WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:03.759 What dark secret are you hiding from everyone? Story one, 2 00:00:04.200 --> 00:00:06.200 last Christmas, I lean my sister and I don't have 3 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:09.599 the same father and are technically half sisters. My sister's 4 00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:13.080 biological father tried to start a relationship with my mom 5 00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:16.000 that resulted in a pregnancy and ultimately didn't work out. 6 00:00:16.679 --> 00:00:19.480 That biological father is dead now, but I didn't probe 7 00:00:19.480 --> 00:00:22.000 any further about his identity or how he passed away 8 00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:24.839 in case it was something traumatic for my mom to remember. 9 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:27.160 So she raised my sister as a single mother at 10 00:00:27.160 --> 00:00:29.839 my grandma's house in the eighties. Then she met my 11 00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:32.439 father and they started dating and it worked out because 12 00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:35.719 they got married in the nineties, moved into a new house, 13 00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:38.520 and a short time after that, I was born. She 14 00:00:38.640 --> 00:00:41.200 told me never call my sister my half sister, and 15 00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:43.799 just pretend all of this doesn't matter, because she's my 16 00:00:43.880 --> 00:00:46.719 sister and I'm keeping it that way, And if anyone 17 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:49.000 asks about the ten year age gap, I just tell 18 00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:52.679 them it's a long story. Story two. I'm the spitting 19 00:00:52.719 --> 00:00:55.560 image of my grandpa on my dad's side. Both my 20 00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:57.880 parents are almost a foot shorter than me, but I'm 21 00:00:57.920 --> 00:01:00.719 almost the same height as him. When my mother got 22 00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:03.200 sick when I was a kid. My grandpa went to 23 00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:06.400 visit her daily for extended periods of time in the hospital. 24 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:09.480 In his final months. She did the same. After he passed. 25 00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:11.319 We found out he kept a whole other family on 26 00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:13.640 the side in secret too. Looking back at my dad's 27 00:01:13.680 --> 00:01:16.719 military deployment history, it would also be dicey if she 28 00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:19.280 could have gotten pregnant by him around the appropriate time. 29 00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:22.560 Based on a collection of various hunches, I'm fairly convinced 30 00:01:22.599 --> 00:01:24.640 I'm the product of an affair between my mother and 31 00:01:24.680 --> 00:01:29.040 supposed grandfather. More disturbingly, this would probably be one of 32 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:33.359 the most lighthearted revelations about my family. Story three. When 33 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:36.359 I was young, probably around age nine or ten, I 34 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:38.640 was walking home with my dog from a house around 35 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.480 the block when he cut the corner and walked diagonally 36 00:01:41.519 --> 00:01:43.959 through the yard of this super mean old lady who 37 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:45.640 live at the end of your street. She was in 38 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:48.280 her yard at the time, tending to these really fancy 39 00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:50.920 looking rose bushes she had growing in beds along the 40 00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:53.799 border with her neighbor. My dog was a very friendly 41 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:56.879 Golden retriever who didn't even really come near her and 42 00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:59.879 certainly didn't do anything threatening, but she sprayed the fun 43 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:02.480 budge out of him with some kind of insecticide or 44 00:02:02.519 --> 00:02:05.480 other chemical she was using on her roses. I ran 45 00:02:05.560 --> 00:02:07.840 back home with the dog and hosed him off. He 46 00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:10.919 coughed a bunch, but seemed otherwise fine. I didn't tell 47 00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:13.680 my parents because somehow I thought I was going to 48 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:16.240 get into trouble for letting the dog walk in her yard. 49 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.400 I'm glad I didn't tell them, though, because I decided 50 00:02:19.400 --> 00:02:22.400 that night to sneak downstairs, out the half bath window 51 00:02:22.719 --> 00:02:24.639 and down the street to her yard, where I cut 52 00:02:24.680 --> 00:02:27.120 down every goddamn rose bush I could get my hands on. 53 00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:30.080 Story four. I've struggled with disordered eating for at least 54 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:33.439 a decade. It ebbs and flows. I know it's unhealthy, 55 00:02:33.439 --> 00:02:35.479 but the toxic part of me loves the feeling of 56 00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:38.199 being empty. Several years ago, it was really bad. I 57 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:40.560 was at my lowest weight ever. I had brain fog, 58 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:44.080 difficulty breathing. When I started eating again, my stomach would 59 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:46.840 get really bloated, even if I only ate a small amount. 60 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:49.199 I gained weight in the last year or so, and 61 00:02:49.240 --> 00:02:51.800 my depression and anxiety got really bad for a while. 62 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.599 My family thinks I don't want to spend time with them. However, 63 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:57.520 I just wanted to stay home because trying on my 64 00:02:57.560 --> 00:02:59.680 clothes and the idea of being in public made me 65 00:02:59.719 --> 00:03:02.680 want to terminate myself. It was easier on me intellectually 66 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:04.919 to just stay home. I can feel myself slipping back 67 00:03:04.919 --> 00:03:08.599 into my old disordered eating habits. Unfortunately. Story five. A 68 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:11.159 man broke into my home about ten years ago, well 69 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:13.719 kind of. He knocked. I answered the door, and he 70 00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:16.680 pushed his way in. He spoke about the four horsemen 71 00:03:16.680 --> 00:03:19.159 of the apocalypse and tried to extort me for protection 72 00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:21.599 or he and his brothers of doom would come and 73 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:24.639 terminate me. He was huge, ex navy, if he was 74 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:27.759 to be believed, drunk as hell, hand covered in blood, 75 00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:30.759 holding a broken bottle. I was terrified. I told him 76 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:34.360 to leave. He wouldn't. He was getting aggressive. I told 77 00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:36.560 him I would splatter his brains against the wall if 78 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:39.919 he didn't. I didn't have a gun at the time. Anyway, 79 00:03:40.039 --> 00:03:42.520 he didn't leave. I went into my kitchen and grabbed 80 00:03:42.520 --> 00:03:45.120 a knife and sliced at him a few times. He 81 00:03:45.159 --> 00:03:48.360 staggered away, seemingly okay. I assumed he was all right, 82 00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:51.479 just wounded a bit. I never saw him again. A 83 00:03:51.479 --> 00:03:53.840 neighbor told me days later a man was found dead, 84 00:03:54.039 --> 00:03:56.199 some wounds on his arms. I can only guess he 85 00:03:56.280 --> 00:03:59.000 bled out, but I never got questioned. Somehow, there was 86 00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:01.280 a lot of blood in and around my house. I 87 00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:03.199 lived in a pretty seedy area, so I guess the 88 00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:06.719 cops just didn't care. The guy was apparently a repeat criminal. 89 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.400 I terminated a man, at least indirectly, and have never 90 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:12.639 told anybody story. Six. When I was younger, I lived 91 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:16.199 with my grandmother. Not long after I turned eighteen, her 92 00:04:16.199 --> 00:04:19.560 health started to decline, that sort of decline that you 93 00:04:19.639 --> 00:04:21.920 no means she won't be around for much longer. Over 94 00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:23.639 the months, I did my best to take care of her, 95 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:27.519 getting her to the hospital when she needed and other things. 96 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:29.800 We had someone coming every day to help her with 97 00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:32.160 things I couldn't well. What my family doesn't know is 98 00:04:32.199 --> 00:04:34.480 that the night she passed, I was in the living 99 00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:37.480 room watching TV. My dog was in bed with my grandma, 100 00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:40.160 and I started to hear him whimper and bark. I 101 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:42.920 knew what was happening. I knew that if I acted, 102 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:45.720 I could potentially save her. I didn't want to watch 103 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:47.920 her suffer anymore, though, to watch her live with so 104 00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:51.439 much pain and unable to do anything for herself anymore. 105 00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:53.560 So I made the choice to let her pass before 106 00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:57.079 making any calls. She lived ninety two years, and the 107 00:04:57.079 --> 00:04:59.519 only regret I have is that she passed a month 108 00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:01.639 after I. I would have graduated if I hadn't been 109 00:05:01.720 --> 00:05:03.600 kicked out of school, she had been in good enough 110 00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:06.279 health at the time to go to my graduation. I 111 00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:09.439 still kicked myself for how stupid I was back then. Edit, 112 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:12.240 I didn't expect this much support. Thanks. I'm not to 113 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:14.279 torn up about letting her pass. I knew it was 114 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:17.120 for the best. She was such a great person. She 115 00:05:17.160 --> 00:05:19.480 didn't deserve to live in such a poor manner any 116 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.839 longer than she already had. I don't regret what I did. 117 00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:25.000 I regret what I had done that got me kicked 118 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:27.000 out of school. That I didn't try and make it 119 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:29.720 to graduation for her. I think I've lived my life 120 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:31.360 so far in a way that she'd be proud of. 121 00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:34.600 Not graduating before she passed is the only regret I 122 00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:37.319 really have in this life so far. And I'm thirty 123 00:05:37.319 --> 00:05:41.000 five now, so I think I'm doing pretty good. Story seven. 124 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:44.279 It's not my secret, but my mom's and I'm not 125 00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:47.199 hiding it from everyone, just the person who it potentially 126 00:05:47.240 --> 00:05:49.600 matters to the most. When my mom was in high 127 00:05:49.600 --> 00:05:52.560 school in the sixties, she had a long term, serious 128 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:56.120 boyfriend named Jimmy. They were each other's first They were 129 00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:59.040 together for years and were planning on getting married. He 130 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.319 went away to college, my mom stayed behind, but they 131 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:04.759 were still together. You know what happened next. He cheated 132 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:07.319 and got the new girl pregnant. He comes home to 133 00:06:07.319 --> 00:06:10.240 break the news to my mom. Abortion was not legal 134 00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:12.759 at the time. He basically says that he wants to 135 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:15.000 be with my mom, but he has no choice but 136 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.439 to marry this other girl. My mom was devastated. Here's 137 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:21.000 the secret. My mom was also pregnant by him, but 138 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:23.720 hadn't told him yet. She decided she wasn't ever going 139 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:26.160 to tell him. Jimmy went on to marry the other 140 00:06:26.199 --> 00:06:28.920 girl and never knew my mom was also pregnant. She 141 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:31.040 told me that she later threw herself down a flight 142 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:34.600 of stairs to cause a miscarriage. My mom actually reconnected 143 00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:37.399 with Jimmy during the early days of Facebook. She didn't 144 00:06:37.399 --> 00:06:39.199 have an account, but asked me to look for him 145 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:41.839 using mine. He was still married to the same person 146 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:45.160 my mom was married to my dad. They wrote to 147 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:48.680 each other for a while using my account. Ugh signed 148 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:51.800 their messages saying I love you. My mom passed away 149 00:06:51.800 --> 00:06:54.480 a number of years ago. I think about this knowledge 150 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:57.319 I have that Jimmy doesn't this major life event, thing 151 00:06:57.360 --> 00:06:59.839 that he doesn't even know happened, that could have changed 152 00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:03.160 the trajectory of many lives. I'm certainly not going to 153 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:06.360 tell him. It's not my secret to tell. Edit. There 154 00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:08.040 seems to be a part of the story that I 155 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:11.319 didn't make clear enough. My mom had a miscarriage and 156 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:14.240 never had that baby. It was an intentional miscarriage by 157 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:17.480 throwing herself down the stairs. Jimmy is not my father. 158 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:20.720 Story eight. My wife, her mom, and I bought a 159 00:07:20.759 --> 00:07:23.759 house about two years ago. Just from talking to the neighbors, 160 00:07:23.800 --> 00:07:26.360 I'd gathered that the family who lived here before had 161 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:28.680 a daughter that was mixed up with the wrong people. 162 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:31.519 We had some random person knock on our door at 163 00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:34.839 night saying he needed gas. We are down a long driveway, 164 00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:37.120 no way you'd randomly walk up to our house to 165 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:39.519 ask for help. I think he was looking for the 166 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.160 people who used to live here, and then another time, 167 00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:44.920 Sunday morning, making pancakes for the family, I get a 168 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:47.759 knock on the door and it's four sheriff's officers saying 169 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:50.600 they received a nine hundred and eleven call that hung 170 00:07:50.680 --> 00:07:53.240 up and it was from the house. We don't have 171 00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:55.800 a landline, and I assured them my wife and two 172 00:07:55.879 --> 00:07:58.279 year old did not make any call. They mentioned a 173 00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:00.680 name of the previous occupants, and I let them know 174 00:08:00.759 --> 00:08:03.160 we moved in earlier this year, and they seemed okay 175 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:06.160 with that and left. Anyways, I was doing some yard 176 00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:08.879 work and struck up conversation with the neighbor. He saw 177 00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:11.639 the police cars and asked what was up. I told 178 00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:14.600 him the situation, and he just goes, oh, yeah, that 179 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:17.759 family was messed up. The cops were probably being cautious 180 00:08:17.800 --> 00:08:20.920 considering the shooting. What shooting? I ask. He kind of 181 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:23.879 looks at me with a sad, worried face. The shooting 182 00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:27.160 in your house? Wait what I say? Truly baffled. He 183 00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:29.879 then proceeds to tell me that about two years before, 184 00:08:29.879 --> 00:08:32.639 the father in the house confronted his daughter and boyfriend 185 00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:35.559 he didn't like and shot and terminated the boyfriend in 186 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:38.399 the house. Our state doesn't have a disclosure law, so 187 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:41.759 we never knew. I was blown away. All the strange 188 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:44.600 happenings kind of made sense now. He said the frames 189 00:08:44.600 --> 00:08:46.720 of the victim had kind of terrorized them for a 190 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.919 while because the police were taking so long to press charges. 191 00:08:50.200 --> 00:08:53.720 Slashed tears, midnight fireworks, odd cow that the neighbors hated. 192 00:08:54.159 --> 00:08:57.480 I was shocked, but just said that's crazy. But hey, 193 00:08:57.559 --> 00:08:59.840 do me a favor and never tell my wife or 194 00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:03.360 about that. They are a little spooked by things like that. 195 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:06.000 So the TRDL is that we live in a murder 196 00:09:06.039 --> 00:09:08.720 house and I'm the only one of my family that knows. 197 00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:12.279 Story nine. I found my adoption papers a few years 198 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:13.919 ago when I was looking for a copy of my 199 00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:16.919 birth certificate. I know my birth mom, I just never 200 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:20.120 had a relationship with her. My maternal grandmother took me 201 00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:22.320 in in two thousand and two. I never knew she 202 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:25.600 adopted me. I just knew that one day I ended 203 00:09:25.679 --> 00:09:27.559 up living with her after telling her one day I 204 00:09:27.559 --> 00:09:29.840 don't want to go back home, Loel. I also found 205 00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:31.519 the letter that my mom wrote as to why she 206 00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:34.639 was giving me up. That one really hurt. EDIT didn't 207 00:09:34.639 --> 00:09:37.240 expect this many upvotes, honestly, Lowell Thank you everyone for 208 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:41.200 your kind words. My grandma is really the sweetest person ever. 209 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:44.240 I'm forever grateful for her. But I just wanted to say, 210 00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:47.080 now that I'm older, I understand why my mom did 211 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:49.840 what she did, and believe it or not, we actually 212 00:09:49.879 --> 00:09:53.440 have a cordial relationship now. Lol. Edit too, this brought 213 00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:56.320 back some unsettling feelings I thought I was over lol, 214 00:09:56.679 --> 00:09:58.399 But I want to thank you guys for your own 215 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:02.000 stories and kind words. They made me realize that I'm 216 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:04.399 not the only one who had a rough life growing up, 217 00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:06.720 and I shouldn't let that stop me from healing and 218 00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:08.840 being the best that I can be. This has been 219 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:10.639 one of the worst years of my life. I've been 220 00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:14.759 taking loss after loss, and I honestly felt like unaliving myself. 221 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:16.879 I kept coming back to read the comments, and I 222 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:19.639 see how strong everyone is and didn't let what they 223 00:10:19.679 --> 00:10:22.039 went through stop them from doing better. So I just 224 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:24.039 wanted to say that I've made an appointment to start 225 00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:27.080 therapy again and I'm going to be completely honest about 226 00:10:27.080 --> 00:10:29.519 how I truly feel and open up more. Thank you 227 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:33.840 so much. Reddit. Also, i haven't been the best granddaughter lately, 228 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:36.440 so I'm spending more quality time with my grandma and 229 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:39.879 helping her out with whatever she needs. Story ten, My 230 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:42.360 grandma was in a car accident and broke her ankle, 231 00:10:42.440 --> 00:10:44.720 so she stayed at my house and my mom we 232 00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:48.000 took care of her while she recovered. I was entering 233 00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:50.919 puberty at the time and discovered that you could order 234 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:54.279 censored photos on cable and was like a madman ordering 235 00:10:54.360 --> 00:10:57.559 censored photos. The bill that month came out to five 236 00:10:57.639 --> 00:11:00.480 hundred dollars. My mom thought it was my grandma because 237 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.679 her novelas were on like channel fifty sixty and the 238 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:08.120 censored photos was five hundred, six hundred limb fau. I've 239 00:11:08.120 --> 00:11:11.399 literally never told anyone to this day. Ta I am 240 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:15.240 Latina and close relationship. Censored photos for women is still 241 00:11:15.240 --> 00:11:17.559 pretty taboo in my culture, so that's why I'm so 242 00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:20.320 scared to tell anyone. Even if my mom and I 243 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:23.879 are pretty open with each other, I'm still embarrassed. However, 244 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.480 my grandma passed away in twenty nineteen and I felt 245 00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:29.320 compelled to tell my secret. But my mom sees that 246 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:31.559 story as a funny memory she has of my grandma 247 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.440 that she likes to look back on and laugh about. 248 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:37.279 So idk if I should? Lol? Story eleven. In high school, 249 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.840 I was a super good kid, straight a student who 250 00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:42.720 loved homework, keeping out of trouble, and who was quiet 251 00:11:42.759 --> 00:11:45.799 as hell during class. So anyway, there was this guy 252 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:48.000 who was also in ap classes with me, but he 253 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:51.120 was super loud and obnoxious, but would pull stunts in 254 00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:53.120 such a way that he would have some margin of 255 00:11:53.159 --> 00:11:56.159 plausible deniability. Though we never spoke, I'm not sure he 256 00:11:56.200 --> 00:11:59.000 even knew I existed. He rubbed me the wrong way. 257 00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:01.720 Maybe it was from the one cold day when this 258 00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:04.879 other girl in our class had her ball poking through 259 00:12:04.919 --> 00:12:07.840 her shirt bc she forgot a sweater, and he kept 260 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:11.600 saying to her, damn, it's cold. Huh. Maybe it was 261 00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:13.759 from when he would pretend to be friends with kid 262 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:16.960 who was definitely spectrum and desperate to be friends with him, 263 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:19.240 to do the bullies homework for him and then bully 264 00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:22.759 him the next day, bid day. So at random, sometimes 265 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:24.679 once a week or a month, or once every couple 266 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:27.840 of months, I would whistle. It's this high pitched whistle 267 00:12:27.840 --> 00:12:29.720 that sounds like a tea kettle that I can do 268 00:12:29.759 --> 00:12:32.720 while barely moving my mouth. Back then, no one knew 269 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:34.960 I could do it, except for my family the super 270 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:38.639 obnoxious kid always got in trouble. I was never once suspected. 271 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:41.799 Story twelve. I was married for thirteen years to my 272 00:12:41.879 --> 00:12:44.320 best friend. We had what I thought was a great, 273 00:12:44.399 --> 00:12:47.960 easy marriage. One day, our five year daughter told me 274 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.840 he was having her perform oral close relationship on him. 275 00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:53.679 I was shocked, devastated, and afraid. He was one of 276 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:56.639 those fun guys everyone loves to be around. I immediately 277 00:12:56.639 --> 00:12:58.919 called the police, and he was arrest When they started 278 00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:01.600 investigating him, they found out that he had been arrested 279 00:13:01.639 --> 00:13:05.039 while in college for exposing himself to very young boys. 280 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:07.240 He only got a slap on the wrist that time 281 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:10.120 because he came from a very wealthy family. One of 282 00:13:10.120 --> 00:13:12.159 his uncles was governor of the state we lived in. 283 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:14.559 I was so ashamed. I told our friends that he 284 00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:17.360 had an affair and moved away, but the truth was 285 00:13:17.399 --> 00:13:19.919 that he was in prison for five years. I picked 286 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.480 up the pieces, sent our daughter to therapy, and spent 287 00:13:22.519 --> 00:13:25.960 the next fifteen years being a mother, paying for private school, 288 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:28.879 cool trips, et cetera. She was my life. Then, when 289 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.320 she went to college, he reached out to her over Facebook. 290 00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:34.399 When I saw she was communicating with him, I was shocked, devastated, 291 00:13:34.440 --> 00:13:37.360 and afraid all over again. I called and told her 292 00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:39.440 that she was an adult, but I thought she should 293 00:13:39.480 --> 00:13:42.240 be careful because he's not safe. She hung up on 294 00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:44.480 me and has not spoken to me since that was 295 00:13:44.519 --> 00:13:47.200 four years ago. I send her forty thousand dollars a 296 00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:50.039 year still to pay for her medical school. It's all 297 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:53.120 been almost unbelievable. Thank you for allowing me to share 298 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:56.399 it here. Story thirteen. The only person in my life 299 00:13:56.399 --> 00:13:58.840 who knows this story is my husband. When I was eight, 300 00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:01.240 I was desperate to be liked by the older boys 301 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:03.559 on the street. I was the youngest boy other than 302 00:14:03.559 --> 00:14:05.960 a baby or two on the block, so I rarely 303 00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:08.519 had any boys to play with. When I was noticed 304 00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:11.279 by an older boy nineteen, a senior in high school, 305 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:14.480 I was thrilled. He I'll call him Mike, saw me 306 00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:16.519 riding my bike up and down the street one day 307 00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:19.120 while he was outside playing basketball with a friend of his, 308 00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:22.200 who I will call Sean. Together, they stopped me and 309 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:25.039 talk to me about school, about my bike, and other 310 00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:28.519 random cow Then Mike invited me inside for a cola. 311 00:14:29.159 --> 00:14:31.600 Since my parents didn't keep soda in the house often, 312 00:14:31.879 --> 00:14:34.919 this was a treat once inside my can of cola 313 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.799 in my hand, Mike and Sean started turning the conversation 314 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.399 to things I didn't understand. I don't remember exactly what 315 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:44.039 they talked about, but I do remember a lot of 316 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:48.320 questions about my body, my banana, whether I got erections, 317 00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:50.840 and if I had ever seen an older boy's banana. 318 00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:53.440 This turned into them taking their pants off and urging 319 00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:55.519 me to do the same. I didn't want to, but 320 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:57.799 Mike knew I was an insecure little kid. He turned 321 00:14:57.799 --> 00:15:00.240 on the manipulation. Oh well, I thought you they were 322 00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:03.399 cool faustus. I guess not. I don't talk to boys 323 00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:06.399 who aren't cool that kind of cow. I did what 324 00:15:06.440 --> 00:15:09.480 they asked from that point on, afraid to be uncool 325 00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:13.159 and not have older boys to talk to anymore. That day, 326 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:15.320 all they made me do was touch them. But for 327 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:18.200 months afterward, until Mike went away to college, I was 328 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:21.720 used by them. Most often it was just Mike about 329 00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:25.200 half the time, though Sean was involved. He seemed less 330 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:28.440 gung ho about assaulting me than Mike did. Without going 331 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:31.600 into details, if you can imagine something close relationship a 332 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.679 nineteen year old could do to an eight year old, 333 00:15:34.120 --> 00:15:36.159 he did it to me. The weirdest part about it 334 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:38.679 all was though I hated it when it was happening, 335 00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:41.440 I missed it when it was over. I felt special 336 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:43.480 when Mike would invite me into his house when he 337 00:15:43.559 --> 00:15:46.240 left for college, and when Shawn completely ignored me. After 338 00:15:46.279 --> 00:15:49.679 Mike was gone, I felt lonely and unwanted again. I 339 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:53.279 never told my parents to this day, more than thirty 340 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.679 years after the fact, they don't know that it happened. 341 00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:58.759 Mike and Shawn never faced any sort of repercussions for 342 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:00.799 what they did to me, though. Oh in a small 343 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:03.480 bit of justice, Mike did end up going to prison 344 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:05.679 about ten years ago for doing the same thing to 345 00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:08.039 another boy. There are probably more than just that boy 346 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.200 and me, but at least he finally got caught for 347 00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:13.759 hurting someone. Story fourteen. When I was around five or six, 348 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.000 my mom and dad were fighting just about every day. 349 00:16:16.679 --> 00:16:18.639 While I was napping on the couch when my mom 350 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:21.200 came in very upset and she shook me away. She 351 00:16:21.240 --> 00:16:23.759 asked me if I saw the girl my dad brought home. 352 00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.879 I've always felt terrible for this BC I hadn't seen 353 00:16:26.919 --> 00:16:29.720 anyone but my dad that whole day. I'm pretty sure 354 00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.200 he was just playing video games like usual, but for 355 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:35.200 some reason in my sleepy kid brain, I answered yes, 356 00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:37.679 I said she was with him in their room. I'm 357 00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:39.919 honestly not sure why I lied like that, but they 358 00:16:39.919 --> 00:16:42.399 got a divorce shortly after, and I always felt like 359 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:44.639 it was my fault until I recently found out my 360 00:16:44.679 --> 00:16:47.759 little sister is actually my half sister. But that's a 361 00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:50.720 whole other story. Edit for clarification. My dad had been 362 00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:53.720 cheating with my mom's sister and my mom was cheating 363 00:16:53.720 --> 00:16:56.039 with one of their friends to get back at him. 364 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:58.399 She thought he was cheating with a different girl, but 365 00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.879 found out later it was my ane. Honestly, their relationship 366 00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:04.359 was on its way out. I don't feel bad about 367 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:06.440 it now since a few years ago we found out 368 00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:08.799 my little sister is my half sister from the affair 369 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:13.519 my mom had. Story fifteen. This first part isn't exactly dark, 370 00:17:13.839 --> 00:17:15.559 but when I was a kid around nine or so, 371 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:17.799 my cousin, who was twelve at the time, would make 372 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:20.559 out with me. I didn't really know better at that age, 373 00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:22.680 but thought I'd be in trouble if I talked about it. 374 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.200 For whatever reason, About six years went by before I 375 00:17:25.240 --> 00:17:29.079 saw him again, and it was never brought up, never mentioned. 376 00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:31.960 He was like a totally different person. I sometimes wonder 377 00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:35.000 if it even happened. My memory isn't very reliable, and 378 00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:37.039 it was so long ago now I'm in my twenty 379 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:39.720 ass Fast forward a little bit more, and I found 380 00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:41.759 out he passed away a couple of years ago. While 381 00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:46.160 cleaning a gun, accidentally shot himself. My great aunt, who's 382 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:49.440 his grandma and who basically raised him, believes wholeheartedly that 383 00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:52.359 it was an accident, but I suspect it wasn't. He 384 00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:54.799 grew up around guns and knowing how they work and 385 00:17:54.839 --> 00:17:57.759 how to empty them and everything. I find the odds 386 00:17:57.799 --> 00:18:00.559 that he accidentally forgot to empty the chamber pretty low. 387 00:18:01.279 --> 00:18:03.519 I also know he was struggling with depression and brain 388 00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:05.920 damage from a car accident a year prior, but I 389 00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:08.200 won't tell my aunt any of this. I think it 390 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:11.279 would break her heart at it. About the first part, 391 00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:13.720 I don't really know how I feel about it nowadays. 392 00:18:14.279 --> 00:18:17.279 It's just a thing that happened. I struggled with some 393 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.359 weird negative emotions about it for a while, but it's 394 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:22.880 so far gone in the past, and I live half 395 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:25.839 a country away that it's easier to just not think 396 00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:28.599 about it about the second. I know accidentally shooting yourself 397 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:31.119 is more common that it seems, but I have plenty 398 00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:33.359 of reason to believe it was suicide. I don't really 399 00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:36.000 want to break down the paragraphs of details, but he 400 00:18:36.039 --> 00:18:38.880 had a pretty massive accident a year prior, leaving him 401 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.279