Speaker 1: Welcome back in Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo
Speaker 1: and Lorenzo.
Speaker 2: On this episode, we're continuing our discussion on pieces of
Speaker 2: advice that coaches would give their younger selves from the
Speaker 2: Forbes article of the of the same title. We've been
Speaker 2: doing this for a few weeks now, and a lot
Speaker 2: of this advice is is really good advice if you're
Speaker 2: trying to get better at coaching or trying to make
Speaker 2: sure you're more effective coach.
Speaker 1: We all know the importance.
Speaker 2: Of great coaching and how that's kind of being elevated
Speaker 2: with regard to how it impacts a person's ability to
Speaker 2: lead and their and their quality of leadership. On last
Speaker 2: week's episode, we had a great discussion on getting a
Speaker 2: mentor and being vulnerable about it. If you haven't listened
Speaker 2: to that when yet, go back and do so. On
Speaker 2: this episode, we're gonna talk about a couple more. The
Speaker 2: first one is around following your passion and I like
Speaker 2: this one, but I want to caveat it a little
Speaker 2: bit because the verbiage in the article it's it sounds great,
Speaker 2: and I love the way it sounds, but it's in.
Speaker 1: A real world. It's not perfect.
Speaker 2: The way it is, I think I think there's a
Speaker 2: lot that there's more to it that can be impact.
Speaker 2: It talks about how finding true fulfillment is around being
Speaker 2: yourself and that you shouldn't look for alignment or agreement
Speaker 2: with others. And I don't necessarily know that's the case.
Speaker 2: I mean, we hear, we hear from people you know
Speaker 2: in the you know, in the news, or in pop
Speaker 2: culture all the time that talked about how I wanted
Speaker 2: to I've been wanting to do this since I was
Speaker 2: ten years old, and and everybody told me I was crazy,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to push forward and do it anyway.
Speaker 1: And those stories sound amazing and they sound great.
Speaker 2: The goal, I think is to have the right people
Speaker 2: around you, so that if someone is telling you that
Speaker 2: you are crazy for doing this or that you shouldn't
Speaker 2: be there, that you have the ability to know the
Speaker 2: difference between a person who is doing that because they
Speaker 2: don't care about you and they just don't want to
Speaker 2: see you succeed, or a person who genuinely has your
Speaker 2: best interests at heart.
Speaker 1: But in the context of assuming.
Speaker 2: That you have people around you that that have your
Speaker 2: best interests at heart, then you do want to look
Speaker 2: for alignment with some people. Sometimes you don't necessarily want
Speaker 2: to just push everybody away and and steamroll ahead into
Speaker 2: whatever it is that you want to do. But in
Speaker 2: the in the in the instances where you don't have that,
Speaker 2: where the naysayers are not people who are close to you,
Speaker 2: they're not people have your best interests at heart, it
Speaker 2: is one hundred percent, very very good advice to say
Speaker 2: ignore those people and don't look for alignment with them.
Speaker 2: So it's I think it's the the caveat here is
Speaker 2: making sure that that you know the difference and and
Speaker 2: that that the alignment you're seeking is from people who
Speaker 2: value the relationship and value you and not just looking
Speaker 2: at for themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 3: I think it's you know, whenever I see language like
Speaker 3: always and never, it always kind of teaks me a
Speaker 3: little bit. Yeah, you know, but I think at the
Speaker 3: at the core of this and when you think about
Speaker 3: like following your passions and your intuition, I do think
Speaker 3: that's really really important when it comes to, you know,
Speaker 3: to the way in which you approach in this context
Speaker 3: of on like coaching people and working with people, because
Speaker 3: I think that you know, I hear myself often say
Speaker 3: things like, you need to trust your intuition to remember
Speaker 3: what got you to this point. You have to know
Speaker 3: that like the things that you've had to lean into
Speaker 3: to make, you know, really good decisions to get to
Speaker 3: this point are the things that will help you continue on.
Speaker 3: And so you've you've got to feel comfortable knowing that
Speaker 3: that there is something unique about the way in which
Speaker 3: you lead people, the way in which you communicate, the
Speaker 3: way in which you connect with people, and you should
Speaker 3: stick to that. You should use that as your superpower.
Speaker 3: So that's kind of how I read this. It's kind
Speaker 3: of like everyone has a unique talent, right, whatever that
Speaker 3: thing is, whatever that approach is, whatever that way is,
Speaker 3: that that people know that to be you, that authenticity
Speaker 3: of who you are and how you do these these
Speaker 3: things is really really important when you are thinking about
Speaker 3: building trust and building culture with a team, and people
Speaker 3: can look and say that's exactly who they are, Like
Speaker 3: that's who they've always been, and like there are things
Speaker 3: that you can learn or sharpen or refine when it
Speaker 3: comes to communication, when it comes to creating strategies, whatever
Speaker 3: that might be. But who you are and what you're
Speaker 3: passionate about and especially in a space of leadership, when
Speaker 3: you're passionate about people like always make sure that you
Speaker 3: you keep that forefront and that people know that's exactly
Speaker 3: what you are passionate about, and that's that's that's a
Speaker 3: reflection of who you are as a person, right.
Speaker 2: But it's important to know to not just convince yourself
Speaker 2: that that's what you're passionate about, but to put it
Speaker 2: through tests. Right, So you have to be able to
Speaker 2: you have to be able to do things to work
Speaker 2: towards those passions in a way that have the potential
Speaker 2: of failure. I know a lot of people who talk
Speaker 2: about how passionate they are about doing something, and they
Speaker 2: talk about it in this kind of act in the ether,
Speaker 2: but if you look at their daily actions, they're not
Speaker 2: in spirit of that. They're not in spirit of moving
Speaker 2: towards something like that. And in some cases, actually I
Speaker 2: think in a lot of cases, I think it's almost
Speaker 2: a fear of failure. It's like a I don't want
Speaker 2: to push forward with this because if I fail at
Speaker 2: doing it, it will be so detrimental to the core
Speaker 2: of who I am.
Speaker 1: Because I've always believed.
Speaker 2: For the longest, for as long as I remember that
Speaker 2: this was my passion. It's like, well, in order to
Speaker 2: say that you're passionate about something, it only it only
Speaker 2: works if you're actually doing something towards it. Otherwise you're
Speaker 2: not really passionate about it. You're passionate maybe about that
Speaker 2: being part of your brand. You know, you're passionate about
Speaker 2: saying that you're passionate about it, but are you actually.
Speaker 1: Passionate about it?
Speaker 2: And if you say that you're passionate about leadership and
Speaker 2: about leading and coaching others, then you need to leading
Speaker 2: coach others. You need to get better at doing that
Speaker 2: and put work into doing it and know that you
Speaker 2: will fail along the way many times and learn from
Speaker 2: those failures hopefully.
Speaker 1: But that's part of that. The passion is around the
Speaker 1: journey of getting there and around the process you go
Speaker 1: through every day.
Speaker 2: If the passion is just around, if just kind of
Speaker 2: around the aggregate of I'm passionate about leading and coaching,
Speaker 2: then no, you're That means you're just passionate about saying
Speaker 2: that you're a coach or a leader, or about being
Speaker 2: identified or recognized or labeled as a coach or a leader.
Speaker 2: If you're actually passionate about leading people and coaching people,
Speaker 2: you have to leading coach people. And so I think
Speaker 2: that there's this this kind of like you know, dichotomy
Speaker 2: of of the or the two sizes can kind of
Speaker 2: butt heads a little bit. So following your passion doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that you're that you're always going to be great
Speaker 2: at what it is that you're doing. You can be
Speaker 2: very passionate about something that you're not great at doing
Speaker 2: and then get better at it. But if you're passionate
Speaker 2: about it, or you say that you are, and you're
Speaker 2: not practicing it every day, then you are You either
Speaker 2: aren't good at it at all, or you were, but
Speaker 2: you will you will stop being good at it because
Speaker 2: the the thing that you're doing is changing so quickly
Speaker 2: that you have to you constantly learn and change and
Speaker 2: growth with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I think it's a great point, and it's
Speaker 3: something that saying like if you raise your hand to
Speaker 3: say I want to be a leader of people, then
Speaker 3: what you are saying is that you want to be
Speaker 3: responsible for their development, their growth, their success. And that's
Speaker 3: a very high level of commitment that you are making,
Speaker 3: right because now all of a sudden, it's not about you.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, maybe it is like are you raising your
Speaker 2: hand to say I want to be a leader of people?
Speaker 2: Or are you raising your hand to say I want.
Speaker 1: To lead people? Right?
Speaker 3: Exactly? Like like if your passion is leading people, then
Speaker 3: you have to lead people. If your passion is getting
Speaker 3: a title, if your passion is getting a promotion, right like,
Speaker 3: it's going to be exposed very very quickly because you're
Speaker 3: not truly and you won't have to right, miserable and
Speaker 3: getting the next job or the next title isn't really
Speaker 3: a passion, right you know what I'm saying, Like, that's
Speaker 3: not truly a passion. So if you're if you're in
Speaker 3: that space, then then you really need to pull back
Speaker 3: and think about what are you really trying to accomplish,
Speaker 3: you know, in life to a degree around like the
Speaker 3: passions that you have, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: The other the next one in this in this article,
Speaker 2: I want to go over and I think it relates
Speaker 2: a little bit to the previous one. The next one
Speaker 2: is knowing your worth. And you know, when you when
Speaker 2: we talk about knowing knowing your worth, the first thing
Speaker 2: I think about is imposter syndrome. And I've I've definitely
Speaker 2: been in rooms where I didn't perform the way that
Speaker 2: I should, and I when I look back at it,
Speaker 2: the only reason why is because I didn't think I
Speaker 2: inherently had the right to be there.
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was worthy of being there, and
Speaker 2: I kind of subconsciously lived up to that, like I
Speaker 2: lived up to not being allowed to be there by
Speaker 2: acting in a way that that validated my own beliefs
Speaker 2: that I shouldn't have been there. But if I had
Speaker 2: gone into it differently and believing in myself that I
Speaker 2: that I do have the right to be there, and
Speaker 2: that I do I can take a contribution, then I
Speaker 2: think that's also something that we have a tendency to
Speaker 2: rise to the to the occasion of. So if you
Speaker 2: whether it's one of those whether you think you can
Speaker 2: or you think you can't, you're right that this is
Speaker 2: where that comes in. If you think that you do
Speaker 2: have a right to be somewhere, and if you feel
Speaker 2: like and you do believe in yourself and you are
Speaker 2: worth this process, then you are far more likely to
Speaker 2: live up to that. And it takes passion around something
Speaker 2: to be able to get through that. If you don't
Speaker 2: feel like you have the right to be someplace and
Speaker 2: you don't care about it anyway, Good luck.
Speaker 1: Getting out of that one.
Speaker 2: Like there's you don't even have the will to be
Speaker 2: there to begin with, let alone whether or not you
Speaker 2: think you should be. But in order to get through
Speaker 2: the potential imposter syndrome or having difficulty knowing you're worth,
Speaker 2: it has to at the very least be around something
Speaker 2: you're passionate about doing so you can push through it.
Speaker 1: Because it's it's not a.
Speaker 2: Problem that it's there. It's a problem if you can't
Speaker 2: push through it. In fact, if it's there, it might
Speaker 2: it can be a good thing. It could be a
Speaker 2: good check and balance on yourself to where you can
Speaker 2: start thinking about do I have the right to be here?
Speaker 2: And it's not just because you need to be able
Speaker 2: to recognize when you do. Doesn't mean you should stop
Speaker 2: asking the question, because in some situations you very well
Speaker 2: may not have a right to be somewhere right. So,
Speaker 2: so knowing your worth and being able to ask those
Speaker 2: questions of yourself and get the right answers, get the
Speaker 2: self aware answers, it requires passion around that thing so
Speaker 2: that you can you make sure you're being honest with yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I.
Speaker 3: Think too, you know, it's knowing your worth and then
Speaker 3: feeling worthy, right, are kind of two different things. I agree.
Speaker 3: You know, it speaks about this in the article a
Speaker 3: little bit as well. But like the importance of having
Speaker 3: people in your life that view you as worthy and
Speaker 3: help you feel like you're bringing value and that you
Speaker 3: have worth.
Speaker 1: I think it's really really critical.
Speaker 3: It kind of ties back to, you know, a previous
Speaker 3: episode when we talked about the importance of like having
Speaker 3: a mentor to coach, but having those people in your
Speaker 3: life that that help to you know, that help to say, hey, no, no,
Speaker 3: you're making the right decisions here right, Like, like I
Speaker 3: see and I understand, and I have a belief in
Speaker 3: you that I know that you're fully worthy of being here,
Speaker 3: that I know that you are fully capable of delivering
Speaker 3: on what you're working on, that I know that you're
Speaker 3: going to be a tremendous leader. Like, those types of
Speaker 3: things are super duper important when it comes to you know,
Speaker 3: sometimes we all need that validation. Sometimes we need that person.
Speaker 3: Sometimes we get caught up in our own heads when
Speaker 3: you have a big passion for something and maybe it's
Speaker 3: not going the way you want it to go, or
Speaker 3: it's not moving as fast as you wanted to move,
Speaker 3: or you're running into.
Speaker 1: A bunch of hurdles.
Speaker 3: You know, it's human nature to kind of, you know,
Speaker 3: kind of question yourself and think about it and be like,
Speaker 3: am I capable of doing this? Is this?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Is this really?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Is this something that I should be able to accomplish?
Speaker 3: And having people that see you and value you and
Speaker 3: help you to remember that you're doing some great work
Speaker 3: even if it doesn't feel like you're having the outcomes
Speaker 3: that you want. I think is a really really important
Speaker 3: piece of that. So I think, like, besides besides believing
Speaker 3: in yourself, besides feeling.
Speaker 1: Like you're you're you're you're worthy.
Speaker 3: Having people surround you that that that provides you with
Speaker 3: some of that kind of filling your bucket from time
Speaker 3: to time I think is really really important.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I want to caveat it with
Speaker 1: something though, I want.
Speaker 2: I want to say that, yes, that that is important,
Speaker 2: but it has to be something that they can root
Speaker 2: in reality, like actual examples of why you are worthy, uh,
Speaker 2: and that this is this the whole, Like, you know what,
Speaker 2: what's more important self esteem or doing the things needed
Speaker 2: to get self esteem right. If if the importance is
Speaker 2: just knowing you're worthy, you can surround yourself with people
Speaker 2: all the time who will say you're good enough, you're
Speaker 2: smart enough, and dog on it, people like you.
Speaker 1: But but that.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that that only works if someone is you know, uh,
Speaker 2: is kind of just inherently down for the moment and
Speaker 2: they need to be.
Speaker 1: Kind of picked up a little bit.
Speaker 2: If you're talking about whether or not a person has
Speaker 2: the ability to do a job and to do it well,
Speaker 2: or whether they're prepared for another role or a promotion
Speaker 2: or a stretch assignment or something like that, that knowing
Speaker 2: they're worthy of that that will never happen for them
Speaker 2: just by you saying you're good enough, go for it,
Speaker 2: you should do it. You need to root those words
Speaker 2: in actual real world experience.
Speaker 1: That that is leading you to believe that they are
Speaker 1: worthy of it.
Speaker 2: And so a great example of this, you know, there
Speaker 2: was a role that that was suggested to me in
Speaker 2: an organization to reach out for and I was talking
Speaker 2: with a person in my a colleague of mine who's
Speaker 2: very important to me, and said, this is ridiculous that
Speaker 2: someone would suggest I do this. Uh, look at the
Speaker 2: what look at what the requirements of the role are.
Speaker 2: You know, this is what they're asking for. I've never
Speaker 2: done this and this and this and this, And the
Speaker 2: person I was talking to she said, of course you've
Speaker 2: done this and this and this and this and and
Speaker 2: she phrased it in a way that took the things
Speaker 2: that I absolutely have done, like the things that I
Speaker 2: have accomplished and the projects I have managed to completion
Speaker 2: and the work that I.
Speaker 1: Have done, and said, well, you've done this. What's the
Speaker 1: difference in this in this? Like what's what do you?
Speaker 2: You say you've ever done this before, but I'm saying
Speaker 2: you have You've done it in this way. And the
Speaker 2: tie in there was like, oh, like I the way
Speaker 2: I was reading this to me says that I don't
Speaker 2: have the experience to do this thing. And she was
Speaker 2: able to articulate it in a way that said, no,
Speaker 2: you do have it. You just aren't looking at the
Speaker 2: work that you've done in the right way, but you
Speaker 2: do have that work. And because it was grounded in
Speaker 2: actual real things that I know got done, it just
Speaker 2: kind of flipped my perspective on that interaction. That's what
Speaker 2: is needed, so it's not just you're good enough, you
Speaker 2: should do this. It's here's why, here's what you've done
Speaker 2: and why you've accomplished this, and now this is why
Speaker 2: I believe that that you have the ability to do
Speaker 2: that same thing.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's a great point. And with that it brings
Speaker 3: us to this episodes one Minute Hack. But first a
Speaker 3: few words from our sponsors.
Speaker 1: All right, for this episode one minute Hackers wanted you
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: If you're listening to this show, we have to start
Speaker 2: with the assumption that you are passionate about being a
Speaker 2: better leader and being a better coach for people. So
Speaker 2: the first thing you need to do is write down
Speaker 2: why why are you passionate about doing this. Obviously, if
Speaker 2: the answer is because you want the title and you
Speaker 2: want more money, then you should probably rethink things. But
Speaker 2: once you've written down the reasons why you're passionate about
Speaker 2: leading coaching others, and no one can give that to you,
Speaker 2: you have to kind of figure that out on your own,
Speaker 2: do some soul searching around that, and write down those reasons.
Speaker 2: Those reasons are needed to remind you why you're doing
Speaker 2: the thing that you're doing that you're not doing it
Speaker 2: so that you can coach people. You're not doing it
Speaker 2: so that you can lead people. You're doing it for
Speaker 2: something else. What is that reason and why? And the
Speaker 2: next thing you need to do is surround yourself with
Speaker 2: people who value.
Speaker 1: Those exact same things.
Speaker 2: Not people who also value leadership or can lead, Not
Speaker 2: people who also value coaching or can coach, but people
Speaker 2: who value the things that you articulated as the reasons
Speaker 2: why you are passionate about leading coaching people. Those are
Speaker 2: the people who will inherently see the things that you
Speaker 2: do and can validate your worth and help you get
Speaker 2: through the times when you think you can't get something
Speaker 2: done or that you shouldn't be in the room, because
Speaker 2: if the people you surround yourself with don't share those
Speaker 2: values with you, they're not on the lookout for them
Speaker 2: to begin with. Whereas that the people who do share
Speaker 2: those values with you, they don't even need to be
Speaker 2: on the lookout for them. Their feelers are out all
Speaker 2: the time for them. They inherently see them in action
Speaker 2: and feel them coming from you in your interactions anyway,
Speaker 2: And they want you to do much thinking to come
Speaker 2: up with reasons why you should be somewhere or why
Speaker 2: you shouldn't. You know, that you're worthy to be in
Speaker 2: a role that you're in or taking on an assignment.
Speaker 2: So so know those passions, why you want to be there,
Speaker 2: what the values are behind them, and then and then
Speaker 2: make sure as many people are around you as possible
Speaker 2: who share those exact same things. Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I think it's a great hack.
Speaker 1: And again it's.
Speaker 3: How you clearly understand what it is that you enjoy
Speaker 3: about the world, that you want to do and why
Speaker 3: you're so drawn to the work. I think is such
Speaker 3: an important piece in the context of leadership, and then
Speaker 3: finding people to your point that align with that, finding
Speaker 3: people that also see leadership and see the role and
Speaker 3: see the things that you're doing as something that relates
Speaker 3: to them as well. It makes the experience so much
Speaker 3: better and it makes the ability to work through the
Speaker 3: difficulties a lot smoother, because there's going to be difficulties,
Speaker 3: there's going to be hurdles, there's going to be things
Speaker 3: that you have to learn through experience, there's going to
Speaker 3: be mistakes that you make, and being clear about why
Speaker 3: you have a passion for what you do that's going
Speaker 3: to be a part of helping you to work through them.
Speaker 3: And then having those around you that see your value,
Speaker 3: that see your worth, and that are aligned with those
Speaker 3: passions is really kind of the thing that helps to
Speaker 3: break through it very very quickly and move on so
Speaker 3: that you can learn quickly and then adapt and then
Speaker 3: be able to continue to be a better leader.
Speaker 2: Right, and if the people who you've done a good
Speaker 2: job surrounding yourself with who share the same values as
Speaker 2: you and you have that trusting relationship, if they are
Speaker 2: telling you maybe this is not right for you yet,
Speaker 2: maybe you should be thinking about doing other things first,
Speaker 2: or you should kind of work on this before you
Speaker 2: reach out or raise your hand and say you want
Speaker 2: to do this, then maybe you should listen to them.
Speaker 2: But again, the whether or not you are able to
Speaker 2: take their advice in a way that is, whether you
Speaker 2: should follow their advice, it depends wholly on whether they're
Speaker 2: giving that advice because they genuinely want you to succeed,
Speaker 2: or if they are just kind of, you know, looking
Speaker 2: out for their own best interests or what would serve
Speaker 2: them well based on the role that you that you
Speaker 2: are in, and so the being able to trust that's
Speaker 2: happening is a very important thing and the best way
Speaker 2: to be able to do that is to do it
Speaker 2: for them to so that the relationships have to be reciprocal.
Speaker 2: And so if you're asking people to help validate your worth,
Speaker 2: you need to validate theirs too. So those are the
Speaker 2: relationships that you'll carry with you through your entire career.
Speaker 3: Absolutely and with that it brings us to the end
Speaker 3: of this episode. This is hacking your leadership.
Speaker 1: I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you
Speaker 1: all next time.