It was entertaining. Yeah, it was pretty entertaining.

893
00:48:36,639 --> 00:48:38,000
Get in the comments, let us know what you thought

894
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,639
about the episode. We love you guys. Were ready for

895
00:48:40,679 --> 00:48:45,519
another brand new season of this show. And until next time,

896
00:48:45,519 --> 00:49:03,400
I'm dying sayingobye, Pat saying goodbye, kayl Yeah, the

897
00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: Rest