WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:03.680 To be single, invitation from my children, grandchildren and hopefully 2 00:00:03.720 --> 00:00:04.719 my great grandchildren. 3 00:00:04.879 --> 00:00:06.559 You say, very sweet. 4 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:10.679 Yeah, it's such an emotional you know, it's such a 5 00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:12.599 happy day in my life, you. 6 00:00:12.519 --> 00:00:18.000 Know, because it's not just two people in. 7 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:21.920 It, right, they're not in love, not yet in love. 8 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:25.519 Do they fall in love in the first place like later. 9 00:00:26.120 --> 00:00:27.920 Yes, absolutely I did. 10 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:29.839 She doesn't give a ring to him. 11 00:00:30.120 --> 00:00:32.079 No, he takes her. 12 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:33.920 It's not an equal, it's. 13 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:40.520 Not democratic. He takes her to be his wife. This 14 00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:45.240 part of the ceremony is called isison, and she circles 15 00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:50.159 the groom seven times, you know why, to make sure 16 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:55.920 he doesn't run away. And there's so much dobbning for 17 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:58.960 that day. There's so much prayers for that day, and 18 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:01.679 there's a lot of crying. They have a lot to 19 00:01:01.719 --> 00:01:04.359 ask for that their life should be happy, that their 20 00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:07.280 life should be harmonious, that they should be healthy, that 21 00:01:07.480 --> 00:01:10.200 children should be healthy, and they even pray for their 22 00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:13.599 parents to be healthy. And there's a lot of emotion 23 00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:18.120 in that day, tremendous emotion. And then comes the big moment, 24 00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:21.840 the wholesome color going to dance together in front of 25 00:01:21.879 --> 00:01:26.400 all these people, girls who've never touched the boy and 26 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:28.680 a boy dancing with a girl whom he has never 27 00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:33.359 ever touched, and they're dancing in public. You know, it's 28 00:01:33.400 --> 00:01:36.239 in a way, it's it's incredible. Do one thing? 29 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:36.840 Yeah? 30 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.280 Do you cry at weddings? Are weddings to you a 31 00:01:40.359 --> 00:01:44.120 time to cry? Hassidic Jewish weddings are a time to 32 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:47.120 cry and a time to be overjoyed. They are amazing 33 00:01:47.239 --> 00:01:51.079 display and festival of tradition and emotion. Added to all 34 00:01:51.159 --> 00:01:53.959 this intense emotion is the truth at the young couple, 35 00:01:54.200 --> 00:01:58.239 usually eighteen twenty years old, are practically strangers, as they 36 00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:01.519 have only met a few times before being asked if 37 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:04.359 they want to get engaged now on their wedding day, 38 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:07.680 it's the single most important day of their lives. The 39 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:10.439 bride is like a queen on her throne. The groom 40 00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:12.680 is like a king who takes this queen to be his. 41 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:16.479 The clothing is filled with symbolism. There are parts to 42 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:20.000 the wedding. The coupala spunum when the bride welcomes the guests, 43 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:23.319 the badekan when the groom covers the bride's face, the 44 00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:26.919 koppa when the couple is married outside under a wedding canopy, 45 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:30.120 iRED when the couple is alone together for nine minutes 46 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:33.599 with the door closed, the dancing, two hours of bringing 47 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:37.159 joy to bride and groom by dancing, and finally, late 48 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:40.479 at night, the end of night poetry and couples dance. 49 00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:43.680 Through all of this there are times of intense joy 50 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:46.960 and of crying. As a YouTuber who has documented so 51 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:49.960 much of the beautiful, hidden world of acidic judaism, I 52 00:02:50.039 --> 00:02:53.000 finally have the opportunity to share with you a perspective 53 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:55.879 on acidic weddings from the eyes of pearl who has 54 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:59.879 attended acidic wedding of herself, her children, and her grandchildren. 55 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:04.719 I absolutely love chasidashere marriage and wedding customs. 56 00:03:04.840 --> 00:03:05.879 I find you love them? 57 00:03:06.120 --> 00:03:06.360 Yeah? 58 00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:08.560 Why? And I'm gonna ask you. 59 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:14.360 So emotional, it's so beautiful. There's so many feelings packed 60 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:20.599 into the experience of marriage because it's not just two 61 00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:22.560 people in right. 62 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:28.039 Right, they're not in love, they're not yet not yet 63 00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:28.560 in love. 64 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:32.159 Do they fall in love in the first place? Like later? 65 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:34.719 Yes? Absolutely, I did. 66 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:40.080 Ah, that's cute. It's funny. 67 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:42.639 When we talked, it was like fifty six years. How 68 00:03:42.680 --> 00:03:44.319 many years have you been married? 69 00:03:44.919 --> 00:03:50.439 Fifty nine sixty? I don't even know fifty nine sixty years. 70 00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:55.039 Kind you to be kind? Here to be sentences, oh mine. 71 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:58.439 So I would love to discuss, to share with the 72 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:07.479 viewers the extremely rich traditions of Harasids, weddings and engagements. 73 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:09.120 Okay, so where do we start? 74 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:13.240 I think a week before the wedding festivities begin, or 75 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:15.520 two weeks before the wedding festivities begin. 76 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.319 No, it starts with the shabas before the wedding, because 77 00:04:18.360 --> 00:04:20.879 that's when the huston puts on his stamo for the 78 00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:22.439 first time. That's the beginning. 79 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:24.399 Can we explain. 80 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:29.240 Yes, he is obligated to be called up to the toya, 81 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:34.759 the husson, the groom, and it is customary to throw 82 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:38.680 sweet things at him. In Europe it used to be 83 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:45.040 raisins and nuts, symbolic for good luck and and you know, 84 00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:49.120 all good things. So that that that's the symbolism. And 85 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:53.920 it's usually thrown by the women. And it's a very 86 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:58.600 festive shabust, like the whole family gets together, and it 87 00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:02.199 like opens the whole. It opens. It's like the entrance 88 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:06.879 to the wedding itself, the festivities. It's called an o flei. 89 00:05:06.879 --> 00:05:08.920 If it's called the bavarfun. 90 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:10.759 And there's also a big kiddish. 91 00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:13.759 Yeah, of course, there's a very vaginish. The family sits together, 92 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:17.199 each together, you know, the family spends time together, which 93 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:21.879 is the most beautiful thing. And from then on, from 94 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:27.279 the bavarfun, the Husson cannot go alone without somebody accompanying him. 95 00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:29.800 Really much starts from the Bavaro. 96 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:35.480 Yes, why because he's now considered like a king, and 97 00:05:35.560 --> 00:05:39.480 the king doesn't go anywhere alone. He's always accompanied, and 98 00:05:40.199 --> 00:05:45.560 like the Color also doesn't usually go alone either. She 99 00:05:45.720 --> 00:05:47.920 also has to be accompanied by somebody. 100 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:50.360 How does the Color Spendavar? 101 00:05:51.079 --> 00:05:55.720 Usually she's not there. She spends either at home with 102 00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:59.240 her parents. Sometimes the parents stay home with her. Sometimes 103 00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:04.759 the parents go to the Bavaria festivity shabas, so she'll 104 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:08.240 stay home with her friends. She'll stay home sometimes with 105 00:06:08.279 --> 00:06:11.160 her mother only and the men go. You know, each 106 00:06:11.160 --> 00:06:15.240 family has a different way of doing it. But the 107 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:17.920 Color is not part of this. This has belongs belongs 108 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:21.399 to the Huson. But Color. Yeah, So her friends will 109 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:22.040 come over. 110 00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:24.759 And they'll sing songs'll cry. 111 00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:26.360 No crying on shabas. 112 00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:28.600 No never, Oh, I didn't know. 113 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:33.879 We can't cry on shabashas we get show you saida 114 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:42.160 we're happy in itself a very special day without color. No, 115 00:06:42.360 --> 00:06:46.920 they'll you know, they spend shops together, they'll sing songs 116 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:50.199 and they'll you know, just spend have a good time 117 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:51.120 together with each other. 118 00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:56.759 So anything else we should talk about. The the the 119 00:06:56.759 --> 00:07:01.800 big forehead and starts to wear. Also, the family comes 120 00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:02.639 to pick him up. 121 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:05.720 Yes, right, he's taken to shoe right, good that you 122 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:09.879 reminded me. He is taken to shool accompanied by his 123 00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:15.279 family and by the Colors family who sing along the 124 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:17.920 way to shore like you do with a king. Really 125 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:22.399 what they sing the ginum songs. You know, they accompany 126 00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:26.839 him on the street to the shoe, and he's considered, 127 00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:28.519 who's Daimela Mela? 128 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:31.279 He is like a king whose a groom is like 129 00:07:31.319 --> 00:07:31.639 a king. 130 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:33.360 It's like a king, right, and the. 131 00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:38.519 Stravel indeed looks like a crown. What happens from the 132 00:07:38.519 --> 00:07:44.720 shapers the Saturday before the wedding up until the wedding, Like, 133 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:46.879 let's say you're marrying off a child, what's on your 134 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:48.120 mind during that time? 135 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:51.680 So it depends if he's marrying a daughter or you know, 136 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:55.399 so the color has her obligation to go to the mikvah, 137 00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:59.959 the ritual bath, the ritual bath, and that time is 138 00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:03.720 spent in getting the house ready, usually. 139 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:05.920 The apartment, because the couple lives in their own separate 140 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:10.680 apartment as soon as as always. And who prepares the 141 00:08:10.720 --> 00:08:11.920 whole apartment. 142 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:17.319 It's it's usually the girl and the boy's family will 143 00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:20.519 buy some things, you know, to pretty it up. It's 144 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:24.560 it becomes like a in itself. The preparing their apartment 145 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:27.800 becomes like a big deal, you know, to make it 146 00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:31.439 beautiful and to make it to make it like, you know, 147 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:34.320 very important people are coming to live here, you know, 148 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:35.799 and to. 149 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:38.759 Make it smell like propery, like your house right now. 150 00:08:40.360 --> 00:08:44.159 Yeah, I mean, you know, to make it very enticing 151 00:08:44.279 --> 00:08:48.720 and and and inviting, you know. But it is prepared 152 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:50.960 with that in mind. Close and color are coming to 153 00:08:51.039 --> 00:08:53.720 this house. We're making it beautiful for them, you know, 154 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:58.679 We're making it a place for these important people to 155 00:08:58.799 --> 00:08:59.639 start life. 156 00:09:00.039 --> 00:09:00.360 Mm hm. 157 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.399 So that's a big deal. What else. 158 00:09:03.799 --> 00:09:05.679 The micle is a big thing if you have a daughter. 159 00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:07.399 Yeah, the mcle is a big thing if you have 160 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:10.000 a daughter. But it's done secretly. You know, the other 161 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:12.080 children in the house don't have to know about it, 162 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:17.480 and it's done very quietly and there's no popacity around it. 163 00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:19.639 It's it's it's a private thing, very private. 164 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:21.440 It's an emotional experience. 165 00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:26.679 Usually would you say, no, no, no, it's of course, 166 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:32.120 it's it's the colors introduction to what will be, you know, 167 00:09:32.759 --> 00:09:36.480 almost the rest of her life in terms of getting together. 168 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:39.519 With her husband. You know, this is always going to 169 00:09:39.559 --> 00:09:43.320 be there for them. So this is like an introduction 170 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:47.480 to a new part of her life. 171 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:48.840 Because as long as she menstraights, she's going to be 172 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:51.519 going after her period, right right. 173 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:52.759 It's interesting. 174 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:55.320 Someone just sent me an email saying, Freda, you don't 175 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:58.720 sound like you talk about the period of separation as 176 00:09:59.320 --> 00:10:00.639 a time of renewal. 177 00:10:01.799 --> 00:10:04.159 Why you mean between husband and wife. 178 00:10:04.279 --> 00:10:07.360 Yeah, when the woman has her period, and we did, 179 00:10:07.879 --> 00:10:10.240 you talked about it as kind of renewal, but I didn't. 180 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:12.000 Wow. 181 00:10:12.200 --> 00:10:15.320 So let's get into like the next stage, Yes, which 182 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:16.720 is the day of the wedding. 183 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:18.399 Yes, let's talk about the day of the wedding. 184 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:21.799 That is a very very very momentous day. It is 185 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:25.919 the day that hashem forgives the bride and the groom 186 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:29.759 all their sins. It is like you kip it, they 187 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:33.320 fast and there's so much dobvening for that day. There's 188 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:36.360 so much prayers for that day, and there's a lot 189 00:10:36.360 --> 00:10:42.200 of crying because they are preparing for a life together, 190 00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:45.480 a new life, a new starting, you know, and they 191 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.080 have a lot to ask for that their life should 192 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:51.000 be happy, that their life should be harmonious, that they 193 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:54.039 should be healthy, that children should be healthy, and they 194 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:56.399 even pray for their parents to be healthy. And there's 195 00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:01.360 a lot of emotion in that day. This emotion, it's 196 00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:06.600 very very momentous. So the groom will spend time in 197 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:10.559 the apartment, doubling in the apartment. The couple, I will 198 00:11:10.600 --> 00:11:12.799 spend her time at home and. 199 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:15.279 You know, so the apartment where the couple is going 200 00:11:15.320 --> 00:11:16.759 to live is going to be where the groom will 201 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:19.879 spend his wedding day. 202 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:25.440 Himself by himself. Yeah, praying, praying and fasting, infesting. 203 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:29.759 Is a lot of people ask me why Hasidic couples 204 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:33.279 or brides are crying, and it gives them the impression 205 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:34.240 that they're very sad. 206 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:38.879 I know. It is like Jim kipp It, you go 207 00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:41.080 to if you go to a shuliam kipper, you will 208 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:44.399 hear the enormous amount of crying that goes. We are 209 00:11:44.440 --> 00:11:49.200 begging and pleading with Hashem for something. And Hashem is 210 00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:54.360 not some kind of imaginary being to us. He's He 211 00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:59.000 is the the whole, he's the creator, He's he runs, 212 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:02.879 he makes our life. So of course you're going to 213 00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:07.120 beg and plead for good things. And it's also very 214 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:09.320 it's a very serious day. Let's put it this way. 215 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:13.360 It's not a frivolous day. It's an extremely extremely serious day, 216 00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:16.080 just like him it kip. It is a very serious day. 217 00:12:16.519 --> 00:12:19.600 And here, you know, here they're fasting and they're govening, 218 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:22.919 they're saying to Hilen, They're they're asking Hasham for the 219 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:27.399 rest of their lives together. So it's impressed upon these 220 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:30.200 young people how momentous this day is. 221 00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:32.240 Do you remember what you prayed for? 222 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:37.279 I was saying the hiln. I was saying the prayer 223 00:12:37.320 --> 00:12:39.679 that people say you am kipp it. It's a long prayer, 224 00:12:39.879 --> 00:12:45.240 shamni bugabni, you say you repent. It's it's a very 225 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:51.200 serious prayer. Sure I was. And then the parents bless 226 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:54.639 their children. I remember I told you how my father 227 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:59.279 blessed me. You want me to repeat it. He blessed 228 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:01.240 me by putting two hands on my head. 229 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:02.639 You were already dressed. 230 00:13:02.759 --> 00:13:06.399 Yeah, two hands on my head under a cur you 231 00:13:06.440 --> 00:13:10.799 know something. And he blessed me. There's a special blessing. 232 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.559 We don't make up blessing, so we don't make up prayers. 233 00:13:13.639 --> 00:13:16.279 We have them down path for us. You know, in 234 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.240 the in the city, the people think we make our 235 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:22.960 own prayers. So no, we have specific prayers for everything. 236 00:13:23.879 --> 00:13:27.600 And then I kissed his hand when we finished, and 237 00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:31.159 he tells me, you should know my husband, my father 238 00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:34.320 was a Holocaust survivor. He told me you should know 239 00:13:34.679 --> 00:13:37.919 I stayed alive because a chem wants me to have 240 00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:42.440 Yiddish and children. He wants my children to stay Yiddish. 241 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:47.600 So of course we both started crying. And then I 242 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:54.559 went to ask my mother for forgiveness. Basically, yeah, yeah, 243 00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:59.440 exactly exactly. You know that's right. And then I was 244 00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:02.480 crying on the way. Okay, we're not talking about me. 245 00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:05.960 Let's talk about what happens it. 246 00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:08.159 You know, gives me chills when I hear these stories. 247 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:11.000 I don't know if people who haven't lived these wedding 248 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:15.440 days where you're fasting, you're going through hours of praying 249 00:14:15.559 --> 00:14:19.679 if they can understand the feelings you have as a 250 00:14:19.799 --> 00:14:24.039 daughter eighteen ninety year old has this moment with her 251 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:25.080 with her parents. 252 00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:29.080 Yeah. Yeah, it's a very very serious momentum that I 253 00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:30.080 can't stress it enough. 254 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:30.480 Yeah. 255 00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:36.600 Yeah, So of course the color is sometimes still crying, 256 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:39.679 you know. But once she gets into the hall and 257 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:45.679 the makeup lady comes and you know, and she's prepared 258 00:14:45.759 --> 00:14:51.840 for the actual wedding, it's still serious until after the ripper. 259 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:55.559 The day is still very serious until after the ripper. 260 00:14:55.320 --> 00:14:59.200 Which is fairly deep into the day. I have to say, 261 00:14:59.240 --> 00:15:02.080 talking about this is bringing back the memory for me 262 00:15:02.159 --> 00:15:05.679 that when I was a bride, there was a woman 263 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:08.080 who came to help get me dressed. 264 00:15:08.519 --> 00:15:09.279 You had a dresser. 265 00:15:10.039 --> 00:15:13.799 She was a woman who had a daughter that was 266 00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:15.960 a little bit older than me that died of cancer. 267 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:18.279 Remember going to the funeral when I was maybe in 268 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:22.360 high school. Wow, and this woman, the illinishma's a memory 269 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:25.080 of her daughter who never got married, came. 270 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:27.840 Oh that's hard. It's still that hard for you. 271 00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:31.080 I don't remember it being hard for me, but thinking 272 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:34.840 about it now, I can see how painful it must 273 00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.080 have been for her since her daughter never got to 274 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:37.679 get married. 275 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:42.120 Well, she chose that as a as something you know 276 00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:45.879 that she made her feel better. Actually, yeah, I don't 277 00:15:45.879 --> 00:15:49.399 think it made her feel worse. It made her feel better. Okay, 278 00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:51.000 so we are we up to now? In the. 279 00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:55.200 You want to talk about what the bride would dress 280 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:57.399 in anything special, she would wear. 281 00:15:57.639 --> 00:16:04.320 Regular wedding dress, white wedding dress, regular crown, Tiara Veil, 282 00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:10.799 I'm not talking about the the I'm talking about a tool. Right, 283 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:14.080 all different kinds of stars today, at once upon a 284 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:16.120 time was a crown. Today they were in the back 285 00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:18.320 of their head. Once they were on the side of 286 00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:21.000 the head. It doesn't matter. That's nothing religious about that. 287 00:16:21.559 --> 00:16:25.200 It depends on styles, you know. No, she's wearing her 288 00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:29.159 own hair right, her own hair. And so let's let's 289 00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:34.080 go to where she walks into the hall. So she 290 00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:38.879 has her mother and her mother in law escorting her 291 00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:42.799 into the hall to sit at the to sit on 292 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:51.360 this beautiful decorated chair. Now, many of our customs at 293 00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:55.440 weddings comes from Mottin Toyta. Really, yes, that's why we 294 00:16:55.480 --> 00:17:00.759 have flowers around the color. That's why there are two buggers, 295 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:06.680 why by Martin Toya. There was also I forgot al 296 00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:10.200 ready at which point, or also because she's now a 297 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:16.359 queen and she has you know, escorts, Yeah, escorts, escorts 298 00:17:16.440 --> 00:17:19.400 like a queen. You know, a queen doesn't today, okay, 299 00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:23.720 But once upon a time, once upon a time, there 300 00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:28.079 would be a lot of honor given to a queen 301 00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:31.599 that she would not ever go like places a lot 302 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:35.839 I me yesterday, they whatever. In those days, the queen 303 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:42.359 always had escorts. And there's always the same tune played 304 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:45.319 when the color comes in to sit down at her 305 00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:46.160 special place. 306 00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:49.680 So is she arriving now to the wedding. 307 00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:53.119 Not to the wedding. She's arriving to her place during 308 00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:56.359 the wedding. So you know, we have men and women separate. 309 00:17:56.359 --> 00:17:59.920 The host is sitting in his room, the colors sitting 310 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:03.039 in her room where the guests are going to come 311 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:04.960 and tell her Mazletov, and the men are going to 312 00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:09.160 tell the wholesome Mazeletov. So she sits down always with 313 00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:12.559 the same tune. The musicians will always seen the same tune, 314 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:16.799 and her mother and her mother in law stand beside her. 315 00:18:17.799 --> 00:18:21.519 Sometimes the grandmothers are also there standing beside her. And 316 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:25.240 also when she comes in as the two mothers are 317 00:18:25.319 --> 00:18:29.160 escorting her. The grandmothers or other people are also following. 318 00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:33.240 It's like a procession, a procession to the place where 319 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:35.880 the color sits. This is to give honor to the 320 00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:41.599 special person. Also, today people don't know the mothers have 321 00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.359 a habit of mingling with the crowd. This is a 322 00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:50.559 new thing. They don't understand their job and their purpose 323 00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:52.880 and their honor to stand next to the bride. So 324 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:55.799 this is really an honor for the two mothers to 325 00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:59.480 stand next to them and to stay standing there as 326 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:05.200 like an her guard. So people decide it's too old fashioned. 327 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:07.359 They're gonna go mingle in the crowd and leave the 328 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:10.880 Color sitting there alone. Sometimes I feel like screaming when 329 00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:16.920 I say but anyways, And then the guests arrive, and 330 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.839 everybody goes over to the Color and gives their hand. 331 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:23.720 Giving somebody your hand means you connecting to that somebody. 332 00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:26.640 It's not just enough to say, muzzletom. You have to 333 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:28.640 give your hand to the Color and shake her hand 334 00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:31.680 and wish her all the good things in her new life. 335 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:35.440 And you kiss her, yes. 336 00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:39.599 Yes, you kiss her yes. And she sits there like 337 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:46.279 on a throne, like a queen who has everybody coming 338 00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:50.920 up to her, and you know she's the focus of 339 00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.440 extreme focus of attention and she You don't just come 340 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:57.359 into a wedding and mingle. You have to go over 341 00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.440 to the color. The whole purpose of you coming to 342 00:19:59.480 --> 00:20:04.119 the wedding is the mitsa of being miss Maya Hulsenva color. 343 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:07.480 It's a mitzvah in the toyota to make the bride 344 00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:09.920 in the groom happy. And part of this is to 345 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:12.359 go over to the color and shake her hand and 346 00:20:12.440 --> 00:20:15.720 like you say, kiss hers, but that's not it's not 347 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:18.839 a must kiss, but this handshaking is. 348 00:20:20.519 --> 00:20:21.720 And she sits on the stage. 349 00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:24.160 She sits on the stage, and she sits on a 350 00:20:24.279 --> 00:20:27.599 throne like chair decorated with beautiful flowers. 351 00:20:27.799 --> 00:20:33.279 That's part of the wedding. The wedding has parts. And 352 00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:35.240 sometimes people will come to a wedding. 353 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.839 Just for k yeah, yeah, who usually comes to whoever 354 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:41.920 feels like it. The weather doesn't feel close enough to 355 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:45.960 stay for the whole wedding, which is mostly for close family. 356 00:20:47.359 --> 00:20:49.799 You know, but our weddings are so big because their 357 00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:52.000 families can I know how it's so big. But the 358 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:56.160 kabula spoona means yes, you're coming to be Macabo, she 359 00:20:56.319 --> 00:20:58.440 is maka her guests. 360 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:01.039 How many people would you say come to a wedding 361 00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:02.799 on average each a wedding? 362 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:06.039 I don't know. I don't know the number. I really 363 00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:06.319 don't know. 364 00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:08.160 How many couples do you pay for? 365 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:10.559 Two hundred and fifty couples? 366 00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:15.480 Two fifty couples Smith's five hundred portions of food? 367 00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:20.920 Yeah, that's a small wedding. Sort of, that's a medium 368 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:23.200 sized wedding. Let's say it's a media I really don't 369 00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:25.160 have the numbers in my head. 370 00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:27.000 By the way, why do you pay the matchmaker? 371 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:31.240 Which point right after the shio? Immediately after that, immediately 372 00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:35.000 after the sho oh? Yeah, your first chance? 373 00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:38.920 Do you gotta be fund if God forbid god, it 374 00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:39.640 doesn't work out? 375 00:21:39.799 --> 00:21:40.079 Never? 376 00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:42.759 Never have you done any matches? 377 00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:45.759 By the way, you know my matches? What nobody gets 378 00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:46.880 married with my matches? 379 00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:50.680 I'm standing in line, I'm waiting. 380 00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:54.759 I am trying. I always try, all of us try. 381 00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:58.640 Everybody's to try. We try, and we try and to try. 382 00:21:58.799 --> 00:22:02.160 Some people have muzzle and they do. Some people like me. 383 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:06.000 Sometimes people want me to be a matchmaker for somebody. 384 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:08.160 I said, not me, because it ain't gonna happen. 385 00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:13.480 Let's talk about what happens during the kaboospohon. I'm at 386 00:22:13.480 --> 00:22:14.400 the men's side. 387 00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:18.799 So the husson. Now what used to happen by the 388 00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:22.039 women's side, which doesn't happen anymore. This was in Europe. 389 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:26.039 There used to be a woman to bring the color 390 00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:28.920 to tears, to make her feel like it's really if 391 00:22:29.319 --> 00:22:32.599 you keep her for her, So the colors used to 392 00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:34.480 sit and cry. But this doesn't happen. 393 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:35.720 She would be singing. 394 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:39.960 Yeah, she would be singing in rhyme, but she would 395 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.279 be evoking emotions that would make her want to cry 396 00:22:44.839 --> 00:22:49.039 by saying what I wasn't there. I have no idea. 397 00:22:49.240 --> 00:22:55.000 I'm after the Holocaust. I just heard this. I just 398 00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:58.119 heard this. Now by the Houston, this does happen. The 399 00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:02.359 Houston sits at the table with his two fathers by him, 400 00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:07.440 and the kisiba. The marriage contract is being filled out. 401 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:10.200