Speaker 1: Now Joe calls his mom, him saying, I don't remember
is a pussy move, and then the crocodile tears. I'm sorry,
I'm just gonna go with crocodile tears. And if they
are real, I don't even care, right because you're a.
Speaker 2: Hoe, Joe, the hoe. I know you know. The cameras
are there.
Speaker 3: This was clearly for us to give you some sympathy
because you feel like you're regretful about your actions.
Speaker 2: E working on this podcast.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. This is like I mean, this is
essentially like Steve Harvey. You gotta e. No.
Speaker 4: Number one asks them, Hey, hello, and welcome onboard another
brand spanking episode of bad television.
Speaker 1: That's long for bat To and I'm long for Dyllan.
That's Patrick. Hey, Kay, how are you doing. I'm good.
So we had c rat Con this Friday. We'll probably
release that footage.
Speaker 2: I don't know sometime.
Speaker 1: Sometimes.
Speaker 2: We had a great time.
Speaker 1: I want to think, a really good time.
Speaker 2: I want to thank everyone. Captain Carrie.
Speaker 3: We had Haley pinto the Balkan Biscuit. Damo, you know
who you are, Chef's arena.
Speaker 2: It was a real good time.
Speaker 1: Gabby, oh Gaby, But Captain Carrey, thanks very much for
showing up. I all the tea rats, but carry was
out ripping it up for his birthday.
Speaker 2: And he took time to spend with the listeners.
Speaker 1: That was good. Yes, and thanks to all the listeners
that participated in it. It's very fun. We'll probably do
it again next year.
Speaker 3: And then next year we're going to celebrate our tenth
I don't need to promote this, but we're definitely gonna
have a fan meet up in person next year. Oh
really celebrate our ten years. Yeah, I'll get us a cake.
Speaker 1: We have not been doing this ten years.
Speaker 2: We've been doing it since twenty seventeen days.
Speaker 1: That makes me so sad. I mean happy too. But
you know, I just you know, every day before we record,
we have a little mantra we we go, we're taken
down Rogan, and we just haven't taken him down yet,
not yet.
Speaker 2: There's still time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, Dylan Dylan, Dylan Dylan dn't hold
on some of these old bastards.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about Bill Burr. That's sound of a bit.
Speaker 3: You're talking about Bilberr, Bill Burr, Rogan, all those guys.
It took them thirty years it's just gonna take us
fifteen to get to the top.
Speaker 1: I say twelve wrote We're coming for that ass, Rogan,
that media ass. Okay, So we've got below Deck to
talk about tonight. If you want real Housewives of Salt Lake,
go to patroon dot com. Slash another podcast network. If
you're a fan of Beverly Hills listening to the same feed,
another public service announcement, go see sorry Baby, It's so fantastic.
It really really is so fantastic. It's like such an
unbelievable it's just such a rejuvenating thing to witness.
Speaker 2: You're the second person to recommend that to me.
Speaker 1: I think the first. No, someone else that I think
I was before them.
Speaker 2: Well, fair enough, I'm just saying you are the second.
Speaker 1: P Uh.
Speaker 2: The other thing is uh.
Speaker 3: After next week, we will be taking a one and
a half week break. Dylan and I and Kaylin we
never take breaks. We will be take in a break,
but in our absence, we will be releasing.
Speaker 1: How cold is that diet coke?
Speaker 2: It's pretty cold?
Speaker 1: Let me feel it.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, we will.
Speaker 3: Be releasing the uncensored, formally Patreon exclusive first season of Blowdeck.
Speaker 2: This is where we talked all the sea. I like
medium temperature diets.
Speaker 1: So see to have a diet coke, diet cokes have
to be the mountains have to be blue on a
DC otherwise it's just toxic sludge.
Speaker 3: If I may help promote our coverage of Blow Deck Season.
Speaker 1: One, am I not helping?
Speaker 2: No, you're not.
Speaker 3: You're interrupting in our absence. We are going to drop
all ten episodes and then some extra content where we
were talking to some of those weirdos on that cast,
Oh my god, and that would be there to fill
in our absence.
Speaker 2: So enjoy.
Speaker 1: Also, we should say we don't remember what we said.
It was on Patreon. It's probably rude. Buyer beware.
Speaker 2: That's right. If you choose to listen, that's on you do.
Speaker 1: I look homeless right now? No, your hair is crazy?
But is it crazy? I loved this episode you did.
I feel like we're really producing here right. So, while
there's a tendency sometimes in reality TV to build the
sandbox and step away, we don't. You can't really do that.
You have to still produce, right, Sending v hum, sending
Gale in, bringing Scott in, a lot of fun things,
a lot of fun you know how Donkey Kong throws
the bar. Yeah, a little bit like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think what you're saying, Dylan like as a writer,
more thrilling stuff, like Steven Spielberg with Jurassic Park. He's
not just gonna have a t Rex like flip the
you know that jeep thing over. As the jeep flips over,
He's gonna have mud sand like flow in through the windows.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's that extra level of danger.
Speaker 1: Extra level of danger and a contrary to that kind
of the antipathy of that is one of the shows
that we've been talking about a lot. It's actually pluribus
wherein I mean it's essentially just eight hours of nothing
really happening.
Speaker 3: Several people went on rants, It's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Seven pots for pluribis, six pots for pluribis, ninety pots
for this episode.
Speaker 3: Wow, I should mention out of the gate. Thank you
the Barnacles that sent me the article that Cameron, the
current guest on this current charter, has been indicted on
federal charges.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I guess he's been ripping a lot of people off. Ah,
he may not even be a former NFL player.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. I mean, this the whole thing's
in flux now, and we should say rest in peace,
Rob Reiner, and also happy Hanukah to all all uj's
out there.
Speaker 3: You know, Princess Bride, I went to go see that
one of my first dates. I got to touch my
first pair of boobies. Oh really, and you know what,
she kept wanting to kiss me, you know, the with
the tongue. I was more into that film than making out.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a fantastic film, you know. Mandy Tinken is
terrific in it. Andre the Giant was still alive when
they made that movie, you know, barely. That's kind of crazy, Kaylen.
How long did Andre the Giant live when he died?
When he was like thirty two or something?
Speaker 2: I know, you think he was a lot older.
Speaker 1: He did when he was forty six. Oh, that's a
kid stretch for a giant.
Speaker 2: John Candy, you're not gonna believe this. It was something
like forty three.
Speaker 1: Oh wow?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, gosh, Hey how about it was forty three?
You're right? Thanks? How about Chris? When you think about
forty three, John Candy, that's insane. How about Chris? Uh woah,
come on, Davy, who's that guy?
Speaker 1: Chris something, Chris farr Arley. Yeah, that's how you're remembering
the great Chris Farley. Yes, sorry, apology, think about it.
I'm gonna think about that.
Speaker 2: I don't even think he made his force.
Speaker 1: And everybody go watch Sorry baby, it's so good, all right,
all right, all.
Speaker 3: Right, thoughts you mentioned V. Wasn't it hilarious?
Speaker 1: Speaking of thirty three? Everybody go play Claire Obscure Expedition
thirty three. I mean, it's just amazing, It's amazing.
Speaker 3: Wasn't it funny that V was sent home right right
before the Sea Rats get two days off? That seems
kind of ridiculous to me. I think she would have
been able to weather the emotional storm and just sleep
on her bunk. Instead, she gets two days off to
go weep in a hotel.
Speaker 2: Well, the Sea Rats are away. Of course, Joe the
Hole will play.
Speaker 1: Well, perhaps not weep, perhaps, you know. I mean, what
would you do in Barcelona if you were stuck in
a hotel room. I know exactly what you'd do. You'd
order cheeseburgers, You'd watch forensic files. You'd probably pleasure yourself
to some kind of online pornographic imagery, which is a sin,
but you'd have a good time.
Speaker 3: You're talking about the entire decade of the Cots for
this podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know, I do want to say this.
Speaker 3: Words are the wise for the Sea Rats with Cameron
getting indicted in all that. I hope they spent that
Karen Cameron. I hope they spent that tip money because
if the FBI, you know, comes sniffing around looking for
that cast, well they for them. It's pretty easy. They
just will say I spent it at the bar. The
FBI says which bar, They'll say all.
Speaker 1: Of them, right, right? Or I have no idea?
Speaker 2: Yeah, fourteen pots.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the episode. What an episode
it was. Last we left off, we were in prime
real estate for Kizzy and the Ultimate Fighter to possibly kiss,
although it does not happen, flirting with a charter guest
with zero intention of kissing them in any way, shape
or form. This podcaster, I would say that's bad Sea
Rat tactic because while the tip was fine, it was fine,
you know, if Kizzy kept it a little professional and
not you know, I just I can't stand when people
do this. Right, men, women, what are you doing fucking
drawing someone in with your fumes.
Speaker 3: She likes the attention dude got played, David. I suspect
you know better than.
Speaker 1: This, David. David took a couple too many jabs to
the to the noggin, you know what I mean. I mean,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: By the way she is picked out by him and
like throws him under the bus very quickly.
Speaker 1: Totally. He's got so much swag. In the beginning the episode,
prior to this and this one, he's fawning. You can't
fawn no, no.
Speaker 3: No, Well, so, anyway, as we had predicted, there is
no kiss, and she says, hey, we're finally alone except
for the dude with the dadbod holding a camera six
feet from you.
Speaker 1: Not even a dad bod, he's just fat. He's taking
up a tremendous amount of space. So it's really crazy
for her to say we're alone now.
Speaker 3: Well, not only that, but the other dude holding the
ginormous boom mic over both of them. And then there
is in fact video village which is on the other
side of the boat with three people looking at the
videos exactly.
Speaker 1: It's very very odd. I think, now, who sings that
Tiffany Tiffany?
Speaker 2: Well, actually, no, Originally I believe.
Speaker 1: She the one that performs at the Chili cookoffs. Oh yeah,
she gets shit faced? Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, okay, uh. I would have said, actually,
never mind, I'll forget that.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Well, I was gonna say Jesse breaks up with David
and she's so happy when he goes to bed. This
one's a real black widow. I don't trust her. And Tommy,
I hope you didn't see this episode.
Speaker 1: When you say black widow, When people refer to things
as black widows, there's often this implication that it's tempting, Right,
it's something that draws you in. I guess maybe it's
the web. Is that that it? Because every time I
see a black widow, I get scared. I run. There's
nothing tempting about it.
Speaker 3: Well, if you've never been killed by a hot chick before,
you don't know what's coming.
Speaker 1: No, I've never been killed by one. So Kizzy heads
in and she begins instantaneously to flirt with Joe, now
buried the lead. This episode is really fantastic because on
display are two gigantic pieces of shit. Right, So Kizzy
and Joe. Now Kizzy is a young woman, right, Joe
is a little bit older, so I'm gonna put not
that we need to put on a ses or on
a size on one or the other, but I would
put my own a sigh on Joe a little bit more.
But she heads in and immediately starts flirting with Joe.
She says, I attract emotional men, and he says that's me, okay,
and then Joe the hoe, you absolute slut. Okay. Kizzy
is all a kissy. Okay. So this is the this
is the dialogue. Okay, ready, okay, pat, just give me
a second. I'm struggling a little bit, Okay, just give
me a sex.
Speaker 3: I had a rough one a couple of weeks ago,
which essentially rendered me sober.
Speaker 1: And that's a bummer. Because the holidays are upon us.
It's not a time to be sober. This is a
time to slug back buzzballs and slug back more buzzballs.
Speaker 2: In twenty twenty six, I'll be better, Okay.
Speaker 1: So Kizzie says, I attract emotional men. Joe the host
says that's me, Kizzie, free spirit. Kizzie says, you got
wiped up, you idiot. I do not like these two.
This is a really really rude, mean conversation towards me.
Speaker 2: Okay, there is no girl code with Kizzie.
Speaker 3: Now you should know that Joe the Hole went on
Watch What Happens Live after this episode. He basically said
he got the ick a case of ick with Kizzie
on this boat.
Speaker 2: How dare you? Joe the Hoe? And he didn't even
get booed for it. Now I must ask you this.
Speaker 1: Joe, what is krusty on this It's like there's come
on this chair.
Speaker 2: Oh it's probably milk.
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, we did a home alone movie with with
with some family friends in here.
Speaker 1: God, kids are so disgusting.
Speaker 2: Well they really are.
Speaker 1: Lucy's eating and it's just like watching a goddamn nat
Gio documentary every time. I mean, it's adorable.
Speaker 2: But yeah, oh I was gonna say this.
Speaker 3: So there's a teaser later on in the season where
we see Joe the home making out with Kathy.
Speaker 1: Correct what yeah for sure?
Speaker 3: Okay, so one of two things needs to happen for
that to be able to happen. Either that would have
to mean that Max gets fired because he's going to
lose his shit.
Speaker 1: Oh right, right, right right? Yeah, yeah, or v leaves
the boat Max. Max is one hundred percent gonna get fired.
That's what I think too, because Gail's there. So we
get to the next day. Max is it icking out,
Kathy speaking of icking out, and he's also moaning, and
Sandy is worried about the bow thrusters and the tight
slip and the America's cup and who gives a shit? Hey,
I have a question. Did we see a crash in
the trailer of this season? Did we don't even talk
about it?
Speaker 3: Okay, I agree, and once again manufactured drama that we
do not need.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: The crucial component of the vessel to prevent everyone dying is,
in fact.
Speaker 1: The life vest the thruster.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, he can't park the damn boat unless the
thruster is working right, So make sure it works.
Speaker 2: Come on, dummies.
Speaker 1: Now we get to Max, who is still pissed off
about the corruption that he's witnessed aboard this vessel. He's
like a young congressman, you know, he got passed up
for a committee seat. He's like, I can't believe this,
this is disgusting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he resents Nate and Joe the Hoe, and I
would tell Max wait till Joe the Hoe makes up
with your girlfriend.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be really pissed.
Speaker 1: Right right right, Smell my fingers as you would so
often say I would.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, you skipped over one thing. Va he is
still grieving. Yes, okay, So this is workplace crying. Now,
Anna Winter. You know they're making a sequel to the day.
Dana Winter's bitch, that's right, played by Meryl Streep, and
I love the Devilwares product, and they are currently filming
the sequel.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't mean her character in the movie. I
just mean in real life just a bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and Jeneral, but you know those are tough bosses,
but we call that an empowered boss.
Speaker 2: Dylan okay, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So my wife worked at a modeling agency and when
one of the girls had a tough day with her
boyfriend and we'd be crying, the boss was like, Anna Winter,
She say go outside with that, go outside right right right?
So that doesn't take place on these pots.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just a quick just bookend what a bitch
and a Winter is. So she wears a lot of
animal furs, right, and when there are people protesting it,
she sent down I think cheeseburgers to them or something
which is very very funny. That's hilarious. But the real
thing that she did, the true crime was legitimizing the
Kardashian family, putting them on the cover of Vogue and
making us all think these chopped up, fucking Calabasis rats
were real people. You know, it's disgusting, guys. The holidays
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Speaker 3: Well, meanwhile, David has to explain to his boys how
he lived and lost and how he got played by
that attention.
Speaker 2: Free spare yeah, free spirit.
Speaker 3: And I would also say that Kizzy understands you know,
as we went out with some of the former casts
a blowdeck, we were talking about how some of the
cast members akac rats really understand how this all works,
and some of them understand how camera time works. Yeah,
Kizzy clearly understands how the game's played. The more that
she taes the ca that she was actually gonna make
out with this knucklehead, the more the camera followed.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, no, No, she's good. She's good. Now Nathan and
Max have quite a little dust up, and Nathan's done
with this guy, Maximilian Rubespierre whatever his name is. Nathan
wants to drop the guillotine on him, but Sandy's got
the text flying and here I thought she was sending
a text to replace Max, but it was not. It
was to replace V for a short time. Let's get
to the tip though. Oh yeah, twenty K twenty large.
Speaker 2: Sixte not good, not bad. They don't really talk shit
about it B minus.
Speaker 1: But the big news is that tomorrow they're going to
the Alghini Racing Team headquarters and we get a real weird,
fucking weird Armageddon team photo walk up. Okay, like they're
going to what are they doing Armageddon? What do they
drill to the core of the of the asteroid and
they blow it up. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that's what they try and do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they hire a bunch of miners, you know,
uh huh, yeah, and they with a bunch of astronauts.
Speaker 1: To say that movie sucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't like it.
Speaker 1: When you get to the asteroid, it's all in the
ship's it's like a forty minutes to just a shaky
ship for like forty minutes.
Speaker 3: You know what's funny is uh Neil is it? Neil
degrass Tyson. Yeah, he has fun going through sci fi
movies and kind of like breaking down the game film
right whether or not they're realistic. He mocks that one
as being one of the most stupid ones ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: One that I thought he was gonna give like an
A plus two was Gravity with Sandra Bullock.
Speaker 1: Oh he hated that one.
Speaker 2: Well, no, he liked it.
Speaker 3: But he made one really good point which I actually caught.
Is when George Clooney is tethered to Sandra Bullock and
he goes flying off into space.
Speaker 2: Uh huh, and he's just like going, going, going.
Speaker 3: All she literally needed to do is just tug one
little tug back and he just would.
Speaker 2: Have come back.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, well she wanted him to die.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: So. I love Neil de grass Tyson because he's a
super relatable facts that really kind of condense and understanding
of the universe.
Speaker 5: Where he goes, you know, well, you want to hear
an interesting fact. A neuron star is ten million to
the ten millionth exponent denser, then a sugar cube. Okay,
thank you, Neil. I don't know what the fuck you're
talking about.
Speaker 1: I can't stand that. God. Okay, cool. We have to
get to Max's grandfather. My favorite part of the episode
was Max comparing the subversion he was sewing aboard this
vessel to his grandfather fighting the Nats.
Speaker 2: It's a wonderful moment. It's a wonderful man. Okay. So,
and he kind of refers to his genes when they.
Speaker 1: Do right, right, right, So the French resistance is in
his genes. His grandfather resisted the Nazis, he's resisting Nate.
Speaker 2: That's right. So let's break down some c rat history here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, great, and by the way, great tactic him
being rebellious to Nate and almost crashing the boat. It's
really going to work out for him, so we get
a little ancestry dot com. As it turns out, his
grampy fought off those Nazis with Molotov.
Speaker 1: Cocktails the crowds.
Speaker 3: Yeah, al right, which is great except for the part
where the Nazis swiftly crutch crush the resistance.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It occupied France for five full years. Yeah, until the
Allied forces were able to free them. Anyway, he got
those genes running through him, and now instead of throwing
Molotov cocktails, he just throws back cocktails.
Speaker 1: The and Yeah, and really cool fun history podcast if
you want to Tucker Carlson sitting down with some really
cool people talking about how we should have sided with
Hitler and stuff like, Wow, that's really cool. It's Twitter's
awesome because it's just a lot of alternative history that
we're just too stupid to understand. Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, I've been offering some advice to some people
out there, which is turn off your computer and listen
to some music too.
Speaker 1: We're happier. Then. Oh, I got a guy to show you.
I'm so late to this McGhee. You know McGhee music.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got listen to McGee for years.
Speaker 1: Oh my God, he works with a lot of people. Unbelievable.
Speaker 3: I think he did a track and he was on
Saturday Night Live like like six months ago.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, oh yeah he was. You know what, Sorry,
I know we need to get going. I saw that promo.
You know, the little shorts they run.
Speaker 2: They aren't funny. Yeah, it's crazy, so they should not
even try.
Speaker 1: So Bill Burr is in this promo, right, and we'll
get back to the show. And it's like Bill Burr
is on this promo and he's with Sarah, the kind
of kooky Long Island girl, and McGee's standing there, just
a reclusive, fucking broomstick and they're promoing the show and
Sarah's going, oh, stop and he's like, what are you
talking about? And she goes, sorry, I'm talking to Mickey
Rourke and Bill Burr's like, you're talking to Mickey? I
want to talk to him. And then that's the end
of the promo. I'm like, can you imagine making Bill
Burr do that? Essen? Can you imagine making him stand
there and do that? You got to see it. It's
one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't see a stand about the Hollywood Bowl.
Speaker 1: I did, I didn't. I did attempt to. I walked
around the Hollywood Bowl for three hours. They wouldn't let me. Okay,
So we get to veganing called up to the bridge.
He's given the charter off, and it's good that she
can go to someone who really cares about her, that
being Joe the hoe. She walks in and really leans on,
somebody who's completely supportive of her getting the fuck away
from him. Okay. He says in his OTF that this
comes at a perfect time because he's already had sex
with her. He's so gross, dude. Okay, you know what's crazy,
Dylan and Joe, if you're listening, No, I.
Speaker 2: Don't give a jerk off.
Speaker 1: Off. People go through phases, okay, but the the sex
addict treating women like shit thing, it gets very old,
very fast. You've got to grow out of here and
hold on.
Speaker 3: I when a girl is in this position, just just
walk away.
Speaker 2: You don't need to trick her.
Speaker 1: Her boyfriend just died, dude, and you sent a picture
of her to your mom, who you will FaceTime and
cry with later.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, She'll still have sex with you if
you just go. I don't want anything with you. It
will be a drunken night and it will just be
a blow off, some steam kind of thing. You don't
need to say that your mom wants to meet her.
Speaker 1: It's like so crazy. So V heads to the girls
and says, take care of my guy, and we get
an OTF with Kizzie rolling her eyes. Now this is
movie magic, right, who knows? But Kizzie has no girl code.
So we hit the town. Kizzie's trying to solve the
Kizzie puzzle.
Speaker 2: Oh, I can help.
Speaker 1: Her with this. I'm very nervous about this.
Speaker 2: Now, Okay.
Speaker 3: So j Z tells us she's still trying to figure
herself out, right, and she's much more complicated than one
might think that.
Speaker 2: She said that her words not mine, and I have
to say not really.
Speaker 3: Your need for constant attention from the opposite sex is
more likely. It stems from loneliness, insecurity, or past experiences.
Speaker 2: Or in fact all three.
Speaker 3: You were more than likely rejected or harshly criticized as
a child, and now attention is a coping mechanism to
shield your deep rooted pain. You can begin to heal
with genuine, caring relationships with friends and coworkers while taking
a break from random hookups and dating. Yeah, give me
thirty dollars now.
Speaker 1: Too long? Didn't read boring? I mean, my god, how
many fucking times? And listen, it's not her fault. We're
all we all fit into the same thirteen archetypal buckets.
You know, nobody's that interesting. All right. So Kathy's boobs
are out but also not and they're in address, And
that was cray. That was a cool garment? Am I
being gross right now at all? I really am not
trying to be a pig. It was a fascinating.
Speaker 2: Tall boobs and strikes.
Speaker 1: I'm just calling to try. I'm just calling to try
boobs and strikes. Okay. It was a fascinating garment that
was doing a lot of heavy lifting. Okay. So we
get to dinner. Asia talks about how she misses Scott's snoring,
and this triggers what I'm gonna call a seasoned sea
rats panic. Okay. Now, most sea rats have this panic.
It drives them to the bottle, right, it drives them
to orifice's foreign and familiar. Asia's panic is not really
a panic, It's more of a mindful planning ahead. She
wants to have babies. You can't deal with Craven or
whatever this guy's name is, This goddamn fraud that's on
the boat, right, You can't deal with the gays that
are about to come aboard next time and shit in
the shower when you're got a baby in you. You
just can't do it.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, Dylan, We've seen this.
Speaker 3: When we first made friends with k Chastain, Queen of
the Sea, she was kind of given similar feelings towards this.
Speaker 2: It was time to exit the business.
Speaker 3: It had run its course, right, Hannah Fierra, He of
course was not making this decision. It was made for
her immediately being cast away back to be a land animal.
She then had a baby.
Speaker 1: Right. We got to talk to Hannah about that whole thing,
because she was it was like an episode of the Wire.
They planned drugs on her, or they didn't. She was
just doing the drug. Okay, all right, So let's get
to Joe who get Okay, Gary King is bad. I'm
not saying that Joe is Gary King, but I don't
think he's that far off. Here is Joe the Hoe,
fresh off the departure of a girl. He has been
waxing poetic.
Speaker 3: To Dylan, it was like she was the one that
got run over by a steamroller in the water.
Speaker 1: She's dead, She's dead. Okay, that was insensitive though, but
you get what he's saying. She is so not even
in the fucking perview. Is that the right word?
Speaker 2: Perview?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Within his sightline, it's so gross.
Speaker 1: The kiss is gross. The flirting all night is even
grosser to me, I mean, what are you doing, dude?
Speaker 3: Essentially they're on a date right from go like, it's
so fun pulling out the chair, yeah.
Speaker 2: Walking her to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: He says, this is a battle between what I want
and what I don't want, which is just an insane
way of phrasing that. But we wind our way down
in the evening and Joe and Kizzy reveal themselves to
be the pieces of shit that they are. Uh they
kiss aboard the vessel and then pretend as though one
of them took a spill or something.
Speaker 3: Well, they try and hide from the cameras because they're aware,
very aware.
Speaker 1: Where they too aggressive?
Speaker 2: No, I mean they're young idiots. Yeah, they're young day,
I mean I don't really care.
Speaker 1: Can you look up Kaylen, how how old is Joe
the Hoe. I don't think he's a piece of shit.
Speaker 2: You'll be able to find that.
Speaker 3: But I would say I would guess he's in his
early thay piece of shit.
Speaker 1: Is a little too aggressive.
Speaker 3: I apologize, yeah, but I know, but when you mess
with people's uh and not like I haven't, but they
were girlfriends that I you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but uh, this is the problem.
Speaker 2: This seems to be a regular pattern with him, is.
Speaker 1: My point exactly. And and the the reason why I'm
escalating it to piece pos is because of who he's
doing it too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my point.
Speaker 1: Right. So let's say Gary the Midget, his boyfriend passed
away underwater, some terrorist attack underwater, right, and uh, he
found you, and a year later, and upon the wake
of his his late boyfriend passing or the year anniversary,
you decide to go out. That's not a problem, right,
And there was two It took too long to say that.
But everybody who listens to this podcast knows that. What
is it?
Speaker 3: Greg the Midget, Bob the ga Dwarf, Bob no, no, no,
but Dylan no, Dylan.
Speaker 1: Ay.
Speaker 3: I have an exact mirror example of this. I was
at Laurel Tavern, my favorite watering hole. It was probably
two months before I met Shari. It's two girls are out.
One was celebrating the passing of her beloved husband that
had passed away a week to the year. Whatever, we
get drinking, we're mixing around. I don't talk too much
about the husband. I don't care about that. Anyway, we're
ripping it up. We end up staying up till two.
They both of them come back to my place. My buddy,
It hooks up with the other girl. I hook up
with her.
Speaker 2: Just a good time, right, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Right, But you know, and did we find owl Joe
the Hooei is From what I'm seeing so far, it
seems like he's around twenty nine right now, Okay, but
that's not confirmed. But that's what it's all right, So
that's you know, you got to cut this out by
thirty three, and everybody should play Expedition thirty three. So
Max makes vigorous love to Kathy, so vigorous in fact,
that he is drinking like a camel. But we get
to the next morning.
Speaker 3: Well, well, hold on, hot tub, everyone goes to bed
and kiss. He tells Joe they should go to bed
before they fall in love. It sounds like something Humphrey
Bogard would say before he slapped a woman.
Speaker 2: All Right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You better get out of here, miss before we fall
in love. I came here to get away from it all,
and here you are waltzing back into my life. I
hit you for that. And then he does, he smacks
her in the face.
Speaker 2: I get out of here.
Speaker 1: And then after that they do make love, and she
carries his child, who he abandons, and.
Speaker 3: They both take up a really really bad drinking.
Speaker 1: Probably oh yeah, oh definitely, And to compensate for the
fatigue they feel, they start getting into methamphetamines. Then one
of them passes and it's revealed that the child of
those two was the one making the film the whole time.
Wow right, okay, so Joe doesn't remember what happened the
night before.
Speaker 3: Now this is a funny thing about sea rats that misbehave.
They have quite the foggy memory the next morning, and
it's like it's like that technology from the movie Total Recall.
Speaker 2: They don't even recall the night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Arnold's like I forgot. He's like a vampire. When
I do. Arnold is like vampire. So you know, I
was watching Terminator too recently. That poor guy. Can you
imagine how scary that evening would be. You're just at
home with your wife and your child, and in first off,
fucking what's her name? Linda, Linda Hamilton, Linda Hamilton shoots
like seven hundred fucking rounds into your living room and
then this giant Austrian guy comes and rips his hand off.
It's like, way too much.
Speaker 2: You're talking about part two?
Speaker 1: Right? Huh?
Speaker 3: How about the poor woman that's got uh, what's the
young kid's name in the movie, John Connor? John Connor's
sitting there. They're looking after him like there is adopted parents.
Next thing you know, someone's got a fucking metal sword
through your head and the milk carton all right, right, right, wo.
Speaker 2: That's a tough way to go.
Speaker 1: That's a really tough way to go. And Linda Hamilton,
now I don't mean to speak on aesthetics too much.
It's like she has cotton balls in the back of
her jaw, you know what I mean. It's just such
a strong jaw. Yes, very very very strong strong woman.
Speaker 3: Back when that movie came out, she had worked out
for like six months to get in shape.
Speaker 2: For that movie.
Speaker 1: Caitlin. Did she take steroids? I don't think so, but
she had a hell of a trainer. Okay, so we
head to the Allegheny headquarters. In Cupid Sandy Strikes. This
is really really sweet. They're shown the simulator and who
is manning the machine, but the scott Man himself shown
to be a wild man. Actually we saw him doing
one of those stupid parachute by cliff side things. Yeah, heysha,
I gotta tell you, yachting. Maybe I don't want to
say this got knock on wood, but you got a
pretty good chance of hitting the side of the mountain
and actually dying that.
Speaker 2: I've been meaning to talk to Kermit about this. I'm
sure I'll reach out.
Speaker 3: You should probably take out like a three million dollar
life and shot big time and then show him videos
of those people that like to do be flying.
Speaker 2: Raccoons, you know what I mean. Yeah, the death ratio
on that I think.
Speaker 1: Is one eventually. Okay, So back to Kizzie and Joe thing.
She spills the beans on the way back and then says,
I don't regret it. Maybe pos is right because Kizzie
is a real piece of work. Now, Joe calls his mom,
him saying I don't remember is a pussy move, and
then the crocodile tears. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go
with crocodile tears, and if they are real, I don't
even care, right because you're a.
Speaker 2: Hoe, Joe, the hoe. I know you know the cameras
are there.
Speaker 3: This was clearly for us to give you some sympathy
because you feel like you're regretful about your actions e
working on this podcast.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not. This is like I mean, this is
essentially like Steve Harvey.
Speaker 2: You gottah no number one answer.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's move on. So we get to the night
out Night two Max Loves Love and Joe tells Nathan
I did it, and he doesn't sound like Michael Cocaine,
but he does say I did it, and we head out.
We get to the restaurant where Nathan and Gail fell
in love. Okay, now Nathan is in a really cool
hat and he's getting swept up. In between the hat
and the nostalgia and the flamenco, he realizes he's in
love with the hottest girl he'll ever be able of
getting in his entire life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not only is time moving fast, hair follicles are
falling out of your hand.
Speaker 1: You don't need to do that every time.
Speaker 2: Man, it's like every other show.
Speaker 1: Okay, Sea rets listen, dude, Okay, I think Nate's I
think Nate's great. Okay, I do too.
Speaker 2: He seems like he's learning nice.
Speaker 1: Hey, not Joe the He doesn't do that Ship or Max.
Speaker 2: He's an idiot. By the way, Max had said.
Speaker 3: Max had said he was going to keep it quiet
that him and uh Kathy had had sex.
Speaker 2: The second he gets in the van, he tells everybody
shagged her, and he didn't use the word shagged.
Speaker 1: No. He not only is he not like quiet about it,
he says Kathy's great because she just reminds me to
keep fucking her and not to worry about anything but
fucking her. It's like, okay, Jesus Christ. So we the
love of Scott Naisha, Yes, all of it. We head
back to bed and Max walks into Kathy's rooms. She's
got a face mask on and he says, are you
robbing to plan a bank? So we get to the
next day.
Speaker 2: Well, Joe gets a text from v She says she
misses him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, very sweet. Now, he's gonna tell V what
happened between him and Kizzie, and Kizzie says, do not
do it, Kizzy, you I'm trying to like, I don't
know what you would equate it to, but like quit, well,
you're definitely not ahead, Like, just stop making it worse?
Speaker 2: Can I say something?
Speaker 3: If I am her friend and his friend, don't bother
tell her either, because this relationship is so meaningless, right,
don't bother?
Speaker 1: Right? But so what the tricky part about this is
that also meaningless is the relationship between Joe and V.
That's meaningless too right for me.
Speaker 3: It's it's like right on par with uh, you know,
saving Private Ryan when Ryan you know, uh, they didn't
tell him that his other four brothers had been killed
because they didn't want to stress him out.
Speaker 1: It's just like that, I would say, so, and you
know Matt Damon was great.
Speaker 2: So we did you know that Steven Spielberg hates Ben Affleck?
Speaker 1: Does he really? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I heard an inside story today where a director had
a call with Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck says, I want
that movie. I know it's not even fully written yet.
I'm in the producer. Guy called Spielberg says, hey, we
got Ben ben Affleck on board. Spielberg, Girls, I don't
like him at all.
Speaker 2: It's not happening. He's like, what's up, Stephen.
Speaker 3: He goes, he's not good to my family, and I
think he's a horrible actor and his last two films failed.
Speaker 1: Whoa Steven Spielberg hates Ben Affleck more than Tarantino hates
Paul Dana. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: Sorry, you were wrapping up.
Speaker 1: So we head up to the crow's nest and Sandy says, hey,
Nate got a good idea.
Speaker 2: I'd love producers.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be bringing a new deckhand on the hottest
person you'll ever be with Gail, And we end the
episode with her getting out of the van draping the comments.
Let us know what we thought about the episode. We
got one more? I think, yeah, one more and then
and then we'll see you in twenty twenty six.
Speaker 3: Let's they drop one like on New Year's even like
they've done that to us before.
Speaker 1: Dylan, Let's see what happens. Pagroon dot com slash another
podcast network. We hope you guys have a lovely holiday season.
Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for listening
help us get roged. We love you very much. I'm Dylla.
Say goodbye, Pat, Say goodbye.