Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate uh Kyle though, because he understands that,
at least now for the rest of the crew, that
her and Jess are officially done. Also, he'd fuck a
mailbox if it consents. I love you, Kyle.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode
of another below Deck podcast. Not what the show is
called anybore, but it used to be. It's bad TV.
I'm Dylan. That's pat permission.
Speaker 1: To come aboard.
Speaker 2: Hey dude, Hey, are how you doing?
Speaker 1: Doing pretty good? It's a buzzball Friday.
Speaker 2: You're out of buzzballs though, Well, but the audio for that,
because you were pretty pretty pissed drunk towards the end
of that last time. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh no, yeah,
Well that's some pretty embarrassing stuff I did. Yeah, got
into politics. You don't remember, No, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I never get into politics.
Speaker 2: I know. That's what was so weird about it.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, well, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: Maybe old power Nancy Pelosi's heavies for no, like, just
what the fuck?
Speaker 1: And her like her portfolio was I getting into that?
Speaker 2: You're talking, Well, you briefly mentioned the portfolio, but then
you got into how her husband invited that gay guy
into his house and they.
Speaker 1: Tried to kill him.
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you do? And why are
we talking about this?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: All right, so it's buzzball Friday. I hope you're having
a happy buzzball Friday on this Tuesday morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The Patriot dot Gov, Slash and other podcast that work
Donny a little or a little bit more. Go to
the review section Spotify comments all that stuff we want
to hear from you. Thank you for engaging with the show.
Thank you for supporting Meat and pat pat.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's up, bitch, not much, just ready to recap
some below deck.
Speaker 2: What are you doing tonight? Uh?
Speaker 1: My wife has reservations for a sushi restaurant called Sushi Uzu. Yeah,
and uh we'll be enjoying that. Yeah, and then we'll
come home and we'll probably uh watch a movie with the.
Speaker 2: Kids, The Edge with Anthony Hopkins.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, we're into cars right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Pixars cars. You know, Patrick and his wife go
on and I shouldn't wait into these waters because people
are it's gonna be so annoying. I think that's great.
They go on a fucking date every Friday. It's so ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I have to you gotta keep that. You gotta be
connected with your partner.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: I never understood all that stuff that people used to
give what relationship advice and be like, yeah, no, I'm connected. No,
when you have kids, you can be disconnected because you're
just in the day.
Speaker 2: We go out, just a couple of we gotta get
out of here.
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta date.
Speaker 2: With SHERIZI it use you at four fifty team in
the afternoon or really bird specials like I'll tell you, dude,
take a Friday off for women.
Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for all women. Taking your
lovely partner out for a dinner. That's a little foreplay.
Speaker 2: How's it working? Okay, guys, let's get into the episode.
It's uh. I mean, you know, eventually you gotta be
like we've been on sixty five days.
Speaker 1: I don't at least let me get to third base.
Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about third basically like Jen Alpha
or gen Z. I don't want to say Jenna. I
don't know how.
Speaker 1: I don't want to spit my mouth's face.
Speaker 2: You know what I found out My daughter is Jen Beta.
Speaker 1: What's that mean?
Speaker 2: That's what the generation is Jen Beta Jen Beta.
Speaker 1: It's not catchy. I don't think it's gonna stick. Who comes,
who's gonna be called GB?
Speaker 2: Well? And also Beta is just you know, culturally, I mean,
you're gonna give these kids a chip on their shoulder.
But also like.
Speaker 1: Who who Wow, I just thought of that. I know
you're calling them a bunch of pussy.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: And if you really go back, there was VHS and
a Beta Max Beta should have won the war. It
was a smaller videotape. I'm going I'm.
Speaker 2: Dating myself here.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but it's how we used to watch movies.
Speaker 2: My question is what committee of Greek letters and numbers
assigned these Like who says why Beta? Why do you
have to go Beta? Why didn't you go Omega? Generation? Omega?
Who's in charge of this stuff? Omega's cool?
Speaker 1: I guess they call it as they see it.
Speaker 2: The Greeks, well, I'm saying they're not. There are no
Greeks anymore. I mean there are Greeks, but they're just
drinking you know, wine and eating fish in the streets.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, though, I think there's something in
the water because it is kind of changing. My son
Quintin is two, Elliott's five, love both of them.
Speaker 2: Me.
Speaker 1: No, my daughter kicked him in the back for some
reason and laughed maniacally, and then she turned to me
to get a reaction. He took about a minute pause,
and he fucking like pulled his fist together and he
punched her in the back of the head.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, what kind of kick to the back was this?
Was this a donkey kick?
Speaker 1: Like a push or I sent you a video of it.
She was like speaking, she goes and she kicked him,
and you texted back to me he said, what language
was he speaking? Oh?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I said, like Jaba or something.
Speaker 2: Oh, Java is yeah, yeah, that's a good language. That's
a good, sturdy language. But listen, we're here to break
down below deck. It is the penultimate charter that is
wrapping up. It's the tit charter.
Speaker 1: What episode was this? Because we're fourteen, okay, so we
got like two more of these or something, two or
three more. Now, Dylan hates when I do this. I
have spoken with a cast member. He may come in
here to.
Speaker 2: Weak out when you do this.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm like one of those boards
dream boards. If I say it and put it out.
Speaker 2: Can't manifest sea rats coming into buildings.
Speaker 1: It's more accountable.
Speaker 2: And there and there you go. You're you're just testing
my patience. Why did you just do that? That's so annoying, said,
he'll come on for the last. But I've asked you
because you I'm trying to protect you. You've looked like
an idiot so many times saying we're gonna have this person,
We're gonna have this so is Frasier. He's a fucking
sea rat. I asked you not to do it for you,
and here you are, all buzzballed out, talking like a moron,
and then the ugh the audience. Why is Dylan so angry?
I'll get so fucking annoying. I promise I'm not going
to cut it out either.
Speaker 1: It's just too much the barnacles. He's coming on, go ahead, Okay,
I give it now.
Speaker 2: I'm sour.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get back in a better mood. Which you
think of the episode?
Speaker 2: I'll go, uh, the gall of you? The gall of you?
Just throw out a strip of nails, have someone's tires blowout,
and then just go hey, get over it.
Speaker 1: I felt you weren't connected with the recap right now,
and I think that brought you back in. Yeah, this
episode is basically saying the season is done. The only
thing worth note is Damo and what a fuck up
he is. One of the more bad habits of a
sea rat is creating unnecessary drama. They do it. There's
there's nothing in it for themselves, yet they put it
out there. You want to talk about nails on the floor? Hey, ole,
We were told, hey, hey, no one should talk to you,
so so we were told not sock to you.
Speaker 2: They said, you're kind of like a like a You're useless.
You're like a useless hummingbird, and you'll just bounce all
over the place if we talk to you. So go
wash that knife off with sand.
Speaker 1: That was bizarre.
Speaker 2: That was bizarre.
Speaker 1: Uh. Yeah, the season's winding down, two more episodes. Uh
what are we going to talk about for thirty five minutes?
Speaker 2: Uh? No, I thought, go ahead, give your tits or
I'm sorry. I'm on housewives.
Speaker 1: Not no housewives is fatty photos.
Speaker 2: That's true, That's that's true.
Speaker 1: All right. Also, I don't like chess. I don't like chess.
Speaker 2: And what do you not like about Joe?
Speaker 1: Okay, well, for one ten minutes ago she was falling
to pieces because her two grandpappies uh fucking rolled sevens
because they ate too many donuts or something.
Speaker 2: Sure, and now she's all up on it was cancer,
it was the big C.
Speaker 1: I think it was exclusively eating at carnivals for forty
two years.
Speaker 2: You mentioned that, but I don't. I don't know that.
Uh yeah, let's not touch that with a ten.
Speaker 1: OK.
Speaker 2: But here's because it's it's amazing your behavior today has
made me so angry. You're aware that the sea rats
they all listened to the show. We've all we've heard
from we know that the sea rets listened to the show.
And here you are on a mic with sweet sweet Jess,
who is like Anakin skywalker. Right now she is pulled
to the light into the dark. Now, ultimately she will
fall and become a sith of lesbian puss and just
go around breaking people's hearts and it'll be sad. But
you know they're listening, and here's this, this, this sea
rat with grandparents who she loved, and you get on
the mic like fucking tomp like it and go, hey,
maybe they wouldn't have died if they were such fat,
fucking pigs, such jolly fat fucking pigs. It's just crazy.
Speaker 1: I was pointing out that she was upset about their passing,
and then now she's all up in Ole Solay's grill.
Speaker 2: Well you were pointing out that as well. So I
thought it was a fun episode, knots Okay, great, I
thought it was a fun episode. So Lenne just she's
like a fucking billy goat. I mean she she goes
directly to I mean essentially the chief executive officer of
the boat. I mean it's not even a it's not
even a boss, it's the CEO of the boat, and
just goes, Hey, what the fuck's up with you? Is
this coming from you? Like the most blunt Colombo you
could imagine. She's she's not a very crafty one question,
but yeah, I thought there.
Speaker 1: Was Can I can I can I begin the ceremonies here?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I need to get my pots though. Oh sorry,
seventy one.
Speaker 1: Okay, don't do it, bro. We begin with Rainbow contemplating
how she Andrew just said don't do it, bro, because
that's a direct quote from Rainbow. Don't do it, Bro.
She was talking to herself. She was getting here to get.
Speaker 2: Up she had the arthurpist.
Speaker 1: That's right. She's contemplating how she will in fact kill Ole.
She's looking around at all the cutlery and whatnot. It
kind of reminded me of in pulp fiction when Bruce
Willis escaped Z's dungeon and he was deciding which weapon
he'd use to help Marcelo Wallace. Yeah, because he was,
you know, being sexually assaulted.
Speaker 2: Oh definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah he got busted open. But yeah,
Selene is she's not aware of that upstairs. You know.
She thinks that she's just kind of like talking down
to her supervisor. But upstairs is a real mental waffling
between ignoring it and literally spilling her entrails all over
the floor. So I don't think that Selena really has
any idea And how much fucking danger she Yeah, so
it is. She's she's severely under fire.
Speaker 1: So so one last note on pulp fiction, sorry to
bring that up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did just watch that film.
Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, And it's a little
slow now, a little slow.
Speaker 2: I think that's just because you're on your phone playing Jeopardy.
Speaker 1: I do not I put my phone away when I
watch a movie. I commit.
Speaker 2: What happened to mobile Jeopardy?
Speaker 1: I stopped playing. I was addicted. It was costing me
too much money.
Speaker 2: You were doing micro transactions?
Speaker 1: Well you have to buy gold.
Speaker 2: You were doing micro trans that's called within the Jeopardy
mobile game.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: How much money do you think?
Speaker 1: You're a lot? A lot? But I was getting better,
that's what's called.
Speaker 2: Why did you need to buy the gold? You don't
need gold to play Jeopardy?
Speaker 1: Yeah you do. No, yes, you do not.
Speaker 2: On Alec Trebek's Jeopardy. You don't need gold.
Speaker 1: I think I deleted the app. I was so upset.
Speaker 2: All right, it's all right, not get distracted. So so
so is under fire right, because she's fairly, you know, useless.
But she says you want to speak, we already speak,
because Rainbow hails her for another conversation.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is when they pulled it. By the way,
I didn't Jess at this point compare her to a
rotting apple. I've never heard someone compared to as a
rotting She said, she's a rotting apple, right now, just it, Well,
rot rotten apple, a rotten apple, a rotting rotting.
Speaker 2: Okay, but you've heard rotten apple before.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've heard rotten apple. Okay, yeah, yeah, one
time I ate an apple and I had a dead
fly in it. You ever experience that.
Speaker 2: I've never experienced that. That's actually pretty tough. You know.
I think I'm not sure if it's a myth or not,
but I think what is it? Is it the fig?
The fig? I don't know if this is all figs.
I don't know if we've talked about this before. Figs.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like figs.
Speaker 2: Okay, chill out, you don't like figs? What are you
talking about? Figs are magnificent.
Speaker 1: It's like eating like shrinkled balls with sugary juice in them.
Speaker 2: If only figs when they're germinated or inseminated or something.
They're inseminated, so by the carcass of it of a
wasp wasps kamikaze into some fig flour and then the
fig is like dead wasp. Wow? Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Also a great death?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I I can you imagine.
Speaker 1: I dive bombed into a to a piece of fruit
and we became one.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, you know, listen, these jihattists think
they're gonna get a bunch of fucking pussy in the clouds. Now.
That sounds pretty great, but it's probably not real. We
know that these these wasps they turn into fruit.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's such a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: I would love that.
Speaker 1: My my favorite dog, I consider him a son's Spotty.
When he died, I buried him in my backyard. I
planted a lime tree off him, and it's he's.
Speaker 2: Creating some margarita. Yeah, yeah, Margarita's put a little lime
in there. Thank you, Spotty, Thank you Spotty. All right,
so let's get to the next morning.
Speaker 1: Oh but first, hold on, hold on. Okay, So end
of the night, Rainbow and Olay need to clear the
air bro and also Rainbow texts Frasier that Ole is
fucking useless, and they conclude the meeting, I think, which
is a step in the right direction.
Speaker 2: Olay will try sure, that's all you can do.
Speaker 1: And then the night concludes with a charter guest asking
for a boob cake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to put that on the preference sheet.
We can't just throw titty cakes at people, you know.
Speaker 1: I got to give it to Cheffy. I also do
not like him as well, but Strawberry shortcake tits, well done.
You know, my buddy got test tecular testicular cancer last year.
We won't say the name of that person. He lost
one ball. Sure, I wish I got him a brownie shape,
like a hairy bean bag.
Speaker 2: You know you mm hmm, Hey, you're pretty. You're fucking
weird today. Well you're all over the place.
Speaker 1: What's weirder than our friend is losing her boobs next week?
So do you mind having a cake of boobs?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: My buddy lost a fucking uh you know, what do
you call a gonad?
Speaker 2: No, they're called testicles. Okay, yeah, okay, you know, but
men are resilient. I have another one. Take it. God.
So we wake the next day and Kyle is a man,
a new He does not need to back off of
so anymore. Kyle, He's reborn, Kyle, Kyle, the reason you
need to back off of so so is because of
the nature of so So, not because she's with anybody else.
She doesn't care about those other people. You should stay
away because you are no match for her. You will
be at the bottom of a bottle. Heartsick little puppy again.
Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate Kyle though, because he understands that, at
least now for the rest of the crew, that her
and Jess are officially done. Also, he'd fucking mailbox if
it mad. I love you, Kyle, don't shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: And again, fans are gonna think I'm being pretty rude
to you, But fans do not know the time I've
spent cutting out this same fucking thing over and over
and over again every episode.
Speaker 1: Well that's why you got to go to the uncensored.
Speaker 2: Hear Oh yeah, go there and you'll hear it. Fuck me, man.
So Jess is concerned with so so getting fired, and
she's confiding in her girlfriend, her Sea red girlfriend about this.
Pat This is a big no no, right, I mean,
if this was how to close us for less money
is for straight males. But if you could for a
moment look at this interaction through that lens. What is
wrong about this?
Speaker 1: Uh? Please put me in the place of this. I
got lost in the narr Okay.
Speaker 2: So Jess is telling her girlfriend, oh she's concerned.
Speaker 1: About yes, yes, yes, she tries explaining to Barbara that,
you know, the work ethic of my ex is just
despicable and she's a horrible person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, but she's also worried about her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm worried about her. Yeah, yeah, that is Uh,
she wants to have sex with her ola and she's
thinking about her quite a bit, right, yeah.
Speaker 2: Right, So you have to keep this close to the best.
You can't you can't be oh no, oh no, don't
talk to Babs about Silee and being worried about her position.
Speaker 1: On I've said this on another podcast. My wife pissed
me off about like four or six months ago. She goes,
we should hang out with this couple. She kept putting
that on me, right, and I go, I don't like them,
and she's like, we should hang out. And I'm like,
what are you into the husband or something?
Speaker 2: Uh? Oh world War three? Oh yeah, you got World
War three. So the cake is asked for Anthony, whose
uncle stole his wife says, let me just fucking make
these kuprazy salads. I'll figure it out later. So we've
got a big day coming up. We've got the best
Baked you this season. Selene is going with a mandate
that she cannot be spoken to, and we've also got
the med more coming up with sea rats who are
starting to miss their marks. I am frothing at the
mouth for these disasters. Good job, producers, well done.
Speaker 1: I do want to jump back to one moment where
Damo asked Kyle if he's interacting with the guests, and
Kyle says, no, I've been told not to. Kyle Carrie,
Captain Cary didn't say you couldn't chat with the female guest.
He said you couldn't have sex with them.
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Speaker 1: Who cares well their husband was asleep on the beach.
Speaker 2: Fix Ky I was like, well, you know, let's just
cut it off at the past. I'll stay away. You know.
Speaker 1: The next episode of the trailer is pretty good. You
learn that Damo secretly wants to have sex with uh also,
and also Kyle's going to get in trouble again with
one of those female chart agains. No watch trailer.
Speaker 2: I watched the trailer. That's a very clear Bravo tis
fair enough. Okay, so see Red History with Hugo tough
part of New York Sirens gunshots but not your typical
familial Hell.
Speaker 1: Now his dad got him out of there because NYC
was a little too dangerous. Now he gets to supervise,
supervise sex addicted drunk. So it all worked out. Yeah,
so all of you can just dream, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, am I so far? Okay, Hang, we're
all over the place, some pretty wicked slow mo shots
and we move on with our day. We get to lunch.
It's prevensil seared tuna. He goes back to that spice
quite often, and this is for the beach picnic. Okay.
So upon, you know, we're setting up for lunch, and
you know, Anthony's searing this tuna off and Selene looks
at the QP maynaise. She says, it's this ketchup. It's
a it's a transparent plas bottle of white mayonnaise. But
she licks the top of it.
Speaker 1: She does, so Lay at this point is bored and
she is just being as vaudevillian as possible. Yeah, yeah,
it doesn't make.
Speaker 2: Sense, great word for what she traffics in.
Speaker 1: Now. Frasier, meanwhile, is on the boat and he catches
up with Barbara and he asks if the romance will
continue with her and Jess. But no one cares about
that because we know where that's going. But he asked
a more important question, which is, are you have you
guys scizzored yet?
Speaker 2: No, he didn't.
Speaker 1: He did say that.
Speaker 2: No he didn't.
Speaker 1: Well, he didn't use the word, but.
Speaker 2: She, of course he didn't use the word. It was
a blind Yeah. So lunch province, Al's here tuna with
freshly licked mayonnaise. I get a twelve pots.
Speaker 1: I think the crew ate better at linch.
Speaker 2: Hey, oh, the crew had fantastic food. So we head
back to the boat. Oh, to that spice for a while.
I'm so sorry, this isn't the most hygienic day. So
Selene's licking the top of the mayonnaise. She's washing off
the knives in sand and cleaning the knives all just
on her pants. So she really is She is like
a I don't know, like a Marx brother right right now.
So we get some Sea Red history with Hugo, like
we mentioned. But before or after that, we hear the
inception music play, the blade runner keys go off the synth,
and we get ready for the tying off of the
mid mole. The fucking tie off the mid mall right,
and we're gonna have to drop two anchors and then
fucking back it in. Okay, So this is a really
tricky maneuver path. How do you think they did well?
Speaker 1: I believe Carrie. The quote was after they pulled this
off that he was happy is a dog with two tails.
Speaker 2: Now. I wanted to ask you about this because you're
a big fan of Captain Carrey. I am a friend
of his, but this was reminiscent of a captain you
are not a fan.
Speaker 1: Of Oh I couldn't disagree with more more with you, Dylan,
This completely makes sense.
Speaker 2: There comes the kids out and.
Speaker 1: This could not make more sense. When a dog is happy, what.
Speaker 2: Does he do, Dylan Whay, Well, they a.
Speaker 1: Dog wags his tail, So a dog with two tails
would be double the thud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's how you get tails from sonic.
Speaker 1: Fine. Let me let me give a direct quote from
the previous captain that helmed this vessel for the first
ten years. The pucker effect is so strong that you
couldn't drive a straight pin up my asshole with a
ten pound sledgehammer. Okay, how nonsensical is that? Does it
make sense? Ah?
Speaker 2: It makes sense, But it's it's just a very very
grotesque image. Right, it's very long.
Speaker 1: Most writers would say, keep it brief, keep it short,
easy for the audience to understand. Hey, mister poopy pants,
how's staring at a wall every day? And oh, how's
that podcast going that you had there?
Speaker 2: Captain Lee, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1: Was going to talk about Bravo Gossip.
Speaker 2: Kelly Dodd wants to get back on the show. Kelly
Dodd's got a better chance of getting back on the
real Housewives of Orange Counties. A raccoon does find in
gourmet cavy or in a sizzler.
Speaker 1: Lost your fastball day. Enjoy that wall. Enjoy that wall.
Speaker 2: So have I. I still hate him. Damo and Slaine
have a little pasta confrontation. Damo, that's up to where
he goes, Hey, by the way, you know, we were
told that you're a serious fucking liability. We can't even
talk to you. And in the cutting or in the
talking heads, he says that he thinks the world of Celenne,
but she's one of the most useless people. Will work unethical. Yeah,
she's work unethical.
Speaker 1: She's hot, but she's lazy. Not me. I don't find
her attractive at all.
Speaker 2: Okay, thanks for thanks.
Speaker 1: I just want to be on record as saying now
she annoys me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But Damo, once again, I said this at the top
of the show. Who does this help? What? And I
like how? Later he talks to Hugo we'll get there
and he goes like, hey, did you ah, did you
tip her off?
Speaker 2: He's like, sorry, man, but it's not my fucking problem.
Speaker 1: No, no, it is your problem. It is why did
you do that? It's fucking implied as a intelligent human
being that you don't tell the person.
Speaker 2: Well, and it's an intelligence operation. I mean, this is
a this is a clandestine event, so we don't need
to be just blab our mouthing to our target. Okay,
that's how people get killed. So Fraser makes the call
up to Hugo. He goes, what the fuck, man, keep
your fucking bitches in line. Okay, your bitches are not
in line right now. And then we get to the
second night of the charter. Tonight's theme is wigs. Tonight's steam.
Oh like, but she's not she.
Speaker 1: I think she went through chemo.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what she did.
Speaker 1: Sorry my grammy again, what a tough bitch. When she
was eighty eight, she got fucking cancer and all her
hair fucking fell out, and she wore that wig and
so cute of Grammy.
Speaker 2: She's my daughter, reminds me, you love your grammy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I should have been nice to her. I was
a little mouthy towards the end.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was she fat? No?
Speaker 1: She ate a cake every day?
Speaker 2: Though. Can I ask you something if she was fat,
how would you feel if some random podcast or you
heard going, pet's fat, Grandma? It's probably he should probably
die because she was such a fat ass.
Speaker 1: Well deal, when you dole it out, you gotta be
willing to accept it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: People say horrible things about me all the time.
Speaker 2: That's true. So first course, it's a king crab leg Now,
you and I don't like this kind of meat. The
thing that.
Speaker 1: I'm going to a sushi restaurant and I'm going to
order chicken.
Speaker 2: The thing about this first course is that I appreciate
the meat being harvested for you. Okay. So one of
the main gripes I have with crab is that people
that really love it get rather voracious and too excited,
and they'll start cracking and it is. It's a little
bit like alien Earth. There's just slime and goo every where. Right.
Speaker 1: Uh. If you saw what I saw when I worked
at weather Vane Seafoods with some of these sea bugs,
you'd crack a head one once in a while because
we'd use every part of the lobster. Oh, green fucking
goo would fall out of the brain.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's yellow and green goo. That's exactly
what it is. So we get a couple of filets
cooking medium whale.
Speaker 1: Okay. I wanted to ask you about that medium raw.
Yeah you caught that too. What the fuck is this problem?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: French medium raul, Yeah, so rare well medium raul medium.
Where my, hey, asshole, did you say hold on hot.
Speaker 2: Spell it just gotta spell it? My uh, my lovely
sister Ruby Wren, who's been gallivanting around my Yorka for
the past I don't know, month and a half.
Speaker 1: She's supposed to be on this show.
Speaker 2: Now to be having a good time. So she she
sends me a tweet that was so funny the other day.
Mama Mia sounds like a Northerner telling their mother that
they're home. Mama Mia, Is that a good one? I
like it? Not a good one, Mama Mia. You know.
It sounds like a filthy liver pud land, you know.
And the mom's upstairs. She can't even stand She's said drunk.
Speaker 1: I'm still processing the.
Speaker 2: Joke, yeah, Mama Mia. Anyway, so it's very confusing as
to what the stakes are doing. What they're doing internally
are the medium way out and the medium way out.
But the one thing that we do know is that
they will be served as half of a surf and
turf combination. Now, I appreciate that the first course was
harvested for me. But what I definitely am not going
to do, and I'm definitely not gonna do this is
have a first course beaking and a second course be lobster. Okay, life,
let's commit, right, are we doing a seafood extravagance? If
we are, don't put beef anywhere near me. Uh. If
we're not, let's mix it up, right, let's go vegetably
focused for the first one. Some kind of cheese course,
but definitely not crab lobster. Wow, medium way? I mean, well,
so Anthony doesn't know what tits look like? Evidently, go ahead.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna comment that I think restaurants should
serve strawberry shortcake?
Speaker 2: Or is that what you're gonna say?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, it's pretty Have you had strawberry shortcake?
Speaker 2: Not in some time?
Speaker 1: Oh? It's so fun?
Speaker 2: Is it? One of pat is one of Patty's favorite.
Speaker 1: My Grammy used to make it.
Speaker 2: What is going on with you? I don't know. Did
she come to you in a dream last night? No?
Speaker 1: Jess was talking about her grandparents dying of morbid obesity,
and it just get some.
Speaker 2: Thoughts in my head, right, right right, cake a day.
Speaker 1: A cake a day. She'd make it. It was angel
food cake.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know what that is, of course, and.
Speaker 1: I used to We lived in a duplex, my mom.
Speaker 2: That's one of the great foods, angel food. Angel food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom and I lived on one side of
the duplex, and there was a little hallway I could
sneak underneath, and uh, every once in a while I
would just open up. They used to keep the bakery
stuff in like a little small version of an oven.
And my grandmother there'd be that angel food.
Speaker 2: I think she visited you or something. You think talking
about her?
Speaker 1: No, I you know what. I read that letter that
she wrote to me.
Speaker 2: Touch me very sweet. So Fraser asks if if Anthony
wants to cut the tits downstairs or upstairs?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Can I can I say something?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: I think it took you too long to ask. I
was attacked by my own spit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I hate to. As I'm getting older, I
swallow now like I'm of the age now where you
swallowed the wrong way, it could kill you.
Speaker 2: You gotta be really careful when you're swallowing. So Frase goes,
should we cut it down? Here, and I gotta say, frase,
if you cut the tits down here, I mean, what's
the point of the tits, It's just cake, right, And
the nips they were green, they were alien areolas. But
they reminded me of Sprinkles cupcakes, which you know, I
know it's been Kardashianized and all that stuff, but I
love I love a Sprinkles. I love a Sprinkles.
Speaker 1: You want to win over a party where they tell
you to bring something, you head down to your local
Sprinkles and you put like twelve of those goddamn things.
Speaker 2: It's going to cost you a sixty bucks.
Speaker 1: Oh I wish it was sixty No, it's.
Speaker 2: Probably sixty seventy for a dozen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's a lot for us.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's absurd.
Speaker 1: And then you show up at that party they open
that box. It's like Christmas boarders.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Everybody loves a sprinkle and if you don't
have one in your area, it means that you live
in a better place than Los Angeles. Okay, So we
get to Selein working lates. She's doing better tonight. Oh
in the dinner, I would give four pots. I really
can't get over the crap to lobster transition.
Speaker 1: Here's the odd thing with Ole and Rainbow's relationship. Rainbow
does this like there's no middle ground.
Speaker 2: Rainbow tests her quite a bit.
Speaker 1: It's either i'll let you know when you get to
go to bed and I want to stab you, oh yeah,
or jokey yeah.
Speaker 2: And Selene's you know, street smart and charismatic, so she
knows Rainbow's a weirdo. Now Selene is a sea rat,
so she just know she her head is not on
a swivel. You got to ask if you're confronted by
somebody like Rainbow and there's this up and down kind
of yo yo oddness, you have got to have your
brothers about you, and you got to go did this
person slaughter their entire family in some kind of Hunger
Games gauntlet? So doesn't do that, right, She's just waffling
through this cornfield, completely ignorant of the danger that she's facing.
Now she's working better at night, but she has a mission.
She's gonna find out the fucking rat that told everybody
that they can't speak to her.
Speaker 1: I would argue in an earlier conversation, Frasier had said,
we were doing this for your own good. There lies
the culprit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but now she's on a mission. We get to
the next day, Soelen falls off the boat and we
get super intense music for the guests to parting, and
then we get to the tip meeting.
Speaker 1: Pat twenty one k I'm gonna round down to sixteen
hundred sea rats seem happy. None of this makes any sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Damo, we get a little sea rat history
with him.
Speaker 1: He makes money and bad decisions, no shit.
Speaker 2: He is just the most goddamn quintessential sea rat. He
just comes out and says, one of the things that
I love about doing this is all of the fucking
mistakes I make. You know, I mean you with that
kind of vantage, because a lot of sea rats don't
even know their sea rats. They're just sea rats. Damo
is almost He has this meta pride for being a
sea rat, and I think only with that can you
escape being a sea rat.
Speaker 1: To be self aware. I do see him. I'd welcome
him back for another season. I think he's just stretching
his wings.
Speaker 2: So we get to the sea rats sitting down for
a meal fit for a king, surf and turf, and
Celenne poops. She actually poops all over the table with
this one, and she uh goes straight up to carry
and she goes, hey, bitch, are you.
Speaker 1: The one that fucking told everybody they can't talk to me?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, I'd argue, if Captain Carrey much respect you want
to keep that line between you and your crew, probably
don't sit down in the same mess Hale, because you're
all making small times.
Speaker 2: Sound like lucrati much respectect much, very much respect to you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you're sitting down with the sea rats,
they're mixing it up, you're kind of Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a nuance that I don't think a
lot of sea rats are capable of understanding. Oh no,
you know. I mean, you cannot be confronted in a
certain unsaid way. But you also want to mix it
up with them. That's why Captain Lee just stayed up there,
took shits and played fruit.
Speaker 1: Well and drank vodka all day that fucking drunk.
Speaker 2: Allegedly. Sure, that's a complete made up thing.
Speaker 1: Ah right, Allegedly we were afraid of getting sued by him.
Speaker 2: I mean, when people idle hands of the Devil's playground,
that's true.
Speaker 1: You know, they've been running marathons of below deck for
the last forty eight hours, and I came upon the
episode where it was Camille and Alyssa and Alyssa with
Captain Sandy said, hey, Sandy, Yeah, Sandy did not take kind.
Speaker 2: I remember that she got fired for Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I remember because Alyssa was very toxic. Her and Camille
were very toxic. And Sandy was like, hey, you gotta
chrom him, you gotta keep them afloat, right them better.
And she goes, Hey, Sandy, she goes, you got to
get out here. So anyways, Celene speaks a little too loudly,
a little too abrasively to Carrie, does not respect the
chain of command, and Carrie gets up, and that's when
Jess kind of takes over. Oh boy, this was Yeah,
this was a lot of bottled up animosity from a
lot of different sources.
Speaker 1: A little too animated about it, well heated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, listen, the walls have been closing in
for six weeks now, so people are at their wits end.
But Jess says, you know, I'm fucking sick of all
of us having a tiptoe around your incompetence. It's goddamn ridiculous.
I mean, we're all getting in trouble because we weren't
supposed to talk to you, and now you know, because
you and we were gonna be able to It's like,
what the fuck? Man? But at the end of the day,
to you, it is all about beaver.
Speaker 1: Yeah you could if you're on the outside as an
observer looking and like, wow, she's really out letting her
coworker have it.
Speaker 2: She's really upset about the lack of professionals.
Speaker 1: If you're on the inside, it's more about scissory.
Speaker 2: Right right, right. So Kavin carrey Hale's fraser up to
the crow's nest and says, hey, get your bitches in line, man.
I can't I can't have people fucking talking to Gator
like that.
Speaker 1: He didn't say it that way, but it was implied.
Speaker 2: You know, keep your pimpants strong. So I actually found
myself really sympathetic towards Selena. I felt so bad for her.
She's out there, she's on the verge of tears, she's
sucking down six, she's gotten the ship beat out of her.
But this is what these sea rats do, these sex
attic sea rats. Not saying that Selena is a sex attic,
but she is a little spring you feel so bad
for him. They really rope you in with that shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's about learning, though, dyl It's life. You learn
and then you reflect back and you improve your behavior
and become a better person.
Speaker 2: Thank you, So, Kenny, Kenny's done on this show. Selene
and Frasier have a final conversation. Now, this conversation can
go one of two ways. It can really only go
one way, but it can go one of two ways.
Option A is Selene going, Okay, I understand, I won't
do that anymore. Option B is flipping out in French,
pushing back and going, what the fuck are you doing
talking to me like this? You fucking you know. And
it's like Selene, if this happens on the sixth episode,
she's shit, can't But what below Deck does is they
stretch in competence out in such a marvel this way.
Do you remember Breathe, the one who couldn't see or
spell or read or do anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she would call laundry.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, she got round it. She made
it the entire season.
Speaker 1: I think the supervisors, the Boson and the chief stew
they see success as carrying along one of these idiots
right until the end.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're they're they're like military leaders.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're pulling a guy got his legs
blown off, and you're in the ship and you're carrying
his body.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You get back from Ramani and you're like, listen,
did we did we succeed? No? Did Jason's legs get
blown off? Yes? We all made it back.
Speaker 1: We all made it back.
Speaker 2: Get in the comments, let us know what you thought
about the episode. We love you guys very much. Got
to Patreon dot com, slash another podcast network. Donate a
little or a little bit more. Getting the iTunes ready
to reviews, five stars, kind words get us up to
two thousand. Let's go, let's get there. We'll see you
next week. Have a great week. I'm dying saying goodbye,
pat Segod later downs instant in
Speaker 1: The distance,