Speaker 1: Oh hey, it's the bouncer who pretends to check your idea.
Speaker 1: But who are we kidding? Ali Ward, I'm her. This
Speaker 1: is ologies you're here unless you are my parents, in
Speaker 1: which case please leave. Okay, bye bye? Now okay, all right,
Speaker 1: they're gone. Cool, Okay, So let's get into Dick's with
Speaker 1: an ologist who wrote the actual book on them. She
Speaker 1: has a PhD in Biological sciences from the University of
Speaker 1: Texas at Austin and authored the book Fallacy Life Lessons
Speaker 1: from the Animal Penis. And you have read her words,
Speaker 1: perhaps enjoyed her RYE. Candor in Scientific American American Scientist, Forbes, Slate,
Speaker 1: and more. She's taught biology and genetics. I became aware
Speaker 1: of her book and I begged her to talk boners
Speaker 1: with me. And then life got busy and she gently
Speaker 1: popped up in my inbox And what followed was a
Speaker 1: business email that included the word dong several times in
Speaker 1: all caps. And here we are, so before though we
Speaker 1: get to the nuts and the bolts of inflatable crotches,
Speaker 1: let us say quick thanks to patrons who make the
Speaker 1: show doable. It costs a dollar months to join that club,
Speaker 1: and some bit questions. Also thanks to everyone who's rated
Speaker 1: and hit subscribe on this podcast that matters so much.
Speaker 1: And the reviews, Oh, the reviews. They keep ologies right
Speaker 1: now the number two science show on Apple and I
Speaker 1: read them all. And this week let's read aloud Marma
Speaker 1: the candy bar who called ologies, science, comedy, life, hacks,
Speaker 1: therapy all in one. So get ready for all of
Speaker 1: that and more, including if you stick around, some sex
Speaker 1: tips this week sourced from ologites anonymously, also norm Saxy,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about your pops and as You're weird Internet
Speaker 1: dat I sent hux. Okay, let's get into it. Philology
Speaker 1: it's a word. It is derived from the proto Indo
Speaker 1: European root to swell, which is swell indeed, So buckle up.
Speaker 1: Get ready to hear about pronged dongs, myths about toxic masculinity,
Speaker 1: why an erectile might dysfunct and what to do if
Speaker 1: size really matters? And to whom turtle romance, Sea slug sparring,
Speaker 1: the biggest members of the animal Kingdom, Life beyond a Binary,
Speaker 1: the gift shop that keeps on giving, And reasons you
Speaker 1: might affix a metal dick to your baby Now as
Speaker 1: deep as we went. This whole episode could have just
Speaker 1: been miles long, and we touched on as many penis
Speaker 1: questions as possible. And even as I record this, more
Speaker 1: info is just gushing in. I'll be adding into the
Speaker 1: very very end, So stay tuned for trivia tricks and
Speaker 1: of course just the tips with scientists author and philologist
Speaker 1: doctor Emily Willingham.
Speaker 2: First name is Emily, last name is Willingham, unless you're British,
Speaker 2: in which case apparently it's Willingham and my pronouns or
Speaker 2: she her.
Speaker 1: Wow, philology? Did you know it existed?
Speaker 3: Did I personally know it existed?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2: At some point in my life I did learn of
Speaker 2: its existence.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you call yourself a philologist? No?
Speaker 3: Can you start?
Speaker 1: Because it's great?
Speaker 3: Can you imagine that? I mean, people be like, what
Speaker 3: what do you mean by that?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, tell me a little bit about how
Speaker 1: long your life has involved the dick.
Speaker 2: Let's see so that there's so many ways to answer
Speaker 2: that question. I mean, you know, with sex life or
Speaker 2: research life, or let's start, let's say the research. I'm
Speaker 2: becaus I don't want to get too private for people
Speaker 2: who aren't here to consent to that, I would say,
Speaker 2: you know, I actually started out with gonads because I
Speaker 2: feel like you need to start at the beginning of
Speaker 2: any story. And yeah, so I did my PhD was
Speaker 2: a focus on gonads, but I when I did my
Speaker 2: post doc, what we focused on was penises. So it
Speaker 2: was like two thousand and two when I started getting
Speaker 2: into that.
Speaker 1: Can you tell me about why your research pointed in
Speaker 1: that direction? What was it about gonads and dogs?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's so weird, but I'm just really
Speaker 2: into reproductive biology. I don't know why. I have an
Speaker 2: English degree and when I went to biological sciences. I
Speaker 2: remember I was looking through this like man like pamphlet
Speaker 2: or something from the school I attended was University of
Speaker 2: Texas at Austin, and looking through like what the researchers did,
Speaker 2: you know, like whether they what they focused on?
Speaker 3: I put actually drew little hearts.
Speaker 2: I was way too old to be doing this next
Speaker 2: to these two labs, the pictures of the pis and
Speaker 2: two labs that did this kind of work, and I just,
Speaker 2: I mean, it just that's just what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2: I can't explain it.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: She just loved it. A light bulb went off of
Speaker 1: fire ignited in her soul, and doctor Willingham was like,
Speaker 1: go nats have my whole heart. Is the work? Is
Speaker 1: it very hands on or is it a lot of
Speaker 1: lab work? How does that work?
Speaker 3: It is hands on?
Speaker 2: And actually what that means in a more serious note,
Speaker 2: is that a lot of times it's hands on, you know,
Speaker 2: with animals, and they don't survive the hands on goodness,
Speaker 2: So you know, there's not a lot of selaciousness to it.
Speaker 2: But it is basic research, so you do kind of
Speaker 2: learn about what makes these things tick.
Speaker 1: Did you find that because of what you were studying
Speaker 1: you got a lot of questions from people in your
Speaker 1: social circles? I mean, did you find yourself being introduced
Speaker 1: to dinner parties? Is like this is Emily She said sticks.
Speaker 2: Well, you know no, but I used to write about
Speaker 2: what I did and say, you know, if you start,
Speaker 2: If I started to talk about it parties, feed was
Speaker 2: sort of back away slowly, like what do you do? Well?
Speaker 2: I study gonads and it was just like okay, And
Speaker 2: so I decided maybe that's not a party word, Like
Speaker 2: you shouldn't say gonads at a party. Maybe, And but yeah.
Speaker 2: Now I do actually get a ton of questions from
Speaker 2: people about penises all the time.
Speaker 1: Was it just easier to write a book?
Speaker 3: It's funny.
Speaker 2: It was not easy to write a book, but it
Speaker 2: was incredibly fun to write a book that was this
Speaker 2: stuff is interesting. Can't get away from how interesting it is,
Speaker 2: oh for sure.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure if people do start asking questions, you
Speaker 1: can just say, please.
Speaker 3: Here's a book. I write a book. Can you buy
Speaker 3: the book I wrote?
Speaker 1: So let's I guess start at the base if we shall,
Speaker 1: and can you explain what is a penis or a
Speaker 1: phallis in atomical terms?
Speaker 3: Holy cow?
Speaker 2: So that's a big question because I mean, across the
Speaker 2: animal kingdom, what they're made out of varies enormously. And
Speaker 2: if you're in the world of penis research or the
Speaker 2: Genitalia researchers of the world, you discovered that they actually
Speaker 2: also like to ark you a lot about what actually
Speaker 2: makes a penis, or at least some of them do.
Speaker 2: Maybe we're just bored.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: And so not everything is a penis that we call
Speaker 2: a penis depending on whom you talk to. So if
Speaker 2: you take a human or a mammalian version of this.
Speaker 2: You know, they humans don't have a bone, but a
Speaker 2: lot of mammals do. So there's a bone in the
Speaker 2: bone and that's called the os penis actually, and there's
Speaker 2: let's see, smooth muscle which we can't contract, you know, voluntarily,
Speaker 2: so you know, our body's going to have to do
Speaker 2: that for us. And they have blood vessels, and they
Speaker 2: have spongy tissue that you know, you can get get
Speaker 2: filled with blood as we all might might know, i know,
Speaker 2: be familiar with that. And yeah, and then of course
Speaker 2: there's skin and running through it has skin on it,
Speaker 2: which is good. And then running through running down the
Speaker 2: center of it is a urethra and most commonly that
Speaker 2: exits at the tip of it, and the tip of it,
Speaker 2: you know, there's a little helmet on it. There's a
Speaker 2: foreskin and that's the glands, and then the longer part
Speaker 2: of it's called the shaft.
Speaker 1: So there you have it, like a realator giving you
Speaker 1: a tour of a quaint homichelong. So that's form. Let's
Speaker 1: talk function and then we'll talk fine and does something
Speaker 1: have to be a sperm delivery device to be considered
Speaker 1: a penis?
Speaker 2: So it not really because there no there are things
Speaker 2: that delivers firm that are that don't dot are not penises,
Speaker 2: and it gets very complex.
Speaker 3: So I used to describe penis as a.
Speaker 2: Sperm delivery systems if that was back when I was young,
Speaker 2: beautiful and innocent and didn't know what I was talking about. Somehow,
Speaker 2: still teaching biology to freshmen and the universities. But the
Speaker 2: reality is that lots of different things are used to
Speaker 2: transmit sperm. Sometimes feet in your billipede, for example, And
Speaker 2: sometimes the penis doesn't really do that at all. You
Speaker 2: just sort of load up the penis, you transfer its
Speaker 2: contents to some other body part, and then you insert
Speaker 2: the sperm. So there are lots of ways to get
Speaker 2: that into a partner without using a penis.
Speaker 1: So sometimes the penis is just the cocking gun. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about some quick flim flam. I think obviously culturally
Speaker 1: there's a big binary in terms of like, you have
Speaker 1: a penis, you are a man, it transmits sperm. You
Speaker 1: do not have a penis, you're a woman. But obviously
Speaker 1: in your studies there's a lot of gray areas, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, our problem is a species is. We
Speaker 2: really like to categorize things, and we don't like a
Speaker 2: lot of categories, which is not fans of it. So
Speaker 2: we'd like to make two, and we like to just
Speaker 2: squeeze everything we can into those two categories. You know,
Speaker 2: nature has other ideas. The subtitle of my focused life
Speaker 2: Lessons from the Animal Penis, And one of the lessons
Speaker 2: is is that you know, penises don't make an animal male,
Speaker 2: and not all male animals have them, and in some
Speaker 2: cases animals that make eggs actually have the structure that
Speaker 2: transmits sperm to a partner, inserts into and transmits sperm
Speaker 2: into a partner. And I mean, I think we know
Speaker 2: from being human beings that a penis doesn't make a man,
Speaker 2: and a man doesn't always have a penis. So you know,
Speaker 2: it's way more, way more complicated than the two buckets
Speaker 2: we like so much.
Speaker 1: Hold up, let's back up here. Who does what with
Speaker 1: a what? And what kind of animals were you just
Speaker 1: talking about who have sperm but or who have eggs?
Speaker 1: And what types of animals do that?
Speaker 2: So there are a couple, one is to be pretty
Speaker 2: well known, which is the seahorse, and they don't what
Speaker 2: they use isn't really technically a penis. There I made
Speaker 2: a term in the boat because across different kinds of
Speaker 2: groups of species, people have so many different names for
Speaker 2: these organs. They call them so many different things, and
Speaker 2: so I just needed one term that captured it, and
Speaker 2: so I decided on intro mim because intromission is inserting
Speaker 2: an organ into something and transmitting gammis.
Speaker 1: Once again, that was an intromittent.
Speaker 2: Organ, and so the sea horse doesn't really have this technically.
Speaker 2: What the seahorse does is that the female, the one
Speaker 2: that makes the eggs, takes those eggs and puts them
Speaker 2: into the male pouch and then the male broods them.
Speaker 2: And when that happens, there's just this tiny little moment
Speaker 2: where some uman sperm comes out of a little poor
Speaker 2: in the male, and you know, it fuses with the
Speaker 2: eggs and the male broods them.
Speaker 1: So the lady seahorse uses an ovipositor to jiz eggs
Speaker 1: into the boy seahorse, and he is like doins with
Speaker 1: a little bit of sperm, such as a salt ba
Speaker 1: might just gently sprinkle and then he incubates them. And
Speaker 1: some cave insects, Emily told me, have an ovipositor that
Speaker 1: goes into a boy cave insect and sucks up sperm.
Speaker 1: And that clutch info was published in a twenty fourteen
Speaker 1: study titled female penis, Male vagina and their correlated evolution
Speaker 1: in a cave ins which just introduced me to a
Speaker 1: new ology, cave ecology. It's dark and damp and musty
Speaker 1: and mystery. Let's do it. But back to seahorses. You know,
Speaker 1: I heard from some listeners a few years ago that
Speaker 1: trans men who carry babies are known as seahorses colloquially.
Speaker 3: Were you aware of that?
Speaker 2: You know, actually that does ring a bell performance. That's
Speaker 2: pretty cool.
Speaker 1: I had no idea. Can we talk a little bit
Speaker 1: about in humans, where does a glitterist and where does
Speaker 1: the penis come from? In development? Because I feel like
Speaker 1: I've seen like drawings where they kind of start in
Speaker 1: the same structural way and then they divide or sometimes
Speaker 1: with intersex humans divisions will be less binary. Can you
Speaker 1: kind of can you talk about the bulb of it all? Yes?
Speaker 2: Sure, I'm actually a developmental biologist, and so this is
Speaker 2: right in my so called sweet spot and things going
Speaker 2: into talking about the early structure is called a genital tubercle,
Speaker 2: and it's just a little nub that develops, and then
Speaker 2: what happens next really depends on what hormones are available,
Speaker 2: kind of regardless of which animal with the backbone you are.
Speaker 2: If you start out with this little genital tubercle nub
Speaker 2: and in us, if there's a hormone these are steroid hormones,
Speaker 2: a hormone called dihydro testosterone, which is a version of testosterone,
Speaker 2: then the urethra and that genital tubercle will start to
Speaker 2: elongate and you get what we call a penis. If
Speaker 2: there's a different kind of hormone present, and dihydrot tyestosterone
Speaker 2: isn't present, then that elongation doesn't occur and the urethra
Speaker 2: stays short. And what I used to tell my sons
Speaker 2: when they ask me why some people at penises some
Speaker 2: people don't, I would just say, well, some people just
Speaker 2: have a shorter urethra because I didn't when we don't
Speaker 2: want them to get all caught up and you know
Speaker 2: some of the other binary stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So how come even in an enlarged glitterist we
Speaker 1: don't pee out of.
Speaker 2: It in the case of development, and without the dihydrotyestosterone present, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the urethra goes in one direction, and that is just
Speaker 2: underneath where the glitterus is.
Speaker 1: Did you find, especially in writing this book, when you
Speaker 1: were deep in the creation process of it, did you
Speaker 1: just see dicks everywhere you went?
Speaker 2: Absolutely outside the window where I sit in my house
Speaker 2: where I work, there's a hillside and it just has
Speaker 2: this like sort of bear area.
Speaker 3: I swear to.
Speaker 2: God, I've been looking at it now for the longest time,
Speaker 2: and it just looks like a penis and testes out there.
Speaker 3: It just does.
Speaker 2: I look at it every day, so yes, yes, that's
Speaker 2: exactly what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Thoughts on Darth Vader.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny you mentioned that because I was
Speaker 2: watching that the other day, as one does, and I
Speaker 2: was looking at him, and I, you know, there was
Speaker 2: that part of it, and it really does look like that.
Speaker 2: But also it's oddly just the head.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really large for the rest of it.
Speaker 2: And I don't really know why they did that.
Speaker 1: Why does Darth look dickish? I had to know, so
Speaker 1: I sniffed down a few happy trails, one of which
Speaker 1: asserted that they were a nod to Nazi helmets ill
Speaker 1: but then a few other sources said that George Lucas
Speaker 1: wanted to kind of tip his hat toward Samurai culture,
Speaker 1: so designers based it on a helmet of a sixteenth
Speaker 1: century Japanese warrior, Data Masamune, And if you google it,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, yeah, Darth Vader is just Data Masamune cosplay.
Speaker 1: So now we know why he is shaped like one
Speaker 1: of those, but on the flip side. And when it
Speaker 1: comes to the head of the penis, can you explain
Speaker 1: why does it look like a Darth Vader helmet?
Speaker 3: I mean, you know it can only infer.
Speaker 2: But you know, there are lots of people, not lots,
Speaker 2: but some people have tried to explain it as, oh,
Speaker 2: it's my favorite thing. It's a plunger or something like
Speaker 2: it plunges semen out of a woman out of you know,
Speaker 2: the partner's reagina, because you're trying to get rid of
Speaker 2: that because you're.
Speaker 3: The next guy in a line.
Speaker 2: And I'm just thinking, you know, I know people are
Speaker 2: really various and how they do things, but you know
Speaker 2: most people don't just have I mean, why a run
Speaker 2: into bed and have partners lined about the door so
Speaker 2: that they can come in one up to the other
Speaker 2: and just plunge the vagina, you know, and get their
Speaker 2: semen in line. So that's kind of a funny way
Speaker 2: to look at it. And I mean, people have hypothesized
Speaker 2: all kinds of reasons, but nobody has a direct explanation
Speaker 2: for that.
Speaker 1: But that is that sort of the leading hypothesis for now.
Speaker 2: No, because I think that the people who are proposing
Speaker 2: that were leading with something else when they thought that
Speaker 2: that when they decided that or proposed it.
Speaker 3: I don't buy it.
Speaker 1: I had heard that it was to clean things out,
Speaker 1: but and I just accepted, like, Okay, that must be
Speaker 1: what it's for. But it's interesting that it might maybe
Speaker 1: could have served aerodynamic purposes as well.
Speaker 2: So I would say clean things out, really, I mean,
Speaker 2: I understand why you like that seems plausible. I think
Speaker 2: a lot of people have found it plausible, But there's not.
Speaker 2: In the way that humans made and the made structure
Speaker 2: that we have, it doesn't make a ton of sense
Speaker 2: that there would be a need to clean things out.
Speaker 2: And also just the way sperm travels so quickly and
Speaker 2: how all of that works, that wouldn't work anyway.
Speaker 3: It's be a little too late.
Speaker 2: For that to really have an effect, and it's not
Speaker 2: really that impressive. Mean, one of the things that I
Speaker 2: write about in the book is that our penis is
Speaker 2: not particularly impressive. It doesn't have a lot of adormans.
Speaker 2: It doesn't suggest that there's a lot of competition with
Speaker 2: like the males having sex with a female or something
Speaker 2: like that, which you see in a lot of other species,
Speaker 2: because when that happens, those penises have all kinds of
Speaker 2: things on them, like spikes and hooks, and you know,
Speaker 2: just really fancy looking, and ours.
Speaker 3: Isn't like that at all.
Speaker 2: They're very fancy, fancy folly is.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Humans with penises not a lot of
Speaker 1: bells and whistles, but there are a lot of balls
Speaker 1: and whiskers. Anyway, Doctor Willingham says that our partner structure
Speaker 1: is pretty chick well compared to some other organisms. I
Speaker 1: did want to ask about that if you could walk
Speaker 1: us through maybe a gallery of highlights of some dogs
Speaker 1: in the animal Kingdom, some really some notable ones.
Speaker 2: The most notable dongs in the animal Kingdom. Well, I
Speaker 2: sort of mentioned the millipedese because they just kind of
Speaker 2: kill me because they have this pair of legs that
Speaker 2: they use, and there's another pair that serves up the semen.
Speaker 2: But before they do that, they first test the partner
Speaker 2: with like an uncharged pair of legs. They're like, poke,
Speaker 2: and if it seems like it works okay, which I
Speaker 2: mean the one possible explanation for that, they're just like,
Speaker 2: is this the right species? Is this a millipede? You
Speaker 2: know you're going to make sure. But then then they
Speaker 2: get their the legs and they draw up the semen
Speaker 2: from another pair of legs and then use them for real,
Speaker 2: just kind of I don't know, that just sort of
Speaker 2: amazes me. Another one that amazes me or this these
Speaker 2: swallow tail butterflies, and what do I understand other butterfly
Speaker 2: species may have this is but they have light receptors
Speaker 2: on their genitalia fancy, which means they can detect light
Speaker 2: with their genitalia.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I imagine if you could detect light with your genitalia.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Absolutely changes the rave scene seriously, like.
Speaker 3: Changes a lot, like what would you do?
Speaker 2: So that one's also I really sort of enjoy that
Speaker 2: people talk about dut penises all the time because they're
Speaker 2: cork screw shave holistic and I'm honestly kind of over them.
Speaker 2: Just some like okay, fine, whatever.
Speaker 1: And if you're not yet over that fact, great news.
Speaker 1: I have more dick duck gossip. Okay, so most birds
Speaker 1: do not have release. Ninety seven percent of them happily dickless.
Speaker 1: They just perform a little chloacal kiss is what it's called.
Speaker 1: They gingerly smash buttholes and boom, you've got baby birds.
Speaker 1: But ducks not only have wings, they have ones that
Speaker 1: can be longer than their entire bodies and are spiraled
Speaker 1: like a tightly wound curly fry. And likewise, duck vaginas
Speaker 1: are just a spiral staircase of resistance, replete with hidden
Speaker 1: pockets and dead ends. And according to doctor Patricia Brennan,
Speaker 1: a scientist who researches duck dicks, this likely evolved to
Speaker 1: thwart male ducks forced copulation. As doctor Brennan explored in
Speaker 1: a paper titled quote Explosive eversion and functional morphology of
Speaker 1: the duck penis supports sexual conflict in waterfowl Genitalia. Also,
Speaker 1: my good buddy, doctor Jason Coleman reported Vietnam GEO a
Speaker 1: few years ago that apparently a duck penis will shrink
Speaker 1: during the off season and then get big and weird.
Speaker 1: Again during a breeding frenzy. But if you're not the
Speaker 1: dominant male in your duck posse, your dangle dangle may
Speaker 1: just stay modest. But on the topic of small but mighty.
Speaker 3: The flea is a bit daunting.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: It has a penis that is sort of like you know,
Speaker 2: I know, people is weird how many people have like
Speaker 2: written poetically imp about fleas, like you know, John d
Speaker 2: and that kind of thing. But it has a penis
Speaker 2: that like curls up inside of its body and basically
Speaker 2: takes up the whole rear half of it and is
Speaker 2: a couple of times the length of the animal, And
Speaker 2: even when it's inserted into a partner, there's still a
Speaker 2: whole bunch of its still inside. Yeah, I know, fleas
Speaker 2: are just wacky.
Speaker 1: John Dunn who okay, so he is a dead English
Speaker 1: poet and a cleric who secretly married a lady and
Speaker 1: had twelve kids with her and also wrote some sad
Speaker 1: emo sonnets and some erotic ditties about books, such as
Speaker 1: the Flea, which includes the lines it sucked me first
Speaker 1: and now sucks thee and in this flea are two
Speaker 1: bloods mingledly. So this was like straight up horny shit
Speaker 1: in the fifteenth century and people were hot and sweaty
Speaker 1: under their woolen vestments about it.
Speaker 2: And then there's one in the book. One of my
Speaker 2: favorite pictures in the book is of this penis of
Speaker 2: fairly common snail in Australia. It's called felll Medusa selita
Speaker 2: or Solida, and it's kind of it's like if a
Speaker 2: mop were put on top of Medusa's head and then
Speaker 2: she kind of wrapped a fancy late eighteenth century cravat
Speaker 2: around her neck. That's what this thing would look like.
Speaker 2: It's really quite striking.
Speaker 1: Is it true that barnacles have the biggest body to
Speaker 1: member ratio?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I have this whole chapter on like, you know,
Speaker 2: who's like the big winner when it comes to you know,
Speaker 2: the biggest penis. And so I don't know if you
Speaker 2: how much you know about Charles Darwin's other interest besides
Speaker 2: natural selection situation.
Speaker 3: But he wrote this like.
Speaker 2: Four part gigantic set of monographs on barnacles, to the
Speaker 2: point that he actually got kind of sick of them.
Speaker 2: He just got you got to the point where he
Speaker 2: hated them, which is understandable.
Speaker 3: But there was this.
Speaker 2: One teeny teeny little barnacle. He found that at first
Speaker 2: they thought was like a parasite or something. It turned
Speaker 2: out to be the male version on the field, which
Speaker 2: is not uncommon. There are, you know, quite a few
Speaker 2: species where the male is teeny weeny. And then when
Speaker 2: you got a close enough look at this thing, it's
Speaker 2: penises like many times the size of its body. So
Speaker 2: it really does have the largest penis to body proportion
Speaker 2: of any animal. And if you wanted to go just like, well,
Speaker 2: what is just actually like the biggest penis on earth?
Speaker 2: You know, guess what that is?
Speaker 1: Oh, gosh, a whale.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the blue whale. Blue whale teps it. Oh god,
Speaker 3: a sorry.
Speaker 2: Feet yeah, eight feet feet So if you know somebody
Speaker 2: who's like six feet tall, add two feet to that
Speaker 2: and that's a blue average blue whale penis. I went
Speaker 2: to the icelandic Pellological Museum because you know, if you're
Speaker 2: writing a book about penises, you kind of almost have
Speaker 2: to do that. Yeah, and there are a ton you know,
Speaker 2: it's Iceland, so there are a ton of whale penises
Speaker 2: in that museum.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine the gift shop.
Speaker 3: Oh, the gearshop was hilarious.
Speaker 2: Actually, the museum itself was a little sad to me
Speaker 2: because of a bunch of penises, like you know, dis
Speaker 2: bodied from the animals, which uh huh, I don't know
Speaker 2: kind of. It was not uplifting to me, but the
Speaker 2: gift shop is hysterical. Really enjoyed the gift shop.
Speaker 1: Not uplifting.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, there it is again.
Speaker 1: If you've just added the Phallological Museum to your travel
Speaker 1: bucket list, prepare for a whole gallery full of glass
Speaker 1: columns stuffed with wings of all shapes and sizes, floating
Speaker 1: in cepia toned liquids. Just stroll through the gift shop
Speaker 1: and browse an array of designer condoms, creatively handled mugs,
Speaker 1: some penis pasta. They got ice cube trays, lots of
Speaker 1: plush toys. They have human sized willie warmers and more,
Speaker 1: including of course, some carved wooden bottle openers that just
Speaker 1: straight up look like a severed pecker who's thirsty. Not me.
Speaker 1: That brings me to in terms of disembodied penises, what
Speaker 1: animals in the natural world do have a gift shop
Speaker 1: structure where the dong is broken off in a kind
Speaker 1: of courtship offering. Like I understand that seminole plugs and
Speaker 1: dicks just break off. In animals, octopuses will just break
Speaker 1: off a sperm paddle. Who's just like, I'm good, take it.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's this is an interesting question because there are two
Speaker 2: kind of different sort of things driving the loss of
Speaker 2: the penis here, and so in one case there might
Speaker 2: be a sperm plug or a penis bit left behind.
Speaker 2: And there's some some people hypothesize that is too. That's
Speaker 2: basically like you've just blocked the door to the tomb
Speaker 2: there nobody else can get in, and so it keeps
Speaker 2: other suitors from showing up and doing anything. On the
Speaker 2: flip side of that, like, for example, there's an octopus
Speaker 2: that is called the paper nautilus, and it is neither
Speaker 2: paper nor a nautilus. Why we name things like we do,
Speaker 2: but we do, And it's an argonaut octopus. And the
Speaker 2: malest weenie compared to the female, and they're octopies. They're
Speaker 2: not above just sort of eating each other. If they
Speaker 2: get a chance to. She would make a snack out
Speaker 2: of him. Maybe, you know, she got the opportunity. And
Speaker 2: one of those is a heccatalyst, which takes little sperm
Speaker 2: packets and deposits them into the female, and this little
Speaker 2: guy he's like, you just keep this thing because I
Speaker 2: need to get out of here. He's just kind of like,
Speaker 2: you know, sneaks up and like pokes it in there
Speaker 2: and swims way as fast a scam before the much
Speaker 2: larger female decides.
Speaker 3: He also was lunch.
Speaker 2: And people used to find these females and find all
Speaker 2: these little like squirmy tentacle things inside of him. They
Speaker 2: thought that they might be parasites or something that had
Speaker 2: gotten in there.
Speaker 1: Literally just a bag of dicks. You are a bag
Speaker 1: of dicks. So perhaps it's not so much a ritual
Speaker 1: courtshiped gift as it's more akin to just tossing it
Speaker 1: all on red and then getting the hell out of dodge.
Speaker 1: It's really much more about preservation than it is about
Speaker 1: generosity though.
Speaker 2: Right, well, so in that case it is of courtship gifts.
Speaker 2: There are a species, probably one of the most famous
Speaker 2: ones is the bush cricket, and you just do with
Speaker 2: that what you will, which is known for the size
Speaker 2: of its nuptial gifts, which is semen and just like gallon,
Speaker 2: seem will bay if you were if the crickets were
Speaker 2: ir sized, just because an enormous amount of semen. But
Speaker 2: the thing is that semen has corrept and a nutrition
Speaker 2: in it, because you know, it's supporting the fur and
Speaker 2: the cells in there and all that. And so the
Speaker 2: idea going idea about that is that it can support
Speaker 2: the female and the great deal of work that goes
Speaker 2: on with you know, the development of new little members
Speaker 2: of a species. So that's a nuptial gift. There's a
Speaker 2: scale of those. It could be here's a gigantic bolus
Speaker 2: of semen all the way to here's my entire body
Speaker 2: and joy.
Speaker 1: You know, this makes me wonder in terms of the
Speaker 1: way that a sperm organ or just in general genitalia
Speaker 1: are used. Is there any evidence that there's a ton
Speaker 1: of nerve endings for all animals and that is incentive
Speaker 1: to mate or is it just maybe humans or or
Speaker 1: mammals that have a lot of nerves in the area.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting question that I do not know
Speaker 2: the answer to. I don't know if they've looked at
Speaker 2: I haven't seen anything that's comparative of like, well, the
Speaker 2: nerves are the nerves there. I will say that, for example,
Speaker 2: some animals make these out of like plates on their
Speaker 2: thorax like some insects do that, and so I don't
Speaker 2: know how much nerve ending like physiologically you would have
Speaker 2: anything to do with that part of it. These are
Speaker 2: like the animals that go and kind of stab their
Speaker 2: you know, intrimittum into the partner and sort of leave
Speaker 2: some semen and run away.
Speaker 1: Penis fencing. How often does it happen?
Speaker 2: I don't know, Okay, I mean a lot. I mean
Speaker 2: it's right, they do it. I have some of these
Speaker 2: invertebrates do it, the slugs, but you know, I've never
Speaker 2: actually asked them.
Speaker 3: I don't know as they.
Speaker 1: Do it any sea slugs. Listening to this because I
Speaker 1: just wanted to congratulate you for the inviewable biology of
Speaker 1: having two differing sets of jennies. Although yes, my condolence
Speaker 1: is that you have to use them as weaponry. See okay,
Speaker 1: So they fight until one gets stabbed with a dick
Speaker 1: inseminates the other and it is like boo, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: out have fun raising my babies. I'll see and help brother. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess now, wife, So if you and your human
Speaker 1: hinge date didn't have chemistry, but you didn't stand around
Speaker 1: nude trying to impale each other with your crotch, and
Speaker 1: then one of you fled without child support. I guess
Speaker 1: you're doing Okay, I don't know. When it comes to mammals.
Speaker 1: Let's get into the bone zone. Baculum, bacula, baculi. So
Speaker 1: many mammals have bones in their boners.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how about that? What do you think of that?
Speaker 2: And we don't and nobody, nobody's quite clear about why.
Speaker 2: And nobody is even quite clear about why other species
Speaker 2: that have bones have them. But can I tell you?
Speaker 2: The acronym for the taxa that do have them is
Speaker 2: primates like chimps and that kind of stuff, except us,
Speaker 2: we do not. Rodentia, so mice, rats, I kind of stuff, Insectivora,
Speaker 2: which are those little furry things to eat bugs, Carnivora
Speaker 2: like bears, dogs and so on, and Corroptera with the bats.
Speaker 2: And so you have primate, Redentia, Insectivora, Carnivora, and Corroptera.
Speaker 2: What is that spell prick? It spells prick. And then
Speaker 2: if you add in they have found now belatedly like
Speaker 2: this tiny You know what a pika is?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: No, yeah, I love piica so much. So they occur
Speaker 2: high altitudes are so cute, and if you can get
Speaker 2: near them, you know, they throw their little hands in
Speaker 2: and go week. But they have these teeny teeny little
Speaker 2: penis bones they've discovered and they're the lagomorphs, and so
Speaker 2: if you add an L you have prickle.
Speaker 1: So oh, oh, my god, too adorable. Why do you
Speaker 1: think humans evolved not to have a penis bone? And
Speaker 1: what does the penis bone do for animals that have them?
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing is that nobody's quite sure what
Speaker 2: they're doing, Like they have all of these hypotheses about
Speaker 2: you know, what does the penis bone do? Does it
Speaker 2: keep things in place for a while, for long enough
Speaker 2: for the copulation to complete, But nobody quite knows exactly why.
Speaker 2: It is the boniest mystery around. It's such a mysterious thing,
Speaker 2: and nobody is quite sure why we lost ours. Evidently
Speaker 2: we didn't need it, because otherwise it would have been
Speaker 2: selection for it. Because God knows there's enough selection right
Speaker 2: there where the genitalia rubber hits the road as it
Speaker 2: work and it's gone so well.
Speaker 1: Speaking of God knows any history to substantiate that the
Speaker 1: rib that is given to eve of atoms is actually
Speaker 1: a baculum.
Speaker 2: You know, I had a little bit about that in
Speaker 2: the book and they had to take it occation out
Speaker 2: of word space. But yeah, it's nonsense. They apparently the
Speaker 2: heap rew ward really doesn't mean rib and it was
Speaker 2: never anything about yeh, so he took away Adam's bone
Speaker 2: from his rib, except it was the rib way down
Speaker 2: there bias testies somehow, and somebody got confused, you know, now.
Speaker 1: Ribbed for her pleasure.
Speaker 3: I suppose, I suppose.
Speaker 1: And what about culturally like or what part of the
Speaker 1: US are you from?
Speaker 3: I'm I was born in Waco, Texas.
Speaker 1: Actually I thought I detected a toy.
Speaker 3: Yes, people mention it on occasion.
Speaker 1: Allan, I love accents. I'm not sorry. I would like
Speaker 1: to do a dialectology one day, please. Regional idiosyncrasies are
Speaker 1: just very fascinating. Do you find in writing this book
Speaker 1: that you you came across a lot of different cultural
Speaker 1: relationships with the phallis domestically I mean, obviously yes, globally,
Speaker 1: But how how do people think differently of don depending
Speaker 1: on where you're raised.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good question, And I'm not an anthropologist,
Speaker 2: and so I can't speak to that with like a
Speaker 2: bunch of expertise, but I did write about a little
Speaker 2: bit in the last chapter, and is it varies so
Speaker 2: much across cultures and time you probably read they wrote
Speaker 2: some stories about this, and even some recent ones that
Speaker 2: the Greeks apparently thought it was just kind of ghost
Speaker 2: to have a giant penis, you know, and that you know,
Speaker 2: it was much more desirable to have one that was
Speaker 2: kind of small and pencil ish. And then if you
Speaker 2: ask people with the giinas who have sex with people
Speaker 2: with penises, you find out that, like, the size thing
Speaker 2: is just kind of like whoopedie doom, not the top
Speaker 2: consideration at all.
Speaker 1: Listen. Was there a twenty thirteen study called penis size
Speaker 1: interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness
Speaker 1: based on photos? Do they find that one hundred and
Speaker 1: five female identifying people chose penises that were in the
Speaker 1: ninety eighth percentile for size? Sure, but also, are we
Speaker 1: usually picking partners when we have only looked at pictures
Speaker 1: and they are nude Back when clothes were hair maybe,
Speaker 1: but now usually know. Some studies have found that only
Speaker 1: twenty percent of be vagina people can achieve orgasm through
Speaker 1: penetration alone. Eighty percent can't so the clit kids is lit. Also,
Speaker 1: the vagine is a mere four to six inches long.
Speaker 1: So if you're out there and you have do anxiety,
Speaker 1: maybe you just really need a deep, deep breath. Maybe
Speaker 1: look into some positions like from behind, which are more
Speaker 1: physiologically advantageous. And some sources say you may just be
Speaker 1: a makeover away from some confidence. Yep, you just got
Speaker 1: to trim up down there. Even experts agree. Don't hide
Speaker 1: your lightsaber under a bush. Well cut banks, trim pubes.
Speaker 1: You have so much dick under that muff metaphorically and
Speaker 1: technically speaking, so let that be a lesson to all
Speaker 1: of us. Also, I really hope that you are not
Speaker 1: listening to this at work or driving carpool, But you
Speaker 1: know what, maybe I hope you are. Do you think
Speaker 1: that it's gotten more conservative and it's gotten more taboo
Speaker 1: to discuss penises openly?
Speaker 2: That is an interesting question. I think that people talk
Speaker 2: about them a lot more openly now than they did
Speaker 2: when I was young. I feel like, but again, I'm
Speaker 2: from Waco. Now I'm not there anymore, so maybe that's
Speaker 2: party why that is. I don't know, it seems like
Speaker 2: there's a lot more you know what, I kind of
Speaker 2: can almost trace this back to let's see when viagra
Speaker 2: became a thing. And I remember, you're way too young,
Speaker 2: probably not even live when this happened, but I remember
Speaker 2: when Bob Dole is a senator from Kansas and erstwhile
Speaker 2: presidential candidate, started taking it and they actually asked him
Speaker 2: about it, and Lyddy Dole's wife and she's like, thumbs up,
Speaker 2: the stuff works great.
Speaker 4: What I want to make it through.
Speaker 1: Many treatments available for ED.
Speaker 3: So my advice is get a medically check up.
Speaker 1: It's the best way to get educated about ED and
Speaker 1: what can be done to treat it.
Speaker 4: What they take of the courage. But I've always found
Speaker 4: that everything worthwhile does.
Speaker 2: It was all It was kind of a strange turning point.
Speaker 2: I feel like culturally that that was being openly discussed
Speaker 2: like that on the GOP side of the aisle.
Speaker 1: Actually viagra, that was an incidental finding from what I understand.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, they were they were looking at starting to
Speaker 2: find anything, because what it does is relaxes the blood vessels, right,
Speaker 2: and the reason openions can get engorged is if they
Speaker 2: relaxed and filled with blood. Well, they were trying out
Speaker 2: this drug. I think to see if it would relax
Speaker 2: blood vessels to reduce blood pressure, like as an anti
Speaker 2: high pretensive. But the men who were taking it were like,
Speaker 2: you know, kind of getting this direction. That's happened lasting
Speaker 2: kind of a long time. It's pretty cool. And you
Speaker 2: know dollar signs chit ching if you hear the commercial
Speaker 2: that's are like, you know, we can cure ninety nine
Speaker 2: percent of all this function. What they really mean is
Speaker 2: that it doesn't have a physiological basis, physiological in the
Speaker 2: sense that there's something you know, wrong in that area
Speaker 2: or something related to that area. And so what it
Speaker 2: kind of comes down to is, you know, you're just
Speaker 2: not you and your brain. You're not connecting anymore about
Speaker 2: like being working towards a mutual purpose here. And so
Speaker 2: there's a story which is why that viagra worse because
Speaker 2: it just is like, screw your brain, I'm just going
Speaker 2: to go cut straight through the blood vessels here and
Speaker 2: fill the sucker up. And so that's what it does.
Speaker 1: One twenty nineteen survey said that globally, up to seventy
Speaker 1: six percent of folks who have erections have had erectile dysfunction.
Speaker 1: So it happens a little bit more as you scoop
Speaker 1: past fifty. But if you had ever had an uncooperative
Speaker 1: pain fretknot, you're totally normal. According to the Mayo Clinic.
Speaker 1: Some causes of it, though, could be anger because it
Speaker 1: messes with blood flow and sends more blood to the
Speaker 1: surface of the skin. Stress can also mess with you
Speaker 1: down there. Being above a medically healthy weight can lower
Speaker 1: your testosterone and mess up your blood flow. Smoking and
Speaker 1: just straight up low self image can contribute to floppy donks.
Speaker 1: So medications can also interfere. And if so, totally talk
Speaker 1: to your doctor about it. They are literally paid to help.
Speaker 1: They have maybe had the same problem with themselves or
Speaker 1: a loved one. And if you're like I have the
Speaker 1: depress but I don't want to take the medicines for
Speaker 1: it because of weighing issues. I read a study on
Speaker 1: Harvard Health. They published an article noting that about thirty
Speaker 1: five to fifty percent of people with untreated major depression
Speaker 1: experienced some type of sexual dysfunction prior to treatment. So
Speaker 1: maybe don't blame the player the antidepressants, blame the game
Speaker 1: the clinical depress Also, I've mentioned it before on this podcast.
Speaker 1: They're not sponsors of the show, But there is a
Speaker 1: test called gene site that shows promise in terms of
Speaker 1: pairing you to an antidepressant that might work better for you,
Speaker 1: and I used it after trying three different antidepressants, and
Speaker 1: I landed on one that works much better for me.
Speaker 1: Based on those results. Your mileage may vary, but that
Speaker 1: was called gene Site. Ward to the wise, do you
Speaker 1: find that in any of your recent search that there
Speaker 1: was a myth about prolonged sex and what was desired
Speaker 1: from partners or is there like a correlation between pleasure
Speaker 1: and the longer you go, the better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a related myth. I didn't examine that myth exactly,
Speaker 2: but what I did examine was this kind of emphasis
Speaker 2: that that people seem to place on the size of
Speaker 2: a penis and that being like really crucial and super
Speaker 2: important and also being able to last a really long time,
Speaker 2: which I think is kind of you know, reaches into
Speaker 2: what reaches gets to what you're just asking. And what
Speaker 2: I found is that what women, what people who are
Speaker 2: having size with people at penises want is in these surveys,
Speaker 2: the people who are identifying as women.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 2: Is a partner who knows what they're doing, not a
Speaker 2: partner with a giant dog. Not a partner who can
Speaker 2: go forever, but a partner who knows what they're doing
Speaker 2: and also knows that the penis is not the only
Speaker 2: instrument of sexual pleasure available on the human body, and
Speaker 2: knows how to use all the other ones as well.
Speaker 1: Suggestion, get yourself a book about it. Watch some educational
Speaker 1: materials that perhaps were not filmed in a van nice motel. Now, culturally,
Speaker 1: we all have a lot to learn about the EQUATORI
Speaker 1: and if the geneasms are just too much to expect
Speaker 1: from a weness a lot of terms in this episode,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: It's not super common, and I think from what at
Speaker 2: least from the studies I saw and the results of
Speaker 2: those studies, it's also not something that people really give
Speaker 2: that much of a rip about. I think it's part
Speaker 2: of impossible masculinity that somewhere along the line, people with
Speaker 2: penises learn that, oh, you've got to make this happen
Speaker 2: with this like thrusting massive Oregon, and if you don't,
Speaker 2: you're a failure. And that's just not evidently what a
Speaker 2: lot of people who are having sex really want.
Speaker 1: Why have we tied a dick around our own brains,
Speaker 1: like what's going on.
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting I trace a little bit of
Speaker 2: that in the last chapter of the Boat, because there
Speaker 2: were it looks like, at least in a want of
Speaker 2: cultures and association when we started settling down and trying
Speaker 2: to grow stuff in one place, this kind of connection
Speaker 2: between the penis and especially an erect one and I
Speaker 2: get you know, obviously the fluid that comes out of it.
Speaker 2: I think we probably made the connection that that's associated
Speaker 2: with reproduction. And so like even an early Egyptian god
Speaker 2: which called men Am i n is depicted as having
Speaker 2: he's holding a flail in one hand, which is a
Speaker 2: harvesting instrument, and he also has an instrument that is
Speaker 2: parallel to the ground, and erect penis sits parallel to
Speaker 2: the ground, and so those are that's just a clear
Speaker 2: association between those two things. The god Priapus, who's probably yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, known today for associations with priapism, which is
Speaker 2: just this like you know, endless erection, which is not
Speaker 2: comfortable by the way, it's not something that is enjoyable
Speaker 2: at first. Does a scarecrow, and so those associations I
Speaker 2: think were made in a lot of cultures and because
Speaker 2: of also the greater muscle relative Muslims and physical strength
Speaker 2: that people whose gonads make to sosterone disoscruone confers on them,
Speaker 2: then you've got well, this is fertility, it's protection, it's strength,
Speaker 2: and it's associated with this organ. Even the Romans had
Speaker 2: little amulets that the children were were that were phallus
Speaker 2: with wings was called a signum a fas ci n
Speaker 2: u m, which is where we get fascinating from, because
Speaker 2: it was supposed to distract the evil eye to the
Speaker 2: amulet and fascinate them away from the children.
Speaker 1: Of course, I look this up and yeah, it looks
Speaker 1: like a mythological griffin. But if God ran out of
Speaker 1: lion and eagle parts and had to use leftover dicks instead.
Speaker 1: And one photo I looked at for a little too
Speaker 1: long appears to be made of bronze. I think it
Speaker 1: was dug up at POMPEII. But this winged wang amulet
Speaker 1: could fit right in. Right now, I'm just saying, never
Speaker 1: goes out of style. I can see it hanging off
Speaker 1: the rear view mirror of a car belonging to a
Speaker 1: shift manager at the Tallahassee Hooters. Maybe someone who had
Speaker 1: a red bull tost at his wedding, just ready to
Speaker 1: get loose and party. Let's do it. I mean, on
Speaker 1: the topic of an homage, why do we love to
Speaker 1: draw dicks on everything?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so funny because I was just
Speaker 2: I was staying somewhere to finish my next book, which
Speaker 2: is about the brain, and it was every day I
Speaker 2: was walking out to this platform on.
Speaker 3: A lake and it was really beautiful.
Speaker 2: And one day there were a bunch of teenagers there
Speaker 2: and you're just having a great time. I love teenagers,
Speaker 2: by the way, so it's like, yeah, DearS. And the
Speaker 2: next thing went out there there was a dick that
Speaker 2: they had drawn, I think with the wide out. You know,
Speaker 2: it's ejaculating, you know, it's a little tiny, but it
Speaker 2: was there. And then the next day a goose had
Speaker 2: shat on it, and I was just like, okay, world,
Speaker 2: this is great. And then one of my sons came
Speaker 2: home yesterday with this yearbook, you know, and of course
Speaker 2: a couple of his friends. You know, inevitably there's you know,
Speaker 2: somebody's drawn a penis in ther book. You know, it's like,
Speaker 2: this is for life and joy, and in some cultures
Speaker 2: it's way more obvious than just you know, teenagers doodling
Speaker 2: something on a buy. I mean there are parts of
Speaker 2: the world where they're on houses, you know, and they're
Speaker 2: considered protective and just kind of the same associations with
Speaker 2: a physical strength and protection.
Speaker 1: I was going to put an aside here listing some examples,
Speaker 1: but they are too numerous, from Japanese shrines to Mongolian monasteries,
Speaker 1: even the Empire state building a lot of boners on buildings.
Speaker 1: Luckily for all of us, though, there is a Wikipedia
Speaker 1: page just titled phallic architecture. It's waiting for you.
Speaker 2: And so we're in our culture, I mean, say, in
Speaker 2: the Western culture, in the US culture, we hide them
Speaker 2: away and we act like they're kind of you know,
Speaker 2: salacious and oh my gosh. And the word penis is
Speaker 2: scary to say, and you know, you can trouble and
Speaker 2: things like that, and so it gives it this kind
Speaker 2: of aura of something kind of secret and funny that
Speaker 2: you can do that the adults can't see you being
Speaker 2: up to.
Speaker 3: At the time.
Speaker 1: Penis, penis, penis penis. There's kids up, kids a.
Speaker 2: Penis, and so I think it's not maybe super helpful
Speaker 2: to kind of shroud it in that kind of air
Speaker 2: of you know, this is something not to talk about
Speaker 2: or consider or to take seriously accept as to kind
Speaker 2: of excuse me, put on a pedestal and set up
Speaker 2: as kind of a replacement representation for you a young
Speaker 2: man in our culture.
Speaker 1: You mentioned a shrouded dick, and I'm wondering, how did
Speaker 1: you even approach the culture in the history behind circumcision,
Speaker 1: and when did we start to do that, and are
Speaker 1: are there any medical benefits.
Speaker 2: I did not discuss circumcision in the book, although I
Speaker 2: did talk about it, or my co author and I
Speaker 2: wrote about it a little bit in a parenting book
Speaker 2: that we wrote a few years ago. And you know,
Speaker 2: it's present in a couple of sort of very globally
Speaker 2: distributed religious practices and that started thousands of years ago
Speaker 2: in one of them. And as far as benefit goes,
Speaker 2: if you look at the eurological literature, it comes down
Speaker 2: to almost sort of happenstance benefit in a way, because,
Speaker 2: for example, children who have infantile onset urinary tract infections right,
Speaker 2: which means they've got something going on in their urinary system,
Speaker 2: they're where they're probably having your own backup into their kidneys.
Speaker 2: But what they find is that if the children are circumcised,
Speaker 2: they don't have repeat tend to have repeat urinary tract
Speaker 2: infections as much, and this kind of outcomes tend to
Speaker 2: be better. There's some research pointing to an adult men
Speaker 2: who undergo circumcision there's a reduced transmission to sex partners
Speaker 2: of certain viruses that are transmitted through them having sex
Speaker 2: with people. But again that's it almost comes from as
Speaker 2: a sort of like serendipitous, you know, benefit after the fact.
Speaker 2: It's not something you can just look at, you know,
Speaker 2: it's pretty at birth and go, well, this will protect
Speaker 2: them from this. It just a reduced risk for some
Speaker 2: of these outcomes in those cases.
Speaker 1: And doctor Willingham notes that while some sexually transmitted viruses
Speaker 1: could possibly be curbed by vaccines, like for HPV HIV,
Speaker 1: vaccines have proven much trickier and hopefully one day humans
Speaker 1: will conquer that challenge. But on the topic of non humans,
Speaker 1: there's plenty still to boggle the brain. Yeah, including like
Speaker 1: four headed pronged that's.
Speaker 3: The Acida.
Speaker 1: Dicks. What's even happening there?
Speaker 2: Well, so there's a there's a sort of a subset
Speaker 2: of phoenis is that instead of like you know, waiting
Speaker 2: for like the blow to fill it. Like they're not
Speaker 2: going to have to have viagaros, but that way because
Speaker 2: they're kind of just folded up at the ready and
Speaker 2: when the time comes, they just, you know, the muscle
Speaker 2: just goes quip punk and it plops it out like
Speaker 2: an airbag. So it's just turtles and alligant the crocodilians.
Speaker 2: I have that going on, and turtles are I think
Speaker 2: in the in the book I write about a turtle
Speaker 2: video is really something to be all. This poor turtle
Speaker 2: is extremely aroused and it has this little ball that
Speaker 2: has pawprints on it, like dog palms on It is
Speaker 2: very pissed off or either very aroused by this ball
Speaker 2: and it's like trying to I guess, mount the ball.
Speaker 2: But it's penis is flipped out and it's also the
Speaker 2: the end of the penis of a turtle. Penis is
Speaker 2: like a cup sort of or open and it opens
Speaker 2: and closes like a flower. So it's just angry, angry
Speaker 2: of the animal with its little flower opening and closing
Speaker 2: penis just attacking this little ball.
Speaker 3: It's quite a video. Human what an o face they
Speaker 3: have to like the last expression, you know, just a
Speaker 3: turbin comfortable.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you some lightning round questions from listeners?
Speaker 1: I mean, wow, the speed with which these questions came in, Wow,
Speaker 1: just very fast in coming in hot. Well, let's just
Speaker 1: say I'm just going to run through as many as
Speaker 1: we can.
Speaker 3: Is that cool? Okay? Sure?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Bananas that we took so long to get to
Speaker 1: Patreon questions, which you could submit for future episodes, just
Speaker 1: a buck a month to join. But before we ask them,
Speaker 1: we take the chance to donate to a cause, and
Speaker 1: this week, Emily chose Doctors Without Borders, which is a
Speaker 1: non governmental organization that provides assistance to populations and distress,
Speaker 1: so they are global first responders to emergencies and epidemics.
Speaker 1: They do amazing work. So that hot cash injection was
Speaker 1: made possible by sponsors of the show. What you can
Speaker 1: hear about now? Okay, let's get back to your hardball questions.
Speaker 1: Hollis wants to know, as a penis haver, why is
Speaker 1: morning wood a thing? And is this happening with all
Speaker 1: penis havers human.
Speaker 2: And otherwise don't know about other animals? Morning when is
Speaker 2: the thing? Because it has to do with I think
Speaker 2: this hormonal changes you're sleep. I don't know about other animals,
Speaker 2: like I'm pretty sure bed bugs don't wake up that way.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Arib first time question asker it wants
Speaker 1: to know is there any scientific research around BD big
Speaker 1: dick energy. I feel like your book deals with us
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this question I like because I think that we
Speaker 2: shouldn't use that phrase. I think that people who consider
Speaker 2: themselves progressives will say, for example, small dick energy or
Speaker 2: big dick energy when a person is acting a certain way.
Speaker 2: I think that's the kind of part of the problem
Speaker 2: with how we talk about penises and what we make
Speaker 2: people with them think they need, how they need to be.
Speaker 2: I think it reduces them to this body part when
Speaker 2: you know, actually our most important body part is are brain,
Speaker 2: and the manifestations of that are so variegated and interesting
Speaker 2: and not reducible to just this kind of one phrase
Speaker 2: that way, So most men, I think tend to think
Speaker 2: that they they they under overestimate like what averages and
Speaker 2: how they relate to that, and they're often wrong about it.
Speaker 2: And so that's the whole side problem. But you know,
Speaker 2: the idea that this person's his giant try because their
Speaker 2: penis is teeny, and I kind of think that that's
Speaker 2: not the way to talk about it or approach it.
Speaker 2: The same thing if a guy's in a Starbucks with
Speaker 2: an AR fifteen and people like small duke energy this guy.
Speaker 2: You know, there are so many complicated social messages that
Speaker 2: go in to shaping somebody who does something ridiculous like that.
Speaker 2: The size of the penis has got to be way
Speaker 2: way down on that list in terms of what driving
Speaker 2: performative behaviors that they think are masculine but that are
Speaker 2: actually desperate in that way.
Speaker 1: Do you love how compassionate she is? I love how
Speaker 1: compassionate she is raising people who are comfortable with their
Speaker 1: masculine traits. Does not start out with shame, is what
Speaker 1: I'm getting. And it's good that she's getting that message
Speaker 1: out into the open like a ball sack. And on
Speaker 1: that note, first time question askers Devon Lawrence wrote in
Speaker 1: quote as a cis female, external genitalia seems like such
Speaker 1: a hassle. The amount of times men sit on themselves
Speaker 1: is crazy, And Jordan Engelkey asked, why do some creatures
Speaker 1: have their junk on the inside like birds, and some
Speaker 1: creatures keep their junk on the outside like humans. Rachel
Speaker 1: had the same question out with it.
Speaker 3: Emily.
Speaker 1: You know, we had some questions about internal and external
Speaker 1: gonads essentially, and is there anything about having external gonads
Speaker 1: that influences feelings of insecurity or feelings of protection in
Speaker 1: terms of maybe like compensatory aggression.
Speaker 2: Would I would, just its face say no, because testosterone
Speaker 2: itself is associated with aggression. So if the gonuts are external,
Speaker 2: they're very likely testes, which means they're making testosterone. So
Speaker 2: there's a confounding thing there because the actual hormone those
Speaker 2: those external go nets are producing is a hormone it's
Speaker 2: very very well known to drive aggression.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. Celia Bell and Madeline both asked questions
Speaker 1: I hadn't heard of this first time. Question Asker Madeleine said,
Speaker 1: I've recently heard that data is starting to come out
Speaker 1: about COVID patients who have a penis experiencing a reptile
Speaker 1: dysfunction significantly more. Celia Bell said, what's the deal with
Speaker 1: COVID dick? Have you heard of anything about this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually tweeted about this the other day. This
Speaker 2: is really it's not surprising. So one of the things
Speaker 2: that this virus does is that it has an effect
Speaker 2: on what's called the endothelium, which is the lining of
Speaker 2: the blood vessels. And we've already talked about the role
Speaker 2: of blood vessels and how they need to relax for
Speaker 2: a penis to become you know, erect, right, and so
Speaker 2: if you have a virus, it's like messing with those
Speaker 2: and making them dysfunctional. Well, that dysfunction is going to
Speaker 2: be body wide, it's not just going to be like
Speaker 2: one part of the body. A couple of reports about
Speaker 2: it of having had COVID and then having experiencing a
Speaker 2: rectile dysfunction. There's another study a couple of men who'd
Speaker 2: had COVID the virus was still persisting in their penis
Speaker 2: tissue a few months later. Yeah, and then there was
Speaker 2: another study that suggested that the penises were a little
Speaker 2: bit smaller, which you know, I'm thinking, well, you know
Speaker 2: what mechanism underlies that, And it could relate again to
Speaker 2: having the blood vessels being contracted. It's like that Seinfeld
Speaker 2: episode where you know, you get in the water, everything
Speaker 2: shrinks up. George stands and wants to hide it's tinted
Speaker 2: tail ear or something because it's cold.
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry.
Speaker 2: Everything just kind of goes whoop. You you're you're you're cold,
Speaker 2: and so your body if I understand it's correctly, because
Speaker 2: I'm not this is not my my sighte of physiology,
Speaker 2: but I understand its correctly. Your body shunts to the
Speaker 2: cork because you're like cold and you need to keep
Speaker 2: especially your core horm So it's like, well, you don't
Speaker 2: need blood here right now, you know, and so it
Speaker 2: sends it away because you're cold. You're not going to
Speaker 2: be having sex right now.
Speaker 3: You're too cooled.
Speaker 1: You're just like teeth chatter. Let's get these bodies.
Speaker 3: Drup seriously, but you're white. Get this man a heating pad.
Speaker 1: Uh Logan Levau had a great question. Wants to know
Speaker 1: what do they put in those bizarre tiger love type
Speaker 1: enhancement powders so you can get a gas stations and
Speaker 1: is there anything remotely legit about them? How do you
Speaker 1: feel about your hymnbe and horny goat weed and all
Speaker 1: of that.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. So first of all, don't buy that stuff.
Speaker 3: That's what's in it.
Speaker 2: I mean, so supplements in this country are completely unregulated
Speaker 2: and their contents can be not at all what it
Speaker 2: says on there. It can be too much of what
Speaker 2: it says on there, and a lot of other things,
Speaker 2: so just don't buy stuff like that. The other problem
Speaker 2: is is that a lot of things in the aphrodisia
Speaker 2: market are acquired by abuse of animals, abuse and torture
Speaker 2: of animals, and we you know, nobody needs to be
Speaker 2: doing that.
Speaker 1: So yes, as a species, let's leave the rhinos alone,
Speaker 1: let the tigers keep their decks. Donald Hayward wants to
Speaker 1: know what's the hand foot size to penis fallacy? What's
Speaker 1: with that?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Where did this idea start? Alexa don you want to
Speaker 1: know that?
Speaker 2: I looked at that, and apparently, for reasons that are
Speaker 2: unclear to me, the UK National Hill Surface also looked
Speaker 2: at this. I don't know why, and there's not an association.
Speaker 2: It probably got started because it would be a very
Speaker 2: easy shorthand or short footed way to tell what if
Speaker 2: somebody's sizes, since we're all wearing pants and you know
Speaker 2: this culture. But yeah, there's no an association.
Speaker 1: Ah, just one. And Andrew Levinson want to know. I've
Speaker 1: heard you can sprain a penis like you would an
Speaker 1: ankle or a muscle. True if so how.
Speaker 2: You can I mean, yeah, I mean there's got if
Speaker 2: you have any anything that has muscle or you know,
Speaker 2: there's a smooth muscle, but anything it has sort of
Speaker 2: like a connective tissue component and stuff like that, you
Speaker 2: can overstretch it or overdo it and experience very uncomfortable
Speaker 2: outcomes from them.
Speaker 1: Rachel Moore wants to know is the average size listed
Speaker 1: on Google? Actually the average? They feel like nearly every
Speaker 1: person they've been with has a larger than average penis.
Speaker 1: If it is, Uh, what is what is the average?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: What is the average size listed on Google? This is
Speaker 3: what I would want to know.
Speaker 1: Good question. First, Google say to five and also there's
Speaker 1: a length and a girth difference. I'm sure, yeah, six
Speaker 1: inches the in fact, the average is much more. I
Speaker 1: think they started five one to five point five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's around it's around five and a half inches
Speaker 2: and in our measurements somewhere around there. And I think
Speaker 2: a lot of people think that the average is bigger
Speaker 2: than that and it's not. And then the girth thing
Speaker 2: is another thing entirely.
Speaker 1: Have there been any studies on folks valuing girth over length?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, first of all, neither's necessarily that important compared
Speaker 2: to some other factors that are valued. But girth is
Speaker 2: is at least in a tie with length for just
Speaker 2: sort of like importance.
Speaker 1: Is there a medical term for a shode?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know either, You've gotta think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I spent two years working with urologists with a
Speaker 2: U and I honestly don't think that anybody ever like
Speaker 2: mentioned that before.
Speaker 1: There are different size receptacles for penises. Just is there
Speaker 1: a different sized penises?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 2: Sure, I hate to say this, but when I don't
Speaker 2: really hate to see it, maybe I both hate and
Speaker 2: love to say it. When I see a certain somebody's
Speaker 2: penis being made fun of because of its shape, you know,
Speaker 2: publicly or whatever. I think, you know, we're doing this
Speaker 2: kind of as a way to target what we perceive
Speaker 2: as some kind of sensitivity in the masculinity we demand
Speaker 2: from people with penises, And it makes me feel bad.
Speaker 3: Dude.
Speaker 1: I think that's a really great point. And I also
Speaker 1: think it's really interesting how we would never make fun
Speaker 1: of or deride vulva's the way that we say that
Speaker 1: dix are ugly or balls are disgusting, you know, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that's true, although I remember there
Speaker 2: was some one of those women who was a Hollywood
Speaker 2: madam or something, and one of the people who worked
Speaker 2: for her was described repeatedly in news stories as having
Speaker 2: a beautiful vagina, and I think what they meant was vulvas.
Speaker 1: Vulva, the outside business, vagina, the tunnel. So a beautiful
Speaker 1: vagina is really quite an exploratory observation, so they probably
Speaker 1: meant volva just for the record.
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking, well, I wonder what makes one beautiful?
Speaker 2: So I you know, you're right, we don't have like
Speaker 2: a cultural construct for you know, what's the perfect iteration
Speaker 2: of the volva?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I mean interesting. I think all dicks
Speaker 1: beautiful dicks, All volva's beautiful vulvas. There you go, got them,
Speaker 1: you got them, love them. Nikki DeMarco had a question
Speaker 1: kind of on that note. She said, the language around
Speaker 1: penis health versus women's health is very different. For example,
Speaker 1: erectile dysfunction versus ovarian supply being exhausted or failure to
Speaker 1: produce hormones. No one would say ed is penis failure.
Speaker 1: So is there an expectation of masculinity or toxic masculinity?
Speaker 1: That we're just not understanding that's looking at those things differently.
Speaker 2: I think that the expectation is is that anything that's
Speaker 2: associated with the masculine is set as the norm, and
Speaker 2: that anything that deviates from that is set as abnormal,
Speaker 2: and all like arts from the position of being less then,
Speaker 2: and then anything else that doesn't even meet that threshold
Speaker 2: of less then is a failure. And so that's why
Speaker 2: all these things associated with the health of people with
Speaker 2: ovaries and vaginas is characterized that way. I saw that
Speaker 2: in the literature about Jenny Tale as well. Anything's associated
Speaker 2: with vaginas, with women and things like that, the language
Speaker 2: around it is so very very different, or it's passive
Speaker 2: or like a receptacle for things. And the physiology and
Speaker 2: the reality both belie.
Speaker 1: That Elizabeth Rich had a question, use it or lose it?
Speaker 1: Is that fact or flim flam. Does lack of use
Speaker 1: cause penal atrophy?
Speaker 3: Not to my knowledge.
Speaker 1: So if you've got to keep your pen under a
Speaker 1: white sheet like furniture and an abandoned mansion, it's cool,
Speaker 1: just like a chaise lounge, it'll be just fine to
Speaker 1: sit on Later. Bear Hodge and Alison my Sing both
Speaker 1: had questions about penal surgery fouloplasty and are transplants a
Speaker 1: viable option? And is followplasty? Why is that hard to
Speaker 1: get right?
Speaker 2: I'm not a eurological surgeon, so I can't answer the
Speaker 2: latter part of that. I would hope that people, the
Speaker 2: clinicians who are with patients who are asking for these things,
Speaker 2: really dig into what underlies it and that there's a
Speaker 2: physical indication for it.
Speaker 3: This is so terrible.
Speaker 2: Al if you go to message boards, which I did
Speaker 2: because I was going to write about it, I just
Speaker 2: didn't have space, and look at what people with penises
Speaker 2: are doing to try to make them bigger, longer, lasts longer,
Speaker 2: and all these other things. We have a lot of
Speaker 2: work to do to sort of excuse me, but pull
Speaker 2: out away from this kind of like this this feeling
Speaker 2: of urgency that they have, that this thing just has
Speaker 2: to be so huge, because the data show that the
Speaker 2: people that're presumably interested in having sex with just they're not.
Speaker 2: That's not what they put at the top of the list.
Speaker 1: Yeah, any advice for penis havers on how to have
Speaker 1: a better relationship with theirs?
Speaker 2: I could have this conversation about any body part just
Speaker 2: about about which we're not happy, right, is that you
Speaker 2: have it and it's there, and it's doing what it
Speaker 2: can for you, and you're doing what you can with it.
Speaker 2: And that's the most either one of you can ask
Speaker 2: from each other, right, Yeah, Yeah, and understand that you
Speaker 2: have a lot of other body parts that contribute as
Speaker 2: well as the penis does to having a great time
Speaker 2: with one or more other people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great way to look at it too,
Speaker 1: Jackie Fleming. First ye question asker wants to know if
Speaker 1: you have a funny dog joke.
Speaker 3: My book is full of don jokes.
Speaker 2: There's so many, and you know, they just kind of
Speaker 2: they come to you, as it were, and you know,
Speaker 2: it's it's hard to just kick one.
Speaker 1: Got to hand it to her. So many dick ponds
Speaker 1: it's nuts now. Also, a few folks had a question
Speaker 1: my dear friend Greg Walloch, Whom's I love? And first
Speaker 1: time question asker and dong owner Cap and Glover inquired
Speaker 1: as to the rumor that they have heard gay identifying
Speaker 1: men have larger penises on average? Is this true? If so, why?
Speaker 1: And Greg notes, based on some of his own research,
Speaker 1: it seems like this might be true. Few people have
Speaker 1: asked that they have heard that gay identifying men have
Speaker 1: statistically bigger penises than straight identifying men.
Speaker 3: Is that flim flam?
Speaker 2: I sort of kind of poked around, kind of looking
Speaker 2: at that, and not in any kind of significant way
Speaker 2: that I could find. And so it's a complicated question.
Speaker 2: I know why people are asking it, but no, not
Speaker 2: on average that I could find.
Speaker 3: And I did.
Speaker 1: Look, what about the hardest part about your job.
Speaker 3: The book writing.
Speaker 1: Are in general, and as a reproductive someone who looks
Speaker 1: at reproductive biology or evolutionary reology, or or an author
Speaker 1: or a communicator or.
Speaker 2: Oh, I would say that I think the most difficult
Speaker 2: thing is kind of the pain and the empathy I
Speaker 2: feel for people who are struggling with these issues that
Speaker 2: society imposes on them, that there's just no reason for
Speaker 2: society to do that.
Speaker 3: That's actually really difficult for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so empathetic, especially since your book does deal
Speaker 1: with a lot of what we might consider notions of
Speaker 1: toxic masculinity or toxic expectations. That you have delved so
Speaker 1: deep into that and you've come out with such empathy
Speaker 1: and understanding and compassion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel really strongly. I love men and boys,
Speaker 2: and I feel really strongly that we could be doing
Speaker 2: better by them, and if that happens, then in general
Speaker 2: they can be doing better by everybody as well.
Speaker 1: Is there something about your work that's changed the way
Speaker 1: that you're resed your sons?
Speaker 2: No, because when I started this particular work, they were
Speaker 2: like kind of raised. I mean, they're adolescence one of me,
Speaker 2: it's twenty. But it certainly informs some of my conversations
Speaker 2: with them, and I think I'm being even more careful
Speaker 2: than before with language that I use around them about
Speaker 2: men and boys and expectations and that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: M hm. Any advice for parents or I think perhaps yeaheah.
Speaker 2: I think the most important thing we can do is
Speaker 2: to take care with our language and our assumptions. I
Speaker 2: know that when I see people speak to teenagers today,
Speaker 2: they will often make an assumption that teenager is assists
Speaker 2: heterosexual person, and it'll say, you know, do you have
Speaker 2: a girlfriend, do you have a boyfriend?
Speaker 3: That kind of thing.
Speaker 2: I think that we need to be careful about what
Speaker 2: we gender and what we don't and what we show
Speaker 2: is kind of a default expectation, and examine that a
Speaker 2: little more closely and try to be a little more
Speaker 2: neutral and you know, opening statements to people and that
Speaker 2: kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's really great advice. That's awesome. What about something
Speaker 1: that you really cherish about your work? What do you
Speaker 1: love the most?
Speaker 2: My favorite thing about what I get to do for
Speaker 2: a living is the research, the discovery, the going down
Speaker 2: rabbit holes, the finding new things about different people, different
Speaker 2: into cultures, back and forth in history.
Speaker 3: I just love all of that so much.
Speaker 1: Any advice for anyone who loves researching and rabbit holes
Speaker 1: and maybe wants to write a book about this stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, I would say, you have to figure out
Speaker 2: when you can when you need to stop digging at
Speaker 2: some point. And I don't have good advice about that,
Speaker 2: just yeah, you've got to find a way to stop
Speaker 2: yourself from digging at some point.
Speaker 1: As someone who researches this podcast every week, it can
Speaker 1: It's like expanding foam, Like the work will take as
Speaker 1: much time as I give.
Speaker 3: It, exactly right.
Speaker 2: It's almost kind of addictive and you're like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: just spent like fifty hours chasing down this one lizard.
Speaker 3: I need to go in the literature.
Speaker 1: Someone's gotta do it. What a joy, though, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: So ask smart people to explain the long and the
Speaker 1: short of it, because we're just a bag of gam meets.
Speaker 1: We're on this rock for the ride before we die.
Speaker 1: So follow Emily. There are links in the show notes.
Speaker 1: She's on Twitter at EJ. Willingham. Her website is Emily
Speaker 1: Willingham PhD dot com. She is the author of Fallacy,
Speaker 1: Life Lessons from the Animal Penis and the upcoming book
Speaker 1: The Tailored Brain. All of that will be listed in
Speaker 1: the show notes, and there are links up at aliward
Speaker 1: dot com, slash Ology slash Philology. We are at Ologies
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Aliward on both. Come
Speaker 1: be Friends Patreon dot com. Slash Ologies is where you
Speaker 1: can join us a bit questions. Aaron Talbert admins Theologies
Speaker 1: podcast Facebook group Great Group of People. Shannon Felt is
Speaker 1: in Body Dutch Managed Merch and hosts the comedy podcast
Speaker 1: To You Are That. Emily White of the Wordery makes
Speaker 1: our transcripts. Caleb Patten bleeps them, and those are both
Speaker 1: up and free at the link in the show notes.
Speaker 1: Kelly Dwyer makes the website and is available for website design.
Speaker 1: Her link is at the bottom of my alley war
Speaker 1: dot com website. Noel Dilworth handles the booking of guests.
Speaker 3: And is amazing.
Speaker 1: Susan Hale has been making you quizzes on Instagram. Happy
Speaker 1: birthday to her. Jarrett Sleeper edited this week and thankfully
Speaker 1: our romantic relationship doesn't count as harassment most of the time.
Speaker 1: And of course thanks to Stephen Ray Morris who is
Speaker 1: on standby this week and is chief sweety pet. Nick
Speaker 1: Thorburn wrote the theme music and he is in a
Speaker 1: band called Islands. And if you stick around to the
Speaker 1: end of the episode, I tell you a secret. As promised,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you blowjob tips. I source these from
Speaker 1: Penis has from ologites anonymously. Here they are of charge.
Speaker 1: Are you ready? Okay, here we go. I'm gonna list
Speaker 1: off the advice Number one, Please no teeth. Also, don't
Speaker 1: forget the berries. Grab the sack with a spare hand
Speaker 1: where they connect to the peen, gently roll them. Only
Speaker 1: do it if you want to and enjoy it. Make
Speaker 1: an okay sign with your fingers. Gently grasp under the head.
Speaker 1: Fingers go down loose but uptight. Good to know. Stick
Speaker 1: your tongue out on the way down. Wiggle it good
Speaker 1: suction on the way up. Practice controlling your gag reflex,
Speaker 1: focus on breath and rhythm. Don't focus too much on
Speaker 1: the head. It gets no good to know. Don't neglect
Speaker 1: the bulls.
Speaker 3: And enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Mostly it sounds like you should just enjoy it. The
Speaker 1: other bonus secret is I'm very good at drawing dicks
Speaker 1: all over stuff all the time. I've drawn so many
Speaker 1: dicks on so many things, right, Sharrett, It's definitely true.
Speaker 4: I have this beautiful thing this online.
Speaker 1: I drew a picture of a dick for Jared years ago,
Speaker 1: and it's the only thing that he has on his
Speaker 1: wall behind his desk. It says good morning, chair and
Speaker 1: Jess okay, bye bye bye.
Speaker 4: Pacodermatology, hombiology or no zoology, lithology, zechonology, meteorology, pedatology, ethology, zeriologyology.
Speaker 2: And I had to have a penis reduction surgery.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, penis reduction, which there aren't many.
Speaker 3: You're gonna say, I've never heard of that because there
Speaker 3: haven't been many cases.
Speaker 2: Do something, And he said, why do you get one
Speaker 2: of those vagina in large?
Speaker 3: It's Zarah can have some coffee over here,