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<v Speaker 1>Caloroga Shock Media. Hey there, I'm Johnny Mack with your

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<v Speaker 1>daily Comedy News, a daily briefing on stand up comedy,

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<v Speaker 1>comedians and the comedy industry. Rob Schneider has jumped on

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<v Speaker 1>social media to clarify his comments about the mandatory draft.

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<v Speaker 1>He posted, you are missing the point. Missing the point

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<v Speaker 1>in all caps Schneider's theory if nobody is exempt from

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<v Speaker 1>military service, then poor and wealthy families alike would have

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<v Speaker 1>a shared military connection. Don't worry, Rob, someone will be exempt,

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<v Speaker 1>and it won't be the poor. Schneider said Congress would

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<v Speaker 1>think long and hard before sending American troops into another

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<v Speaker 1>far away war that isn't vital to our national survival.

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<v Speaker 1>Rob Rob, Robert, Rob, Rob, Rob. Are you paying attention

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<v Speaker 1>to the news. Do you think Congress does anything about anything?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think Congress isn't going to have figured out

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<v Speaker 1>a way so their kids don't have to go? Come on, man,

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<v Speaker 1>Rob said, no more cavalier decisions, No more other people's

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<v Speaker 1>kids dying while their own kids stay safe at Ivy

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<v Speaker 1>League schools or in Beverly Hills. Schneider said, then the

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<v Speaker 1>nation might stop treating itinst the military like disposable chess pieces.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm with you there, Rob, but uh yeah, let me

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<v Speaker 1>know when Congress does anything. John Stewart ripped into the

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<v Speaker 1>President of the United States. Not over the war, No,

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<v Speaker 1>John Stuart was more interested in the White House ballroom project,

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<v Speaker 1>which it seems increasingly clear is just a cover story

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<v Speaker 1>for a new bunker being built. The New York Times

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<v Speaker 1>had reported over the weekend that designs for the ballroom

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<v Speaker 1>show fake windows on the north side and columns that

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<v Speaker 1>would block the interior ballroom view. There's also a grand

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<v Speaker 1>staircase that does not lead to an entrance. John Stewart

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<v Speaker 1>on The Daily Show said, okay, woke New York Times.

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<v Speaker 1>When mc escher does that, it's art. Well, but you

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<v Speaker 1>put it on an actual building and suddenly it's this

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't make any sense, and I appear to be trapped

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<v Speaker 1>if you ours. After the Times report, President Trump spoke

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<v Speaker 1>to the press. He was on Air Force One reporters,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fighting wars and other things, but this is very

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<v Speaker 1>important because this is going to be with us for

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<v Speaker 1>a long time, and I think it'll be the greatest

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<v Speaker 1>ballroom anywhere in the world. John Stewart responded to that

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<v Speaker 1>and said for the ballroom, Trump will put in an

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<v Speaker 1>all nighter for a point by point rebuttal, but for

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<v Speaker 1>the war, he literally doesn't have the focused answer one question.

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<v Speaker 1>White House Press Secretary Carolyn Livett said, President Trump and

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<v Speaker 1>his lead architect have built world class buildings around the world,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're ensuring the People's House finally as a beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>ballroom that's been needed for decades at no expense to

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<v Speaker 1>the tax payer. Remember that last part there, Whitney Cummings,

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<v Speaker 1>she's getting political. She was guest hosting the view. She

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<v Speaker 1>was discussing how FBI Director Cash Bettel's emails had been leaked.

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<v Speaker 1>She said, I mean, if Cash wanted his emails not

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<v Speaker 1>to get released, he should have just c sed Jeffrey

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<v Speaker 1>Epstein on them. That is a great line and a

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<v Speaker 1>great point. Moving away from politics. Finally, John Billboard has

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<v Speaker 1>published the February box Score Report to see who the

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<v Speaker 1>top touring comedians were for February twenty twenty six. Do

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<v Speaker 1>you want to guess? Yes, you were correct? Number one

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<v Speaker 1>again Naprighatzy. He has led for six of the last

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<v Speaker 1>seven months. The only month he wasn't number one was

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<v Speaker 1>in December when John Mulaney took the crown number two,

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<v Speaker 1>Joe Coy three, Cant Williams four, Bert Kreischer five, Jim Gaffigan.

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<v Speaker 1>Andrew Schultz, who once appeared in the headline in the

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<v Speaker 1>New York Times June twenty third, twenty twenty five, Andrew

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<v Speaker 1>Schultz might be America's foremost political journalist. That's right, The

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<v Speaker 1>New York Times said, Andrew Schultz might be America's foremost

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<v Speaker 1>political journalist. This is a real thing that happened in

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<v Speaker 1>the New York Times. It's I know you're like John,

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<v Speaker 1>It's April Fool's Day. No one is gonna believe that's

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<v Speaker 1>the story that appeared in the New York Times. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not crazy. No, I'm telling you this is not an

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<v Speaker 1>April Fools joke. On June twenty third, twenty twenty five,

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<v Speaker 1>they wrote the headline, Andrew Schultz might be America's foremost

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<v Speaker 1>political journalist. He also, I'll add, might be America's foremost actor.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. He's going to appear in a new film.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called Clashing through the Snow. It's described as planes, trains,

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<v Speaker 1>and automobiles for the gen Z generation. It centers on

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<v Speaker 1>two rival coworkers at a book publisher who are forced

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<v Speaker 1>to travel cross country when bad weather grounds all available flights.

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<v Speaker 1>They should just rewrite this and say the TSA lines

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<v Speaker 1>are fourteen hours long, and they decide to drive now. Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Andrew Schultz, possibly America's greatest political journalist, will play Walder,

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<v Speaker 1>a janitor with a close personal connection to the character

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<v Speaker 1>played by Christopher Briney, who is a type A commerce

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<v Speaker 1>focused editor. Zarni Guard plays Gail, whose unexpected god in

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<v Speaker 1>steers a character played by Michelle Randolph, a creative, freethinking

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<v Speaker 1>editor in a pivotal direction during the trip sounds very complicated.

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<v Speaker 1>Can't wait for it? Mack Packer Andy Samberg. He will

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<v Speaker 1>start in forty two point six Years, a romantic comedy.

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<v Speaker 1>Samberg was originally going to star opposite Gene Smart. Gene

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<v Speaker 1>has now pulled out of it and has been replaced

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<v Speaker 1>by five time Oscar nominee Annette Benning. In forty two

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<v Speaker 1>point six Years, we follow ben played by Mack Packer

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<v Speaker 1>Andy Samberg, who, after an experimental procedure leaves him cryogenically

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<v Speaker 1>frozen for forty two point six years, sets out to

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<v Speaker 1>reconnect with his ex girlfriend played by Anette Benning. He

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<v Speaker 1>has an age today. She's lived an entire lifetime without him.

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<v Speaker 1>John mulaney was a guest on The Late Show with

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<v Speaker 1>star Trek Ruin or Stephen Colbert. Laney told a story

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<v Speaker 1>about visiting Graceland. As the story goes, John mulaney says,

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<v Speaker 1>his son, Malcolm, who's four, is a huge fan of

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<v Speaker 1>Elvis Presley, because of course he is. John said, and

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<v Speaker 1>I said to him, do you want to get a

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<v Speaker 1>tour of Elvis's house? And he was like, elvis House awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>Laney says, we're walking through, and the guy goes, we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna show you some special spots because you're performing here

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<v Speaker 1>at Graceland. My son goes, I want to go on

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<v Speaker 1>the roof. They weren't able to visit the roof. However,

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<v Speaker 1>they were able to visit Elvis's jungle room. Malaney said,

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<v Speaker 1>we're looking around and Malcolm goes, Dad, can I meet

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<v Speaker 1>Elvis now? And it never come up. While listening to

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<v Speaker 1>hound Dog, you don't go, son, you know this guy's dead.

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<v Speaker 1>Right then I realized all his grandparents aren't alive, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's never had a goldfish, and he doesn't know he's

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<v Speaker 1>about to find out in the jungle room at Graceland

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<v Speaker 1>that everybody dies. Laney explained to his son, Elvis is

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<v Speaker 1>in heaven now. His son said, why. John Mulaney, as

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<v Speaker 1>he tells the story, said, sometimes when people are in

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<v Speaker 1>their early forties and they have a job at a

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<v Speaker 1>schedule a lot like daddy, and some of the same

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<v Speaker 1>issues as Daddy, they go to the bathroom and they

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<v Speaker 1>go to heaven. Wow, that's pretty good. Eddie Murphy winner

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<v Speaker 1>of the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award. Well Netflix

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<v Speaker 1>will televise the fifty first AFI Life Achievement Award, a

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<v Speaker 1>Tribute to Eddie Murphy on Netflix May thirty first. The

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<v Speaker 1>award will be presented to Eddie Murphy in LA on

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<v Speaker 1>April eighteenth. According to the AFI, Eddie Murphy is the

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<v Speaker 1>most commercially successful African American actor in the history of

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<v Speaker 1>the motion picture business and as one of the industry's

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<v Speaker 1>top five box office performers overall. W Camal Bell, Melissa

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<v Speaker 1>Via Signor, and Joel Kim Booster are going to perform

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<v Speaker 1>in San Francisco. They'll be at the Immigration Institute of

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<v Speaker 1>the Bay Area hosting the tenth annual Comedy Night for

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<v Speaker 1>immigrant rights. April thirtieth is that event Want of Pikes

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<v Speaker 1>was on Charlemagne, the God. Charlemagne said, the thing I

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<v Speaker 1>used to love about the Chris Rock Show, it was

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<v Speaker 1>just full of uncomfortable truths. Even that whole era was

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<v Speaker 1>full of uncomfortable truths. Right, do you think comedy's still

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<v Speaker 1>a ought to be that honest? Are we in an

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<v Speaker 1>era now where everybody wants jokes but they don't want

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<v Speaker 1>the truth that comes with it. Wanta said, no, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, I think You're allowed to do it, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's just who wants to do it. You know what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. If I'm trying to fill an arena, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying, you can't be that common. You

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<v Speaker 1>gotta appeal to the masses. And sometimes right now with

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<v Speaker 1>the masses want to hear it's ugly, you know, want

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<v Speaker 1>to continue it to a lot of people like to

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<v Speaker 1>be the critic. They want to be the police. It's like,

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<v Speaker 1>if you say something it might offend you, but you

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<v Speaker 1>got to look at where that person's coming from. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe their life, their perspective is different from what you know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're offended, You're not standing in my shoes you don't

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<v Speaker 1>see it from my perspective, so I think that's what

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<v Speaker 1>we've gotten away from. I always try to punch up,

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<v Speaker 1>but that's me. However, she said, if you punch down

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<v Speaker 1>and it's funny, I'm gonna laugh. Apparently, the Shepherd Express

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<v Speaker 1>is your home for comedy news. We've got back to

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<v Speaker 1>back stories from The Shepherd Express. In story number one,

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<v Speaker 1>they caught up with Maria Bamford. She said, I think

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<v Speaker 1>I have a trimmer and it makes everything seem like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm nervous. But I don't feel nervous. I just look

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm afraid. Bamford said, I need to entertain myself,

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<v Speaker 1>so that's a shell just keep myself from being bored.

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<v Speaker 1>She also added, my friendship with my sister. I stopped

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<v Speaker 1>doing jokes about her and now we're best friends. Next thing,

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<v Speaker 1>Maria Bamford would love to accomplish. I'd love to be

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<v Speaker 1>on a TV show for five lines a week in

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<v Speaker 1>a wig. Meanwhile, Jackie Kashin also caught up with these

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<v Speaker 1>Shepherd Express. Jackie said growing up she wasn't thinking of

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<v Speaker 1>being a comedian. She said, I wanted to act. I

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<v Speaker 1>think I certainly played a lot of what a FUNSI

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<v Speaker 1>was on the Starship Enterprise and acted out of all

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<v Speaker 1>the parts I'd watch that, I vaguely remember answering that

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to be a lawyer or a teacher of

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<v Speaker 1>Forrest Ranger. When asked, I went to UW. Madison. There

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<v Speaker 1>was a comedy club. We went to it. I went

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<v Speaker 1>to open Mic three weeks after seeing the show, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was hooked. I don't know how to explain it,

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<v Speaker 1>but it felt like I was looking for stand up forever.

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<v Speaker 1>She recalls a night in nineteen eighty four she went

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<v Speaker 1>to a Madison comedy club, got drunk, heckled the comedian

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<v Speaker 1>on stage, and he couldn't shut me up, and sally

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<v Speaker 1>for the rest of the audience. I wasn't kicked out.

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<v Speaker 1>The club manager came over and said, open Mic is

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<v Speaker 1>on Sundays now, will you shut up? And I did.

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<v Speaker 1>The comic guy heckled Sam Kennison. How could Sam Kinnison

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<v Speaker 1>not shut you down? That seems hard to believe. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not gonna pull up. That seems hard to believe that

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<v Speaker 1>Sam Kinnison couldn't slam a heckler. Jackie said, comedy right now,

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<v Speaker 1>it's crazy out in the world and there are two

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<v Speaker 1>kinds of comedy. I like seeing now very open about

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<v Speaker 1>the things we're all living through, mostly to relieve the

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<v Speaker 1>pressure and to make people know they aren't alone a crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>The other kind of comedy is just normal, driving, family,

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<v Speaker 1>food and relationship material, which is the kind of fun

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<v Speaker 1>comedy you just keep writing to matter what the situation. TJ.

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<v Speaker 1>Miller keeps talking about the next Deadpool film. I think

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<v Speaker 1>he wants to get back into that franchise. Supposedly, Ryan

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<v Speaker 1>Reynolds told TJ Miller about it. TJ said, I'll say

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<v Speaker 1>his idea for the next Deadpool film is like really good.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's really smart. He told me the idea.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of got hair on the back of my

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<v Speaker 1>neck standing up because I was just like, I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>think you could do something that's even more different than

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<v Speaker 1>Deadpool and Wolverine. I don't know what's gonna happen, because

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<v Speaker 1>he's got a couple other projects going. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>always liked him and I always thought he's the funniest.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, what are you gonna say, hey, Ryan, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a terrible idea. I hate your idea for the Deadpool movie.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be at it, DJ said, Ryan

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<v Speaker 1>is really a powerhouse in terms of the comedy and

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<v Speaker 1>specifically Deadpool. He's coming to be a real friend and

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<v Speaker 1>he's at our back and I've tried to have his

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<v Speaker 1>because I mean, the Internet is just such an evil,

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<v Speaker 1>cruel place, so despicable. And let's see what's happening in Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have to work a day ahead for you

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<v Speaker 1>Americans because the listener's down Under by the time they

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<v Speaker 1>get the show. If I'm not wearing a day ahead,

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<v Speaker 1>they're gonna be like, yeah, thanks John. That show started

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<v Speaker 1>at thirty minutes ago. So Thursday at eleven thirty in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning, it's the Class Clowns National Grand Final. Who

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<v Speaker 1>will be crowned Australia's funniest high school I like this

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<v Speaker 1>a month long search for the country's brightest young comedy talent.

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<v Speaker 1>Class Clowns is a national secondary school comedy competition inviting

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<v Speaker 1>young people to unleash their creative talents through stand up, sketch,

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<v Speaker 1>musical comedy or physical performance. And then if you'll need

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<v Speaker 1>something at night, how about six pm good time for show.

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<v Speaker 1>We can see a show and go home and go

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<v Speaker 1>to bed. That's great. It's Australia's Funniest Lawyers, featuring a

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<v Speaker 1>lineup of criminal prosecutors, barristers, government regulators and corporate solicitors who,

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<v Speaker 1>as you could tell, are the funniest people of the world.

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<v Speaker 1>With those jobs, we are teld the lawyers turn comedians

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<v Speaker 1>in this lineup of one and been nominated for numerous

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<v Speaker 1>prestigious festival awards, appeared on TV, and have sold out

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<v Speaker 1>festival shows nationally and internationally. That's right, it's America's Funniest Lawyers.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wait, Comedy Survivor forgot to tell you. It looks

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<v Speaker 1>like Sebastian Maniscalco is in massive, massive trouble. As I've

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<v Speaker 1>been skiving the Facebook group, looks like he's going to go.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're like, well, I want to save a

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<v Speaker 1>Sebastian Maniscalco, I would get about twelve of your friends

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<v Speaker 1>to vote for somebody else. But whoever you guys want

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<v Speaker 1>to vote it off is fine with me. What you

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<v Speaker 1>do is you go to the Facebook group Daily Comedy

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<v Speaker 1>News Podcast group and you'll find the little drawing there

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<v Speaker 1>and you'll see a bunch of people have written the

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<v Speaker 1>words Sebastian and Maniscalco. And then you and your twelve

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<v Speaker 1>friends are going to want to jump in there and

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<v Speaker 1>write down some other name. And that is your comedy

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<v Speaker 1>news for today, See tomorrow.