Speaker 1: Made Destan john.
Speaker 2: O Pace Sunny Sun.
Speaker 3: I had vision.
Speaker 1: Nat Hey, everybody, what's up? It's for crying out loud.
That's Stephanie Wilder tailor in the studio, in.
Speaker 3: The Nette Corolla.
Speaker 1: Thank you, missus Corolla, missus, missus Paradise.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I was just doing it the way that. Yeah,
Cammy did it.
Speaker 1: I know, little Cammy, this is Paradise betterty say, oh
my goodness.
Speaker 3: Okay, so are we just going with Paradise? That's it's
I'd like to change your ship, I think so. Yeah,
I love it. Yeah, it's a great name. Yeah.
Speaker 1: My my kid, Natalia is like, what the hell go
back to Parrot. If I were you, I'd go to Paradise. Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. Plus, if you want to get back into stripping.
Speaker 1: Right, you could use that as a first name. That's
true only fans.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: Kaylen got a giggle out of that. It was Stephanie's reaction.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just so excited for you. I should do it.
Speaker 3: I'm always like, what a great idea, excellent thinking. Yeah,
it's our hustler mentality.
Speaker 1: You know, we're scrappy onto the next.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, read it we'll have a field day
with that one. Oh my god, when that's starting only
yea headline page six gm Z.
Speaker 1: Next to me and my collection of burken bags, Oh
my god, and burn bags? Yes, yes, doesn't she have
enough burken bags now she has to do porn.
Speaker 3: You're like, come on, I don't have them in every
color I.
Speaker 1: I know I'm missing, like the olive drab color. By
the way, I'm going to be out of town for
the next two weeks. M going to Florida see Wendy,
my sister in law. She just got her divorces finalized.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay, mm hmm. You guys gonna do some celebrating.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And then well my nephew and the baby
are there too, so and I want to see them.
So they're there, and then so that's the first week,
and then at the end of the second week, we're
supposed to go to Scottsdale, Arizona for her. A bunch
of her girlfriends have like some airbnb thing. So I
think we're gonna do that. I don't know for sure yet, but.
Speaker 3: That'll be fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So you mean that's the second.
Speaker 1: Week, Yeah, a second week. I haven't gone anywhere for
two solid weeks. I don't think like before I was married. Wow,
it's but I mean I've gone on trips here and there,
but like not like this. But you know, the kids
are in school and stuff. And Phil he's got he's
he goes to his like doggy daycare place, so he's
taken care of and yeah, and I leave at six
am tomorrow morning. Tomorrow tomorrow morning. Oh so you're gonna
be gone a while three weeks.
Speaker 3: No, No, because you're getting week next week and then
you're missing the following week.
Speaker 1: I'm missing, So I go the rest of this week,
I miss next week's podcast, and then I'm back for
the other one.
Speaker 3: Oh you're no.
Speaker 1: I think I'm off that Monday. Yeah, just because I'm
gonna be coming back probably late Sunday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're having a little break. Yeah, I'm going
to have Meredith Lynch. I love loved.
Speaker 1: Listening to you guys on the podcast.
Speaker 3: It was fun. She's great, and she's gonna co host
with me.
Speaker 1: I wanted to come when I'm here, but I get it, well,
she can come back.
Speaker 3: She can come back, but she's always so full of
she she does a lot of gossip. I know, with
people like Bethany Frankel and great. She has a lot
of TikTok followers and she has a podcast. And then
the following week after that, I'm bringing in my friend
Tamra Mello who was on the show. Some people recognize
she's the one who has the jewelry line, Oh yes, yeah,
Gray by Tamramello, and it's a really great jewelry line.
She's super cool and she was on She was an
actress and she was on the show Popular. And some
people when I was talking about Gray by tam Ramello
were saying, oh, is she the same Tamramello that was
on Popular? And they were like, can she be on
the show? So I asked her come on? And so
she's gonna guest host with me.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's a natural, that's perfect.
Speaker 3: And she's also a speech and debate bomb. Oh so
I have some speech and debates.
Speaker 1: That'll be fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh well, thank you guys for holding the fork down. Yeah, Stephanie,
you want to go anywhere, take a trip. I mean,
we've been doing our show for fifteen years. We never
really I mean we take off the holidays or just
like Christmas, but we don't take off like Memorial Day
or Labor Day or Fourth of July or we're always here.
Speaker 3: Always here. Well, because how hard is podcast exactly? I
don't know. I mean, sure there's a burnout factor and
you know sometimes we have to recharge, but it's not
like exactly.
Speaker 2: Amy will always go like, oh, it's a holiday, are
you working? I was like, yeah, yeah, of course, oh
we all have this Monday off. I go all right,
well we'll go have fun.
Speaker 3: So really quick story that was so when I was
doing rose Pricks with not with my current host, Cecily,
but I was doing it with my friend to Angel,
we weren't like, I mean, we had been friends, she's
very busy. I had asked her to do it. I
sort of helped her get started in her career. So
she was like, all right, I'll do that podcast with you.
But I don't think she realized the time commitment involved
the you have to watch the Bachelor every week and
then she would you know, it was hard for anyway,
but we started to get into a groove and every
night we would watch The Bachelor, and then right afterwards,
like rite at ten because it was on eight to ten,
we'd go online onto the Zoom and then we'd record
our episode. She was like, I have to do it
at night because she has like a lot of kids
and you know whatever. So one night she just never
shows up, and I'm like, I'm texting her, Hey, angel,
lie you well, it's not live, it's but I recorded
and then I and then I edit it and air it.
Speaker 1: Oh you got in zoom with her.
Speaker 3: I'm on assume with her at ten o'clock at night
and we're I'm editing it over this, recording it, then
I edit it anyway. So I'm like waiting, texting her,
where are you where? What's hey? Hello? What happened? Did
you fall asleep? Never text me back. Then late that
night or the next day, she was like, oh, well sorry,
I was on a plane and I was like what
and she's like, well, I didn't think the show was airing,
or that we were doing a show was president because
it's President's Day.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I was like, bitch, are you high bank think first
of all, check the TV listing. The show is still aired,
and like we don't take off President's Day and like
it's like right, yeah, I was like, welcome to podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 3: I mean, of all, the holidays too, like you could see, right,
I could see some holidays.
Speaker 1: But like like a fourth of July or something.
Speaker 3: Now, right, I didn't think they were airing because it
was fourth of July. I didn't even check. You didn't
check its President's Day, Like ABC is just not having
their normal lineup because of what people's reverence for President's Day.
Speaker 1: It was crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really funny.
Speaker 1: It's not like when you forgot to show up when
Jill Zaron came in.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that was early days. I just wasn't
used to it yet. Yeah, I just I don't know
how that happened. I'll never forget that. I was coming
out of the gym and I think I had missed
calls and I hadn't. I don't know. I guess I
hadn't checked my phone. And then I was like and
then Gary was like, well if you left right now,
but I was like, I'm far away in my workout, cloak,
like I just worked out and she was already there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so I was like, just just go ahead,
and she was a handful. Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot.
You left me with her. No, it was fine, but yeah, yeah,
we've we now we rarely ever missed a sh a week.
Speaker 3: We're hard workers.
Speaker 1: We are come home with that dust on our face.
Calas hands.
Speaker 3: So all right, let me tell Let me go back
to my speech in debate. Yes, I got a whole
Saturday to.
Speaker 1: Get I've been waiting for days to get back.
Speaker 3: Okay, So Saturday morning I have to go pick up
I have. I have two kids with me.
Speaker 1: So you found out though about Xander.
Speaker 3: So so I get I have we have to leave
super early. I pick up two kids, We go to Starbucks,
we get to school crack of dawn. But I'm excited.
It's gonna be a good day. It was a good day.
See the coach in the morning and she says, oh, no,
I think okay. So then I don't get a round.
I don't have a ballot the first round. So I'm
just like hanging out. And then I see his coach
and she tells me, oh, yesterday, She's like, Xander's doing good.
Yesterday he was first place in his round.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: So I was like excited. Yeah. But again, it can
go either way, because sometimes you can get first place
in last place, like or like somebody that gets first
place in one round, you get last place in the
next round, not even depending on your performance. Again, it's
because these judges they're just basing it on like how
they feel in that moment. They don't there's no really
set criteria. So it's not like you have this rubric
and it's like, hey, all judges, you're gonna give them
first place if they were the most articulate or whatever.
It's like subjective. It's like, ah, maybe I connect with
Maybe I don't care about this kid's topic, even though
they were the most well spoken and you know, dynamic,
it's like, eh, I really didn't care about what they
had to say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just bizarre to mean that they just, especially
for state, to rely on no offense. But just like
parents that have never done it.
Speaker 3: Before or whatever got and there were so many parents
that raise their hands as brand new judges, never judged before.
Speaker 1: Oh let's see that.
Speaker 3: That makes when they're like okay, but you guys got
to take it really seriously because this is going to
determine whether these kids go to the state competition. It's
a big deal. They've worked hard all year and now
this is going to determine their future.
Speaker 1: So and what about those kids that go to state.
Are they judged by first time parents too? Like the
should it be this? Is it the same rule?
Speaker 3: So at state? No?
Speaker 1: But but to get to state, yeah, like in other states,
are they doing it the same way as we are
doing it here?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: So, I mean I would hope because it should be
the same across the board. But when you get to state, yeah,
So when you get to you.
Speaker 3: Can only if you're a judge. You have to have experience,
no matter what. If you're a brand new judge, you
can't judge at all. If you are a judge like me,
like my level where I've judged for a couple of years,
you can still only judge preliminary rounds.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: You have to have done a ton of judging, like
five years of judging or something to be able to
do the final.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm thinking right now, Stephanie, for your future,
your career.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told our coach, I was like, I wish
judging was a job. Yeah, because I'm so good at judging,
just in judge, just being judged. B Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then think about it, You're gonna be an empty nester.
You're gonna you know, you're gonna want to have something
to do you look forward to go into state every year?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? So I said that to the I
sent up to the podcast texting with the coach and
I said, like, god, I just love judging. It's so fun.
I wish I could do it for a living. I
wish it was a job. And she wrote back, well,
would you want to be my assistant coach? And she goes,
it doesn't pay, but it would be really fun. And
I literally was like, there's nothing I would rather not do.
But I'm like, I gotta nip this in the bud
right now. So I just wrote back. I was like,
oh my gosh, thank you so much. I was like,
I have like fourteen jobs right now. And I said,
so I can't really commit to that I go, but
I'm at your service anytime judges are needed. Yeah, And
then she was like, okay, well, yeah, kind of different, right.
Don't want to help these kids, I just want to
judge them all done being helped, Well, I want to
step in and do the hero work. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you kept volunteering at your kid's school even after
your kids.
Speaker 3: Are gone, Oh god no, no, I'm already getting burnt out.
Speaker 1: Okay, volunteer at my kids school.
Speaker 3: No, but I do the judging because you get hero
points for it. Because like, so few people show up
to do it. Why they're kind of intimidated. Yeah, it
seems hard, and a lot of people have enough sense
that they're like, I don't think i'd be good at this.
You know. I was really scared the first time I
did it. I was like, wait, wait, I'm the only
judge in the room. I pictured it as a panel. Yeah.
I thought it was going to be like America's Got Talent,
and I'd be able to chat with the other judges.
I could be the Howie Howie's like giving them like
good feedback and I'm like, I can do better, right,
But no, it's you're the only one. They cannot talk
to them. You can't. You don't talk to the kids,
or you don't give them any feedback. In the moment,
you just thank you, you know. But a lot of
these judges too, they think that they need to be
like really stonefaced so that they don't show any bias,
so they don't tip whether they liked it or not.
I think that's such bullshit. I'm like, if if I'm
liking a speech and I'm into it, I'm gonna like
tell my face, yes, show the kids that I'm enjoying it,
like why why should you? Right? It just makes people
more nervous. It's like I agree, stand up now, or
like I'll tell you afterwards if I thought you were funny.
Speaker 1: Right not gonna laugh right, Yeah, I agree one thousand
percent with that. I would kid, yes, yes, yes, I
mean even when you and I are talking or we
have a guest on the show, I'm always like nodding
and smiling and nodding my head and smile like I
just that's how I and I can't help myself. That's
just yes, you know you're the same way, like you
want to make people feel comfortable. If you're enjoying them,
then let them.
Speaker 3: And if I like something like I really like it,
I'm definitely a little bit hard to please. But once
i'm in, like I'll know if I like somebody from
like the beginning of their speech all right down, like okay,
like number one right, because you can just tell right
away if you're gonna be engaged. Sometimes they're funny right away.
Sometimes they're just charming right away, like they have a
great opening line. It's like it's like stand up, yes,
you feel comfortable right away, or you're nervous for them
a little bit because you're like or especially with some
of the rounds, like the impromptu where they have to
write the speech on the spot, some of them are
really good at it and some of them are really
not great, and right away you feel like, oh, this
person struggling. But I always smile at them and kind
of not and like I'm encouraging and I've seen how
some of these judges are and like Xander will tell me,
some of them just really well, I'll tell Okay, the
story is going to get good in a minute, because
this is I get mad at a coach.
Speaker 1: It's all good, I know.
Speaker 3: So okay, you get mad at a coach. Yes, okay.
So here's what happens Saturday morning. First two rounds single,
you're just a judge by yourself. Then you find out
and in Xander's category, in three of the biggest categories,
they had a semi finals round. So not all the
kids are going to make it from so twenty seven
kids in this original oratory, eighteen of them made it
to the Semifinalsky So Xander was like tense about it
because he's like, oh, what if I don't make it
to semifinals. So last one he didn't make it to
the he didn't. It's called breaking, break away from the
rest of them. If you break. If you don't break,
it means you don't advance. So if you break, you're
going to the next round and you have something to do.
If you don't break, it's like hard for these kids,
they're done right, you know. So if you don't make
it to the semifinals and you're going to be one
of like nine kids, you know, and.
Speaker 1: What do they do the rest of the day.
Speaker 3: They either wait around or their parents could come get them,
they could leave. It's not like normally done anyway. So
I find out kind of early that Xander made it
to the semi finals, and of course I was really relieved.
He broke to the semi finals, and I was so
relieved because in the last I was just nervous from
the last one where he didn't get to the finals.
But this time he got to the semi finals, which
was a big deal, so he was excited. So then
he does his semi okay, So I judged a semifinal round.
Three judges in the semi finals in their own rooms,
or well, there were three judges in the semi finals
and three judges in a bunch of the finals for
smaller categories. Okay, Xander had three judges in the semi finals,
and then, as you know, because you know what happened,
he went to the finals. Five judges in that room.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you ever have to judge him?
Speaker 3: No, I'm not allowed to.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: I can't judge anybody from our school. Oh okay, So
I can only judge I can't have any conflict. So like,
I can't judge my friend Julie's kid because I know her,
and if somebody saw that I was like hanging out
with her and they knew I knew her kid, it
would be they could report it, you know. So they're
very they take it really seriously, except that they have
judges who have no fuckingout what they're doing. Okay, so
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with via Okay, Okay, So I'm assigned this category called
humorous interpretation. Hi, and there's three judges in the room.
So it's me, a woman, a guy, kind of older guy.
Speaker 1: And by the way, was that guy back, the one
that was like, I'm gonna give him a rating of
seventy six or something and you were like, oh the
one well shadowy yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I didn't
see him, remember back? Okay? Okay. Uh, So there's three
of you in the room, three of.
Speaker 3: Us in the room. Guy right away, this woman is
annoying me. I mean, so Julie and I have done
finals together before, We've been assigned the same room, and
we always have the best. It's the best because like
you watch all the kids, then you put in your ranking,
so you watch all this is how you judge. You
watch all the kids, you take little you take notes
about what it was about, and then you decide who's first, second, third, fourth, fifth,
and SIXTHKA for seventh. So Julie and I put in
do our rankings? You don't, you don't. We don't confer.
You have to do it yourself. Put in our rankings.
But then we like to talk amongst ourselves after the
kids are gone and go like, okay, were we on
the same page with that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fun?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and go like, oh my god, we both
have the same number one, but we have such different
number twos. You know it's fun?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure. Why would you not want to
write fun for yourself? Of course, So first.
Speaker 3: Right away, this woman is like, have you uh, have
you judged HI before? And I said, no, I haven't
actually judged HI, but I judged d I, which is
dramatic interpretation, and I've I've watched HI. And she's like, okay,
and she starts giving me instructions on how to judge it.
She's she's like and she's very serious, and she's like, well,
you have to judge based on like articulation and the
blah blah blah and whether the characters are defined. And
I was like, oh, yeah, I've judged a lot. She's like, oh,
you have experienced judging and I said yeah, I've been
doing this. This is like my second year judging. And
she's like oh and then okay, and then the guy
is kind of like really friendly and like so I said, yeah,
so hey, you know, it's fun afterward. This is before
the kids came in. Okay, before the kids walk in
the room, I was like, you know, if you want,
if you guys want afterwards, after we do our rankings,
like we could talk and like compare notes, and the
guy goes, ah, that's fun, like after we and she
was like dead silence, and I was like or not,
you know, She's like hmmm. So then the kids come in.
The kids come in, and then she's okay, and this
is going to sound like you're not going to really
understand what I'm talking about. But these kids have a piece.
It's planned. It's ten minutes. Can't it's not supposed to
go over ten minutes. On some types of events, you
have to tell them what time it is. It's the
events where they're just talking off the top of their head.
They don't they can't time themselves. Yeah, you're at like,
if they're doing impromptu, they have five minutes to give
a speech, so you're supposed to show them you have
four minutes left, you have three minutes left, you have
two minutes left, you have one. They just puts so
the kid can see it. They just don't, but the
kids are. The kids are Also you're in another school's classroom,
so you'd have to bring clocks for every room. But
sometimes if the kids will be like, can you give
me a time signal at like nine minutes? So you're like,
of course. So the kids walk in and right away
this woman is like, okay, how would you all like
your time signals? Which, and the kids look confused because
that's not a thing. But she's acting like she's this
super experienced judge. She's like, I've been doing this a
long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah how long? Did anybody ask how long she's been
doing it?
Speaker 3: No? So then she was arguing kind of with the kids.
She made everybody feel uncomfortable because she's like, so the
one kid, She's like, okay, well, who's double. She was
good getting in the weeds about stuff that the kids
already know how to handle themselves. Who's double entered. Here,
is somebody going to go first? Is this person in
the room?
Speaker 1: It's making it.
Speaker 3: All the kids are in the fucking room. There's seven
kids on our thing. There's seven kids in the room.
It's not that hard. It's not like a full classroom. Right,
there's seven kids. They're all there. Right, She's like, is
everybody in the room. She starts going, okay, everybody, what's
your code? What's your code? The kids are looking at
her like she's high, you know, let's share. She's so
serious because these kids are all they all are assigned
a code. We don't know their names because it's very
serious state qualifiers. They don't want any bias. They don't
want you to recognize the name of a kid. So
it's all codes. But it's you can ask them that.
Right before they start, She's asking all the kids like,
what where do you want your time signals? The kids
are like, oh, we don't really need them. One of
the kids is like, well, I'll take one at like
nine minutes. In my mind, I'm like, you're going to
have to do this all over again for each kid. Yeah,
you're going to write down every kid, right, So the
first kid, so now it's time. You're supposed to start
exactly on time, right, because some of these kids do
have to get to a different room. Okay. So it's
like I'm like, okay, we're ready to go. Who's you know? First?
Up is so and so and she's like I need
a minute. Ah.
Speaker 1: She's one of these people like you give them a
little bit of juice. It's just like it just a
little bit of juice. And it's like, ah, they gotta
have their tiny time and I need to wozu and
give me your codes and da da dah. I've been
doing this for a long time.
Speaker 3: And that it's like, and you have her, n you
have her code, got her coman? What the fuck I know?
Is exactly. I had your voice in my head when
I went to go tell my friend afterwards, I was like,
oh my god, this judge. I almost like had to
say something. It was so awful that I literally had
to make eye contact with some of the kids to
be like, oh, don't group me in with this.
Speaker 1: Right right, I'm not with her. That was stupid.
Speaker 3: That was stupid. Nope, I literally looked at what I
love that totally made eye contact and gave him like
a like raise my eyebrows, like I'm not, like, I
don't know what she's what is she doing? Because the
kids were like, you need a minute? What what do
you need a minute to day? You gather your meditate,
what what are you doing? So then so then the
first person goes and she makes this really big deal
and Xander makes fun of this too because they like
to go, okay, are you are you ready on your
first word? A lot of that you start the clock
at their first word, but we all know that, like
the kids know that they've been practicing this fucking thing
for months. This isn't their first rodeo. You have to
tell them that you're going to start timing them on
their first word. It's so extra. It was very extra.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it.
Speaker 3: Was very I've got some juice. She she basically elected
herself jury four persons. Yes, it's like, we don't need.
Speaker 1: A four person's exactly right, we're all equal here.
Speaker 3: You're not in charge. So then she continued to be
annoying through the whole thing. Every single person that came up,
she was like, please, what's your code? Like to double
check it? And then she did the on your first
word and also would ask them, every single person, do
you need a time signal? And most of them are like, no,
thank you, it's timed. It's gonna be what, it's gonna
be right. You're not going to rush through it because
you've told them they have one minute left, they're gonna
do their piece. Oh my god God. And then when
one kid was like, okay, sure you can. Can you
let me know when I have a minute left, she
was like okay, I'll do it. You're like, of course
you will. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I love that you ran into somebody like this. Yes,
this is perfect, totally pictured the whole thing, the look
on your face, I look, the look between you, and
the eye contact with the kids.
Speaker 3: The best part was that. So after the round, after
it was done and the kids were done, I literally
i'd been doing notes during it, did my rankings, closed
my computer, put it in my bag, and I was like,
see you guys in the judge room. Like, no, I
was not going to have any conversation. Yeah, I was
like bye. Then later, okay, that night, I knew there
was something about this judge's name because you can see
who's your judges are, and I was like, I recognize
that name, and I have a bad connotation with it.
Sure enough, I went back and looked at a previous
event and she'd given Xander like a really low score.
Speaker 1: No she did not hunt, Wow, Well, of course she did.
Speaker 3: Of course she did. She has no sense of humor, right,
super super serious. She probably thought Xander's piece just wasn't serious, right,
you know she's one of those, didn't you know. Yeah,
I don't resonate with this. This is the not well
researched enough whatever. I was like, oh my god, I
just don't like this type neither. Yeah, so okay, so
go back in the room. Okay, so Xander had his
That was when Xander was having his semifinal round. So
then I was so nervous. I was asking the coach like,
do we know anything? Do we know anything? She's like,
I don't know. I don't know what his scores are.
Then I found out. Then Xander texted me and he's
like time for finals with like an emoji with sunglasses
on it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yes. So then so my friend's daughter had already had
her finals. Xander's category was so big that they had
a semi finals. Some of the other categories already had
their finals, so my friend already found out. Okay, so
out of the there's a top seven finalists. Then the
top five of the type seven are the ones that
qualify to go to state. So you can get to
the finals in your category and still not get to state,
which would be just so brutal. If you're in seventh
place or sixth place of the finalists, you're not going
to state.
Speaker 1: So did he have to just do his his just
his one category.
Speaker 3: Yes, so there's one category. So then he did the
semi finals and had three judges. So what they're doing
is they're tabulating all the scores, so from the one judge,
from the next judge, from the next judge, then from
the three judges, each judge is giving him a ranking. Okay,
so I knew that he had was in first place
from the first judge, but now he's had a second
judge and a third judge, and then three more judges
in the semi finals.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he's going either way. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 3: So then when he's in the finals, he has five judges,
so that's going to wait heavily. So I did find
out later that he was in third place going into
the finals, which is great, but if you don't do
well in the finals, and I've I've seen people have
first place, first place, second place, second place, go into
the finals and get last place and not be in
the top not getting award, right, so there's no sure thing. Yeah,
so yeah, So he did his finals. He told me
he felt like pretty good, but he was really worried
that he went over time. For the best reason. He's like, mom,
So in the finals, normally there are only the kids
that are the entry, you know, the seven kids or
six or five kids, and the judge. But in the
big finals, most of the kids were already done with
their finals. Tons of kids went to go watch the
finals of his round. So he said a packed room,
wow room, other parents, tons of kids.
Speaker 1: Holy sister.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, were you nervous
And he goes, no, it made it better because I
feed off the.
Speaker 1: Energy, like I had a crowd.
Speaker 3: He's basical kind of doing stand up because his piece
is really funny. So he told me that he thought
he might have gone over time because he had to
pause for laughing after no way all his jokes, and
I was like, I love that. He's like I was
getting like really big laughs. I had to wait and.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that's good. You know, I'm excited for him,
and he's like, yeah, but you just like you don't know.
Speaker 3: But kids were laughing. But like some of the judges,
I wasn't sure.
Speaker 1: But like I would think, if you're a judge and
you get that reaction from me, I don't know, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but okay, So this is what happens. Afterward. It
was him and this other girl who was from his
category but didn't make it to the finals, and she
was like, she's like, Xander did really well. She goes,
but every single kid in this in this final round
was amazing, and Xander goes, mom, these kids were so good.
He was like they were they were like phenomenal. He's like,
I don't know, it could go either way. He's like,
I don't feel like I did way better than other people.
He's like, they were so so good. It was really
scary competition. So I didn't know. So we went into
the awaran ceremony. He wasn't nervous that during this or
was he He said he wasn't that nervous for the finals.
Speaker 1: Like waiting around him, he felt good.
Speaker 3: Because he said, Well, he said it's because sometimes he's
more nervous when there's one judge and just the kids
because there's tension in the room. Yeah, and the judge
will sit there stone faced. Yeah, he's like it felt
better to have five judges plus all these kids because
he's like, everybody was joking with each other and yeah,
you know, you're in the finals and everybody's supporting each
other and you've got friends in the room who are
like supporting you. Now, the fact that he has no
like he can get up in front, I mean, that's
one of the scariest things for people is to get
up and speak in front of a crowd and stuff
like that. I know, And the fact that he has
he doesn't, it doesn't bother him is a huge I
guess he gets nervous ahead of time and he gets
nervous like I think, right, well, he does get nervous
in the rounds, but he said he wasn't nervous in
the finals. He said it was partially because he was
in the finals, right, So he's.
Speaker 1: Like he's made it in his mind. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3: I can't control the outcome, but like I made it
this far and that's good, didn't embarrass I didn't embarrass myself,
Like right, yeah, I think he already felt good when
he made semi finals, but then making it like I know,
it was like yeah.
Speaker 1: Because then anything else is creamy.
Speaker 3: And he even said because before this, leading up to it,
he'd been like, I have to make it to State.
I really want it, and I was like, but there's
no way to know, like it's so arbitrary, and he's like,
I know, I just really want it. But then right
before the thing, he's like, you know what if I
don't make it, if I don't go to State, it's okay.
He's like, I had a really good time. This was
so fun. It's like the time of my life. And
he's like, so whatever happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, such a great kid.
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of in let's I will. I will
give you the very end, and I have a little
more irritation, but I can't wait. Let's talk about Alloy
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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So the award ceremony happens. All the different
categories go up on stage right, and then they call
you out.
Speaker 1: Now, how long have you been there at this point?
Speaker 3: Like, but well, this is a twelve hour day, so
at this point I don't even know nine hours right then,
So the award ceremony happens at like whatever time of
night it is. This is where some parents do show
up for this. You got all the judges are in
the room, all the kids are in the room, and
then they bring you up category by category and they
they go in play the final. All the finalists go
to the stage. Seventh finalists that seventh place and sixth
place are not going to state. So that you don't
want to be seventh or six. So I was so nervous.
And at this point we already knew that Julie's daughter
was going to State, so we were relaxed about her,
but we didn't know what place she was going to take. Okay, okay,
So her category went up first, and then they she
made she was second. Well was her category was declamation,
which is where you deliver a speech. Yeah, and she
does really well, so she got second place. Smaller category though,
I think there were only fourteen kids in hers, So
it was going to be more difficult for Xander to
qualify because a lot more competition. Seven kids thing, so
top seven are on stage when they get to Xander
seventh place, not Xander. They always call out by the
high school, so it'll be like, uh, from Valencia High School,
and then it's the name, so I'm just hoping they
don't say the name of my kids' school, so they
go for Valencia High School. Seventh place. This person in
the sixth place from shamana U huh, so we knew
at that point. You can hear me on the video
going qualify.
Speaker 1: Yes, the video is awesome.
Speaker 3: Fifth place from such and such a high school at
this time, like Stephanie's high school and this place not Stephanie's.
Then there were three kids on stage and I'm like,
there's no way he's over third place, third place not Xander.
And then second place was Xander. Wow, he almost was first.
He almost won the whole thing. Insane. I know he was.
Speaker 1: We probably did win the whole I mean he was
up there the final two. Like that's huge, I know,
I fucking Hugh.
Speaker 3: It was really cute because it's crowd. They're also supportive
of each other. Yeah, kids make friends all these different
high schools. They're all rooting for each other. It's the
they're all very competitive kids. They're all just nice kids,
you know.
Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, they're so not like basketball.
Speaker 3: They're all hugging each other and saying good job. And
even the kids like from our school that didn't make
it to the finals are so happy for the kids
that do.
Speaker 1: It's like a really nice I love that.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that happens. We're all happy. So what happens? Nick? Like?
Where is is the So the state competition this year
is local. It's in Culver City, Okay, and it's in
May May second through whoa I know.
Speaker 1: You guys, are you going to stay down there? Are
you just going to drive down there?
Speaker 3: Maybe we might maybe stay over Friday night because he
has to be on stage doing it. We have to
be checked in at like eight am. Yeah. On the
other hand, I don't know if it's you.
Speaker 1: Know, when I when I and when she was doing
Natalia had a volleyball and it was like in culvers
or whatever. But it's like kind of there was one
time that I was glad. I usually just drove her,
but there was one time I got her and I
got a room for the night, like from before the
game and all the parents and this was the year
that I loved all the parents. And then there was
parents from other schools that came and joined us. It
was really nice. There was like a fire pit outside.
It was like a you know, a mass what do
you call Marriott or whatever, but it was like the back,
you know, they had like this like fire deck and
everybody was just talking and it was just really nice
to have that bonding. That was the one time where
I felt like, oh, this was nice to spend the
night before a game.
Speaker 3: Well, the only thing I'm wondering, m I mean, I
could maybe talk the other my mom friends yea to
it and doing it too, because that would that might
make it fun if we all got oh yeah yeah,
or if we both got rit whatever. But the only
thing is, like the other kids from our school, it's
a small group that qualified for state. There's like four
or five maybe five kids. Yeah, and I don't know
any of their parents. These are just random kids in school, right,
so i'd have to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure Tina's mom's not going to be there.
Speaker 3: Oh god, no, well no, yeah, well Tina didn't.
Speaker 1: Qualify for state, and yeah I get that.
Speaker 3: Mollie didn't qualify for state. Yeah, so I maybe, but yeah,
just for the convenience of being really well, that's nice case, yeah,
in case we could just walk over there like mm,
because are you want to go take a rest or
something during down to I don't know, I never I
just I just never really did it when with Natalia.
But I when you're bringing this, I just remember the
one or two times we did do it.
Speaker 1: It was so convenient. It was nice, you know, like
going back and forth across the street. We had a
place that like, you know, our stuff was I don't know, it.
Speaker 3: Would have been more fun. I think if it was
out of state, I mean not but out of LA
because last year it was in Fresno, I guess the
year before it was in like Carlsbad. Yeah, and then
you have a reason. Then you can just get a
hotel right by where it is. But this is like
it's it's a weird because Culver City.
Speaker 1: Yeah that right, Yeah, yeah, it's like on a Saturday morning,
it's like a thirty five minute drive.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. I don't know anyway, Yeah, but that was
so that was really exciting. So then so then it's
time to leave. Now I've got Molly with us again.
I picked her up in the morning, I got Xander.
I start hearing rumblings when we're in the auditor before
before the ceremony really starts. I'm hearing these kids rumbling about,
like Tina doesn't have a ride at home. So I
tried to ignore it. I just like I pretended I
didn't hear anybody. I wasn't going to be like, oh
I got yeah. So I'm like, oh no, I'm not
not doing it. So I like kind of make myself scarce.
But but Xander's sitting in this row with them. So
at one point I was talking to Xander again, and
then I hear Xander's mom and it's the it's not
even it's not even Tina, it's Molly again, Like, Tina
doesn't have a ride, Is there any way you could
take her again? And she this girl doesn't look at me. Why,
it's just like looking off into space, Like what is.
Speaker 1: Molly her agent? Why is she speaking up for?
Speaker 3: I guess I get that Tina's maybe embarrassed that she
doesn't have a ride, but like, and it's not again,
it's not Tina's stick, Like, right, you don't have anybody
that's even communicating with you that's even like.
Speaker 1: How you doing?
Speaker 3: I guess not.
Speaker 1: I mean she's gone her all day, like twelve excuse me,
twelve hours and nobody's like checking in with her and
going like, hey, how you doing?
Speaker 3: Do you have a ride?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: I guess they expected her to take the bus again.
Speaker 1: Something's up there.
Speaker 3: It's so weird that even later I was I was like, Okay,
I mean, what am I gonna do? What am I
gonna do? I say, no, I'm not going to drive
you home? So I drove her home way out of
the way. You're so tired, she had her keys this time.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: And then I dropped the other girl off and then
I was like, let's go get some dinner and I
took Xander to sushi. Ooh, and then we got to
have a little fun debrief time.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so nice.
Speaker 3: It was great.
Speaker 1: It was he he was just happy about it, like
he must have been.
Speaker 3: He was so happy. But he was so tired because
imagine too, he's in ap classes, He's got a lot
of homework every night. He had a full week. Then
Friday went straight from school and had to compete and
got home late. Then Saturday twelve hours and then he
had a rehearsal the next day too for the play
for Greece.
Speaker 1: Oh, the Grease. Watch it. I just thinking about I
don't want you to watch it. Don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think you should watch.
Speaker 1: Don't watch it. Don't watch it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna watch it.
Speaker 1: Don't you don't don't psychology, don't watch it?
Speaker 3: So funny. Yeah, So anyway, he's just really tired. It
was a lot of build up for all these kids. Dude,
what if he wins state that he's not going to
This is all from all over the state, the best
of the best, and I gotta be honest. Xander's speech
is good, but mostly because it's funny and it's like personable.
He doesn't quite deliver his speeches the way the other kids.
It's not like Chris blocking. He's like, I just go
with what I feel in the moment. It's genuine, and
he's like, I like to be conversational. I don't like
to be super performative, but like he does what he does,
and he's freaking funny. What if he's gonna be a
stand up wants to I.
Speaker 1: Couldn't totally see that, So I have a frog in
my throat. He could have, like he could have his
Netflix special. I'm serious.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: I do not wish You're gonna be anybody though, I know,
but you.
Speaker 1: Can be his little you know, his stage mom, his mamager.
Speaker 3: He's just he's a really funny kid. I'm just very
I'm very very proud of him. I am too. I'm
proud of how much, how how much work he puts
into like what he does. You know, it's he's so different.
Speaker 1: He's disciplined.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, who are you? He's it's he's got
a good mix of me and John because John is
a more disciplined than I am, and but I think
he gets like some of his some humor. But John's
also super smart and yeah, you know, he's just he
got like some good yeah, some good quality. That's great.
He's just gonna go far, this kid. And he's also
I just want to say, he's also really caring, Like
he's very empathetic and he's always supportive and like if
for some of his friends where things didn't go that well,
he was.
Speaker 1: Super like, oh no, I could see.
Speaker 3: This kid's such a great kid, Like, oh, I'm so
upset that they didn't like hit the finals in their
category or whatever.
Speaker 1: You know, he's just like, I haven't come on the
show soon. Yeah, I love to hear his like side
of things.
Speaker 3: He hasn't been on in a while, I know, maybe
like on his spring break. Yeah yeah, I'll have him
come in anyway. Okay, this was has and lows, But
before we go, let's talk about the Chase Hayley Project.
That's Christas. Stroup is doing this for her friend Sarah,
who lost her son Chase to suicide and he was
only twenty one, and she's trying to break the stigma
surrounding suicide and help fill the gaps in her community
in Ohio. So go to Chase Haileyproject dot com. Also,
Act test time is coming at us. So our friend
Laurie Bishop's son made a test prep and it's a
bit dot l y slash better test prep all lowercase
and on Instagram it's better dot test dot prep. So
check that out and get a better score on there.
The Family Skeptical is a podcast about raising your kids
without religion. You know, check that out. Download Family Skeptical
and support our listener and also me. Go to medium
dot com. If you want to read really great stories
and speaking of like creative writing, go to at unbecoming
stories on Medium and check out a front of our
show who's amazing and these her all her writing is phenomenal.
And then Kelly from Wilmanfrida. If you're in Palm Springs
or Palm Desert, go get some brunch. Yeah, get a
coffee or mimosa. By saying that you're a listener of
fc O L and if they look at you like
you're crazy, go look, I'm friends with Kelly. That's right,
don't give me a hard time. Also, if you want
to get a car, use our car broker, Adam Lerner
at Adam's got a car. He will help you get
a car and make a deal.
Speaker 1: Just talking to him out last night at dinner with
Natali and her friend. Oh their friend needs a car. Okay,
use Adam, I don't. I gave him. I gave him
his number.
Speaker 3: Oh good, okay. And then also Ferncandle, Oh no, we
already did that one before. And oh yes, our friend
Oscar has the Queer Youth Resource in Vancouver, Washington. Let
me give you the thing. Q y r C, Vancouver,
w a dot org q y R see Queer Youth
Resource Center, Vancouver, Washington. Okay, that's our that's our friend,
Laura Wingfield's friend from college. They need our help. Get
on it nice, Thanks everybody. Thanks Kaylen's prepare it now,
don't have it up. It's good. Letting go,