Speaker 1: Well, hello and thanks for getting your pot on with
Bill a Fied. Coming up in this episode, our good friend, bartender,
uber driver and comedian Doug Phelps joins me in the
studio and I.
Speaker 2: Ask him if he ever worries about life?
Speaker 1: Do you worry about like if let's say.
Speaker 2: What, it doesn't look like I worry about anything? No,
it actually doesn't. Thirty pounds over weight, I got doubled
eggs in my fridge. Yeah, but go ahead, Maybe maybe
you found something I worry about.
Speaker 1: We all know bartenders are basically amateur psychologists with a
liquor license. But Doug offers up a tip in case
you ever find yourself in that role.
Speaker 2: Sometimes what you got to do just listen. Yeah right,
You don't need to give advice. Just people just want
to get this weight off my chest, you know, I
just need to I can't talk to my wife, I
can't talk to the just man, Doug. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Could Doug be crossing the line.
Speaker 2: Here's a question I want to give you. All right,
ready for this one? I can't wait. Long time friend
of mine. It's a woman, Yeah, turning forty tomorrow's your birthday? Okay, okay, yeah,
her husband is doing nothing? How do you know?
Speaker 1: Because all that more coming up. But first, don't forget
to check out Bill Moran Productions dot com.
Speaker 2: We're gonna find.
Speaker 1: All the episodes, some great show clips, some juicy behind
the scenes extras, and if you'd like to become a
supporter of the Pirate Ship, just click the link in
the episode description.
Speaker 3: Now, let's get bilified when your old career gives you
lemons throwing some ice mix in some vodka. Call it
a podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in
Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dots Jeep Ram. It's Bilified,
the Bill Moran Podcast, Where hell hello and welcome.
Speaker 1: Thanks for getting your pot on, Thanks for telling a friend.
That's how we spread the word about the pirate Chip looks.
Speaker 2: In the house. Oh my godness, I'm back baby, beautiful day.
Happy Mother's day everybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're taping on a on a mama's day.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, the U.
Speaker 1: But Doug came in here and he was like a
kind of like a video to an old song, video
doing old You were a video to an old song.
Speaker 2: My friend?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I hope you're definitely the video
to an old song. Nope, let's see.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, did you get sleep last night?
Speaker 1: I don't know how this started.
Speaker 2: How do you not know? Star?
Speaker 1: What's the song from the Breakfast Club?
Speaker 2: Oh? Oh, this is I didn't realize the video was.
I wasn't a baseball player.
Speaker 1: I know Glory Ry Days, Glory Days. Doug came in
here talking about finding an old wrestling match from nineteen
eighty eight against Fairport.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, when Doug walked out and pinned a guy. Yeah,
my high school wrestling coach.
Speaker 1: What fun is that to see?
Speaker 2: It's like a it is.
Speaker 1: It's one hundred pounds ago.
Speaker 2: First of all, one hundred pounds. Yeah, he was wrestling
one thirty eight and now I'm two thirty eight. Okay,
sad to say if I start crying on the airplane,
to hold it against me. But I still keep in
touch with my high school wrestling coach. She gets a
Christmas card every year, and yeah every year or so
wait she he oh I thought you did.
Speaker 1: Okay, So he called me up and he said, hey,
I found VHS tapes.
Speaker 2: I think you're on here, and you wought him. I'm
like absolutely So the guy that was a junior, his
father had a video camera, which back then was a
big deal. A big deal. Oh yeah, you're rich. So
it started in eighty seven, going in eighty eight, which
we graduated, and then he had eighty eight to eighty nine,
which we weren't on. So okay, I'm going through all
these tapes fast forwarding because obviously I just want to
see myself.
Speaker 1: Can you get them digitized? I think you can, and
then put them up on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's all said.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is amazing. This is amazing because you're now
at the age where you get mad when the grocery
store rearranges the aisles and you can't find anything, and
you're pill mad.
Speaker 2: At Mount Reed Wagman, they changed around. In fact, last
night I stopped for some flowers and I'm like, yeah,
I'm not getting any flowers.
Speaker 1: Why I couldn't find them?
Speaker 2: No, they're right as you walk in. I didn't like
any of the arrangements, but I did get ice cream
and Spanish peanuts and chocolate syrup.
Speaker 1: For Oh, so you made yourself Mexican Sunday.
Speaker 2: Yes. So they had two lines and everybody else had
the same idea. They're shopping, They're seven deep, like fucking
ice creams. Get them mile and go. No, get this.
So guy says, I'm going to open up the self checkout,
give me a minute.
Speaker 1: Wait, self checkout wasn't open.
Speaker 2: What night is this?
Speaker 1: It was ten thirty, ten thirty at night? Yeah, Ubert,
some friends Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2: They hired me outside.
Speaker 1: No, but I mean, well, whether or not you go
at ten thirty is kind of your choice. But the
fact that other people, oh, that's an odd thing. Some
people shop at night. There's no lines, sure you don't have,
but they don't have the self checkout. Do they have
a problem with theft? All of them do because I
never to see the checkout. This self checkout closed at
my weagments.
Speaker 2: Ever, Well, you probably don't go late at night. The
customer service is open till nine o'clock, so you can
run your lotto cards or Mega millions or whatever. Close sometime. Yeah,
I mean to have pay somebody to watch you put.
Speaker 1: Your Well, they close at midnight. I've been in there
at ten eleven and I've done self checkout.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, well it's fair poor you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's nobody because it's a weird thing, like there
are weird This sounds shitty and snobby, but you can
sort of tell that you're in a nice section of
town versus a bad section by the Walmart.
Speaker 1: Like no, no, no, listen.
Speaker 2: No, I'm with you this way.
Speaker 1: Right, there's a certain Walmart that they don't have self
check out anymore at.
Speaker 2: All, and there's Walmart to have a police officer outside
twenty four seven. Yeah, but if you go to Canadagua,
you can eat off those like florests.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh yeah, we're out there. The victim is nice.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I mean we're out there. I'm making a
stop even if I don't need anything walk.
Speaker 1: I mean Walmart's Walmart, right, you get the things you need.
I call it like disposable clothing. If you're gonna pick
it up there, it's not something. It is not a
piece that you're gonna hang on to or.
Speaker 2: I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: What do you mean Walmart? Yeah, you mean you get
a nice piece of clothing that you're gonna wear to
pull over for the winter. You'll wear it a couple
of years. Well that's what I mean. But I'm saying
when I Okay, when I say disposable, I mean like
if you got it stained up, the fucking you know
what I mean. But if you spent, you're not spending
one hundred dollars on a shirt. No, no, but I I, uh, yeah,
it is weird, right. I didn't know they closed the
self checkout even at Wegmans, because I go. I feel
like it's impossible to steal from Wegmans.
Speaker 2: I think I've snuck a cannatuna fish. Every now and
then it's like, beep in the bag, next one beep,
Oh that one worked, Fuck it? Oh I'll find no
no right, Or you grab two things and then they're
all beeping around you and then you're like, do this
beep you? And you're like, why am I checking myself?
Why am I even doing this? Why is Wegmans having
self The prices haven't changed and I'm working for them.
Speaker 1: Do you we have like I would love to see
you have a fucking meltdown, not a meltdown. I don't
want to see you have a meltdown, but I think
it would be like it would be a really funny
scene in a fucking movie if you oh.
Speaker 2: You know what, I have had a meltdown, not a meltdown. Yeah.
So when my mother was alive, she passed away. This October.
She would get coupons or as most people do, sue
the coupons for Tops. And she wasn't a coffee drinker, Tika,
but she liked coca cola. She drank coke, I remember.
So they'd have by two, get three free eighteen packs
or what. Yeah, so let's load up. Okay, mom, picking
you up?
Speaker 1: So five, ten, now fifteen, hold on, hold on, yeah,
So she's in her rider.
Speaker 2: I'm in the car. Coke up to here hard the
expression alkaple scarface. So you're trying to each one beep
and put it on there, scan it, get the code.
Now you're up to fifteen. Now it's not working. Now
her card isn't working the coop when I was working.
So and this is all itself checkout. Yes, this is
solid tops. So you know the eighteen year old assistant manager.
They just got their jobt rind of high school. Well,
you gotta scan them all again. I go, they're all
in there. Why am I you can fix this. I
gotta skin them all. I gotta take them on the
you gotta put them back over here, take the money
car again for fifteen. I'm like, really, this is great? Okay,
Well let me know if you need I go, no,
just stand here, Just stand here and make sure I'm
doing it right. So yeah, I'm not doing this the
third time, right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now I have another observation, Okay, I have because Tops
runs decent deals, it seems like, but I'm never sure
if they're really good deals or not. You know what
I'm saying, Like, you can buy one, get one free,
or buy one, but then you're you're like, oh, you know,
or spend twenty five dollars and get all this other
stuff with.
Speaker 2: Ten for ten.
Speaker 1: Do you ever see those when you walk in ten
for ten. So I haven't been in Tops in a
couple of months now because I was buying a bunch
of stuff and then I'm like, I'm not sure if
it's worth it. And I'm also a member at one
of those you know warehouses that you can go and
buy a bunch of shit and beaches. Yeah, and I go,
I said, I don't even know if that's better or
not in my situation.
Speaker 2: And then all these.
Speaker 1: Is right there and Wegmans, and Wegmans is probably a
little more expensive, and you know, so you can get
all this shit. But I remember being in Tops their
ow self checkouts never fucking work. I've never had a
problem at a Wegman's one. I've I've never had a
problem at on all these one. I've seen people have
problems at the all these one, but I blame the
people because I've never had a problem.
Speaker 2: I go, that's your problem.
Speaker 1: If you're if you're what tops all the fucking time
they go down, if you were shopping for five people,
you have to figure out where you're saving money, because yeah,
twenty five thirty five dollars a week, heads up, no shit, But.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm figuring we're probably somewhere in that.
Speaker 1: You know, you're probably at like one fifty a week,
maybe two hundred right a week, And that starts.
Speaker 2: To I'll tell you what starts to right now, my frigerator.
I get doubled eggs. Yeah, that's what I'm taking a Okay,
very nice eggs, sausage and Jenny late I have.
Speaker 1: I want to picture eggs, sausage and Jenny like, this
is fucking great, that's so funny. I don't I just
cook for myself.
Speaker 2: So it's got to be something like if I make
a big bowl of ghoulage, I'm having Google life for
like four days. Always mind that a met low for.
Speaker 1: Egg roast, eggs, sausage and Jenny, Oh my god, that
is like bler city.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, wow. I don't buy stuff and freeze it
because it's not a good you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, look at the steak.
Speaker 2: It's you don't even you don't.
Speaker 1: Meal prep or anything. No, what about your friends are
like divorced, they go through these mid life changes. I
think they have theirfrigerators full. Yeah, because that's how they're
used to. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the kids are bouncing over back and forth.
Speaker 1: But right, what not, Dougie me? I eat as they go.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you worry about like if let's say what
it does look like, worry about anything? No, it actually doesn't.
Thirty pounds weight, I got double eggs in my fridge. Yeah,
but go ahead. Maybe maybe you found something I worry
about dying alone. Yeah that's it. No. I do worry
about dying a lot.
Speaker 1: If you died and no one found it for like
three or four days, people would wonder where I was.
Who you You'd be calling if it was you know
podcast right, yeah.
Speaker 2: That would be it. You know, podcasts are working at
forest Hill, so what days? So if you died on
the Tuesday. Yeah, it might be.
Speaker 1: It might be Friday.
Speaker 2: It might be Friday. Yeah, I wouldn't be looking too
good because people they call and I don't answer, they
just figure out out uber.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'll get it back to Yeah, I understand, dude.
Is that really a fear of yours?
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what A few months ago I had
I don't know what I ate, but I'm walking through
the house and all of a sudden, my esophagus closed
up and it was I was it was almost like
a I could only get air through a straw hole.
So I'm like, don't panic, right, just try to get air. Yeah,
don't call nine one one yet, but you know you
don't want to. You don't want to panic in anymore.
So I don't know if it was a peanut or what,
but I do hit. I ete peanuts a lot. I
don't think I have a peanut analogy. It was just
really you really weird. It's strange that and I do
think about that something. Sure, buddy, Yes, and you gotta
have your cell phone and you get.
Speaker 1: Your on my phone and I can't get out. Yes,
well no, but my mother didn't want that, like she
didn't want the I phone on I can't get up.
Speaker 2: So she got the smart.
Speaker 1: Watch because it does detect falls, it does call nine
one one, and it does all that shit. And I
swear to God for your fucking birthday, I may have
to start a gofund me. We might raise four dollars
to it. It will be from bots, but we'll get
some fucking money. And we gotta get to that because
you can't. That is a serious thing.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: And not to say that you're old. I don't care.
This could happen at thirty five. You fall, you trip,
you get you come home drunk, trip over one of
the dogs you're sitting and hit your head on the
counter and go down. You're done it, Well, you could
be done. There's a chance, there's a chance.
Speaker 2: Well, I had the I think I told you I
had the gout last summer, right, and I could not
barely get out of bed. I mean, it hurts so bad.
You've never had the gout, right, I told you about that.
If you put a bed sheet on your foot in
the his gout, it is incredibly painful. Yeah, So I
had to scooch my ass to the living room, barely
making the bandsom pissing in the tub because you can't
put any pressure on, so you're lifting yourself up on
the sink and then calling friends and I called my
landlord downstairs and like, you have to open downstairs. I
don't know if you opened my door. And I called
my buddy for ib your profile. And then another friend
came over with actual gout medicine because he had the
same thing. And you're just sitting there and I kept
getting myself in the bath tub and just running cold
water over it.
Speaker 1: Shit, I really whatever, you feel like you're on fire
or something.
Speaker 2: It's just it's just incredibly painful. It's like remember when
you're a kid, you let your foot fall, leg fall asleep,
and yeah, you have little pins and needles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I multiply that times a thousand. I get that
a lot pins and needles like in my hands. Yeah,
and then yeah, because if my arms are bent sort
of like this, if I'm reading or something, I always
have to they'll go numb. And the reason that is
is from I think from holding mits for so many
years where people are just pounding your hands and you
always get those clowns in a boxing class that I
want to show off and really, fucking well, you well
your way and you're just airing going, pop up, papa up.
Well you're impacting all that is being absorbed, right, And
I think I have some like nerve damage pince nerves
somewhere in my elbow.
Speaker 2: So I both hands elbow.
Speaker 1: Is that what it is?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, but the nerve will roll over and then
tries to stretch. You can't stretch enough, and that's where
you get that pain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have I don't have the pain here.
It makes my hands numb, like my hands are cutting
off blood vessels too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Probably. So I gotta get going and you gotta stretch,
stretch it out.
Speaker 1: That's it. This is the age.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right.
Speaker 1: You care more about fiber. You're jealous of people get colonoscopies.
Speaker 2: That's douggie fun dad.
Speaker 1: Yes, you got your weird sexuality and you don't give
a shit man.
Speaker 2: Oh right, yeah, yes, a little more.
Speaker 1: Self confidence on the dating apps.
Speaker 2: Now you're like, hey, this is me, this is me here,
I am here, I am taking Yes, I like that.
Of course. The girls I'm seeing the dating apps are
the same girls I saw twenty years ago when they
first came out, So they're not having the same lucky either. Wait,
you see the same women on the dating apps, you
see them on multiple dating games.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you'll go on at least for a couple
of months.
Speaker 2: And then I wonder if some women just like to date.
Oh yeah, who doesn't like a free meal?
Speaker 1: No, but I mean, like, just you know, I'll be
with this guy and he treats me well and it's
all right, and I don't have to really commit, and
then I go on another date and it could be fun.
But are do you think most people on dating apps
and I don't know, I've never been on one, are
looking for a committed relationship or I've heard people certainly
people have. Yeah, yes, they've got the good stories out there. Yes,
I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think people are just you're single, you're lonely. You
just yeah, you're looking for you know what's out there?
Speaker 1: You're looking for some companionship, do you Here's the thing
that I often think, because I uh, I have come
to the conclusion and think about your own friends who
have gotten divorced. I think most of the time, more
often than not, men get into a relationship a new
relationship faster than women.
Speaker 2: We joked with a buddy of mine those getting divorced.
You're gonna have a girlfriend before I get my first marriage, Yeah,
sure enough.
Speaker 1: He did. Yeah, so but they're both right. So there,
I'm not saying that that it's it's bad, right or wrong.
Speaker 2: I thought I would get more hits if I said
I was already divorced. Sometimes people think, well, you've never
been married, what's.
Speaker 1: Wrong with you?
Speaker 2: Right, what's wrong with you? That's a good point, But
I'm but I think the.
Speaker 1: Guys who are divorced also there's an I hate to
say that it was sort of an emotional dependency on
another person. You like a woman's perspective, you know, I.
Speaker 2: Don't think I do.
Speaker 1: I think like Derek Carr retired and from from the NFL,
and it said that he sat down with his wife,
and I'm like, yeah, when you have those big emotional
intimate things, I don't guys don't usually talk to guys
as much. I think even you would probably go to
one of your female friends to talk about certain things.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because women are just better emotionally than guys are.
And I think that that that's a big thing, and
that's why I often see guys get into a relationship
faster than women. But then because I think of myself
and I'll go, you know, before and have somebody go
out on a Friday night Saturday. But then I go, yeah, but.
Speaker 2: What happens on surday morning?
Speaker 1: Wow? What happens when I gotta do shit?
Speaker 2: And I got this?
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you're.
Speaker 2: Just gotta understand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wife, I know, but a lot of times there
is so you're.
Speaker 2: Worried about all the little things during the week, but
when you have this big, mountainous, uh decision make, then
it's good.
Speaker 1: To have a woman.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So you don't have enough
of those big decisions or not anymore.
Speaker 1: Or I've decided I want to hear the best decision
is my decision. I've been there, believe.
Speaker 2: On a three hundred and sixty five days you need
it for like, yeah, two days for a big decision. Well,
I'm just what color card are you like? I don't know, honey,
what are you like? All right, we'll go with the red. Right.
Other than that, you're like, yeah, yeah, you know, after wegmans,
I don't need it for that. I'm just saying, dog,
I'm just saying I have a girlfriend. Uh, oh, girl,
it's a friend. I you can Her girlfriend was in
from out of town and she asked me. She texted
me last night, where's a waterfront bar? Yeah? I want
to take Sam there? Okay, So I said, well, Lachlan
Schooner doesn't Schooners doesn't open n till next week, said
Marges Marges Ironquay. So I don't know where they went.
But she didn't need me for a big, huge decision.
But that little thing, she she asked, that's that's all
all right?
Speaker 1: Well, uh, we'll take it. Will take a moment. Uh,
there's something happened in Florida. But I don't know if
you've ever seen anything like this happen.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what something happened in my Wait what
uber ride the other day? Oh this is great. Probably
might reflect that, it might it might.
Speaker 1: Why don't we do that. I'll hold onto the Florida
story because I wanted to know, Uh, why do people
sometimes treat uber drivers bartenders and the and the other
like a therapist? I mean you have had to hear
some stories, yes that in your rides? Yeah, some good
and some that's a good h I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, we'll get to all that right after this,
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Speaker 2: You got the Mother's Day special here with the number
one podcast in all the rock shot child, the Man,
the myth legend, mister Bill Moran on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Let me say, let's kick.
Speaker 1: It right Yeah, port Brandy. I know she's got all
the goods, but hey, baby, I love to see more
than I love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well say that because I just I had a
date last week with a retired Navy Navy woman.
Speaker 1: Seventy yeah's she was a major in the Navy.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, she was wild. She's on a bail ship.
She had unde pins for nipple ricks fucking while yeah,
pull yes, throw anything in coming.
Speaker 1: Working on that new bit.
Speaker 2: From the sea. They had the walk yesterday the Preast
Cancer Coalition w Yeah, mcc I don't know how many people,
but you were saying about being a therapist to people.
There's people that you you bartend for over a couple
of years and then yeah, you don't see him in
a while, then you might find out they have cancer. Yeah,
you know where you know we're standing out. Sandy found out.
She's kind of laying low. She's you know, she'll be
in here next week she's had the chemo and you know,
people's lives.
Speaker 1: But do you ever get like the overshare from even strangers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes they're just talking way too much, like I
don't want to talk to this guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the overshare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, yes, they just keep rambling talking about everything.
You know, like, let's you know some people in this
happened recently a friend that become friends with her and
her husband the past uh a few years. At another place,
you know, she said, we're getting a divorce. So because
you asked where, you know, where's Bob? Yeah, where's Bob?
You're like, okay, what's the matter. You know, Bob's leaving me.
Speaker 1: Are most people living two versions of themselves? Well from
that from those stories that you hear, like they're presenting
one thing out there, but you find out these.
Speaker 2: You mean putting a good face, Well, they don't want
to share with everybody. I think that would be I
think that would be everybody in the world, you know.
I mean, it's not like you're a spy. You know,
you're doing a podcast and you're off to rushing to
get some secret documents. That's that's you have no idea
what I do conries and get loaded.
Speaker 1: I turned into an irishman, right?
Speaker 2: What was so?
Speaker 1: What happened in near Uber this week?
Speaker 2: So how do I explain this? Anyways? In bringing a
person home and they're on the phone with somebody saying
how they want to fight this other girl. So this
is a woman, This is a woman. I don't want
to say where it was or it was or whatever.
And she's just going off how they're I'm going to
come to your place, You're gonna come to mine. You know,
her mother's getting involved, both of their mothers getting involved.
Speaker 1: How old of a person, I.
Speaker 2: Would say, eighteen eighteen twenty.
Speaker 1: Early, yeah, late teens, early twenties, out of high school. Yeah,
And I'll get this person.
Speaker 2: I'll get this person. I know how she fights and
bob By, this was a twelve minute car ride. So
from the time I picked her up to time I
dropped her off, it was all about the fight. And well,
she just wants to fight me, fine, or we can
go to Lilac. She go, she wants to go to
the Lilac Festival and have an audience. And I'm like,
this is terrible, it is terrible, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Just listening to this.
Speaker 2: I you know, I'll turn the radio down just to
you know, going on turns my thumb, will just turn
the radio down a little bit. And she kept just
kept saying the same thing. We can fight, I can
go here, we can meet here.
Speaker 1: So she's talking to the person she wants to fight. No,
she talked to her friend. Okay, her friend saying wolf, yeah,
and what's the fight over?
Speaker 2: You know what? I don't even remember. Okay, I don't
I don't even remember. I think it was just they
wanted to fight. They didn't like each other, and that's yeah, yeah,
reason enough. You're actually right, I don't like her, If
she doesn't like me, we're gonna fight. But to say,
we need an audience, we can do it at a
Lilac festival. That's what you want. And I'm like, I'm
just sitting there driving, like, really, gonna go to the
Lilac festival, meet to this place and just start fighting
in front of everybody. You don't know, grandparents' kids, doesn't
matter who's around. I'm like, where's And in the end,
she got out of the car and said, uh, sorry
about the ghetto talks her. I'm like, that's what she
said to you, Yeah, it's just it's life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't want to say so. Maybe maybe it's
her just blown off steam to a friend. No, no,
this is going to happen, you think so? Damn So
if we hear something, oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I look at the news to see if anything
happens at Lilac Fest.
Speaker 1: This is crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really sad.
Speaker 1: What do you do with information like that? Can you?
I mean, you know what, I kept it honestly to
like tell the police. Hey man, I just had an
number rider. I dropped them off here they're talking about fighting,
just to tip you off. I was thinking that because
they're already prepared for that. I mean they put police office.
Yeah they are. But it's still shitty because it's one person, right,
two people, all right, but two people that can paint
something that has been has historic roots in this town
with a broad brush to go. I'm not going right
one one thing and it could just be a fistfight
or crowds running and people get startled and scared and
they don't want to be around. Then they don't want
to go to Lilac Fast. That's what I'm saying. Something
you die and you start to there's a big stadium
on Broad Street. Yeah, and nothing's going on there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Open that up to people that want to fight.
You want to fight, go in there, tickets. I love it.
People keep the innocent people out of it. I love it.
Have a doctor on hand, empt have at it. Yeah, yes,
I mean, stand people. You could do a whole show.
Speaker 1: You could have like, oh, I'm sure it'll become parents
and a girl and all this. You get in there
and you and man, you rumble.
Speaker 2: You've got the m m A, the octagon, all that.
Why not in the stadium. Just have at it. Yeah,
I mean, check everybody for guns and knives and everything
before walking in, because if there's one fight out there,
there's gonna be another fight in the stands.
Speaker 1: Or you line up. You know you're talking.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's take it out there, but at least you're
away from everybody. I love this.
Speaker 1: It's a great way to solve it.
Speaker 2: You know, you get your fight on, nobody's dying, and
you're not bothering anybody.
Speaker 1: Other than that ride. That's a rarity.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, once a year, twice a year, okay, you know,
but most of the people I've seen girls this was
a few years ago on their phone. They had video
that had videos of the girl They're gonna fight, yeah,
saying see she pulls her hair and when she does that,
I'm gonna upper cover. I'm gonna come right up under
her chin. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean they're already planning it. They're breaking down film. Yes,
and these girls were in high school fourteen thirteen, fourteen fifteen,
somewhere in the little circle, and they're ready to kick it.
Speaker 2: I took some people, a couple of girls. This was
last let's see September. Yeah, anyways, for rent. They were
so pissed the money got taken out of their account.
They wanted them Wait, it was done electronically, something they
weren't happy. And the whole way there. If she says
one word, I'm climbing over that desk and I'm gonna
kick your ass and bha, shit, they were all set
for whatever happens. Even if the person is said good morning,
ready to swing.
Speaker 1: Man, it's a very different mentality. I always think that
if your first instinct is to put your hands on somebody,
there's something wrong with you if that's your first instinct.
And I think that we haven't done a great job
in uh teaching people like problem, solving some kind of
dynamics to diffuse things, to try to find I mean,
and you see it, and I think a lot of
it stems from I'm just fucking angry.
Speaker 2: I'm angry. I'm angry at the.
Speaker 1: Way I was raised or the lack of or not
raised or not raised or no direction right, and and uh,
it's sad. It is, it's sad. I mean, there's you know,
and I do. I really think that there's a lot
of anger that people have, and this is this is
how it comes out.
Speaker 2: It comes out. I'm getting angry at the having sometimes
just I mean, I went to pick up my friends
last night. There's a guy in a bike, all black,
no reflectors, going across the way. I could easily hit him.
Thank god I saw something sparkle on his shirt or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a problem.
Speaker 2: It is a problem. It's a huge problem. And if
I hit you, yes, I'm gonna feel terrible. Yes, I'm
the one in trouble. What or if I hit you
into somebody else's car and then I affect their lives?
Speaker 1: What about.
Speaker 2: You? Tell us the bad?
Speaker 1: Have there been any unexpectedly almost beautiful moments that you've
witnessed in some way.
Speaker 2: Well, the girl that blew me to take her to Canadega.
But I don't know if it was blue, it was sloppy.
I don't know if you call it beautiful. But she's
run out of money and her boyfriend cut up her
credit cards. I gotta go to Canadaga to my grandparents' house.
Can I blow you instead? I'm like, all right, jump up,
this is this is bullshit. Yeah it sounds good, right, No,
but I'm just saying, like something vulnerable. I did have
an uber ride from the Gates Motel the Hotel hotel. Oh,
She's like, if you wait for me, you can, I'll
let you nut in me. She said that, Yeah, she
was from She said she was hitting the Gates Motel.
I didn't know how old she was. She looked like
she was six seventeen years old. I'm living with my grandmother.
I'm just up here for a little while. I got
this a little trick. You wait for me and drive
me back, I'll let you nut. I'm like, I'll let
you nut twice. I'm like, as nice as that sounds,
I'm out here just just making money. So yeah, good
luck to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, no Wow, it happened, Barter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like this cow used to be little Housin
and prairie. Hey, I'll make you a dusk if you
give me the cow.
Speaker 1: But I mean, is there anything that reminds you that
most people are basically good? Because I or are you
just oh yeah? I mean do you see because you
I here's the thing, like I go, Doug's got a
crusty exterior, like your heart's got a little crust on it.
You know, you get a little you've seen there's some things.
You have certain opinions about that. But when you get
sort of you just poked through that, it's a big
Nugati center. You're a big softie. Yeah, you're a big softy, happy,
caring giving the whole roller coaster. I know, but I
mean that that's what you are. But this stuff kind
of hardens you a little bit, it does it bothers you?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: But is there anything that There's got to be something good?
There had to be I know, like you drove those
people to the pet cemetery and to meet some stupid
remark about Hey, what's in the buck? That's our dead cat?
I mean I felt people with their wheelchairs with Walkers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not always heartwarming.
Speaker 1: What about at the bar? Any good stories? At the bar,
you see somebody like, you know, they announced that they're
getting married, or.
Speaker 2: Well, I've done three weddings for Forest. Yeah, there you go,
and I'm doing two this year from there. All right,
you know, I think they just had a couple of
the other day come over and went through all the
music and everything, and it's just a small little wedding
and like she's like, it's just you know, it's only
well fifty people. I'm like that, don't worry about it.
I'm like, fifty to two fifty, there's no difference. Play
all the same music. We're gonna play what you want
your day. And then she was talking about I don't
know if I'm gonna dance with my dad. I'm like,
and then you have to ask are you in good
terms with your dad? Oh? Yeah, he just doesn't dance.
I'm like, look, we don't have to play it four
minute song. We can say, okay, here comes so and
so and so and so with the father, and I'll
cut it forty five seconds at least, have that moment,
one moment you know he's good, he's.
Speaker 1: Gonna want to go, so I go.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm here for. I'm here to enlighten you
in some things that you might not have thought of.
They had never heard of the anniversary dance. Have you
seen this? Yes? Okay?
Speaker 1: And that's more.
Speaker 2: And there people are getting away from the garter and
the bouquet. I don't want him going up, and I said, yeah,
I said, look, don't get the guarter, but I go
on the bouquet. There's gonna be single women there that
everybody likes that because then next girl that gets it,
I've got three guarters. I don't get nothing.
Speaker 1: So doesn't always work. But it doesn't work. That's funny.
I got to think too, like the bar when people
are drunk, are they more like more honest in those
conversations than they are?
Speaker 2: Oh? I've had people tell me stuff that they you know,
I told you that. I'm like, hey, you did, I
just it's what did they tell you a few weeks ago?
Speaker 1: You're the keeper of secrets.
Speaker 2: Sometimes all you gotta do just listen, right. You don't
need to give advice. Just people just want to get
this weight off my chest, you know, I just need
to I can't talk to my wife I can't talk
to it. Just man, Doug, thanks for listening. Yeah have
you gotten that?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thanks? Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Friends going through divorce, just spewing everything. This is happening
my family, this I my mother's everybody's telling me to
get a divorce, a divorce lawyer. I don't, I don't
want to, I don't want to give up, and blah
blah blah. I'm just like, you know, you gotta do it.
It's your life's life, it's your life. What do you feel.
Speaker 1: It's very hard because we become somewhat dependent on other
people's opinions of things, but the only one that matters.
Speaker 2: Is yours, yes and ultimately right, And you've.
Speaker 1: Got to find like right now, I'm I'm my big
thing and I'm more looking for I'll call it next year,
but the next academic year, right for my son. My
big thing is you know, here comes a fifteen year
old kid who lived in the South, was in a school.
He'll tell you about fights that were going on and
held up at nine point all this stuff, and then
wound up in what's called Renaissance school, where you went
two days a week and you did the rest online
so you could sleep to noon. But as long as
your work was done, it didn't matter. And he was
coming here. And my big thing was, I.
Speaker 2: Just believe there's breeding laziness.
Speaker 1: To be honest, it could, I mean it could. It
takes So I've seen other kids who've gone to rent
us On schools and they have parents that are just
on top of them, right, and they're in all kinds
of activities, and they may be working and have an apprenticeship.
I've seen these things, and so there's a purpose, right,
there's a good thing. Not school is not I think
we have school designed incorrectly. We've been doing the same
thing for over two hundred years, and I don't know
that we need to do it that way. I think
there could be some changes to things, but whatever, that's not.
Speaker 2: Here nor there. Well, we have been changing, we've been
dropping our standards. Now in New York State, you don't fail,
you don't get left behind. They get all f's and
you're going to the next grade.
Speaker 1: I don't know, yeah, I don't know if that's true.
Speaker 2: I have teacher friends, yeah yeah, yeah, I mean suspension, expulsion, No,
he's misunderstood. We'll just give them in school, detention in
school suspension.
Speaker 1: Yeah iss, yeah, yeah, Well one of the reasons the
school wants to do that is because they need the
bodies there to get the state.
Speaker 2: Aid, right, so it comes down to money. Don't worry
that we're we're not teaching these We got the Japanese man.
Let's see three, you draw lines and you count the dots,
because that's what you do. Wegman's when you're going, Okay,
I got a I got bread, I got milk, I
got eggs. I guess sausage. I guess so I guess one, two, three, four.
Speaker 1: I got six things. I'm sorry, I'm holding lineback.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. No, I understand what you're saying, and you
know what. I'm sorry to say this, but in any
any sport, when you're having a slump, get back to basics. Yeah,
we don't. We don't need IPI pads in school. Get
a piece of paper, so do your work.
Speaker 1: Not so sure about that, only because I will say
that the world is going in that direction and.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have enough time on their phones outside.
Speaker 1: No, but if you can teach how to use these
things other than an entertainment hub, I think that's important.
I do, because they're not going away. You're not putting
this genie back. How do you spell?
Speaker 2: Psychiatrists? You're not learning how to you're copying from this
to that, So you're not teaching your brain anything A
little bit, a lot of it. I think anything you need,
you're just gonna find that here.
Speaker 1: You can. I mean, you can improve your writing and
your communication and all that sort of stuff, but you're
not putting that genie back in the body.
Speaker 2: That you can.
Speaker 1: You can kind of wingle the cork in a little bit.
But my point with my son was it was gonna
be a big stretch for him. So he's got a
lot of awards this year, academically done all these things.
Now my big thing is how do I find the
way that your self worth comes from within you, not
without you, not outside of you, not dependent on friends,
not dependent on someone feeling like I got the right X,
Y or Z, and you're not really gonna ever, I guess,
get away from that.
Speaker 2: But now that's my big goal for next year. How
do I build you so your.
Speaker 1: Your happiness comes from within you and not outside of
right and that you feel good.
Speaker 2: That's a tough one of that is because you want friends,
you got to be accepted.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know you're doing it all.
Speaker 2: Great, you're doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh this sucks right exactly. So that's my big thing.
And so the only thing I can think is you've
got to be consistent and then you've got to do
things like we've got to get to the gym.
Speaker 2: We've got to do So that's where you know, debating
and standing up for yourself is a big one too.
So if your friends say, oh, you're going to the gym,
that's wasted time, say, oh, it's not. No, And if
you don't, if you don't like it, then we don't
have to hang out they you want that friend is
so bad And that's really tough. It is tough.
Speaker 1: Like I've been wanting to go. Like the other day,
I take them over to the y and he's got
to He goes, hey, can so and so come with us?
I go, yeah, I had a phone call. So I
go to sit at one of the tables and it's
upstairs and it's overlooking the pool. These guys it's like
they're in club med there. Lean back. I gets the pool,
just talking and all of a sudden I get a
text because I said we're going to be leaving it
X you know this time? And I get a text
five minutes before, Hey, we're in the game room.
Speaker 2: What what was? Oh? We played basketball?
Speaker 1: We lifted weights. I go for what three minutes? Look
at them? You lift it with your eyes.
Speaker 2: I'll want to be there an hour, two hours, an
hour and a half, ninety minutes, ninety minutes, ninety minutes.
Speaker 1: Now could have been. I wasn't with them the whole time.
I aren't gonna, you know, let you do your thing.
But so that's why I'm slowly right. You gotta slowly
You tell anybody anything that they need to be doing,
and how they're living wrong.
Speaker 2: And what is the first thing they're gonna do? Shut
you up, shut you out. They don't want to hear it.
In my shoes. You know, I'm going exactly.
Speaker 1: You know, someone makes funny you're making deviled eggs and
all kinds, and you're trying to sell them. What a
piece of shit that person is?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: Do you, buddy? Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Do you? What's the under and over from memorial lyg
because I'm selling them again now I'm gonna do twelve
for twenty twenty for thirty.
Speaker 1: Devil ed eggs.
Speaker 2: I was saying four people.
Speaker 1: Well, why don't you, why don't you do well? You
should start hitting it now, put in the like daily things.
You should get on canva and make different things canva.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: See, this is what they would teach you in school
on the computer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm telling you right now.
Speaker 1: You go in there and you design like a flyer, and.
Speaker 5: You call it like dugs eggs or you know you
fresh doubled eggs, douggies take fresh eggs, dress deviled eggs, whatever,
and you make all these different things and then you
put it out there and all the different social media
platforms call now great, you know, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: You do it up with a red, white and blue
little tray.
Speaker 2: That's fourth of July Memorial Day.
Speaker 1: Memorial flags, right. I mean I always worry about Memorial Day,
like you know, four year picnic is one thing, but
I always worry about like Memorial Day sales and things
only because it's yes for people service, yes yeah, And
I always say, and let's remember those still serving, not
just about the ones who have served. It may not
be here, but the ones still serving.
Speaker 2: Oil Day is just for people that passed away.
Speaker 1: What about family?
Speaker 2: You have veterans Day, but we don't do much for
Veterans Day, and the weather's not as nice. Now this
is a big thing. Yeah, one day for Veterans Day,
one day for Memorial Day. But June thirty days is
gay pride. Well that's good for thirty days. One day
from veterans, one day for those who followed them. But June,
I told you there was a crusty outside. I'm just
bringing it up.
Speaker 1: I know it's fine.
Speaker 2: I have one day for Martin Luther King. I got
one day for Abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you that I wouldn't even know
that there was thirty days in June. Yeah, I didn't
even know if gay.
Speaker 2: Probably I I just what I'm watching the the comic Rells.
That seems to be one coming around. It seems to
be a universal joke all of a sudden that people
are jumping on It's thirty days for that. Probably Abraham Lincoln,
he freed the slaves. He gets one day. But if
you do this, you got the whole month. I mean
you probably a day at Red Wing Stadium and that
is always packed. Yeah, yes, I got nothing against that.
You don't get friends that are gay, lesbian. I don't
give a shit. I get to a certain certain age.
I mean back when we were young, that was a
big thing. Sure, I mean even to admit that it
was huge. Yeah, yeah, no, I understand.
Speaker 1: I just think that if you're gonna do the deviled eggs,
go find a kid that got to education and put
something together and do that and get.
Speaker 2: Them out there and get out. And now I've got
to get five steps ahead. Take five steps yes, food
coloring and make him into a rainbow for the LGBQ,
sell them all of June. There you go. Then I'll
be in for the thirty days. That's right, So why
don't you take advantage of it?
Speaker 1: We just thought about it.
Speaker 2: There, Rainbow eggs, rainbow eggs, rainbow dies will blow your mind.
Speaker 1: Ah, I can lick the competition.
Speaker 2: There you go, Doggie, We will take him over.
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Oh my goodness, gracious Billy, what's going on?
Speaker 1: You got the one, the only, the hemp shaking money
making tower power Man with the Hour twenty four seven,
Doug e Fresh Megan a.
Speaker 2: Happy Baby with blified Bill Moran. It's what you're all
wound up today. I'm not a little bit. You got
yourself all you read something that you got yourself all twisted.
Speaker 1: Not twisted, but I understand. Let me get you onto
something here. Here's something that's gonna bother you.
Speaker 2: I know this. You know what bother people that try
to talk about shit they don't understand. I'm gonna give
you a perfect example, and this is this is gonna
make you laugh. Do you remember the the the cartoon
why Ricky Ticky Tavvy? Sort of kind of? It was
one of my mother's favorites.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's it's older like you're my Yeah, so
wasn't it an Asian?
Speaker 2: It was Australian Australia Australian. And this girl at the
bar the other night was talking about Ricky Ticky Tavvy
and how it teaches you this and how you can't
turn on yourself and to be a better person. People
of Bary just that has absolutely nothing to do with
Ricky Ticky Tavvy because this girl thinks she knows fucking everything.
It was a cartoon about a mongoose in Australia that
befended a family and there was cobra's on the on
the lot and Ricky Ticky Tavvy ends up killing one
of the cobras. The cobra was going after the family,
Ricky Ticky grab one of the eggs, kind of trade off,
and then the cobra takes the the egg and goes
in in the hole and Ricky ticket goes after it.
And you gotta be careful of snake because the snake
knows when it can turn and so but Ricky, uh,
Ricky makes it out. Have you ever seen Ricky Ticky Dabby.
It was one of my mother's favorites. That's probably I
didn't get lippy with her. But I'm like, that has
nothing to do with it. So he's bouncing around with
his tail behind him, and I'm like, she's just like, yeah,
it does this and.
Speaker 1: This is what it's about. I'm just like, no, it doesn't.
Speaker 2: That's nothing, that has nothing. You could have been more wrong.
I'm like, no, Ricky Ticky Dabby and that's all I said.
Do you need a hug today? I got a hug
from you earlier. I'm fine on no, sure if I don't.
If I do, gonna write it down. You know, it's
funny because people, uh we did you ever make coupons
for your parents when you're younger? Yes, and you keep it,
you know, one one day free of noise, or my
coupon when you tell me to calm down if you
give me this. So somebody I was talking to you
the other day. They were going through boxes and they
found a couple. Yeah, I should hand this in and
I should.
Speaker 1: I should. Uh.
Speaker 2: They don't have expiration dates at them. No, those are
coupons that last forever. Yeah, lifetime, lifetime. Uh I'm seeing now.
With warm weather, I think it.
Speaker 1: Puts us at a uh.
Speaker 2: With sunshine, yes, it definitely brightens your day and makes
you more energetic.
Speaker 1: We're more active or more in a social mindset.
Speaker 2: But I think that.
Speaker 1: People say, sometimes it's a beautiful day, why is there
an accident?
Speaker 2: Why is there an accent?
Speaker 1: Yeah, why is there an accident on the road? Why
why all of a sudden, it's this road close and
I go because you got last minute social plans and
you're looking at your goddamn phone or that big screen
and they're a distraction.
Speaker 2: And I was thinking, I go, Doug has got to
see the home. I was going fifty five, got passed
by two cars fucking around. They were going eighty. Yeah,
and I can see them in my reary mirror. I'm like,
watch out, you know, because look at the you know,
look at these ansles. And I say that a few
times a week. That's also saying how people are uncourteous driving.
Speaker 1: Right, But I mean, do you see a lot of
usage of the phone, like people sneaking a peak even
at a traffic light, I'm honking the.
Speaker 2: Like turns green and they're not moving. I'm I'm laying
on the fucking horn because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shit, ju Joe, what about Uh do you ever
roll down the window and go put the phone down?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I don't say that.
Speaker 1: No, there's a limit to your frustration, because they say,
like five seconds of looking at your phone is the
equivalent of driving a football field blindfolded.
Speaker 2: The length of a football. Yeah, I've heard things like
fifty if you sneeze, you go one hundred yards. I
don't know those are really true, But yeah, it's it's
because now uber is you know, if I'm driving you
and a new ride comes up, it dings and it
shows where it is, so you have to take your
as much as they want safety. And then they even
ask is construction still there? Yes or no? So they
can rerout other drivers. Is there a speed trap there? Yes? Uh?
Speaker 1: So all these things are happening.
Speaker 2: Why all these things? I mean every three rides, I
would say, yeah, maybe depending on where you are. Some
days you're off the highway.
Speaker 1: You know, you're just taking kids.
Speaker 2: Back and forth from the school.
Speaker 1: But that is like you're that's sort of almost business like,
and I guess we can navigate that and cars are
built better and you stay on the road.
Speaker 2: But some of it is like I had an uber
driver watching a movie or I'm just like, what is that?
I'm like, should I really write this woman up? A changer?
I mean, you have to be pretty bad to get
up fired as an uber driver?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I knew one guy. I ran into
this person that used to I was ubering him and
he had so many people in his car the smell
like weed that he would smell like weed. The secondary
or contact. Yeah. Yeah, So we get somebody in smell
like weed, they leave, we'ed still in the car, You
get two, three people, they think of that you're smoking weed,
which you're not, all right, and then your fifth ride
smells like weed. Now this happened when I first started.
It seemed like every other person was smoking weed, and
now not so much. Maybe they're doing it home since
it's been legalized, legalized, well, they would have been doing it.
Speaker 1: Well, I think you're gonna I wonder if it'll start
as the warm weather comes out and you're allowed to
be outside smoking and it's not illegal, and people light
up a joint and then they call for the uber
and they get in. I wonder if there'll be an
increase in people smelling like weed now that the warm
weather's here.
Speaker 2: Interesting depending on where you go, maybe, yeah, where's.
Speaker 1: The most prevalent? Do you ever?
Speaker 2: Not fair part? I'm wondering, like, honestly, you ever pick
somebody up from Pittsford and.
Speaker 1: Be like God, And I think it can happen. I know,
but I mean it could happen. It could No, I don't, Yeah,
I don't remember the last person I really smelled like weed.
Speaker 2: Weed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, weed's gotta man it. It hangs, it hangs.
You go into a freaking certain Walmart parking lots. It's
like a grateful dead show. Yeah, it's like, God damn man,
Willie Nelson, where are you at? I should say this? Oh, yes,
you should.
Speaker 2: But you know the difference between oh jeez, maybe you
shouldn't say it. Go ahead, difference between marijuana and pussy.
If you can smell the marijuana from across the room,
it's really good. Get into that mic and laught dog,
What Doug?
Speaker 1: How dared you?
Speaker 2: I heard that the other day?
Speaker 1: How dare you?
Speaker 2: Certain jokes just pop into my head that I haven't.
I haven't told her a while.
Speaker 1: It's rare and risky to scold somebody for being on
the phone, like if they're on the phone driving. I've
seen people scream put down the phone other people.
Speaker 2: Somebody screamed to me years ago, some kids. Yet, well,
there used to be a bigger push like to the
phone down. Yeah, there used to be a bigger push
for that. And and and you have the hands free device.
Speaker 1: I mean you, well, it's hands free, just a sneakier
way of doing the same thing. I will say it
does make things easier.
Speaker 2: With the more the newer cars. Call Bill Moran, Yes,
I do. You're gonna be on your phone a little bit,
but I have a actually have a new one. It's free.
I always do punch up or if I just text you,
punch on your your name and it'll come up to call, right,
it's it's uh, it's all. Well that does, but I
just go.
Speaker 1: Is it a little sneakier?
Speaker 2: We all the sort of at risk I'm just saying
it is the weather gets more and.
Speaker 1: More people are out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you're all at risk.
Speaker 1: Look out you know, if you're at it, Yes, and
you almost can't not be on it in certain aspects
like you know, uber driving or looking getting directions even
for your GPS. Yeah, getting directions you that's kind.
Speaker 2: Of a cap out. But I mean you're talking to
somebody and there's well they have the if I text
you or call you, the automatic reply i'm driving, I'll
call I'll call you. Yes.
Speaker 1: Well, so it used to I felt like there used
to be this big thing. I think like Oprah had
a pledge that people were signing put and people were
putting their phones in the trunk of their car so
they wouldn't be distracted by it. And I think that
all lasted for like a day, you know, forty eight
hours fast, you know, and so right because she's probably
not driving herself, you know what I mean. And so
I'm like, all this stuff it was had good intentions.
Look right here in Fairport there was a great tragedy
involving in texting and five girls from the high school.
Oh yeah, no, this was probably gosh now, I don't know,
maybe fifteen twenty years ago, Ok, yeah, but they were
all had just graduated, going down to the lake to celebrate,
texting friends as to hey, when do you get in here?
Blah bah blah, went out, I think to pass somebody
and boom.
Speaker 2: Right now, I think I remember that. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was terrible, just awful. And you go, man, and
these things that are while rare and risky, it's uh.
Speaker 2: It does happen. But with the summer, you're gonna want
to go out. I want to golf, drinking outside, yeah,
working on your yard. What else do you do outside?
Speaker 1: What do you do outside?
Speaker 2: Everything? Everything? Swimming, barb barbecuing. Yeah, what do you do
when you barbecue? Make double legs?
Speaker 1: What makes barbecue?
Speaker 2: Well? For the steak that I'm looking Okay, that's great.
You can't just have steak, you know, tuna, make sailed
or potatoes sale and of course double.
Speaker 1: Leggs and beer while you're What I'm saying is beer.
Oh got it.
Speaker 2: We gotta get we gotta get wasted. One of these days,
we gotta we need. I can't do it anymore, you can't.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be.
Speaker 2: I don't when your son the hangovers like no hangovers?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? No hangover was dirty martinis?
Speaker 2: Yes, Jesus Christ, intake take care of your head and medically.
Speaker 1: Sound, medically sound.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm gonna take that from a guy on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Do I look like I look like?
Speaker 2: What? Well? Look at me?
Speaker 1: Hey, the salt didn't take?
Speaker 2: Your son's going to visit the mother sooner or later. Yes,
And when that happens, yeah, we'll plan it. We won't
tell anybody. I won't put pictures on you like Kevin does.
Speaker 1: Kevin always any time I fall asleep at his house,
I know that's funny.
Speaker 2: It is funny.
Speaker 1: It's sort of funny. I've been so stressed and yes,
I just uh that I've been I fell asleep.
Speaker 2: I just it's like, I don't know, nothing better than
a nap. Sometimes right, Sometimes it's share that massaged you.
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? Massage? Yeah, I was rolling,
I got your billy.
Speaker 2: Yeah I.
Speaker 1: Don't know, Yes, yeah I would.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's something about now, like right now I was telling
you that I've got things I need to do that
I'm starting to realize that you'll run out of time.
If you don't take action on the ideas you have,
you'll run out of time. And by that I mean
you will die, and not today tomorrow, but at some
point and and what do you want to remember by
And you think of like all the people that have
done something, And I go, I got to get my
motor tuned up. Because I have not had my motor
tuned up. I've been letting things bother me, overwhelm me
feel like this and instead of well, switch if it happens,
you get a fight through that. Yes, I just meant,
but I don't. There are times I don't.
Speaker 2: And that I made a list for this week.
Speaker 1: Was on near to list. Uh, why is this so funny?
Buy your deviled egg ingredients, put your little canva posted together.
Speaker 2: You should do this By the way, I have a
whole month printed out each day. What I'm doing Tuesday
and meeting somebody for a sponsorship right after, I'm going
to lunch with my printers. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I was wondering what was going on with you?
Speaker 2: Uber? Wednesday night AMers game?
Speaker 1: Remember that?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: A big big deal. That's a big deal.
Speaker 2: It's a big deal. That is a big deal.
Speaker 1: They're in the playoffs Monday tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Here's okay, yeah, here's a question. I can give you.
Ready for this one? I can't wait. A longtime friend
of mine. It's a woman, Yeah, turning forty Tomorrow's a birthday. Okay, okay, Yeah,
her husband is dying doing nothing. How do you know?
Because I know? Did he tell you? She told me?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, but she doesn't know. He may be surprising her.
Speaker 2: What is she want? Well, you know, what do you
want for your birthday? Just you know what? Just just
come see me at work. She works in the hospitality.
I don't want to say where. Give you away? Yeah?
But uh so I went on Facebook and went to
her photos and downloaded twenty five twenty six of them.
I've known this girl for thirty eight years. Went to
dollar store put him on just a poster board of
the pictures and bought two balloons and I'll take him
in there tomorrow and saying happy birthday. That'll be that.
Speaker 1: Now is they crossing the line? I don't know what
I've been friends with it. I don't know.
Speaker 2: This guy isn't doing dick.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: And you know what if it wasn't. I know her
whole family and whenever somebody turns a certain number, they're
having a party. So it's not if he was going
to do something, it would have been last night, or
he would have reached that if what if.
Speaker 1: He was being a little more intelligent and goes, she's
expecting it last night, We're doing it next week.
Speaker 2: Okay, well next time I will let me know if.
Speaker 1: He does, because I'm curious. Is that crossing the line.
It's a it's I don't know, it's.
Speaker 2: A gray area for maybe all it says this happy birthday,
bubba bout what? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, but you've known her since she was two? Yeah, okay, three, no, no, whatever,
I'm just fine, but.
Speaker 2: Come in and see me. I'm like, you know what,
I'm just gonna do this little special thing. Sure, but
the weird part is like, because you're there's a weird
Doug's like a brother. But if Doug is like you know,
I think there's.
Speaker 1: Room to move in.
Speaker 2: Look at I've known you? Why always?
Speaker 1: Because it does with everybody.
Speaker 2: It's not everybody, it's just you.
Speaker 1: No, I'm saying with everybody thinks that way, wouldn't he?
I mean, why would a guy get upset if somebody
gave his wife a birthday gift like that because he
thinks there's more going on?
Speaker 2: Some people might. I was just asking your opinion, That's
what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I would probably have to. I
would never want to interfere with uh, long term relationships, yeah,
long long standing friendships like that.
Speaker 2: And he's in one of the pictures. I didn't just
put her. Yeah he's in one.
Speaker 1: He's in one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mainly her and her kids. It's her life of
forty years, all right, her parents. I'm in one down
in the corner. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it is weird, right because when you hear that
somebody's not doing something for somebody's birthday, oh yeah, and
you start to go, man, what if that was my
significant other?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Don't tell me you haven't thought that if that were No, no, no,
but what would you do.
Speaker 2: I've got all these great ideas saved up for when
I do have a significant other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's never gonna happen.
Speaker 2: So I go to waste.
Speaker 1: And that's just what I'm saying. You don't die with
those ideas. Get fined somebody. You're not actively looking, because.
Speaker 2: I am actively looking. You fucking don't look.
Speaker 1: You don't care. You are so set in your old
man ways. Now you are locked in, you're ready to go.
Speaker 2: This is it. You're worried, so you just send me
doomed from now till the day I die. I'm not
because this is what you like, and it's what you know. Well,
you found a seventy eight year old man on his
kitchen floor. Let's be honest. There's a broke, broken Jenny
Lay bottle and apparently he was going for the deviled
eggs and free place. No, I'm not saying you're doomed.
I'm just saying like you are.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think you really look I do.
I don't think people annoy you. I think that you
like your alone time. You've gotten used to it. I
think you've got friends with benefits that once in a
while takes care of an itch, and on you go.
I think that's your life. I think that's how you live.
I think every once in a while your itch getting
scratched and you don't have to put up with the bullshit.
And I understand, believe me, I get it. You don't
want the all the bs that goes with it. It
would be nice to have to plan somebody's fortieth, fifty
sixtieth birthday party, but you know what, fu who cares?
It's not your problem And that's the greatest thing you
could think in your mind. Hey, if she were mine,
it would be awesome what I would do, all the
great things I would do.
Speaker 2: But she's not yours, and they can go Dad, that's perfect.
Save my money, save my money exactly. Well, there's nothing
wrong with making somebody feel nice. No, And I think
there's less of that in the world. That's why he
was doing this. I'm like, you know what, he had
his chance, he could do it. Maybe he is doing
something nothing wrong for me. I be a friend and no,
don't do that too. People like to something special.
Speaker 1: Well, here's the weird part is I think, like if
a woman did it, We wouldn't think twice right, right?
Speaker 2: Well, girlfriend, guy doesn't it to.
Speaker 1: A married woman?
Speaker 2: Wait till June? There we go, he's celebrating every day. Yeah,
I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It would be a little It would
make me. I would notice that if I were married
and be like, but if I knew you and you
had been around and you're like, hey, this is a
lifelong friend of the family, you know, I would just
go And then I'd look at you and go, he's
just sad. I mean, you know, I'm just kidd here. Yes,
but I do think that I will say on.
Speaker 2: The data, I got one of those containers, the double edggs.
I'm gonna put birthday candles in all twelve and then
I don't do this. No, is that that's crossing the line?
Speaker 1: Wait, because then you're spitting on the eggs. You work
so hard for those fucking eggs. She blows out the candles,
big hot to right there on it falling out. Now,
I don't think you really get on the dating apps
and really work it.
Speaker 2: I keep them for maybe three months and then delete them. No,
that's kind of get depressed.
Speaker 1: Because you're not really doing anything. On there though, But
you're you know what, someone here There's got to be
a consultant on how to navigate the day. There has
to be there, definitely has to be, or a matchmaker
of some kind. I think that that you know, or
just strike up a conversation. You got a great personality,
you know. I mean, that's what we say about fat
ugly chicks, but he personality.
Speaker 2: I'm going in a new dating site, yeah, called Carrier
Pigeon dot com.
Speaker 1: I hope it gets back before your sixty third birthday. Right,
all right, Well, take a moment. I gotta bring up
this Flora dust story only because you mentioned something that
happened in your uber ride this week that and I
do wonder are we seeing more of this than ever before?
Speaker 2: We'll get to it next.
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Bob Singer from Duverly Hills Comp.
Speaker 2: You got it two, Yeah, Beverly Hills cop too. Bob
Seer Turnadi the other day, Sunning, you know that was
waiting for.
Speaker 1: I'm sad that he retired so many years ago. I
think I'd love to see.
Speaker 2: Only years something. Health was it health? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know his health.
Speaker 2: Yeah. David Lee Roth is gonna be a turning stone.
Oh my god. When next couple of months, my friend
told me that he was down to his last six
gigs ever, and they're all gonna be in Vegas. It
was just like a couple of years. Yeah, I think
he did say that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now he's still doing his He's just a
front man, so what's he gonna do. It was health too,
they said, his heart. Your heart can only take so much. Man,
you're jumping around everything. So if he dies at turning Stone,
might want to get tickets to that show.
Speaker 2: I saw some of his clips. I think he's died
already to be asked with you. Teeth are all fucked up. Really, yeah,
doesn't look good.
Speaker 1: He does artwork too, now, yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I can't say anything art is in the
I had the beholder.
Speaker 1: So yeah, finger painting or sponge painting or whatever you
do SpongeBob painting.
Speaker 2: I throw double eggs at canvas. You do you do
the sponge I do do yeah, mm hmm. Once you
sell those, I've tried.
Speaker 1: They were my earlier works, and somebody broke in and
left two more.
Speaker 2: It was hey, it's got collection, jewelry store store. They
were gonna buy it. They put them up with a
jewelry on that Yeah. Oh and then you know, I
me know if anybody was interested. A couple of people
were interested. They didn't know what to charge, like take
whatever you make your offer, and I think they got
thrown out. But they were earlier works. There was really
happy with them either. I wanted to get rid of them.
If anything. Okay, yea, as they did too. This is amazing. Yes,
you know what I love is that you do it.
Speaker 1: That you do do it, yeah, right, because I can
make fun of it, but I'm not doing ship. I'm
not doing any of that right, So you know, who
the fuck am I to say anything? That's right?
Speaker 2: That's your show. Yeah, I did do that. I like
what you've done with this past three years.
Speaker 1: I'm getting here's a real Florida headlines. Okay. A domestic
fight in Port Saint Lucy turned extra spicy when a
woman allegedly shoved cheesy nachos down her wife's pants yes
they'll be celebrating in June Doug and then physically assaulted
her so. According to the police, the argument started when
Alison Swan criticized her wife for a late night snacking
and weight gain. This escalated, and Swan allegedly pulling her
wife to the ground by the hair, forcing her fingers
into her mouth and slamming sorry, and slamming her head
on the floor. When officers arrive, the victim had not
Your Cheese on her pants and showed them a hole
in the wall from the altercation. The other lady denied
it and says she was just drunk and rolled around
in the nachos and did all this stuff itself. Have
you seen heated moments like this that that would have
almost a WWE style in the strip club when you
were a strip club DJ? No, no what because you
did the movie The Night of the Cat. You did
spend some time in the Cat. I don't know, because
I would think that strip club fights between women would
be more emotional than physical.
Speaker 2: I mean they're grabbing each other's hair. I mean you
see videos even in Rochester. Yes, the famous one is
hold my wig? Have you seen that on lysle Avenue
by the Dollar General and the girls are gonna go
at it. She goes hold my wig and she's walking down. Yeah,
I want that on a T shirt. Okay, yes, Bill
a fight the Bill Miranchol. Is there something extra insulting
about being hit with food?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like well, the old throwing
a drink and stuffing. Oh god, I have done that
and I've had that done to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, being spit on, I think is Oh I think
that's the worst.
Speaker 1: That's vile.
Speaker 2: If somebody did that to me, it'd be on. Yeah,
slapped in the face. Yeah, that's my top two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this it sounds like for plate gun. Wrong with
these ladies shoving the nachos down our pants?
Speaker 2: Down our pants? Yeah, she knocked out. I mean she
put her head in the wall and you're putting your
fingers in her mouth, just slamming her down. So is
she really big and her girlfriends really smile?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: They don't show her. They showed Oh actually they did.
The mug shot.
Speaker 1: No, little blonde actually attractive. You know, even considering a
mug shot a little rough around the edges, I'd say, well,
a little rough.
Speaker 2: But you don't know if maybe you should go to
the other side. Nothing bad back on the home team
swinging baby. See, women can do that. I don't know
if guys can come back. No, do you understand what
I'm saying? Like, yes, I do. That's why I'm laughing.
We've had we've had straight, straight again they call them bisexual.
Speaker 1: Okay, but and there's probably people who are attracted to
just another human being, what what, no matter of the sex.
But it's weird because I go, you know, you can't
be a little bit gay.
Speaker 2: You can't be.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't think so. I think
you're all in or you're not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it can't be a little bit pregnant. No, no,
but I mean, but I don't know if that's true,
because you you hear stories about people experimenting in cottage.
You know, they get drunk at a party, they try this,
they try that.
Speaker 1: That's more for well, I mean women. Yeah, we hear
that about women. The guys that experiment. They ain't fucking
telling me no, no, no, hey, you listen once to
Darren and I got really close you know, right, No, No,
it would be weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never heard anything like that.
Speaker 1: No, of course you haven't. But you've heard about the women.
And it's a turn on a women's world. It's a
turn it's a turn on when when you hear that, is.
Speaker 2: It not for men and women a little bit?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, because men sexually Yeah yeah, if you're lesbian, you're like, oh,
I had another one on our team. Right, it's like
picking out dodgeball. I'll take Sally and Cindy and and some.
Speaker 1: Some people may just be caught up in the moment.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Attracted to this person, but they were there and things
got going, and that would be that, you know. Yeah,
I mean I heard a story Oh boy, no, I'm
not are episode no, no, previous episode right here in
the bill FID studio about if someone saying a friend
and her boyfriend at the time or a guy at
the time had made plans to include the friend and
she found out about it was really turned on but
not gay. But hey, hey, hey, hey, he I mean,
it's who cares what people do in the bedroom. I
don't give a shit, right, just be nice to each other.
Everybody's got enough problems.
Speaker 2: Well, a friend of mine told me last week that
he's got a co worker sixty seven sixty. Yeah, he
goes to swinger parties. I'm like, they're out there, he goes.
You ever heard of them? I'm like, well, I see
on the net and everything. But yeah, the dark web,
as you call it, the Rochester kink. Yeah, but that's
not called dark web, dark dark web, but there are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are swinger yes parties. Yes, I think you
have to if you go into the swinger party, like,
you have to have good looking people there.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be I think those people are
just fine with themselves. They're more comfortable with themselves than
the average person walking around. They're not all barbies and kens.
They just happened like sex and they're comfortable. They're talking
good conversation. And I think you have to fill out
on the application. You have to be met first, ye
for your for the Kink Society for swinger parties as well?
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, well I didn't know this. Yes, I
want to get a swinger in here. I want to
find out like the details of this. There's a swinger
out there. No, I give us a call at five
eighty five, six eighty eight sixty six.
Speaker 2: But you say that too fast and they got to
rewind it.
Speaker 1: No scrolls on the screen two six eighty eight sixty six.
Speaker 2: When I'm listening at my package six X, he's having
a stroke. I think that, Oh that reminds me of
a joke. Yeah, you know my masturbation and brink damnage
have a cammon stroke after three or four strokes. There's
no turning back if you make it that far.
Speaker 1: The Uh yeah, I don't. I'm trying to think of
swinger stuff. I used to have a swinger who would
call in when I was on the radio. But she
was a single woman, a mom, single mom, and she
would go and be the unicorn at these events. And
she was trying to persuade me jokingly.
Speaker 2: To be the bull. So what's the unicorn, everybody.
Speaker 1: No, unicorn is a woman.
Speaker 2: This is fucking fourth grade.
Speaker 1: No, the unicorn is the woman that comes to the
swinger party alone. So she doesn't she has and she
doesn't come with a partner.
Speaker 2: I don't think guys are allowed to come along.
Speaker 1: Well they are. They're called the bull. But you're right,
it's rare that that's rare because you know.
Speaker 2: Gets you set of horns, right, all right, ladies. So
my buddies used to go after that. I was on
the radular, like Billy the Bull. But so this woman
would go, but she had a regular weekly date with
another couple. And it's like, come to think of it,
like it's on her San Francis and La Francesca. Yea.
And she would be paid by couples. Sure, to come in. Yeah,
and that's where she got her money. And I remember,
now I think about it. She would all she wanted
to do was drink. She was a big drinker. So
she would dance on stage and whenever anybody tipped her
on the stage, she grab it. She come to the
DJ booth and throw it over for the DJ every set. Yeah,
so you get four or five sets, she's already tipping you,
you know, forty fifty eight dollars sometimes of night. But
I I do remember her, remember her.
Speaker 1: She was a swinger.
Speaker 2: She was paid, oh, paid by other couples. Oh, she
was wild. She had her own stuff going out. But she's.
Speaker 3: Know.
Speaker 1: I was going to say an auto poor nore Ah.
But it's these the swingers. But here's the things like
you look at your calendar and you go, oh, it's Thursday. God,
Bob's gonna stick into my ass again? You know what
need Like?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying that aspect?
Speaker 1: I'm just not in the mood for that today, right,
I don't know how Like, don't you have to go
over if it's a scheduled thing. It's sometimes these things
are spontaneous, yes, And I get it. You want to
have regular dates and maybe you get together and you
just that. I don't know how it works. I don't
think my mind would be good at this. I would
not be good at this. I would get all freaked out.
I would fake analergy.
Speaker 2: And wou used to go to a parties Christmas parties, yes,
and birthday parties and the kids would be in the
other room, and you might have a couple too much
to drink, and you know, Linda from down the street.
You know, no, I really like that, shreet. I no,
nothing like that. You never got hit on at a party,
not even a little flirted with my neighbors. Appropriate okay,
appropriate jo. No, I've had you know, I think they
happen more parties, at least with me that I joke
that way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had women at parties. When I was married,
I had a woman put her hand on my chest
and did it a couple of times until one of
her friends is like, it doesn't look good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't look good your chest in your crank.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I mean you know, it was like it's
not but no most of the time, no, h but
I am I always I'm curious myself about just the
psychological aspect of the swinger lifestyle. I I can't wrap
my head around.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like going to a movie. You went in,
you had a good couple of hours, you come out,
life is back on track. It's like that. It really is.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But see, I would overthink it, right, I'd be worried.
Speaker 1: Did I perform right?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: That guy was bigger? What's this?
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 1: You can't help it.
Speaker 2: Dog's right there, you know, it's right there.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's there.
Speaker 2: It's like beating in the shower at the fucking gym.
I can't help it, see it? You shower the gym? Yeah,
I know why. I don't anybody look at my dick.
I love when my kid goes through and goes ju
old man bulls, They're all right, it's a gym. It's
what seems to grow up. Yeah, I have a little maturity.
Speaker 1: But that's no fun either. That's no fun, all right, Douggie,
Well we'll we'll close it out here. But the fun
episode exploring the outer crust of Doug to get to
the new giddy center.
Speaker 2: That's my favorite.
Speaker 1: There is a center like that, a birthday story.
Speaker 2: There you go, Greese's Cup, the chocolate down the outside,
peanut butter on the inside. Right.
Speaker 1: And I hope you have a wonderful day today. And
I appreciate you coming in.
Speaker 2: Here, absolutely bringing in having fun.
Speaker 1: For Dougie. Fresh in the house, baby, Bill Moran, we'll
see you tomorrow.
Speaker 2: I hold you. I didn't know what to do. I'm
turning on TV.