Speaker 1: W MNH will rip the novels. Welcome back everybody. We
have entered our number three New Marrow trace of Matt
Connorton unleashed and we are live from the studios of
w m n H ninety five point three FM in
Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire. Today is Saturday, September twenty eight,
twenty twenty four. Jenny is here, of course at the
news table, president and account of four and joining us
in the studio this morning. We have making her third appearance,
as we figured out on the on the program, Doctor
Bethany billideohs here, Welcome.
Speaker 2: Back, Thanks so much. I'm so happy to be here.
I'm shooting for the five.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you get to that five dimmers club. You
get What do we what do we give guests who
uh we can't afford to give them clap a jacket?
Speaker 3: We'll give a hand fanning ovation. I think our undying gratitude.
Speaker 1: I think we should do five hand claps when that happens,
you're pushing it. Well, I just think that, you know,
come on, that's five she get five hand clap?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 5: I kind of see a point there that doesn't make.
Speaker 1: Sense and they should be enthusiastic to.
Speaker 5: Give them an extra one for good luck, no.
Speaker 1: Work, there are rules.
Speaker 5: I don't like rules.
Speaker 1: Somebody an extra handclap, that's absurd, breaking.
Speaker 4: The law, breaking the law. Figure it out, Kenny, you
can figure where around.
Speaker 5: That's right, tell me no, sneak.
Speaker 1: One in, boy, I'll tell you. Uh doctor b you congratulations.
First of all, you just won yet another award.
Speaker 4: They did. I didn't know we were nominated for it, but.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the best. That often to Jenny and I
once remember when we got in a certificated.
Speaker 2: That is awesome when it happens, because it's like surprise,
you got this and you didn't even exist.
Speaker 4: On the back. Yeah, yeah, I got mine on the wall.
Speaker 1: Jenny and I got. Jenny and I got an award
once emailed to us from somebody like a great Broadcaster award.
Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, I got one the wall like that.
Speaker 1: Did you frame yours?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 1: Yes, Mine's in my email still this kind of random thing.
Speaker 4: She use them as wallpaper.
Speaker 1: She does. She has many awards. She has many awards,
But you have many awards. How many awards have you
wont now?
Speaker 4: I honestly don't know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a good problem to have no clue.
Speaker 2: Most of the awards are like, yay, nice job, doctor b.
You came in first for the best costume on Halloween
at that elementary school that you worked at that day,
or you ran the fastest to get in front of
that kid or something like that. Right, those kind of
awards and awards an award, You're right, I like those
awards the best, though, to be honest.
Speaker 1: We'll tell us about this newest one. And you said
you didn't know you were even nominated.
Speaker 4: I didn't know. It's on social equity, this one.
Speaker 2: So it's for a leader in the field that has
really promoted social equity for both their customers as well
as their employees and has improved quality of life and
those sorts of things.
Speaker 4: Okay, so it'll be great.
Speaker 2: We have a we're going to the awards ceremony in
a couple of weeks and a lot of our employees
are attending it with us, and which will be really awesome.
Speaker 4: We're looking forward to that. It'll be a neat experience
for us all.
Speaker 1: Now, So who awarded you the award?
Speaker 4: It's Business New Hampshire, I believe.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, nice, So talk to us about social equity,
So what does this mean and why are they giving
you this award?
Speaker 2: So a big part of it is really about like we,
as you know, we work with at risk youth and
for the listeners that are on that don't know that,
we work with youth that are really marginalized, and we
tend to run large alternative education programs within school districts,
or we come into school districts and we train them
on how to work with particular students that may be struggling.
And because of that, our goal is always to increase
their social value. So we spend a lot of time
helping to facilitate peer relationships, helping to establish healthier relationships
between them and the adults that they're working with within
their schools and within their communities, and really improve their
social value over time. So that that's very relevant. And
oftentimes these kids are reintegrated most of the time, more
than eighty five percent of the time, these students are
reintegrated back into their general education setting and into their communities.
And oftentimes these are students that haven't had that luxury
of participating in a general education setting in years by
the time they get to us. So it's really about
getting them back to where they can be and have connections,
because that's such a huge factor in quality of life, right.
Speaker 1: Right absolutely, By the way, Sarah Patna is in the
chat room and says, let's go for ten. We'll get there,
We'll get there.
Speaker 4: Take a little time, Sarah, you're always back pushing us off.
Speaker 1: And then and then you'll get ten. Collaps It'll be great.
Speaker 5: Eleven for good luck.
Speaker 1: You don't do that.
Speaker 5: What Tinji tell us.
Speaker 1: I know you don't want to brag, but you should
tell us about the other awards that you've won.
Speaker 2: So we won just recently, about five or six months ago,
we also won an award and Education so for people
who have made significant contributions and changes in the world
of education. And that's again, you know, due to our
work with at risk youth and reintegrating students into the
general education setting. And our goal is always to get
into a school, give them the skills, teach them what
they need to know, and then get out. And we
spend a lot of time coaching families to a significant
amount of time actually coaching families, okay, and that makes
a huge difference. Like it's just such a great thing
when you have a parents say we'll teach us something,
will we want to and oftentimes they do. They've tried everything,
they know. It's just a matter of youth are different today.
We're different today. There's so many changes that have happened
in the past five to ten years, and the strategies
that we used ten twenty years ago don't necessarily work.
So it's a matter of just having better strategies that
address the actual issues that are going on right And
most of the time it really stems down to safety.
Feeling safe, feeling regulated. If you don't feel safe, you're
not going to take a risk, and so many things
in life involve us taking a risk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious. I don't know if we talked about
this much before. Something specific. You mentioned about strategies that
worked ten or twenty years ago that don't necessarily work now.
Can you give us some examples of what used to
work that doesn't work now and maybe why.
Speaker 2: Yeah those times, so compliance, that's a big one that
doesn't work nowadays. Like that, you know back twenty years ago,
you could say, well, if you don't do this, you're
going to get in trouble. We're going to either call
the police or get the principle in here, or tell
your parents or something like that, and there's no fear
of that nowadays, isn't And in the fear is really
I have to live my life. I've got to be
able to post something on social media that one of
my other peers is going to think is cool. Otherwise
I have no social value. It's gonna reduce me. You know,
those are really the concerns that youth are having today,
much more so than you know, an authority figure coming
in and providing something, because there's know that there's no
real power behind that. Oh that's interesting, So there that
is not a concern. Like you know, I'll always tell schools.
They'll be like, oh, we're.
Speaker 4: Gonna this is happening.
Speaker 2: We're gonna call the police, and I'll be like, just
give me a few minutes and let me see if
I can, you know, get this situation turned around before
we go down that road. Because once you call the
police once or twice, that's it. Right the next time
they come in and they're gonna be hey, what's up,
you know, right right to the officers. So you know,
don't use that as a threat because it's it's really
not a threat at this point.
Speaker 1: But why did that used to work?
Speaker 2: I think because we did have that concern and that fear.
The way we were rares created that. I think kids
are much more knowledgeable about those things nowadays. They're much
more desensitized to it because they're so overexposed to so
many things, and they also know what the results of
it are. They know if a police officer comes in,
what they can do, what they can't do, And they
didn't have that awareness.
Speaker 4: Yeah, ten or twenty years ago.
Speaker 2: They're very over stimulated, oversaturated to things that are going
on in their world, and that's made a huge difference
in how they interact.
Speaker 4: They feel on.
Speaker 2: Edge, a little fearful all the time, but most people do.
I will say that that's true of most individuals, not
just youth, and so feeling safe enough to be able
to do something that's a little different or out of
their comfort zone, it takes a big step. So you've
got to get them to feel safe first and then
give them some strategies to help them regulate and that
sort of thing. So many of us are like, you know,
we're constantly looking for something else to do or something
to get upset over because we're so used to feeling
that way, been conditioned to feel that way so much
of the time that sometimes when we don't feel that way,
it feels almost boring. It's not raging enough for the brains. So,
you know, teaching yourself that there's good things in the calmness,
that your body has time to heal, you have time
to you know, get yourself into a better state of
mind and everything else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Elizabeth England in the Facebook live chat uh
says in social media wasn't so important. Yeah, I mean, well,
twenty years ago, we didn't even have well, I don't know,
I guess we I guess we did twenty years ago, right,
we had, we did, we had my stay. I don't
know about it.
Speaker 2: Many people were really on social media though, are paying
as close attention to it now as they did it,
you know back in you know, twenty years ago versus now.
Speaker 4: I mean now, it's a huge thing.
Speaker 2: Especially I'm with kids they have you know, in schools,
they are a little bit more careful about the phones,
but if I'm in their homes, they have no qualms
in the middle of talking with me, taking it out
and checking something on their phone or texting someone or
doing you know, doing a snapchat real quick or something
like that. It's just commonplace. Yeah, and it's it is
how they interact with each other nowadays. If you look
at teens, they are all sitting together, but they're not
really talking to each other, and they're all got their
phones out and they're you know, communicating through that and
they're reading each other's snapchat. They're like the snapchat, the
pictures coming up and they're looking at it and it's
their friend that's sitting two seats down.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 1: Our friend Ricky Mapleton, who's very funny. He does he's
a musician, but he does these comedy songs and he
has one we played it on the show. It's got
a long title, something like shoot me an email while
I'm standing right in front of you, and it's about
that kind of thing. Yeah, yes, what do you do?
So how do you And this might be useful for
parents or anyone who's dealing with with kids, Well hopefully
this entire conversation is, but something specific I'm wondering about.
So what do you do? How do you address that
when that exact scenario, you know, you're you're talking to
a kid, and right in the middle of the conversation
they just switch to me seems I mean, how rude, right,
But to them it's like I guess some some of
them they just don't even.
Speaker 2: It's part of the social norm or it is part
of the social norm of what's going on today. So
for me personally, I just try to be way more
engaging than what's going on on their device. So that
oftentimes means that I'm either acting things out, or I'm
using silly voices, or I'm doing whatever, or I'm saying
something shocking or whatever it is. But my role is
really to engage. So because if I can't engage, I
can't change behavior. So I spend a lot of time
trying to do something that is a little bit out
of the ordinary to get their attention. And oftentimes I'm
so focused on them in giving them so much feedback
that they're almost uncomfortable taking it out at times.
Speaker 1: Oh really, they'll.
Speaker 2: Take it out, but they'll be like, well, I'm just
doing this, and I'll be like, oh, show me I
want to see. I don't know anything about social media,
show me how to do that. And then I'll be like, Okay,
this is now a lesson for you, you know, and
I try to engage them with the item if I
can't engage them in another way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I also recommend to parents a lot, like have your
kids take social media breaks and do the same. You know,
if you guys are going away for a day or
you know, a weekend or something, take a break, you know,
to leave your phones at home or use it only
at specific times. You know, do things like that because
that will really help all of you interact on a
much larger level and have some conversations that are more
in depth and fun conversations about things you want. Like
with my daughters, I'll be like a perfect Saturday. Tell
me what a perfect Saturday would be. You know.
Speaker 4: My eleven year old would say, you take me shopping
and then for ice cream and we do all these
fabulous things.
Speaker 2: But you know, so just doing things like that where
you're getting to know them a little bit better, yeah,
makes a huge difference. But I used to My boys
are adults now, but I used to ask my boys
to take social media vacations and stuff like that, and
I would they would actually take the social media platforms
off their phones, like they would delete that. Oh wow,
for periods of time, oh and everything. Usually it was
a result of doing something on social media that wasn't fabulous, right,
but that would be but we would get to know
each other so much better during that time period when
they didn't have it on their phones because they didn't
really have the desire to text and do that sort
of thing. That's not how youth communicate now. It's usually
through snapchatter, Instagram or something. They would, you know, so
they would have conversations and behold.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, how big of a problem is this in schools?
Because something something that I wonder about is how do
schools Even I guess every school system must have their own.
Speaker 4: It is all a little different on how they deal
with it. Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I've heard of schools where they have the like
where the students walk in and they actually take their
phones their band they put them in some sort of
lock box until the end of the day or something.
Speaker 2: There are some schools that have done that too, And
there's a lot of schools have that have worked really
hard to get responsibly use and if that's violated, then
there's consequences for the violations and so on and so forth.
The problem with the phones, is that it really on
a brain level. When you're looking at the brain, it
wears out the dopamine receptors, So then you're checking it
more often, you're doing it, you know, and then you're like,
I can't get that feedback from it, So then they're
looking up more and more shocking things. Over time, it's
just pushing them to have more and more of that
intense feedback, which isn't real life a lot of the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, if you are just joining us, we're talking
with doctor Bethany Bilido, doctor b as she is like
to she likes to be called from, of course, out
of the behavior boot Camp. And we're just gonna take
a very quick break. I'm actually gonna have I'm gonna
play a little something and we're gonna have you switch
to a different microphone because that that microphone isn't sounding
quite right and I want to make sure everyone can
hear you. So it's not.
Speaker 4: It's probably user error, he was technology.
Speaker 2: It's guarantee, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not you, I promise, Uh, but uh, we'll be
right back. We're gonna play a little jam tomorrow and
we'll be right back with doctor b all right, that's
a little bit of jam Tomorrow falling into place. Such
a great song. We'll play the whole thing at the
end of the show, I promise. I love that song
so much. But we just wanted to switch our guests
to a different microphone. So if you are just joining
us here on Matt Connorton Unleashed this morning, we have
a doctor Bethany billideo with us live and studio, and
let's bring that mic up and let's see how we do.
Speaker 4: Hello, doctor b Hey, how are you?
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds better already. I just got to boost
the volume a little bit.
Speaker 2: So Matt said that this microphone never goes down. And
you know, those of you that know me and have
been at trainings of men, you know that that that's
the technology curse with me? Right?
Speaker 1: Really, have you have you had a technical glitches over there?
Speaker 2: Everywhere I go, I will say shout out to Bo
School District. Whenever I train in Bo School District, all
the technology.
Speaker 4: Always works perfectly.
Speaker 2: Really, any other district I train in pretty much there's
usually some glitch.
Speaker 1: We shout out to both school district. Then that's excellent.
That's excellent. So if you could talk a little bit
about the Behavior boot Camp. Obviously, you know, as we said,
this is your third time on the show, but for
listeners who are just getting to know you for the
first time, what is this?
Speaker 2: So the Behavior boot Camp is really our online platform.
We have a course, an online course that's also live.
We hold weekly sessions as well through the course, but
it's it's a training program that teaches people how to
understand and how to teach, and how to recognize when
safety is a concern, how regulation is a concern, and
those strategies, and then a lot of higher skills like
you can't get to the therapeutic parts, you can't get
to the the mindfulness, you can't get to the meditation,
you can't get to the all of those social emotional learning,
all those other pieces until you can address safety and
regulation first. So that course teaches it, and it's really
simple things like how you're standing, the way you tilt
your head, how you're moving into the space with another
person so that they feel safe, and how to do
those things. And whenever I walk into a school and
they'll say, oh, you know, there's a meltdown going on,
they'll say, doctor B you know, can you handle that? Absolutely?
And I go outside and within two seconds the kids
coming in that was taking off into the woods or whatever.
Speaker 4: They're like, why do you do that so fast?
Speaker 2: It's not rocket science, it's simple techniques that can be taught.
And we really developed this online course because we had
a lot of places outside of New England contacting us
for support that we really couldn't address the need. And
we couldn't address the need of as many school districts
that were asking for the support in these alternative ED
programs in their schools because of the number of staff
that we have YEA and so many parents that we're
calling and I'm trying to talk them through on the
phone how to do a technique that I was like,
we need something that where people can see it. So oftentimes,
if we're working with families, we're you know, giving them
a membership to the course and that sort of thing
so they can learn the skills, so they can see
all these techniques and everything else. And we operate on
that through social media too. We put out little clips
every few days on social media that show different techniques
and all of that, because we really feel like we're
doing something that's very unique. I've only met a couple
of other professionals in the nation that do similar work
and their solo shows. So we really feel obligated to
give these strategies and techniques to the community at large
because a lot of people don't know them and they
are very different from traditional, you know, techniques that we're used,
and traditional techniques can still work, but they only work
with about thirty percent of the population at this point.
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's nobody else really doing this on this level.
Speaker 2: No. I know an occupational therapist that does similar somewhat
similar work with her students in Massachusetts, and then there's
a woman over in California that actually two women who
do similar work, but again it's a one on one situation,
and one of them's a therapist and the other one
is a behaviorist, but she only teaches it through yoga techniques,
and that's not what we do. Ours encompasses so much
more than just physical maneuvers with the body and everything else.
We do a lot that deals with the mind and
brain health and mental health and everything else. So our
strategies are really proprietary to what we do and how
we work with students, but it's how we get results
so fast.
Speaker 1: We do have a question in the chat room, Angela Carter.
Angela Griffiths Carter says, how are the book is the
Pain in the Classroom and the Behavior boot Camp related?
Speaker 2: Well, the book actually I wrote the book which is
coming out in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 4: Oh, congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 2: So that book will be released in twenty twenty five.
And I wrote that book as a supplement to the
course itself because there's a lot of educators that say,
you know, I don't have time to go through the
videos on the course. I don't have time to attend
the classes, the live classes that you guys hold, So
what are my other options? So we certainly don't have
as much content in the book as we have in
the online course. But the book itself is about sixty
thousand words.
Speaker 4: Which is it's dense.
Speaker 2: So that is really just a it's an educator's tool
to use in the classroom on new strategies on how
to use classroom management. So the book is actually eased
The Pain a guide to safety and regulation in the
classroom so educators can teach.
Speaker 5: Are you self publishing or going through a publisher?
Speaker 4: We have a few options.
Speaker 2: We do have a publisher, but we may end up
going the self publishing route because there's a few things
that I want to be able to do with the
book that we may not be able to do with
a publisher. So we're going to make that decision at
the end of November. We'll make that decision.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So the developing that course must have, that must
have been quite the undertaking.
Speaker 4: It was fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I love to write curriculum, and I
write a lot of curriculum. I've written a lot of
curriculum for years and years for different organizations and for
you know, for different things that I train on and everything.
Speaker 4: So I love to write curriculum.
Speaker 2: So I basically just sat down and wrote it in
modules of everything people need to know for, you know,
to address safety issues. You know, if your kids having
a tantrum, what do you do. Well, here's how you
determine why they're having the tantrum. And they may not
right off the bat, right they're having the tantrum because
I didn't give them a candymarter and you know, or
whatever it may be. But it talks about how to
get them to a point of safety. And then it
has all the components on regulation and in the online course,
I mean We have tons of information on nutrition and
on different things that you can do as far as
supplementation brain issues. A lot of people don't realize how
many things impact the brain and what's going on with
those components. You know, I'll meet a youth that's like
really irritable and they'll be like, no, you know, I
don't like this certain kid. And I'll say, oh, yeah, why, well,
you know, two years ago on the bus he tripped
me and so on and so forth, and I'm like, oh, yeah,
you're operating in the Limbic party.
Speaker 4: You're a brain kiddo. Okay, So here's what we need
to do.
Speaker 2: You need more high intensity movement, you need to you know,
we need to really look at having more of a
higher protein diet, lower carbs, so we're gonna encourage you
to eat that when you're at school and.
Speaker 4: Those sorts of things.
Speaker 2: But there's some very specific things you can do to
support the Olympic part of the brain. And really what
that means is the Olympic's getting all the blood flow.
Nothing else is getting the blood flow. So if you're
asking a kid to learn, or even an adult, if
they want to learn something new in the Olympics getting
all the blood flow. You don't have anything in your
prefrontal cortex. You can't learn, you can't learn new content.
So you've got to be able to get brain, you know,
blood flow to that front part of the brain. And
there's some really simple, simple strategies to do that. And
one is you know, high intensity movement and it can
be for just a couple seconds, you know, having them
pick something up and putting it down a few times
before they you know, go into the activity or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you talking about that last time. And
you know how you know sometimes that physical activity, a
little bit of exercise can really help the brain. It's yeah,
as you know, as we talked about on your podcast.
I'm a hypnotherapist and something that I really tell all
my clients is, you know, if you because very often
someone might come to me because they want to stop smoking,
or they can't sleep at night or whatever it is,
and we always end up talking about their exercise regimen
and whether or not they have one, because the reality
it is, if you're exercising, everything else will be better.
Oh yeah, everything else will be better. It's not just
about how you feel physically, it's how you feel emotionally
and mentally, your your clarity and everything it all relates.
And just that you know, even if it's just walking
a little bit each day, that will make there's no
way it makes anything worse. It'll make everything better.
Speaker 4: It's a huge that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 2: You push those large amino acids into the muscles and
you get that blood flow of the front of the brain.
It makes a huge difference. My husband will be the
first person to say that if I don't exercise at
during the day, I am not fit for human consumption
is a mean.
Speaker 4: So you know, you make it part of the lifestyle.
Speaker 2: But nowadays, because of the structure of households and stuff,
a lot of kids don't get a lot of physical
movement during the course of the day. So and they're
getting pee maybe once a week. I mean, there's some
school districts that have it more often, which is great,
But even at recess, kids aren't moving all that much there.
You know, they may go up and down the slide
a couple of times, but they're not breaking a sweat
always right right, So and it's not consistent.
Speaker 4: So yeah, any more of it.
Speaker 1: And you did talk to you spoke about nutrition and
how important that is for the branch. When you're in
these school systems, do you see and this this isn't
something you probably address with the school system necessarily, I
wouldn't think, but do you see issues with what they're
serving for lunches in public schools as not being optimum?
Speaker 4: For for sure? I mean, the school districts are doing
the best they can.
Speaker 2: It's a program, so they're given the items that they're
given and they you know, and they have to serve
those specific items. It's it's very regimented, but it is
not a diet that is conducive to good brain health unfortunately.
And there is a common factor that all of my
students pretty much I would say ninety nine percent of
my student's experience, and it is that they eat a
processed Western diet. And when we have the opportunity, we've
had the opportunity to change some of our students' diets,
and amazing things happen their verbal abilities and improve their
behavioral issues, tend to really tend to decrease significant.
Speaker 4: Changes in mental health.
Speaker 2: I mean, we see huge changes when we can modify
and work with their diets.
Speaker 4: But that's not enough.
Speaker 2: I mean you've got a diet is just one piece
of the puzzle and everything, and it's hard. I mean, like,
I'll be the first one to say that, you know,
love I love having ice cream on Friday. I was
at a meeting yesterday and I had one of the
administrators in the school bought me a donut and I
was like, oh my god, this is the best donut
I've ever had. Shout out to Brothers Donuts in Franklin,
New Hampshire. I was like, this donut is amazing and
I love sugar, but you know, I don't have it
on a daily basis, And it's you know, I mean,
and it's tough because there's so many of those things
that help us hit those dopamine receptors, but they don't
help us long term. Like they might help us in
the short term for a couple of minutes, but they're
not going to help us long term, especially not over
the long haul.
Speaker 1: Right Right, People always talk too about and we hear
this a lot on the show whenever we discuss social media.
I mean, is it is it true that do you
find that people's attention spans just generally are much shorter
than they used to be?
Speaker 2: Yes, for sure, And I mean you can see that
with social media and stuff too. I mean, you know,
not that we've been doing social media stuff for very long.
I mean it's been pretty it's pretty short time span.
But even since we started stuff a couple of years ago,
we've head to shorten the length of time because we
don't get engagement if things are as long as they
were when we released them two three years ago, no kidding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even you can see even over the past couple
of years, you can see that difference.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: That's amazing and disheartening.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You think about it back when, like podcasts could be
an hour and people would listen to them, right, and
certain people will I'll listen to a podcast for an.
Speaker 1: Hour, sure, yeah, me too, me too.
Speaker 2: But younger people oftentimes won't.
Speaker 4: Twenty minutes is the max.
Speaker 2: I mean right now, we're doing a video podcast series
all on our book, and it's twenty minutes max.
Speaker 4: Like they cut me at twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh no kidding, Yeah yeah, yep, Oh yeah, that's too bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I had another good one, get but
I'll just have.
Speaker 4: To I'll just have to ask you off off of.
Speaker 1: Right, right, Yeah, if you are just joining us. Doctor
Bethany Bilideo is here from the Behavior boot Camp, and
somebody had a question. Oh, somebody in the chat room
made a comment about drinking water. That's probably another thing too.
I guess you could kind of sort of file that
under nutrition rot.
Speaker 2: No, it is, yeah, And I mean I've looked up
a lot of the stats on it. I've read a
lot a lot of journal articles on water, and it's
it's something like more than eighty five percent of the
kids that are diagnosed with ADHD are actually severely dehydrated
and real times interesting. Yeah, and sometimes if you can
increase their ability to consume water, you see that their
symptoms decrease significantly.
Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting. Angela said in the
chat room, a lot of my students bring sugary snacks
to school as they're only nutrition.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some school districts that have great programs as
far as providing fruits and vegetables and things like that additionally,
so kids can have those at snacks and those sorts
of times when when we work with those particular districts,
we're really pushing those pieces of it, you know, and saying,
oh yeah, save that for later, save that for after school,
and that sort of thing, because you see it too.
I mean, if you have something super sugary and then
they're going into a class, they're not going to be
able to be appropriately or even optimally to learn.
Speaker 1: Right right. I feel like we have a much much
broader problem in our culture too, with just I don't
understand why. You know, It's like you come into the
world and it seems like, right out of the gate,
everybody around you, like all these people who love you,
your family and everyone you know, they can't wait to
just fill you up with sugar and things that cause
diabetes and junk food. It's strange, you know. It's like,
you know, you have your first birthday and here here's cake. Yeah,
you know, it's it's it's bizarre if you really think
about it logically, like why do we do that?
Speaker 4: Yeah? A lot of our celebrations revolve around food. Yeah,
stuff like that.
Speaker 1: We're all taught. We're taught from a very young age
that all these things that are so terrible for you
eat this.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, you think back to antiquity, I mean when people
were starving and in a state of starvation and going
days and days on time not able to find food.
Speaker 4: The quickest energy source was sugar. Yep, So anything with sugar.
Speaker 2: Sugar has become this you know, celebratory item because of that.
I think, you know, over time and and we still
view it that way.
Speaker 4: I mean, you have sugar.
Speaker 1: I like, right, yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's frustrating. What
what's the single biggest issue you see in schools? I
know it's kind of a broad question, but I mean,
is there is there something that really stands out that
that you that you see consistently in every school system
you go into.
Speaker 2: So for me, because I'm called in because a student
is probably physically aggressive, so that's what I see. Yeah,
but that's the reason I'm being asked to come in.
So I do a lot of Tier one, Tier two trainings,
and those are kids that are not aggressive but might
be refusing. I think the refusals are huge, refusing to participate,
so they're walking out.
Speaker 1: So kids, so kids who aren't violent, they're just they're
just saying I'm just not gonna Yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm doing that for professional development wise.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm training on most of the time because
usually if they have a kid who's physically aggressive, they're
referring them to an organization such as mine that specializes
in working with kids like that. And I'm not necessarily
training the school staff to deal with that. Sometimes i
am because there aren't agencies available to deal with those
sorts of challenges. But it's probably the refusal and the
avoidance is the big one that is getting reported, and
those are simple things to address. I mean typically right now,
you think about from a learning perspective, how do people
learn nowadays? Well, we can learn through repetition. Most individuals
hate that.
Speaker 4: It sucks.
Speaker 2: We can learn through things that are super super engaging,
or we can learn through things that are new novel.
Speaker 4: So the easiest way to.
Speaker 2: Engage, you know, students at this point is really to
either make it new, present the materials so it's new,
or make it super engaging. Those two things. Because most
kids won't do repetition. You do still have some students
that will engage in repetition, but that's you think back
to your own school experiences, it's probably a lot through repetition.
I know mine was a lot through repetition, right you know,
And I'd be writing it and be like a squirrel
do do you know?
Speaker 4: Sort of things.
Speaker 2: So I had some great teachers, but I was not
a great student so at all. And I think I'm
in this field because I feel for kids. I know
it's tough. I you know, I knew every hiding place
in my elementary school. They'd say, you know, Bethany, you
need to go up to the library, the creepy library
and work up there. It was like one of those
weird like the ceilings were only like seven feet tall.
Oh really, and so it was really it was a
strange space. So they'd be like, go upstairs and work,
and I would just hide under one of the water
fountains or in one of the cabinets going up there
or something. And then eventually I'd go back to class
and they'd be like, did you work up the Oh yeah,
I worked.
Speaker 4: Up the right right.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's funny. How many uh, I know, we
talked about this before and I was surprised at how
long charge to the number ones? But how many school
districts are you working with it at any given time?
Speaker 2: So we tend to focus on twelve in a year primarily,
but I personally work with about twenty to twenty five
during a school year. So my reach is a little
bit different because I do so much professional development and
I do I train about I do about one hundred
trainings a year. So I'm in a lot more schools
than my staff are in because they're they're in the
same schools every day, Whereas I'm going in and either
doing professional development or I'm writing an assessment on a
student that's struggling or something like that, and then or
I'm doing a parent training and then I'm out and
I'm onto a different in a different school and that
sort of thing. So my time is very short. Okay, schools,
so and we rotate, We don't stay in the same
schools every year. Like we really look at it as
we need an exit plan. Once all of your tier
three students are at tier two, tier one, I mean,
our goal is obviously to get them to tier one.
Speaker 4: Then we're out. You know, we look at other you know,
we have a wait.
Speaker 2: List and we move on to the next school districts
that need that support.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So while you're so you're going into the school,
but but you've got staff also going into the school,
and so the staff great staff. Yeah, and they stay
at that Yeah, they're there every week for the for
the process.
Speaker 2: They're there every day, and our staff work with anywhere
from one to twelve students in a day, and you know,
and it's really providing safety and regulation training and all
of that so that the students getting it and the
staff are getting it, so that they're learning those skills
so that we can then we have an exit plan
and we are trying.
Speaker 4: To get out.
Speaker 2: So it used to take us one to three years
to get out of a school district. We now can
get out of a school in as little as three
to six months.
Speaker 4: Okay with the staff. So and we go back to.
Speaker 2: The school once all the students have transitioned off. I
had a one of my amazing staff last year. She
had her school. She got all of her all of
her students were Tier three. She had nine students and
she got seven of them to Tier one and two
of them were at Tier two. And we went back
to the district in April and said, you know, we
should we need to pull her out, Like you don't
need that level of support there anymore. We can keep
doing stuff, but you're better off putting us in one
of your other schools in the district. Over the rest
of the year to try to shore up some of
the other issues, which works great, and we're we're constantly
on that and we're taking data all the time to
see where we're at with that too.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go into a school or a school
district where you're kind of pleasantly surprised that things maybe
aren't that bad, like like often like this one's going
to be kind of easy.
Speaker 4: Often, Yeah, that must be nice when that happens. Great
when it happens. Yeah, I mean, for me, the.
Speaker 2: Best thing that happens is when I go in and
they're like, tell me how else I can do this,
Give me some other strategies for this, and they want
to learn because then I'm like, oh, I'm in and
out fast, you know, because they're going to pick up
the strategies and I can exit out. And a lot
of times they're dealing with it where they're texting me
or emailing me and.
Speaker 4: Saying I tried this, I tried this, what else?
Speaker 2: And I'll say how about this, this and this, and
and they're able to work on it in that way.
When they're open to that, that's great. When I have
to spend a lot of time convincing them that it's
going to work.
Speaker 4: It takes more time. Yeah, obviously, do.
Speaker 1: You run into that a lot as well? Oh yeah,
I would imagine. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Image from the standpoint of those that are working with
the students, the teachers, the parents, one thing that I
hear is exhaustion.
Speaker 2: Exhaustion all around across the board for everybody, the parents,
the kids, the staff.
Speaker 3: What kind of advice do you give people that are
dealing just in general to deal with that exhaustion or
to try and help them.
Speaker 2: I think the big thing around exhaustion is that, like
we are working ourselves to a state of exhaustion a
lot of the time, so you know, implementing strategies that
are going to help significantly with that, making sure that
you're getting good quality sleep. But I really think it's
it's you know, giving yourself some downtime too, And a
lot of people don't.
Speaker 4: They're so overscheduled and it just happens.
Speaker 2: It's part of your life and everything. So I have
one of my own personal children, like she signs herself
up for everything, and then my other child will be like,
that's enough, I've got two nights of stuff. I just
want to be home and have my time, and I'm like,
you go, girl, Like she knows her boundaries and she
sets them and knows that it's too much.
Speaker 4: Where's my other one?
Speaker 1: Will?
Speaker 4: You know? Over schedule?
Speaker 2: And then she's you know, on top of it and
everything else. But I also make them my own personal children.
Like we've meditated since they were my littlest I think
was eighteen months when I started meditating with her. And wow,
and so we meditate every night as a family.
Speaker 4: Wow, my husband sleeps during the meditation.
Speaker 2: I'll sleep every night during the meditation. But my girls meditate.
We meditate every night, and that is part of what
my youngest daughter will tell you. That is the bigest
thing that has helped her with quality of sleep, that
has helped her with her anxiety, and has significantly helped
her when she starts to feel sad. So those are huge,
which you look at the research. I mean honestly, the
meditation it creates those hormones in the brain that helped
to combat all of those pieces and everything, so significantly
helps with that. And we're very specific about what we're
meditating about, whether we're reviewing our day, whether we are meditating,
because we want to think about something that we feel happens,
and we're mentally rehearsing that scenario, whatever it is. We're
very specific about our meditations.
Speaker 3: Now. Do you tell somebody that says, oh, I can't
meditate everybody, my brain doesn't stop.
Speaker 4: I can't meditate. I feel your pain. If you know
me that, I'm like, yeah, no, I hear that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually we talked about that when I was on
your podcast, because I hear that all the time.
Speaker 2: Apist, Yeah, everybody. Can you start with very small components
of time. I have Every one of my students tells
me that when I start with them, because we start
with mindfulness and we work up to meditation over time.
We have to do safety and regulation first, but we
get to the meditation and kids always students that have
said I.
Speaker 4: Can't do this, this is stupid, I don't like.
Speaker 2: It, you know, And then a couple months later I'm in.
They'll be like, doctor, b are we going to meditate today?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, yep, we are.
Speaker 2: So they get in, they get to that and they'll say, oh,
I really need to meditate today. I have a math
test and I've got to be ready or I've got to,
you know, get up in front of the class and
speak about this project that I'm doing. I need to meditate,
and I'll be like, okay, let's do it. And they
get themselves, you know, into a point where they really
look forward to it, and they tell me also, that's
one of the biggest things that helps their quality of life.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm, that's awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, that's excellent.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Sarah in the chat room two was asking, great question.
Can you explain the tears you mentioned like tier one
tier two?
Speaker 4: Yeah, good question.
Speaker 2: So Tier one is really just a student who might
be just struggling a little bit, having some trouble paying attention,
maybe talking to their neighbor or blurting things out, doing
that sort of thing.
Speaker 4: A Tier two kid is probably a student who's.
Speaker 2: Getting up and leaving class, using a lot of bathroom breaks,
maybe refusing to do work in the classroom. Those sorts
of things, isn't getting isn't producing much academically, especially if
they are not getting one on one support.
Speaker 4: That's a tier two.
Speaker 2: Tier three is your student who's probably not in your
classroom a lot of the time. It might not be
in the classroom at all.
Speaker 4: Those are Tier three kids.
Speaker 2: I tend to get Tier three kids if they are
physically aggressive. A Tier three kid who is not physically aggressive,
more in shutdown mode and stuff. Sometimes I'll get that student,
especially if it's if the community around them is really
invested in getting them to a better point. But it
really depends on the students. So the difference is that
students who are physically aggressive are obviously disruptive to the
school community. Yeah, so that's why we get called in
so quickly versus the other population. We work just as
much with the other population, especially with parents, but it's
not as high a need because it's not disrupting and
not putting a.
Speaker 4: Risk to the school community as as a whole.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for parents who are dealing
with this not obviously not in the school, but parents
who are dealing with this at home physically aggressive kids. Yeah,
and they don't know what to do.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean some big things are you know, does the
kid feel safe? And do you feel safe? If you
don't feel safe, then you're not going to be able
to convey safety to the other person. The stance of safety,
I talk about that all the time. There's a certain
way to stand your feet, are about shoulder with apart,
your hands are in front of your thumbs are up,
because that conveys confidence to the other person nonverbally, even
though they don't realize that your elbows.
Speaker 4: Are slightly out.
Speaker 2: But you're not in an arms of Kimbo sort of
stance because you're not trying to convey authority. You're trying
to convey safety. So there is a slight differentiation with that.
You're tilting your head lightly to the left, and the
reason why is that conveys empathy in lifting the chin
a little bit, because that also conveys that you're paying attention,
that you're intentionally attuned.
Speaker 4: So the stance safety huge.
Speaker 2: Usually if I just move into that stance when I
have a youth that is, you know, really agitated and
could be physically agitated destroying property or whatever, they start
to calm down and they end up usually moving into crying.
If you're a parent and you're home with your kid
oftentime and your kid is getting physically aggressive, oftentimes one
remove the trigger. So if the trigger is I want
that candy bar, I want that candy bar, and you
said no, and the candy bar is still on the counter,
you got to get whatever the trigger is same thing.
Speaker 4: I want my phone.
Speaker 2: I want my phone and the phone is still sitting
on the counter, or I want my xbox.
Speaker 4: Block it, either physically stand.
Speaker 2: In front of it so that they can't see it,
or put it away, because anytime they see that item,
it's gonna they're going to trigger again.
Speaker 4: It's just going to re escalate the person over again.
Speaker 2: So get rid of it, you know, provide some sort
of simple distraction once they start to come down a
little bit, but you've got to give them a moment
to come down. If you know your child is not
going to be physically aggressive towards you, oftentimes a hug
will bring them out of it because that calms the
olympic system. So if you're at home, a lot of
schools are non huggers, so I wouldn't say to do
that at school, But if you're at home, grab your
kid and hug them, or say do you need a hug?
Do you just need a hug right now? And you know,
pull them in and give them a hug. And usually
then you can say, hey, you know, let's let's go
do something, distract them for a minute, and then say
what are some solutions? What are some things we can
do differently and move them forward from that. Water is
also a great remedy for this.
Speaker 1: Oh I remember you talking about this.
Speaker 2: Get them in the tub, get them in the shower,
you know, if they're open to that. You know, water
will help to de escalate them for sure as far
as that stuff goes. So get them, you know, involved
in water somehow you can get them to do that.
But comfort items work really well too. If you can't
get them into a shower, get a get a blanket
and put it over them or something like that. Or
help them get to a smaller, more confined space. If
they're standing in the living room and that's your biggest
room of the house, they're going to keep screaming and
yelling and having big motions because the space is big.
Their body has to fill the space. That makes sense, Okay,
get them into the kitchen, in the bathroom, wherever. Get
them into a smaller space. That will help significantly.
Speaker 4: Okay, So the.
Speaker 2: More you can shrink the space, the more safe they're
going to feel. You know, at schools, I'll often be
like I'll say to the kid, I'll like just point
under the table, you know, and they'll just move under
the table and then I'll hand them a blanket and
then after a few minutes, they'll say, you ready to
come out and we'll do a focus activity and then
I get them back onto the academics. And the same
thing works really well at home. Like I'll you know,
you can say to them, you know, you want to go,
you know, into a cabinet or something like that, Like
all kids love that secret room, right concept I want
to build.
Speaker 5: Let's take me wrong.
Speaker 2: You'll just be like, open the cabinet, pull out the
you know, pull out your dishes and stuff for a second,
be like, won't you go in there for a moment,
you know, and they'll feel, they'll regroup, and then they
come out.
Speaker 4: And then you can do some processing with them. It's
really good.
Speaker 2: You need to do processing with them so that you
can talk about what they can do better the next time,
because you certainly don't want a twenty five year old
crawling into a cabinet when they get upset, right, Not
that that would I haven't heard any stories of that happening,
but yeah, don't.
Speaker 1: We don't even like it when our cats crawl into
our cabinets. But maybe that's why they You know, because
they like.
Speaker 4: They like small faces.
Speaker 2: This is the same reason why dogs like small confined
spaces everything too. I mean, it's you know, I have
a lot of kids who will go into their beds
when they don't feel safe. They go under their beds. Ye,
you know that, And I'll tell parents make it as
a safe place right there. If they're feeling stressed or
you can see that they're starting to get agitated, say hey,
why don't you go lay under your bed for a
little bit. Here's some here's some coloring, or here's some
this to do. Teens do it with clothing typically, so
if they're getting stressed and they're starting to get agitated
with you handam's sweatshirt.
Speaker 4: Okay, so I put the hood up.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, or Hannama winter hat so you can put
the hat on something like that. You know, that's why
people love to wear hats. It feel safer, get them
on and everything. It helps to stimulate that vagus nerve
and also helps to feel more confined, so.
Speaker 4: They feel a little bit safer.
Speaker 1: Everything that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, doctor b. The time
goes so quickly. We're already we're already approaching the top
of the hour. So I want to make sure before
we run out of time that our listeners know how
to reach you, how to learn more about the Behavior
boot Camp and the podcast of course, and anything else
you want to make sure everybody knows about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the easiest way to get a hold of
us is going to Wwwthbehavior boot camp dot com. That's
and we're also on the social media platforms under that
name is Well and everything we'd love to see. We
hold the free webinar every Thursday, and usually one of
our staff, one of our behaviorists, actually mansat. So if
you're having challenges at home, if you're having challenges at school,
whatever it may be, feel free to go on to
our website, sign up for that webinar and jump on
and a behaviorist will help get you through some of
those things, and they'll also give you some strategies, so
they have a planned content for that time. But that's
really for people who are struggling with certain scenarios that
need to work through things.
Speaker 1: Excellent. Excellent. By the way, I do want to read
this comment to Angela posted I've learned through Behavior Bootcamp
how body stance it's so important. Had no idea how
much body language can speak so much louder than words.
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much, Angelo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, thank you for that. Angela very
good well, doctor B. It's always a pleasure.
Speaker 4: It's always great to be here.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for having me you guys, it's good
to see you both now.
Speaker 1: We really appreciate you and Jenny before we go too.
You want to plug your website and remind everybody of
what you're doing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, coming with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, shout out much, shout out much.
Speaker 3: You can go to coffee dot com, j E N
N co O f f ui dot com. Check out
on my arm art work, keep up with my activism.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Looking forward to writing up what it was like going
to the White House to speak next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, big things, big things coming.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Don't forget to check out the Mosaic Art Collective right
here in the Queens City, where I'm proud to have
one of my pieces on display right now, and it's
not too late. I think today is the leadline deadline
to get in for the Spellbuying spell Bound Art show
next month at the Mosaic Art Collective.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, absolutely, uh, doctor B. Thank you again, and
of course thank you to jam tomorrow for joining us
in the second hour, and of course we had Adam
from Everfelt. Oh, I'm sorry. We had Jam Tomorrow in
the first hour, Adam in the second hour I ever Felt, Yes, Yes,
And we will leave you with as promised. So I'm
going to play the entire song because I love it
so much, Falling into Place by Jam Tomorrow. And if
you miss any part of today's show, it will be
up in just a little bit at wmnhradio dot org
at my website Matt Connorton dot com, and we'll talk
at you all a little bit later. By everybody, Bye bye,