WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:03.680 Welcome back in Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo 2 00:00:03.720 --> 00:00:04.200 and Lorenzo. 3 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:08.160 On this episode, we're continuing our discussion on pieces of 4 00:00:08.199 --> 00:00:11.359 advice that coaches would give their younger selves from the 5 00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:13.759 Forbes article of the of the same title. We've been 6 00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:15.359 doing this for a few weeks now, and a lot 7 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:17.480 of this advice is is really good advice if you're 8 00:00:17.519 --> 00:00:19.960 trying to get better at coaching or trying to make 9 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:21.239 sure you're more effective coach. 10 00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:23.879 We all know the importance. 11 00:00:23.359 --> 00:00:26.280 Of great coaching and how that's kind of being elevated 12 00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.960 with regard to how it impacts a person's ability to 13 00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:34.320 lead and their and their quality of leadership. On last 14 00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:37.920 week's episode, we had a great discussion on getting a 15 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:41.119 mentor and being vulnerable about it. If you haven't listened 16 00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:42.799 to that when yet, go back and do so. On 17 00:00:42.840 --> 00:00:45.359 this episode, we're gonna talk about a couple more. The 18 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:49.719 first one is around following your passion and I like 19 00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:51.719 this one, but I want to caveat it a little 20 00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:55.840 bit because the verbiage in the article it's it sounds great, 21 00:00:56.039 --> 00:00:58.799 and I love the way it sounds, but it's in. 22 00:00:59.079 --> 00:01:00.359 A real world. It's not perfect. 23 00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:01.520 The way it is, I think I think there's a 24 00:01:01.560 --> 00:01:03.200 lot that there's more to it that can be impact. 25 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:07.879 It talks about how finding true fulfillment is around being 26 00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:10.920 yourself and that you shouldn't look for alignment or agreement 27 00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:14.680 with others. And I don't necessarily know that's the case. 28 00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:17.920 I mean, we hear, we hear from people you know 29 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:19.719 in the you know, in the news, or in pop 30 00:01:19.719 --> 00:01:22.760 culture all the time that talked about how I wanted 31 00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:24.400 to I've been wanting to do this since I was 32 00:01:24.439 --> 00:01:28.120 ten years old, and and everybody told me I was crazy, 33 00:01:28.200 --> 00:01:30.239 and I wanted to push forward and do it anyway. 34 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:32.680 And those stories sound amazing and they sound great. 35 00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:36.400 The goal, I think is to have the right people 36 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:40.400 around you, so that if someone is telling you that 37 00:01:40.519 --> 00:01:42.519 you are crazy for doing this or that you shouldn't 38 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:44.799 be there, that you have the ability to know the 39 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.000 difference between a person who is doing that because they 40 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:48.879 don't care about you and they just don't want to 41 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:52.120 see you succeed, or a person who genuinely has your 42 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:53.359 best interests at heart. 43 00:01:53.799 --> 00:01:56.599 But in the context of assuming. 44 00:01:56.159 --> 00:02:00.200 That you have people around you that that have your 45 00:02:00.280 --> 00:02:03.400 best interests at heart, then you do want to look 46 00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:05.760 for alignment with some people. Sometimes you don't necessarily want 47 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.000 to just push everybody away and and steamroll ahead into 48 00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:10.919 whatever it is that you want to do. But in 49 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:13.919 the in the in the instances where you don't have that, 50 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:18.199 where the naysayers are not people who are close to you, 51 00:02:18.520 --> 00:02:20.759 they're not people have your best interests at heart, it 52 00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:23.599 is one hundred percent, very very good advice to say 53 00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:26.439 ignore those people and don't look for alignment with them. 54 00:02:26.479 --> 00:02:28.680 So it's I think it's the the caveat here is 55 00:02:29.039 --> 00:02:32.319 making sure that that you know the difference and and 56 00:02:32.360 --> 00:02:35.039 that that the alignment you're seeking is from people who 57 00:02:35.159 --> 00:02:37.800 value the relationship and value you and not just looking 58 00:02:37.800 --> 00:02:38.439 at for themselves. 59 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:40.000 Yeah, I agree with that. 60 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:41.800 I think it's you know, whenever I see language like 61 00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:43.919 always and never, it always kind of teaks me a 62 00:02:43.960 --> 00:02:46.759 little bit. Yeah, you know, but I think at the 63 00:02:46.919 --> 00:02:49.080 at the core of this and when you think about 64 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:53.159 like following your passions and your intuition, I do think 65 00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:56.240 that's really really important when it comes to, you know, 66 00:02:56.319 --> 00:02:59.840 to the way in which you approach in this context 67 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:02.400 of on like coaching people and working with people, because 68 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:05.879 I think that you know, I hear myself often say 69 00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:08.159 things like, you need to trust your intuition to remember 70 00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:10.120 what got you to this point. You have to know 71 00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:13.199 that like the things that you've had to lean into 72 00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:16.400 to make, you know, really good decisions to get to 73 00:03:16.439 --> 00:03:18.520 this point are the things that will help you continue on. 74 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:23.879 And so you've you've got to feel comfortable knowing that 75 00:03:23.879 --> 00:03:27.280 that there is something unique about the way in which 76 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:29.439 you lead people, the way in which you communicate, the 77 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:32.199 way in which you connect with people, and you should 78 00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:34.360 stick to that. You should use that as your superpower. 79 00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:36.080 So that's kind of how I read this. It's kind 80 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:38.919 of like everyone has a unique talent, right, whatever that 81 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:41.360 thing is, whatever that approach is, whatever that way is, 82 00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:45.919 that that people know that to be you, that authenticity 83 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:48.159 of who you are and how you do these these 84 00:03:48.159 --> 00:03:51.159 things is really really important when you are thinking about 85 00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:54.759 building trust and building culture with a team, and people 86 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:57.759 can look and say that's exactly who they are, Like 87 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:00.319 that's who they've always been, and like there are things 88 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:03.919 that you can learn or sharpen or refine when it 89 00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:08.120 comes to communication, when it comes to creating strategies, whatever 90 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:11.599 that might be. But who you are and what you're 91 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:15.599 passionate about and especially in a space of leadership, when 92 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:19.519 you're passionate about people like always make sure that you 93 00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:22.879 you keep that forefront and that people know that's exactly 94 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:26.040 what you are passionate about, and that's that's that's a 95 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:28.160 reflection of who you are as a person, right. 96 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:33.399 But it's important to know to not just convince yourself 97 00:04:33.399 --> 00:04:35.800 that that's what you're passionate about, but to put it 98 00:04:35.839 --> 00:04:38.800 through tests. Right, So you have to be able to 99 00:04:40.279 --> 00:04:42.600 you have to be able to do things to work 100 00:04:42.680 --> 00:04:47.480 towards those passions in a way that have the potential 101 00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:49.800 of failure. I know a lot of people who talk 102 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:53.040 about how passionate they are about doing something, and they 103 00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:55.240 talk about it in this kind of act in the ether, 104 00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:57.800 but if you look at their daily actions, they're not 105 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:00.480 in spirit of that. They're not in spirit of moving 106 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:04.079 towards something like that. And in some cases, actually I 107 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:06.639 think in a lot of cases, I think it's almost 108 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:09.120 a fear of failure. It's like a I don't want 109 00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:11.319 to push forward with this because if I fail at 110 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:14.199 doing it, it will be so detrimental to the core 111 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:14.800 of who I am. 112 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:16.480 Because I've always believed. 113 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:18.720 For the longest, for as long as I remember that 114 00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:21.519 this was my passion. It's like, well, in order to 115 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:24.240 say that you're passionate about something, it only it only 116 00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:26.839 works if you're actually doing something towards it. Otherwise you're 117 00:05:26.839 --> 00:05:30.680 not really passionate about it. You're passionate maybe about that 118 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.279 being part of your brand. You know, you're passionate about 119 00:05:33.319 --> 00:05:36.839 saying that you're passionate about it, but are you actually. 120 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:37.319 Passionate about it? 121 00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:41.560 And if you say that you're passionate about leadership and 122 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.680 about leading and coaching others, then you need to leading 123 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.160 coach others. You need to get better at doing that 124 00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:49.879 and put work into doing it and know that you 125 00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:52.680 will fail along the way many times and learn from 126 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:54.439 those failures hopefully. 127 00:05:55.199 --> 00:05:58.519 But that's part of that. The passion is around the 128 00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:02.160 journey of getting there and around the process you go 129 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:03.079 through every day. 130 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:06.839 If the passion is just around, if just kind of 131 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:09.560 around the aggregate of I'm passionate about leading and coaching, 132 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.199 then no, you're That means you're just passionate about saying 133 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:14.319 that you're a coach or a leader, or about being 134 00:06:14.439 --> 00:06:17.920 identified or recognized or labeled as a coach or a leader. 135 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:21.399 If you're actually passionate about leading people and coaching people, 136 00:06:21.560 --> 00:06:23.879 you have to leading coach people. And so I think 137 00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:27.319 that there's this this kind of like you know, dichotomy 138 00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:30.759 of of the or the two sizes can kind of 139 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:34.000 butt heads a little bit. So following your passion doesn't 140 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:36.680 mean that you're that you're always going to be great 141 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:38.360 at what it is that you're doing. You can be 142 00:06:38.439 --> 00:06:40.759 very passionate about something that you're not great at doing 143 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:43.920 and then get better at it. But if you're passionate 144 00:06:43.959 --> 00:06:45.399 about it, or you say that you are, and you're 145 00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:48.600 not practicing it every day, then you are You either 146 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:51.319 aren't good at it at all, or you were, but 147 00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:53.720 you will you will stop being good at it because 148 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:57.240 the the thing that you're doing is changing so quickly 149 00:06:57.279 --> 00:06:59.720 that you have to you constantly learn and change and 150 00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:00.279 growth with it. 151 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:01.959 Yeah. No, I think it's a great point, and it's 152 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:04.639 something that saying like if you raise your hand to 153 00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:06.959 say I want to be a leader of people, then 154 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:09.519 what you are saying is that you want to be 155 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:14.879 responsible for their development, their growth, their success. And that's 156 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:18.079 a very high level of commitment that you are making, 157 00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:20.639 right because now all of a sudden, it's not about you. 158 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:23.079 Right, Well, maybe it is like are you raising your 159 00:07:23.079 --> 00:07:25.240 hand to say I want to be a leader of people? 160 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:27.639 Or are you raising your hand to say I want. 161 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:28.480 To lead people? Right? 162 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:31.920 Exactly? Like like if your passion is leading people, then 163 00:07:31.959 --> 00:07:33.759 you have to lead people. If your passion is getting 164 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:36.879 a title, if your passion is getting a promotion, right like, 165 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:41.040 it's going to be exposed very very quickly because you're 166 00:07:41.079 --> 00:07:44.680 not truly and you won't have to right, miserable and 167 00:07:44.759 --> 00:07:46.879 getting the next job or the next title isn't really 168 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:48.839 a passion, right you know what I'm saying, Like, that's 169 00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:50.720 not truly a passion. So if you're if you're in 170 00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:53.480 that space, then then you really need to pull back 171 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:55.639 and think about what are you really trying to accomplish, 172 00:07:55.759 --> 00:07:58.399 you know, in life to a degree around like the 173 00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:00.279 passions that you have, Yeah, for sure. 174 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:03.360 The other the next one in this in this article, 175 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:05.120 I want to go over and I think it relates 176 00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:07.000 a little bit to the previous one. The next one 177 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:09.360 is knowing your worth. And you know, when you when 178 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:12.439 we talk about knowing knowing your worth, the first thing 179 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:15.480 I think about is imposter syndrome. And I've I've definitely 180 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:18.600 been in rooms where I didn't perform the way that 181 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:20.959 I should, and I when I look back at it, 182 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:23.720 the only reason why is because I didn't think I 183 00:08:23.759 --> 00:08:25.160 inherently had the right to be there. 184 00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:25.720 I didn't. 185 00:08:25.720 --> 00:08:28.160 I didn't think I was worthy of being there, and 186 00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:32.320 I kind of subconsciously lived up to that, like I 187 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:35.759 lived up to not being allowed to be there by 188 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:39.720 acting in a way that that validated my own beliefs 189 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:41.720 that I shouldn't have been there. But if I had 190 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:45.600 gone into it differently and believing in myself that I 191 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:47.720 that I do have the right to be there, and 192 00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:51.759 that I do I can take a contribution, then I 193 00:08:51.799 --> 00:08:53.840 think that's also something that we have a tendency to 194 00:08:53.879 --> 00:08:56.080 rise to the to the occasion of. So if you 195 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:57.919 whether it's one of those whether you think you can 196 00:08:58.039 --> 00:09:00.399 or you think you can't, you're right that this is 197 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.399 where that comes in. If you think that you do 198 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:04.799 have a right to be somewhere, and if you feel 199 00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:06.720 like and you do believe in yourself and you are 200 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:10.720 worth this process, then you are far more likely to 201 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:14.919 live up to that. And it takes passion around something 202 00:09:15.320 --> 00:09:17.840 to be able to get through that. If you don't 203 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:20.000 feel like you have the right to be someplace and 204 00:09:20.120 --> 00:09:22.320 you don't care about it anyway, Good luck. 205 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:23.000 Getting out of that one. 206 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:25.519 Like there's you don't even have the will to be 207 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:27.360 there to begin with, let alone whether or not you 208 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:31.320 think you should be. But in order to get through 209 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:36.240 the potential imposter syndrome or having difficulty knowing you're worth, 210 00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:38.919 it has to at the very least be around something 211 00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:41.360 you're passionate about doing so you can push through it. 212 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:42.799 Because it's it's not a. 213 00:09:42.759 --> 00:09:45.799 Problem that it's there. It's a problem if you can't 214 00:09:45.799 --> 00:09:47.919 push through it. In fact, if it's there, it might 215 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:49.559 it can be a good thing. It could be a 216 00:09:49.559 --> 00:09:52.720 good check and balance on yourself to where you can 217 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:55.480 start thinking about do I have the right to be here? 218 00:09:55.840 --> 00:09:58.960 And it's not just because you need to be able 219 00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:01.279 to recognize when you do. Doesn't mean you should stop 220 00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:04.000 asking the question, because in some situations you very well 221 00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:06.960 may not have a right to be somewhere right. So, 222 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:09.720 so knowing your worth and being able to ask those 223 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:12.960 questions of yourself and get the right answers, get the 224 00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:17.360 self aware answers, it requires passion around that thing so 225 00:10:17.399 --> 00:10:19.559 that you can you make sure you're being honest with yourself. 226 00:10:19.639 --> 00:10:20.279 Yeah, and I. 227 00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:25.879 Think too, you know, it's knowing your worth and then 228 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:31.559 feeling worthy, right, are kind of two different things. I agree. 229 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:33.440 You know, it speaks about this in the article a 230 00:10:33.480 --> 00:10:36.279 little bit as well. But like the importance of having 231 00:10:36.360 --> 00:10:39.679 people in your life that view you as worthy and 232 00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:43.840 help you feel like you're bringing value and that you 233 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:44.519 have worth. 234 00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:46.159 I think it's really really critical. 235 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:48.679 It kind of ties back to, you know, a previous 236 00:10:48.679 --> 00:10:50.600 episode when we talked about the importance of like having 237 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:53.679 a mentor to coach, but having those people in your 238 00:10:53.720 --> 00:10:57.519 life that that help to you know, that help to say, hey, no, no, 239 00:10:57.879 --> 00:11:00.759 you're making the right decisions here right, Like, like I 240 00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:03.840 see and I understand, and I have a belief in 241 00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:08.039 you that I know that you're fully worthy of being here, 242 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:10.919 that I know that you are fully capable of delivering 243 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:13.000 on what you're working on, that I know that you're 244 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:16.240 going to be a tremendous leader. Like, those types of 245 00:11:16.279 --> 00:11:21.440 things are super duper important when it comes to you know, 246 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:24.600 sometimes we all need that validation. Sometimes we need that person. 247 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:26.360 Sometimes we get caught up in our own heads when 248 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:29.240 you have a big passion for something and maybe it's 249 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:31.039 not going the way you want it to go, or 250 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:32.679 it's not moving as fast as you wanted to move, 251 00:11:32.759 --> 00:11:34.080 or you're running into. 252 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:34.679 A bunch of hurdles. 253 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:37.799 You know, it's human nature to kind of, you know, 254 00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:40.080 kind of question yourself and think about it and be like, 255 00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:42.039 am I capable of doing this? Is this? 256 00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:42.320 Like? 257 00:11:42.759 --> 00:11:43.440 Is this really? 258 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:43.600 Like? 259 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:45.919 Is this something that I should be able to accomplish? 260 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.200 And having people that see you and value you and 261 00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:54.360 help you to remember that you're doing some great work 262 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:56.679 even if it doesn't feel like you're having the outcomes 263 00:11:56.720 --> 00:11:59.600 that you want. I think is a really really important 264 00:11:59.639 --> 00:12:02.480 piece of that. So I think, like, besides besides believing 265 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:04.840 in yourself, besides feeling. 266 00:12:04.519 --> 00:12:06.759 Like you're you're you're you're worthy. 267 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:10.080 Having people surround you that that that provides you with 268 00:12:10.120 --> 00:12:12.039 some of that kind of filling your bucket from time 269 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:14.000 to time I think is really really important. 270 00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:15.679 I agree with that. I want to caveat it with 271 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:16.279 something though, I want. 272 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:19.120 I want to say that, yes, that that is important, 273 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:22.799 but it has to be something that they can root 274 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:27.639 in reality, like actual examples of why you are worthy, uh, 275 00:12:27.720 --> 00:12:30.039 and that this is this the whole, Like, you know what, 276 00:12:30.039 --> 00:12:33.360 what's more important self esteem or doing the things needed 277 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:36.240 to get self esteem right. If if the importance is 278 00:12:36.279 --> 00:12:38.600 just knowing you're worthy, you can surround yourself with people 279 00:12:38.600 --> 00:12:40.320 all the time who will say you're good enough, you're 280 00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:42.120 smart enough, and dog on it, people like you. 281 00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:43.440 But but that. 282 00:12:43.399 --> 00:12:47.879 Doesn't that that only works if someone is you know, uh, 283 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:50.440 is kind of just inherently down for the moment and 284 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:50.840 they need to be. 285 00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:51.840 Kind of picked up a little bit. 286 00:12:52.120 --> 00:12:54.559 If you're talking about whether or not a person has 287 00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:57.399 the ability to do a job and to do it well, 288 00:12:57.480 --> 00:13:00.440 or whether they're prepared for another role or a promotion 289 00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:03.759 or a stretch assignment or something like that, that knowing 290 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:07.240 they're worthy of that that will never happen for them 291 00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:10.000 just by you saying you're good enough, go for it, 292 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:12.960 you should do it. You need to root those words 293 00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:16.960 in actual real world experience. 294 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:19.120 That that is leading you to believe that they are 295 00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:19.679 worthy of it. 296 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:22.240 And so a great example of this, you know, there 297 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:26.840 was a role that that was suggested to me in 298 00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:31.600 an organization to reach out for and I was talking 299 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:34.159 with a person in my a colleague of mine who's 300 00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:37.480 very important to me, and said, this is ridiculous that 301 00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:40.000 someone would suggest I do this. Uh, look at the 302 00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:43.000 what look at what the requirements of the role are. 303 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:45.440 You know, this is what they're asking for. I've never 304 00:13:45.480 --> 00:13:47.799 done this and this and this and this, And the 305 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:50.799 person I was talking to she said, of course you've 306 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:52.960 done this and this and this and this and and 307 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:56.080 she phrased it in a way that took the things 308 00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:58.159 that I absolutely have done, like the things that I 309 00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:01.080 have accomplished and the projects I have managed to completion 310 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:02.559 and the work that I. 311 00:14:02.519 --> 00:14:04.840 Have done, and said, well, you've done this. What's the 312 00:14:04.840 --> 00:14:07.240 difference in this in this? Like what's what do you? 313 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:09.080 You say you've ever done this before, but I'm saying 314 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.799 you have You've done it in this way. And the 315 00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:15.399 tie in there was like, oh, like I the way 316 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:17.559 I was reading this to me says that I don't 317 00:14:17.559 --> 00:14:21.360 have the experience to do this thing. And she was 318 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:23.039 able to articulate it in a way that said, no, 319 00:14:23.159 --> 00:14:25.120 you do have it. You just aren't looking at the 320 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:27.879 work that you've done in the right way, but you 321 00:14:27.960 --> 00:14:30.000 do have that work. And because it was grounded in 322 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:33.759 actual real things that I know got done, it just 323 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.480 kind of flipped my perspective on that interaction. That's what 324 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:40.080 is needed, so it's not just you're good enough, you 325 00:14:40.120 --> 00:14:43.039 should do this. It's here's why, here's what you've done 326 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:46.039 and why you've accomplished this, and now this is why 327 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:47.759 I believe that that you have the ability to do 328 00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:48.240 that same thing. 329 00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:50.639 Absolutely, that's a great point. And with that it brings 330 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:52.960 us to this episodes one Minute Hack. But first a 331 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:54.120 few words from our sponsors. 332 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:56.720 All right, for this episode one minute Hackers wanted you 333 00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:56.960 to do. 334 00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:59.080 If you're listening to this show, we have to start 335 00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:01.200 with the assumption that you are passionate about being a 336 00:15:01.200 --> 00:15:03.720 better leader and being a better coach for people. So 337 00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:05.320 the first thing you need to do is write down 338 00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:08.480 why why are you passionate about doing this. Obviously, if 339 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:10.440 the answer is because you want the title and you 340 00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:13.559 want more money, then you should probably rethink things. But 341 00:15:14.519 --> 00:15:18.000 once you've written down the reasons why you're passionate about 342 00:15:18.120 --> 00:15:20.639 leading coaching others, and no one can give that to you, 343 00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:22.240 you have to kind of figure that out on your own, 344 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:25.639 do some soul searching around that, and write down those reasons. 345 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:30.039 Those reasons are needed to remind you why you're doing 346 00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:32.120 the thing that you're doing that you're not doing it 347 00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:34.120 so that you can coach people. You're not doing it 348 00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:36.360 so that you can lead people. You're doing it for 349 00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:40.120 something else. What is that reason and why? And the 350 00:15:40.159 --> 00:15:42.720 next thing you need to do is surround yourself with 351 00:15:42.759 --> 00:15:45.240 people who value. 352 00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:46.120 Those exact same things. 353 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:49.799 Not people who also value leadership or can lead, Not 354 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.120 people who also value coaching or can coach, but people 355 00:15:53.159 --> 00:15:56.240 who value the things that you articulated as the reasons 356 00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:00.159 why you are passionate about leading coaching people. Those are 357 00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:03.360 the people who will inherently see the things that you 358 00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:07.440 do and can validate your worth and help you get 359 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:09.240 through the times when you think you can't get something 360 00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:11.559 done or that you shouldn't be in the room, because 361 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:14.519 if the people you surround yourself with don't share those 362 00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:16.879 values with you, they're not on the lookout for them 363 00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:19.360 to begin with. Whereas that the people who do share 364 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:21.519 those values with you, they don't even need to be 365 00:16:21.559 --> 00:16:23.840 on the lookout for them. Their feelers are out all 366 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.679 the time for them. They inherently see them in action 367 00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:30.000 and feel them coming from you in your interactions anyway, 368 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:32.039 And they want you to do much thinking to come 369 00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:35.080 up with reasons why you should be somewhere or why 370 00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:37.600 you shouldn't. You know, that you're worthy to be in 371 00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:39.320 a role that you're in or taking on an assignment. 372 00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:42.919 So so know those passions, why you want to be there, 373 00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:46.080 what the values are behind them, and then and then 374 00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.399 make sure as many people are around you as possible 375 00:16:48.519 --> 00:16:50.159 who share those exact same things. Yeah. 376 00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:51.320 No, I think it's a great hack. 377 00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:53.000 And again it's. 378 00:16:54.120 --> 00:16:59.519 How you clearly understand what it is that you enjoy 379 00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:02.440 about the world, that you want to do and why 380 00:17:02.519 --> 00:17:05.279 you're so drawn to the work. I think is such 381 00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:08.559 an important piece in the context of leadership, and then 382 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:11.920 finding people to your point that align with that, finding 383 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:15.599 people that also see leadership and see the role and 384 00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:19.240 see the things that you're doing as something that relates 385 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:23.519 to them as well. It makes the experience so much 386 00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:26.720 better and it makes the ability to work through the 387 00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:30.440 difficulties a lot smoother, because there's going to be difficulties, 388 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:32.160 there's going to be hurdles, there's going to be things 389 00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:33.960 that you have to learn through experience, there's going to 390 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:38.119 be mistakes that you make, and being clear about why 391 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:41.200 you have a passion for what you do that's going 392 00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:43.079 to be a part of helping you to work through them. 393 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:46.720 And then having those around you that see your value, 394 00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:49.279 that see your worth, and that are aligned with those 395 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:51.799 passions is really kind of the thing that helps to 396 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.319 break through it very very quickly and move on so 397 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:56.720 that you can learn quickly and then adapt and then 398 00:17:56.759 --> 00:17:58.400 be able to continue to be a better leader. 399 00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:00.759 Right, and if the people who you've done a good 400 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:03.279 job surrounding yourself with who share the same values as 401 00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:06.440