Speaker 1: Caloroga Shark Media.
Speaker 2: Conan O'Brien addressed what's up with his hair? Hello from poolside.
I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news. It is
seventy one degrees, Sonny out. The humidity's fifty five to
do points like fifty three, one of the top ten
days you're going to get. So we are not sitting
in a basement today when we can do this outside
with this cadas, the birds, the pool, the dogs, and
the landscapers. You may recall people were wigged. Well that's
a bit of a pun. People were wigged that Conan
O'Brien had slicked back hair. Conan addressed the situation. He
told a long version of the story on his podcast.
I started to pull the audio from it, it would just
take too long to get to it, so let me
just tell you what he said. He was invited to
the opening of the Obama Museum. He realized the opening
would be held outside, He put some sunscreen on his
face and went about his day. Conan explains, it's three
hours plus and when it's over, I'm so glad that
I put the sunblock on, and I'm feeling really good
about myself, like smart move. He goes over to talk
to some fellow guests who he called bright red, like
Stephen Colbert and David Letterman. He said those gentlemen looked
like they had been playing in a sandbox with plutonium. However,
Conan says, a day or two later after the event,
I feel like my skull is on fire. And then
two days after that, my scalp is really itchy, and
whenever I itch it, it looks like a snow globe, it
looks like confetti. White freckled Confetti's pouring off my head.
It's disgusting. He was confused, he thought he was going crazy.
Someone let him know he had a scalp sunburn. Conan said,
I'm not used to that because I've got so much hair,
but this sun just blasted right through my hair, roasted
my scalp, and someone said, to treat this, you have
to rub oil into it. So this morning I rubbed
oil into it, not thinking about the podcast when we
went on camera, and then I come in and I
look like I'm in Shanta Na. I'm a grease ball.
I'm so greasy. I'm Frankie Valley. We'll see if it
goes back to the pompadoor. We'll keep it at twelve thirty.
Make twelve thirty great against. Seth Myers has been bashing
the President of the United States. Now, the President and
I don't agree on all the issues, but one of
the issues we do agree on is making twelve thirty
great again. We need to get back to the days
of Letterman and Conan. And yet Seth Myers has a
show for some reason, and Seth was mocking the commander
in chief for staying on stage during the World Cup.
The New York Post has brought this to my attention.
Apparently Seth took issue with a truth social post from
the President of the United States in which the President
praised Andrew Giuliani, who is the White House's point person
for the tournament and coincidentally, the son of Rudy Giuliani.
That doesn't mean Andrew wasn't the perfect person to run
these things. He just happens to have a famous father. Anyway,
I digress. Trump thanked the younger Giuliani for elevating the
World Cup to a level that nobody thought was possible.
Seth Myers, who has a show at twelve thirty for
some reason, said all right, calm down. It was already
the biggest sporting event in the world. It's not like
he sold seven million pickleball tickets. Myers also made fun
of Trump's comments during a pregame interview before the World
Cup final. The President said Ronaldo has a much easier
life and that he'd like to trade places with the
soccer star for a month or so. Seth Meyer said,
or longer. You ever watched Ronaldo like run full speed
up and down a soccer pitch and you're like, this
guy doesn't worked as hard as President Trump. Seth Myers
also suggests that President Trump is a sports reaper because
when he attends games, the teams he's rooting for lose.
I do like this joke, though, Seth said, They're going
to have to sage MetLife Stadium to get the hecks out,
otherwise the Jets might have a bad season. Love It
Jimmy Kimmel's Old Variety. The ratings are very strong, which
we are very grateful to CEBs for their wisdom. We
were doing pretty well before that, but that really helped that.
Of course, is the ending of The Late Show with
Steven Colbert, which nobody talks about it anymore. Except Jimmy Kimmel.
Kimmel told Variety asked Colbert if it liked to guest
host the Kimmel Show. Colbert politely declined. Jimmy said, of course.
I asked him, and I think it feels premature, but
I told him anytime you want to host it, it
doesn't matter if it's the summer, I'll gladly step aside.
Jimmy Kimmel was out promoting celebrity Millionaire. I guess people
watch this stuff. I'd rather watch civilians than celebrities. Some
of the celebrities are Colin Jostin, Michael Shay. Kimmel said,
I don't really know those guys. I learned that Michael
is very decisive and Colin is not, and in a
battle of the decisive and indecisive, the indecisive always wins.
Colin was really weighing things out in general on Millionaire.
Whatever your first thought is is probably the right answer,
unless you really have no idea. But people have a
tendency to blurt out what they think is the answer,
and then they take a long time talking themselves out
of that correct answer, and usually they'll come back to
the correct answer, but sometimes they talk themselves out of it.
In an unrelated clip, Colin jos explained how to pronounce
his wife's name. I didn't know, we didn't know how
to pronounce it. But here's Colin Jost telling us the
proper way to say Scarlett Johansson.
Speaker 1: How do you.
Speaker 2: Pronounce your wife's last name?
Speaker 1: Is it Joe Hanson or Yo Hanson? I don't know.
I've never met her in person yet, but so I
want to hear how she says it Johansson. I mean
I certainly say Johansson. I mean I don't say it
really ever, but.
Speaker 2: Yo, Joe Hanson.
Speaker 1: Why is the fridge empty? But it was originally she's Danish.
I think her family is kind of a mix, probably
kind of went back and forth a little bit between
Denmark and Sweden. So it was definitely it was Johannes
Johanssen probably originally, and I was probably Yost in Germany.
But now that's all along forgotten. So we all we
changed together, All ancestors coordinated, and so let's get them together.
Are you with Michael Chang? I didn't say you can
have a second question.
Speaker 2: Did you see the Howie Mandel impersonator on America's got talent. Yeah.
A guy came out dressed as Howie Mandel. He called
himself Howard Michael Lando. Simon Cowell asked why. From the sidelines,
Terry Crews said this is disturbing. Before Howard Michael Lando
could do his act, meil Be reached across the judges
table and hit all four red buzzers. The audience protested
and pleaded with the panel to give a fake Howie
Mandel a chance for lunch today.
Speaker 1: I couldn't decide if I wanted a pickle with my
sandwich or not. I was like dil or no dil.
Speaker 2: He then did a second joke, which was if I
was on a farm, I'd be Cowie Mandel. Definitely time
to hit the buzzer and Melb said that was not good.
She asked the audience did anybody laugh? They went to
the vote. All the judges said no, fake Cowie Mandel
said that's fair. Good night. Bob Marley caught on fire
and first of all, this is comedian Bob Marley. I've
worked with Bob a little bit over the years. I
remember one time he was trying to set the record
for longest comedy set up. I can't remember if he
has the record now, or if Chappelle does, I could
look it up, and I'm too lazy. I think Marley
does because we broadcast the whole thing live on satellite
radio a million years ago. Anyway, he goes by comedian
Bob Marley, so you don't think he's the reggae guy.
And then in the computers we always had a label
at comedian Bob Marley. Otherwise his stuff was really difficult
to schedule because you'd want to schedule a comedy record.
He'd accidentally schedule. I shot the sheriff. You don't want
to do that. Comedian Bob Marley caught on fire. He
was forced to dive into the lake by his camp
when a sweatpants caught on fire. John, we all heard
your chuckle during the story. Do you think it's funny
that Bob Marley caught on fire? Apparently you do. We
heard the chuckle. Don't edit it out. You cowered. What happened?
Bob was making s'mores. He was cooking with Uncle Jimmy,
and one of Uncle Jimmy's s'mores got overcooked. Bob Marley
went to rescue his seventy nine year old uncle Jimmy's
s'more from the fire, and the blaze jumped from the
fire to the sweatpants. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg's
on fire. Bob Marley said, I know, Jimmy. Oh see,
this is why I love recording outside. I'm deliberately doing
this for the randomness. Do you hear that? I don't
know if you can hear that, but again, I'm in
my backyard. No one's doing anything wrong. You're not supposed
to record your podcast Poolside, John, You're supposed to record
it in a basement like losers do. Anyway, the neighbor
is now having his generator serve, so that's why you
hear the generator noise. I'm leaving all this in. That
is the beauty of Poolside. This is why you work
for yourself. I could be trapped in an office in
New York City staring out the window, going it's seventy
one degrees out in sunny, and I'm trapped in this office.
So we're gonna put up with the generator guy. I digress.
Before all that happened, you may recall Bob Marley was
on fire. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg's on fire.
Marley said, I know Jimmy Bob Marley jumps in the lake,
and he explains when I was in the water, I
took off my sweatpants and my shirt and put them
on the doc to dry, and then I got up
on the docks, standing there in my underwear. Then I
see a pontoon boat coming toward me with three one
hundred and ten year old ladies on it. One of
them asked me, Bob, are you standing there in your underwear?
And Marley said yes, I am. Okay, I actually put
a note in this week's show to remember to promote
the Weekly Comedy Thing. It was pointed out to me
in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group that
I never remember to promote it. What is this weekly
Comedy Thing? John? Okay. There's an app it is called
Live One where you can listen to music and the
comedy stations. I program the comedy station so you can
listen to comedy. The app is free. All this is free.
You can just do this for free. And then on
Sundays I published a show called The Weekly Comedy Thing,
which kind of sort of overlaps with this show. Now
this is where I can do long form versions of
the stories, and on the weekly comedy thing, I'm more
of a jock, so I'm trying to keep the story
super tight. But over there I can actually play the
comedy clips. So if I tell you say, Mark Maren's
going to be at a film festival, I can play
Mark Maron after it. If you're into you discovering new comedians,
some of the newer comedians you'll hear this week on
the show Ali Hassan, Tom Staid, Kyle Gordon, and Whitmer.
Thomas also got some Bob Marley in there. You know
why the story I just told you, except on that show,
I tell the twenty second version of it. It is
the final day of Just for Laughs Montreal. It wasn't
much buzz this year. At five o'clock today May Martin
is recording a Netflix special and again at eight thirty,
we'll keep the best take. There only two other shows,
Raffy Bostos is at Club Soda at seven and Lucy
Dorling at seven. That's kind of it. I mean, I'm
glad the festival's back, but Netflix says stolen their corner,
as they say in Montreal, because zat they want to
hit the nasty show. During the comedian CP talked to
the gazette and said, this is a very smart comedy crowd.
As a comedian, that's one of the most important things
that your audience understands how to be an audience. It's funny.
Some people are intimidated by the French, but then you
come and they have a high ballot for comedy. Also,
they're not sensitive. They understand a lot of jokes derive
from inappropriate places and they love that. We are told
CPS cartoon like Cadence echos the early days of M
and M, with whom CP's uncle Trick Trick is a
frequent collaborator. The essence of Slimshady can be found throughout
his high energy, envelope pushing storytelling, which covered everything from
some dirty stuff I don't want to get into, and
some more dirty stuff I don't want to get into,
and then a third thing that's kind of dirty that
involved the wildfires and the words squirting. You figured out
it is the nasty show after all, John, what do
you think was gonna happen? Ontario's Rebecca Reid came in
and told some jokes about various private parts. Really good
punchline here, but I can't set it up for you.
Go to the Montreal Gazette to read it. Meanwhile, at
the Culture Show, Dave mer Hedge was your host. He
told Cult MTL it's such a dope festival to perform at.
He also called Montreal a savvy audience with good knowledge
of stand up, which allows comedians to be themselves. The
Culture Show formerly known as the Ethnic Show and then
was known as Just for the Culture. I didn't even
realize they had switched this name. Just for the Culture
was bad. The Culture Show is better. I still like
the Ethnic Show the best. Come on, we all know
what this is anyway. The concept is simple. Five comics
of different backgrounds come together for an evening of laughs.
Dave mar Hedge was your Lebanese comedian. Then we got
Wise Cal Tara, Canishtraki, high energy Keith Pedro and the
methodical and storytelling driven Alfred Roebliss. And that is your
comedy news on a summer Sunday. Pretty strong for a
summer Sunday. And I will see you tomorrow