WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.559 I have always loved the smell of all paper. Not 2 00:00:07.639 --> 00:00:10.279 the brittle sun cure of mustiness people associate with attics, 3 00:00:10.279 --> 00:00:12.279 but the layer of roma that lives in the local archives, 4 00:00:12.279 --> 00:00:14.839 A mix of polished wood, ink, distant, mildy hint of 5 00:00:14.839 --> 00:00:16.839 binding glue, a kind of soft perffume. I breathing when 6 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:19.960 sliding open a foul draw I suppose most people find 7 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:22.399 a library basement stuffy, but to me there is relief 8 00:00:22.440 --> 00:00:24.519 in the hush, in the click and that of cabinets, 9 00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:26.800 the hollow tap of my name badge on a drawer edge, 10 00:00:26.920 --> 00:00:29.719 the rhythm of a life scheduled around records and reference slips, 11 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:33.320 even dressing for workfield ceremonial, the cardigin pull tight, the 12 00:00:33.399 --> 00:00:35.520 quiet hop over the loose stain near the arcades door. 13 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:38.719 I'm the only one who notices when the nineteen seventeen 14 00:00:38.759 --> 00:00:41.880 council minutes are misfile. This is where the afternoon found 15 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:45.000 me last Monday, cataloging a recent donation, two battered milk crates, 16 00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:47.320 and a brown paper shopping bag. Contents heap with all 17 00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:51.359 the reverence of combos. Wednesday dodors always arrive right before lunch. 18 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:54.880 Letters wore ration receipts a pamphlet for an event that 19 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:58.759 never happened. The Dave monotony carries its own comfort. My 20 00:00:58.840 --> 00:01:00.640 only companions are the creek of my chair and the 21 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:02.799 hum of the light above the mr of vertical files. 22 00:01:03.479 --> 00:01:05.079 It was in the bottom of the paperback that I 23 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:09.000 found the anomaly. Wedge among spiral notebooks and dog eared cupbooks, 24 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:11.920 was a heavy, rectangular block with leather faded almost to 25 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:14.599 green at the corners. The ribbon around it looked out 26 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:17.480 of place, all but barely freight tied with a painstaking nut. 27 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:20.159 As soon as I lifted the book, I felt its weight, 28 00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:22.920 more than a blank journal should be. I ran my 29 00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:25.799 fingers over the texture, the almost familiar resistance of the cover, 30 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:28.079 breathing in the faint trace of something sharp as pepper, 31 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:31.760 perhaps cedar or memory, if that had smell. The book 32 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:34.719 was unmarked, no title, no insignia, nothing on the spine 33 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:38.840 except the ghost of guilt. Cataloger's reflex examined provement's condition. 34 00:01:39.439 --> 00:01:41.159 I set it jinny on my deck and looped the 35 00:01:41.239 --> 00:01:44.439 ribbon and opened the front cover. The pages whispered and puffed, 36 00:01:44.519 --> 00:01:48.120 pure thick paper or creamy, ruled and faded blue. All 37 00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:50.879 were blank as fresh snowful. I thomb for you, my 38 00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:54.680 mind already sketching classification codes. At the very back on 39 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.439 the final page, a handful of lines stood up, pending upright, 40 00:01:57.560 --> 00:02:02.480 almost fastidious handwriting. My hand ran I stilled five or 41 00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:05.400 six compact lines. The readers have plot from the most 42 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:09.719 trivial diary, re arranged Civil war pamphlets lost William's pen cap. 43 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:12.840 Customer asked about nor Field Map coffee for Philt three 44 00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:16.719 sixteen cold. The minute detail, the odd specificity, especially the 45 00:02:16.719 --> 00:02:18.840 pencapun settled me enough that I closed the book and 46 00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:22.039 looked again. The page was undeniably written in my hand. 47 00:02:22.120 --> 00:02:24.000 The way I sweep the f the shutdown would tilt 48 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.360 on an owl, even the small indentation left by habitually 49 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:28.840 heavy touch on my favorite pen, but I had not 50 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:31.560 written it. I checked inside the front cover of her name, 51 00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:33.919 an inscription, perhaps a joke from Maggie, or a leftover 52 00:02:33.960 --> 00:02:38.039 from years past. Not then gingerly, I turned the last 53 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.840 page back and force peering for feignd imprints. None. The 54 00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:45.080 inks are atop the page, gently raised as afresh, I 55 00:02:45.159 --> 00:02:48.280 glanced at the clock four forty eight. I was unsettled. 56 00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:50.520 Enough to reach from my phone and photographed the page 57 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:54.639 before reminding myself archavis ought to follow procedure, gloves, minimal handling, 58 00:02:54.680 --> 00:02:57.919 accession sheet. Yet I stared at the lines again, passing 59 00:02:57.960 --> 00:03:01.639 the miraculous banality. These were, in fact my own actions 60 00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:04.000 from just to day, transcribed almost as I remembered them, 61 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.240 favors of memory i'd usually ignore. I spent several slow 62 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:11.639 minutes passing explanations, prank, coincidence, the residue of habit catalog 63 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:14.159 as grow suspicious, imagining how easily a record could be 64 00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:17.319 planted or forged. But when I looked again, the effect was, 65 00:03:17.360 --> 00:03:20.400 if not comforting, then quietly impossible. How could a page 66 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:22.439 in a donated journal hidden in a box of junk, 67 00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:25.599 Where could the unremarkable events of an ordinary day? I 68 00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:27.680 let my finger tips rest on the cover and listen 69 00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:29.479 for the hollow sound of a trick of a hidden 70 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:31.840 note or double page. But the book was inert, breeding 71 00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:33.840 only its ancient paper and a new note of unease. 72 00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:37.120 Resisting melodrama, I slid the journal into a brass handle 73 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:39.479 drawer beside the desk stamps, paused to write slip with 74 00:03:39.479 --> 00:03:42.599 the day's date, and locked it away. Already my mind 75 00:03:42.639 --> 00:03:46.879 was arranging questions for tomorrow, half chastising, half anticipatory. There 76 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:49.639 is a unique perverse comfort in archive work. Whatever can 77 00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:52.520 be remembered is never quite lost, and whatever cannot find 78 00:03:52.599 --> 00:03:55.599 ways of surfacing, though rarely so litterally as this. The 79 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:58.479 next morning arrived gray indulled, with drizzle streaking the library's 80 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:01.639 newsprint windows. I umbrella caught on the railing as ikeied 81 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:03.639 him through the back entrance, the only door that leads 82 00:04:03.639 --> 00:04:06.960 to archives. I prefer arriving before the official opening, just 83 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:09.000 me and the pigeons settling under the eaves. The days 84 00:04:09.039 --> 00:04:12.599 only promise the scent of old bindings. The local archives 85 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:16.199 are neither grand nor especially historic. The library itself is 86 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:19.040 an underdorned brocrrect and gol slousch behind the elementary school, 87 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:22.040 one block from the river Slow Curve. The archive is 88 00:04:22.040 --> 00:04:24.519 three doors and nine irregular stairs below the main floor, 89 00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:27.959 proper battered linoleums, spedded ceiling shelving painted the color of 90 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:31.920 cigarette ash. Maggie likes to whisper archly that it smells 91 00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:34.360 like something dyed in the wall. She is not wrong, 92 00:04:34.439 --> 00:04:36.240 but she says it fondly, with the good humor of 93 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:38.519 someone whose heart would not change with a new paint job. 94 00:04:39.160 --> 00:04:42.720 Turt's eiders the archives are half storage, half curiosity shop, 95 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:45.720 accidental museum of what the rest of town shrugs it 96 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:49.680 to me. Order is sanctuary each morning and all small rituals. 97 00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:52.439 Unlocking the double bolt on the archive door, feeling the 98 00:04:52.439 --> 00:04:54.959 thunk of the heavy latch, listening as the echo travels 99 00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:57.319 to the lot map room. I take comfort in the 100 00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:59.759 steel cap pencil cup Maggie gave me from my birthday. 101 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:02.439 The jack of coal number stamps the pristine RDO folder's 102 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:05.480 line like teeth. There is satisfaction in both order and 103 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:08.839 unfailed blanks. Maggie drifted in at nine fourteen with a 104 00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:12.680 travel mug enigrin. She may cracks about mystery boxes, trying 105 00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:14.680 to draw me into guessing game over the provements of 106 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:17.639 a battered notebook bett its haunted. I shook my head 107 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:19.920 avoiding mention of the leather journal. There's no need to 108 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:22.879 feed her appetite for weirdness. In her hands, everything becomes 109 00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:25.439 a predixt for teasing. She dropped a sticky note on 110 00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:27.879 my desk lunch if you finished time travel by noon, 111 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.240 and moved off to show the stack of high school annuals, 112 00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:33.360 A brief call from my wife Jane, diffused the morning, 113 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:36.519 a checking about groceries, gentle complaints about my evening hours. 114 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:40.319 She cares nothing for manuscripts or their idiosyncrasies. In her world, 115 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.920 a lost record and a missing socker equal in importance. 116 00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:46.120 I love her practicality. It reminds me that my world is, 117 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:49.959 by design more pores than most. That afternoon, I paused 118 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:52.680 at the threshold of my small kingdom, letting the science settle. 119 00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:56.959 This basement is my monastery. A shadowed alcove, just visible 120 00:05:56.959 --> 00:05:59.600 from the main office holds the real treasure, small forgotten 121 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:02.560 cattleg with reverence. Even the hum of the air vent 122 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:05.839 is a comfort. Each Wednesday holds the same slow rituals, 123 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:09.480 updating accessions, running report numbers for the library director, tidying 124 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:12.639 the end, the seep of dust. After closing, I returned 125 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:15.199 to the drawer. The weight of the journal, the oddness 126 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:17.160 of at presents, made me nervous in a way I 127 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:20.079 could not admit loud. I promised myself I would ask 128 00:06:20.120 --> 00:06:22.399 Maggie for her opinion the next day, perhaps as an 129 00:06:22.399 --> 00:06:26.120 icebreaker and excuse to share the weirdness. Instead, I slipped 130 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.319 the book back in, surrounded by the familiar clot of 131 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:31.000 brass fasteners and a loose half roll of arkeeval tape. 132 00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:34.079 The lock clicked as I turned it, an unnecessary barrier, 133 00:06:34.199 --> 00:06:35.920 but it calmed me enough to finish out the day 134 00:06:36.480 --> 00:06:39.839 Whenever returned Thursday morning, the first contradiction was waiting. I'd 135 00:06:39.879 --> 00:06:41.240 left the book in a locked drawer at the back 136 00:06:41.279 --> 00:06:44.240 of my desk. I remember the click, the small grunt 137 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:46.560 as the drawer stuck, the routine of double checking the lock. 138 00:06:47.319 --> 00:06:49.680 Yet when I arrived, my arms still damp but missed. 139 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:52.120 The journal was upright on the referenced shelf, beside a 140 00:06:52.120 --> 00:06:54.439 stack of David Mackley books, a spot I never used 141 00:06:54.439 --> 00:06:57.639 for unsorted donations. I froze there for a moment, keys 142 00:06:57.680 --> 00:07:01.360 in Hann surveying the familiar scene, skewed by impossibability. Sun 143 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:04.279 leaked through the basement windows, spotlighting the journal's charcoal cover. 144 00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:08.439 Maggie was nowhere in sight. Stealing myself, I took the book, 145 00:07:08.519 --> 00:07:10.439 checked the drawer, still lock, and set the two side 146 00:07:10.439 --> 00:07:14.360 by side, No other items disturbed, no sign of drawer 147 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.759 had been rattled. Carefully, I opened to the final page, 148 00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:21.319 a new entry awaited me. The page was crisp, the 149 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:24.439 ink dark, and mistakably, my script leaning right, resty loops, 150 00:07:24.519 --> 00:07:28.360 each comma precise. This time, the summary did not describe yesterday, 151 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:33.000 instead Monday. One misplay smug beside double stacked yearbooks, calible 152 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.279 wave mentioned missing railway station, Maggie's loft over weather coffee 153 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:39.279 refilled this time at three eleven, lukewarm, I closed the 154 00:07:39.279 --> 00:07:43.480 book almost violently. Callb Irregular had not yet arrived this morning. 155 00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:47.199 Maggie was shelving, not laughing. My lunch mug sat safely 156 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:50.759 on my desk. None of these events had happened. It, 157 00:07:51.560 --> 00:07:55.319 I interpolated, perhaps some prank that hallaid memory surfacing. I 158 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:57.360 tried to ground myself. Scribbled a note on my phone 159 00:07:57.399 --> 00:07:59.959 describing the position of the book, the exact page number, 160 00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:02.560 the presence of ingk smudging and conspicuously against my finger, 161 00:08:02.680 --> 00:08:05.920 as if hours old, not minutes. I placed the journal 162 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:08.079 at the far end of the map case, underneath the 163 00:08:08.120 --> 00:08:11.360 stack of unfouled newsletters, daring it to move. But the 164 00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:14.360 world did not rearrange to fit my suspicion. Instead, the 165 00:08:14.439 --> 00:08:17.399 dance bolds predicted the narrative, matching the page with precision. 166 00:08:17.959 --> 00:08:20.360 At ten four, as a supervised matter estate based entry 167 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:22.480 Calvin his warn brown coat lean and task about the 168 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:26.160 defunct railway station, I found myself stuttering. I misplaced my 169 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:29.199 mug beside the pile of reshelved yearbooks precisely as foretold, 170 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:31.839 and only recalled his location upon reading the entry again. 171 00:08:32.399 --> 00:08:34.799 I ran my hand idly over the journal's cover, noting 172 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:37.000 that the edges felt somehow warmer, as if the book 173 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:40.480 had absorbed the room's attention. I tested once more after lunch, 174 00:08:40.679 --> 00:08:42.480 with the library empty but for the echoes of two 175 00:08:42.519 --> 00:08:45.159 high schoolars in a genealogy microfilm room, I slept the 176 00:08:45.240 --> 00:08:47.480 journal into the lock books of the rare bookscase, accessible 177 00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:49.799 only by my own key. I made a note on 178 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:52.480 my fallen as insurance, left journal and rare books safe 179 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:54.639 A two one should be impossible for it to move, 180 00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:58.720 then returned to shelving. At three four, while looking from 181 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:00.879 a space council letter, I found on the journal standing 182 00:09:00.919 --> 00:09:03.360 uperate again on the reference shelf, and disturbed the safe door, 183 00:09:03.399 --> 00:09:05.720 re locked my keys still in my pocket. The new 184 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.279 entry weighed inscrutable. As Ever, the absence of fear was 185 00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.440 almost stranger than the impossibility the world outside remained utully reliable. 186 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.120 The river drifted passed, the april drizzle waxed and waned, 187 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:19.240 the news carried on with its familiar dullness. And yet 188 00:09:19.320 --> 00:09:21.759 the library archives had acquired a cracker gap through which 189 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:24.120 the ordinary rules ebbed and pulled, changed by an object 190 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.960 that quietly refused to obey. I could have ignored it, 191 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:29.720 I suppose, but there was a kind of stubborness bread 192 00:09:29.720 --> 00:09:32.919 by years of caring for ignored things. Ignorance is not 193 00:09:33.159 --> 00:09:34.879 in its alf for comfort to me. I set out 194 00:09:34.879 --> 00:09:36.679 to observe, to test, to see if the crack in 195 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:39.639 routine led anywhere at all. Over the next days, my 196 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:44.039 investigation wandered, alternating territory, scientific experiment, lough, greatest spinache, even 197 00:09:44.039 --> 00:09:47.320 something approaching magical thinking. The journal became an object of 198 00:09:47.320 --> 00:09:51.120 near maniacal focus. I plodded, its location, already chartered, the 199 00:09:51.159 --> 00:09:54.679 times it appeared, surveyed who else had access. Each test 200 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:59.720 only magnified the uncannoness first observation. The journal always appeared 201 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:02.039 to the exact same shelf on the east wall. Wind absent, 202 00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:05.240 no other object to missing book, A borrowed pamphlet had 203 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:08.320 this persistence, I asked Maggie to handle the book in 204 00:10:08.360 --> 00:10:10.519 case some cleverest sleight of hand was being performed without 205 00:10:10.519 --> 00:10:13.639 my knowledge. To her, it was merely a pleasing oddity, 206 00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.240 whilejurious paper is in it. Shame the pages are blank. 207 00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:19.120 She ran her nails over the cover, whistling a gobble 208 00:10:19.159 --> 00:10:22.000 pop tune, then tucked it onto a cataloging car. I 209 00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:24.559 enlisted the help of two regulars, Ellen and Arnold, who 210 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:27.720 agreed to participate more to humor me. Both examined the 211 00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:31.120 journal extensively. The reactions identical. Just a blank book, A 212 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:33.919 very nice one. Where did ye get this? I asked 213 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:36.200 them in tur And to write anything and name a 214 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:39.120 line of poetry, even a doodle. As I watched there, 215 00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:41.960 in faded on the page a RaSE. Within seconds, not 216 00:10:42.120 --> 00:10:45.279 so much as a shadow remained. I try, folks, trembling 217 00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:48.440 to Ryan, note myself Toesk, just me. For a few minutes, 218 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:51.320 the words glistened black in the sterile basement light. By 219 00:10:51.399 --> 00:10:54.679 next morning, the page was blank. Later that day the 220 00:10:54.679 --> 00:10:58.720 summary appeared in my hand. My next tactic copy and duplication. 221 00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:01.480 I placed the book on the library copy selected a 222 00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:05.120 high contrast scan. The reproduction, of course, offered only a 223 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:08.519 field of white. I leveraged the visual magnifier, dusted the 224 00:11:08.519 --> 00:11:11.080 page with chemical developers. Still the summary, present to my 225 00:11:11.159 --> 00:11:15.480 eyes and touch, was invisible to any mechanical reproduction. Further provocation, 226 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:18.159 I stored the journal in the bank's combination safe overnight 227 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:21.039 on the pretext of confidential acquisition. Though I worried about 228 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:24.720 the ethics of moving unidentified items of premises. Next morning, 229 00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:27.360 as before, it was waiting on the reference shelf, precisely 230 00:11:27.399 --> 00:11:30.360 where it had first surface. Its new entry simply returned 231 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:33.960 as always. The bank's staff asked in discreet whispers, saw 232 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:37.799 no such book. The safe had been untouched. Beyond physical strangeness, 233 00:11:37.799 --> 00:11:41.000 the entries grew more elaborate. There were always summaries, concise 234 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:42.879 accounts of my day, yet now leaced with the size 235 00:11:42.919 --> 00:11:45.639 that I had not spoken aloud, References to fleeting thoughts, 236 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:50.000 even half remembered dreams. Sometimes the journal mentioned feelings You'll 237 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:53.000 hesitate before answering Meg's question about the nineteen eleven fire, 238 00:11:53.799 --> 00:11:56.000 or a grateful thought about Jane her suggestion of dinner 239 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:59.200 after closing. The temptation was to laugh at office projection, 240 00:11:59.480 --> 00:12:02.559 but the metaphor physical prank grew insistent. I began to 241 00:12:02.600 --> 00:12:05.360 recognize sentences, not as it goes, but as subtle prompts, 242 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:07.360 the nudge that led me to rediscover a platue behind 243 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:10.240 the cabinet, or chased on a misplaced photograph. When I 244 00:12:10.279 --> 00:12:13.320 mentioned the strangeness to Jane, that weakened haltingly, half disguised 245 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:16.240 as a joker, brow furrowed. You always get word when 246 00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:19.000 you work late in the archives, she said, only half teasing. 247 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:22.720 She proposed that I was burnt out or perhaps abnormally suggestible, 248 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:26.200 and insisted that I leave work early. Once I tried 249 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:29.120 that night, I still found a yew entry The next morning, 250 00:12:29.159 --> 00:12:32.120 this one noting attempted escape At five forty two, returned 251 00:12:32.120 --> 00:12:34.480 to archhous In. Thought, before sleep, what I know of 252 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:36.600 me wasn't the creep of the journal, but how intimate 253 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:39.799 its knowledge became, how it surface submerged recollections, or described 254 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:42.440 my feelings before I named them. He fell to pang 255 00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:44.840 at the empty children's desk. He laughed too loudly at 256 00:12:44.879 --> 00:12:48.360 Ellyne's juke. These were descriptions only Jane or I would recognize, 257 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:50.480 And yet Jane never handled the book and never once 258 00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:53.279 saw a summary in her own hand. Another day I 259 00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:55.840 found a reference to Galop's question about the ten square clock. 260 00:12:56.519 --> 00:12:59.080 I had not recalled any such exchange, but upon speaking 261 00:12:59.159 --> 00:13:01.279 to Caleb, he confirms arranteed mentioned it as an aside 262 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:03.600 the previous week. In the moments after I tuned out, 263 00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:06.159 the details sent a chill, not fear, but an odd 264 00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:09.039 sense of being witnessed, even in negligence. The book was 265 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:10.960 not only keeping track of what idea, but of what 266 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:14.480 I only half noticed. Testing boundaries. I tried leaving the 267 00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:17.200 book in moral library hideaways. I buried it in the 268 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:19.679 book mending supply closet, taped to shut inside a box, 269 00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:21.600 swaddled it in brown paper with a note reading and 270 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:24.519 do not disturb. Each time the journal reappeared on the shelf, 271 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:27.879 the entry updated in the unmistakable scroll. Contacts at the 272 00:13:27.919 --> 00:13:31.000 library smelling blood began to tease, like here being haunted 273 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.919 by to do list. Maggie joked. When I press her, 274 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:35.919 she suggested I had a twin, or that the book 275 00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:39.000 was possessed by your inner admin. Yet the peculiar intimacy 276 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:42.279 of the entries ruled out almost all plausible explanations. My 277 00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:45.440 own efforts at writing in the book evaporators literal not metaphorical, 278 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:49.080 while any attempt by others left the journal untouched. One morning, 279 00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:52.000 as sunlight finally fractured, the relentless drizzle and trace fell 280 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:54.840 agree across my clotted desk. The entries grew more predictive. 281 00:13:55.399 --> 00:13:58.279 They no longer only recorded, but seemed to anticipate, even 282 00:13:58.279 --> 00:14:01.600 shape my actions. I began to feel quietly shepherd into 283 00:14:01.639 --> 00:14:03.840 my eye, caught subtle misplacements O have missed. I found 284 00:14:03.879 --> 00:14:07.440 long misfeld community programs unurkeed in nineteen twenties ballots stub 285 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:10.879 waged in an old encyclopedia. The entries wrote themselves as 286 00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:13.240 if suggesting that tomorrow's curiosity owed a debt to what 287 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:15.840 the book chose to remember. To day, I spent hours 288 00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:19.440 reviewing donation records, growing strangely possessive of the book's origins. 289 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:21.840 The intick slipped for the box in which had found 290 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:25.000 the journal, listed only in sorted books, donor's uncle's estate, 291 00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:28.440 a vague phone number. When I called the voice on 292 00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:32.600 the other and middle aged scatterp recounted nothing unusual, Nope, 293 00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:35.679 just boxes a scrap. My great uncle never threw anything away. 294 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:38.480 Gave it to the Historical Society. After the estate sale, 295 00:14:38.840 --> 00:14:42.240 I asked about any special journals, family legends, nothing registered. 296 00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:44.840 If you've found anything worth more than a nickel, you're 297 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:48.039 welcome to it, she said, laughing it was a dead 298 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:51.360 end or sore thought. Rummaging through records, I discovered that 299 00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:53.559 the donation paperwork itself had been filled out in my 300 00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:56.440 own handwriting, dated two week prior to the donation's arrival. 301 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:58.960 I checked my own time sheets, even called Jane to 302 00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:01.360 double check my memory. I had not been in the 303 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.480 archives on that date. No other handwriting on the slip. 304 00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:07.679 The town's small size meant there were only so many explanations. 305 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:10.919 After ruling out forgeries and identity confusion, I was left unsettled, 306 00:15:10.919 --> 00:15:13.639 scribbling notes in the margin of a very unremarkable deepook. 307 00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:16.919 Hesitant to risk embarrassment, I shared the oddity with Maggie, 308 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:20.279 half expecting a skepticism. She raised her eyebrow, gave a 309 00:15:20.279 --> 00:15:22.919 half grin, and said, maybe the universe is telling you 310 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:25.120 to stop working so late, or you just forged your 311 00:15:25.159 --> 00:15:28.200 own paperwork in your sleep. I'm not your therapist. I 312 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:30.399 laughed and let the subject drop, but the question not 313 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.600 hal up. Ever more tuned to my moose than Maggie 314 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:36.039 noticed Miyaonnees and stopped by one afternoon with his half 315 00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:38.480 feet and sand which still in hand. You are looking 316 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:40.879 for something, aren't you, he murmured, I, starting to the 317 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:43.200 book at my elbow, I let my guard down and 318 00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:47.320 explain the situation, sparing little detail. You listen. Then scratched 319 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.480 his cheek and said, you know, my grandmother used to 320 00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:51.320 talk about a book that knows back when she were 321 00:15:51.399 --> 00:15:53.080 t here is a page. Said there was always one 322 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:56.279 Liberan who talked to their own notes. He paused, sensing 323 00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:59.440 my skepticism, nought ghost, just the stubbornness of the past. 324 00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:03.000 She'd say, some stories repeat until someone pays attention. I 325 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:05.320 tried to laugh, but as words held a strange resonance. 326 00:16:06.039 --> 00:16:08.480 As the rain lashed harder on the windows, I turned 327 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:11.879 again to the archives, hunting for other evidence. That night, 328 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.679 unable to sleep, as crolled through the Arka's early ledgers 329 00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:17.159 and soon found myself lost in the musty minischi half 330 00:16:17.159 --> 00:16:20.759 forgotten donations, barely eligible records of borrowing tokens of decades 331 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:24.279 worth of deferred curiosity. In a nineteen forty one ledger, 332 00:16:24.440 --> 00:16:26.399 a margin note in a cramped hand caught my eye 333 00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:29.279 at see memory book desk three for reference Daniel Report 334 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:33.200 error memory Book. I scribbled down the entry, determined to 335 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:36.159 find any further mention. The next morning, as I read 336 00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:38.600 through the journal's latest entry, consider moving me ink, well 337 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:41.480 you'll notice the third shof's missalignment. You'll say nothing. Yet 338 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:45.200 I realized that the mundane predictions were becoming almost pathologically specific. 339 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:48.600 When I checked the third shelf, I did notice the misalignment, 340 00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:52.679 a warped bracket never before registered in awareness. I said nothing, 341 00:16:52.720 --> 00:16:56.080 as instructed. There was no comfort in being seen, known, 342 00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:59.399 perhaps even predicted. It was then that I noticed something 343 00:16:59.399 --> 00:17:02.639 more curious. Occasional references to local history details I had 344 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.759 not consciously known. A mention of the missing school photograph 345 00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:07.960 from nineteen thirty one, a note about the scian hidden 346 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:10.480 behind the supply cabinet, the suggestion that the original town 347 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:13.759 charter had be misfiled in nineteen fifty four. Each time 348 00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:16.200 a half hour or an afternoon of investigation confirmed that 349 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.599 the journal's gentle nudges were, if not omniscient, then strongly suggestive, 350 00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:23.599 until forgotten history quietly surfaced in the arcaust disorder. Wanting 351 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:26.119 more grounding, I reached out to the historical societies by 352 00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:29.440 a weekly launcher for gatherings clotted with thermosis and rolling walkers. 353 00:17:30.119 --> 00:17:33.039 I asked casually if anyone remembered a librarian who always 354 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:35.920 carried an unusual leather band book. A white haired woman 355 00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:39.079 squint then said there was a rumor about a photograph, yes, 356 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.559 a missing one from the twenties, something about a librarian 357 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:44.920 who vanish or maybe just moved away. Her uncertainty was 358 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:47.680 encouraging in its way. I left with a list of 359 00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:50.400 unconfirmed rumors and a new sense of a pattern half formed. 360 00:17:51.039 --> 00:17:54.240 That afternoon, while watching a set of microphone newspapers from 361 00:17:54.279 --> 00:17:57.160 the post war period, I located the reference in a 362 00:17:57.240 --> 00:17:59.599 nineteen twenty two issue of the Northfield Cosette. There it 363 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:02.440 was a corner photograph showing a librariant gender, and determined 364 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:04.960 that phase half turned. Standing at the current reference desk 365 00:18:05.079 --> 00:18:07.880 holding a thick leather band book, I leaned close to 366 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:10.519 the screen, finger tracing the precise cover of the books ribbon. 367 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.480 The caption underneath was barely illegible. Library Staff Spring nineteen 368 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:18.480 twenty two. I enlarged the names. The first was unfamiliar, 369 00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:20.720 but the second of the name Tack just visible was 370 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:24.039 almost my own, only two letters different in spelling, a 371 00:18:24.039 --> 00:18:27.279 trick of genealogy perhaps, or one of those coincidences that 372 00:18:27.319 --> 00:18:30.559 haunt small towns. Yet no such person appeared in any 373 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:34.160 employment record, town or archival. They seemed to exist nowhere 374 00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:36.599 except in this photograph, linked in propetuity to a book 375 00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:38.839 that looked exactly like the journal. Sitting in my lap. 376 00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:41.640 Pinned to the margin was a handwritten note, just large 377 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:44.640 enough to decipher the memory keeper awaiting the next question. 378 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.119 In that moment, I felt a tumbling shift in how 379 00:18:47.160 --> 00:18:50.039 I had been thinking. The journal was never simply about me, 380 00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:53.759 not prank, not time travel, not the byproductive overwork. It 381 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:56.920 was a device, artifact, perhaps a participant in some longer project, 382 00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:59.640 one that connected whoever noticed it, whoever paid attention to 383 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:02.799 the living strat of the archives. The questions it posed, 384 00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:05.079 the memories it surfaced were not rundomly drawn from my 385 00:19:05.160 --> 00:19:07.599 daily life, but from the deeper, neglected patterns of the 386 00:19:07.640 --> 00:19:10.799 town itself. Twilight had crept across the lennoleum by the 387 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:12.880 time I locked the journal away, not in the usual draw, 388 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:15.039 but under my own arm. As I made my way upstairs. 389 00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:17.480 The notion formed as I left. It was not a 390 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:20.079 predictive device, not merely a mirror from my routines, but 391 00:19:20.160 --> 00:19:22.759 something thus shaped awareness itself, drawing out not just what 392 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:25.240 I did, but what I remembered, even what I chose 393 00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:28.200 not to forget. My own role as memory keeper felt 394 00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:31.400 newly strange, the archives more alive, more demanding than they 395 00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:34.359 had that morning. I went home that evening, Jane's soft 396 00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:36.319 music drifting from the kitchen, my mind spinning with the 397 00:19:36.359 --> 00:19:39.200 images of that unplaceable library and a predecessor in curiosity 398 00:19:39.799 --> 00:19:42.839 the town's stories. The archoves themselves felt to be converging 399 00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:45.319 at the crack and routine the journal invited open. I 400 00:19:45.400 --> 00:19:48.079 let myself into the archoves early, long before Maggie's keys 401 00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:49.920