Speaker 1: Good Morning from Hell. It's me Clayton, younger brother of
Satan and the Number one podcast are in Hell on
this the show, good Morning from Hell, and enjoining me
as always with a big, dumb, fucking smile wiped across
his face.
Speaker 2: What the fuck you smile about?
Speaker 1: Gets Krista Marris, Hi, Chris, and I am dead and
my eternal punishment is to do this podcast.
Speaker 2: Who we interview everyone in Hell?
Speaker 1: Why are you so chipper? This is obnoxious. I gotta
slap that grin off your face. You look way too
happy for someone who's living in hell. How it's still on,
still grinned. Yeah, I know what has gotten into you?
You just I want to say that there's a pep
in your step, but I kind of cut your ankles
off earlier today, so you're kind of like, you know,
dragging around a little bit. But yeah, no, you're just
you seem thrilled. Yeah, my limp has a jig to it.
I'll say that, what you know, when I'm limping around,
I know what you're going for. But it just okay,
big smiles. What's happening, Chris? Please I fill the in
fill in the audience. Well, I met someone, Oh, great,
not this again. I met someone, okay, all right. The
way that you're pointing your index fingers together and then
you're kind of like you're like looking at me bashfully
and like curling and non existent pigtail says a lot
about this.
Speaker 2: Tell me more. I'm so I'm so curious.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't want to, you know, jinx things
or curse on. But well, I was out running errands,
uh huh, and I stopped by the Harmers market picking
up some locally made torture devices of course.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, some unethically sourced food poison op. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I met someone who had a little stand and
we're chatting and just like hit it off. You know
when there's like chemistry, you know when there's chemistry. You
know there's chemistry, right, you know what I'm talking about,
when there's.
Speaker 2: Ms swinking at me. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Okay, And then we're talking and she said that she
thought I was cute and wanted to meet up later. So, yeah,
I've got a date.
Speaker 2: Oh what are you thinking? What do you have in
mind for this date? That would be presumptuous?
Speaker 1: So I figured we might catch a flick oh oh, like,
what's Emoji movie?
Speaker 2: Maybe Moji Movie eighteen? Is that the one that's out
right now? No?
Speaker 3: No, just that you know that giant device that just
like flings you into the air.
Speaker 2: Oh oh a flick. God, you're talking about a movie.
You're talking about the actual like flick. Yeah, the flicker. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like an amusement, right, you know,
do you get excitement? Right?
Speaker 2: It's scary, right yeah yeah, roller coaster right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they have all sorts of fun, like
quote unquote rides at the Unfair yeah, listeners at home.
Speaker 2: That's the hell version of affair. It's the unfair.
Speaker 1: We lost creativity on that one. But moving them right along.
What else are you thinking about doing, you know, on
your date?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean obviously do some little games and
then I don't know, we'll see. Maybe we'll go back
to her place or my place and eat, yeah, get
some food.
Speaker 1: When you're at the carnival, you can go to the
dunk tank, which is it's actually just a tank.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, you just get fired on. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty good at bobbing for apples, you know, I
always find the one with the razor.
Speaker 2: Blade in it.
Speaker 1: No, no, those are fun. And then there's also like
you could take her to the ring toss.
Speaker 3: It's just tough because you know, you have to go
all the way across, how climb mount doom and then
try and get the ring into the.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, it's just tough. If they make it
really hard to.
Speaker 3: Win that one, it's like, yeah, yeah, they kind of
stack the odds against you.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean that sounds like a lot of fun.
And I'm super excited for you to go to the
Unfair with your your new date. But I have a proposal.
Speaker 2: Oh you're getting married? Shut up.
Speaker 1: No, Since I'm kind of like your father figure, huh,
and I need to vet the kind of people that
you date.
Speaker 2: I think we should just bring her onto the show.
Speaker 1: I can meet her, you can get to know her
a little bit better, and then I can determine whether
or not you guys are fit to go to the unfair.
Speaker 2: How does that sound, Chris doesn't sound fair? Well? Great,
that's perfect.
Speaker 1: I mean we're hell So that's great. Did you get
their phone number?
Speaker 2: Like? How do you contact this mystery woman? What I
do is do you have any innocent animals?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I've got a whole box of them. Okay,
I was saving those up for something. But what do
you mean I just have to sacrifice a couple of them?
Oh yeah, interesting?
Speaker 2: All right, So how's this squirrel? Squirrel's fine, I got plenty.
I'm gonna liquid on squirrels. Cool. Well, I need their liquid.
So now there you go.
Speaker 3: And now I spread the blood out, and then I
look into it, and then I chant, there's no place
like hell.
Speaker 2: There's no place like hell. There's no place like Hell. Oh.
I hear a knock at the door. That might be her. Hey,
come on.
Speaker 4: In, Oh hello, Hi, Hey, this is my roommate, Clayton.
Speaker 1: No, no, I'm not his roommate. I actually kind of
own him. He's like more of a pet to me.
But hello, my name is Clayton. What's your name?
Speaker 4: Oh, I will hello. I am the wicked witch of
them in West. He was not expecting two people to
be here today. But yeah, this will work, This will
be okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm not part of the date. This
is not a thropple.
Speaker 1: If you will, I'm not interested, but you know, thank
you for I mean, you're a green skin, T'm red skinned.
Speaker 2: It would work out. It would be fun during Christmases.
But no, no, no, Chris Is.
Speaker 1: I'm just here to make sure that you're good for Chris,
my precious, precious Chris.
Speaker 4: Right, good for Chris. Yeah, I think Chris is good
for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean he's okay for some things. But you know,
just kind of depends on what you wanted to well use.
Speaker 4: Him for, you know, I mean, he could use some
meat on his bones, let's be honest.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's kind of intentional. I don't feed
him all that much.
Speaker 1: That's why he's currently squirreling away that squirrel that he
just sacrificed.
Speaker 2: He's gonna eat that later. I'm a hoarder, just like
the squirrel was. Ah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris Is, he's a goofball. He's he's a goofball.
So you said you're the Wicked Witch of the Midwest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not to be mistaken with the Wicked Witch of
the West. I know she's a little bit more famous
than me, but we're like, you know, we're pals. I
got her on speed dial, but she's a little busy
right now.
Speaker 2: Is there anything we can call you for short?
Speaker 1: Because I know that the Wicked Witch of the West
is her name is Alphaba or something like that.
Speaker 4: Well, actually, I guess you could just call me.
Speaker 2: Abba abbah yeah, like the bands.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. I mean all of us witches
end with like a ah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So okay, yeah, like Abba, like you're scary or you know,
is it just.
Speaker 4: Kind of a I don't like when people call me scary.
I like to think of myself as very sweet.
Speaker 2: Oh she's very sweet? So sorry. I mean there's gotta
be a reason that you know you're the wicked witch.
Excuse me?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like to have a wicked good time? Am
I right?
Speaker 2: Fellar? Okay, am I right? Fellas, Yeah it does. She's
given us I five. That's sweet.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're aware of Alphaba and the other one Arianna?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I mean how could you not be?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry this is embarrassing. Abba.
Speaker 3: I really don't know anything about your culture. I've seen
half of Wicked. Oh so then you saw Wicked Part one?
Speaker 2: Then well the movie?
Speaker 3: Okay, no, I'm sorry, I misspoke. I saw half of
Wicked Part one, so then you've seen a quarter of
Wicked as a whole.
Speaker 4: Yes, you couldn't even sit and watch the whole thing. Huh.
Speaker 1: Well, what do you have against witches? Chris, No, I
don't have anything against the witches. It's just in Hell,
they don't really show you the full movies. If you
get a really good movie down in Hell, which is uncommon,
they really only show you parts of it, either just
the spoilers at the end, or just up like the
first You know, quarter, third or half you're invested.
Speaker 2: And then you don't get to know what happens. Yeah
that's true.
Speaker 4: All right, Okay, well I thought.
Speaker 2: It was great. I loved the first half.
Speaker 4: Where everybody didn't like the witch, right, because that's the
first half and everybody bullies the witch and makes her
feel like she isn't welcome.
Speaker 2: You like that one, Chrissy, You like that part?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: Well, that's not really the part identify.
Speaker 4: Or were you over there looking at the pretty witch
the whole time?
Speaker 1: It's the question, crazy question, I I was. I just
what I really liked about movie the most was the
right snacks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, snacks, snacks, and the snacks were really good.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you watched the movie, he didn't watch them.
Speaker 3: A novelty theme corn kernel bucket where where it was
a witch's hat so we got to eat just corn
kernels straight out of that it was pretty cool.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I did see that. I thought it
was a little unethical considering you know, there's no way
to set it down because the top of a witch
hat is just a point.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's hell for you. Yeah, that's hell. It's not
really meant to be comfortable. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then also once people finished eating their corn kernels,
they put the hats on, so then the movie became obscure.
So really I only saw I say I saw half
of the first hat, but really, if you count the
hats obscuring, it really more like, I don't know, two fits.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing about the hat, Like the hat's cool
and all, but that's just alf of us hat. If
you look at here at what I'm wearing, which looks great.
The witches in the Midwest we like to wear our
Camo baseball hats. I think that's just more fitting.
Speaker 2: And they have the ear flaps too for.
Speaker 4: Cold right, it gets real chilly up there.
Speaker 2: Huh, it's a good hat. It looks great on you. Thanks.
Speaker 1: Having seen the full first movie and also the live production,
I'm a bit of a Wicked fan.
Speaker 4: Ah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, like, did you go to Shizz University.
Speaker 4: Oh, actually no, so I went to the community college
a few miles up from the other side. Yeah, it
was actually in a corn field. It just feels more
fitting for me. I don't like the big city cities,
you know. I've never actually been to the Emerald City.
It just seems too loud and everybody's wearing the same thing.
Boo boring, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So so yeah, Munchkin Community College. That's cool. That's cool.
What did you major in? What did you study?
Speaker 4: I originally had signed up to learn more about agriculture,
but my teacher got really upset that I kept sacrificing
the cows, so, you know, and that's my bad. Like,
I probably should have gone into something more like witchcraft,
but I just was trying to step out of my box.
I've been a witch since the day I was born,
you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I mean I've always thought witches were cool,
right except for.
Speaker 1: When you watched the first half of the first half
of Wicked and didn't seem to grasp any plot points
or elements of the story.
Speaker 2: Well, no, because that was so Chris.
Speaker 4: Have you read any of like that Hansel and Gretel books.
Speaker 2: We met Hansel and Gretel. Yeah, they were weird.
Speaker 4: They are just bullies, aren't they? They were and I
just tell lies, don't they?
Speaker 2: They did? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I wish I could see the Broadway production of Wicked,
but I gotta wait for it to become.
Speaker 2: Dead on Broadway to get down to Hell. So it
just takes a while.
Speaker 4: I could make that happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think though, Chris, if I recall, you were
a huge fan of OZ the Great and Powerful, the
one with James Franco And.
Speaker 4: No, no, we don't talk about that one.
Speaker 2: Chris's about it NonStop. He loves that one. I don't know.
It's just a whole TV show about prison. I mean
that's crazy, right.
Speaker 4: I think that we need to get the TVs looked at.
Speaker 1: And hell, Chris, what do you the TV show OZ?
John had seen the TV show OZ.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think you know what a witch is.
Speaker 3: Actually, I would love to learn more about you and
learn about our sponsor this week Monarch. The holiday season
is always stressful, even in Hell. In fact, the holiday
season is kind of just hell. I mean, you've got travel,
you have gifts to get, you're hosting, you're entertaining. There's
so much to do and keep track of, and it
all costs money. If you want to keep your finances
under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch,
rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app of twenty twenty five.
Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool that
brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface
on your laptop or your phone. And right now, just
for our listeners, Monarch is offering fifty percent off your
first year. I set up Monarch a while back, and
I immediately realized that I'm stupid. I've been wasting so
much money. Thankfully, Monarch made it really easy to track
all my expenses, and because of it, I was able
to save up money for my travel and expenses for
the holidays. Now it's also a really good time to
set it up because you'll start the new year off fresh.
It's like a year in financial reset tool. You'll be
able to link everything, your investments, your four owing K,
your properties, and truly understand where your money is and
how to make it grow. Don't let financial opportunities slip
through the cracks. Use code gm FH at Monarch dot
com in your browser for half off your first year.
That's fifty percent off your first year at Monarch dot
com with code gm f H. This is a great
tool for finances. I hope you check it out, especially
because it's holidays shopping season, and at store dot good
Morning from hell dot com you can get amazing merch
for your friends and families and enemies. We've got the
h double hockeysticks Jersey, We've got candles that smell like death,
and we have comfy pajama pants. So go to store
dot good Morning from hell dot com for all your
holiday shopping. Anyways, Abba, tell us more about the Midwest.
Speaker 4: Well, let me tell you.
Speaker 2: The magical, magical land of the Midwest. Please tell us.
Speaker 4: Okay, well, if you are trying to get anywhere quickly,
good hecking lot. All right. If you're trying to take
your broomstick across town, the speed limit doesn't go higher
than fifty five. And everybody when you're at a four
point stop, just sitting there smiling. No you go, no, no,
no you go. You know, it's extremely frustrating because you
can't get anywhere quickly and as soon as the snow
comes out. Let me tell you we're expected to get
everywhere if there's a snow taller than your house. If
you're somewhere else in the world, you know, if there's
a little bit of snow, everything stops. But not in
the Midwest. We got to go everywhere and wouldn't it snows.
Speaker 1: Do you forego your broomstick for like a snow shovel
or a stick or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't love the stereotypes that you guys are
putting on me. It's actually increasingly insalting. Oh there are
bad yeah, no, no, So I understand why you guys
are down here. It seems like you guys pass some judgments. Yeah, no,
I think that you know, maybe in the smaller cities
that is true that they use tractors, but I've actually
never written on a tractor in my life.
Speaker 2: Okay, oh apologies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say sometimes the broom is replaced with
a swift er pick her up?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, gotcha. Yeah those are just handy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what would you know about handy?
Speaker 2: Chris Well fucking got him.
Speaker 1: So, you know, you being the wicked witch so to speak,
of the Midwest, are there any like, yeah, good witches
quote unquote. You know, I'm not passing judgment, but like
I feel like you guys kind of have foils to
one another.
Speaker 4: I knew this was gonna happen because it keeps happening.
Everybody out here keeps hiring me to interview because I'm
a cheaper guest. I'm not so important, but I have
alphabat and speed dial, and I went to college with
Chapel Roon. Yes, she is the good Witch, the Midwest princess,
as they say. But you guys can't use me to
get to Chapel. Her and I have not talked in
probably ten years.
Speaker 2: Do you travel on the Yellobrah Road? Oh?
Speaker 4: I think we all do, don't you.
Speaker 2: No, it's mostly like uneven gravel down here.
Speaker 4: Ah. Oh, the yellow Bick Road is just so convenient
you can't miss it, you know. Ye.
Speaker 1: Have you encountered any fun people like a talking scarecrow
or a man made of metal that's frozen, or being.
Speaker 4: In the Midwest, you just meet a lot of men
who like to gas light.
Speaker 1: I see, And do they have any like unique qualities,
like maybe instead of like a lion?
Speaker 4: Oh well, I'd like to think that they are missing
a brain or too. Am I right?
Speaker 2: It's good?
Speaker 4: No? They also just like drink a lot of beer
and talk a lot about the corn Huskers, And I
don't know. It's fine, I guess, but like, at the
end of the day, it's just the same old, same old.
All of the men in the Midwest. They just kind
of look and smell and act the same.
Speaker 2: So are corn Huskers like a gang or.
Speaker 4: Oh they think so they act like that. Yeah, No,
it's just like a sports ball team.
Speaker 2: Oh, for a while there or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'd walk in on Chris alone, I thought he's a
bit of a corn Husker himself.
Speaker 4: Nice. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 3: Practice makes perfect, is what I've always said. I'm a
little old fashioned myself. Oh, I don't know. I feel
like I might have a lot of Midwestern tendencies and
I just have always identified as a Midwestern.
Speaker 4: Right, really, Yeah, did you live in the Midwest or.
Speaker 2: Chris, tell me about what Midwestern qualities you have.
Speaker 1: This is the first time I'm hearing about this when
I'm so interested to know more.
Speaker 2: Well, like, I hate going all the way to the west.
Speaker 4: So far, so far, You're so right, and usually the
roads are closed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I'm like, what I just meet in
the middle go to the Midwest and it's great because
you've got culvers.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, culvers fried cheese curds from culvers. Okay, Chris,
maybe you're not shitting bricks over here. I mean, you're
not blowing smoke up my ass, all right.
Speaker 3: I do sometimes shit bricks, but that's only because Clayton
makes me eat them.
Speaker 2: I do make him eat them.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I actually make him eat the concrete mixture dry,
and then the bricks naturally developed within his intestines.
Speaker 4: That makes sense as to why he's built the way
that he is. The more that I'm learning about his diet,
the more I'm second guessing this situation.
Speaker 3: Actually funny, you should mention the way things are built.
This entire studio is built out of bricks that I shit. Yeah, yeah,
that's why it kind of has a distinct crissy smell.
Speaker 2: Hmmm.
Speaker 4: No, everything seems to be making a lot more sense here, fellas.
And so this isn't a situation where I could change
my mind, then, Oh well.
Speaker 3: It's whatever you're comfortable with. I mean, I just would
love to have a chance to woo you. I have
had a lot of good qualities. I think we just
had such a connection before.
Speaker 4: Oh right, Okay, so I think that our spells might
have gotten crossed here.
Speaker 2: Well, you can's a spell on me?
Speaker 4: I did? You're right? Oh you did, No, I did,
so look at you. I could just eat you up right.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah I could. Hey, I'm tasty.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm a little I thought that you
would be, and that's why I came here today. You know,
but seeing as you're shitting bricks literally, it might change
my mind. But this one over here, you got a
little bit more meat on your bone.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thank you. I mean, I e Chris is
servings of food. Also, Chris, I'd never realized what a
terrible flirt you were. I mean, that was that was
hard to watch I just kind of went silent, disassociated
just watching you just bomb. Wow, you know watch this? Okay,
ab a what abba cadabra?
Speaker 4: That was just offensive.
Speaker 1: Well it looks like Chris's cooked, which I think is
like a good segue into roasts and abba.
Speaker 2: Feel free to join us.
Speaker 1: So we have some Patreon followers, and you know, one
of the ways that we say thank you for their
contributions is to learn about them and then shit on
them and make fun of their information.
Speaker 4: Oh I'm starting to see a pattern.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, we're very toxic here. Yes.
Speaker 1: First up, we've got someone named Orlando Hey, last named Florida.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming.
Speaker 1: They're a twenty eight year old who lives in Las Vegas,
and they're a huge RTE fan, one of the not
toxic ones.
Speaker 2: Bad news for Orlando. You're in the wrong company, that's right, Die.
Speaker 1: They say they're an ops manager for an AV company.
They do indoor climbing V three slash V four on
a good day, rookie numbers. They're a PS five gamer.
These are just numbers. They didn't mean nothing to me.
V four V five PS five.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then they said they're a proud overer of
a seven hundred dollars lightsaber. I wouldn't be very proud
of that.
Speaker 4: It sounds like they spent a lot of time indoors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like it.
Speaker 1: For embarrassing story. Their first art X they got to
go to was their last art X that ever happened. Oh,
they went to the last RDX.
Speaker 2: I got it. They got a lam Kyborg and the
Mighty Pin from Stinky Dragon Area and they got to
meet Chris.
Speaker 3: That is an embarrassing story. They got to meet Chris, Oh,
they bought Kayborg merch. That is embarrassing, all right.
Speaker 2: Shut up.
Speaker 1: They said for a whole year of their life they
were only allowed to wear the color white for religious reasons.
Oh said, they're no longer practicing that religion. What religion
were they co collect clan member?
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, that doesn't sound like a religion.
That sounds like that. That sounds a questionable.
Speaker 4: It looks like they'll be joining us.
Speaker 1: What happened after Labor Day?
Speaker 4: Are but are there? Actually?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: It was bad, It wasn't bad, all right, So thank you, Orlando,
thanks for supporting us. We also got Andrea, also known
as Andy. Andy says they're in their thirties, married to
a husband for four years, but we've been together for thirteen.
Speaker 4: Wow, he too many.
Speaker 2: He fucked around for too long. That was like nine
years too many. And he's a man lives in a
very small town in upstate New York, right on the
border of Canada.
Speaker 3: So in a small town and you dated for nine
years without getting married, right?
Speaker 2: They were keeping their options open, Chris.
Speaker 1: Well, they said they're a direct support professional and they
take care of the elderly disabled.
Speaker 2: So I don't think we can really make fun of that. Oh.
They also said that they rescue cats and find them
new homes.
Speaker 4: I bet they smell like cabbage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, between the helping the old people in the cats,
cabbage would be like a perfume to them. I think, right.
But that's super nice of them Andy, to take care
of these guys.
Speaker 3: It's not really in despair of being roasted. Andy, you
got to tell us the bad stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to be able to make funny.
Speaker 4: Oh. I figured it out.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 4: Her husband is one of the elderly changes diaper.
Speaker 2: Huh yeah, paycheck.
Speaker 1: When they were five, for some reason, they got in
their head that December was the end of the school year.
So when we came back from Chris's break, I was
going to the first grade. So when we came back,
I got all dressed up and went to the first
grades classroom. I was told that I was incorrect in
my assumption, and I promptly started crying and ran to
my kindergarten classroom.
Speaker 4: Oh that's really endearing. Actually, you can't make fun of that.
I don't think.
Speaker 1: Andy seems just like a really nice person. I don't
know what they're listening to this crap.
Speaker 4: Show for Andy, get better taste, move on.
Speaker 2: Find another show, Sneaky Dragon or something.
Speaker 4: I don't Oh, I've heard great things, lots of good voices.
Speaker 2: On that one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they thought they skipped a grade and then they
got held back within the same day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the most embarrassing thing that that's happened to them.
They seem like a good person. Well, fuck you, Orlando,
thanks for listening. Okay, let's get back into it. This
date seems to be going well. I mean, can I
expect date number two? Abba Chris?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: If you want to go oh with Chris? Yeah, well
I usually don't. Usually doesn't last more than one time.
I don't really like leftovers.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm open to that.
Speaker 3: I'm okay, something short term fun, that's okay, fling.
Speaker 4: I don't think a tummy ache is really fun. I'm
really still turned off about the bricks thing.
Speaker 2: To be clear, quick, real quick, Okay, Chris, go over
there and turn away.
Speaker 1: It sts to be clear. You're trying to eat Chris.
Is that what the assumption is?
Speaker 2: Is that what I'm getting right? Oh? So you weren't
flirting with him at the Harmer's Market.
Speaker 4: No, I was asking very nicely if anybody wanted to
be eaten up? Oh and Chris, and I said, well,
he's just so cute. I'd love to eat him up.
Speaker 2: See, Chris is what we call dumb.
Speaker 1: And I think he thought that you were coming on
to him, so he just kind of assumes, Oh.
Speaker 4: So no, so I'm single by choice?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I kind of care either that that was
the case. So what should we do with this Chris situation? Like,
how would you like to handle this?
Speaker 4: I don't really want to eat him anymore. His diet
is absolutely atrocious.
Speaker 2: So if I did something to like, I don't know
if I gave him some like stuffing or something. Is
there anything that we can do? I mean, he look
at him over there, he's just so.
Speaker 4: Sad, and you know, why does he smile like that.
Speaker 2: When you all I have done.
Speaker 3: I want to do a little performance to maybe have
you change your mind.
Speaker 1: Is there anything we can do for him? I mean,
do you have another friend that would eat him?
Speaker 4: Well? I'm trying to think. I mean, I wouldn't mind
an extra flying monkey in my court. You know, if
he's a performer, I could take him off your hand.
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean we can work some sort of agreement out.
I mean, you know, like you take him for Monday, Wednesdays, Fridays.
Does that sound fair?
Speaker 4: I love that arrangement actually, because too much is too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just need to promise to be really mean
to him, you know, just treat him like shit, because
I think as long as he's being led on that
he thinks that you're attracted to him, then that's kind
of torture.
Speaker 2: And I kind of like that so well.
Speaker 4: Actually, now that you say that, you know, the Midwest
is full of corn and there's never too many scarecrows,
and it's not like i'd have to remove his brain.
It seems like it's already gone.
Speaker 2: Oh it's gone. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I could pin him up once a week. The crows
won't leave him alone. Probably that's probably torture enough.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I mean if they peck out body parts
and things like that, I think that that's agreeable with me.
Speaker 2: And he'll keep your corn safe, probably.
Speaker 4: Right, and that smell will definitely help.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, so I have a I know y'all are talking,
but hey, so yeah, I might eat bricks, but wow,
he's a brick house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you actually want to take him on Fridays
as well, you can take him on Friday.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, No, I think Fridays is probably best
for both of us because he'll be good entertainment for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a fact, okay, Chris. That okay, I
have a seat there, Chris. That was a good performance,
very very good. Well shake it down, shake it down now,
shake it.
Speaker 4: Down now, Chris. They think that a big lesson that
you could take away from the situation is maybe you
should really read the signs at the Harmers market and
maybe some social cues. That's going to be really helpful
for you in the future too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'd never been good at picking up on signs.
Speaker 4: And that's evident. And that's okay.
Speaker 2: So what do you say?
Speaker 4: You know, I'm not going to eat you up, but
I think I don't mind cianya once or twice a week.
And maybe you could help me around my farm, how
about that?
Speaker 2: Hey, I would love to. They don't call me Chris
for nothing? What does that mean?
Speaker 4: What do they call you Chris for?
Speaker 2: What do they call you Chris for? Then?
Speaker 3: Well, they call me Chris because I'm really good on farms. Oh, Okay, anyway,
but yeah, I would love to go.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, Ava, he's excited. He's very happy at.
Speaker 4: The end of the day. Chris, don't piss me off. Okay.
I definitely didn't drop that house on my sister. Okay,
but as long as you behave yourself, I definitely won't
drop a house on you. Okay.
Speaker 1: Notice the wink, Chris, Yeah, yeah, again, not flirting. That
subtext that's saying that she did, in fact drop the house.
Speaker 4: Oh, I didn't even consider he would think that was flirting.
Speaker 2: You're right, Yeah, you have to be very clear with Chris.
I got youa right, Okay, stop winking back, you know, No, No,
I got you.
Speaker 4: You're getting really close to me, actually, I yeah.
Speaker 2: So anyway, Hey, let's get to farm in. Huh. I
can't wait.
Speaker 4: Don't make me regret this, Chris.
Speaker 2: Oh oh he will, he will.
Speaker 4: Okay, So, Chris, only I only brought one broom, so
you are gonna have to walk behind me.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's fine.
Speaker 1: It does go fifty miles per hour, though, she said
that earlier, so you're gonna have to really keep pace.
Is there anything we can do to maybe like lighten
him up so that you can kind of carry him
with you a little bit better.
Speaker 4: Oh you know, I could fill him full of hay and.
Speaker 2: Stud Yeah, I would probably lighten him up.
Speaker 4: I did that once before because.
Speaker 1: He's mostly concrete now, so yeah, I think that that's
going to shed some weight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll just be like going through all the stages
of the Big Bad Wolf here, Am I right?
Speaker 4: Sure? Once again just making the offensive jokes.
Speaker 2: Oh, Chriss batt In one thousand, Well abba, wicked Witch
of the Midwest. Super great having you on.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, thanks, good to meet you.
Speaker 2: You as well, you as well? All right, Chris Hail
Clayton Clayton, I think this went really well. I think
so too, Chris. I think you did great. It's going
really well.
Speaker 4: Okay, Chris, hurry up, please let's go.
Speaker 1: Okay, be right there, stop winking, Okay, Hale Clayton, thank
you so much to our good friend Laurel rothmol rothamel
is that it Did he get it right?
Speaker 2: Did I say it right?
Speaker 4: Oh? That's okay, that happens.
Speaker 2: All Yeah for coming on. Where can people find you?
What do you do? Tell everyone about you?
Speaker 4: Okay, well, thank you guys for having me. I am
a full time I'm gone done greater. So you can
find me pretty much anywhere on the internet using my
full name Laurel Rothamel. On Twitch, I go by just
my first name Moral. But yeah, I do everything from
voice acting, TTRPG stuff, gaming, and sometimes reaction content.
Speaker 2: So you just had a big Twitch subbathon recently I did.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we just celebrated my five years on Twitch. So
I streamed for oh gosh, like nineteen days straight. I
know I should have streamed for a nineteen days gang Twitch.
It's Laurel everywhere else it's Laurel Rothamel. If you want
to subb to my Patreon, it's Laurel r. I know
you can't get it everywhere.
Speaker 3: It happens people who are familiar with me and Blaine,
they might recognize your voice because you've done a lot
of incredible work as a voice actress on tels from
Sticky Dragon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I actually just recorded more so
you guys will see me in the or hear me
in the next upcoming season two.
Speaker 2: So nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really excited about this next character. And then
y'all keep making me play characters that don't stick around
very well, like mom Yo.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I forgot about that. Also, you do a
lot of horror content, right.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, yes, that's a special interest of mine. So
around Halloween, I go all out on my YouTube channel
and on Twitch.
Speaker 2: Just like movie reviews and just.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll talk about movies. We play scary games on
my stream. I also like go all out for decorating
for Halloween.
Speaker 2: So yeah, awesome, Well, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 3: We're going to go talk about all of our sins
on why We're going to Hell, which you can catch
next week if you go to Good Morning from Hell
dot com and support us on our Patreon.
Speaker 4: Yay, bye bye