Speaker 1: Caloroga Shock Media. Hey there, I'm Johnny Mack with your
Speaker 1: daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy,
Speaker 1: comedians and the comedy industry. Rob Schneider has jumped on
Speaker 1: social media to clarify his comments about the mandatory draft.
Speaker 1: He posted, you are missing the point. Missing the point
Speaker 1: in all caps Schneider's theory if nobody is exempt from
Speaker 1: military service, then poor and wealthy families alike would have
Speaker 1: a shared military connection. Don't worry, Rob, someone will be exempt,
Speaker 1: and it won't be the poor. Schneider said Congress would
Speaker 1: think long and hard before sending American troops into another
Speaker 1: far away war that isn't vital to our national survival.
Speaker 1: Rob Rob, Robert, Rob, Rob, Rob. Are you paying attention
Speaker 1: to the news. Do you think Congress does anything about anything?
Speaker 1: Do you think Congress isn't going to have figured out
Speaker 1: a way so their kids don't have to go? Come on, man,
Speaker 1: Rob said, no more cavalier decisions, No more other people's
Speaker 1: kids dying while their own kids stay safe at Ivy
Speaker 1: League schools or in Beverly Hills. Schneider said, then the
Speaker 1: nation might stop treating itinst the military like disposable chess pieces.
Speaker 1: I'm with you there, Rob, but uh yeah, let me
Speaker 1: know when Congress does anything. John Stewart ripped into the
Speaker 1: President of the United States. Not over the war, No,
Speaker 1: John Stuart was more interested in the White House ballroom project,
Speaker 1: which it seems increasingly clear is just a cover story
Speaker 1: for a new bunker being built. The New York Times
Speaker 1: had reported over the weekend that designs for the ballroom
Speaker 1: show fake windows on the north side and columns that
Speaker 1: would block the interior ballroom view. There's also a grand
Speaker 1: staircase that does not lead to an entrance. John Stewart
Speaker 1: on The Daily Show said, okay, woke New York Times.
Speaker 1: When mc escher does that, it's art. Well, but you
Speaker 1: put it on an actual building and suddenly it's this
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense, and I appear to be trapped
Speaker 1: if you ours. After the Times report, President Trump spoke
Speaker 1: to the press. He was on Air Force One reporters,
Speaker 1: I'm fighting wars and other things, but this is very
Speaker 1: important because this is going to be with us for
Speaker 1: a long time, and I think it'll be the greatest
Speaker 1: ballroom anywhere in the world. John Stewart responded to that
Speaker 1: and said for the ballroom, Trump will put in an
Speaker 1: all nighter for a point by point rebuttal, but for
Speaker 1: the war, he literally doesn't have the focused answer one question.
Speaker 1: White House Press Secretary Carolyn Livett said, President Trump and
Speaker 1: his lead architect have built world class buildings around the world,
Speaker 1: and they're ensuring the People's House finally as a beautiful
Speaker 1: ballroom that's been needed for decades at no expense to
Speaker 1: the tax payer. Remember that last part there, Whitney Cummings,
Speaker 1: she's getting political. She was guest hosting the view. She
Speaker 1: was discussing how FBI Director Cash Bettel's emails had been leaked.
Speaker 1: She said, I mean, if Cash wanted his emails not
Speaker 1: to get released, he should have just c sed Jeffrey
Speaker 1: Epstein on them. That is a great line and a
Speaker 1: great point. Moving away from politics. Finally, John Billboard has
Speaker 1: published the February box Score Report to see who the
Speaker 1: top touring comedians were for February twenty twenty six. Do
Speaker 1: you want to guess? Yes, you were correct? Number one
Speaker 1: again Naprighatzy. He has led for six of the last
Speaker 1: seven months. The only month he wasn't number one was
Speaker 1: in December when John Mulaney took the crown number two,
Speaker 1: Joe Coy three, Cant Williams four, Bert Kreischer five, Jim Gaffigan.
Speaker 1: Andrew Schultz, who once appeared in the headline in the
Speaker 1: New York Times June twenty third, twenty twenty five, Andrew
Speaker 1: Schultz might be America's foremost political journalist. That's right, The
Speaker 1: New York Times said, Andrew Schultz might be America's foremost
Speaker 1: political journalist. This is a real thing that happened in
Speaker 1: the New York Times. It's I know you're like John,
Speaker 1: It's April Fool's Day. No one is gonna believe that's
Speaker 1: the story that appeared in the New York Times. They're
Speaker 1: not crazy. No, I'm telling you this is not an
Speaker 1: April Fools joke. On June twenty third, twenty twenty five,
Speaker 1: they wrote the headline, Andrew Schultz might be America's foremost
Speaker 1: political journalist. He also, I'll add, might be America's foremost actor.
Speaker 1: That's right. He's going to appear in a new film.
Speaker 1: It's called Clashing through the Snow. It's described as planes, trains,
Speaker 1: and automobiles for the gen Z generation. It centers on
Speaker 1: two rival coworkers at a book publisher who are forced
Speaker 1: to travel cross country when bad weather grounds all available flights.
Speaker 1: They should just rewrite this and say the TSA lines
Speaker 1: are fourteen hours long, and they decide to drive now. Yes.
Speaker 1: Andrew Schultz, possibly America's greatest political journalist, will play Walder,
Speaker 1: a janitor with a close personal connection to the character
Speaker 1: played by Christopher Briney, who is a type A commerce
Speaker 1: focused editor. Zarni Guard plays Gail, whose unexpected god in
Speaker 1: steers a character played by Michelle Randolph, a creative, freethinking
Speaker 1: editor in a pivotal direction during the trip sounds very complicated.
Speaker 1: Can't wait for it? Mack Packer Andy Samberg. He will
Speaker 1: start in forty two point six Years, a romantic comedy.
Speaker 1: Samberg was originally going to star opposite Gene Smart. Gene
Speaker 1: has now pulled out of it and has been replaced
Speaker 1: by five time Oscar nominee Annette Benning. In forty two
Speaker 1: point six Years, we follow ben played by Mack Packer
Speaker 1: Andy Samberg, who, after an experimental procedure leaves him cryogenically
Speaker 1: frozen for forty two point six years, sets out to
Speaker 1: reconnect with his ex girlfriend played by Anette Benning. He
Speaker 1: has an age today. She's lived an entire lifetime without him.
Speaker 1: John mulaney was a guest on The Late Show with
Speaker 1: star Trek Ruin or Stephen Colbert. Laney told a story
Speaker 1: about visiting Graceland. As the story goes, John mulaney says,
Speaker 1: his son, Malcolm, who's four, is a huge fan of
Speaker 1: Elvis Presley, because of course he is. John said, and
Speaker 1: I said to him, do you want to get a
Speaker 1: tour of Elvis's house? And he was like, elvis House awesome.
Speaker 1: Laney says, we're walking through, and the guy goes, we're
Speaker 1: gonna show you some special spots because you're performing here
Speaker 1: at Graceland. My son goes, I want to go on
Speaker 1: the roof. They weren't able to visit the roof. However,
Speaker 1: they were able to visit Elvis's jungle room. Malaney said,
Speaker 1: we're looking around and Malcolm goes, Dad, can I meet
Speaker 1: Elvis now? And it never come up. While listening to
Speaker 1: hound Dog, you don't go, son, you know this guy's dead.
Speaker 1: Right then I realized all his grandparents aren't alive, and
Speaker 1: he's never had a goldfish, and he doesn't know he's
Speaker 1: about to find out in the jungle room at Graceland
Speaker 1: that everybody dies. Laney explained to his son, Elvis is
Speaker 1: in heaven now. His son said, why. John Mulaney, as
Speaker 1: he tells the story, said, sometimes when people are in
Speaker 1: their early forties and they have a job at a
Speaker 1: schedule a lot like daddy, and some of the same
Speaker 1: issues as Daddy, they go to the bathroom and they
Speaker 1: go to heaven. Wow, that's pretty good. Eddie Murphy winner
Speaker 1: of the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award. Well Netflix
Speaker 1: will televise the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award, a
Speaker 1: Tribute to Eddie Murphy on Netflix May thirty first. The
Speaker 1: award will be presented to Eddie Murphy in LA on
Speaker 1: April eighteenth. According to the AFI, Eddie Murphy is the
Speaker 1: most commercially successful African American actor in the history of
Speaker 1: the motion picture business and as one of the industry's
Speaker 1: top five box office performers overall. W Camal Bell, Melissa
Speaker 1: Via Signor, and Joel Kim Booster are going to perform
Speaker 1: in San Francisco. They'll be at the Immigration Institute of
Speaker 1: the Bay Area hosting the tenth annual Comedy Night for
Speaker 1: immigrant rights. April thirtieth is that event Want of Pikes
Speaker 1: was on Charlemagne, the God. Charlemagne said, the thing I
Speaker 1: used to love about the Chris Rock Show, it was
Speaker 1: just full of uncomfortable truths. Even that whole era was
Speaker 1: full of uncomfortable truths. Right, do you think comedy's still
Speaker 1: a ought to be that honest? Are we in an
Speaker 1: era now where everybody wants jokes but they don't want
Speaker 1: the truth that comes with it. Wanta said, no, you
Speaker 1: know what, I think You're allowed to do it, but
Speaker 1: it's just who wants to do it. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. If I'm trying to fill an arena, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, you can't be that common. You
Speaker 1: gotta appeal to the masses. And sometimes right now with
Speaker 1: the masses want to hear it's ugly, you know, want
Speaker 1: to continue it to a lot of people like to
Speaker 1: be the critic. They want to be the police. It's like,
Speaker 1: if you say something it might offend you, but you
Speaker 1: got to look at where that person's coming from. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe their life, their perspective is different from what you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're offended, You're not standing in my shoes you don't
Speaker 1: see it from my perspective, so I think that's what
Speaker 1: we've gotten away from. I always try to punch up,
Speaker 1: but that's me. However, she said, if you punch down
Speaker 1: and it's funny, I'm gonna laugh. Apparently, the Shepherd Express
Speaker 1: is your home for comedy news. We've got back to
Speaker 1: back stories from The Shepherd Express. In story number one,
Speaker 1: they caught up with Maria Bamford. She said, I think
Speaker 1: I have a trimmer and it makes everything seem like
Speaker 1: I'm nervous. But I don't feel nervous. I just look
Speaker 1: like I'm afraid. Bamford said, I need to entertain myself,
Speaker 1: so that's a shell just keep myself from being bored.
Speaker 1: She also added, my friendship with my sister. I stopped
Speaker 1: doing jokes about her and now we're best friends. Next thing,
Speaker 1: Maria Bamford would love to accomplish. I'd love to be
Speaker 1: on a TV show for five lines a week in
Speaker 1: a wig. Meanwhile, Jackie Kashin also caught up with these
Speaker 1: Shepherd Express. Jackie said growing up she wasn't thinking of
Speaker 1: being a comedian. She said, I wanted to act. I
Speaker 1: think I certainly played a lot of what a FUNSI
Speaker 1: was on the Starship Enterprise and acted out of all
Speaker 1: the parts I'd watch that, I vaguely remember answering that
Speaker 1: I wanted to be a lawyer or a teacher of
Speaker 1: Forrest Ranger. When asked, I went to UW. Madison. There
Speaker 1: was a comedy club. We went to it. I went
Speaker 1: to open Mic three weeks after seeing the show, and
Speaker 1: I was hooked. I don't know how to explain it,
Speaker 1: but it felt like I was looking for stand up forever.
Speaker 1: She recalls a night in nineteen eighty four she went
Speaker 1: to a Madison comedy club, got drunk, heckled the comedian
Speaker 1: on stage, and he couldn't shut me up, and sally
Speaker 1: for the rest of the audience. I wasn't kicked out.
Speaker 1: The club manager came over and said, open Mic is
Speaker 1: on Sundays now, will you shut up? And I did.
Speaker 1: The comic guy heckled Sam Kennison. How could Sam Kinnison
Speaker 1: not shut you down? That seems hard to believe. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna pull up. That seems hard to believe that
Speaker 1: Sam Kinnison couldn't slam a heckler. Jackie said, comedy right now,
Speaker 1: it's crazy out in the world and there are two
Speaker 1: kinds of comedy. I like seeing now very open about
Speaker 1: the things we're all living through, mostly to relieve the
Speaker 1: pressure and to make people know they aren't alone a crazy.
Speaker 1: The other kind of comedy is just normal, driving, family,
Speaker 1: food and relationship material, which is the kind of fun
Speaker 1: comedy you just keep writing to matter what the situation. TJ.
Speaker 1: Miller keeps talking about the next Deadpool film. I think
Speaker 1: he wants to get back into that franchise. Supposedly, Ryan
Speaker 1: Reynolds told TJ Miller about it. TJ said, I'll say
Speaker 1: his idea for the next Deadpool film is like really good.
Speaker 1: You know, it's really smart. He told me the idea.
Speaker 1: I kind of got hair on the back of my
Speaker 1: neck standing up because I was just like, I didn't
Speaker 1: think you could do something that's even more different than
Speaker 1: Deadpool and Wolverine. I don't know what's gonna happen, because
Speaker 1: he's got a couple other projects going. I mean, I
Speaker 1: always liked him and I always thought he's the funniest.
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you gonna say, hey, Ryan, that's
Speaker 1: a terrible idea. I hate your idea for the Deadpool movie.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be at it, DJ said, Ryan
Speaker 1: is really a powerhouse in terms of the comedy and
Speaker 1: specifically Deadpool. He's coming to be a real friend and
Speaker 1: he's at our back and I've tried to have his
Speaker 1: because I mean, the Internet is just such an evil,
Speaker 1: cruel place, so despicable. And let's see what's happening in Melbourne.
Speaker 1: So I have to work a day ahead for you
Speaker 1: Americans because the listener's down Under by the time they
Speaker 1: get the show. If I'm not wearing a day ahead,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, yeah, thanks John. That show started
Speaker 1: at thirty minutes ago. So Thursday at eleven thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning, it's the Class Clowns National Grand Final. Who
Speaker 1: will be crowned Australia's funniest high school I like this
Speaker 1: a month long search for the country's brightest young comedy talent.
Speaker 1: Class Clowns is a national secondary school comedy competition inviting
Speaker 1: young people to unleash their creative talents through stand up, sketch,
Speaker 1: musical comedy or physical performance. And then if you'll need
Speaker 1: something at night, how about six pm good time for show.
Speaker 1: We can see a show and go home and go
Speaker 1: to bed. That's great. It's Australia's Funniest Lawyers, featuring a
Speaker 1: lineup of criminal prosecutors, barristers, government regulators and corporate solicitors who,
Speaker 1: as you could tell, are the funniest people of the world.
Speaker 1: With those jobs, we are teld the lawyers turn comedians
Speaker 1: in this lineup of one and been nominated for numerous
Speaker 1: prestigious festival awards, appeared on TV, and have sold out
Speaker 1: festival shows nationally and internationally. That's right, it's America's Funniest Lawyers.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, Comedy Survivor forgot to tell you. It looks
Speaker 1: like Sebastian Maniscalco is in massive, massive trouble. As I've
Speaker 1: been skiving the Facebook group, looks like he's going to go.
Speaker 1: So if you're like, well, I want to save a
Speaker 1: Sebastian Maniscalco, I would get about twelve of your friends
Speaker 1: to vote for somebody else. But whoever you guys want
Speaker 1: to vote it off is fine with me. What you
Speaker 1: do is you go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy
Speaker 1: News Podcast group and you'll find the little drawing there
Speaker 1: and you'll see a bunch of people have written the
Speaker 1: words Sebastian and Maniscalco. And then you and your twelve
Speaker 1: friends are going to want to jump in there and
Speaker 1: write down some other name. And that is your comedy
Speaker 1: news for today, See tomorrow.