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Speaker 1: His wedded wife by Rudyard Kipling crime murder in the

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market place, and each will turn upon his neighbor anxious

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eyes that ask art thou the man we hunted cane

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some centuries ago across the world. That bread the fear

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of our own misdeeds maintained to day Bybart's moralities. Shakespeare

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says something about worms, or it may be giant or beetles,

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turning a few tread on them too severely. The safest

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plan is never to tread on a warm not even

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on the last new subaltern from home, with his buttons

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hardly out of their tissue paper, and the red of

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sappy English beef in his cheeks. This is the story

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of the worm that turned. For the sake of brevity,

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we will call Henry Augustus Ramsay say the worm, although

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he really was an exceedingly pretty boy without hair on

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his face and with a waist like a girl's when

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he came out to the second Shikaries and was made

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unhappy in several ways. The Shikaris are a high caste regiment,

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and you must be able to do things well, play

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a banjo, or ride more than little, or sing or

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act to get on with them. The worm did nothing

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except fall off his pony and knocked chips out of

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gate posts with his trap. Even that became monotonous. After

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a time. He objected to whist cut the cloth at

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Billiard's sang out of tune, kept very much to himself,

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and wrote to his Mamma and sisters at home. Four

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of these five things were vices, which the Sikaries objected

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to and set themselves to eradicate. Every one knows how

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subalterns are by brother subalterns, softened and not permitted to

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be ferocious. It is good and wholesome and does no

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one any harm unless tempers are lost, and then there

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is trouble. There was a man once, but that is

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another story. The sickeries sicred the Warm very much, and

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he bore everything without winking. He was so good and

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so anxious to learn, and flushed so pink that his

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education was cut short, and he was left to his

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own devices by every one except the senior subaltern, who

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continued to make life a burden to the Warm. The

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senior Subalton, meant no harm, but his chiffe was coarse,

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and he didn't quite understand where to stop. He had

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been waiting too long for his company, and that always

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sour as a man. Also, he was in love, which

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made him worse. One day, after he had borrowed the

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worm's trap for a lady who never existed, had used

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it himself all the afternoon, had sent a note to

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the worm purporting to come from the lady, and was

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telling the mess all about it. The worm rose and

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his place and said, in his quiet ladylike boys, that

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was a very pretty sale. But i'll lay you a

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month's pay to a month's pay when you get your step.

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That I work a sell on you that you'll remember

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for the rest of your days, and the regiment after

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you when you're dead. Were broke, the worm wasn't angry

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in the least, and the rest of the mess shouted.

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Then the senior subaltern looked at the worm from the

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boots upward and down again, and said, done baby. The

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worm took the rest of the mess to witness that

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the bed had been taken, and retired into a book

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with a sweet smile. Two months passed, and the senior

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subaltern still educated the worm, who began to move about

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a little more as the hot water came on. I

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have said that the senior sobaltern was in love. The

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curious thing is that a girl was in love with

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the senior sobaltron. Though the colonel said awful things, and

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the major snorted, and married captains looked unutterable wisdom, and

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the juniors coughed. Those two were engaged. The senior subaltron

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was so pleased with getting his company and his acceptance

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at the same time that he forgot to bother the worm.

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The girl was a pretty girl and had money of

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her own. She does not come into this story at all.

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One night, at the beginning of the hot Water, all

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the except the worm, who had gone to his own

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room to write home letters, were sitting on the platform

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outside the mess house. The band had finished playing, but

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no one wanted to go in, and the captain's wives

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were there also. The folly of a man in love

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is unlimited. The senior sobaltern had been holding forth on

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the merits of the girl he was engaged to, and

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the ladies were purring approval, while the men yawned. When

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there was a rustle of skirts in the dark, and

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the tired, faint voice lifted itself, Who is my husband?

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I do not wish in the least to reflect on

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the morality of the shickeries. But it is on record

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that four men jumped up as if they had been shot.

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Three of them were married men. Perhaps they were afraid

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that their wives had come from home unbeknounced. The fourth

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said that he had did on the impulse of the moment.

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He explained us afterwards. Then the voice cried, oh, Lionel,

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Lionel was the senior Soubaltron's name. A woman came into

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the little circle of light by the candles on the

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peg tables, stretching out her hands to the dark where

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the senior Subaltrin was, and sobbing. We rose to our feet,

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feeling that things were going to happen, and ready to

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believe the worst. In this bad, small world of ours,

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one knows so little of the life of the next man,

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which after all is entirely his own concern, that one

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is not surprised when a crash comes. Anything might turn

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up any time for any one. Perhaps the senior subaltern

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had been trapped in his youth. Men are crippled that way.

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Occasionally we didn't know, we wanted to hear, And the

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captain's wives were as anxious as we if he had

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been trapped, he was to be excused. For the woman

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from nowhere, in the dusty shoes and gray traveling dress,

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was very lovely, with black hair and great eyes full

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of tears. She was tall, with a fine figure, and

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her voice had a running sob in it pitiful to hear.

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As soon as the senior subaltern stood up, she threw

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her arms round his neck and called him quite darling,

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and said she could not bear waiting alone in England,

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and his letters were so short and cold, and she

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was his to the end of the world, and would

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he forgive her? This did not sound quite like a

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lady's way of speaking. It was too demonstrative. Saying seemed

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black indeed, and the captain's wives peered under their eyebrows

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at the senior's obaltern, and the colonel's face said like

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the day of judgment, framed in gray bristoles, and no

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one spoke for a while. Next the colonel said very shortly, well, sir,

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and the woman saw afresh. The senior Soubletrin was half

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choked with the arms round his neck, but he gasped out,

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it's a lie. I've never had a wife in my life.

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Don't swear, said the colonel. Come into the mess. We

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must sift this clear somehow, And he sighed to himself,

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for he believed in his sickeries, did the colonel. We

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tripped into the ante room under the four lights, and

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there we saw how beautiful the woman was. She stood

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up in the middle of us, all sometimes choking with crying,

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then hard and proud, and then holding out her arms

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to the senior Soblechrin. It was like the fourth act

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of a tragedy. She told us how the senior Subatrin

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had married her when he was home on leave eighteen

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months before, and she seemed to know all that we knew,

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and more too, of his people and his past life.

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He was white and ere, she gray, trying now and

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again to break into the torrent of her words. And we,

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noting how lovely she was, and what a criminal he looked,

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esteemed him a beast of the worst kind. We felt

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sorry for him, though I shall never forget the indictment

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of the senior Subaltrin by his wife, nor will he.

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It was so sudden, rushing out of the dog unannounced

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into our door lives. The captain's wives stood back, but

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their eyes were alight, and you could see that they

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had already convicted and sentenced the senior subaltern. The colonel

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seemed five years older. One major was shading his eyes

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with his hand and watching the woman from underneath it.

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Another was chewing his mustache and smiling quietly, as if

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he were witnessing a play falling the open space in

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the center by the whiz tables, the senior Sobaltron's terrier

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was hunting for fleas. I remember all this as clearly

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as though a photograph were in my hand. I remember

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the look of horror on the senior Sobaltron's face. It

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was rather like seeing a man hanged, but much more interesting. Finally,

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the woman wound up by saying that the senior subletron

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carried the double F M in a tattoo on his

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left shoulder. We all knew that, and to our innocent

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minds it seemed to clinch the matter. But one of

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the bachelor majors said, very politely, I presume that your

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marriage certificate would be more to the purpose. That roused

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the woman. She stood up and sneered at the senior

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sobatron for a cur and abused the major and the

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colonel and all the rest. Then she wept, and then

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she pulled a paper from her breast, saying, imperily take

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that and let my husband, my lawfully wearted husband, read

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it aloud if he dare. There was a hush, and

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the man looked into each other's eyes, as the senior

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subaltern came forward in a dazed and dizzy way and

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took the paper. We were wondering as we stared whether

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there was anything against any one of us that might

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turn a plater on the senior. Sobatron's throat was dry,

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but as he ran his eye over the paper, he

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broke out into a hoarse cackle of relief and said

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to the woman, you young black god. But the woman

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had fled through a door, and on the paper was written,

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this is to certify that I, the worm, have paid

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in full my debts to the senior subaltern, and further

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that the senior subaltern is my debtor by agreement on

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the twenty third of February, as by the mens attested

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to the extent of one man's captain's pay in the

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lawful currency of the Indian Empire. Then a deputation set

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off for the Worm's quarters and found him betwixt and between,

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unlacing his stays with the hat, with surge dress, et cetera.

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On the bed. He came over as he was, and

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the securies shouted till the gunner's men sent over to

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know if they might have a share of the fun.

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I think we were all except the colonel and the

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senior Subalgurn a little disappointed that the scandal had come

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to nothing, but that is human nature. There could be

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no two words about the Worm's acting. It leaned as

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near to a nasty tragedy as anything this side of

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a joke can. When most of the subalterns sat upon

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him with sofa cushions to find out why he had

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not said that acting was his strong point, he answered

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very quietly, I don't think you ever asked me. I

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used to act at home with my sisters. But no

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acting with girls could account for the Worm's display that night. Personally,

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I think it was in bad taste. Besides being dangerous.

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There is no sort of use in playing with fire,

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even for fun. The sickeries made him president of the

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Regimental Dramatic Club, and when the senior Subalterne paid up

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his debt, which he did at once, the worm sank

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the money in scenery and dresses. He was a good worm,

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and the chickeries are proud of him. The only drawback

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is that he has been christened Missus senors Sobaltrin, and

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as there are now two mistress senor Sobaltrins in the station,

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this is sometimes confusing to strangers. Later on, I will

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tell you of a case something like this, but with

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all the chest left out and nothing in it, but

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real trouble.