Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud is River Scott and Mike
Speaker 1: Benyon row So I.
Speaker 2: Talked too, but that was Tuesday morning and it's not
Speaker 2: gone down yet. Hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud, your
Speaker 2: lighthearted weekly look at the world through a slightly glittery kaleidoscope.
Speaker 2: I'm River Scott, and here with me this week is
Speaker 2: my close personal friend and astrologer Mike Benyon Rowe. How
Speaker 2: are you doing, Mike? What You're not my astrologer or
Speaker 2: you're not my close personal friend? Which of those was
Speaker 2: offending you?
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, I don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: what's holding around Jurinus.
Speaker 2: This has been fun. Goodbye next week? All right then
Speaker 2: if you don't want to talk about planetary alignments and
Speaker 2: all that on the tree alignments, yeah okay, no different, Okay,
Speaker 2: such a Libra thing to say. Anyway, what are you
Speaker 2: bringings this week? Mike?
Speaker 1: Well, this week I bring you a story about kinks.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about Ben's in hose pipe. Before we
Speaker 1: get all physical on a can in Crafty Queens.
Speaker 2: Oh dear, we even have a game you can play
Speaker 2: along with us as well. But on screen now you
Speaker 2: can see our contact details is the could TV on
Speaker 2: all of your social media's and if you want to bing's,
Speaker 2: you can catch up on previous episodes by searching on
Speaker 2: the youtubees for Chewing the cud.
Speaker 1: You can see the names of people reached out and
Speaker 1: touched our souls going along the bottom of the screen.
Speaker 1: But now it's time of a river in the showbiz.
Speaker 1: Jerry Horner sat in the corner eating her curtainway wish.
Speaker 2: She would she shut up if she did that, wouldn't she? Anyway?
Speaker 2: She is one of the she was many many years ago,
Speaker 2: one of the spies girls. That's pretty much it. She's
Speaker 2: still talking, is the thing? Like, she's hinting at a
Speaker 2: full blown Spy Skirls reunion, including Posh, including well, she
Speaker 2: says it'd be great if Posh was What was that
Speaker 2: she actually said? Hang on, what did she say?
Speaker 1: There? She is blending in nices with the background christ
Speaker 1: floating head.
Speaker 2: She looks dead well yeah, oh dear, anyway, yeah did
Speaker 2: the spy skills? She wants all five members to return,
Speaker 2: which is nice. I love all these stories. Always to
Speaker 2: me whenever they're like, oh, hints are to full Spy
Speaker 2: Skulls reunion? What she's saying, is I've run out of money,
Speaker 2: Like it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.
Speaker 2: She's she's not got enough money or enough attention recently.
Speaker 2: So now we've all got to do this big thing
Speaker 2: about getting excited about the Spice Girls reunion that is
Speaker 2: or is not going to happen. And I could not
Speaker 2: care less either way. Mike, how do you feel?
Speaker 1: Why do you not tell her how you really feel?
Speaker 1: Take off the guy?
Speaker 3: The guys, Well, you know.
Speaker 1: What I loved was because they came back to the Olympics.
Speaker 2: They did, and that was ridiculous. Victoria was there for
Speaker 2: the picture was Yeah, she just stood there emotionless and
Speaker 2: she's absolutely nothing her normal accent. Yeah, so they're on
Speaker 2: top of taxi as well, Right, they all came on
Speaker 2: and they were all doing like who do you think
Speaker 2: you are? And she just stood there absolutely just like
Speaker 2: and then they drove off and that was it, and
Speaker 2: she got paid millions of pounds for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then they did a tour after that, didn't
Speaker 1: They Little Spy Skills e tour. But she didn't get
Speaker 1: involved because she knows that I don't need the money.
Speaker 1: Love I've got David Beckham.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was off like having a life and like
Speaker 2: doing my own ship, but then I stopped.
Speaker 1: Very handsome kids. Me.
Speaker 2: I've had several handsome several people's handsome kids. But that's
Speaker 2: not the story.
Speaker 1: Victoria Beckham.
Speaker 2: I've not had her kids as far as I know,
Speaker 2: I don't remember. You'd think you'd hope. Yeah, they all
Speaker 2: blur after a while. Anyway, they're doing it, she was,
Speaker 2: they're not doing she wants to do a full on
Speaker 2: spy Skills reunion, but it is as likely as it
Speaker 2: was the last million times. Apparently the group last reunited
Speaker 2: for Victoria's fiftieth birthday Brackets off stage, they went for
Speaker 2: a drink, and for some reason that was news.
Speaker 1: Where where they got the local pub or they go
Speaker 1: out someone nice?
Speaker 2: They probably I got a spoons. Can you hang on?
Speaker 2: What would the thirtieth anniversary reunion mean to you, Mike?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know. I'm not old enough to have one.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty nine.
Speaker 2: Should they release new music or just celebrate straight like
Speaker 2: twenty nine?
Speaker 1: I'm ignoring that line smoothing straight on?
Speaker 2: I mean, I can, we can? Do you want to
Speaker 2: do that? Do you want me to not ignore that line.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a lie. It's true. I had a very
Speaker 1: hard life. What I've had a very hard life, dear?
Speaker 2: Should they release new music or just celebrate the legacy
Speaker 2: those of you two? Apparently shut up and move on
Speaker 2: is not one of the options.
Speaker 1: Cool. I would quite like that to be a slight reunion,
Speaker 1: so they all get together and hate each other again.
Speaker 2: All right? That was yeah, and didn't Jerry bang Melby?
Speaker 2: Wasn't that allegedly allegedly allegedly allegedly allegedly? Yeah, sorry, I
Speaker 2: don't want to get you in trouble.
Speaker 1: It's not me that said it, you that said it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not my show, right anyway, crashing on, Bob
Speaker 2: the drag Queen is now Bob the Author. They become
Speaker 2: a New York Times bestseller with bold novel, which isn't
Speaker 2: anything to do with washatted powder the types. You need
Speaker 2: less words because you're taking more space. You've got bigger
Speaker 2: page count. Yeah, no, it needs to.
Speaker 1: Be a three page essay.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's called Harriet Tubman live in concert. Sorry, Harriet
Speaker 2: Tubman colon live in concert a colonline in concert. It
Speaker 2: is a fixed or reimagining where Harriet Tubman is resurrected
Speaker 2: in the modern era to fight oppression through hip hop
Speaker 2: and music, which is weirdly worded that implies that hip
Speaker 2: hop is not music.
Speaker 1: Which it's also I'm just.
Speaker 2: As a novel, this is a novel by Bob the
Speaker 2: drag Queen. Bob the author just feels a bit wrong. Well,
Speaker 2: Whoopy Goldberg disagree? She called it magnificent and Nobel prizeworthy.
Speaker 1: Nobel prizeworthy.
Speaker 2: What did I say.
Speaker 1: I'm just really I'm really confirming that's what was said. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hadn't stroked out at that point, and he's gone
Speaker 1: a bit weird, Okay.
Speaker 2: Peppermint The Taste of Peppermint apparently praised it for blending
Speaker 2: activism and artistry. Queen Oh as a Dragon Queen called
Speaker 2: Peppermint or they liked it too, apparently. God, we're doing
Speaker 2: well with the news today, am I She was sobbing
Speaker 2: and overwhelmed with emotion. It took five years to write.
Speaker 2: It's on the New York Times Bestsellers list March twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five. But that's not difficult. There was that whole
Speaker 2: thing a little while ago. It's like, it's surprisingly small
Speaker 2: number of books to get on the New York Times
Speaker 2: bestsellers list because there was a scandal where like the
Speaker 2: publishers would buy up their own books or the author
Speaker 2: would buy like a thousand copies of their own book
Speaker 2: and it would like bump them into the best sellers list.
Speaker 2: Because people don't buy books anymore, so it's not really
Speaker 2: a link. And also, if someone said to you, I'm
Speaker 2: a best I'm a New York Times bestselling author, would
Speaker 2: you go and check or would you just go, oh, great, congratulations,
Speaker 2: because it's one of the things were like, oh, it's
Speaker 2: an award, it's award winning, Like, all right, good, well done.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to go check if it's on the list.
Speaker 1: If it's something i'm buying, I might check. But it's
Speaker 1: just what they're meeting having drinks and they go, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a best selling author. I'm like, okay, cool, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to check.
Speaker 2: But then if it's a book by Bob the Drag Queen,
Speaker 2: surely Bob the Drag Queen's fans are going to buy it.
Speaker 2: They don't care if it's best selling because it's bothered
Speaker 2: drag Queen.
Speaker 1: But that's only six books. What that's only six books?
Speaker 1: Six mans say, are they not popular?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't follow drag queens. I've knowd Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh is this book a satire? Or who wrote this? Jesus?
Speaker 2: Moving on right, Kelly Clarkson remember her? Yeah, champions trans
Speaker 2: artists with Transer album on the trans Day of Visibility.
Speaker 1: Okay, which there she is. There's very toothy.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, who am I thinking of Kerry Katona?
Speaker 2: I got the wrong one.
Speaker 1: No difference, really, they're very different people.
Speaker 2: I disagree. Look at that. There's no difference.
Speaker 1: Really. She has a talk show that's very positive and
Speaker 1: very loving. Kerry Katona's Kerry Katona.
Speaker 2: She's still do in the Iceland adverts.
Speaker 1: I don't think she is anymore. I think I think
Speaker 1: they were removed from her.
Speaker 2: Oh, removed from Oh that sounds ecological anyway. She promoted
Speaker 2: an album on her show and via social media. It's uh,
Speaker 2: all right, She's not on the album she just promoted.
Speaker 2: How is this news? Like she's she's it's got artists
Speaker 2: like Shard, Sam Smith, Hunter Schaeffer. I don't know what
Speaker 2: that means? Uh?
Speaker 1: Sorry, Sam Smith.
Speaker 2: They featured on the on the lead single.
Speaker 1: Did was more The reaction about Sam Smith that wasn't
Speaker 1: feed about.
Speaker 2: Not a fan tedious. Yeah, it's like the Ed Sheeran
Speaker 2: for queer's. It's like it's the one the mom's like anyway,
Speaker 2: uh right she Yeah, she used her daytime show to
Speaker 2: promote transvisibility and uplift queer art. She called it a
Speaker 2: healing project and essential listening.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so I think that's allyship in America
Speaker 1: at the minute. I mean, what's going on?
Speaker 2: And did she give any of her money away? Has
Speaker 2: she set a transphobe on fire? Has she thrown her
Speaker 2: own feces at a policeman? None of these things. So
Speaker 2: the Allyship is now just saying, this is an album
Speaker 2: that already exists.
Speaker 1: Do you have to throw your owns at a policeman?
Speaker 2: You don't have to, clearly, because she hasn't done that.
Speaker 2: She's just waving someone else's album around and going yay
Speaker 2: trans It seems a little low effort in my eye,
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Apparently it's been widely praised on queer Twitter and TikTok.
Speaker 2: I don't know any queers left on Twitter. I thought
Speaker 2: that all popped over to Blue Sky by now. Trans
Speaker 2: fans call it a love letter to us, which is
Speaker 2: all right fine conservative backlash online, but Clarkson.
Speaker 1: Stood for her nice.
Speaker 2: For a lower allyship, Yeah, very low. I've actually got
Speaker 2: paid for it. I'll put money. Yeah, but they probably
Speaker 2: paid to put it on the show, is what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like some someone's prs had to have a word. That's
Speaker 2: the end of the showbiz.
Speaker 1: Thanks for that.
Speaker 2: River, You are more than welcome, Mike. Stay right there.
Speaker 2: Coming up soon we'll be going through Mike's search history.
Speaker 2: But first a little break. Welcome back. You're still watching
Speaker 2: Cheering the Cood with me, River Scott and my good
Speaker 2: friend Mike Benion rote. So now it's time for the
Speaker 2: buzz where we have a nose around in Mike's search history.
Speaker 2: Good luck everybody.
Speaker 1: You have flown before, right, yes, in many places? Yes,
Speaker 1: that's wonderful. How do you feel about steat allocations on aircraft?
Speaker 1: As in going, I want to sit there.
Speaker 2: I get me, going, I want to sit there? Oh
Speaker 2: I like that. Yeah, I like to choose.
Speaker 1: Okay, and do you pay for that privilely? If you
Speaker 1: say you're flying with Ryanair or Squeezy Jet.
Speaker 2: It depends on the length of the flight. If it's
Speaker 2: just like an hour or so, I'll probably not be
Speaker 2: that bothered if it's like more than four hours. So
Speaker 2: if I'm going somewhere a bit further away, like Grand
Speaker 2: Canary is a four hour flight and that can be
Speaker 2: a pain. So maybe Yeah, it depends on the length
Speaker 2: of flight and how crappy an airline is basically, and
Speaker 2: how much it costs. Because I'm a Yorkshire type, we
Speaker 2: don't spend money on ship. We don't have to. I'll
Speaker 2: sit on the wing.
Speaker 1: Because then I can have a fact wrap up.
Speaker 2: Why do you ask?
Speaker 1: So there's there's been a thing called a seat lice
Speaker 1: or seat louse, okay, which is someone that tries to
Speaker 1: get a better scene.
Speaker 2: I thought it was some kind of infestation.
Speaker 1: I can now choose whether to have an infestation of
Speaker 1: insects on your seat or that we pay extra from that.
Speaker 1: But no, basically people that try and scam their way
Speaker 1: to get a better seat than the one they've paid for, right, okay,
Speaker 1: And it's basically people worked out what it is and
Speaker 1: it's not going down well.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It tends to be groups of people rather than solo travelers, Okay.
Speaker 1: It tends to be people who have children. Is the
Speaker 1: common denominator.
Speaker 2: I mean they are all dickheads, so that.
Speaker 1: Not all of them. And some great people with kids
Speaker 1: that leave them at home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing. If they leave it at home,
Speaker 2: then being responsible parents is when they inflict them on
Speaker 2: the rest of us. That's when it's yeah, right, let's
Speaker 2: go out for a pint.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's great. Don't bring a little one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, bring your screaming child to the wedding so
Speaker 2: that it can scream all the way through the service. Fantastic,
Speaker 2: excellent work. Anyway, soon, No, but several weddings. I don't
Speaker 2: get invited to weddings them anyway. What do they do?
Speaker 2: How do they do it?
Speaker 1: So this happened to me, and I'm it's not even
Speaker 1: a rant. This has actually become a thing. Right, So
Speaker 1: I always pay for the first class budget airline, which
Speaker 1: is the first row of seats. Okay, all right, so
Speaker 1: that's just the one but by the door with the
Speaker 1: extra leg group. It's first class. Right.
Speaker 2: It's just like when you're upstairs on the bus and
Speaker 2: the bus driver all right.
Speaker 1: First class, right there? First class? Easy? Yet first class
Speaker 1: with their is that first row seats because you get le.
Speaker 2: Group were still going yeah, I thought that one shut down.
Speaker 1: And you can buy a yearly pass with there. You wouldn't,
Speaker 1: but you can say, in a case emergency, are you
Speaker 1: are you able to open up grade the door? And
Speaker 1: I am able to operate that door. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm able to operate that door.
Speaker 2: Is that kind of like I will operate the door
Speaker 2: if you don't get me another bag of peanuts or
Speaker 2: something like that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, because the question is are you
Speaker 1: able to operate the door? Like yes, Sam Willing is
Speaker 1: a different question, very different question. There's two people before me.
Speaker 1: If they're not doing it, we're all anyway, that was
Speaker 1: a rant, and you know, so I'll be sat in
Speaker 1: a seat and someone will come over and go, oh,
Speaker 1: i've sat a child there. I was like, oh, we
Speaker 1: can't sit on the zone. You need a parent. Now, well,
Speaker 1: I've only bought the one seat. Would you mind moving, sir?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: So they don't separate the parent and child. What do
Speaker 1: you think my Carmen reaction is to that?
Speaker 2: I mean, if you didn't know that this was a
Speaker 2: thing that they were doing in order to get the
Speaker 2: seat that you'd bugged, then I suppose you'd be like
Speaker 2: all right, Fine, if it happened like once maybe or
Speaker 2: something like that, or if you flew a lot and
Speaker 2: it wasn't a thing that happened a lot. But if
Speaker 2: it's something that's happening every time, I'd be like no, So.
Speaker 1: The first time that happened, I will gladly move for you.
Speaker 1: This seat cost me twenty pounds, it's going to cost
Speaker 1: you forty a capitalism. Yeah, supply and demand. I have
Speaker 1: a supply of a seat you're demanding to sit in it.
Speaker 1: Pay me, bitch. Yeah, she paid me the money in euros,
Speaker 1: but five there. Yeah, I'll rinse a bitch. But yeah.
Speaker 1: This alsoes for things like upgrades. People try and scamm
Speaker 1: an upgrades at the airport to try and get the
Speaker 1: better seats and stuff.
Speaker 2: I remember once I did say that I was because
Speaker 2: this was back in the old olden days before you
Speaker 2: could buy tickets on the internet. And I did it
Speaker 2: over the phone with the travel agent or whatever it was,
Speaker 2: and I said I was six foot five to try
Speaker 2: and get extra leg room on a flight to Australia,
Speaker 2: and it worked. I mean, I'm I'm six foot nine inches.
Speaker 2: That's two measurements. I'm only six foot tall. So I'm
Speaker 2: not far off, but still I did. I thought i'd
Speaker 2: add a bit to that to see if I could
Speaker 2: get a bulkhead. So it worked. Yeah. Yeah. So does
Speaker 2: that mean am I am I guilty of your of
Speaker 2: your being a stam in your eyes?
Speaker 1: That was yes officially yes, that's because you'rellowing to try
Speaker 1: a disadvantage. I mean there are ethical ways of getting
Speaker 1: a free upgrade like which I'll tell you later. All right,
Speaker 1: but moving on. Are you aware of Chick fil A?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And how do you feel about Chick of fhill a?
Speaker 2: Slightly better than I feel about Jerry Halliwell Horner wherever.
Speaker 2: The name is so not not not not great, not great, not.
Speaker 1: Great because they're renowned for having very strong anti lgbt
Speaker 1: Q i A plus.
Speaker 2: Views that they then funneled money into and all that
Speaker 2: kind of malarkey.
Speaker 1: So a while ago they tried to break into the
Speaker 1: UK market with their brand Chick fil A, didn't do
Speaker 1: particularly well, but they're now trying it again with a
Speaker 1: different one of their brands. Okay, cool, so they're renit.
Speaker 1: They're basically they're ah Churches Texas Chicken CTC sound familiar
Speaker 1: CTC chewing the cud churches, Texas Chicken. So they're saying
Speaker 1: that they taste better than KFC.
Speaker 2: That's a low bar.
Speaker 1: It's not difficult. I've got saw dust and they're trying
Speaker 1: to open Lane Hundre branches in the UK, and they're
Speaker 1: owned by Chick fil A, so trying to sneak in.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm just getting a voice in my ear that
Speaker 2: says I'm not allowed to say quite a few of
Speaker 2: the things I was thinking about saying.
Speaker 1: Think about saying, uh the.
Speaker 2: Key all right, Jesus, where it's like incitement to riot
Speaker 2: are being said in my ear. So okay, let's it's not.
Speaker 2: But yeah, like apparently I am very much not allowed
Speaker 2: to say that we should burn them all down. I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that that would apparently be illegal.
Speaker 1: That is illegal. We should not do that.
Speaker 2: No, we should absolutely not.
Speaker 1: What you do have the rights to is a peaceful
Speaker 1: protest by standing outside and stopping people coming in and
Speaker 1: going oh no, no, no, no, they try and hurt people.
Speaker 2: Yes, and while I'm doing that, you can be round
Speaker 2: the back opening the gas taps and chucking a couple of.
Speaker 1: I would not be opening the gaps. No, what you
Speaker 1: do is on the deep fryers while they're cold, you're
Speaker 1: open up the fence at the bottom, because that's a
Speaker 1: bugger to clean up because oil everywhere, that's just vandalism.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so that's more of a warning about that.
Speaker 1: If you do see anything called Church's Texas chicken, right.
Speaker 2: That's not a fun thing. It's got a nice rhythm
Speaker 2: to it. But churches textus chicken. It's not something that
Speaker 2: you're going to say when you're drunk.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 2: It's like a bulldog trying to chew a toffee indeed
Speaker 2: is yeah, church chick.
Speaker 1: And if you do an impression of a bulldog during
Speaker 1: a toffee, why not share that with us? We are
Speaker 1: at the Cood TV on all your social media, and
Speaker 1: that brings us nicely to our story of the week
Speaker 1: while rivers still doing that treasure. Okay, we're talking about
Speaker 1: sex and kinks.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I'm in, I'm down.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool. We're in this great island nation that we are.
Speaker 1: We're in this island nation that we're in. Do you
Speaker 1: think is the kinkiest place to live? Hebden Bridge, hebden Bridge.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's kinky. I think that's very above
Speaker 1: the cook.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's going to be marmalade and lesbians, isn't it
Speaker 2: all right? It's going to be somewhere miserable like Slough okay,
Speaker 2: or Redford, Rotherham something like that. The just somewhere really
Speaker 2: miserable where there's nothing else going on. So okay, that's
Speaker 2: what That's what I'm thinking. They need something to spice
Speaker 2: themselves up a bit.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well in second place was Croydon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that does it. Yeah, let's bang on. Yeah
Speaker 2: that's exactly what.
Speaker 1: Place was Manchester.
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, I get that because you can't go on
Speaker 2: Grinder without people going, oh, piss on my tips and
Speaker 2: call me fatty or whatever, and I'm like, no, I.
Speaker 1: Just I just want to call you.
Speaker 2: Just wanted a hand. I'll do it myself.
Speaker 1: Never mind that it's easier, it's less, less organizational requirements.
Speaker 2: Get people like, oh, I'm into like fisting and piss
Speaker 2: and scating and blah blah blah blah blah. I'm open minded.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well you'd have to be, wouldn't you. Jesus.
Speaker 1: My favorite question I ever had in gradus pointing you
Speaker 1: box as in box, and I replied back to it, No,
Speaker 1: me human box cardboard. Okay, that's the reason why I'm single.
Speaker 2: Everybody, I get it. Yeah, I'm not laughing.
Speaker 1: I said, there's the reason why I'm single. It's clever,
Speaker 1: it's not funny. There's a very clear difference. But yeah,
Speaker 1: all this is in the top five includes Norwich, Wrexham
Speaker 1: and Newcastle.
Speaker 2: Upon time, what are they counting as kinky?
Speaker 1: It's basically asking people what they've searched on their X
Speaker 1: rated searches in a month.
Speaker 2: I keep getting like steps on shags, stepmom type stuff
Speaker 2: all the time, which I'm not into, but it's the
Speaker 2: only thing that gets served to me on those sites.
Speaker 2: I've had to start, you know, just imagining shit.
Speaker 1: Usually my imagination, like I had to in the nineties
Speaker 1: when I found porn.
Speaker 2: God when I was at school. It was enough Troy
Speaker 2: Hovey and his hairy legs at PA anyway, Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So some of the things that people most commonly searched
Speaker 1: with is like flash flash lights, flash lights, rose toys
Speaker 1: and boot plugs. Not going to ask right anal beads,
Speaker 1: chastity belts and sex swings. So I'm thinking that's that's
Speaker 1: not that that advanced stuff I mean my boot plugs
Speaker 1: is a random Tuesday, surely.
Speaker 2: And how do you that's what they're looking for in
Speaker 2: porn googling porn and googling porn and boot plugs.
Speaker 1: An't people using book plugs and slunk what you're doing now,
Speaker 1: I'm going shopping.
Speaker 2: If you had to choose between Croydon and Manchester, oh.
Speaker 1: I choose Manchester. But still you know, if distance is
Speaker 1: a problem. But that's all from the Buzz this week.
Speaker 2: Thanks for that, Mike. I'm still not going to Croydon,
Speaker 2: but don't go anywhere yourself. Stay where you are, even
Speaker 2: if you are in Croydon, as we've got a game
Speaker 2: coming up in just a second for you to play
Speaker 2: along with in our Game of the week, welcome back
Speaker 2: to Cheering the Cod with me, River Scott and my
Speaker 2: good friend Mike, Benny and Rowe. Now this is the
Speaker 2: part of the show where we play USA Kazoo and
Speaker 2: this is for the man who really does blow. So
Speaker 2: go on shore off your pop.
Speaker 1: I'm going I'm going right off day of the week. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to play a tune on the kazoo
Speaker 1: and you have to try and work out what it is.
Speaker 1: Ok are you ready for the first one? I'm ready
Speaker 1: do me okay, all right, first one, we're not doing
Speaker 1: that one. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Mario theme tune.
Speaker 1: See that was an easy one. You want to start with.
Speaker 2: Next one, Jurassic Park? Okay, illo this game?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm?
Speaker 2: What's going that's four? Non blonde? And oh is it not?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, wake in the bonny and the step outside and
Speaker 2: take a good breath. And I got a rod on
Speaker 2: what's going on?
Speaker 1: No, the name of the song is not in the lyrics.
Speaker 2: When I'm waiting for a revolution? No lyrics. No, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to get it. We'll be here all what's up?
Speaker 2: What's up? Here's you named your song wrong.
Speaker 1: Or they named it correctly, you just didn't remember it.
Speaker 3: Okay, Next one?
Speaker 2: Now something a torture in sweep? Not a clue? Sorry
Speaker 2: when you stick your hand right up there?
Speaker 1: Yes, that was Texas hold by Beyond Canoes.
Speaker 2: It right, Johnny Goods? Well done?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, how about this? You probably get this one
Speaker 1: because it's Twinkie.
Speaker 2: That is that skinny twinkie thing, isn't it? That's rush by.
Speaker 1: Troy Yeah, Sevan, I'm not sure what the pronunciation, but yes.
Speaker 2: On the end, So it's Troy.
Speaker 1: Not Troy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's putting it on it, he's spelling it pretentious,
Speaker 2: so we don't get to decide how it's pronounced. M hmmm.
Speaker 1: No, no, it's from the nineties.
Speaker 2: I'm too young. Then that's why.
Speaker 1: You're significantly That is still My Sunshine by Len. Oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I used to think they were saying steal my
Speaker 2: pencil for some reason, but yeah, no, it did not
Speaker 2: clock that at all. Sorry, love pencil. Yeah, steal my pencil, steal.
Speaker 1: My red wine.
Speaker 4: Okay, next one.
Speaker 2: I'm really enjoying watching you, just just watching your face
Speaker 2: as you do these. It's it's a delight, absolutely no idea.
Speaker 1: People often enjoy my facial expressions when I'm blowing things.
Speaker 1: Birth the candles, balloons, shandle bounce off. Lots of puffing
Speaker 1: required for there it was it was Chandelier by Sea,
Speaker 1: all right, because she wants to sing from the chandelier.
Speaker 2: He I probably would have recognized that if I knew
Speaker 2: that song.
Speaker 1: Possibly maybe Okay, I'll go for something a little bit older.
Speaker 2: Then, mm hmmm, one more time or do you want
Speaker 2: the chorus? Yeah? Why not treat me? Come on? Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: ninety nine Love Ballons, nine and nine Glove Balloons bye,
Speaker 2: or if you want ninety nine Red Ballions.
Speaker 1: No, it's not nine ninety bus bye.
Speaker 2: Uh Nope, that's not who it was, nine and nine
Speaker 2: sick Glove. It's a girl's name.
Speaker 1: It is a girl's name.
Speaker 2: It's not a girl's name. Lisa Stacey, Joan Andrea. No,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna get it, all.
Speaker 1: Right, lou Begay.
Speaker 2: What was her name?
Speaker 1: Nina?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was never gonna get that.
Speaker 1: I think the only song that started that song?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, like like that's that just sounds like a
Speaker 2: German ambulance. But sorry, carry on. How come yours has
Speaker 2: got two holes in it? I thought they were only
Speaker 2: supposed to have one.
Speaker 1: It's a professional double ended kazoo.
Speaker 2: Wow, that will be mm hmmm. That just sounds like
Speaker 2: someone's talking into a crap microphone. Idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's another German song.
Speaker 2: Oh good, I'm not I'm not really up. Is it
Speaker 2: craft work?
Speaker 1: No, it's not craft work?
Speaker 2: Then I'm lost.
Speaker 1: It's Barbara's Rue Barbara Barbara bah right, okay? By Bodle
Speaker 1: Tacky and Marty Fisher.
Speaker 2: I do know, I know, I know of Barbara's bar
Speaker 2: Barber Barbara's. But I didn't know there was a song
Speaker 2: about it. I just know the little animation a thing,
Speaker 2: which is pretty fun.
Speaker 1: That's where I came from anyway.
Speaker 5: So is that one?
Speaker 2: Right? O? Well halfway through this set? Now cool we are?
Speaker 1: And you've got very excited very early on.
Speaker 2: Because I did well for the first two peaked, peaked.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see if we can find some music that's
Speaker 1: more pure, shall we say? Ali no is the chorus?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Go on?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Gives us sisters, I can't decide.
Speaker 1: Correct well done. Yeah, And the reason why I stopped
Speaker 1: it is literally about to get up to the chorus
Speaker 1: when I stopped.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I like that one because there's a line in
Speaker 2: it that's like, it's a bit convincing people to like you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and we go. We know.
Speaker 1: My favorite one is I could throw you in the
Speaker 1: in the lake or Fiji poison. Birthday cake. It's a
Speaker 1: good choice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good, I'd rather have the cake. If you're going
Speaker 2: to kill me, I'd rather die doing what I loved,
Speaker 2: which is eating far too much birthday cake.
Speaker 1: Is it specific birthday cake or any cake?
Speaker 2: Okay, any cake, You'll do any Yeah, it's a song
Speaker 2: from Joseph grind.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wait, hang on, something about a birthday is it? No,
Speaker 2: it's no holiday, Yeah, it's it would be some on night. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's Majona. Majonna Ja tis.
Speaker 1: Mad Jena is a mad Madonna. Mide had a baby Madjona.
Speaker 2: Somewhere over the rainbow.
Speaker 1: Lie. Uh oh, no, pressure, but you get this wrong,
Speaker 1: and you've been kicked out of all union memberships.
Speaker 2: It's what's the name?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I'm having a drink and then I'll tell
Speaker 2: you if you know at home, write in and tell us.
Speaker 1: In three or four weeks, by the Romel's got the posters,
Speaker 1: we will still be guessing.
Speaker 2: The post bless yous, anyone still send letters? I was
Speaker 2: said Julie Garland, But that's not right either.
Speaker 1: Who was it? Go on? Then, Julie Garland.
Speaker 2: Just names names of old ladies.
Speaker 1: You said, Julie Garden, but that's not right, and it
Speaker 1: was was it? Yes, Julie?
Speaker 2: Okay, I think I was thinking of the dude who
Speaker 2: did it first with the banjul That's enough.
Speaker 1: Now coming up after the short break, we'll get all
Speaker 1: craft and crafty queens. Julie garl.
Speaker 2: Welcome back. You're still watching Chewing the Cud with me,
Speaker 2: River Scott and my good friend Mike, Benny and Rowe.
Speaker 2: And now we're getting glue gunhappy with crafty queens.
Speaker 1: Well, we're not using a glue gun after the incidents
Speaker 1: of last time. You're on in the super glue that's.
Speaker 2: Come off now. Ah, But it was that I only
Speaker 2: had paper glue to my hands for like two weeks
Speaker 2: and I got all my fingers back like then separated
Speaker 2: again after a month or so. That was fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we're not going to trust you with hot glue,
Speaker 1: all right, fair enough, we have going to, for some
Speaker 1: reason trust you with a pointy thing. What we're going
Speaker 1: to make is we're going to be a lovely way
Speaker 1: of casting shadows with candles. Okay, okay, so you think
Speaker 1: like paper lanterns kind of thing. Okay, really simple to do.
Speaker 1: You have it in front of you cup, Yes see
Speaker 1: you pe can, I see you pee? And what we're
Speaker 1: going to do is you're going to put a design
Speaker 1: on on your cup.
Speaker 2: You're gonna do what?
Speaker 1: Put a design on your cup?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay with lots of little holes, right, Okay, what's gonna
Speaker 1: happen is that we're going to drop a candle and
Speaker 1: light it and then the light is going to shine
Speaker 1: through the cup.
Speaker 2: And okay, why not?
Speaker 1: So yeah, crack on, pop yourself a design on, right,
Speaker 1: So you're just going to push and.
Speaker 2: It's and it's normal, way up, cup doing it upside
Speaker 2: down because that would just be that would be that
Speaker 2: would be.
Speaker 1: That would be, that would be a hot flame with
Speaker 1: with paper on top.
Speaker 2: That's all right, fair enough, they would have a flame,
Speaker 2: am I doing? Oh goodness?
Speaker 1: Just poke holes through? What kind of pattern you're.
Speaker 2: Going for the same one as usual for a knob?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay?
Speaker 2: Oh h is that not? Really? It might be a
Speaker 2: slightly odd shaped knob because this is hard going.
Speaker 1: Well, every penis is beautiful in its own way.
Speaker 2: I disagree it's in its own way.
Speaker 1: Don't want to eat it.
Speaker 2: I've seen some really ugly ones. Right, My cup's given up.
Speaker 1: The cup's giving up? How did your cup give up?
Speaker 2: It's just not it's not got what it takes to
Speaker 2: cut this place, workplace environment.
Speaker 1: Look, you're not't watching hard hat looks. So you watch.
Speaker 1: You've got a cup, you put you get your fingers right, okay,
Speaker 1: and you put your fingers inside the cup right side
Speaker 1: your fingers in, okay, And when you do that, the
Speaker 1: space of your fingers, that's where you're going to be
Speaker 1: poking the whole, not on the finger.
Speaker 2: This ends in place.
Speaker 1: Well, don't poke it into your finger, post it into
Speaker 1: the space you slide your hand in with the fingers open.
Speaker 2: Could you please dial two of the three nines now?
Speaker 2: Just to save time quick?
Speaker 1: Can someone tell me the number for nine nine nine.
Speaker 2: It's not helping, is it not?
Speaker 1: Okay? You can't leave you a lot with everything, can we?
Speaker 2: You sound just like my parole officer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think is that. I don't care where you
Speaker 1: were at seven o'clock last night. I entered the noise
Speaker 1: it makes us you pierce it so slightly.
Speaker 5: Violence, the violence happening, I feel like I'm.
Speaker 2: Definitely pissed back. Whang out what happened? There a record
Speaker 2: when happen.
Speaker 1: So just make sure you have to stab yourself. You're
Speaker 1: where where your fingers are when you're doing things? How
Speaker 1: are you not? This is where you go for twinks,
Speaker 1: isn't it.
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just happy to be involved. I don't
Speaker 2: go for twinks. They just the easiest to pick off
Speaker 2: from the herd destract.
Speaker 1: Like a Randy Cheeter.
Speaker 2: I school with someone called Randy Cheet.
Speaker 1: Really no, that's a shame. I wanted to google them.
Speaker 2: Oh mean, spiky things not pointy anymore. I mean it
Speaker 2: happens to all as we get older. But I thought
Speaker 2: I was at least going to get me cup done.
Speaker 4: Aw h.
Speaker 1: M hmm. It's hard to penetrate at some points. Let's
Speaker 1: not and say we did, right, I'm almost done?
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2: That will do. Okay, your design, my cup knackered.
Speaker 1: But yeah, okay, I've got for a slightly different motive.
Speaker 1: I've got for a bunch of hills.
Speaker 2: Looks like a nob to me.
Speaker 1: I do that so you and he's old in a cup? Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, and then you could do it all the
Speaker 1: way out, all the way around if you so wished.
Speaker 2: I don't do you know? No, no, thank you, no,
Speaker 2: not even a little bit, no thank you?
Speaker 1: Are you sure?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Quite sure?
Speaker 1: Okay? Okay, fine, Well remember if you can't get any peen,
Speaker 1: any regime or anything between, you can be a crafty queen.
Speaker 2: Yah.
Speaker 1: Let's see your finger.
Speaker 2: Then that's not damaged. No, no, no, that wasn't the
Speaker 2: one I hurt.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's the one you hurt. If you can't work
Speaker 1: out which one it is you hurt, it didn't hurt, right,
Speaker 1: So I'll give you a candle. Yes, So we're going
Speaker 1: to pop our candle into a holder. Okay, they go,
Speaker 1: delicately done, and then set the candle on flame.
Speaker 2: Set the candle on flame.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because setting it on fire. This sounds wrong.
Speaker 2: Not the cup trying not to it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna this is gonna third degree. But there we go.
Speaker 1: What I can't trust you with anything? Come if we
Speaker 1: bring down the lights?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, everybody?
Speaker 1: That pretty pretty? Oh to do it? I thought that
Speaker 1: was that thing that's lovely. So imagine sat out on it.
Speaker 1: What give it to me? Give it to me. It's
Speaker 1: hot on the end that you gave me.
Speaker 2: That was kind of right.
Speaker 1: So somebody's out on your balcony or your patio or
Speaker 1: gazebo whatever in the summer's evening, and you could have
Speaker 1: a little flamey thing that's very nice.
Speaker 2: And presumably if you've got one cup, you've got several,
Speaker 2: so you can have a drink and another one just.
Speaker 1: Straight straight from the bottle.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: I have seen you do that before, so you don't
Speaker 1: just set fire to stuff.
Speaker 2: You don't.
Speaker 1: But you also do something podcasting, right, Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: there was a tenuous.
Speaker 2: That was a link to things. Yes, I do a podcast.
Speaker 2: It's all about knobs and sex and ship like that.
Speaker 2: Think of it a bit like Sex and the City
Speaker 2: if Carrie Bradshaw was queer and good at her job, okay,
Speaker 2: and liked knob jokes. There's a lot of knob jokes
Speaker 2: in there. It's basically well, it's called probably true stories
Speaker 2: of queer life and even queer sex, okay. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: it's me telling nob jokes and little silly stories and
Speaker 2: trying to find some wisdom in the disappointing sex that
Speaker 2: I've been having for the last years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, many years, many many, many, many many years.
Speaker 2: And it's very fun. It's been going on for a
Speaker 2: long time. You learn a lot about me very quickly.
Speaker 2: So if you want to know some kind of filth,
Speaker 2: then you can go and do that and uh yeah,
Speaker 2: where do we find it on the internet.
Speaker 1: Where it's specific on the internet, or just and shout
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 2: But if you want to just listen to my dolset
Speaker 2: tones then all the usual places, Apple, Spotify, all that malarchy.
Speaker 2: If you'd like to see my handsome face, well, I'm
Speaker 2: telling you nob jokes. Then you can find it on
Speaker 2: you Tube, but yeah, probably true. Podcast is what you
Speaker 2: search in all those places, and the logo is a
Speaker 2: kind of pink triangle thing, little pink triangle chust. We're gay,
Speaker 2: and I have guests on who tell their stories and
Speaker 2: ship too, so it's not just me, mostly me, but
Speaker 2: there are some guests good fun. Yeah, maybe I'll have
Speaker 2: you on one day if you've got a story to tell.
Speaker 1: I don't have sex virgin, only ridiculous your face or
Speaker 1: your personality too.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's definitely a combination of all.
Speaker 1: Right, then more underneath all this as well as car crush.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, sad, sad, but true. You're a brave soldier.
Speaker 2: But yes, my podcast is available on all the places.
Speaker 2: You can listen to me telling silly sexy stories if
Speaker 2: you like. And I'm also on the socials. Just search
Speaker 2: for River Scott on instamgram and Blue Sky is the
Speaker 2: one I use now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because are you not on Twitter anymore? No, because
Speaker 1: it's gone a bit right wingy, just a.
Speaker 2: Bit like there was a bit noughty. Yeah, so I
Speaker 2: am on if you want to come find me and
Speaker 2: say hi, do that would be nice. I am generally
Speaker 2: quite bored, so it's nice.
Speaker 1: Well that's almost the end of the show for now
Speaker 1: on screen. Now you can see how contact details it
Speaker 1: is at the cod TV on social media, and if
Speaker 1: you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can
Speaker 1: binge us on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cutter.
Speaker 2: Thank you for watching, and we will see you next week.
Speaker 2: Well you will see me next week, but see someone
Speaker 2: next someone.
Speaker 1: Don't be as handsome as you are
Speaker 2: Probably yeah, more technically adapt Bye.