Speaker 1: Good morning from hell. It's good for Clayton here with Chris.
Speaker 2: Chris, say hello, Hello, I'm dead.
Speaker 1: Say it less creepy. Do it to another. Take less creepy,
don't go hello. No one wants to hear that in
their ear.
Speaker 2: Hello I'm dead with meaning Hello, I'm dead.
Speaker 3: I've been dead for about a year and a half now,
and I'm forced to do this podcast where we interview
everyone in the afterlife and it's my eternal torture And yeah.
Speaker 1: That's right, and I'm the brother of Satan.
Speaker 4: My name is Clayton.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris, you say you've been do this for about
a year and a half now, But I mean, what's
it like You get up in the morning, you know,
you brush your teeth with some fresh hot magma, and
then you drink your cup of diarrhea while you stare
out at the Lake of Fire and you're just kind
of thinking about the data come like, what's going through
your mind at this point, you know, because this is
your life now forever.
Speaker 3: Well besides, you know, there's a lot of bullets flying
just so a lot of bullets go.
Speaker 1: Through my mind or not in America Chris, Hell, yeah.
Speaker 3: But there's still the only difference is the bullets in
Hell don't come from guns.
Speaker 1: They just like they just like are like birds.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's the biggest, biggest I mean,
there are some guns that add bullets, but most of
the you know, most of it's just like you know,
free roaming bullets in Hell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's like one of those things you know, whenever you
wake up in the morning, you have your cup of
diarrhea and you think about like how the day is
gonna go, and you think about things that you may
or may not be looking forward to. Imagine that, but
there's nothing to look forward to. It's kind of like that.
That's what Hell's like.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, speaking of those bullets sor right, Sorry
about that, all right, sorry, flock of bullets. So we
got a guest on today, Yes, believe Chris, Yeah, take
it away.
Speaker 2: You booked them, right, I thought you booked them.
Speaker 1: Let me check the papers. Know, Wait who booked it?
I thought we have a guest. I know it's confirmed
on the invite, the on the.
Speaker 2: Thing it's it's rat Man.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Well I didn't book it. Did we hire somebody new?
I don't understand. How did this happen, you know Ratman,
Pat pat Man or Batman. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm a super or some sort. That's that's what I thought.
Speaker 1: I we had to.
Speaker 4: Come in. Hello, Hello, Hello, it's Ratman.
Speaker 1: How are you good?
Speaker 4: Good? Good?
Speaker 2: Hey, hey good great to have you on.
Speaker 1: Been waiting for you. Very exciting to be here in.
Speaker 2: Hell my first time. Yes, excitements fun for rat Man.
Speaker 1: You and I rat rat Man. We go away back. Yeah, Chris,
I don't think you've met Chris. Can you tell Chris
who you are?
Speaker 5: Well, Chris, I'm a rat Man and I'm very excited
for Clayton to tell you now about my podcast.
Speaker 2: Good Morning rat Man. I assume you're a very.
Speaker 5: Big fan, and is why I'm here to talk about
my podcast.
Speaker 1: Yes, they good day, Good morning.
Speaker 5: Rat Morning, rat Man me the titula Ratman.
Speaker 1: That's right. It's one of my favorite audio shows. It
has it has rat Man.
Speaker 2: Every day, it has rat Man, and.
Speaker 1: It comes out sometimes in the morning.
Speaker 5: It comes out mostly in the morning when the spaghetti
male Man takes my order in time. That is the
life of rat Man. Things are crazy around.
Speaker 6: Me, amiable now on all podcasts.
Speaker 5: Oh beautiful, I brought my producer and my producer. Listen,
my producer is doing an excellent job. My producer coming
in producing. You guys have one of those. You have
a producer for this show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris, I mean he's kind of our producer.
Speaker 3: He's yeah, yeah, I mean that's part of the eternal punishment,
you know, producing podcast, which is I.
Speaker 1: Don't know, I don't wait.
Speaker 6: Good Morning rat Man. Take one, fantastic, Good morning rat Man.
Speaker 2: It is rat Man, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Here to give you the good news. We're recording our podcast.
Are you also recording your podcast?
Speaker 6: Angela Good Morning rat Man podcast producer here? Excuse me,
you're interrupting this recording of good rat Man.
Speaker 2: Thank you very see.
Speaker 5: That's why I bring in my producer to do the
heavy lifting. Agela and again and again and again. I'm
endlessly I'm endlessly positive. I can't wait to bring you
to good news. So it's kind of my heavy here.
So let's do a take two and we'll just take
it from the top, but not the very top, just
the beginning speeding.
Speaker 6: Take two. Good morning rat Man.
Speaker 5: Good, good morning rat Man. It's me rat Man, and
I'm here to bring you the good news. I'm here
with my friends Clayton and Chris, and they are from
Where are you from?
Speaker 1: It's a hell? Where we are Hell? Right now, we're
from Hell. Yeah, good morning from Hell. I'm Clayton, your
host of this show, and I'm Chris.
Speaker 2: It's good morning rat Man.
Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. Hey, good morning from Hell. We're
here with rat Man on our show. This is Chris,
my co host of this show. Yeah, welcome, We're welcome
rat Man and Angela Bandela Angela.
Speaker 2: Can you do something about this? One's a little bit, ah,
a little off a little Is it confusing for you?
Because it's confusing, I'm.
Speaker 6: Gonna have to ask everyone to pause here and go
back to one.
Speaker 5: Okay, wait very much again again, we're not gonna take it.
We're gonna say take it from the top, but not
the very very time.
Speaker 1: It's just Sanjo really quick in rat Man. How about
we do half of the podcast is good Morning from
Hell and the other half is good morning Ratman.
Speaker 2: You know it's good morning rat Man. But you're close enough.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I say it's maybe seventy five percent good Morning
rat Man and then good Morning from Hell. Could also
be it could be a vehicle within the rat Man universe.
How does that sound to you? You're on our show.
Speaker 1: This is our time to set our studio on the
same thing. Coffee mug.
Speaker 3: You drinking out of that coffee it says, that's my diarrhea.
Speaker 6: Angela podcast producer. Good morning, Ratman. I'm going to have
to step in here, Ratman. He doesn't have much time
in his schedule today to fill the podcast in here.
Who sent the two of you? Who's your contact?
Speaker 1: Again? Got to point out we're in our studio. You're
drinking out of coffee mugs. It's say good morning from hell.
Speaker 2: It's certain a field you Brian's people nowhere?
Speaker 4: Who?
Speaker 1: Who this is?
Speaker 6: Ratman's very busy. He has many visitors that come to
see him in his home during his podcast recording.
Speaker 5: I have to get this done before the spaghetti mailman comes,
and then I hand it off to him. He takes
it to the studio. We put it out to the Internet.
I don't know if you've heard the Internet. Very fun place.
Oh another gat Hey, come on in, Good morning rat Man.
Speaker 1: Who do we have? Who's here?
Speaker 4: Spaghetty mail man? Mail Man?
Speaker 1: What is happening? This spaghetti male?
Speaker 5: Many bulls classic look Listen Clayton.
Speaker 2: Chris, I'm so excited to have you here. A Good
Morning rat Man. The Spaghetti mail Man is here to.
Speaker 5: Collect the episode of Good Morning rat Man where I
read the good news for the people, a very fun
daily podcast that I do. Good Morning rat Man. So
we're gonna have to make this quick. One more time
to get from the top so we can get this done.
Speaker 2: We have a spaghetti mail Man.
Speaker 1: How many times have we introduced? Yeah, Chris, can I
I'm gonna word with you, Chris, real rat Ratman and
Spaghetti Mailman. Spaghetti mail Man.
Speaker 3: That's right, righty, Chris, I'm here all right. So no, no, no, no,
spaghetti man. This is between us two, not you're right,
spaghetti mail Man.
Speaker 1: This is our heart. You gotta go over there.
Speaker 4: Bring you want me to whip a bull a bull
something up?
Speaker 1: Yeah, go to the kitchen, whip a ba bull. It's
our kitchen. You can help yourself. Just give us a moment,
of course. I don't I want to leave, but this
is our studio. What if the fuck is happening? I
did you hoo? I didn't book the rat Man.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: They just showed up. I think we need to call
the cops.
Speaker 4: Hey, speedy mail man here.
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, I couldn't help put eavesdrop on the two
of you as I'm making my facility.
Speaker 1: It's true, that's what he does.
Speaker 2: He comes through and he will listen to what you
have to say.
Speaker 4: I come through, Spaghetti mail Man here to hear everyone's problems.
Speaker 1: It sounds like the two you have a problem.
Speaker 6: Usually I listened to Rob Man's problems, but it sounds
like the two you have a problem.
Speaker 4: What's the problem to do?
Speaker 1: Y'all?
Speaker 2: What's the problem today?
Speaker 3: All are the problem? No, yeah, they're the problem. What
you bratman? Spaghetti Mailman?
Speaker 2: Aangela, Angela, Angela, it's Bangela.
Speaker 5: You know that now you're being You're a little bit
negative right now. We need to bring the positivity back up,
and I think the best way to do that is
to take it from the top one more time.
Speaker 2: Angela, I know the spaghetti male man.
Speaker 4: You get a hole of vasilli, you get a bowl
of vasilli.
Speaker 1: Oh the playton, How are you getting all this pasta? Well,
here's the spaghetti mail Man.
Speaker 2: So, I mean kind of the name tells it all.
I mean, really it makes sense.
Speaker 3: Wait, does this spaghetti mailman deliver spaghetti or good news.
Speaker 5: He brings spaghetti to your home, but also picks up
your podcasts to take to the production studio, so that
way somebody puts it out on the internet.
Speaker 1: Okay, what is there not to follow pulling it back together.
Let's just we're gonna, Chris, We're gonna just do this.
We're gonna do this. How long are your episodes typically?
How long do they typically last? What's our time commitment here?
Speaker 4: Well, it depends.
Speaker 5: Let me talk now, you asked me a question. Now
you need to let you need to let me the
host take this over. So I would say that episodes
of a Good Morning Ratman my hit podcast with three downloads.
Speaker 1: First, I'm hearing.
Speaker 6: It winner of four Lunchtime Emmys.
Speaker 5: That's what I'm talking about. When you hit the numbers
that we are hitting. Good Morning rat Man is all
about bringing the good news to the people. They last
anywhere from five minutes to five and a half hours,
depending on the amount of news and excitement the Ratman has.
So you're not like a super villain a suit No
a super villain, no Banjolin, a super villain. Can you
believe this question? These guests, these guys are crazy.
Speaker 6: He's just a fellow that loves a big bull of rigatoni.
Speaker 4: Ratman, here you go. Here's your bull of rigatoni.
Speaker 1: Top with the spaghetti. There's so much food. We can't
finish all this food. Spaghetti mailman, you rat man, you
got an episode ready for me, You just put it
in my ball.
Speaker 5: No spaghetti, mailman, You're never gonna believe this. We're here,
we're in our studio when we're trying to record this podcast,
Chris studio. But Clayton and Chris they're having a tough
time keeping up with what a podcast is and how
it works. So Banjola, if we could take it from
the top one more time. My god, I'm sure this
next one will be really good.
Speaker 1: Hey, Craton, Chris.
Speaker 5: If you can just hang out for just a second
and we'll get it started. Banjela, if you could count
us in Jesus give us some damn good news. Yeah, well,
I'm trying to do. But we are trying to get
the episode started. We have an intro.
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go, say it.
Speaker 2: Go ahead us some good news or do a crime crime.
Speaker 6: Before we can continue. I'm going to need our guests
to sign an NDA and A nine A non.
Speaker 1: It's don't worry about it.
Speaker 5: The what you're signing is very standard, is normal stuff.
It's just saying that you won't disclose what you talked
about on this podcast, and that your podcast is now
my podcast, and your viewers and listeners become mine, and
it's not.
Speaker 4: A big deal.
Speaker 2: It's just regular podcast.
Speaker 1: Stuck. What if we don't sign that, because that sounds
like not a great deal.
Speaker 5: Then we're gonna do the episode and I have many
lawyers who will talk to you afterwards and there will
be money.
Speaker 2: So good news, rat Man, you're rich after this one.
Speaker 1: Good luck suing. Hell just Chris, just just sign the
paper so this won't hold up in the court. Just
just do it all right, here you go, oh thank you.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I feel like it would hold up less
if we didn't sign the paper. I'm just gonna I'll sign,
but I'm just pointing out that I think.
Speaker 1: Our clar just just go okay. At this point, it
is a hostage situation.
Speaker 2: We are fantastic, We're stuck here.
Speaker 1: Just do the thing, all right, fantastic. So Angela take
it from the top.
Speaker 6: Back to one. Good morning, rat Man, Take four rat
Man Ready.
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely, let's go.
Speaker 6: Guests ready, Yeah, why are you sleating?
Speaker 1: Because this is an audio podcast? Do you care?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: That's say yes.
Speaker 5: If I've ever heard one action, Good Morning rat Man.
It's me rat Man the digitala rat Man bringing you
my podcast Good Morning rat Man, where I bring you
all the good news now, ladies and gentlemen. As you know,
this podcast is released two sometimes three times a day,
depending what own the Spaghetti Mailman comes through my house.
Speaker 1: But in this one it's a little different.
Speaker 5: Usually it's just a rat Man with Bangelo, but today
we have special guests from Ratman Studios.
Speaker 2: It's Clayton and it's Chris our studio, and.
Speaker 5: They are very unique individuals who are excited to hear
the good news.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hello, thanks for having us, Thanks for having us.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, we could do for some better energy,
but I like it. I like what we have so far.
Speaker 5: Now let's get into the good news so we can
get the Spaghetti Mailman and his delivery for today. Today
the good news is snacks. The kitten was rescued from
a tree. Can you but that's great?
Speaker 1: Kitten was rescued from the tree. Where was this kitten?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: This is the good news, Chris. That's Snacks the kittens.
It's a character in the show Does It podcast?
Speaker 5: Oh, what are you talking about? It's a cat that
was rescued from a tree. You guys have to keep up.
Speaker 6: Beloved neighborhood cat Snacks found himself marooned in a tree.
Speaker 5: See, and that is that is the good news for today. Unfortunately,
on the on the other side, the tree did not
make it. So you know not hey, You know, every
every gloomy cloud has its silver lining, and it is
Snacks has returned home.
Speaker 2: So thank you, does it? Let me let me finish, Christopher.
Speaker 1: Someone else is at the door.
Speaker 2: Whoa fatat just in time? Good morning grat man.
Speaker 3: My god, what whippers snippers doing?
Speaker 1: Are you? Okay? What cheese Grandpa? It's cheese, Grandpa?
Speaker 2: What my grandfather?
Speaker 1: Cheess Grandpa?
Speaker 5: Oh, cheese Grandpa. A lovable scamp in the Ratman universe.
This is Clayton, my red friend, and Christopher he's my
dead friend. They are here because they're big fans of
Good morning rat Man. Cheese Grandpa. Remember when I told
you that I had three listens. Now here's two of them.
Here's two of them.
Speaker 1: Two big fans right here.
Speaker 4: That one look at me.
Speaker 1: She's grandpa. I'm confused. What are you like? Describe what
I'm looking at here? She's grandpa. Please describe yourself.
Speaker 4: Love it, old man. Respect you elders. What's your friend
looking at me like?
Speaker 1: This?
Speaker 5: Is it constant disrespect from my two friends here? But
you know what again, ratman is an endless source of positivity.
Speaker 2: Chris, say hello to cheese Grandpa. Hike grandpa's problem.
Speaker 1: Cheeze Grandpa. Hi, Cheese Grandpa.
Speaker 2: You're getting crazy with my che's grandfather here. You need
to relax, Okay, Cheese Grandpa.
Speaker 1: And you looking at haler because it keeps squeezing.
Speaker 5: Oh god, well, it's just sort of how cheese Grandpa
sounds and feels.
Speaker 2: You know, it's uh, you feel it's not something we
talk about. It's not good news, blocks passages.
Speaker 1: She's grandpa. You keep getting spitting stuff on our microphone.
Speaker 2: Cheese, it's cheese.
Speaker 4: I'll take the scrutty wood.
Speaker 2: Oh that's all we fight, your grandpa. Che's Grandpa.
Speaker 4: Cheese Grandpa gets a boy.
Speaker 2: Oh he's getting feisty now, and you know, hey, hey, I'll.
Speaker 1: Take al the move fight.
Speaker 4: I take the Scrubby.
Speaker 5: See this is what happened when cheese Grandpa gets a
little feisy, he gets hungry. The only thing that calms
down cheese Grandpa is a delivery from spaghetti mail Man.
Spaghetti Mailman, Please, we need to help ches Grandpa.
Speaker 4: Rump bay, I got a big bull in for you.
What do you want?
Speaker 1: You want?
Speaker 4: Angel here? You want?
Speaker 1: Or Ketty? Is maybe what she's Grandpa is feeling. Chris,
defend yourself from cheese Grandpa. He's kicking your ass right now.
I'm just but it's not It doesn't hurt much. It's
just I mean, he's pists on you, but they are
very slow punches.
Speaker 2: Well, he is a younger man and he is filled
with cheese.
Speaker 1: Can you dig it? I can?
Speaker 5: That's all classic cheese grandpa catchphrase, A little Warriors reperence.
Speaker 2: Okay, cheese Grandpa.
Speaker 1: Stopped hitting me for a second.
Speaker 2: All right, stop stop hitting me out, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 5: This is an action packed episode of Good Morning Ratman.
Oh check it, Clayton, Will you check his.
Speaker 1: Pulse for me?
Speaker 3: I'm dead, I mean I'm looking at me. He's talking.
He's fine, he's fine.
Speaker 2: Right, but check his pulse is what I'm saying, not
just look at it.
Speaker 1: I don't have a pulse. Okay, Chris, I'm gonna check
your pulse because I don't know what else to do. Yeah,
yoh yeah, he's gottum cheese Che's grandpa. Another victory under
his belt, golden gloves at this age. Who would have thought?
Are you based in Hell?
Speaker 4: Ratman? In Hell?
Speaker 2: No, we're Ratman's Studios, the new Ratman.
Speaker 4: We're see.
Speaker 2: We're putting up the sign right here, Ratman Studios. We're
moving it.
Speaker 4: Banjo whoa.
Speaker 1: You'll be careful with our good morning sign.
Speaker 5: That was very expensive, as Ratman says, out with the old,
in with the good you just broke our sign.
Speaker 1: We lose that sign.
Speaker 2: That's not the studio.
Speaker 5: Bandela is taking care of all of the accoutrement around us.
Speaker 2: That's a little French.
Speaker 6: The studio has asked that we remove all former signage.
Speaker 1: I own the studio. This. No one asked you to
do this, Bandela.
Speaker 5: I have asked her before we got here to make
sure that this becomes Ratman Studios in a very short
amount of time.
Speaker 2: And that's the good news. So Ratman, what made you
want to invite us onto your show.
Speaker 5: We have reached out to every conceivable podcast and said, hey,
it's good news rat Man, come and have us on,
and so far I've only heard back from the name
of this show is good Morning from Hell. So I'm
here to promote good news rat Man.
Speaker 1: I don't think we actually responded. I think you guys
just happened to Yeah. I think you just kind of
showed up.
Speaker 2: Bandela put it in my calendar. My calendar is very busy,
and now I'm here.
Speaker 1: I pulled out the email. It just yeah.
Speaker 3: It just says you asked if we wanted to have
you on. No one responded, right, and then you said we.
Speaker 6: Spoke with your people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we spoke with your people. I'm the people, we
are the people.
Speaker 3: And then it says it just you just responded, thanks
so much, excited to be on, and then said does
this date work?
Speaker 1: Uh huh again no response, no response from us.
Speaker 3: Then you responded to yourself right and said yes, great,
so we're here.
Speaker 2: So and that's great.
Speaker 5: Bangela must have spoken to someone on your team, maybe
a member of sales, and that's why you did not
hear from anyone.
Speaker 1: Huh. No, we are a two person team of very
lean unit here. Good morning from Hell Studios where you
are currently located.
Speaker 5: I mean, according to the sign, good morning Ratman Studios,
where we will be recording our podcast.
Speaker 2: But we will have to bangla. We will have to
do something about these bullets that are just going around
like birds.
Speaker 5: I don't understand, but but that's again, there's no bad.
Every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe the bullets fly
elsewhere and protect us.
Speaker 6: What it's hell, Chris, We're gonna need you to change
your look?
Speaker 1: What again, audio, pip Cat? There are there are no
cameras around. I do not see a camera.
Speaker 6: It's not testing well with audiences and demographics above the
age of zero.
Speaker 2: So I'm good with the what do you call babies
that aren't born yet? Phoenuses, venuses. I'm popular with the fetuses.
Speaker 6: There is a fetal margin of error accounted for. The
studio has asked us to change your look to what.
Speaker 1: What options does he have? Chris? Just do it? Just
change the look? What what do you want me to do?
Speaker 6: He's got Halloween debutante and fourth of July Chic.
Speaker 1: I'll take Halloween debutante.
Speaker 5: Oh, I would have gone with fourth of July ship
if I were you, but Halloween debutante can definitely be yours.
Speaker 2: I will not. You know, Hey, good.
Speaker 6: News, sorry to hear you hate this country.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna agree with Raman and Bangela. That's not
a season Halloween debutante.
Speaker 2: And it sounds like is coming around. Sorry the Ratman productions.
I was trying to bring it back to hell, you
know where we are.
Speaker 1: That's like put the fucking costume on Chris. All right, yeah, okay,
all right, well there is Ratman. Please tell us that
we don't need to take the show from the top
now that he's in his new costume.
Speaker 5: Please do Oh that's fantastic. Welcome Banjela. Can we just
roll it back to the top our.
Speaker 4: Time and then we will be good morning rat Man?
Speaker 6: Take five? And if I may say so, Clayton is
scoring very well with Bronie's ages forty to forty six.
Speaker 1: That is not a demographic I want to appeal to.
Speaker 5: Oh that is that's a tough nuts to crack. That's
a great one. They must think that you're one of
them horses.
Speaker 1: I mean, I do have hooves for feet, but that
is not the kind of demographic I want to appeal to.
Speaker 5: Again, that's something I've thought of before, fantasy. This is
why I have my Galfriday.
Speaker 1: Someone else at the door.
Speaker 5: Someone else at the door of Ratman Productions.
Speaker 1: Come on in.
Speaker 6: Oh, dearies, it's you, but Jania Retfire.
Speaker 4: Oh my wee bolly Retchman, it's weal. I haven't seen it,
you know. Oh look at you so many moons?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: I raised you for.
Speaker 2: Movie retig What this is a oaster? Please?
Speaker 4: Oh? Bless your heart?
Speaker 6: So who are these fellows that are taking care of me?
Sweet rat me, sweet rat I know that I raise
him as a boy.
Speaker 1: Your mom or is this Grandma Cheese?
Speaker 4: I was his nanny? You have a Jenia rat.
Speaker 2: Fire, rat Fire Clayton Chris.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want you to meet my nanny who comes
by every so often to check on me. I am
forty four years old, forty four years young. However, that
does not mean that a family and found family cannot
come and check on you every now and again.
Speaker 2: Beautiful irish accent.
Speaker 5: She will be stopping by our new studio or new
rat Man production studio from time to time, so please
get used to her and please say hello, Please greet
her kindly.
Speaker 1: Hello, Miss Ratfire rat Man I think that that's a
man dressed as a it's just in a poor disguise
as an old woman.
Speaker 6: Know, I'm here just to bring you some tea, dearies,
would it be one lumber two?
Speaker 3: Missus Ratfire's faces the make a and stuff is melting
from the fires of hell.
Speaker 2: So hello, catch phrase?
Speaker 4: You want to hear you want to hear a little
bit about him? The backstory of me raising Ratsman? Do you? Oh?
Speaker 5: Please, I cannot get enough of Clayton. Please let let
us hear this story before we begin, please.
Speaker 2: Miss rat Fire. I love rat story so much. This
is fantastic.
Speaker 7: Oh.
Speaker 6: I was just a young woman, no children of my own.
Uh huh virginal so hope you're and I said, oh,
I don't want to baby to raise, so I just
took on young Ratsman here as my charge. And oh
I raised him for a wee rat baby, made him
everything he is today. Oh, bless his heart. Now I'm
in hell for it.
Speaker 1: Quick quick question, Ratman, Ratman, I got a question for you.
Uh did your parents get a divorce at a young
age and then your dad did not get custody your
visitation just curious.
Speaker 2: Actually, here's what you did not know.
Speaker 5: Actually a sore subject for rat Man and his tragic backstory.
My parents died at a very young age, when I
was a wee baby.
Speaker 1: So sorry.
Speaker 2: They died doing the rat Man?
Speaker 1: What doing?
Speaker 4: What doing?
Speaker 2: Doing the rat Man?
Speaker 1: This is your super villain. You are the Orgies story.
Speaker 4: It's COIs a sad story.
Speaker 2: It's a very sad story.
Speaker 6: Ratsman and his parents were leaving a production of a
musical and though they stopped in the alley and a
young thief pulled a gun on them just as.
Speaker 4: They were doing the rat.
Speaker 2: Men, just as they were doing the rat Man, and
that's how they died.
Speaker 1: Is that a dance?
Speaker 2: The rat a dance? No, it's whippits what I'm losing
the plot.
Speaker 4: It's doing whippets in the alley.
Speaker 5: They were doing whippets. Me and my parents were leaving
a theater. My parents decided to go in the alley
with me, a young boy, a young rat and they
decided to do the rat Man, which is doing whippets,
And then a thief came and shot them both.
Speaker 6: A young man back against the wall, destined to ruin
the future of a young rat pulled a gun, pulled
a pistol.
Speaker 5: And that is why I am endlessly positive.
Speaker 1: Wit so are you? Are you on whippets right now?
Speaker 2: We do not call it that. We call it doing
the rat Man?
Speaker 1: So did we do the rat Man? Am I that?
I can't tell you. I feel like we did the Ratman?
Because I'm pretty out did the rat Man? I mean?
Speaker 5: Do you do the Man while you listen to my podcast?
Speaker 2: Good morning rat Man?
Speaker 1: No? No, this is the first time here about it.
I don't know if it was like snuck? Is this
room filled with Ratman?
Speaker 5: Guess it's just it's just the canister, just the gas
from inside of whip cream containers?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Did you pump it into the room? Now?
Speaker 2: Why would I pump it into the room? Christopher?
Speaker 5: You do the rat Man on your own time? This
is Ratman Productions time, and this is time forless.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to.
Speaker 4: Say tea time. Will it be one? Oh?
Speaker 2: How many loves Clayton?
Speaker 1: Two?
Speaker 4: Oh, bless your heart? Three?
Speaker 6: With the magic answer, I give you three?
Speaker 4: Then why are you?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 4: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Everyone say thank you miss.
Speaker 1: Rat Fire, rat Fire?
Speaker 6: Oh bless your heart's your rehearts? Oh your rat hears?
Bless you?
Speaker 1: Just put sugar in a cup of diarrhea.
Speaker 2: Drink it down.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's really gonna drink it right?
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Chris, ad Chris, drink it.
Speaker 1: It's not even my cup. Yeah, you should drink it probably.
That's this is a lot better. I gotta be honest
with you. It's a lot better than normal diarrhea.
Speaker 2: That's the magic power of Miss rat Fire. Oh, this
is a classic catch raising.
Speaker 1: Every love, every every cop has loved is amazing, amazing.
Speaker 4: I remember when Ratman was a re wee boy.
Speaker 1: It is we got it.
Speaker 6: Mister faculties worked, if you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: That's a story for a different time.
Speaker 4: Baby, hepe through his arm.
Speaker 2: All right, Miss rat Fire has to go.
Speaker 1: Goodbye, Miss rat Fire.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 5: We have to record this episode so that way we
can get it out to my three listeners. Please, well
you two who are both on it on this one?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, that is that the phone? I'm assuming you have
a caller? Is there a color?
Speaker 2: Good morning, Ratman? Who is this?
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 3: My name's Kennedy.
Speaker 1: Hi Kennedy, how are you good?
Speaker 6: I'm just calling because our local youth center is in
jeopardy of closing to help us get the word out
and maybe even just raise some money up stay open.
Speaker 5: That's fantastic. How how much money are you looking to
raise and how can Ratman help?
Speaker 1: I think we need about five hundred dollars and.
Speaker 6: Maybe I think you're a big popular podcast that you
can ask people to maybe donate if.
Speaker 1: I made Kennedy. I just want to point out that
Good Morning rat Man only has three listeners. I just
want to you might want to call another podcast.
Speaker 5: Right, but listen Clayton Kennedy. I don't want him to
undercut the good news and the things that we're trying to.
Speaker 2: Do to help here.
Speaker 5: They have signed NDAs that will allow all of their
listeners to become Ratman Productions listeners.
Speaker 2: So our listenership has gone way up.
Speaker 5: And I think Bansela, if we can take it from
the top, maybe we can help Kennedy here and we
can do another record for this episode.
Speaker 2: Or are we ready? Are we good to roll.
Speaker 6: Good Morning Ratman back to one?
Speaker 4: Take a mini?
Speaker 1: Why we've done it so many times? Oh my god?
Speaker 3: See now you know what it feels like to do
something for eternally over and over as punishment?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it. Now, this is what it's like Clayton.
Speaker 5: Excuse me, sorry, excuse me. I don't mean to be
negative here, but the host is trying to talk Angela.
I don't mean to have to reset again and put
more burden on your shoulders.
Speaker 6: Set again.
Speaker 2: Thank you Va every one.
Speaker 6: Good Morning rat Man, take six.
Speaker 1: I think it's more than six bands.
Speaker 5: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Good morning Ratman. You can find
us at good Morningratman dot com where you can help
us raise money. That's the good news for today. We're
raising money for Kennedy in the youth center.
Speaker 1: Good Morning rat Man is not a real website. I
just went to and it goes to some random Twitter account.
Speaker 2: Well then it must be good news.
Speaker 5: Comma rat Man is the website where we can raise
money for Kennedy. Kennedy, I'm so glad that you called
Ratman Productions. I'm here with two faithful listeners, Clayton and
Chris from their podcast podcast from Hell good Morning, and
they will be They want to help us raise a
lot of money for your youth center. Yeah, they are
both committed to five hundred dollars. They're dustily doubling our
goal for the youth center. Congratulations. That is fantastic stuff.
And that is the good news. Clayton, Chris Kennedy, thank
you so much. And that has been another episode of
Good Morning Ratman. Remember to like and subscribe wherever you
get podcasts Goodnewsratman dot com. And we'll see you next
time on Good Morning Ratman.
Speaker 3: And wait, let me tell let me tell you and
that's good. And we could cut their Bandela, that's fantastic.
Let me tell them, let me tell them where they
can donate to uh to Angela's thing.
Speaker 5: We've already we've already cut. We've already cut Bangelo.
Speaker 2: The show notes. I think no, no, wait, Chris, this
is okay.
Speaker 1: All right, Hey guys, great, we'll see you here later.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having us at your studio. We'll clean up.
You guys can get out, we can we'll clean up.
Speaker 2: You're leaving already. That's fantastic.
Speaker 5: Well, Banjela, if you can see if you could show
them the door, that would be fantastic.
Speaker 1: Someone's at the door. Someone's at the door.
Speaker 5: Maybe they're here to help you escort you out of
who's here? A good good morning rat Man. Who's here?
Speaker 4: Does somebody say clean up? Oh? Look at this?
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I could get really at home here.
Speaker 1: What is who are you? Are you a janitor or
are you a homeless person? I don't know.
Speaker 4: Oh, I love me to.
Speaker 7: Introduced myself Chatting Strawberry Janitor at Large chatting Tenton Chetton
Stoving Janitor at.
Speaker 2: Large, chant chant Why are you at large?
Speaker 1: What does that even mean?
Speaker 7: You might know me from such janitorial podcast productions as
no dumb answers with Mark and Brad dude to some
budget cuts.
Speaker 4: I'm looking for a nude gig.
Speaker 5: Angela must have called you for a reason. We're here
to clean this place up. This is great, Uh, Jandon,
you won't see these two too often here at Ratman Studios.
Speaker 2: So if these two will shuffle off, then you can
be on your way with the cleaning. Then that'll be great.
Speaker 6: Wait, why does this one look like he's already been
cleaning you?
Speaker 4: Try to take Tenton out of a job, but.
Speaker 3: It Yes, I would love to take any of Chanton's jobs, or.
Speaker 4: Jud and Strawberry Janitor at large.
Speaker 1: Yeah, janitor at large.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but say the first name Chanting Strawby, that's Chanton.
Speaker 1: It's We've been really explicit a million Try to say Chinton.
Speaker 2: Wait, Clayton, is he usually like this?
Speaker 1: Is this how this goes? Yeah? Yeah, I know it's
he's a slow learner. Chris is so sorry, sorry about
that chanting strawberry here at large. It's a slap in the.
Speaker 4: Face, and that's the type that I usually like.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's kind of a massacus, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Why don't you get grandpa, he's good at slapping m grandpa.
Speaker 4: You look at it. Good pumped a good boo.
Speaker 1: Uh oh no, cheese grandpa.
Speaker 2: Just go back and you can go back to your
stool and sit and relax.
Speaker 4: Slice.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, all right, all right, it's okay, cheese Grandpa.
Speaker 5: Everything's all right. Bangela, Can we can we get some
order here? We just finished the episode. If you can
deliver it to Spaghetti mail Man, we can be on
our way and our friends here can leave our studio
and we have it.
Speaker 2: Everything will be good.
Speaker 6: Copy that episode digitizing ETA forty five hours.
Speaker 5: Oh, thank you so much. It is we do flack lossless.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: Have you had any other guests like this or any
other podcasts before?
Speaker 1: Is this? You know?
Speaker 5: Usually you know Spaghetti Man Manna drop by and you
know we have Banjelon and she's Grandpa, but not usually
all of them all at once.
Speaker 2: And you know, I think we're really maxing it out here.
Speaker 1: I think we're about to have another one on those
Oh fantastic.
Speaker 5: Yeah, who's at the door please at Ratman Productions.
Speaker 4: Well, Ratman, you forgot to one of your best.
Speaker 6: Guests that you have on the show.
Speaker 1: My god, Paul McCartney.
Speaker 2: I love jeez, Paul McCartney. Oh he is the wall?
Speaker 4: Where is Oh?
Speaker 2: Have fun?
Speaker 3: I mean, I will say Paul McCartney's a big get
for Good Morning Ratman.
Speaker 6: But it's also wonderful to be appearing on a podcast
for the first time ever.
Speaker 1: Paul, you've been on our show. You've been on Good Morning.
Speaker 3: We ran the fourth episode of article you you better rap?
Speaker 4: Paul?
Speaker 1: All right, you've been on before the fourth episode of
our show.
Speaker 2: Oh is that a pun you.
Speaker 1: Just tried to slip in there or what? It wasn't
very good?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, rat Man, but yeah, no, it's apparently everything's
good here on Ratman.
Speaker 2: Lad, that's right, nothing but positivity.
Speaker 6: Ask John and he said, we've never known the podcast
second before.
Speaker 4: This is the first one.
Speaker 1: He says, you were on it.
Speaker 4: What did we talk about?
Speaker 2: Beetle stuff like, how you guys do sure enough?
Speaker 4: Sure enough, that's what anybody would say, Well, because they
know me from the Beatles and Wings.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody really remembers Wings all that much.
Speaker 2: But oh they had Jet Remember Jet? Great track?
Speaker 5: That is a fantastic track. Tried to get it for
the theme song for Good Morning rat Man. Too expensive,
don't have enough money for that.
Speaker 6: Most people come to me, they say first they say
I loved Wings, and they said, oh, and I remember
you from the Beatles.
Speaker 1: Too, Bangela.
Speaker 2: Are we are we good? Everything's still exporting, everything's fine.
Speaker 6: Digitizing ETA has increased sixty five.
Speaker 5: Days, sixty five days, just spaghetti, spaghetti. Mail Man is
gonna have to come back in about sixty five days
to get this production. Are are you okay with that'sp
I mean you can hang out here if you like to.
I know you have the routes.
Speaker 4: Right now.
Speaker 3: Right I will say this, Ratman, that the ETA is
going to continue to increase as long as we continue
to record.
Speaker 5: Cut already, Chris, it's we are digitizing the last episode
where we helped Kennedy raise the money for her youth Center. See,
this is how podcasts work. It's not just everything we're
saying is making it in. Things get cut, we stop down,
there's endings. That is why we had to.
Speaker 2: Do it over and over again. You guys must be new.
It's okay, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 5: If you are looking for positions at Ratman Productions, you
can get that. You can also apply at goodnewscoma Ratman
dot com where you can apply for a position.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: All right, well then why don't we rap this up now?
Speaker 5: You know what, Chris, Sometimes things go wrong, but I
will say endlessly positive.
Speaker 2: I liked it, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Well, if you'd like to check out
more of rat Man material, follow Ratman on at Morning
from Hell on all social platforms.
Speaker 1: That doesn't sound right, however, and.
Speaker 3: And and there's a special live episode of Ratman that's
gonna be filmed in person. That's right, we'll have a
link for that. It's just the first. I mean, it's
an amazing event. It's the first ratmand live show, not
good Morning from Hell. Uh hextravaganza where Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's the old title. That's not the right title anymore, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because what we were doing. It was gonna be
a live episode of Good Morning from Hell, where we
have special guests and we have people compete for prizes
and it's a it's a whole thing where you can
get tickets at the link Tree for a Good Morning
from Hell or the definitely not that.
Speaker 1: Not that.
Speaker 6: We've re examined the content of the show and we've
designed to pivot to Whippets fantastic.
Speaker 2: We will all be doing the Ratman together.
Speaker 3: All right, all right, well that let's let's go do that.
It's outside of the studio.
Speaker 1: Here we go. Yeah, Hey, thanks for listening, guys, Hill Ratman,
rat MANI.
Speaker 4: Rat Man, thank you. It's a bit of a pleasure.
It's been a bit of a pleasure for me. Oh
my boy, Ratman. Oh I love you forever.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Miss rat Fire thank you too.
Speaker 3: Ericadora and Elise Films were both returning for this is
probably the weirdest episode we've ever done.
Speaker 2: Good That's what we need. That needs to be more
of this.
Speaker 5: There needs to be shows that just fall apart and
where the listener I kind of want the thing where
the listener's going.
Speaker 1: What did I subscribe to?
Speaker 2: What is this show so hopefully we achieve that.
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry, don't at least at least don't ever
apologize never so so so for context, I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what Ratman was.
Speaker 2: It's okay, you still don't.
Speaker 3: I still don't, and neither did Blaine. But I guess
I saw you made a character named Bratman on.
Speaker 5: We were on the Rooster Teeth podcast with Cole and
Gus and it just sort of turned into a yes
and thing where we came up with Ratman and what
he would do. I did not know that that's what
this was gonna be, and that's what it was.
Speaker 3: So this, yeah, I didn't know either. I was like, oh,
rat Man, that sounds like someone who'd come to hell. Eric,
you want to come on as rat Man? And he
said sure.
Speaker 1: And then and then we said the same thing to
Lise and she said, gobble ghoules, but.
Speaker 4: Just play where are you move?
Speaker 5: I just I just want to point out that we
did this on Elesa's birthday, so that was that.
Speaker 2: That was just nothing but birthday character release.
Speaker 3: That's so I know we could get mad at me yep,
diptic community, but if.
Speaker 6: You want to, I usually say diplomatic community.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's a dip low related thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: If you want to check out good News rat Man,
you can go to good Newsratman dot com. That's not real,
it's not a real pot. I just want to no, no,
no no. You can go to good Morning Ratman dot com.
You can go to good Newscomma Ratman dot com. If
you want to see where Ratman came from, you want
to listen to episode six hundred and forty one of
the Rooster Teeth podcast because you still won't understand it,
but you'll be able to see it.
Speaker 6: Just want put out there that, Uh that was a
very low performing podcast episode. So I don't know what.
I don't know what that means for this episode.
Speaker 5: It's going to Yes, people love it, but very vocal minority.
Speaker 2: So that is what is happening.
Speaker 5: Uh, So we which you love best, good luck to
this one your worst performing podcast. And when Andrew Douglas
has to draw this, he's gonna ask you what Ratman
looks like and you're gonna have to say.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I ask Eric.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but I but here's the thing about that,
I'm gonna tell him I don't know.
Speaker 2: So good luck. Andrew Douglas for drawing the thumbnail for this.
Speaker 3: Yeah yet, thank you all for coming on, and thank
you for people who are listening to listen to it.
And happy birthday least, oh thank you.
Speaker 6: Thanks guys. This is a pleasure to do. Thanks for
having me. It was a lot of fun. Maybe we
can also expand and build out this, this universe of characters.
Someday would love to this universe of one note characters.
Speaker 4: Yeah.