Speaker 1: It's here, the fourth installment of the greatest adventure ever
told for the medium of podcast and then comic book.
That's right. Ubhs and Dragons presents Chronicles of Calamity Issue
four on Indiegogo now. Now that our heroic team are assembled,
it's time for them to face off against their most
deviant opponent yet, their own ineptitudes and also a demon horse.
Funding now on Indiegogo. With amazing art and almost as
much laughter as there is Gore, Chronicles of Calamity brings
you a hyper violent crescendo that you will not want
to miss. Have no idea what I'm talking about. Missed
out on the first three issues, Finn not wastrel. We're
offering all four issues in digital format. That's right to
the digital. But if you fear technology, as you should,
we've got gobs of physical holding your hands perks available,
gobs of them. I tell you go to indy Gogo
now to see what ethereal delights await here. Chronicles of Calamity.
The legend doesn't shut up. This is not don't expect
to be pots on your life. Sit down. Let's turn
a stray from the dotail man, because you'll find no
be survived. Side courast Hi Aeron, Welcome to side Quest.
The in between adventures subadventure is what's adventurous about them?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a conversation, Maybe it's a guest, Maybe we
play another game. Maybe we get all judgmental on people
on the internet. Maybe that, and by we I do,
of course, me and myself, Steve Weaverell, rickwil Terry and M. K.
Gibson Gibbie.
Speaker 2: Hello, hey, everybody ready to be judgmentalist?
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, I'm tired of not being judgmental? Thank you
very much. Actually, Internet all this don't judge me stuff. No,
that's what I'm here for.
Speaker 3: No, that's what the Internet exists for. It's more than
judgment So that's why.
Speaker 1: We've done that.
Speaker 2: The second somebody says not to be judgmental, you know
some judgment ship is coming exact.
Speaker 3: Did you ever hear the joke about look left, look right,
and then you know whatever's coming next is not gonna
be good or it's gonna be great.
Speaker 1: So the best possibly the best?
Speaker 2: Uh Yeah.
Speaker 1: Too many people on the Internet getting away with being
themselves and I'm sick of it, so give especially what
about myself?
Speaker 3: I don't want to get paid for it.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I guess.
Speaker 3: I wish I'd had more moxier charisma to like get
paid for being myself. Unfortunately this isn't it.
Speaker 2: So I fu charisma. I want to be better looking.
I want I want to have those good looks where
I don't need a personality. I just show up, rip
my shirt off, and I give a million followers.
Speaker 1: I thought that's what charisma was.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh the hot tip for you people who want to
be a success on the internet be pretty.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because the moment we all found out Chris Hemsworth could
actually tell a joke, I think that was it. I'm
fuck that guy. You're tall, you're beautiful, and you're funny.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, it's overkill. You don't have to do that, mate,
you're trying to do She's what kind of child that
you'd have? You good looking idiot?
Speaker 3: What do they do in Australia to make you better
than us?
Speaker 1: But yeah, speaking of good looking people, I believe this
this uh, today's judgment is going to be laid on
the D and D community, historically the most handsome of people.
Speaker 3: So without a doubt, what you got it? I mean
we all play the There was a time where Steve
and I were kicking around ideas what should we do
for a side quest? And we're like, we're looking at
all these people, these these there's these YouTube channels that
just exist to read Reddit posts. That's reading someone else's
work and getting credit for it and subs and followers,
and we're like, that's goddamn brilliant. I wish we had
thought of that like eight years ago.
Speaker 1: So yeah, not as per usual, I've come onto an
idea about a decade too late. Yeah, I hate myself
too much to take it seriously. So we're gonna get well.
Way is the premises. I am I the asshole butt
for Dungeons.
Speaker 3: Dungeons and Dragons. So I scoured. I did exactly what
we said. I scoured some internet stuff. I found basically,
am I the asshole version of Dungeons and Dragon stories.
I'm gonna try to keep these. I tried to find
short ones so we can get multiple inhering comic, because
I don't like thirty minute long reads and then stopping
to have a conversation, because that's that's miserable. So we'll
start off with a I think this one's been done
on other sites before, but I saw it. It's too
good to skip, so let me let me walk You
gentlemen too. This am I the asshole for for not
letting my dungeons, dragons players run a horse brothel. I'm
the dreaming exactly, I wished to learn more. Go on,
God damn chef. I'm the DM for a party of nine, so,
needless to say, things get a little hectic when my
parties Drewid came up with the idea to get to
get them some easy coin. I was caught off guard.
My party made it to the largest city my Homebrew world,
and the Druid asked me if there was a lot
of people in the city who had been the market
uh interested in a brothel the brothel service, And naturally
I said yes. It's a big city, so assuming he's
just gonna run a standard brothel, he instead offered to
work in the brothel for a day, assuring the owner
maximum prophet with the high charisma role. The owner agreed
and gave my Druid a room to use for the night.
The Druid then revealed his hand. This whole time he
planned on using his conjure animals in combination with wild
shape to some of the militia of horses with the
sole purpose of pleasuring the freaks of my city. This
shook me to my core. After almost an hour of
arguing with my players, who all jumped on the bandwagon
against me, my druid told me he was quote putting
his hoof down and was and I was ruining his fun.
He said, if I didn't let him get that bag,
he would permanently leave the campaign. Still I refuse, and
he stomped out of the room and later blocked my
phone number, ending a six year friendship. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2: All right? Number one?
Speaker 1: I heard of horses in a room that's in practical.
Number two, can't fucked by a herd of horses. He's
just gonna die. I don't care how fantastical this scenario is.
Number three, I just want to say, right up front,
don't fuck animals?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: He did all three of those statements.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like, oh, it's just a fantasy, realm.
It's like, yeah, okay, it's a fantasy.
Speaker 2: You know. I'm gonna also go home as DM. You're
the guiding hand, not like you know, not the iron
glove of like you know of of railroading your players,
it's a living horses, Yeah, exactly, It's a living, breathing world.
And if part of that living and breathing involves a
horse cock in your mouth, then well you kind of
have to let it.
Speaker 1: Have difficult to breath of a horse cooking.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's like it's not just saying being penetrated
by a horse, but there's also penetrating the horse.
Speaker 2: I feel.
Speaker 3: That's if you guys had pulled that in my in
my campaign, look at a cent, exactly what I would
have done to say, well, that is like about nine
thousand pounds of weight now standing in this creaky shitty
room and you fall through the floor to the road
levels below below you, and I would have ruined it
that way, like I'm not letting this happen, Like.
Speaker 2: Good on you. You know something the dice are king.
I'm I'm thinking you let that you you make that ruling,
one of us rolls a con and save gets a
net twenty and much horse fucking shoot ensues.
Speaker 1: I would have just said, in the basement, in this
fantasy realm, you have now invented super horse gunnery.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, see that's a better way of dealing it, like,
you know, rather than rather than well horse cock blocking
your players instead on the interesting consequences.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I might have created the basically this get
you created this the centaur zombie virus where now like
everyone like starts morphing in a centaur zombie some kind
some kind of like twenty eight days later scenario involving
horse semen.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't make it that fun giving and they
just have a horrible case of COCKRP for the rest
of that game. You just if you don't keep like,
you know, stucked on ointment, you're just continuously rolling at disadvantage,
taking two D six necrotic damage or nicotic damage.
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, I might have a roll where, like,
you know, the horses get too into it, you wind
up with a case of horse cocky and which case
basically you have to roll the drown.
Speaker 3: So this is how we get demonetized right off the bat,
like seven minutes in. This is how it happens.
Speaker 2: But no, it's like you brought it up. It's oh,
I know, this was too good.
Speaker 3: This like this screamed our brand as soon as I
read this. I'm sure it's been read somewhere else, but man,
I needed our take on this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, here's a thing. The guy may
be a reacted so no, you definitely can't do that.
But then the guy blocked his number and never talked
to me. And that's somebody who was a little bit
too serious about horse fucking and I wasn't there at
the time, so I don't know the vibes.
Speaker 3: So maybe this guy so one sided story. I'm not
getting the Druids point of view. It's like, listen, man, Okay,
we all have little fantasies and a little bit of
horse fucking's perfectly natural.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I think the d M was kind of like, I
know this guy, and I know that he needs to
be kept on a leash and not in a fun way.
Speaker 2: He lives next to a stable and he's always talking
about how the barnyard animals are giving him the look.
Speaker 1: And I mean there's always a running joke on the
intero that in the moment that we've repeated on this
podcast a few times. It's like, oh, we don't kink shame,
Yeah we do, we do kink shame.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I don't believe in like hitting my kids or anything.
But one of them came up to me and say, oh, hey, Dad,
you know I've got a problem when I talk to
you about you know, it's kind of personally okay, I
can I can only get hard if somebody's wearing black face.
It's like at that point you have to punch the
kid right, right, because we do kink aim sometimes and
sometimes it's the right thing today.
Speaker 3: Something like when the kid comes to you says I
need to talk to you, Dad, you turn the you
turn the chair around or do the step over it
like Riker from Star Trek Ac Generations. I wrap with
me kid, and then you hear that crack like, well
that's all me for not going through your internet browser
enough checking your history for you.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's a weird world and I should have
protected you bad. This is somewhat unmade. But still I
am gonna have to slap you just to really drive
this message home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's one of those things worth. Yeah, if
they come out of the talk, it's like, Dad, I'm
coming out of the plaza all and stuff. That's one
thing they come to you and they're like, you know, Dad,
I crave horsecock. That's the point where you got to
be like, son, that's a little weird.
Speaker 3: Okay, well like it went straight to sun. You know,
it's gonna be a good close with the great kind
of thing. But it can also be like for dinner
question mark, because I can make that happen. He's just French.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be like a hustle music.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know what's worse. They showed up with
a beret and a back, aad and a scarf.
Speaker 2: I crave horsecock souvite.
Speaker 1: It's like a way, this is still an issue obviously,
and you might have to slap the kid.
Speaker 2: But yeah, but you know this is that in that
case it might lead to them being like top chef
at like a three Michelin star restaurant. You know who knows.
Speaker 1: I can't just imagine him recounting and it is. It is.
What's a biography? The day I told my father that hey,
I was suddenly French and be crave to us remarkably
patient man, and he hit me once.
Speaker 3: So yeah, uh Now I ran one of my own
homebrew games and I had a I had characters that
were like they ended up in a brothel. As things
tend to go and there was a centaur in that brothel,
and the female player playing a male wanted some of
that centaur d and I did. I didn't refuse them
because it would just I just let it happen. But
in a situation like this, where you're you're profiting off
of like conjuring horses and uh bctility prostitution, like I
think there's a line between centaur and horse. One can
consent and the other one just has a big weepy eye.
Speaker 1: You definitely have to sort of roll for that. Now,
there's no way you're getting away with that about some
kind of collateral damage.
Speaker 2: So I don't know this, but I will ask this.
You see, you brought up consent. Do horses if say
you walk into a random lake, you know, field inside
to just grab a random horse cock jacking it off,
do horses normally object to that?
Speaker 3: Well, as the enlightened species, I think you're supposed to say,
you know, maybe I shouldn't.
Speaker 2: The thing is right, I have no.
Speaker 1: Way of knowing. I mean, it's like, do you want
me to check you off? Nay? Oh that's another I guess.
Speaker 3: I could start randomly jerking. You often can get hard,
and you know like, like, don't make it weird, you know, like, no,
it's weird. It's not what you do, it's weird.
Speaker 1: Also, they'll probably kill you that big animal.
Speaker 2: Maybe that kill you after.
Speaker 1: Maybe they'll kill you if you don't. That's a weird
consent issue.
Speaker 2: A right.
Speaker 3: So for the sake of this, is this DM the
asshole for shutting this shit down.
Speaker 1: No, I get a bad feeling of the guy he's in.
I don't mind like dicey silly things happening, but oh yeah,
I have an entire fleet of horses to pleasure the
freaks in the town. So you mean you make just
you And it's obviously like a thing you've got because
he took it very seriously. And as much as everyone
has the right to their kink, you also have a
right not to be part of their weird little game
if it's going a bit too far. So I reckon
this is very much a vibe issue. I suspect he
made the right call, so I say, not an asshole.
Speaker 3: I agree, I say not an asshole.
Speaker 2: I am gonna dissent and say asshole, but not the
only asshole. I'll say. There was enough asshole to go around,
no matter how many horse came.
Speaker 3: All right, now, this one is a not nearly as entertaining,
but I still think we've got there's some gold to
mind from this. Am I the am I the asshole
for refusing my hang on? Am I the asshole? Play
refuses to create original character. This is from perspective of
the dungeon Master. I got some friends together to begin
a new homebrew campaign. After creating some homebrew classes and races,
my players begin to create their characters. Two of my
players created normal characters, but the third let's call him EL,
created an exact clone of Sam from the Sam and
Max games. The other players were understandably annoyed by this,
and I talked to L about creating another character. After
I asked him to change his character, he went on
a rant about how D and D isn't supposed to
be about having rules or how he should should or
should not play. He can be whatever his character wants.
We told him that they were fine with character that
they were playing, but at least you have to change
his name and the appearance and some of the similarities.
L refuse and asked me to show me the rules
where you couldn't be a pre existing character. I'm now
wondering if I'm being unreasonable reasonable about this and should
I just have let him play the character he wants.
Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1: First of all, D and D doesn't have rules. What
he's selling is those books. What's in those books?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 1: Just big let us saying have fun rules.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't, don't. Don't give Wizards of the Coast like
ideas for like, you know, for a sixth edition.
Speaker 3: There speaking of, I don't know if you've seen a
lot of things, but like the sales are really weird
right now, of whether it's the new Core rule book. Uh,
my perspective is you're someone wants to play that, you
need to come in and say, hey, I want to
play a copy of this beloved whatever character. Now I'm
not a Sam and Max fan, but if someone came
in and said, some emo kid came to my table
and said I want to make the Crow, I know
I got what I got to put up with, but
maybe I can should tell them this is not a
Crow game. You can play a revenant character who's got
white face and make up and act all emoi if
you want, but I'm not going to give you resurrection
powers and a bird following your own, but because someone
just wants to relive something they've already seen happens all
the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, let's be honest. I mean Arrow of
the Gods was basically, you know, a takeoff on like
the unlike Batman given, kind of an insane you know thing,
but you still fit it within, it still fits within
the story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of you can say that, it's kind
of an ongoing discussion. Really, it's like, you know, D
and D doesn't have to be medieval Europe or you know,
few feudal Japan, but you do need a kind of
very similitude for grounding it. You can't just say it's like, okay,
this is set in nineteen thirty Chicago. We're doing a
mobster thing, and then somebody say, okay, well I'm going
to play Buck Rodgers and it's like, no, you have
to make it work for the same otherwise it's just.
Speaker 3: It's it's kind of like an I no offense to
anybody who's listening who does this, but if you are
this person, fuck you. Stop wearing your Star Trek uniform
to the Renaissance Fair. Don't be that guy. Don't be
that guy.
Speaker 2: Personally find those those people pretty hilarious just for the.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm pointing like you fucking ass.
Speaker 1: I mean, at least it's a troll that makes sense
where we're doing, like mostly fantasy Europe, it's going to
be that.
Speaker 2: Kind of vibe.
Speaker 1: And somebody says, all right, well, I'm making Max from
Sam and Max, a nineties video game about a dog
detective and his psychotic partner. So hey, who the fuck
remembers Sam and Max? B Why does that belong in
the in the generally pretty lenient fantasy setting.
Speaker 2: It doesn't.
Speaker 1: It's just you can make a little you can make
a little rabbit man. Yeah, no one's going to bat
an eye.
Speaker 3: It that they're actually a character class now called the
hair Guns.
Speaker 1: You can be a hair gun to me, you can
call him Sam. But what you can't have is just say, oh,
and he's the guy from this video game, of all
these video game experiences, because that's it's a step too far.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's kind of it shows a lack of imagination. Like,
there's nothing wrong with an homage character. I've done it before,
I've seen other people do it before. You can have
a lot of fun with that and still make it
your own. But when you kind of show up and
basically you know, it's it's it's like like playing City
of Heroes and just blatantly making the Hulk and it's
nothing but the Hulk, and it's just like, Okay, dude,
that's cool, but what are you really bringing to the table.
Speaker 1: And you're missing an opportunity. You've got an opportunity to
be creative. The rules will force you to kind of
chip some edges off for what you want to be.
So you've got to make something like everybody knows what
you're doing, but you've made it your own. It kind
of forces you to make it your own, which you know,
have some fucking creativity. Yeah, it's a wonderful opportunity for
you to have fun and use your imagination, which you know,
if you're not doing that, why are you playing this game?
Speaker 2: You know? This is this is why there's this thing
called fanfic. You know, if you if you want your
fantasy of you being Max getting railed by Harry Potter
and like you know, and maybe be ganned off at
the same time, sit down and write that story. And
I'm going it on.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to stop. I'm gonna ask you to
stop going through my hard drive break but yeah, you're hard.
Speaker 3: Quit describing my fan I can only get so wrecked, man,
Please stop.
Speaker 2: No, Steve had, there's a time and place to do
that stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you can also just like you said, Steve said,
if you established this game is like we're doing a
tongue in cheek game when we're running the dicey bastards.
We knew right off the bat, like any sense I
wanted to do telling a real story went right out
the window the moment I was involved with the rest
of you people, so I knew, but lean into the
chaos on the particular thing. If you want to make
this as a recreate your your favorite whatever characters will
bringing to this campaign, and see what happens. It's a
fun it's a fun game. Great much. You know, the
DM and the players have to be honest with each
other open. That's part of the discussion, because it's not.
It's not just the DM's world. You know, a lot
of dms get that that god complex and a lot
of players get the I'm gonna just do my thing
and fuck everybody over complex with our main character complex,
which is just as bad.
Speaker 1: So mm yeah, but nobody as much as there are
an achronisms due to the comedy nature of Dicey bestars,
no one's coming in and like, yeah, I'm a hacker
from the Matrix. That's my character to feel like, Okay,
I mean, we probably could make that work. We make
a lot of stupid stuff work, but generally it's kind
of like, you know where you know what pool we're
in here, don't be a prick.
Speaker 2: About that could be an amusing character basically, you know,
my character's insane and he imagines he lives in the
twenty first century of this world where people walk around
talking into their phones and shit, yeah, there could be
a certain there could be a certain charm of that
and still making a fit in but yeah, it's yeah.
Speaker 1: If somebody just says I'm neo from the Matrix, so
it's like, no, you're not.
Speaker 3: Well, you guys are running the salty baszards. You know.
Metallic Exam definitely had a different perspective on life than
the rest of you all. You know, he played it
in such a way as fit in the world. Buddy,
I definitely saw things in a different way than the
rest of you.
Speaker 2: So like back in college. And this is where I
lose every last cool point I've ever had. I ran
an email wrestling an email wrestling league where basically every
week people would the participants would send me what their
characters are doing. I'd put it together in essentially a
giant show, write it up, and send it out. Some
characters win, some characters would lose. All this stuff, but
I tried to keep it in the realm of professional wrestling.
And one character came to me and he's like, he's like, okay,
I wanted to pull out a screwdriver and jam it
into this guy's eye socket during the middle of the match,
and I was like, you can't do that because then
that character would die. That's just like, yeah, that that
has nothing to do with wrestling. That has new You
can with your character committing an actual.
Speaker 1: Crime, nightclub fight, night club parking lot fights. The email
campaign that would work. That'd be fine, but right.
Speaker 3: Back your brawl fight. Sure, but this is if you're
on for pro wrestling league. You can hit him with
like the rubber or like stop him over the head
with or like you know, beat him over the head
with it or something to that effect. You're not actually
going to permanently nime in blind somebody's yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm landing on.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I think that player should have tried harder and again,
like the other one, I don't understand this obsession with
It's D and D and I can do whatever I want.
So I've decided to do something. Shit, it's going to
ruin everyone's day.
Speaker 3: I would say, if nothing else, like we said before,
help You're not necessarily the asshole, per se, but help
guide the player to a SAM like thing. Here's the
closest here's the closest race we have or species, whatever
the term is. Now to the thing you want to play.
Here's a personality, dude, you can have and we know
in your heart of heart touch what you're doing. But
just this, this is how we make it D and
D version.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah, this might have been in case of
the dming trying and explain them themselves badly. Maybe they
just said no, no, no, I suppose still guiding this player.
But it doesn't strike me. Yeah, I'm I'm leaning towards
not the asshole.
Speaker 1: A nerd not communicating. Well, you say, I find.
Speaker 3: Out all right, This one's a little bit of mechanic heavy,
so I'm gonna try to like get I know we'll
get through it. But there's a reason I picked this one,
and it's our friend Jorceer comes to mind when I
read this one, but it's not in the way that
you think. All right, am I the asshole? Character Creation Edition?
Hey all, I've been on a D and D kick lately,
and I set out to start a new campaign with
some friends. During our session zero, one of the players
was playing a war Forged Artificer and he asked the
DM if he could have a myth l plate armor
for his character, as it made sense with the character's background.
The DM, to my surprise, agreed and continued on as normal.
The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.
First of all, we're starting at level one and second artificers.
Artificers don't have heavy plate proficiency, so his character physically
can't wear I approached the players through text explaining my
concerns about it, how it's gonna make combat difficult and
for the hard of the DM to offset the balance
for us to basically pointed out that like our warlock
will have an eleven armor class, but you were going
to have a twenty one armor class, and that's going
to make it using an eighteen plus shield plus a
war for it's ability. He appreciated me coming with him
with concerns, but I got to text the next saying
the DM reached out, still gave the armor, still approved
the armor. Now. I don't want to be a rules
lawyer or anything, but I still don't feel comfortable with this.
It breaks the rules in a massive power difference between characters,
and we have two new players in the group who
won't know what to ask for, even though our demon
is incredibly lenient. I don't want to ruin the campaign
before session one, but this just feels unfair for contact.
I'm playing a cleric with an eighteen armor class, so
it's not like my character would be the most affected
by this stronger tax. But my overall fear is that
we will have a character that will always outperform everybody,
and I'll pace everybody no matter what. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2: So I played so not to say anything, but one
of the campaigns I'd played in a couple of years back,
it seemed it came across that the DM was always
giving one of the other characters the breaks this character
always like felt like he was ten times as powerful
as the rest of us, you know, and as as
a result, it was just like, you know, it wasn't
a case where like, you know, friendships are broken and so,
but it was also one of those things where it
was like, once the campaign was over, it was like, Okay,
I'm kind of glad that this is done with. You
can't break the game by by by by, like you know,
once again, I understand the rules loiterering thing, but there's
a certain thing where it's like, you know, hey, hey,
this is my character. I cast spells, I have a
twelve strength, and I want to wear it like you know,
ninety pounds of armor.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: The reason I brought it up specifically is because in
the game that we're running, most of you are. There
are a lot of rogie types and moves out of
decent armor class, et cetera, et cetera. So a lot
of you guys can dodge it, you can evade it,
or you can just take the blows. But anything that
hits when it hits Jorceer, who has no armor and
the lowest amount of hit points he gets, I knock
him down more than he's standing up and we left
off in the last adventure. He just fell off a
rope and is ad zero hit points.
Speaker 2: So, in all fairness to Bob, does Pop even know
how many hit points? Jocepher has no, he does.
Speaker 3: He figured me figured out out.
Speaker 2: I see giving if that's of like salty bastards. It
was like, what's your armor class? I don't know how
many hip points you have?
Speaker 3: I don't know he's got He's gotten better since then. However,
I do know that he's got eleven armor class. He's
got eleven armor class and nineteen hit points. He's because
he's a sorcerer. He pulls off the wizards pull of
things D six. But the rest of you guys are
moving through the map and Bob's standing put in the
back of the map. So when the shambling mound appears,
it's right behind Bob. And then he instead of like
he says, I'm not even gonna take the dodge action.
I'm just gonna run. Okay, it's gonna hit you, and
so little things like that. So that's on the player
and this particular thing. This guy's got a twenty one
armor class, okay, but the Claire's got an eighteen sounds
like someone's just a little jealous they want to have
the biggest armor class.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I've already yeah, I mean, dicey, we're
playing for a narrative, but I can't imagine playing a
game a d D where you're not trying to build
a narrative. And I like the fact that the Sorcerer
in our party is played by Bob because Bob will
Bob can't play well if he once, but he generally
won't because it's funnier, which makes it more balanced, because,
as I've already explained a million times on this podcast,
there's no fucking point being a rogue in a fantasy world.
You may as well be a tailor. And even then.
Speaker 3: It doesn't your rogue no magic.
Speaker 1: He's got a bit of Bardic in him. His dad
was a bad but yeah, and I like the worst parties.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I've gone through the asional angel summoner
versus BMX bandit argument before, where if you've got a
really cool Batman style character who can do loads of
cool stuff if he just has the chance, it doesn't
matter if your your partner is basically god. So yeah,
if you're already a warfged was a warlock or something.
He's already gone.
Speaker 3: He was a Warforge artificer. So he makes gear for everybody,
so gear for everyone.
Speaker 1: It's like, you can balance this, you can find a
way to like, Okay, you can have a twenty one
armor class, but your movement ship or you know, your
your your bull shape you like that thing out of
bund Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or hey, you're you're you're all level one, poor
poor motherfuckers, and this like you know this Warfworge walks
up with mythril like armor class. Okay, well, yeah, we
hold them down, strip them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we strip them like Clark's Clark Griswold's tires in Detroit.
No that we're just selling his chest at this point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got your you're really hard wearing you like
that guy from Return to Us. If you go in
there some stairs, you're just falling down them. If you
if you're on a boat, the boat is sinking, just
you can you can have fun with it. And I
think that's the important thing. If you can balance this
into the rest of the party having fun with it,
then it's fine. But if it's just a case of like, yeah,
you're invincible and all your friends.
Speaker 3: The person writing this is a touchable rules lawyer. If
the DM approved it, then let the DM trusting your DM.
Unless DM after several sessions proves to fail you, then sure,
you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah that sounds fair? Is That's one of those things
where it's like, Okay, you know you're complaining before the
game even starts, right, you know, it's quite possible the
DM is like competent enough to handle this. If you're
a couple of sessions in and it's obvious that, like
you know, you're all glass cannons where this guy is
a panzer tank, then you might have Then that's the
point where you where you maybe you have issues.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could say the potential issues, but you're right,
I haven't even started. I have a little bit of
faith in your damn.
Speaker 3: So on this one, I'm saying, yes, you are the asshole.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, what a total asshole you are? You disgusted me.
Speaker 3: Also, you're a claire. Which kind of cleric are?
Speaker 2: I bet you?
Speaker 3: The kind of clerk doesn't even heal people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're such a cleric, why didn't you heal
that chip on your shoulders? Sonny?
Speaker 3: You hold asshole?
Speaker 2: Back and forth edition a man one of the players
in my In my game, I would always do this.
You'd be like, okay, do what if you need to,
I'm gonna heal you on your turn, his on my turn.
His turn will come around. Everyone will be waiting for
the healing and be like, I'm gonna try something else
every fucking time.
Speaker 1: See again, I think clerics are too op, so I
appreciate clerics being played badly. It's it's all about party balance.
I give that rogue something to do.
Speaker 3: Was that aimed at me?
Speaker 1: Because no, it's just aimed at the game in general.
I've had plenty to do. But I have plenty to
do because the rest of my teammates are amusingly incompetent,
which is sort of you know, the crux of the podcast.
Speaker 3: It's like, yes, oh yeah, mission through incompetence is this one?
This next one is less of an Am I the asshole?
I think they're just saying this may this player in
my campaign is an asshole, so let's listen. Uh player
thought he was the main character. A player of my
party had showed up to build a character, then missed
out on five sessions of gaming. Upon showing up to
the following session after missing five unannounced. By the way
he complains about us playing without him, we told him
that after the first two miss sessions we were not
going to wait and we just started playing again. Well,
apparently we I triggered something deep within him to skip
over that. Okay, we just picked. We just triggered a
pit trap with a long fall and checked the depth
using a magic item of the DM, and had given
us it was about one hundred and fifty foot drop.
There was nowhere else to go, so I cast feather
fall on the road and then myself. The problem player says,
I'll just jump down the hole and use my daggers
to glide down. The DM tells him that's not possible.
It's sheer stone, it's a vertical space, but he rolls
for it anyway, using apparently weighted dice and rolling in
a very particular way. He gets a natural. The DM says,
it doesn't matter, you fall to your death. Uh, And
we told him it would have been an instant death
if you felt anyway. The best part the character didn't
even have daggers in his inventory sheet, so.
Speaker 2: There's no real m by the asshole in the situation floor,
I'm gonna use my daggerage, which don't my imaginary.
Speaker 3: Dog right, So at this point I think you just
you have a headcannon for the rest of the campaign.
You have a lunatic asylum escaped ally who follow who
just appe years from time to time, like a like
a like a like a crazy Cramer character that just
shows up and says random shit and leaves.
Speaker 1: So there was a great red Dwarf bit which I
can adapt to this. So a brilliant plan, so stupendous plan,
fantastic plan. But for two major floors. The first floor
you don't have any dacis. The second floor you don't
have any dacis. Now I realized that's the same floor.
But I fought this floor was such an integrable, integral
part of the floor that it had to be mentioned twice.
But no, I think he did the right thing just
by l it and full to his death. That's the
funniest shit I've ever heard.
Speaker 3: Despite apparently he rolled again. This character also brought weighted
dice that everybody kind of knew about, and he rolls
a natural twenty and the DM just says, I don't
care you die anyway.
Speaker 2: Somebody's bringing rope weighted dice to the table. Then uh
then then then that that's the point where the DM
brings out the wrath of well whatever fuck you got
he wants.
Speaker 3: Listen, it's a nerd basement. I'm sure there's at least
three cone An swords down there. Just fuck this guy up.
I mean, just kick him out of there.
Speaker 1: Like, come on, if you didn't describe every second of
him falling to his death in the most amusing way possible.
By this sh'd been a home of Simpson falling down
the canyon. Oh, he said, stretch it out for longer,
try and make the rest of the session just describing
how to godet if you.
Speaker 3: Can these telescope telescope into your into your abdomen, and
your balls come out through your mouth, and then the
vomiting starts, and then you cry like a bitch. Oh
the whales of your bitch cries, you know.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, And don't kill him, just keep him alive
in this like this horrifically bankled state.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, just just just hear one.
Speaker 2: You're just like he could have been liquefied.
Speaker 1: This is permanent damage. You're not coming back from this,
You're a one here human foosion, your role everything. It's
what I am now calling super disadvantage. Uh yeah, but
main character syndrome. I actually I made a conscious choice
in the latest season of Our Adventures Dicey Besters, if
you ain't got around it yet, because I played Brandon
wei Master so long, which decision making wise, because of
his philosophy to life was super easy because he didn't
really care about anything. I thought this time around, I'd
go through a character who genuinely wanted to be the leader.
So that's been that's been more interesting in that the
group dynamic means what I want to happen rarely does anyway,
but this time, you know, I'm more active in the process.
It's not happening the way I wanted to get it,
So I don't Yeah, what I'm trying to say is
I don't understand why this guy wanted to be the
main character.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, in a situation like this, I I
the idea of, like I'm gonna jump down and glide
down on my knives. We've seen Errol Flynn, We've seen
like anime like that. This character wanted to do something cool.
But let's go back to the part where like he
missed the first after creating, the character missed the first
five gaming sessions and then just showed up unannounced. So
there's something in this individual they just they think they
are in life. The main character, you know a lot
of people, dude, not a problem. That's that's just narcissism.
Speaker 2: It happened.
Speaker 1: That's great if he just like even I in the game,
the character didn't show up until that exact moment went Hey,
everybody looks at me.
Speaker 2: Oh just whatever, recive. I love the fact that Stan
is essentially like the party leader of this absolute shit show. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's never going to be a case where
we have a leader and like, oh, well that's easy,
We'll just do what Elita says. That was never on
the cards, but I thought playing somebody who actually wants
to sort of control the desky at a party rather
than somebody who it was cosmically indifferent to the needs
of non beautiful people.
Speaker 3: When we're when we're playing dicey bastards. I like when
you like Stan will do something, it's something simple, and
I still make you roll certain checks for it, just
because you've always described it as being older than everybody else.
You've played up your age a lot. So like getting
up on a stump, well, give me an athletics roll
and then sure, shit, it's a very low roll. You
fall off the stump, Papa hip whatever, and it's old man,
it's it's taking it down a peg. But it's also
it's it's for the fundsies. And even with move like, hey,
can you get out of this pile of composted dung?
Speaker 1: Roll it?
Speaker 3: Nope, okay, you got out. You fell right into the
next one. You know, it's that's what the dice are fun.
It's fun that way.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, it's like throwing stand out that rope in
the last game too a hand.
Speaker 3: Not sure what I'm throwing a rope like? Well, also
like the two the all are the two headed fighter
losing a hand to begin with, Like, that's a fun
one too.
Speaker 1: So we have a history of of just being incredibly
bad roles at incredibly good times. I'm glad it's I'm
glad that tradition.
Speaker 3: Is or incredibly great roles that our friend blicks will
then animate and because they are just oh my god,
and it was what's weird is like you know when
when you know when Emily sniped that child running away
and blew his head off. We didn't even get to
see it, like it kind of like overshadowed. Move had
a great one too, where it's like you froze that
kid with a natural twenty, like another fleeing one that
didn't get animated. For folks, go back to that episode
that was brutal.
Speaker 1: It's brilliant when it comes to sort of like saving
our lives and preserving our existences all ones, when it
comes to murdering kids old natural twenties baby.
Speaker 3: Kids living.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: Now, this next one's a bit of a long one
and so stick with me, but it's a it's another
slight main character. But also it's is this friend of
mine and asshole. Basically, my best friend joined our group
and decided to take things very personally. I've known him
for twelve years and normally he is a great guy.
But for some reason, him playing D and D brought
out the worst in him and made him a total prick.
He's in his late twenties and his character was playing it.
He played a character that was a teenage girl. We're
going to call her Maxine. Maxine was a total asshole. Character.
My friend played her incredibly aggressive and hostile, frequently telling
us to fuck off, attack our characters physically, and would
take any joke against her as a personal slight on himself.
As a player that does sound look very much like
a teenage girl. Yeah, well, the heat maker constantly go
off of her own brood in a corner, have a
hissy fit, and not participate if he felt slighted. It
dragged us down by keeping things an incredibly slow place,
slow pace, as we had to frequently go babysitter. It
felt like she she liked the attention, so we stopped
feeding it and eventually realized it shouldn't be up to
us ensure that he participated. If I ever called him,
called on him, he say the dreaded if it's what
she would do. I've said, there's there's no justification for
being an asshole. One major example I could think of,
where's awful behavior? Oh this is oh this person's English,
because it's behavior with ou rs anyway, right now, that's
automatically void.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: We decided to go shopping. I played a gun slinger
type character and went ahead to go try to find
but to buy some bullets. Maxine decided to run ahead
and attack my character with a weapon as she ran
past me even before I got to the shop. He
then argued, I then argued that you have no idea
what my character would be. She didn't care. The attack continued,
but I didn't want to argue. I just wanted to
buy my bullets. So once aecad of the shop, I
spot Maxine hiding. She then confronts me in the shop
and shouts and beerates me. I buy what I need
and try to leave. She then tries and fails to
hit me three separate times with a frying pan on
the way out of the shop. I dodge each hit
and could tell that she was infuriated by this point.
I'm fed with Maxine and I fed with a guy
playing her, so I pistol whipped her natural twenty. I
leave Maxine unconscious in the dirt outside the shop. He
then proceeds not talk to me in real life for
a solid week, saying I abandoned Maxine in the streets.
He actually fell out of me, fell out with me
as my best friend because of what happened in a
D and D session of all things. It generally took
months for me to get through through him that this
is a game and he needs to stop taking his
So personally he eventually calmed down, but he doesn't play
D and D at all now. He admitted his depression
was taking a toll on him and used it as
a vehicle for all his negative feelings. Uh, there's a
lot more of that, but at.
Speaker 1: The sly at the end of it, he just admitted
he was the asshole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty clear cut. Like I was in a
campaign and this was one of the campaigns that DM
cut short because we were just like all plotting against
each other, and oddly enough to the other guy was
also playing a teenage girl. He did something to my
character where my character wound up in the stocks for
like a day or a day or two. So I
did something where I where I wound up like like
framing the girl's family, which escalated and they wound up
being executed instead. But the thing is, even though our
characters were assholes in real life, we were lat We
thought it was hilarious. We were having a good like
that's the behinding thing of Like, yes, it's what my
character would have done, as long as you leave it
in the character the second you pull it out and
you start taking it personally. That's what you really cross
that line, because like asshole, asshole in character can be
dealt with, Asshole at the table is a whole different thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's what my character would have done. Goes
both ways, Like this guy decided to play a comedy
character who's deliberately annoying. Somebody's playing a gunslinger. I'm assuming
it's going to be a kind of a badass guy.
Eventually you're going to have to You're going to push
the character to the point where he's going to have
to react like his character.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the whole.
Speaker 1: When we were playing the other game, we had this
thing where Fandingo would throw the fire ball and it's like, hmm, well,
it doesn't matter if the fighters are there because they
can take the damage. My opinion was eventually that barbarian
is just going to pick you up by your feet
and smash you off a tree, because you don't just
set fire to people. Their patients to run out. Basically,
so anybody's saying kind of like, yeah, that's what my
character would do, Okay, but you know that's how it
works in the real world. You behave exactly how you want,
and then there are consequences.
Speaker 2: Friendly fire happens, But when it's always friendly fire, yeah
literally right, like move hitting like you know, stand with
that with that frostball, that was a bad role. If
was just continually shooting stand I would expect at some
point Moog wakes up with his throat being slit.
Speaker 1: And not because it's personal to the players, but it's
because if you've got to keep the kind of narrative rolling,
you got to think, why would he just let himself
get set on firel exactly? He's not Wiley coyote. You know,
there's got to be some sort of natural response here
that if you don't take as a player, it just
seems like you're not really getting into the spirit of it.
Speaker 2: Right. So yeah, and fourth edition I had a palette
in and he had this stance where basically he would
just stand there and do damage pretty much doing nothing.
And this whole thing was he he tended to get
swallowed by these giant monsters a lot. But the thing
was he was tough enough where if he got swallowed,
he would basically kill them from the inside out. That
wound up be that that was a conscious choice it'd
be different if, like, you know, if the other players
were just like, we're just constantly shoving you ahead so
you get swallowed by these monsters. That's a different thing eventually. Yeah,
But that's the thing. It's like, you know, there's a
difference between in character and out of character. And you're
exactly right. If, like, you know, if the players are
sitting around having a good time and like the Gunslinger
Pistol whips Maxine and everybody thinks it's hilarious around the table,
that's fine, that's in character. If the dude gets mad outside,
that's a personality flaw right.
Speaker 3: Well, it's like like you said, like some players think
they're the the token mischief makers, that they're the ones
they're they're the agents of chaos. Someone who watched the
joke the Joker in the Bat in the Dark Knight
one too many times it thinks they're the funniest fuck
thing that was. And they bring that energy to a
D and D table, And just like real life, just
because people play D and D, there are still people
who just outside of a game and asshole inside of
a game and asshole, and they try to bring that
in there to think this is the this is their core.
So this person playing maccine, you played a moody, moody
teenage girl. Sure, great, fantastic, But I've never I mean
I've known moody teenage girls. I've never been stabbed by one,
you know, I've never you know, I have been. I
have been like a like nearly stabbed by a guy
in England for talking shit while I was drunk about
you know, just English American relations. That might have been
during the Revolutionary War, and he tried to stab me
with a screwdriver.
Speaker 1: But that I brought that on myself, you know, Yeah,
that's perfectly natural. Yeah, that probably would have happened to
you hadn't been an American if you're just being annoying.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also here's something to think about when you're playing
a character and you've got this character's flaw or personality,
trying to think of, like if you were watching this
or reading about this, what would be narratively satisfying, and
you getting pistol whip was narratively satisfying. You know, It's
like you were a really annoying kid. It was winding
up a gun slinger who then bunk you on the
head with his gun. That's seems like cause and effect,
you know why angry about what? What flows?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: M All right, let's see one more. I'm trying to
find a good one here because like some of like
unfortunate shouldn't have left with the horse fucking because that
one really set the tone and unfortunately the rest are
not as good as the horse.
Speaker 1: Fucking well needed never missed, all right?
Speaker 3: So when the DM saves the main character, so I
played a palette and then pretty much didn't care much.
We had one person in charge of the group, as
probably the lover of the DM. The character he played
worked for the revival of the DMI King, while the
rest of the party tried to avoid that at any costs.
The guy, let's call him Ben, played a character that
kept secret from the party and when we asked, and
when we asked, he said, I can, I cannot tell
you for your own safety. He did it over and
over and over till we had enough. So and Ben
tried to go off hunting. I told him we would
go with him. So I followed him until we started
running away. He came away, so I started waiting for him.
At some point he came back with two animals without
any wounds. I asked. I asked him what he did,
and he lied to me. So I got pissed off
and started a battle. In the first turn, he transformed
due to ability he got from the DM, and then
he tried to beat me down with the words you
have no chance dot dot dot. Well, let's just say
he took about a fifth of my life away. While
I down him, I thought about timing him up and
questioning him when he wakes up. What jokes on me?
The DM says he made a con save with an
impossible saving throw. When my character woke up after being
surprisingly beaten down, she was tied up in the demon
rom where she got She was there for over years
with the punishment, and she never got to oppose Ben
talking about a DM's favorite. So I think this was
what they was trying to get at. Is sometimes the
dms play favorites. They have a secret backstory with a
particular character, and they get away with shit that the
rest of the characters aren't privy to. So is the
d M the asshole in this or is the are
there the dynamic between basically is the person asking the
asshole or is the DM and quote Ben the asshole.
Speaker 1: Oh Ben, Yeah, I mean all right, they sent up
a story and you know, if it's got something to
do with a payoff down the line that you don't
want to ruin. Okay, handled badly then, because you're obviously
isolating players and making it look like somebody else is
having a a more special time. I don't know why
you would sort of keep that secret.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. Some players put more into a game
than others, and I'm okay with rewarding that. But the
second you, like, you know, you step in and as
the DM and like you know, show that favoritism, that's
where where things get a little bit, a little bit dicey,
you know. I'm I'm a firm believer that, like, yes,
the more you put in you do get some perks
and stuff, not necessarily overboard, like you know, like you
don't get to be made of God while somebody else
everybody else sucks. But at the same time, the dice
kind of rule rule. So if the dice say you
lost the battle, you lost the battle, like you know,
I mean, yes, in the case of a TPK, I
have found ways to, like, you know, so that the
party doesn't get white. But Yeah, like, if you're basically saying, oh, well,
you know, you know this character made it, made it
made a saving throw he didn't make, and you don't
have a narrative reason other than just because that's kind
of solish.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, if this had been players versus
enemy and he's a little bit lenient on one player
in situations than he is only ever, I don't think
that's as bad as long as they're having a good
time and as long as there's kind of a, you know,
a balanced payoff to that. But if it's literally player
versus player and you fit, and this player is being
kind of overpowered by a continuous line of decisions by
the DM, then it does maybe seem like they're putting
one player on a particular pedestal for reasons you don't understand. Yeah,
I could see why somebody would take that a little
personally as well.
Speaker 3: You should. There's situations. I mean, I've read some of
these stories in the past where you know, some some
person writes in on one of these it was a
long woman. I'll give you the gist. Am I the asshole?
For I worked with my DM. I've been out for
a while, but he wanted to bring me in. I
was an old, longtime friend, so he brought me in
as a certain type of character. But I was actually
a monster in disguise with the party the whole time.
And I was supposed to go to a certain point
because I was going to be the big, bad evil
guy by there by a certain mid level point by
the time they reached eight third ninth level, give or take.
And one of the players was catching on to certain
things that this character was doing as a warlock. You
shouldn't was using rules lawyer, shouldn't be able to do this.
You shouldn't be able to do that. But the person
that had gotten permission for the DM to do some
of these things, but the lawyer person on the table
called on started noticing things. So they just inside of
the fight early it was. And then so the the
DM says, you know what, you're right, you know what, buddy,
go to town and the person transformed and fucked them up.
You know, they eventually did win, but it was one
of the situations like it was planned for being down
the line. So you know, there's always the rules lawyer
who's looking at one or two times someone casts a
spell the wrong way, or does something the wrong way,
but then they start noticing something is up and they
everybody questions favoritism. When you're the DM's best friend, it's
it's you know, did it happens? Or when the DM
it takes a shine to I was playing this one
campaign and this, uh, we'll just say this, one guy
was very nice to the one girl who played on
her campaign. At level four, she got a plus three
magic boat because she was a ranger. Well, the rest
of us got like, you know, here, here's your here's
your scraps, and it's like like gruel you minions.
Speaker 1: Well, to be fair, I'm going to put ranges somewhere
on the same level as rogue.
Speaker 3: So well they are they're just they're they're forced, they're
force roads, you know, also useless.
Speaker 1: But again, this nothing to stop this DM, right, just
if somebody's getting wound up about it and you can
see that, you can just take them aside and got
the kind of planning something for down lines, just go.
Speaker 2: With it for a bit, trustful.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean again, I've never really played D and
D outside of trying to make a fun show out
of it. But I always thought that if you weren't
playing D and D like that it would just be
uh math.
Speaker 3: I've played in more serious campaigns. You know, the persons
run a raven Loft campaign, so there are no jokes
at the table. It's got to be moody, it's got
to be atmospheric. It's you know, it's just cool, wet
and dark. And but that's that's not how I have
my fun. I've played a few of those games, but
you know, even my characters, I try to like bring
it a little levity in a dark world. And it wasn't.
It wasn't well received by the DM. The players had
fun because I think I'm not gonna say for everybody.
For us, comedy tends to come naturally, especially in these
because some of the dumb things that just happen, like
you have to laugh at them, you have to let
you know.
Speaker 1: But I'd say, even I say narrative, it's been a dark,
serious game that does above me. What I don't really
want to be a part of is you know, a
letter of the law to spite the spirit of the law. Like,
if what you're doing lends yourself to that storytelling an atmosphere,
maybe just go along.
Speaker 2: With it rather than saying but also it's like, if
I'm sitting at the table, there's my character, but there's
also me. And if you're asking me, you you Rick
cannot tell. Joe cannot tell. Joe. Rick is going to
tell you to go fuck yourself.
Speaker 3: Well, I like I had a knew I'm one of
my buddies. Hey, I'm gonna run a new Raven Law campaign.
When playing it, I said, no, thank you what, I'm
busy with everything that we do. But too, like, I
know the style that you want to be in it,
I'm not a good fit. You want this to be
mega serious. You want like hardcore gamers to be part
of this, who are going to like and embrace the
role and become that thing. And I know that's not
who I am at this stage of my life right now.
I'm just not gonna do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did it. We did a basically I did
I dam the Strange Aon's game and Pathfinder, and it
was like, especially the first module, super dark, super moody,
all of that stuff, But we were still having a
lot of fun around the table, right you know, you
can combine, you can combine, combine it to still keep
it like you know, creepy while at the same time
not make it depressing as fuck for the players.
Speaker 3: True.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but again the mood. If the mood's like, you know,
serious and dramatic, it's fine as long as you're able
to commit to that sense of storytelling and atmosphere building.
And if it's just a case of well, you know,
according to this boring fucking nerd book that we're all
supposed to be taking. It said at the beginning of this, like,
D and D has rules, but they are to facilitate something,
and I think it's the it's the d m's job
to fairly facilitate it into a narrative experience that everyone
can enjoy.
Speaker 3: I had this camp. I was playing my homebrew game
and I was It started with everybody waking up in
a graveyard, and but they weren't in the bodies that
they started in. I had everybody roll randomly and they
ended up in a different body and it was fun.
So but every time they died, their spirit would then
be reborn into a new body. Because one of the
things when you're playing a game, nothing sucks worse than
like one of your characters dies. Okay, that sucks, it happens.
It's d and d but then try and do like, Hi,
I'm you know Bob the second I am the other
ranger palette and whatever, and trying to get back and
trying to re ingratiate yourself with the party or you
can with it a completely different attitude. But I was
doing an experiment. What about the mania? What if you
kept dying but you kept being reborn into a new body,
but that's not your body? What does that feel like?
What does that do with the psyche? And the players
are having a good time with it, because by level
ten they're supposed to find their real bodies again, but
then death would be permanent at that point. So it
was I had this plan and it went on for
quite a while. Unfortunately, the all campaigns peter out over time.
Speaker 2: It just happens, you know, But you.
Speaker 3: Can get I warn them ahead of time, this is
gonna be a little bit different than what you've played.
Just trust me that it'll be fine. And everybody had
a great time with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean sorry, Rick left. Yeah, I was saying.
Speaker 1: In the first Chronicles a Calamity, the og game we did,
there were a couple of times where Drew had to say,
all right, you've managed to you managed to basically wipe
out your pie. You were rescued by a palette and
you fucking bunch of incompetent idiots. But at the time,
mainly is kind of Most of the time, Drew played
a very balanced game. But then a lot of the
time somebody key to the game wouldn't show up and
we'd be fun so we had to think on the fly,
and you know, there would be these kind of do
the smack in a kind of moments.
Speaker 3: But so what during our last game, during our last game,
when Drew wasn't there, it's like your only source of healing.
You know, I knew the dicem gonna be on your
favorite It's just the dice. But I had to say
I did skip one map it was just another fight map,
because it would just be dead. I didn't want to.
I just skipped over that because there's no reason to
put you guys through that. After like being chased through
the literal shit by a shambling mound like you, we
can skip another leg in count like that, I can
get you to your point of view. Then you faill
down ropes and hurt yourself even more, which actually it
worked out great, So yeah.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. It's one thing that annoyed that does
annoy me sometimes when I play in my life is
it'll be inting late at night. There's it's like midnight,
I want to I want to quit in like fifteen
minutes and stuff, and the dam will start a battle
and rather than like read the room and be like, okay,
you're all tired. No, no, we're gonna do this entire
battle the way the way it was scripted, and it
was like, dude, yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3: That's another five minutes, you know, Yeah, you gotta.
Speaker 2: Do things in the fly and to just kind of
look like I like to be time conscience and it's like, okay,
you know, you know it's eleven thirty. We normally played
till midnight. There's a big battle coming up. Let me railroad.
These guys. It's so that we don't hit that big
battle because otherwise we're gonna be here until two in
the morning. You're gonna be fucking miserable.
Speaker 1: Or just a cliffhanger.
Speaker 2: Fighting.
Speaker 3: You see the fight, you're ready to start, and that's
where we end, and then you can pick up the
next time. And then when the battle begins and it's
that's quite It's fun.
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, a handy thing about us doing this episodically
and it's about to be a huge brawl next time,
next time.
Speaker 2: Well that's how I had. That's how I had, Like,
you know, the last game I played ended up. It
was late, I was tired. It was this multi pronged
battle of all this stuff going on. I thought we
had finish it. No, we're and starting the next thing.
I was finally, okay, can we just put like a
lid hunt it here? And I was like, you got
a really cool map here, but I am not nearly
awake enough to appreciate it. I was like, I'm going
to enjoy this battle a lot more if we started
again the.
Speaker 1: Next time, if I'm conscious for it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you want me to not hate you, then
skip to the next time.
Speaker 1: Speaking of skip them to the next time and next
time on Olphas and Dragons. Uh yeah, that was That
was side quest and that was Amada asshole D and
D edition. Let us know in the comments, comments or
Facebook or our discord wish would you wish to join
it wherever you enjoyed this format, whether you'd like us
to do it again, Well, let us know if you
hated it and want us to die.
Speaker 3: If you hated it with Steve's idea, if you liked it,
it was mine.
Speaker 2: So either way, Steve's not so subtle way up saying,
I'm saying he's sick of talking to the rest of us.
Speaker 3: I'm done. I got to get back to my real
world where we have extra o's and u's.
Speaker 1: So that's an Now, that's an hour of quality content.
Fucking ingrates. Yeah, so I enjoyed that. I like dismantling
some some people who clearly don't have enough real problems
in their life. So I guess, yeah, if I'm going
to lay my judgment down on all of them, you're
all assholes.
Speaker 2: Get a job. Yeah, you play D and D at
some level raw assholes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay? And from myself from Gibbe, from Rick, well,
why am I saying goodbye in your behalf? You can
do yourself. That's rather argant of me. Goodbye from me,
I do a play by everybody.
Speaker 4: Austers and Dragons brought to you under Creative Commons license,
meaning you are free to share this material so long
as credit is given to those who created which is
us people.
Speaker 2: You just started to play.
Speaker 4: The game opening and closing themes performed by the gore
Core four