Speaker 1: You are listening to Subject to Interpretation, a podcast where
Speaker 1: I pull some cards to open up the conversation. But
Speaker 1: my job is to challenge you to lean into your
Speaker 1: intuition and listen closely for your own personal confirmations. I
Speaker 1: am your host, Cynthia be mentor and coach to women
Speaker 1: who have the audacity to recognize just how much of
Speaker 1: their journey through womanhood is truly rooted in spirituality. Please
Speaker 1: put your triggers to the side so you've got room
Speaker 1: to open up your mind and let's get into your
Speaker 1: message of the day, shall we. So the card of
Speaker 1: the day is the three of cups. And if you
Speaker 1: are unfamiliar with the keywords in terror, I want you
Speaker 1: to think about holiday. I'm kidding or serious, but I
Speaker 1: want you to think of celebration and emotional development emotional growth. Okay,
Speaker 1: I want you to think of those two things. So
Speaker 1: before I get into it, you know the drill by
Speaker 1: Now pause the episode, open up your notes app on
Speaker 1: your phone, and just jot down brain dump if you will,
Speaker 1: the things that come up for you when you think
Speaker 1: about celebration and emotional growth. Okay, Okay, now I trust
Speaker 1: that you did. What the fuck I told you to do,
Speaker 1: and let's get into your message of the day. So
Speaker 1: I pulled this card this morning, and for me, I immediately
Speaker 1: immediately knew. I was like you motherfucking I immediately knew.
Speaker 1: So if mind walk and I'm thinking, and I have
Speaker 1: this thing that I do that I have been working on,
Speaker 1: not necessarily fixing, but doing better at for many many
Speaker 1: years now, and though I am doing better, I still
Speaker 1: slip back into very old habits in this specific area.
Speaker 1: And that would be I don't celebrate myself enough. And
Speaker 1: here's what that looks like for me. So I have
Speaker 1: many gifts like you listening, you have many gifts. I
Speaker 1: have many gifts that because they are they come naturally
Speaker 1: to me that I don't see them as a big deal.
Speaker 1: And if I don't see them as a big deal,
Speaker 1: I don't find them worthy to pause to celebrate. It's
Speaker 1: a thing, right, and that comes from a big of
Speaker 1: it comes from having been in survival mode for so
Speaker 1: many years of my life. And you know I'm not
Speaker 1: there anymore. However, there's things, there are some things that
Speaker 1: have carried over from that long, long, long era of
Speaker 1: my life. So my modus operandi is get some shit done,
Speaker 1: then beyond to the next one. Get some shit done
Speaker 1: beyond to the next one. Get some shit done beyond
Speaker 1: to the next one. So I'll write a book. This
Speaker 1: is a perfect example. I've written many books. Obviously I'll
Speaker 1: write a book. I'm done with it, onto the next one.
Speaker 1: I don't really stop to look at my book and think, Dan, girl,
Speaker 1: you wrote a book. It's in your hand, it's a hardcover. Wow.
Speaker 1: Remember when you dreamed of this as a kid, and
Speaker 1: you would fly through books and imagine yourself one day
Speaker 1: being somebody who writes books that other people love of
Speaker 1: Remember No, instead, I'm my cool story next. I also
Speaker 1: think a big part of that, too, is just the
Speaker 1: way my brain works, where I am constantly looking for
Speaker 1: to create something else. Right, it kind of goes together.
Speaker 1: But as a result, you know, I don't. I just
Speaker 1: don't take the time to celebrate my accomplishments and the
Speaker 1: things that I do the way I know I deserve.
Speaker 1: Because this has been pointed out to me from everybody
Speaker 1: who loves me. Everyone who loves me at some point
Speaker 1: has been has said to me, Hey, maybe give yourself
Speaker 1: a round of applause, because who does that, right? Who
Speaker 1: do you know? Who's doing what you're doing? And I've
Speaker 1: had this put in perspective for me a few times.
Speaker 1: Who do I know that's doing all that I'm doing?
Speaker 1: And I had to sit down and think about it
Speaker 1: and say, no, one that I know personally in my life. Right,
Speaker 1: I've had my best friend sit me down, I've had
Speaker 1: doin I've had so many people who love me a lot.
Speaker 1: Who do you know that can you know? Who's building websites,
Speaker 1: who's doing this with women, who's writing books, who's putting
Speaker 1: together podcast episodes, Who's da da da da da da
Speaker 1: da da da all the things? Who can probably solve
Speaker 1: the way you do. Who could see solutions the way
Speaker 1: you do. Who's who can read cards the way you do?
Speaker 1: Who could read people, who could read energy? Who could
Speaker 1: da da da? And I'm like, Okay, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1: But because it's something that comes one natural to me
Speaker 1: and then to something I have worked on for so
Speaker 1: long to not perfect, That's not the word I'm looking for,
Speaker 1: because I a lot of the things I do are
Speaker 1: not perfect, but I've worked on for so long to
Speaker 1: to do very well. There have to do very well.
Speaker 1: I just don't see it that way. And so when
Speaker 1: I was walking and I was thinking, I knew immediately,
Speaker 1: you know, some of the areas in my life right
Speaker 1: now that I have been just moving through that I
Speaker 1: should have probably paused to celebrate. It's not too late piece,
Speaker 1: by the way, I'm having myself a little celebration party
Speaker 1: for unircuit. But and it just made me think of
Speaker 1: how many women also are notorious for doing that, right.
Speaker 1: And part of this is also reparenting work as well,
Speaker 1: because so one thing, if you're a parent out there,
Speaker 1: you'll know that when you have small children, everything they do,
Speaker 1: you must make a big deal about it because that
Speaker 1: is how you build their confidence. Right. So you know,
Speaker 1: your kid is like, you know, mom, look look look
Speaker 1: at this dance right, and it's a two second turnaround,
Speaker 1: and you have to say, oh, good job, you have
Speaker 1: to make it. Look, mom, look at how I can
Speaker 1: you know, jump in the pool right, And it's like, okay, good, yay,
Speaker 1: you fucking jumped in the pool. But yeay, right, but
Speaker 1: you have to make a big deal about it because
Speaker 1: that is how you build their confidence. So they jumped
Speaker 1: in the pool, you know, and yeah, good job, uh
Speaker 1: you know, so so good. One of the things that
Speaker 1: I do with our eight year old is well, I
Speaker 1: do it with both kids. But it's whenever they do something,
Speaker 1: I you know, we celebrate. I say yeah, and who's glowing?
Speaker 1: And then they say I'm glowing. I say who's glowing?
Speaker 1: They say I'm glowing. I said, who's glowing? I'm glowing.
Speaker 1: That's how we That's a local celebration vibe. Right. It's
Speaker 1: also something that I say to when they're feeling down
Speaker 1: after I give them a little pep talk and they're
Speaker 1: sad about something, and at the end of the pep talk,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, who's glowing? And they're like, I'm glowing?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, say it louder, which chest who's glowing?
Speaker 1: I'm glowing? And that's just what we do, right. So
Speaker 1: that's a big part of instilling confidence in your kids. However,
Speaker 1: as we get older, one thing we'll do is forget
Speaker 1: to continue doing that for ourselves. Right, We forget to
Speaker 1: continue doing that for ourselves and or there are a
Speaker 1: lot of women out there who didn't have parents who
Speaker 1: did it for them, right. You may have grew up
Speaker 1: with parents a mom, a busy mom, or a deadbeat mom,
Speaker 1: because they exist, you know, a busy dad, A dead
Speaker 1: be dead because they exist, right, And where you didn't
Speaker 1: get celebrated enough, maybe you were taught to believe, whether
Speaker 1: directly or indirectly, then no matter what you did, it
Speaker 1: was never good enough, right, it was never good enough,
Speaker 1: and that it had to or that it had to
Speaker 1: be perfect. And so you might have spent a lifetime
Speaker 1: or you know, your your whole life where everything has
Speaker 1: to be perfect before you can launch it, before you
Speaker 1: can anything right. But because perfection is not a thing,
Speaker 1: you're constantly striving for that therefore you never feel as
Speaker 1: though you can celebrate yourself. Reparenting is a very real
Speaker 1: thing that more women should take more seriously as a
Speaker 1: result of what they didn't have growing up. Just something
Speaker 1: to think about, right. So that, and especially if you
Speaker 1: are the type of woman who if you are the
Speaker 1: eldest daughter, there's a lot of unpacking there. I'm an
Speaker 1: eldest daughter, and you spend a lot of time taking
Speaker 1: care of everyone else and celebrating everyone else and everybody else,
Speaker 1: and you know, you're kind of I don't want to
Speaker 1: say cast to decide, but shit for some of us,
Speaker 1: cast to decide, right. I remember one time and granted
Speaker 1: you know, I have a great mom. She has her
Speaker 1: flies who doesn't And we've had our tifts over the years,
Speaker 1: but you know, I have a great mom. Nonetheless, she
Speaker 1: was a single mom. However, with all of us children
Speaker 1: driving her mud, rightfully, so driving her mud, we were
Speaker 1: fucking anyways, Let's just say I understand her better now
Speaker 1: that I do my own parenting. But I digress. One day,
Speaker 1: we're having a conversation and she said to me, I
Speaker 1: remember how long ago this was. It was some time ago,
Speaker 1: but she had said, you know, I one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why I never really worried about you, right because
Speaker 1: I left the host. I left the host actually at
Speaker 1: around sixteen. I'm MICHAELA. I always says seventeen, but when
Speaker 1: I really think about it, I had to be about sixteen.
Speaker 1: She said, you know, I knew you. I knew you
Speaker 1: were good, right, I knew you got you had it right, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty,
Speaker 1: twenty one, twenty two. Right, I know, I don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about you. It's your brothers who are fuck
Speaker 1: hads that which they are. It is your brothers that
Speaker 1: are fuck heads that I had to really keep my
Speaker 1: foot on and I remember saying to her, I wish
Speaker 1: you would have worried about me just a little bit more,
Speaker 1: And I kind of stopped her in her tracks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and even myself, I was surprised to hear it come
Speaker 1: out of my mouth, But I wish you would have
Speaker 1: because I wish everybody thinks like I got it right,
Speaker 1: because I am so self sufficient. I'm self sufficient because
Speaker 1: life at a very young age required me to do that.
Speaker 1: There were no other options. I didn't have time to
Speaker 1: be Let me tell you something, and this is you know,
Speaker 1: this is a little bit between you know, my mother
Speaker 1: was a very young mom. She was in a terribly
Speaker 1: abusive relationship. Then came my brothers from their father with
Speaker 1: their father, right, we don't share their sandfather, right, And
Speaker 1: so I spent a lot of my childhood there were
Speaker 1: no space for there were there wasn't a lot of
Speaker 1: space for my feelings, right. So I spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time having to be the strong kid because I
Speaker 1: had to fend for my brothers while my mom was
Speaker 1: trying to fend for herself and trying to escape, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to get all of us out the house safely.
Speaker 1: There's so many nights, man trying to get all of
Speaker 1: us out the house safely, trying to you know, coordinate
Speaker 1: this these frequent midnight escapes, you know. And so I
Speaker 1: knew at a very young age that the ship my
Speaker 1: mom was going through was bad, and so I spent
Speaker 1: I had to snap into responsibility mode, taking care of
Speaker 1: my brothers and taking care of my mom and however
Speaker 1: I could. This has stayed with me through my whole life,
Speaker 1: So taking time for myself to you know, yay, I
Speaker 1: learned how to whatever it was, like, Okay, next we
Speaker 1: got more important things to do. Not saying that my
Speaker 1: mom didn't celebrate me, I'm saying that for me, a
Speaker 1: lot of mine would have been should have been, would
Speaker 1: have should have been wins. I kind of downplayed them,
Speaker 1: if you will, right, And I know a lot of
Speaker 1: y'all do the same thing because you are my clients.
Speaker 1: I work with women every day, you know, the most
Speaker 1: over the years of doing this in my practice, the
Speaker 1: most common thread between the women that I work with
Speaker 1: are they are eldest daughters, and they are hyper independent.
Speaker 1: They don't feel safe even with themselves to even celebrate themselves,
Speaker 1: to even big up themselves, because they feel as though
Speaker 1: they always have to be onto the next thing. They
Speaker 1: don't have time. And this is why I say a
Speaker 1: big part of this learning how to celebrate your self shit,
Speaker 1: It has to do with reparenting yourself, you know, and
Speaker 1: really celebrating the small things because it allows yourself to
Speaker 1: build the courage and to keep building courage and to
Speaker 1: keep building I'm sorry, confidence, that's what it is. Sorry,
Speaker 1: maybe courage to but confident. Maybe somebody needed to hear
Speaker 1: that they needed some courage today. That's why that just
Speaker 1: flew out of my mouth. But confidence, right, I'm willing
Speaker 1: to bet that earlier in your brain damp if you
Speaker 1: did what told you to do. That there, when you
Speaker 1: think of celebration, stuff came up to you. You know,
Speaker 1: celebrate buying a home, celebrate someone's birthday, celebrate you know, uh,
Speaker 1: launching a business, Celebrate something along those lines, right, celebrating outcomes.
Speaker 1: But the issue is is that we overlook all the
Speaker 1: moments in between that lead us to those outcomes. Right,
Speaker 1: you would celebrate launching your business, for example, but if
Speaker 1: it wasn't for all the dedicated work you did, you
Speaker 1: and have a business to launch. So what about celebrating
Speaker 1: all those nights that you stayed up trying to figure
Speaker 1: out the missing pieces to your business puzzle, or all
Speaker 1: the times you said no to your homegirls to go
Speaker 1: out and turn up because you still had to map
Speaker 1: out the pieces to your business puzzle, right, so on
Speaker 1: and so forth. Do you know what I mean? It's
Speaker 1: it's deeper than just an outcome, right, It's deeper to
Speaker 1: just than just oh I crossed the finish line. It's
Speaker 1: it's something that we should normalize practicing as we practicing,
Speaker 1: as we we we go through our path. We walk
Speaker 1: our path, right, of course, we're trying to go somewhere.
Speaker 1: Every path we get on, it's because we want to
Speaker 1: go somewhere. Right, you want to go you you okay,
Speaker 1: you want to say for the hosts, for the down
Speaker 1: payment for the host So you walk that path of
Speaker 1: saving right, And maybe that path is four years, maybe
Speaker 1: its three years, maybe it's ten years. Go. I don't
Speaker 1: know what you do for a living, how much money
Speaker 1: you motherfuck make, but you know, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It can't just be that you just celebrate the destination.
Speaker 1: What about all the little winds that are actually big
Speaker 1: winds that are accumulating and compounding in between I've been
Speaker 1: talking a lot about effects of compounding, I think for
Speaker 1: the last couple of days. So you know, take heed right.
Speaker 1: If the only time you allow yourself to feel to
Speaker 1: feel proud of yourself is when you finally did the
Speaker 1: thing right, you finally made it, You're gonna spend a
Speaker 1: lot of time. You're gonna spend a lot of your
Speaker 1: life waiting to enjoy it for a small moment. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people struggle with happiness. This is
Speaker 1: just my This is just my theory. This is a
Speaker 1: Cynthia theory. It doesn't have to be a sent and
Speaker 1: Stone theory. However, I think a lot of the reason
Speaker 1: why people, especially women, struggle with happiness and what happiness is,
Speaker 1: and peace and all of these things is because they
Speaker 1: don't afford themselves or don't allow themselves to experience it
Speaker 1: in everyday moment. They wait, right, You guys are waiting
Speaker 1: for the big thing to happen before you can allow
Speaker 1: yourself to experience happiness. It's a shitty way to live,
Speaker 1: just saying, right. So I want to invite you to
Speaker 1: look at celebration right and emotional growth from a different
Speaker 1: point of view. Okay, what if today you realize that
Speaker 1: you kept a promise to yourself after years of constantly
Speaker 1: breaking that promise to yourself, and just like that, you
Speaker 1: did it. What if that was worth celebrating right now,
Speaker 1: however you feel like celebrating it, But what if that
Speaker 1: was worth making a big deal, because that is a
Speaker 1: big deal if you spent you know, I'm gonna we're
Speaker 1: going to use this as an example because a lot
Speaker 1: of women relate to it. If you had a stupid
Speaker 1: ass situationship, you don't know how I feel about that shit.
Speaker 1: But if you had a stupid ass situationship that went
Speaker 1: on for five years, and for five years, twice a week,
Speaker 1: you promised yourself, fuck it, this is the last time.
Speaker 1: I'm not answering this motherfucker's text. I'm not answering his phone,
Speaker 1: I'm blocking him. And for five years, twice a week,
Speaker 1: you broke that promise, right and today you said to yourself,
Speaker 1: fuck that, this is done. Enough is enough. I'm not
Speaker 1: answering that motherfucking tech, I'm not answering that phone called.
Speaker 1: Matter of fact, i'm blocking him, and you actually did it.
Speaker 1: You don't think that's what the celebration should I do.
Speaker 1: That's a big fucking deal. That's a big fucking deal,
Speaker 1: and you need to treat it as though it were
Speaker 1: a big deal, because it is. Because five years of
Speaker 1: doing this, breaking your promise to yourself, and then one
Speaker 1: day you finally keep your promise. Hey, that's a big
Speaker 1: motherfucking deal. Right. What if you some of you guys,
Speaker 1: you know, like I said, it could be the smallest
Speaker 1: of things, right, the smallest of things for my ladies
Speaker 1: that are disorganized. It's just a really sweet word we're
Speaker 1: using for ADHD people. But yay us No. But what
Speaker 1: if you have been needing to make a dentist appointment
Speaker 1: for the last two years, and today's the day you
Speaker 1: finally do it. You kept putting it off, putting it off,
Speaker 1: putting it off, put it off, and today you finally
Speaker 1: you face your fear, you face your anxiety, or you
Speaker 1: face your stress of picking the phone and just calling
Speaker 1: the fucking dentist office and saying, hi, my name is
Speaker 1: so on and so forth, and I would like to
Speaker 1: make an appointment place right, And the secretary is like, sure,
Speaker 1: no problem, Katie, I can put you in at this
Speaker 1: time of this time. And then you hang up and
Speaker 1: you realize, hey, that wasn't scary at all. I did
Speaker 1: the damn thing, go me, and then you write it
Speaker 1: down right away, right away. You must write it down
Speaker 1: before you forget right. That's a big deal for you.
Speaker 1: For somebody else, sure, it's not a big deal. For
Speaker 1: somebody who is an organized on top of their ship
Speaker 1: person who you know, that's not a big deal. They
Speaker 1: got their their calendar, it's color coded, they know where everything's,
Speaker 1: the place where everything and everything is placed, and they're
Speaker 1: they're you know, that's not a big deal. For you,
Speaker 1: that's a huge deal. Yesterday I spoke about the importance
Speaker 1: of knowing who you are, right, knowing who you are,
Speaker 1: and to stop trying to work against that. So if
Speaker 1: you know that you are somebody who typically puts things up,
Speaker 1: and then today you finally did that ship for yourself,
Speaker 1: that is something worth celebrating, right something we're celebrating something
Speaker 1: worth big enough, right Maybe you learned to Maybe you're
Speaker 1: somebody who always orders uber eat because it can't be
Speaker 1: bought at I get a girl. I used to be there.
Speaker 1: I used to order I don't even wanna I used to.
Speaker 1: I used to, especially when I was single. Actually, when
Speaker 1: Duayne and I first got together. One thing you told me,
Speaker 1: I think six months into our relationship. He was like, bbe,
Speaker 1: you got to stop ordering uber eats like you're high.
Speaker 1: You have to stop ordering uber ets like you're high,
Speaker 1: because I would. And you know, my ordering food was
Speaker 1: connected to my emotional eating situation at that time too.
Speaker 1: But boy, oh boy, And I'm a type of person.
Speaker 1: I like to eat a little bit of everything. I
Speaker 1: like to taste a little bit of everything. You know,
Speaker 1: It's just I'm just that person. So I understand. I
Speaker 1: used to have a terrible relationship with uber Eats. I
Speaker 1: spend so much money on uberts. It was discussing and
Speaker 1: then that stopped, and you know, we were cooking more
Speaker 1: and was cooking more, and then we were taking turns cooking,
Speaker 1: and then we had hired a meal prep service and
Speaker 1: that has changed life dramatically in the best ways, the
Speaker 1: best type of dramatic that you can fucking think of,
Speaker 1: because I'm gona do something. One thing about being and
Speaker 1: one of the most annoying things about being in a
Speaker 1: healthy relationship is every day asking so what are we
Speaker 1: going to eat? I sort of oh or I hate
Speaker 1: that question. It's every time, what are we gonna eat.
Speaker 1: I don't know what do you feel like eating? I
Speaker 1: don't know what do you feel like eating? What you
Speaker 1: feel like eating? What do you feel like eating? What
Speaker 1: are we gonna eat? What do you want to cook? Oh?
Speaker 1: My god, every fucking day? Good take it anymore? Just
Speaker 1: who cares? Eat this pickle with some hot cheetos and
Speaker 1: a slice of cheese and crackers. There is your fucking
Speaker 1: girl dinner. Okay, God, anyways, I digress, but you should
Speaker 1: try that though. This is what you do. You're gonna
Speaker 1: take so I don't digress right away. Hold on, this
Speaker 1: is what you're gonna do. You're gonna take a pickle.
Speaker 1: Listen to me. Take a pickle. You can cut it
Speaker 1: in half, not slice it, not not slice it so
Speaker 1: that it's like two thick pieces. You're gonna cut it
Speaker 1: in halfs and so you can still hold it right.
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm thing. And then you are going to
Speaker 1: take a knife and you're gonna cut a little hole
Speaker 1: right clear out the middle, just a hole in the middle.
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna take two hot cheetos. Please listen
Speaker 1: to me, two hot cheetos, and you're gonna put them
Speaker 1: in the middle of the pickle. And then you're gonna
Speaker 1: take some cheese. I don't care what fucking type of
Speaker 1: cheese it is personally, personally, I like the baby Bell cheeses. Personally,
Speaker 1: I'm a baby Bell person. Take some cheese. This also
Speaker 1: works with breed too, It's really good with breed. Anyways,
Speaker 1: take some cheese and take two crackers. You can take
Speaker 1: the salt crackers, regular saline crack, saltine what is it called?
Speaker 1: You know the motherfucking ones in the red box that
Speaker 1: you have tomato soup that one, or you can bump
Speaker 1: it up and get some wheat thins. Anyways, and then
Speaker 1: you're gonna take a bite. You're gonna take a bite
Speaker 1: of the pickle with the hot cheese Cheetos in it.
Speaker 1: You're also gonna take a bite of the This has
Speaker 1: to be all at the same time. Bite the pickle
Speaker 1: with the hot cheet does in it, bite of the
Speaker 1: baby Bell cheese, bite of the cracker, Thank me later, girl, dinner,
Speaker 1: all right, that's what you're gonna do. Anyways, I digress.
Speaker 1: So maybe you have stopped ordering Uber eats and you've
Speaker 1: learned to either make dinners for yourself or hire a
Speaker 1: meal prep service. To make your life easier. That is
Speaker 1: a win. That is a win celebrated. All right, maybe
Speaker 1: it is day one of therapy after years of you
Speaker 1: really think, I don't ne therapy, anti therapy, at need therapy.
Speaker 1: I't need therapy, bitch, you need some therapy. Okay, it'd
Speaker 1: be the motherfuckers who I don't need therapy. I don't
Speaker 1: need it, I don't know. No, you need it the most.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing where you know how some parents
Speaker 1: not my not my little Kenny. Yes, especially your little
Speaker 1: motherfucking Kenny is especially your kid. Right. And so finally,
Speaker 1: after years of you saying you don't need this shit,
Speaker 1: you sign yourself up and you are sitting in the
Speaker 1: office or or waiting for the sitting in the virtual
Speaker 1: zoom office. That's a win, right, signing up for coaching,
Speaker 1: well win right. Finally hiring the people who can help you,
Speaker 1: Finally saying to yourself admitting that you do need some help,
Speaker 1: that you know you can't do everything on your own.
Speaker 1: You can, but it's burning you out. You are exhausted,
Speaker 1: you are a shell of yourself. As a result of it,
Speaker 1: you are not having fun in life as a result
Speaker 1: of it. You're never having any fun time. You are
Speaker 1: a miserable bitch because of it. These are real things, right,
Speaker 1: You were over extending yourself. You have too much on
Speaker 1: your plate that you know. Right, Maybe it's finally admitting
Speaker 1: to yourself, you know what, I need some help. Let
Speaker 1: me hire the people, Let me build a team for myself,
Speaker 1: Let me build a team. Was talking about this with
Speaker 1: my client not too long ago, you know. She A
Speaker 1: lot of my clients were, but they had they build
Speaker 1: a team for themselves. They have their therapists, They have
Speaker 1: me as their advisor. Some of them also have spiritual advisors.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I double as that for them. I double as
Speaker 1: their coach and their spiritual advisor. They have their personal trainers,
Speaker 1: they listen to me. They have a board of directors,
Speaker 1: a board of advisors, a board of helpers to help
Speaker 1: keep them on track, to help keep them grounded. Ain't
Speaker 1: nothing fucking wrong with that. But that is a win.
Speaker 1: Celebrate that shit. Right. Maybe you are somebody who has
Speaker 1: been having and this is this one's going to hit
Speaker 1: close to home to me because I know what it's like.
Speaker 1: You are been struggling with your fitness journey for years, right,
Speaker 1: and maybe today you did your first four thousand steps.
Speaker 1: That's a win. Celebrate that shit, right, don't you know?
Speaker 1: Maybe take your first four thousand steps and then work
Speaker 1: your way up. Every day add you make a little
Speaker 1: game of yourself, make at yourself a little motherfucking challenge,
Speaker 1: and every day add an extra two hundred steps on
Speaker 1: that motherfucker until you get to whatever your goal is.
Speaker 1: You want it to be eight thousand, eight thousand steps,
Speaker 1: you wanted to get ten thousand and ten thousand steps.
Speaker 1: The point is we're not celebrating the steps, or celebrate you,
Speaker 1: celebrating you moving your body more than you have in
Speaker 1: the last fill in the blank years. That's it. That's
Speaker 1: really motherfucking it. That's how it starts. You see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Maybe it is laughing. Maybe you're somebody who
Speaker 1: always feels as though you have a point to prove, right,
Speaker 1: You always have to have the last motherfucking word. You
Speaker 1: always have to, you know, double down on something, you
Speaker 1: always have to write. Maybe you are somebody who's been
Speaker 1: living in that space for a very long time, and
Speaker 1: you started realizing, through your inner work, through your shadow work,
Speaker 1: that actually that doing that is stressing you out a
Speaker 1: lot more than perhaps just letting the shit go. Right
Speaker 1: yesterday we spoke about peace. Maybe you've realized that you
Speaker 1: have been participate painting and robbing yourself of your piece
Speaker 1: by constantly having to say something else. I then, at
Speaker 1: the last word, prove the point whatever the kiss saying be.
Speaker 1: Perhaps you started realizing, through your shadow work, through your
Speaker 1: inner work, that I actually know. If I know that
Speaker 1: two plus two equals four and someone wants to sit
Speaker 1: down in front of me and talk about some no
Speaker 1: it doesn't it equals twenty four twenty seven, I could
Speaker 1: just let them have it. All right, you got it? Go?
Speaker 1: Be great with that? Right? Fuck? Am I arguing with you? For?
Speaker 1: I'm not? But what point do you have to prove?
Speaker 1: I don't have to get out my calculator and be look,
Speaker 1: two plus two equals to it? If you if you
Speaker 1: really can stand there dead da in my face and
Speaker 1: say two plus two equals a twenty seven? Yoh man,
Speaker 1: well we can have it. We can have it. Go
Speaker 1: go and be great? Right? What am I arguing with
Speaker 1: you for? Argument with you? For? This is part of
Speaker 1: the reason why I don't argue with men, Right, I
Speaker 1: don't argue with men. I don't know because because why
Speaker 1: exert myself. It's just gonna stress me more than anything else.
Speaker 1: Why am I arguing with you? You're a fucking idiot,
Speaker 1: right right, most of the men who are trying to
Speaker 1: pick arguments, especially online, you're a fucking Dodo brainman. All right,
Speaker 1: my fucking arguing with you? And why would I argue
Speaker 1: with a fool? But now onlookers don't know who's who?
Speaker 1: Mm hm, I get the fuck out of here, right,
Speaker 1: So maybe you have learned, finally, finally it's been to
Speaker 1: you to just be like, all right, you got it.
Speaker 1: I don't need to point to prove. And you realize
Speaker 1: that one day you're like, oh my god, I didn't
Speaker 1: do that, big up myself and you throw yourself a
Speaker 1: look a party about that, because that's growth. That is key,
Speaker 1: emotional growth. Right. So so I say all that, I
Speaker 1: give all these these examples to show you that celebrating
Speaker 1: yourself one is important and two it's not only about
Speaker 1: the end game. You gotta celebrate your steps around along
Speaker 1: the way. Imagine you have a baby. Just imagine imagine
Speaker 1: you have a baby. Some of you guys are like,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. I don't want imagine that have a baby.
Speaker 1: I don't want any fucking kids, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: You're right, you're right, you're right. So just imagine there's
Speaker 1: a baby, just okay, just humor me here, stay with
Speaker 1: me for a second. And the baby starts to crawl.
Speaker 1: You don't say nothing. The baby stands up for the
Speaker 1: first time after having you know, trial and learning, trial
Speaker 1: and learning, trial and falling on its diaper. You're saying nothing.
Speaker 1: The only time you celebrate the baby is when the
Speaker 1: baby starts to walk. You're a terrible parent. You're a terrible,
Speaker 1: terrible parent. Right, that's not what we do. The baby
Speaker 1: starts to crawl for the first time. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's crawling. Yeah, go go, go baby, go baby. It's
Speaker 1: your birthday. Go baby, right the baby. The baby stands
Speaker 1: without falling. Oh my god, yeah, you stood for three seconds,
Speaker 1: four seconds, five seconds until two two he's standing without
Speaker 1: holding anything, just standing by himself, a little child of
Speaker 1: the corn right, just stand. I would say that because
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I don't know if those are us have
Speaker 1: for those of YOA have kids, small children, but the
Speaker 1: way that they be comeing into your room at night
Speaker 1: and just staring at you is you wake up to
Speaker 1: your kid just staring at you having already ready like,
Speaker 1: what the what? Stop doing that? Just I can't sleep. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll say something. Don't just stand there fucking children of
Speaker 1: the corn anyways. That digress right. Then they walk and
Speaker 1: then you celebrate that. You don't just celebrate the walk
Speaker 1: the final stage. I got to think of yourself as
Speaker 1: a baby sometimes. Man. I know I'm always telling you
Speaker 1: all to grow up and put on your big girl panties.
Speaker 1: But discern in here, right, you got to know when
Speaker 1: to You got to know when to ebb and flowing between. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I say a baby is in the beginner
Speaker 1: stages where you were. Celebrations are a must for the
Speaker 1: smallest of things because it matter to you, you know,
Speaker 1: because it means you're growing. It means you're growing. It
Speaker 1: means you are moving further and further away from the
Speaker 1: girl you used to be and you're stepping into the
Speaker 1: woman that you said that you wanted to become. It's
Speaker 1: acknowledging that, it's acknowledging that you know you are learning.
Speaker 1: You're actually learning for once in your life in the
Speaker 1: sense where if you know you've been trying to do
Speaker 1: the same thing or you've been saying you've been wanting
Speaker 1: to do the same thing for how many years now,
Speaker 1: but you haven't done it, or you haven't you know,
Speaker 1: put yourself in the position to learn it, and now
Speaker 1: you are learning it. That's a big deal, you know,
Speaker 1: it's all. It's also showing you that you didn't give
Speaker 1: up on yourself. It's acknowledging that you didn't give up
Speaker 1: on yourself and you know you're still going and you're
Speaker 1: you're taking the steps. It's a big deal, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I say this to you as
Speaker 1: I say to myself too, because obviously, like I said,
Speaker 1: I have a habit of blowing past, blowing through my big,
Speaker 1: small medium winds and just you know, on to the
Speaker 1: next one, fucking jay Z and this motherfucker. And no,
Speaker 1: sometimes I need to sit with myself too and get
Speaker 1: myself a cookie, you know, give myself a cookie. Right.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to give you that today. Maybe
Speaker 1: not maybe obviously some of y'all, most of y'all needed
Speaker 1: to hear that. And I really do hope that it
Speaker 1: helped you in some way, shape or form. You know,
Speaker 1: if nothing else, child was food for thought. Just make
Speaker 1: sure you finish your plate so you can go be great. Okay,
Speaker 1: Please do your due diligence. Your inner work is your responsibility.
Speaker 1: Your shadow work is your responsibility. Participate in it so
Speaker 1: you know whatever you're doing right now? While are you
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast episode later on when you get
Speaker 1: home or whatever, you have time, run it back, grab
Speaker 1: your journal, pause the episode whenever I say something that
Speaker 1: triggers you in whichever way it does, and follow your
Speaker 1: trigger to your wound, do some journaling around it, right,
Speaker 1: Be an active participant in your own inner work, right okay?
Speaker 1: And if you need further help with that, and you
Speaker 1: would like to book an advisory session with me, you
Speaker 1: can do that. The link is in the show notes.
Speaker 1: And is there something else I have to tell you, guys? No,
Speaker 1: I have nothing else to say. This is where I
Speaker 1: will love you and leave you ladies. I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 1: I hope you have a good rest of your morning's
Speaker 1: evenings afternoons wherever you are in the world, Please be
Speaker 1: safe and until the next message of the day, go
Speaker 1: make the day work for you. I got thank for
Speaker 1: the spot.
Speaker 2: You got Your eyes shall be one cool it all fun,
Speaker 2: honest
Speaker 1: You honest