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<v Speaker 1>Hey, everybody, welcome to coming Out Pod. It has been

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit of time. I took September off. We

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<v Speaker 1>are back now. October is. I think June is like

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<v Speaker 1>the big month that we get, like, at least in America,

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<v Speaker 1>gay everything. October is I think the second gayest month.

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<v Speaker 1>It is Halloween is is a gay holiday and also

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<v Speaker 1>National coming Out Day in October. In fact, if you

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<v Speaker 1>are listening to this episode the day it is being released,

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<v Speaker 1>Happy National Coming Out Day to you. I always try

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<v Speaker 1>to release an episode on the actual day. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>October a very gay month. So okay, queer root shout out.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm actually surprised I haven't done this one yet, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure I haven't done this one yet. Shout

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<v Speaker 1>out to you if your queer room is Daphne from

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<v Speaker 1>Scooby Doo. Daphne from the Scooby Gang. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>huge crush on Daphne and the Scooby Gang. The whole

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<v Speaker 1>gang is queer. In my I feel pretty solid on this.

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<v Speaker 1>Fred and Velma definitely gay. Daphne Bye High Pham Bye,

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<v Speaker 1>and then Shaggy ar Oace in a queer platonic relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with Scooby Doo also a great group costume if you're

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<v Speaker 1>looking for like a queer group costume, Scooby Gang, so

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<v Speaker 1>shout out to you if Daphne is your queer root.

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<v Speaker 1>I also picked Daphney kind of thematically because my guest

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<v Speaker 1>today has red hair. I was like, God, I did

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<v Speaker 1>Little Mermaid already. I did Jessica Rabbit, who's left Daphne classic.

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<v Speaker 1>I am here with Catherine McCafferty.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Katherine, Hello, Thank you so much for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>Catherine is a comedian and the host of Pretty Gay,

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<v Speaker 1>which is we're going to talk about Pretty Gay at

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<v Speaker 1>length later in the episode, but season two of Pretty

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<v Speaker 1>Gay is currently you can watch it on Catherine's Patreon.

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<v Speaker 1>We're going to give all those details at the end.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been watching clips of it all week. It is

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<v Speaker 1>so funny. I really want I definitely want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you about I believe you have your your ex

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<v Speaker 1>girlfriend on this season. Correct I's on the teaser. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I definitely want to talk to you about that. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>when I got the email, you sent the email being like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to promote season two of it, I saw

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<v Speaker 1>that I was already following you. I had been following

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<v Speaker 1>you for a while just because like you're a funny

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<v Speaker 1>quer a comedian, and I was like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I know who this is. So I'm very excited to

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<v Speaker 1>talk to you. I know you just got back from

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<v Speaker 1>Edinburgh as well. You did the festival.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I did the Fringe for the whole month. So

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<v Speaker 2>I'm acclimating back to real life. And I don't recommend

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<v Speaker 2>real life. I don't think it's good.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, how do you go back after I've been twice

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<v Speaker 1>as like a spectator, but I've never been with a

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<v Speaker 1>show and done like like the most I've been is

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<v Speaker 1>like probably just a weekend, maybe a week So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>what is what was that? Like?

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<v Speaker 3>It was crazy?

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<v Speaker 2>And I still feel like I'm sort of coming down

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<v Speaker 2>from the high of it all because you're performing every

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<v Speaker 2>single day and I had a one person show.

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<v Speaker 3>It was.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it was a comedy show, but it also

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<v Speaker 2>like dealt with some hard themes and so doing it

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<v Speaker 2>every day you sort of like have to put your

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<v Speaker 2>emotional like journey on a shelf and then like pick

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<v Speaker 2>it back up and sort of check in with yourself

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<v Speaker 2>at the end of every day and you're just like.

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<v Speaker 3>Going, going, going, going, going.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was it was really emotional. It was really

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<v Speaker 2>amazing and I am definitely going to go back again

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<v Speaker 2>next year.

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<v Speaker 1>God, that's so cool. And is there like there's such

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<v Speaker 1>a party scene at Edinburgh? Is there like a queer contingent?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it like is it like everybody is like we're artists?

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<v Speaker 1>Or is there also like this is the queer party?

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<v Speaker 1>Like what's the vibe there?

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<v Speaker 2>There are some like queer parties that are put on

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<v Speaker 2>by like different uh, different groups. And then there was

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<v Speaker 2>like a group chat with dykes to watch shows with

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<v Speaker 2>and so they had like a few meetups and stuff

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<v Speaker 2>and so you just yeah, it was that was like

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<v Speaker 2>fun and and I was grateful to like know about that,

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<v Speaker 2>which I sort of like got roped in from another

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<v Speaker 2>lesbian who was like, you should be in this group.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's what we do. We recruit even just within

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<v Speaker 1>each other, yeah, pulling into our Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was I was sort of chatting with somebody

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<v Speaker 2>who uh who was a part who.

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<v Speaker 3>I met at one of the new ups, and she was.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, there is a queer scene in Edinburgh, but because

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<v Speaker 2>it's overrun by like the festival, it sort of like

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<v Speaker 2>goes underground. And we never ended up actually going out

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<v Speaker 2>together because she was like, I'll take you to like

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<v Speaker 2>a club that's like a lesbian club, and we just

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<v Speaker 2>didn't like link up because you.

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<v Speaker 3>Sort of like end up hanging out with a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of performers.

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, it's like everyone's theater kids in some way,

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<v Speaker 1>So that's already kind of queer. Just yes, because it's

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<v Speaker 1>so cool that you did it as a performer. That's

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<v Speaker 1>that's really awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was a fun challenge too, to sort of

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<v Speaker 2>be like you're doing an hour of material every single

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<v Speaker 2>day and you pass out flyers too, and you're you

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<v Speaker 2>just feel like so crazy because.

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<v Speaker 3>You're like come to my show and just a pro strangers,

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<v Speaker 3>like total so many.

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<v Speaker 2>Strangers every day with like a little flyer being like please.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, please come.

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<v Speaker 1>Humbling but like and also already going out like every

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<v Speaker 1>night and like and drinking and keeping up with like

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<v Speaker 1>UK drinkers like I can't know, okay, okay, okay, no

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<v Speaker 1>person show. That's probably a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would go out like we would all sort

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<v Speaker 2>of go out and maybe get like a.

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<v Speaker 3>Drink or okay, you're walking home, like I'm in a city.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a lightweight to begin with, I'm like, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>going to walk home at three am like drunk.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, so smart. I love hearing this from you

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<v Speaker 1>because I feel like people go to Edinburgh and just

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<v Speaker 1>like lose their capability for reason, and like you just

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds like you made really smart decisions. I saw

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<v Speaker 1>that your show got great reviews, like you did it

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<v Speaker 1>a really smart way, so yeah, I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we did all go out like one night that

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<v Speaker 2>was sort of like our drunk night where we were like,

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna go dancing and there was like.

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<v Speaker 3>There's a bar that was open into like five am.

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<v Speaker 2>I ended up walking to the bus stop with another

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<v Speaker 2>comedian that I had met that night and we ended

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<v Speaker 2>up both taking the bus because I couldn't get like

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<v Speaker 2>an uber, I couldn't get.

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<v Speaker 3>Like a car and it was five thirty am. So

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh, people are going to work. It's

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<v Speaker 3>like literally totally.

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<v Speaker 1>So okay. I'm glad you went one night of like

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<v Speaker 1>total debauchery, and yes the rest of you were very

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<v Speaker 1>you played it smart. You played it smart, and now

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<v Speaker 1>you're home so okay. How Because we were talking about

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<v Speaker 1>the dykes of watch shows with it, et cetera, et cetera.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you identify?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So I do sometimes feel like saying the word

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<v Speaker 2>dyke seems like I'm homophobic, like coming out of my face,

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm not. And I don't know if that's just

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<v Speaker 2>like me judging me because I am like feminine and

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<v Speaker 2>have been with men, So I think that's maybe just

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<v Speaker 2>like a little bit of internalized like whatever, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>but also trying not to like co opt a community

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<v Speaker 2>where I'm like, maybe I'm not a part of you,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, but I identify as Catherine she her, and I

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<v Speaker 2>would say, like maybe I'm by curious, but I identify

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<v Speaker 2>as pretty gay. And that is why we named the

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<v Speaker 2>show that, because I was, yeah, because like I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>interested in going out with a man on a date or.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not really interested in.

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<v Speaker 2>Any of it with somebody who identifies as a man.

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<v Speaker 2>But I have had a couple men in my life

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<v Speaker 2>before I came out who I like really did love,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I just don't feel like I can be

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm a lesbian, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Oh that's so nice. That's like in homage to

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<v Speaker 1>them and like what they meant for your life, even

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<v Speaker 1>if currently you're have no interest. That's really love. Yes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I also give you so much credit. I fucking love

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<v Speaker 1>by curious from the other side of things, because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't I've ever heard of that. That's a really beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>modern interest on by curious.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how I feel though, when like people will be like, well, like,

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<v Speaker 2>would you like kiss a guy?

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, yeah, maybe if I'm like.

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<v Speaker 2>Out wrong exactly truly, and I'm like, like, just get my.

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<v Speaker 3>Heart broken, Like right, who's the who's around?

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 2>Does it ultimately get me into a girls you know room?

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really it's a reclaiming. I really like that.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I mean, I asked this question I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like all the time. Well, first of all, does does

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<v Speaker 1>the label or term or whatever does fem like resonate

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<v Speaker 1>to you? Do you ever feel or like because I

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<v Speaker 1>know you said feminine and I never want to like

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<v Speaker 1>put the fem label on anybody, but like, yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'm curious about how you feel about that. And if

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<v Speaker 1>you do, I'm gonna go out on a limb and

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<v Speaker 1>guess that you do. You get assumed straight. Maybe not

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<v Speaker 1>from people in our community, but just like you'll be

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<v Speaker 1>like uber drivers straight people in general.

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<v Speaker 3>Like oh yes.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like people in the community they are like,

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<v Speaker 2>you're wearing too many rings to be straight, okay. And

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<v Speaker 2>then outside of the community, yeah right, And then outside

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<v Speaker 2>of the community people do I.

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<v Speaker 3>I get assumed as straight.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot, and I actually there's I was in Edinburgh

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<v Speaker 2>and we were chatting with uh, this straight man and

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<v Speaker 2>it was me and my friend Olivia, who is a lesbian,

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<v Speaker 2>and he said something.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, well, you're not that kind of gay.

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<v Speaker 2>To Olivia, like about something else, and I don't remember

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<v Speaker 2>what it was, but then I immediately set him start. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I set him up for failure. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>what kind of gay is she? And he was like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like you know, like you're like sporty, uh

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<v Speaker 2>like sporty mom vibes and we were like, oh no, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>interesting and then I said, and what kind of gay

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<v Speaker 2>am I?

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<v Speaker 3>And he said you're kind of like straight codd and

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<v Speaker 3>I like lost my mind. I was like, I'm straight coated.

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<v Speaker 3>I started like counting my rings. I was like, look

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<v Speaker 3>at how short my nails are, counting my rings. I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, I'm wearing face gens. That's gay. I have

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<v Speaker 3>butterflies on my leather jacket. That I like glued on.

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<v Speaker 3>That's very gay.

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<v Speaker 2>I have straight across bangs and a streak in my

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<v Speaker 2>hair that my ex girlfriend put in there that is gay.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, god, so mad. Yeah yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 1>I think we as and I mean we like commune.

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<v Speaker 1>Like the culture of like straight gay everybody has progressed,

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<v Speaker 1>especially a straight man using the term coded. I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I know I was picking up some terminology.

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<v Speaker 3>It was you picked up just like the wrong things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but he's maybe trying or he's like part of

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<v Speaker 1>the way a journey too. But I do still think

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<v Speaker 1>that one thing that like they can't let go of

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<v Speaker 1>is like long hair is O is gonna get you

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<v Speaker 1>assumed straight right off the bat or like bye if

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<v Speaker 1>they're really progressive, but like it's still the hair thing,

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<v Speaker 1>Like it's still and still.

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<v Speaker 2>The people are still sort of assuming like oh you're gay,

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<v Speaker 2>like and I'm I fall into that trap sometimes too,

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<v Speaker 2>where sure like somebody was walking around with, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>a very cool short haircut and I was like, oh wow,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a lesbian and.

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<v Speaker 3>Then and then I was like, nope, not at all.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like oh wow, okay, so I sort

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<v Speaker 2>of have to check myself.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess we all. The hair thing is like

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<v Speaker 1>that's like the last bastion that we really are just

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<v Speaker 1>attached to all of us. It's turkey, it's turkey. It's

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god. Okay, So we I feel like we've

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<v Speaker 1>we've dipped into some things that I already am like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>put a pin in that. I want to hear about it.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I want to hear your out story what

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<v Speaker 1>that means to you. Uh yeah, because we know, we

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<v Speaker 1>know there were some guys who you loved, and we

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00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:10.960
<v Speaker 1>know that there was an eventual coming out and now

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<v Speaker 1>you're pretty gay. So yeah, let's go back to the beginning.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So I had like a great first boyfriend in high

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00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:24.840
<v Speaker 2>school and he uh he was just like like classic

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<v Speaker 2>first boyfriend, like making out in cars, like so sweet,

250
00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Like we never felt like there was pressure to do

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00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:37.159
<v Speaker 2>anything more than that. But I will say that I

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00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:41.919
<v Speaker 2>didn't really understand that boys wanted to like touch your body,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was very.

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<v Speaker 3>Like uncomfortable with my body. I know it seems like

255
00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.279
<v Speaker 3>so like duh, like he's.

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00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:51.600
<v Speaker 1>Very sweet, but also I mean you're Catholic. Yes, I've

257
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<v Speaker 1>heard you talk about it. Yeah, and also the name

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<v Speaker 1>Katherine McCafferty. I feel like it's kind of a giveaway.

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<v Speaker 1>So like, how Catholic were you raised? Like how much

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<v Speaker 1>of that is like in your brain making you feel

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<v Speaker 1>guilty about everything?

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's definitely in my brain, and I think

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<v Speaker 2>that it was in also just like the people that

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<v Speaker 2>I was hanging out with were also raised Catholic. So okay,

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00:15:12.519 --> 00:15:16.639
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't that my family was super Catholic. My mom

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<v Speaker 2>actually had like a whole like I guess.

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<v Speaker 4>Come to Jesus moment where she was like, I'm not

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<v Speaker 4>Catholic and I don't believe in God and a reverse

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<v Speaker 4>come to g reverse in Jesus moment.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like taking Vicarious and turning out, it's here your

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<v Speaker 1>mom to come to Jesus and actually moved away.

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<v Speaker 2>From and said no, thank you, yeah Jesus in the

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<v Speaker 2>face and said no, not for me. And so my

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00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:54.919
<v Speaker 2>parents were divorced. Okay, uh, so we would be with

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<v Speaker 2>my mom more often than my dad, but they did

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<v Speaker 2>have shared custody and we were with my.

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00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:03.120
<v Speaker 3>Dad on the weekends and he went to church. So

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<v Speaker 3>we did go to church on.

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00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:09.919
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, gotcha, gotcha? Gotcha? And and how brother's sisters.

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00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:11.919
<v Speaker 3>What's the I have an older brother.

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00:16:13.480 --> 00:16:16.799
<v Speaker 2>Uh, and we were very close and we're still we're

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<v Speaker 2>still close.

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00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:21.039
<v Speaker 1>Okay, lovely. Okay, So you're getting more religion from your

284
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:24.159
<v Speaker 1>dad on the we go to church every weekend, but

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00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:27.000
<v Speaker 1>your mom is sort of like done with.

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00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:30.120
<v Speaker 2>My mom's like trying to be Yeah, my mom's like

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00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:33.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't agree with the Catholic church.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't agree with religion.

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00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:37.720
<v Speaker 1>God, that's so cool.

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00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:43.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she's cool. I have a pretty cool I want to.

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00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:45.320
<v Speaker 1>Talk about the videos you've done with her later, because

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00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:47.480
<v Speaker 1>like I saw, I couldn't believe it was your mom,

293
00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Like I was like reading the caption and make sure

294
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:53.799
<v Speaker 1>because my like the idea of talking about anything even

295
00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:57.399
<v Speaker 1>remotely in the realm of sex or sexuality with my

296
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:00.720
<v Speaker 1>mom like makes me like like I would into plans.

297
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:05.559
<v Speaker 1>So I could not believe even though like there's a resemblance,

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00:17:05.640 --> 00:17:07.160
<v Speaker 1>Like I knew it was a rob, but I was

299
00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:09.200
<v Speaker 1>just like, is this really a rob? So your mom

300
00:17:09.240 --> 00:17:10.000
<v Speaker 1>seems very cool.

301
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:12.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah cool, And she.

302
00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:17.839
<v Speaker 2>Was always like like she was sex positive. But I

303
00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:20.079
<v Speaker 2>will say like when I did get my first boyfriend,

304
00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:22.640
<v Speaker 2>she sort of like got very nervous.

305
00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:25.680
<v Speaker 3>I think and felt like I was hiding things.

306
00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:31.200
<v Speaker 2>Because I was I was like, yeah, I'm sixteen, I'm

307
00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:32.480
<v Speaker 2>not going to tell you things.

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00:17:33.279 --> 00:17:36.319
<v Speaker 1>So this is the sweet boy though was when you were.

309
00:17:36.920 --> 00:17:39.319
<v Speaker 2>So he was really sweet and I'm really lucky that

310
00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:44.359
<v Speaker 2>like that is how my uh sort of like introduction

311
00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:47.400
<v Speaker 2>to like kissing and dating. Like I was lucky that

312
00:17:47.400 --> 00:17:50.119
<v Speaker 2>that's how that started because he was very respectful.

313
00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:53.680
<v Speaker 3>I was uncomfortable when he would like.

314
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:58.599
<v Speaker 2>Touch me, and I just looking back, I'm like, oh, well,

315
00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:01.480
<v Speaker 2>I was just a poor little baby gay being like

316
00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:03.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't understand and I didn't.

317
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:05.839
<v Speaker 3>I really didn't want to see him naked.

318
00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:14.000
<v Speaker 2>But then I'm just like I was into Like I

319
00:18:14.119 --> 00:18:18.640
<v Speaker 2>was totally into him, and so I think the thought

320
00:18:18.839 --> 00:18:22.319
<v Speaker 2>of them being like maybe I am gay, it just

321
00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:26.440
<v Speaker 2>didn't like cross my mind. And Okay, I always thought

322
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:30.039
<v Speaker 2>that women were attractive. I was always sort of like

323
00:18:30.119 --> 00:18:35.200
<v Speaker 2>obsessed with like different like TV characters or real live women,

324
00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:39.519
<v Speaker 2>and I just thought that was really normal. I was like, well,

325
00:18:39.799 --> 00:18:41.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's like the thing that I think we

326
00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:44.000
<v Speaker 2>all go through, which is like do I want to

327
00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:47.480
<v Speaker 2>be her or do I want to like be inside

328
00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:47.799
<v Speaker 2>of her?

329
00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:51.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh? I like yeah, I was going to say the classic,

330
00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:53.400
<v Speaker 1>but you you made it a little more graphic, which

331
00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.119
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate that usually do I want to be her

332
00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:58.799
<v Speaker 1>or be with her, but yeah, that's let's get right.

333
00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:03.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't know what the second part is,

334
00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:08.359
<v Speaker 2>and I think it should be that let's be real about.

335
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Right.

336
00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:12.039
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god.

337
00:19:12.359 --> 00:19:15.759
<v Speaker 1>So so that I was like, you weren't suppressing on

338
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:18.240
<v Speaker 1>a conscious level. You weren't like dealing with guilt and

339
00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:21.160
<v Speaker 1>pushing it down. You were just like, I don't really

340
00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:22.680
<v Speaker 1>want him to touch me. I don't really want to

341
00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:24.920
<v Speaker 1>see him naked. But he's really nice and I like him,

342
00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:27.480
<v Speaker 1>and also girls are pretty, so yeah.

343
00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:32.200
<v Speaker 2>So it was all and like a mix of like

344
00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:35.799
<v Speaker 2>like not, there was no clarity. It was sort of

345
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:40.000
<v Speaker 2>just like okay, And then things in like my home

346
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:44.079
<v Speaker 2>life was it was tough, like growing up, there were

347
00:19:44.440 --> 00:19:49.559
<v Speaker 2>like people were just dealing with problems. And so I

348
00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:51.599
<v Speaker 2>went to I dropped out of high school and I

349
00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:55.480
<v Speaker 2>went to college a year early. Oh wow, and I okay,

350
00:19:55.799 --> 00:20:00.720
<v Speaker 2>and I did this program where we were all in

351
00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:04.440
<v Speaker 2>the same dorm because we were all underage, you know,

352
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:07.440
<v Speaker 2>and but we were taking all like of the college.

353
00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:11.200
<v Speaker 3>Classes and that's so cool. It was cool. It wasn't.

354
00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:14.839
<v Speaker 2>It was in a very remote place, so I was

355
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:19.640
<v Speaker 2>pretty isolated. And that school was seventy five percent men.

356
00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:24.119
<v Speaker 1>Seventy five percent men, okay, And was that just like

357
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:28.160
<v Speaker 1>was that I'm not like, did you do that on

358
00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:30.319
<v Speaker 1>purpose where you're like, let me find a school's majority

359
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:32.240
<v Speaker 1>of men or was it just like schools that would

360
00:20:32.279 --> 00:20:34.680
<v Speaker 1>let people come earlier? Like how did you end up?

361
00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:36.519
<v Speaker 1>It was okay?

362
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:39.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was just because of the program. And here's

363
00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:41.559
<v Speaker 3>the thing I got waitlisted at, Sarah Lawrence.

364
00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:45.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh, and I think about like how my life would

365
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:50.880
<v Speaker 2>have been like different and had just like gotten into

366
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:55.319
<v Speaker 2>because they had a similar program, And.

367
00:20:54.599 --> 00:20:57.319
<v Speaker 3>I think, like, you know, things would be different. But

368
00:20:57.440 --> 00:20:58.640
<v Speaker 3>I think sometimes when.

369
00:20:58.519 --> 00:21:00.680
<v Speaker 2>We go back in time and we were like if

370
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<v Speaker 2>only we don't also like take into account the fact

371
00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:06.640
<v Speaker 2>that like it could have been terrible, could have could have.

372
00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:10.119
<v Speaker 1>You might not have been ready for that yet, like

373
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:14.079
<v Speaker 1>as someone who hadn't yet dealt or not dealt because

374
00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:16.039
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like you weren't repressing, but as someone who

375
00:21:16.039 --> 00:21:19.839
<v Speaker 1>hadn't realized any of that yet. Sarah Lawrence is like

376
00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:25.200
<v Speaker 1>fucking baptism by fire like lace is yay? So like

377
00:21:25.559 --> 00:21:27.240
<v Speaker 1>that might have been too much.

378
00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:30.000
<v Speaker 3>It might have been yeah, it might have been much,

379
00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:31.640
<v Speaker 3>might have never come out of the closet.

380
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:35.279
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, then I just like sort of had a

381
00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:39.839
<v Speaker 2>series of like bad boyfriends, and.

382
00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:42.920
<v Speaker 1>At this end of school you have to yeah.

383
00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, like one, I guess and then another one was

384
00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:46.000
<v Speaker 2>like nice but boring, and.

385
00:21:46.759 --> 00:21:49.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, which is kind of the biggest crime of all,

386
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:51.759
<v Speaker 1>honestly for like a Communian or a performer.

387
00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:58.559
<v Speaker 2>Interesting, you're giving me nothing that's so mean, but really

388
00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:02.119
<v Speaker 2>just boring. Like when I would introduce him to people,

389
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:04.200
<v Speaker 2>we had a lot of fun, but then I felt

390
00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:06.319
<v Speaker 2>like she couldn't like keep up like I have like

391
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:09.839
<v Speaker 2>a loud family, you know, and we're like we're like

392
00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:13.039
<v Speaker 2>talking over each other, We're talking about like random things.

393
00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:15.319
<v Speaker 3>We're like talking talking, talking, talking.

394
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:20.480
<v Speaker 2>And I visited his family and I would try to

395
00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:23.160
<v Speaker 2>ask like questions that were not yes or no questions,

396
00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:30.240
<v Speaker 2>and his dad and his stepmom would somehow answer in

397
00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:34.599
<v Speaker 2>the fewest amount of words possible, and I was like,

398
00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:37.680
<v Speaker 2>what are we doing at this table together? Like this

399
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.440
<v Speaker 2>is so awkward, Like do you guys just not talk?

400
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:44.759
<v Speaker 2>Do you just stare at each other? That's crazy?

401
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:49.440
<v Speaker 1>God? Yeah, as a as a podcast host. That is

402
00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:52.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's the nightmare. Yeah, and you were you

403
00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:54.400
<v Speaker 1>were in an immersive experience.

404
00:22:55.039 --> 00:23:01.440
<v Speaker 3>I was like, what are we doing? So anyway, I.

405
00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:04.200
<v Speaker 1>Do want to ask the being in the twenty five

406
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:08.079
<v Speaker 1>percent of women at this school, like was that just

407
00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:11.880
<v Speaker 1>sort of like like pushing through like people guys being like, hey,

408
00:23:11.880 --> 00:23:14.079
<v Speaker 1>what's going on? Like was it just like over like

409
00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:14.680
<v Speaker 1>what was?

410
00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:16.400
<v Speaker 4>What was?

411
00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:21.039
<v Speaker 2>It sort of hated us because we were all underage,

412
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:23.000
<v Speaker 2>so we weren't eighteen.

413
00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:25.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so no.

414
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:30.279
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, so that also comes with like a whole

415
00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:32.359
<v Speaker 2>gross like aspect where you're like.

416
00:23:32.599 --> 00:23:34.880
<v Speaker 3>Very much that's what you're thinking about.

417
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:39.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's pretty vile, but at least which I guess

418
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:41.759
<v Speaker 1>I should be thankful for in this well.

419
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:44.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but it was mostly like they didn't want us

420
00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:48.759
<v Speaker 2>at their parties in case somebody did something.

421
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:52.039
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it's like.

422
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:57.559
<v Speaker 3>You're just sort of like what uck? Yeah, So that

423
00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:01.839
<v Speaker 3>was the vibe there. So I transferred out.

424
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:06.839
<v Speaker 2>I ended up going to Loyola University Okay, Yeah, which

425
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:10.039
<v Speaker 2>is actually where I first met my ex girlfriend.

426
00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:14.480
<v Speaker 1>This is in Chicago, Loyola in Chicago. Yeah, I went

427
00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:18.400
<v Speaker 1>to Northwestern. I've walked by your campus off time.

428
00:24:18.440 --> 00:24:21.799
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, yeah I've been.

429
00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:26.920
<v Speaker 2>I've been to Northwestern cool. Yeah, we were in each

430
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.920
<v Speaker 2>other's campuses.

431
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:30.200
<v Speaker 3>Wait love that.

432
00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:34.480
<v Speaker 2>Uh yeah, yeah, I transferred, I got out. I still

433
00:24:34.519 --> 00:24:37.079
<v Speaker 2>wasn't out of the closet yet though, and I was like.

434
00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:39.920
<v Speaker 3>Kind of always like dating somebody.

435
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:43.759
<v Speaker 1>Were you realizing anything at this point yet? There's still

436
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:45.240
<v Speaker 1>hadn't really percolate.

437
00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:47.680
<v Speaker 2>There was just like a lot going on. There was

438
00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:51.519
<v Speaker 2>like always just sort of a lot going on. There

439
00:24:51.599 --> 00:24:54.480
<v Speaker 2>was like family stuff, and then I would date these

440
00:24:55.480 --> 00:24:58.519
<v Speaker 2>guys who would like there was a lot going on there,

441
00:24:59.000 --> 00:25:01.279
<v Speaker 2>and so I just feel like I didn't ever check

442
00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:05.319
<v Speaker 2>in with myself, like not like a single time.

443
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:09.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's but the upside is you didn't have

444
00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:14.039
<v Speaker 1>any like I was saying, like like guilt and shame,

445
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:18.680
<v Speaker 1>and you know, there's no I wasn't not realizing. Yeah.

446
00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:21.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, you can't be that.

447
00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:24.759
<v Speaker 2>But then there was a little bit of that when

448
00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:27.359
<v Speaker 2>I moved to LA there was a little bit of

449
00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:32.559
<v Speaker 2>me being like, wait a second, because I had kissed girls.

450
00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:37.039
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because you said the first was the first girlfriend

451
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:38.640
<v Speaker 1>not at Loyola.

452
00:25:39.400 --> 00:25:44.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so no, I met my ex girlfriend at Loyola technically,

453
00:25:46.039 --> 00:25:48.920
<v Speaker 2>but we didn't date until like ten years.

454
00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:54.720
<v Speaker 3>Later get out. Oh when we met when we met here,

455
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:56.440
<v Speaker 3>like again.

456
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.400
<v Speaker 1>And this is fun, and that she.

457
00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:05.400
<v Speaker 3>I know that she was out in college, so.

458
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:09.279
<v Speaker 1>But you didn't know when you met her that she

459
00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:10.359
<v Speaker 1>was queer.

460
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:10.920
<v Speaker 3>I don't think.

461
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:14.559
<v Speaker 2>So okay, we just like watched a movie together with

462
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:16.440
<v Speaker 2>other people, so okay.

463
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:19.839
<v Speaker 3>It was really not like a true meeting.

464
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:22.480
<v Speaker 1>It was not a momentous. It was not a queer

465
00:26:22.519 --> 00:26:24.319
<v Speaker 1>awakening or a queer root.

466
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:27.880
<v Speaker 3>Okay, no, no, yeah.

467
00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:30.759
<v Speaker 1>So I love this delay of game story.

468
00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:31.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

469
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.559
<v Speaker 2>So I just sort of like was like going along

470
00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:39.359
<v Speaker 2>being like women are beautiful, and I would say things

471
00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:44.200
<v Speaker 2>I started to like pepper it into when I would

472
00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:47.279
<v Speaker 2>meet like new people, sort of being like, oh yeah,

473
00:26:47.319 --> 00:26:48.640
<v Speaker 2>I definitely want to date a woman.

474
00:26:48.920 --> 00:26:51.720
<v Speaker 3>I was like not out yet.

475
00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:56.799
<v Speaker 2>People had to remind me that I said that, Like

476
00:26:56.839 --> 00:26:59.680
<v Speaker 2>when I told them I was like, okay, so I'm

477
00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:04.480
<v Speaker 2>actually queer. They would be like, yeah, wait, what do

478
00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:06.119
<v Speaker 2>you think you're coming out to me right now?

479
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Because you really didn't connect that thought to queerness. No.

480
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Wow, I love And I say this like in my

481
00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:17.279
<v Speaker 2>stand up and like in my solo show.

482
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:20.400
<v Speaker 3>I like legitimately.

483
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:25.079
<v Speaker 2>Before coming out, told my therapist that I was going

484
00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:26.599
<v Speaker 2>to marry a man and then I was going to

485
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:29.799
<v Speaker 2>watch him die, and then I would get to have

486
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:32.119
<v Speaker 2>second life where I dated women.

487
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:37.799
<v Speaker 1>Wow, what did your therapist do with that, Colonel?

488
00:27:39.599 --> 00:27:41.799
<v Speaker 3>So she sort of was like.

489
00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:47.400
<v Speaker 2>You could do that now, good, that's there. Don't have

490
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:52.240
<v Speaker 2>to watch a man die. But I actually did have

491
00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:55.160
<v Speaker 2>to watch a man die. He was not my husband,

492
00:27:55.640 --> 00:28:01.039
<v Speaker 2>he was my dad. Oh So after my dad passed away, though,

493
00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:03.720
<v Speaker 2>I felt like it was sort of like, oh my god,

494
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:07.000
<v Speaker 2>life is so short sometimes, like sometimes you just like

495
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:10.000
<v Speaker 2>literally die when you're like in your fifties.

496
00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:13.440
<v Speaker 3>So I might not have enough time.

497
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:17.759
<v Speaker 2>To marry a man and then get.

498
00:28:17.559 --> 00:28:19.799
<v Speaker 1>To have something wait for him to die. What if

499
00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:24.559
<v Speaker 1>he's healthy, Like oh god, right, exactly, fucking up everything.

500
00:28:25.240 --> 00:28:27.039
<v Speaker 3>I don't have time to poison a.

501
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:31.279
<v Speaker 1>Man slowly over decades, right, Uh.

502
00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:32.640
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, my dad did it.

503
00:28:32.759 --> 00:28:34.880
<v Speaker 2>He passed away, and it was like it was very

504
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:40.680
<v Speaker 2>horrible and and hard. But at the same time, I

505
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:44.160
<v Speaker 2>think like when you go through something that really shifts

506
00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:50.119
<v Speaker 2>your entire life that you weren't expecting, it feels easier

507
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:50.799
<v Speaker 2>to make.

508
00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:56.880
<v Speaker 3>Other shifts. It just feels like like what the fuck?

509
00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:01.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, like like I just went through something that

510
00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:06.200
<v Speaker 2>feels like the hardest thing to go through, so I

511
00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:09.480
<v Speaker 2>should just state women like that's not going to be

512
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:11.119
<v Speaker 2>hard and scary.

513
00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:13.640
<v Speaker 3>I already did something that's hard and scary.

514
00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:22.160
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I ended up coming out to my brother.

515
00:29:23.559 --> 00:29:25.880
<v Speaker 3>On his first sober birthday.

516
00:29:26.599 --> 00:29:30.799
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's beautful. There's some kind I don't know why,

517
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:37.519
<v Speaker 1>but that feels like a nice like pople an emotional Yeah,

518
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:42.119
<v Speaker 1>was he the first person you came out to? Yeah,

519
00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:42.720
<v Speaker 1>that I just.

520
00:29:42.680 --> 00:29:46.240
<v Speaker 2>Told it in a way that felt like he was

521
00:29:46.279 --> 00:29:49.599
<v Speaker 2>the first person that I told that I knew that

522
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:52.920
<v Speaker 2>I was telling, you know, like because I was dropped

523
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:54.000
<v Speaker 2>little nuggets.

524
00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:56.240
<v Speaker 3>But he was the first person that I told.

525
00:29:56.039 --> 00:30:00.400
<v Speaker 2>Where I was like choice, I don't and how I

526
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:03.319
<v Speaker 2>said it was I want to go on a date,

527
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:05.079
<v Speaker 2>but not with a man.

528
00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:08.480
<v Speaker 3>And then I started crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, and.

529
00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:12.359
<v Speaker 2>I was like shaking, and he was like, oh my god,

530
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:14.000
<v Speaker 2>I go on a date with a woman.

531
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:17.759
<v Speaker 3>He was sort of just like absolutely, that makes sense.

532
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I love that is so sweet. This is about how

533
00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:27.240
<v Speaker 1>old or in the realm are we I was in

534
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:28.960
<v Speaker 1>a very weird way, how old were you?

535
00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:34.319
<v Speaker 3>How old are we? So?

536
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:35.759
<v Speaker 1>I remember exactly.

537
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:37.839
<v Speaker 3>At twenty four?

538
00:30:38.720 --> 00:30:43.119
<v Speaker 1>So early. Okay, so you've been in LA a couple

539
00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:46.960
<v Speaker 1>Did you go straight to LA after? Yeah, so you're

540
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:49.480
<v Speaker 1>for okay, so you're in LA a couple of years.

541
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:51.200
<v Speaker 3>I had been in LA.

542
00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:55.359
<v Speaker 2>My brother also had moved to LA. My dad passed away,

543
00:30:56.440 --> 00:30:58.599
<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, so.

544
00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:02.839
<v Speaker 1>Had a big change. Okay, so yeah that's still pretty

545
00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:06.079
<v Speaker 1>that's like pretty early. I feel like I felt like.

546
00:31:06.039 --> 00:31:07.759
<v Speaker 3>I was so old.

547
00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I know everyone just everyone stupid now like looking around like, yeah, baby, yeah,

548
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.880
<v Speaker 1>I think it's twenty absolutely a baby, you missed the cutoff.

549
00:31:20.279 --> 00:31:23.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I think I honestly, I don't think

550
00:31:23.200 --> 00:31:26.200
<v Speaker 1>anything I have after doing this podcast for so long,

551
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:29.519
<v Speaker 1>and also I facilitate groups for the LLGBT Center, and

552
00:31:29.599 --> 00:31:32.759
<v Speaker 1>like I really the whole like late in life thing.

553
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:35.960
<v Speaker 1>I think, like I, if you're over sixty, like I'll

554
00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:37.720
<v Speaker 1>give it to you. But other than that, I just

555
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:41.720
<v Speaker 1>see I've heard like so many stories that yeah, I think.

556
00:31:42.119 --> 00:31:45.880
<v Speaker 3>Different versions of yourself too. Yeah, And so I was like,

557
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:49.480
<v Speaker 3>and so that's why I think sometimes I'm like I'm

558
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:52.920
<v Speaker 3>not I wouldn't say like I'm a lesbian because there's

559
00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:55.960
<v Speaker 3>been so many versions of me that are me, you know,

560
00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:04.720
<v Speaker 3>and so I did like the gayest thing which has

561
00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:09.359
<v Speaker 3>come out, and then immediately meet somebody.

562
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:13.079
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, yeah truly, just like a few weeks later,

563
00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:16.079
<v Speaker 2>get into my first queer relationship and then get engaged

564
00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:16.799
<v Speaker 2>to that person.

565
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:22.079
<v Speaker 1>No, wow, look at you. You were making up for

566
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:22.720
<v Speaker 1>lost time.

567
00:32:24.279 --> 00:32:25.200
<v Speaker 3>Let's do it.

568
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:29.000
<v Speaker 2>We didn't get engaged like super quickly, though, I will say, like.

569
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:34.160
<v Speaker 3>I waited almost a year okay to move in together. Well, no,

570
00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:35.519
<v Speaker 3>we to move in together.

571
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:38.519
<v Speaker 2>We waited like almost a year, and then we got

572
00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:40.480
<v Speaker 2>engaged like three years in.

573
00:32:41.599 --> 00:32:44.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. Okay, this is actually still feeling very

574
00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:47.359
<v Speaker 1>This feels like, you know, I'm gonna draw parallel. This

575
00:32:47.400 --> 00:32:49.839
<v Speaker 1>feels like how I said, like you did Edinburgh in

576
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:53.759
<v Speaker 1>like a really responsible way. This feels like a responsible

577
00:32:53.799 --> 00:32:56.839
<v Speaker 1>way to like do. Like, yes, okay, it's very quickly

578
00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:59.960
<v Speaker 1>after you first came out you get into a committed relationship.

579
00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:03.440
<v Speaker 1>That's sort of like that goes with the terror. But

580
00:33:03.480 --> 00:33:05.559
<v Speaker 1>the fact that like you didn't you didn't you haul

581
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:09.559
<v Speaker 1>you didn't immediately get engaged like this feels this still

582
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:13.440
<v Speaker 1>feels like very responsible and like mature and thoughtful so

583
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:15.359
<v Speaker 1>I think I think you can give.

584
00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:21.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm not engaged anymore, and I'm also well married,

585
00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:23.319
<v Speaker 2>so okay, yes.

586
00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say it sounds like there was a journey,

587
00:33:26.279 --> 00:33:28.319
<v Speaker 1>but at least you can't you can't say that it

588
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:30.440
<v Speaker 1>was because you did anything rash.

589
00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:34.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

590
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.359
<v Speaker 2>I think that they would say that I did things

591
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:38.319
<v Speaker 2>that were rash.

592
00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:41.279
<v Speaker 3>That I had been our relationship. But you know, it

593
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:42.400
<v Speaker 3>depends on who you ask.

594
00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:48.039
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, I will say a lot of people, again,

595
00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:52.200
<v Speaker 1>having done this podcast and facilitated the we have a

596
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:56.079
<v Speaker 1>women's coming out workshop, it is incredibly common for many

597
00:33:56.200 --> 00:34:01.559
<v Speaker 1>people to I try not to use my Hi, Nicole,

598
00:34:01.599 --> 00:34:04.319
<v Speaker 1>I love you hated the term end up with, and

599
00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:07.599
<v Speaker 1>so I've tried to remove that from my vocabulary. But

600
00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:10.199
<v Speaker 1>I do know so many people who have ended up

601
00:34:11.119 --> 00:34:16.320
<v Speaker 1>partnered with the very first women, who have previously dated

602
00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:19.000
<v Speaker 1>men who have ended up with the oh I did it,

603
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:22.800
<v Speaker 1>who have been partnered with whether it's married or like, like,

604
00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:25.039
<v Speaker 1>we're in this for the long haul, but we're not

605
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:28.760
<v Speaker 1>getting married with the very first woman they ever date.

606
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I think this is a pretty common thing. So I

607
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.639
<v Speaker 1>think everything you're saying sounds very familiar, and I'm yeah,

608
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:42.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm really interested in hearing what you think she would

609
00:34:42.440 --> 00:34:47.119
<v Speaker 1>have called rash whereas I'm like that timeline sounds amazing

610
00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:49.079
<v Speaker 1>to me, like you've read a year before moving in,

611
00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:52.039
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like it, But but I guess and I

612
00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:52.800
<v Speaker 1>work out.

613
00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:57.840
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, my ex fiance now uses they them pronounce.

614
00:34:57.559 --> 00:34:59.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, thank you got it.

615
00:34:59.519 --> 00:35:02.639
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, which is always like sort of fun and

616
00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:04.519
<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of jokes about it in my

617
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:08.039
<v Speaker 2>stand up, which we were in touch when I wrote,

618
00:35:08.119 --> 00:35:14.199
<v Speaker 2>and so they are they're all above board jokes, okay, uh,

619
00:35:14.360 --> 00:35:18.440
<v Speaker 2>but it's sort of fun now to be like, you know,

620
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:22.119
<v Speaker 2>like before maybe like we're not going to ship talk,

621
00:35:22.199 --> 00:35:24.559
<v Speaker 2>but before like shit talking being like and just by

622
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:26.360
<v Speaker 2>the way, don't get their pronouns wrong.

623
00:35:26.960 --> 00:35:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like I would be really respectful of their gender,

624
00:35:31.840 --> 00:35:33.239
<v Speaker 1>but everything else.

625
00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:39.559
<v Speaker 2>Exactly, and I just like take a huge dump on them.

626
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:41.719
<v Speaker 1>That's also a queer culture.

627
00:35:41.800 --> 00:35:45.679
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah, like we're respecting pronouns,

628
00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:46.920
<v Speaker 2>but we are shiit talking.

629
00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:49.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

630
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:54.639
<v Speaker 2>We we ultimately just like didn't work and sure, and

631
00:35:55.079 --> 00:35:58.199
<v Speaker 2>I think there was like a lot of reasons.

632
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:03.039
<v Speaker 3>Why, but it was tough. We were together for five years.

633
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:08.280
<v Speaker 1>And being the first relationship that was not with assessman.

634
00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:15.039
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure that was like so added you got yeah.

635
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:15.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we were together.

636
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:17.960
<v Speaker 2>We were together for four years, I guess, and then

637
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.760
<v Speaker 2>we did like a very fun sort of.

638
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:25.400
<v Speaker 3>Are we going to get back together for like a year.

639
00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:29.920
<v Speaker 1>And that was I've done that.

640
00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:35.079
<v Speaker 3>It Also they were in a relationship.

641
00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:40.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, they got into a relationship pretty quickly. And

642
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:45.360
<v Speaker 2>the the real like te around that is that like

643
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:46.360
<v Speaker 2>I didn't.

644
00:36:46.079 --> 00:36:49.519
<v Speaker 1>Know, Yeah, okay, so you were other women, but you

645
00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:52.000
<v Speaker 1>didn't know that's what was going on.

646
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:57.039
<v Speaker 3>There was a lot of like sort of stuff. There

647
00:36:57.119 --> 00:36:57.760
<v Speaker 3>was just a lot.

648
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:03.440
<v Speaker 2>But but also like everyone like, there was also a

649
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:04.119
<v Speaker 2>lot of like.

650
00:37:05.719 --> 00:37:09.639
<v Speaker 3>Them breaking up or you know, like I don't really

651
00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:13.440
<v Speaker 3>like message. It was just it was all problem.

652
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:16.239
<v Speaker 1>It was not fun. And again you're going through all

653
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:21.159
<v Speaker 1>of this stuff for the first time, like and didn't

654
00:37:21.199 --> 00:37:24.599
<v Speaker 1>even have God, you had next to no time being

655
00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:26.639
<v Speaker 1>This is another thing I talked about so much in

656
00:37:26.679 --> 00:37:29.599
<v Speaker 1>the was Coming Out workshop because it's like that thing

657
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:35.239
<v Speaker 1>where your queerness is so rooted in the person you're

658
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:37.760
<v Speaker 1>with because you didn't have time to be a single

659
00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:38.840
<v Speaker 1>queer person.

660
00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:42.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was and it was so tied to them

661
00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:47.840
<v Speaker 2>and so much as like my identity and like how

662
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:51.400
<v Speaker 2>I saw myself because also I did like I did

663
00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:52.360
<v Speaker 2>like the rest.

664
00:37:52.079 --> 00:37:53.679
<v Speaker 3>Of my twenties with this person.

665
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:57.559
<v Speaker 1>Oh god, yeah, you know, or like of statically it

666
00:37:57.719 --> 00:38:02.719
<v Speaker 1>was okay, that is tough. Yeah, that's really tough.

667
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:07.440
<v Speaker 2>But I will say I moved out of la for

668
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:12.840
<v Speaker 2>the beginning of that breakup, and I think that it

669
00:38:12.880 --> 00:38:15.440
<v Speaker 2>should be illegal to live in the same city as

670
00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:17.360
<v Speaker 2>your ex when you're going through a breakup.

671
00:38:18.599 --> 00:38:21.840
<v Speaker 1>Could not agree more. That fucking sucked for me with

672
00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:26.440
<v Speaker 1>my first breakup and then my second, like really heart breakup.

673
00:38:27.000 --> 00:38:30.039
<v Speaker 1>She still lives in Amsterdam because we met when I

674
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:32.840
<v Speaker 1>was working and we're good now, but for like a

675
00:38:32.880 --> 00:38:36.039
<v Speaker 1>decade we were not. And living on different continents was

676
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:39.119
<v Speaker 1>the best thing. I cannot recommend it enough if you're

677
00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:43.679
<v Speaker 1>going through heartbreak, being a fully different time zone, different continent,

678
00:38:44.039 --> 00:38:48.480
<v Speaker 1>like your day is there night, it's fucking great. Yeah.

679
00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:53.199
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I also I also think it's super helpful. But

680
00:38:53.239 --> 00:38:54.360
<v Speaker 3>then I got to be single.

681
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:57.199
<v Speaker 1>You know, where did you move to? Where were you

682
00:38:57.239 --> 00:38:59.239
<v Speaker 1>having your single queer experience?

683
00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:03.840
<v Speaker 2>So I was in New York.

684
00:39:03.960 --> 00:39:05.119
<v Speaker 3>I moved to Brooklyn.

685
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, that's a great that's a great place

686
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:09.239
<v Speaker 1>to have.

687
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:12.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I didn't do a ton of I was like

688
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:16.679
<v Speaker 2>there like doing comedy and sort of like messing around

689
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:19.880
<v Speaker 2>that way and like just really losing my mind.

690
00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:22.079
<v Speaker 3>It was just like such a hard time.

691
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:27.159
<v Speaker 2>And and I wasn't doing a ton of dating, but

692
00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.960
<v Speaker 2>I was technically single. And then I did more dating

693
00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:36.239
<v Speaker 2>when I moved back to La okay, and that's where

694
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:39.400
<v Speaker 2>I and then and then I met my ex school

695
00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:42.679
<v Speaker 2>friend and sort of I was like and then I'm

696
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:45.480
<v Speaker 2>dating and then like we got.

697
00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:47.159
<v Speaker 3>Into a serious relationship.

698
00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it really happens. It really happens. That is that

699
00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:55.840
<v Speaker 1>is not your fault. That is just like the ancestors

700
00:39:55.960 --> 00:39:59.440
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. It's in the DNA. But so that was

701
00:39:59.480 --> 00:40:04.880
<v Speaker 1>the former Loyola. Yes, okay, okay, okay, So we have

702
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:09.639
<v Speaker 1>we have first really really tough breakup. We go to Brooklyn.

703
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:12.039
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying we like I'm on your show. Yes we

704
00:40:12.239 --> 00:40:17.079
<v Speaker 1>are Brooklyn Comedy. Not that much dating, but Brooklyn, like

705
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:20.440
<v Speaker 1>a great queer said I would I hope, like did

706
00:40:20.440 --> 00:40:22.079
<v Speaker 1>you feel like totally like.

707
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:25.559
<v Speaker 2>And sort of like beautiful, yeah, and sort of like

708
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:28.280
<v Speaker 2>trying to find myself and being great.

709
00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:31.800
<v Speaker 1>I love that you did that without actively dating a ton. Honestly,

710
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:34.280
<v Speaker 1>I do. I feel like that's I feel like that's

711
00:40:34.280 --> 00:40:37.639
<v Speaker 1>a great thing to do to just like be in

712
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:40.679
<v Speaker 1>immersed in queer culture but not like queer dating for

713
00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:42.719
<v Speaker 1>a little while. That's really cool that you did that.

714
00:40:42.920 --> 00:40:45.880
<v Speaker 2>Whether it was intending, I don't think I was ready

715
00:40:45.920 --> 00:40:48.360
<v Speaker 2>and it was definitely intentional. I was just like, I

716
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:50.679
<v Speaker 2>can't imagine, like the thought of going on a date

717
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:52.360
<v Speaker 2>and made you want to throw up. So I was like,

718
00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:56.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm just not going to And then I went on

719
00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:59.639
<v Speaker 2>like a few dates and yeah, I moved back to

720
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:03.400
<v Speaker 2>and went on a few dates here and then.

721
00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:07.440
<v Speaker 3>And then started.

722
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Dating somebody, uh for like a year?

723
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:19.519
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and did I'm so curious? Did is still she her? For?

724
00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:19.679
<v Speaker 2>For?

725
00:41:20.199 --> 00:41:23.239
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my ex girlfriend? Is she her? Yeah?

726
00:41:23.400 --> 00:41:29.719
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Did she remember you and have any anything to

727
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:31.599
<v Speaker 1>say about that time you met at college?

728
00:41:31.679 --> 00:41:34.559
<v Speaker 3>Was She's like okay, so no, she can't place me

729
00:41:34.599 --> 00:41:36.519
<v Speaker 3>at that party? And I was like, you watched the

730
00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:40.599
<v Speaker 3>Disney that is not I'm like I know. I was like,

731
00:41:40.639 --> 00:41:43.320
<v Speaker 3>we watched a Disney movie together and she goes, you

732
00:41:43.400 --> 00:41:43.840
<v Speaker 3>were there.

733
00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:50.360
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, oh, a white lie doesn't hurt

734
00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:53.800
<v Speaker 1>like good god, because.

735
00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:55.719
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh my god, I remember you. You're so beautiful.

736
00:41:56.639 --> 00:42:01.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, come on, all right, I respect her, honest. Yeah.

737
00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:05.920
<v Speaker 2>So she couldn't place me there and okay, okay, that's

738
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:07.840
<v Speaker 2>that's fine, and you remember her.

739
00:42:07.760 --> 00:42:09.719
<v Speaker 1>But you don't think there was and there was no

740
00:42:10.199 --> 00:42:12.599
<v Speaker 1>like awareness, There was no part of you that was like,

741
00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:15.719
<v Speaker 1>oh she's pretty, okay, wow, YouTube were ships in the night.

742
00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:19.039
<v Speaker 2>We were sort of we were sort of around each

743
00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:22.079
<v Speaker 2>other too in LA because we were both in a

744
00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:26.519
<v Speaker 2>writing group that that met like once a week and

745
00:42:26.599 --> 00:42:28.679
<v Speaker 2>I would go every week and she sort of would

746
00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:32.400
<v Speaker 2>come in and out and and she does she is like,

747
00:42:32.519 --> 00:42:34.280
<v Speaker 2>I did notice you there, like I thought you were

748
00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:35.159
<v Speaker 2>getting pretty.

749
00:42:35.679 --> 00:42:40.599
<v Speaker 3>And but at that point I was just coming out

750
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:43.320
<v Speaker 3>and then immediately partnered.

751
00:42:43.800 --> 00:42:50.639
<v Speaker 1>So there was no okay, gotcha, gotcha? Gotcha? Wow? Okay,

752
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:56.199
<v Speaker 1>oh my goodness. All right. And so I would really

753
00:42:56.239 --> 00:42:59.519
<v Speaker 1>love to know when, because I want to talk about

754
00:42:59.519 --> 00:43:01.119
<v Speaker 1>the videos you do with your mom, because your mom

755
00:43:01.159 --> 00:43:03.679
<v Speaker 1>seemed so cool. When did you come out to her,

756
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:07.119
<v Speaker 1>because you you chose to come out to your brother first,

757
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:09.599
<v Speaker 1>because I guess you guys were so close. Was there

758
00:43:09.639 --> 00:43:13.280
<v Speaker 1>any trepidation about coming out to your mom, or was it, Yeah, well,

759
00:43:13.320 --> 00:43:15.480
<v Speaker 1>there was, there was.

760
00:43:15.679 --> 00:43:20.039
<v Speaker 2>I was a little nervous because I had a really

761
00:43:20.519 --> 00:43:24.880
<v Speaker 2>bad relationship with a guy and she knew about it.

762
00:43:25.159 --> 00:43:29.039
<v Speaker 3>And I think she was very worried for my choices.

763
00:43:29.880 --> 00:43:30.880
<v Speaker 3>And it wasn't really.

764
00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:34.639
<v Speaker 2>About like like whether I was like gay or straight

765
00:43:34.719 --> 00:43:35.480
<v Speaker 2>or any of that.

766
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:37.719
<v Speaker 3>It was like she was.

767
00:43:37.760 --> 00:43:41.320
<v Speaker 2>Very nervous about my dating choices. And I didn't come

768
00:43:41.360 --> 00:43:45.599
<v Speaker 2>out to her until I had been dating.

769
00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:50.599
<v Speaker 3>My I was with I was with my ex. Okay,

770
00:43:50.840 --> 00:43:52.840
<v Speaker 3>so I came out.

771
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:57.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I came out to my mom just like

772
00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:03.159
<v Speaker 2>on this like phone call, and it didn't go well.

773
00:44:03.320 --> 00:44:06.679
<v Speaker 2>It was like I sort of said it like in

774
00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:09.599
<v Speaker 2>like a way that was like, well, I'm dating somebody

775
00:44:09.639 --> 00:44:10.719
<v Speaker 2>and and it's not.

776
00:44:13.480 --> 00:44:15.880
<v Speaker 3>Because because she was so worried, Like she was like,

777
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:18.159
<v Speaker 3>I just need you to like not be dating anyone.

778
00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:21.039
<v Speaker 3>She was like saying that, and I was like, well,

779
00:44:21.159 --> 00:44:23.280
<v Speaker 3>I am dating somebody, but it's not a man.

780
00:44:23.559 --> 00:44:29.559
<v Speaker 2>And I think she was just like, Okay, I don't

781
00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:30.800
<v Speaker 2>know what to do with that.

782
00:44:31.519 --> 00:44:32.599
<v Speaker 1>You know, like.

783
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:36.719
<v Speaker 2>She still felt the same way. She still was like

784
00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:40.360
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want you to be dating somebody, and.

785
00:44:40.280 --> 00:44:43.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, but I don't want to be dating anyone,

786
00:44:43.519 --> 00:44:46.679
<v Speaker 1>Like yeah, that's but then.

787
00:44:48.679 --> 00:44:51.599
<v Speaker 2>There's sort of like a lot of like tragedy sprinkled

788
00:44:51.599 --> 00:44:54.159
<v Speaker 2>throughout my journey. Uh.

789
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:56.320
<v Speaker 3>You know, welcome to being.

790
00:44:56.119 --> 00:44:58.760
<v Speaker 1>Alive, but welcome to comedian.

791
00:44:58.880 --> 00:45:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Also yeah, yeah, my uncle uh was in a coma.

792
00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:11.159
<v Speaker 2>Uh and he passed away, but he was and it

793
00:45:11.239 --> 00:45:14.320
<v Speaker 2>was sort of like all of a sudden, Okay, so uh,

794
00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:18.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, uncle Joe is in a coma in uh in.

795
00:45:18.679 --> 00:45:19.800
<v Speaker 3>Near the Bay Area.

796
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:24.199
<v Speaker 2>You're in LA, like there was we were worried for

797
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:27.119
<v Speaker 2>my cousin who was a lot is a lot older

798
00:45:27.239 --> 00:45:31.239
<v Speaker 2>but had like some addiction issues, and we were worried

799
00:45:31.400 --> 00:45:34.440
<v Speaker 2>for for him. And so it was sort of like,

800
00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:41.559
<v Speaker 2>come now to the Bay Area. So I'm like, I'm

801
00:45:41.639 --> 00:45:46.880
<v Speaker 2>dating my ex fiance at this point, I uh, I

802
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:50.360
<v Speaker 2>leased a car because I didn't have a car, and

803
00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I drove to meet my mom to figure out all

804
00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:59.639
<v Speaker 2>of this shit. And you know, we were good at

805
00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:03.280
<v Speaker 2>like sort of getting people's affairs in order because we

806
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:07.199
<v Speaker 2>had done that with my dad. So you have to

807
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:11.920
<v Speaker 2>like break into like people's accounts essentially.

808
00:46:11.960 --> 00:46:13.320
<v Speaker 3>So you have to like know how to do that,

809
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:16.800
<v Speaker 3>which I don't know how to do.

810
00:46:16.840 --> 00:46:19.880
<v Speaker 1>If that anyone's listening.

811
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:26.559
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, so we were dealing with all of that stuff.

812
00:46:26.719 --> 00:46:30.159
<v Speaker 3>And then my my.

813
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:34.320
<v Speaker 2>Ex was like, knew that I was going through it,

814
00:46:34.440 --> 00:46:38.639
<v Speaker 2>knew that this was like a really horrible time. And uh,

815
00:46:38.679 --> 00:46:41.599
<v Speaker 2>they were like, do you want me to fly to

816
00:46:42.280 --> 00:46:45.039
<v Speaker 2>the Bay Area and then I'll drive your car back?

817
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:48.000
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, yes, I want you to do that.

818
00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:51.280
<v Speaker 3>And at this point we had not been dating for

819
00:46:51.400 --> 00:46:55.920
<v Speaker 3>very long, but wow, but they did that.

820
00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:59.280
<v Speaker 2>They met my mom for the first time doing that,

821
00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:04.280
<v Speaker 2>being that like big thing for her daughter, and I

822
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:08.719
<v Speaker 2>think that really turned around like the the vibe of

823
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:10.480
<v Speaker 2>like I don't want you to be dating. It was

824
00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:14.360
<v Speaker 2>sort of like this person is so kind and will

825
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:18.719
<v Speaker 2>take care of my daughter and and so then it

826
00:47:18.800 --> 00:47:23.480
<v Speaker 2>was like, Okay, smooth sailing, We're not worried about Catherine's choices.

827
00:47:24.039 --> 00:47:28.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's really nice. Yeah, really nice.

828
00:47:28.599 --> 00:47:31.039
<v Speaker 3>And my mom's a huge ally. She like has rainbow

829
00:47:31.320 --> 00:47:37.039
<v Speaker 3>stuff all over She's like constantly yeah.

830
00:47:38.320 --> 00:47:42.079
<v Speaker 1>And you so this particular video did I watch. I

831
00:47:42.079 --> 00:47:43.519
<v Speaker 1>don't know how many have done with her, but you

832
00:47:43.559 --> 00:47:47.440
<v Speaker 1>were playing a game I believe called finger you haul

833
00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:50.079
<v Speaker 1>ghost or I'm pretty sure I got that.

834
00:47:50.239 --> 00:47:56.079
<v Speaker 5>Ye have you just like always been able to talk

835
00:47:56.119 --> 00:47:59.440
<v Speaker 5>to your mob about stuff like fingering or did that

836
00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:01.239
<v Speaker 5>come with I'm like, how are you?

837
00:48:02.199 --> 00:48:05.480
<v Speaker 1>How can you move from this not awesome initial phone

838
00:48:05.480 --> 00:48:07.880
<v Speaker 1>call to like being able.

839
00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:11.719
<v Speaker 2>To well again, it was like always it wasn't like

840
00:48:11.960 --> 00:48:13.920
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't about like who I was having sex with.

841
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:15.599
<v Speaker 3>It was always just sort of about like.

842
00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:20.159
<v Speaker 1>It wasn't still it was the choice of this yeah yeah.

843
00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:21.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was the choice of where I was putting

844
00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:25.519
<v Speaker 3>the finger and who the person was.

845
00:48:25.679 --> 00:48:32.599
<v Speaker 2>But but talking about sex was not It just like

846
00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:35.360
<v Speaker 2>wasn't like frowned upon. But it also wasn't like done

847
00:48:35.400 --> 00:48:40.559
<v Speaker 2>a lot in my family. But I have a my

848
00:48:40.639 --> 00:48:43.920
<v Speaker 2>mom's just awesome, and I just like she's just like

849
00:48:44.079 --> 00:48:46.760
<v Speaker 2>great and that is just a game that I play

850
00:48:47.079 --> 00:48:51.360
<v Speaker 2>in pretty gay uh in the show. And so I

851
00:48:51.400 --> 00:48:53.719
<v Speaker 2>was like, Okay, maybe this will be fun to do

852
00:48:53.840 --> 00:48:58.079
<v Speaker 2>with my mom. And then I was like, oh god,

853
00:48:58.280 --> 00:49:01.800
<v Speaker 2>because like you're listening to your mom like, yeah, so

854
00:49:02.559 --> 00:49:07.639
<v Speaker 2>I would a finger Robert Redford, I would you know,

855
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:08.400
<v Speaker 2>You're like.

856
00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:14.559
<v Speaker 1>Good God, wait, yeah, yeah, it's a two way street.

857
00:49:14.599 --> 00:49:16.760
<v Speaker 1>If you're gonna talk to your mom, I figure she's

858
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:19.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna talk to you about finger. God, that's so beautiful.

859
00:49:20.039 --> 00:49:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I really I love that journey for the two of you.

860
00:49:23.079 --> 00:49:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but we were just like laughing so much about it. Yeah,

861
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:28.840
<v Speaker 2>and it was just like we just have so much

862
00:49:28.840 --> 00:49:33.119
<v Speaker 2>fun together, and so it was sort of like, well,

863
00:49:33.159 --> 00:49:35.239
<v Speaker 2>of course I'm gonna play this finger you haul goes

864
00:49:35.320 --> 00:49:36.199
<v Speaker 2>game with my mother?

865
00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh god? And so yeah, so we're talking about pretty gay.

866
00:49:40.920 --> 00:49:44.679
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to talk to you about, like, yeah, how

867
00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:48.400
<v Speaker 1>did you start doing that show? Uh, just like the

868
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Genesis all that, And I would really love to hear

869
00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:54.320
<v Speaker 1>about the choice and then how it went shooting with

870
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:56.719
<v Speaker 1>an ex the Was this the first time you had

871
00:49:56.719 --> 00:50:00.000
<v Speaker 1>had an X on? Is this this upcoming season? Yeah?

872
00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:02.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, okay awesome because I don't have a ton

873
00:50:02.320 --> 00:50:03.840
<v Speaker 2>of access, to be honest.

874
00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:07.239
<v Speaker 1>Sam, Yeah, I hear no. Yeah, the clips I've seen

875
00:50:07.320 --> 00:50:10.000
<v Speaker 1>are so funny, and that definitely stood out in the trailer.

876
00:50:10.039 --> 00:50:13.599
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, that's a good subscribe.

877
00:50:14.519 --> 00:50:14.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

878
00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:17.880
<v Speaker 2>And and right now her episode is sort of like

879
00:50:18.039 --> 00:50:20.000
<v Speaker 2>slotted to be one of the later ones.

880
00:50:20.719 --> 00:50:29.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so there's still yeah.

881
00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:28.199
<v Speaker 3>I'll say that. Like when I was doing it, I

882
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:29.719
<v Speaker 3>was like, oh, man.

883
00:50:30.840 --> 00:50:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Like this is probably going to be hard to like edit,

884
00:50:35.199 --> 00:50:37.199
<v Speaker 2>and I don't do the head any but like to

885
00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:41.320
<v Speaker 2>do like to be watching and like doing the clips

886
00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:45.400
<v Speaker 2>and all that jazz. Sure, sure, but she's really funny

887
00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:48.199
<v Speaker 2>and she's gay, and so I was like, yeah, absolutely

888
00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:49.599
<v Speaker 2>be on the show.

889
00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:53.000
<v Speaker 1>But can you, like, for people who aren't familiar with it,

890
00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:56.079
<v Speaker 1>can you describe like the like then the elevator pitch

891
00:50:56.119 --> 00:50:56.880
<v Speaker 1>for a pretty gig? No?

892
00:50:57.079 --> 00:51:01.599
<v Speaker 2>Totally, Yeah, So Pretty Gay is it's a digital uh

893
00:51:01.880 --> 00:51:07.039
<v Speaker 2>dating series essentially where I go on mock dates with

894
00:51:07.320 --> 00:51:13.760
<v Speaker 2>queer comedians and creators and uh, we have segments it's

895
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:18.480
<v Speaker 2>like an interview where we're playing like improv games.

896
00:51:18.320 --> 00:51:21.559
<v Speaker 3>Or you know what. Every date needs an improv game.

897
00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:24.559
<v Speaker 1>Some of them could be honestly.

898
00:51:24.760 --> 00:51:25.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

899
00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:27.000
<v Speaker 2>So we're just sort of like I talk about like

900
00:51:27.559 --> 00:51:30.960
<v Speaker 2>they're coming out, We talk about like their queer awakening,

901
00:51:31.159 --> 00:51:35.039
<v Speaker 2>and then we sort of dive into we dive into

902
00:51:35.079 --> 00:51:36.559
<v Speaker 2>segments that feel like.

903
00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:41.199
<v Speaker 3>Date adjacent, you know, like it'll.

904
00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Be like, Okay, so we're in the car, it's the

905
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:48.119
<v Speaker 2>end of the date and you want to make a move.

906
00:51:48.280 --> 00:51:50.800
<v Speaker 2>How do you make that move go? And then like

907
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:53.039
<v Speaker 2>and then we like act that out and be like.

908
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:56.280
<v Speaker 1>Wow, you do you do an act out? As we

909
00:51:56.320 --> 00:52:02.119
<v Speaker 1>would call it okay, Wow, that's great. Okay, yeah, or.

910
00:52:02.119 --> 00:52:06.639
<v Speaker 2>Like, okay, so we've been dating for you know, years,

911
00:52:06.719 --> 00:52:08.519
<v Speaker 2>and now you want to propose to me.

912
00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:14.239
<v Speaker 1>Go wow, So I mean I have to ask, have

913
00:52:14.280 --> 00:52:19.400
<v Speaker 1>you ever ended up dating somebody who you had on

914
00:52:19.480 --> 00:52:21.440
<v Speaker 1>the show? Did it ever lead to like.

915
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:29.559
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean I I mean I did reconnect with

916
00:52:29.800 --> 00:52:33.639
<v Speaker 2>that X from having her like on the show.

917
00:52:34.360 --> 00:52:38.719
<v Speaker 3>So so it's.

918
00:52:38.599 --> 00:52:41.159
<v Speaker 1>Never like, oh my god, we're pretending, but it feels

919
00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:41.679
<v Speaker 1>so right.

920
00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:44.480
<v Speaker 2>And then you like there's definitely like a little flirting,

921
00:52:44.639 --> 00:52:47.440
<v Speaker 2>and that feels like sometimes I will I will say like,

922
00:52:47.559 --> 00:52:49.440
<v Speaker 2>as the host, I'm sort of like, oh my god,

923
00:52:50.519 --> 00:52:51.639
<v Speaker 2>are we in love?

924
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:55.679
<v Speaker 1>And fucking great? God bless you for calling it out?

925
00:52:55.840 --> 00:53:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Love that, and and it does like sometimes feel very

926
00:53:02.119 --> 00:53:06.400
<v Speaker 2>real and yeah, and then I'm like confused afterwards. But

927
00:53:06.719 --> 00:53:10.719
<v Speaker 2>a lot of there are like I won't say a lot,

928
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:14.360
<v Speaker 2>but there's a handful of guests who like are already partnered.

929
00:53:14.119 --> 00:53:19.079
<v Speaker 3>And they like totally you know, and so I'll.

930
00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:22.559
<v Speaker 2>Be like, wait, were we flirting or are you just

931
00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:23.920
<v Speaker 2>sort of a really good guest?

932
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:29.079
<v Speaker 1>I okay, I might cut this chunk because it might

933
00:53:29.199 --> 00:53:31.519
<v Speaker 1>just be like a lot about Lauren and this is

934
00:53:31.559 --> 00:53:35.400
<v Speaker 1>not a podcast for hearing about me, but I did

935
00:53:35.559 --> 00:53:38.360
<v Speaker 1>for many years, like on and off, but for a

936
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:42.480
<v Speaker 1>number of years in immersive one person show that was

937
00:53:42.519 --> 00:53:46.440
<v Speaker 1>called Red Flags. Did it the Hollywood Fringe Festival a bunch,

938
00:53:46.480 --> 00:53:49.280
<v Speaker 1>and then like did it on a little tour in Denver,

939
00:53:50.639 --> 00:53:55.559
<v Speaker 1>and so the conceit was, and it was written and

940
00:53:55.599 --> 00:53:58.159
<v Speaker 1>directed by a friend of mine who does like a

941
00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:01.719
<v Speaker 1>lot of immersive theater work. Although it was the idea

942
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:04.960
<v Speaker 1>for it came out of my dating experiences as a

943
00:54:04.960 --> 00:54:07.039
<v Speaker 1>single person, because she was married and I would like

944
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:09.840
<v Speaker 1>text her about these like shitty days that she'd be like,

945
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:13.159
<v Speaker 1>this is great. Ended up making a show about it.

946
00:54:13.239 --> 00:54:15.800
<v Speaker 1>And the conceit was, you are going on a first

947
00:54:15.880 --> 00:54:20.840
<v Speaker 1>date with a girl, Emma, who you know you met online.

948
00:54:20.880 --> 00:54:23.360
<v Speaker 1>This is your first date. It's going to go badly,

949
00:54:23.719 --> 00:54:25.800
<v Speaker 1>and it's called Red Flags, so they know. And then

950
00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:28.559
<v Speaker 1>my character proceeds to be a hot mess. There's obviously

951
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:31.519
<v Speaker 1>a shit ton of improv because there's no audience. It's

952
00:54:31.599 --> 00:54:34.599
<v Speaker 1>me and one audience member who was also in the

953
00:54:34.639 --> 00:54:37.760
<v Speaker 1>show with me. They were done. The shows were like

954
00:54:37.840 --> 00:54:40.239
<v Speaker 1>in bars or like in parks or wherever, so it

955
00:54:40.360 --> 00:54:43.039
<v Speaker 1>was like a real date and there was a script,

956
00:54:43.039 --> 00:54:47.199
<v Speaker 1>but again a ton of improva and they're doing this

957
00:54:47.280 --> 00:54:50.440
<v Speaker 1>show like countless times with both men and women, Like

958
00:54:51.159 --> 00:54:54.960
<v Speaker 1>there were a couple where I was like, I think

959
00:54:55.079 --> 00:54:58.159
<v Speaker 1>we actually fell in love, and then my director writer

960
00:54:58.239 --> 00:55:01.519
<v Speaker 1>would be like, they are married and took their wedding

961
00:55:01.599 --> 00:55:03.199
<v Speaker 1>ring off to go on the show, and I'd be

962
00:55:03.239 --> 00:55:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like cool, cool, cool, like, but they were like when

963
00:55:05.880 --> 00:55:08.840
<v Speaker 1>I first started doing the show, I was so concerned

964
00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:10.559
<v Speaker 1>for the audience member. I was like, I don't want

965
00:55:10.559 --> 00:55:12.400
<v Speaker 1>to manipulate them or like make them a friend. And

966
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:14.440
<v Speaker 1>then over the course of doing the show, I realized

967
00:55:14.559 --> 00:55:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I was.

968
00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:19.519
<v Speaker 3>The one actually if you were getting I have this

969
00:55:19.599 --> 00:55:20.960
<v Speaker 3>authentic experience.

970
00:55:21.280 --> 00:55:24.360
<v Speaker 1>And then find out that they I once did a

971
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:27.559
<v Speaker 1>couple back to back and didn't know until my producer

972
00:55:27.599 --> 00:55:30.119
<v Speaker 1>told me. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, they were married.

973
00:55:30.280 --> 00:55:32.840
<v Speaker 1>Did you You're seven and you're nine o'clock were married.

974
00:55:32.880 --> 00:55:37.719
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, fuck, oh my, so I feel you.

975
00:55:38.039 --> 00:55:41.159
<v Speaker 1>I feel you on that like, oh this feels like

976
00:55:41.239 --> 00:55:43.079
<v Speaker 1>really real, and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no.

977
00:55:43.239 --> 00:55:47.000
<v Speaker 1>They were just like they just are a big theater appreciator,

978
00:55:47.559 --> 00:55:49.960
<v Speaker 1>like they were really locked in with me.

979
00:55:51.159 --> 00:55:56.039
<v Speaker 2>No, absolutely, that's like messy, and you're also like, well,

980
00:55:56.119 --> 00:55:59.800
<v Speaker 2>like you were saying, you were playing a character, but

981
00:56:00.119 --> 00:56:02.960
<v Speaker 2>I am. I'm both myself, but I'm also this like

982
00:56:03.079 --> 00:56:04.480
<v Speaker 2>host character like I have.

983
00:56:04.400 --> 00:56:07.679
<v Speaker 1>To Yes, You're like, my job is to.

984
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:09.679
<v Speaker 3>Actually fall in love with all these people.

985
00:56:09.920 --> 00:56:10.320
<v Speaker 1>That is.

986
00:56:12.639 --> 00:56:16.760
<v Speaker 2>So so then when you're like, wait are we Like

987
00:56:16.840 --> 00:56:20.719
<v Speaker 2>there's one guest who totally took me off guard.

988
00:56:20.519 --> 00:56:24.239
<v Speaker 3>And said, well, how do we stay in touch? And

989
00:56:24.320 --> 00:56:28.239
<v Speaker 3>I was like wait what because it was.

990
00:56:28.679 --> 00:56:33.280
<v Speaker 2>The cameras were rolling and I'm like is this are

991
00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:37.639
<v Speaker 2>you actually asking or are you sort of like doing

992
00:56:37.679 --> 00:56:41.159
<v Speaker 2>a great bit because it was also a great bit.

993
00:56:41.760 --> 00:56:47.519
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's so yeah, yeah, I love I

994
00:56:47.599 --> 00:56:50.199
<v Speaker 1>meet so few people who can understand that experience and

995
00:56:50.280 --> 00:56:51.920
<v Speaker 1>you like a hundred percent get it.

996
00:56:52.039 --> 00:56:55.840
<v Speaker 2>I love yes, and you're yeah and so like it

997
00:56:55.920 --> 00:56:58.800
<v Speaker 2>is fun though. It's so fun to like then be

998
00:56:58.840 --> 00:57:03.400
<v Speaker 2>able to like relive going on these like fantastic dates

999
00:57:03.559 --> 00:57:06.559
<v Speaker 2>through like releasing clips and things like that, and it's

1000
00:57:06.639 --> 00:57:10.760
<v Speaker 2>like it it is sort of like, uh, I feel

1001
00:57:10.760 --> 00:57:15.480
<v Speaker 2>like I've tricked everyone into like letting me do something

1002
00:57:15.480 --> 00:57:19.400
<v Speaker 2>that's literally so fun and like oh you get.

1003
00:57:19.199 --> 00:57:22.920
<v Speaker 3>To like laugh and laugh and laugh and meet like cool.

1004
00:57:22.920 --> 00:57:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Queer creators like, yeah, it's it's been a dream to

1005
00:57:27.519 --> 00:57:28.280
<v Speaker 2>be able to do.

1006
00:57:29.840 --> 00:57:31.639
<v Speaker 3>And and I have.

1007
00:57:31.960 --> 00:57:37.400
<v Speaker 2>I have yet to fall in love and actually date

1008
00:57:37.599 --> 00:57:38.159
<v Speaker 2>any of my.

1009
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:41.639
<v Speaker 1>And same with me on this podcast. It's like six

1010
00:57:41.760 --> 00:57:47.039
<v Speaker 1>years and I I feel I feel like I failed.

1011
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:49.199
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yeah, I hear you.

1012
00:57:49.320 --> 00:57:51.800
<v Speaker 5>I've been I've been doing it three times longer than

1013
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:53.280
<v Speaker 5>you and have yet.

1014
00:57:53.079 --> 00:57:54.880
<v Speaker 1>To get a serious relationship out of it. So I

1015
00:57:54.920 --> 00:57:57.400
<v Speaker 1>wish you better luck than I have had not the

1016
00:57:57.559 --> 00:57:59.840
<v Speaker 1>bounce wnicle when I started the podcast, but it was

1017
00:58:02.079 --> 00:58:04.360
<v Speaker 1>it was sort of a secret for both of us.

1018
00:58:04.440 --> 00:58:06.360
<v Speaker 1>We were both like, one of these is how I'm

1019
00:58:06.360 --> 00:58:10.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna She's already like married, and like she's like, what

1020
00:58:10.159 --> 00:58:11.519
<v Speaker 1>if this is how you get a girlfriend?

1021
00:58:12.280 --> 00:58:14.679
<v Speaker 2>But this is not how it went down but truly,

1022
00:58:14.960 --> 00:58:17.079
<v Speaker 2>and then you just end up like being like, oh no,

1023
00:58:17.199 --> 00:58:20.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like sort of creating this like great world and.

1024
00:58:22.079 --> 00:58:26.400
<v Speaker 1>I made a resource that's the Trevor Project listed and

1025
00:58:26.440 --> 00:58:29.719
<v Speaker 1>their resources, but I didn't cool friend.

1026
00:58:29.599 --> 00:58:32.559
<v Speaker 3>So like, but I didn't get a girlfriend, So I failed.

1027
00:58:33.360 --> 00:58:36.400
<v Speaker 1>Familiar Yeah, but I fucking all the clips I've seen

1028
00:58:36.440 --> 00:58:40.559
<v Speaker 1>are so funny and just like so engaging, and I'm

1029
00:58:40.639 --> 00:58:44.440
<v Speaker 1>so yeah, I'm excited to watch also for these moments

1030
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:46.960
<v Speaker 1>where I'm gonna be like, is she like really feeling

1031
00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:47.280
<v Speaker 1>so good?

1032
00:58:48.079 --> 00:58:48.559
<v Speaker 3>Actually?

1033
00:58:48.800 --> 00:58:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I know, Well it's interesting because it'll be interesting to

1034
00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:56.840
<v Speaker 2>like sort of watch back my access episode because like

1035
00:58:57.559 --> 00:59:01.079
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if I'm being totally transparent, like I was

1036
00:59:01.559 --> 00:59:07.159
<v Speaker 2>still in love with her, like yeah, sort of still

1037
00:59:07.199 --> 00:59:11.480
<v Speaker 2>am sort of just you know, that's sort of my vibe.

1038
00:59:11.559 --> 00:59:16.719
<v Speaker 1>My vibe is like, like I love long Ago so much.

1039
00:59:17.400 --> 00:59:18.639
<v Speaker 1>How long Ago breakup?

1040
00:59:18.840 --> 00:59:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's like one of those things that's like like

1041
00:59:24.719 --> 00:59:25.280
<v Speaker 2>on again.

1042
00:59:25.679 --> 00:59:28.880
<v Speaker 3>It has been. It has been a little bit of

1043
00:59:28.920 --> 00:59:32.960
<v Speaker 3>a seesaw but gotcha. But I'm the I'm the one

1044
00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:35.079
<v Speaker 3>who like ended it because.

1045
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:42.159
<v Speaker 2>Because I actually have terrible work life balance and and

1046
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:44.039
<v Speaker 2>you know, I was like going to Edinburgh and I

1047
00:59:44.159 --> 00:59:48.639
<v Speaker 2>just like, I'm sure if I was talking to a

1048
00:59:48.719 --> 00:59:51.079
<v Speaker 2>therapist who looked at my entire life, they would be like,

1049
00:59:51.159 --> 00:59:53.440
<v Speaker 2>and you have major commitment issues.

1050
00:59:56.360 --> 01:00:01.679
<v Speaker 1>Well, fortunately I have no qualification, so I am at all.

1051
01:00:02.320 --> 01:00:07.320
<v Speaker 2>No, You're perfect and everybody never change. Yeah, so I

1052
01:00:07.320 --> 01:00:10.880
<v Speaker 2>guess technically it's been like a few months since we Oh.

1053
01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:14.480
<v Speaker 1>God, that's so yeah, that's so wow. So yeah, I mean,

1054
01:00:14.599 --> 01:00:18.360
<v Speaker 1>having really cool that you had her on.

1055
01:00:18.639 --> 01:00:21.760
<v Speaker 6>I love people who are like this might be hard emotionally,

1056
01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:24.639
<v Speaker 6>but it'll be so funny. Like that's so like people

1057
01:00:24.639 --> 01:00:27.719
<v Speaker 6>who place the importance of the bit over their own

1058
01:00:27.760 --> 01:00:30.760
<v Speaker 6>emotional safety. Like that is how I roll one hundred percent,

1059
01:00:30.880 --> 01:00:32.159
<v Speaker 6>and I respect.

1060
01:00:31.719 --> 01:00:39.599
<v Speaker 1>It for content always always always always, Yeah I once, yeah,

1061
01:00:39.599 --> 01:00:42.480
<v Speaker 1>we died. My way through a breakup would just be like, oh,

1062
01:00:42.559 --> 01:00:44.159
<v Speaker 1>credit Trader Joe's again.

1063
01:00:44.119 --> 01:00:47.800
<v Speaker 2>Like I love that, Yes, you got That's sometimes what

1064
01:00:47.840 --> 01:00:52.280
<v Speaker 2>you need, and like, yeah, comedy's healing, and you know

1065
01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:56.400
<v Speaker 2>she's a comedian also, and uh and so she was

1066
01:00:56.440 --> 01:00:58.519
<v Speaker 2>like so down, you know, she was like, yeah, of

1067
01:00:58.559 --> 01:00:59.400
<v Speaker 2>course let's do this.

1068
01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:05.480
<v Speaker 1>I love that. Okay, So how can people watch season

1069
01:01:05.559 --> 01:01:09.320
<v Speaker 1>two of Pretty Gay, which is currently releasing episodes at

1070
01:01:09.360 --> 01:01:11.239
<v Speaker 1>the time that you're listening to this, or it'll be

1071
01:01:11.280 --> 01:01:13.199
<v Speaker 1>a few out, but it'll still be pretty early in

1072
01:01:13.239 --> 01:01:16.079
<v Speaker 1>the season. So yeah, and please let folks know how

1073
01:01:16.079 --> 01:01:18.360
<v Speaker 1>they can follow you and also watch your stand up

1074
01:01:18.400 --> 01:01:20.519
<v Speaker 1>and just all the plug all these things.

1075
01:01:21.119 --> 01:01:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so plugging all the things. You can watch Pretty

1076
01:01:24.400 --> 01:01:29.079
<v Speaker 2>Gay on Patreon. So it's like they patreon dot com

1077
01:01:29.079 --> 01:01:33.079
<v Speaker 2>slash pretty gay, uh, and you it is.

1078
01:01:33.039 --> 01:01:34.960
<v Speaker 3>Behind a paywall, so you have to subscribe.

1079
01:01:35.079 --> 01:01:39.840
<v Speaker 2>There is a h seven day free trial though, so

1080
01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:42.559
<v Speaker 2>you know you can. You can do that and then

1081
01:01:42.639 --> 01:01:45.039
<v Speaker 2>try to cram in as much content and then decide

1082
01:01:45.039 --> 01:01:47.400
<v Speaker 2>whether or not you want to, you know, sort of

1083
01:01:47.400 --> 01:01:48.639
<v Speaker 2>give me five dollars a month.

1084
01:01:48.840 --> 01:01:50.199
<v Speaker 3>I would say it's worth it.

1085
01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:53.400
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a fair trade. Yeah, based on behind

1086
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:56.480
<v Speaker 1>the scenes we've heard, I feel like that's well worth it.

1087
01:01:57.559 --> 01:02:00.039
<v Speaker 2>And then if you follow me online, that's where I

1088
01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:03.199
<v Speaker 2>post clips, and we we make a lot of clips

1089
01:02:03.239 --> 01:02:05.639
<v Speaker 2>at the show. So if you're sort of hard up

1090
01:02:05.679 --> 01:02:07.800
<v Speaker 2>on cash and you just want to watch the clips,

1091
01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:11.920
<v Speaker 2>please do that and just follow me at Catherine Underscore

1092
01:02:12.239 --> 01:02:17.159
<v Speaker 2>MCAF and that is on Instagram and on TikTok and

1093
01:02:17.199 --> 01:02:20.920
<v Speaker 2>then there we do also post YouTube shorts and that

1094
01:02:20.960 --> 01:02:25.599
<v Speaker 2>would also be on pretty gay YouTube channel fantastic.

1095
01:02:25.920 --> 01:02:28.039
<v Speaker 1>And I assume that following you is how folks can

1096
01:02:28.039 --> 01:02:30.360
<v Speaker 1>find out about like your stand up days.

1097
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:33.039
<v Speaker 2>Stand up my Yeah, I'm gonna try to tour my

1098
01:02:33.119 --> 01:02:33.840
<v Speaker 2>solo show.

1099
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:36.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, So I'm trying.

1100
01:02:36.719 --> 01:02:40.280
<v Speaker 2>To book dates for that, and uh, if you just

1101
01:02:40.280 --> 01:02:42.800
<v Speaker 2>follow me online, I'll tell you where I am and

1102
01:02:42.840 --> 01:02:45.079
<v Speaker 2>then you can come all.

1103
01:02:45.079 --> 01:02:49.199
<v Speaker 1>Right, And Catherine before we like fully wrap up. Is

1104
01:02:49.239 --> 01:02:51.840
<v Speaker 1>there anything we didn't get to that that you want

1105
01:02:51.840 --> 01:02:54.880
<v Speaker 1>to say or like any like yeah, anything that we

1106
01:02:54.960 --> 01:02:57.559
<v Speaker 1>didn't hit that you're like, I wish I wish I

1107
01:02:57.599 --> 01:02:58.760
<v Speaker 1>could say, Oh gosh, no.

1108
01:02:58.920 --> 01:03:01.599
<v Speaker 3>I don't think so that was like perfect. I'm actually

1109
01:03:01.599 --> 01:03:04.639
<v Speaker 3>like sort of going through the rollodecks being like, did

1110
01:03:04.639 --> 01:03:05.559
<v Speaker 3>I say anything weird?

1111
01:03:07.079 --> 01:03:07.880
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

1112
01:03:08.039 --> 01:03:10.599
<v Speaker 2>No, I yeah, I don't think that we missed anything

1113
01:03:10.679 --> 01:03:14.000
<v Speaker 2>other than just like I will say that I have

1114
01:03:14.159 --> 01:03:16.280
<v Speaker 2>this moment a lot where I just am sort of

1115
01:03:16.360 --> 01:03:18.599
<v Speaker 2>like walking around and then it hits me, like how

1116
01:03:18.639 --> 01:03:19.800
<v Speaker 2>cool it is to be gay.

1117
01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:23.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't think that.

1118
01:03:23.400 --> 01:03:27.000
<v Speaker 2>I used to feel like that, like or I just didn't.

1119
01:03:27.760 --> 01:03:32.960
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't like fully like embrace all of myself

1120
01:03:33.280 --> 01:03:38.519
<v Speaker 2>and until like later, I think until like I got

1121
01:03:38.559 --> 01:03:42.599
<v Speaker 2>out of until my engagement like ended, and I got

1122
01:03:42.599 --> 01:03:45.039
<v Speaker 2>to sort of be like in the world and just

1123
01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:49.719
<v Speaker 2>be gay and be like, wait a second, this is cool.

1124
01:03:50.079 --> 01:03:54.719
<v Speaker 2>Like people are gonna say, like it's harder, but it's

1125
01:03:54.800 --> 01:03:57.760
<v Speaker 2>just like it's just so cool. And I'm so lucky

1126
01:03:57.800 --> 01:04:02.159
<v Speaker 2>because I live in Los Angeles where like people aren't

1127
01:04:02.320 --> 01:04:05.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, trying to murder me. And I'm also so

1128
01:04:05.519 --> 01:04:10.639
<v Speaker 2>lucky because I'm a CIS woman and uh and so

1129
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:13.679
<v Speaker 2>like I think, yeah, I think I know how lucky

1130
01:04:13.679 --> 01:04:15.519
<v Speaker 2>I am, and I think.

1131
01:04:15.400 --> 01:04:15.880
<v Speaker 3>We all.

1132
01:04:17.360 --> 01:04:20.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm happy that like I'm on this journey and

1133
01:04:20.800 --> 01:04:24.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm on this boat with like all my queer and

1134
01:04:25.920 --> 01:04:28.400
<v Speaker 2>like with all my like queer friends that I don't

1135
01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:31.960
<v Speaker 2>even know yet, you know, So, like I just think

1136
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:33.239
<v Speaker 2>it's really cool.

1137
01:04:34.360 --> 01:04:37.679
<v Speaker 1>Ah, that is a perfect I'm so glad I asked

1138
01:04:37.679 --> 01:04:40.519
<v Speaker 1>because that is that is a perfect thing to end

1139
01:04:40.599 --> 01:04:44.559
<v Speaker 1>on y'all. You know you know how to follow me.

1140
01:04:44.559 --> 01:04:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I am at Laurene Flowns on Twitter. Yeah, I'm still

1141
01:04:47.360 --> 01:04:51.559
<v Speaker 1>on it. That's my addiction. I'm Lauren Underscore Flanns on Instagram.

1142
01:04:51.559 --> 01:04:55.039
<v Speaker 1>The podcast is at Coming Out pod everywhere. Hey, you

1143
01:04:55.079 --> 01:04:58.280
<v Speaker 1>know what's fun leaving reviews or clicking five stars out

1144
01:04:58.320 --> 01:05:00.639
<v Speaker 1>of a choice of five stars. You can do that

1145
01:05:00.679 --> 01:05:03.400
<v Speaker 1>on iTunes. You can do that on Spotify. What else

1146
01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:05.599
<v Speaker 1>do I say? At these wrap ups? It's been a while.

1147
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:08.360
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I feel like I hit the important things.

1148
01:05:09.000 --> 01:05:14.480
<v Speaker 1>So one more episode coming at you later in the month. Catherine,

1149
01:05:14.480 --> 01:05:17.320
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. This was so goddamn fun. You

1150
01:05:17.400 --> 01:05:20.880
<v Speaker 1>are so fun. I'm excited to watch Pretty Gay and

1151
01:05:21.119 --> 01:05:23.239
<v Speaker 1>just yeah, this was really awesome. Thank you for coming O.

1152
01:05:23.960 --> 01:05:24.840
<v Speaker 3>Yes, thank you.

1153
01:05:25.239 --> 01:05:28.199
<v Speaker 1>All right, y'all, I will talk to you next time

1154
01:05:28.239 --> 01:05:31.880
<v Speaker 1>I talk to you. Bye.