Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I'm Stephanie Wilder Taylor and welcome back to Drunkish.
Whether you've just quit drinking, you're sober curious, or you
like listening to stories about alcoholics, I hope there's something
here for you. And before we get to the show,
I would love for you guys to give me a
rating on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening. It really
helps people find my show. And also I would be
so appreciative if you'd go to the YouTube page at
Drunkish Podcast and give that a follow. Today, I have
my friend, my neighbor, a man who is literally running
for Congress right now in California District thirty two, Josh Solder.
Speaker 2: He is a.
Speaker 1: Comedian, a writer, an all around funny guy, but he's
very serious when it comes to his vision for making
California better. And I can't believe how just honest he was.
This was such a great talk and I know it's
going to be an even better listen. So let's go,
and we are here with Josh. Josh, my neighbor, my friend,
the first person to really give me a good hug
after I lost my dog, and he's also running for Congress,
and Hi, josh.
Speaker 3: Hi, Hi, Stephanie. Yeah, I remember where we were. We
were at Trader Joe's, having like a real emotional moment
because I was really moved and we were both of
us just crying at Trader Joe's, hugging each other in
the middle of like right next to the bananas and
the zucchini.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly where we were.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, because when I had happy to be.
Speaker 1: You have a dog, Well, we've been on we've had
parallel dog journeys because you had your last dog before
you're this dog, before Gus. You had Louis for many
many years and he as he declined you, I'll just
totally off the topic of sobriety, but like that was
hard when you were like today's louis last day, and
do you want to say bye? And and then so
I knew who to come to when my dog, who
passed in November was dwindling and I asked you what
you anyway?
Speaker 2: So we were bonded.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely I could because Louis my first dog.
He lived to be fourteen, and it does connect his sobriety,
but he sort of lived out the end of his
life in this neighborhood, and one of the dogs that
he really liked was your dog Pepa, and they both
shared this nice, sort of calmer, older dog, you know,
just personality they were both they and Louis. It was
so tough. He was my soul dog, you know. He
was fourteen when he passed, and when he did, I
remember telling him at the time. I just said that
I was not strong enough to let him go on
my own and that he had to tell me. And
then that night, all night long, he was just pawing
at my feet all night, and I knew that it
was time. So we ordered from Petitois a big mech
like a fifty dollars hamburger, which was his favorite. He
would often when we would order food, he would always
find a way to get the big Mech. And we
bought this company and they used this I don't know,
they couldn't have known, but this amazing purple blanket and
Louis was named for Louis the fourteenth Louis Cataurus, the
sun King, and he was laying out in the sun.
He had just eaten his big mech on this royal
purple blanket, and it was just this amazing he's full
and he looked like son King, you know, in his
last moment. And yeah, I remember when you told me.
I just it's so tough to lose a dog because
they're so they're a part of our lives. When I
first got sober, Louis was he was the only thing
that I had in my life. I got sober in
the beginning of twenty nineteen. On January first, because I
like to do things ruined holidays from my family, right,
So I got like I had a dui which was
a long time ago, which was about over ten years ago.
On Thanksgiving weekend. So I called my mom as you do,
from jail on the Sunday of Thanksgiving, and it was
my niece's first Thanksgiving and so my my mother was
just celebrating, you know, Thanksgiving with her first granddaughter. And
then there I was, you have a collect call from
Culver City jail.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: And then again on January first, twenty nineteen. This time
it wasn't a collect call. It was my cell phone
seven am from la a hospital room, broken angle, broken
leg to my mom and she said, yeah, okay, well
I guess your dad is going to fly out there
and help you and I got back to my house
and I see Louis at the door, and I'm on crutches,
and I thought, how am I going to walk this dog?
But the thing about Louis was that he was kind
of a crazy dog. He hated German shepherds and other
like very specific like Formese mountain dogs. He just hated
them for some reason. And I was so worried when
I was on crutches because I had to go without
a leash with him, and I just told him, you
got to stay close to me because I can't do
this any other way. And he did. He listened, and
sometimes the German shepherd would out from around the corner
and he wouldn't go crazy at them. And it was
also an interesting thing because when I first got sober,
I had a sponsor in the very very beginning, and
he said, met Louie and he said, WHOA, that is
one big dog. It must be difficult to pick up
his poop. And I just said, well, I don't really
do that, and so for the first like seven years,
I never picked up it. And he was a big
in English mastive pit bull mixed huge poops, and I
would just live. People would step in him and they
get mad at me, and I was just like, heck,
you do you know what I mean, like who care?
And people would get so mad. And I remember being
on crutches and my first sponsor he told me, you
got to pick up this poop. And I was like,
but I'm on crutches, and he's like, okay, well you're
gonna do it. And I did. And that was the
beginning of me like picking responsibility for myself and for
my dog and my neighborhood. And I decided that and
I got really good at picking up poop on crutches
and people would it and they were like, whoa, this
guy is going above and beyond, you know. But I
was actually just picking up for the first time ever
in my life.
Speaker 1: I remember hearing at a meeting somebody say, we're sober,
we return our carts at the grocery store.
Speaker 2: And I couldn't ever.
Speaker 1: Not return my cart after that because I was like, oh,
you have to do that, Like, oh is that.
Speaker 2: With that whole cart?
Speaker 1: Return areas for like I thought we could kind of
just leave them.
Speaker 2: No, I wasn't like a monster. I didn't leave them
like in the middle of a parking.
Speaker 1: Space, but like if you move it over like it's
not in anyone's way. And as soon as I heard that,
I was like, oh shit, I got to turn all
my carts back in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, there were so many I was so
selfish in so many different ways when I got sobody,
and I was when I was on crutches. My sponsored,
you know, one of my neighbors. We I was living
in an apartment in Hollywood off of Melrose and Highland,
and maybe three weeks in she said to me, you know,
I hate to do this, he say this to you,
but in the middle of the night, when you get
up to go to the bathroom and you're hopping to
the bathroom on one leg, well that shakes my wall
and it wakes me up. And she said, would you
mind using your crutches? And I called my sponsor because
that's what I did back then. I just I didn't
have anybody else really to talk to, and I called
it and he was and I was so angry this,
you know, like all of this sud stuff had and
he said, well, how about you just try to do that.
Why don't you just like think about what she's going through.
She's waking up in the middle of the night, So
why don't you just do it? And they did. And
there were all these things that I just tried to
do because I had truly I was listening to this person,
not because because I just like was too tired. Everything
that I tried to do was and it led me
to this place where I was in an apartment in
Hollywood with no food for myself, nothing but drugs and
alcohol and dog food. And I tried to call as
many people I knew at the time to help me
because I just needed somebody with broken eggle Brooklyn. I
needed somebody to help me to get food and medicine
that day, to go to the store for me. And
I called so New Year's morning, nobody picked up the phone.
The only person who did was this guy that I
did all drugs and alcohol drank with. And I said, hey,
if you come to my house, get me ten big
and egg and cheese sandwiches, pick up my medicine from CBS.
I'll give you all the drugs and alcohol at my apartment.
And he's like, I'll be there in five minutes, right,
And he was there, and then he was true to
his word. He did it. He picked up everything and
then he took out a bag like he trust me.
He like, you know, rag it out and he's like okay,
and he went on a drug hunt, you know. And
during the time that he went to go to get
the medicine and the bagels, I thought, this guy's gonna
he's gonna try to look for it. So I tried
to hide things, and he was on a ladder. He's like, wow,
you did a good job trying to hide all this stuff.
And I remember looking at him as he left, as
he left my place, and he had everything, and I
was so angry at him. But it was the first
miracle that took place in my life. And it's so
interesting the way that things happen in sobriety. You know,
I had a broken I go broken leg, and so
three months later to the day when I had three
months sober, I was at the doctor getting the cast
off and I was going to something else, and he
called me when I'm in the waiting room at the doctor,
just to see, like how's it going, checking in on me.
And then I told him, oh my gosh, I'm three
years sober. You help me. And I think that that
freaked him out because I hadn't I didn't hear from
him really again. But it's funny how things happen by coincidence,
Like on the day he was there that first day,
and then the next pivotal day was like three months sober,
and I'm getting my cast off and this guy calls right.
And that's the thing that I've noticed in sobriety, right,
is that there are coincidences that happen, and that I'm
finally alert enough and spiritual enough to receive them.
Speaker 1: So when you broke your leg and your ankle, you said,
was that a car accident or was that? Like?
Speaker 2: How did that?
Speaker 3: Oh? Gosh, I wish I wish that it had been something
cool like a motorcycle actionator, because when I was like
at the hospital, everybody asked me motorcycle, accent, motor And
now I was riding an electric scooter on Santa Monica
Boulevard and I was driving it was I had been
doing comedy at the Comedy Store, so I moved out here,
and I was doing improv comedy at UCB, and I
was doing stand up and I was at the comedy
store and there was this and I was working at
Universal Studios, Hollywood as on the two jobs at the
I worked at the Kung Fu Panda Adventure Ride, which
is like I don't know if it still is there.
But and then also I had just been from I
gotten the gig as a wand Master at the Wizarding
World of Harry Potter, where I was, which again jobs
that I hated at the time because they were terrible jobs.
And I had to check. I had to clop in
in my wand Master uniform at Universal on January first
at seven thirty am, right, which meant that I had
to be there at Universal at like six point thirty
change into my uniform. And I was excited about this
because it was like a double pay day, right, like
you get because it's a you get twice the pay,
double the pay. But I was doing this show the
night earlier at the Comedy Store and it was around
a seven thirty eight o'clock show. So I thought to myself, Okay,
this is my plan. I'm going to do the show.
Then I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna come home. I'm gonna
like walk Louie be with him when the fire works
go off because he hates fireworks. And I'm going to
go to bed early and I'm gonna wake up and
I'm going to be there early and clock in. But
what have and was? I did this show? I was great.
Somebody was like you were great, and then I said, yeah,
I was great, and then they said, you know, it's
New Year's where you should have a glass of champagne.
So I had a glass of champagne, and next thing
I knew, I'm like had basically three bottles of champagne
to myself. I'm in a room like by the bar,
all by myself. Everybody is in the main room or
and they're all counting down and I'm just rolling up
joints by myself, listening to the countdown, waiting for somebody
to come in to say, like how great they thought
my set was. I ended up leaving at two thirty
in the morning, and I tried to get an uber
and it was, you know, like a crazy amount of money,
and I thought, I said it out loud, I'm say
I'm going to save some money and I'm going to
write an electric scooter. So I wrote it drunk and
high crashed the scooter, broken ankle, broken leg. I had
already had like a duy that I was doing nothing about.
So This would have been a second one, because you
can get a dui riding an electric scooter. You can
get one riding a horse, and the horse doesn't even
have to be drunk, right like yeah, yeah yeah. And
so I hopped across the street and I called a
bunch of ubers to get me. Nobody would get me,
and then I eventually rode in an ambulance to the
emergency room on New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2: So you called yourself.
Speaker 3: I called nine one one for myself. And this was
after I was almost mugged by someone on the street.
I was on Santa Monica Boulevard, and I remember this.
I was outside of a car wash and a gas
station and there's this like Mexican Indian food restaurant and
I'm on the street and I just asked this person,
would you help me, like to get up so I
can get and then this guy, he was with a woman,
and they tried to rob me. And I looked at
this woman and I said, please, it's New Year's and
she said, he's right, it is New Year's and then
she just sort of like pushed them along and then
they didn't end up robbing me, But that's what it was.
That's all that saved me. It was terrible. And then
I went to the emergency room that night. And the
emergency room on New Year's Eves last morning is a
nightmare because it's full of people who are dressed very well,
but they have like blood pouring out of their head
or like, you know, people were fighting each other in
the emergency room, and every doctor who there is just like,
you know, drew the short straw or they were like
they had Thanksgiving right and or Christmas and sod. They're
just they want everybody there to die, and they hate
everyone who's there, and it's packed with people. It's the
worst place be But everybody did look great. Every you know,
everybody put me. And I was so drunk and high
at the time that I knew that my ankle was broken,
but I didn't know that my leg was also broken.
I found that out like about a week later, and
I said, my leg is really itchy, and then the
doctor actually took an X ray and he said, yeah,
your leg is also broken.
Speaker 1: And so when you called your mom, did she know
that this was a drunk incident or did you just say, like,
I had an unfortunate scooter accident and try to hide
the fact that you were.
Speaker 3: You know, I did. I but she knew, you know,
I tried to hide everything. That was the type of
person that I was was just someone who was always
in fear. I still am like in fear a lot,
but someone who told lies to everybody. The first thing
that I ever did, I mean the patholot was I
just told lies about everything to everybody just because I
wanted to fit in. I never felt like I fit
in and if I just told the right lies, then
people would like me. I was never truly myself, and
so yeah, I told my mom and dad that I
just fell off of a scooter, or maybe I just
said that I slipped on a curb or something. I
broke my angle, and that story didn't check out. It
didn't resonate with them, and my mom when she came
to stay with me. My dad took me at my
first AA meeting ever, which was on I think that
it was like the sixth I know the day. I
think it was the sixth of January twenty nineteen, and
you know, he didn't have to do that. He brought me.
It was on.
Speaker 2: It was your parents weren't together.
Speaker 3: I'm assuming they're together. They're no, they're together.
Speaker 1: He said, your mom said, your dad was going to
fly out to help you. Oh, so they don't live here.
Speaker 3: They don't live here. Both of them live in Washington,
d c. Which is where I grew up. And they
split it. So my dad took the first shift and
then he left, and then when he left, my mom
I had surgery. He left. The next day my mom
came and then my mom started to taking me to
AA meetings. So my dad took me to my first meeting,
then my dad, then my mom took me to meetings.
And there was this place called Bliss Cafe, which was
in Hollyoo, and she took me there. And one of
the things was something that she said to me that
stuck with me that I'll always remember, was that she said,
you know, you have a serious problem, she said. The
reason why, she said, you know, I would love to
take go on vacations with your dad, but we don't
do that anymore because we're worried that we're going to
get a call in the middle of the night that
you're dead, you know. And I called her all the time,
from from hospitals, from jails, and it was a thing
that I sorry. It was a thing that I did
where it's one of the reasons why I became a
big part of h and I. I love to do
h and I to go to hospitals and institutions to
talk to people about about AA. But people still remember.
There are people who I'll bump into still where they'll
they remember me from the Bliss Cafe. The remember my
mom because my mom is from Queen's baside Queen's and
so she has the laugh like grand dresser from the
Nanny and so people will they'll see they'll say, look
at you, you don't have a cast time anymore. Good,
that's good. How is your mom right? Because they remember
my mom took me there? And then there was this
moment when everybody left that was on crutches and I
was probably like enday sober or fourteen day sober. And
it was a Wednesday in January, and I went to
this meeting, the Hollywood Young People Meeting on Los Palmas,
like in between Franklin and Hollywood Boulevard, and it was
raining and it was at night, and I just I
was on crutches by myself, and Uber dropped me off
and I looked up at like the rain coming down.
I just like looked up and I didn't know what
I was doing at the moment, but I was raying,
you know, like give me a reason to stay at
this meeting. And I could hear the call of Hollywood
Boulevard and a car parked and this like really beautiful
young woman walked out of the car, and I was like, okay,
I'll stay at this meeting. You got me to this one,
and that he ended up really saving my life. I
sat in the back and she brought in the speaker,
who was really funny, and he said, I when he
first got sober, he sat in the back, and then
somebody told him to move forward. Then he moved forward,
and then eventually two weeks after that, I was sitting
in the front and I asked her for a commitment.
She said, well, you're here with a court card, so
why don't you sign court cards? And that's what I did,
And I took commitments at meetings, which is a thing again,
having a commitment, taking responsibility for myself and my sobriety.
That was something that I didn't do. I didn't take anything.
I had no responsibility for anything at the time, and
that was the beginning of it for me, you.
Speaker 1: Know, I had when I got sober, I had three kids.
My oldest daughter was four, my twins were eighteen months old.
But I swear to you I still had that same
mentality of just like take a commitment. I was like, you,
I don't think you understand, like how busy I am.
Speaker 2: You know. My sponsor was like, well, that doesn't really matter.
It's not my problem, like this is what we do.
And I was like ugh.
Speaker 1: And I had to take the coffee cleanup commitment, and
I was like so aggravated about it every single week
because I'm like, I gotta do this fucking coffee cleanup
and I barely want to be here in the first place.
And if I and then every week I'd be like,
I'm not going to go to the meeting, and then
I'd go like, oh my god, but I have to
do the coffee cleanup. People are going to be My
Worse than doing the coffee cleanup was the fear of
disappointing people and having them go, oh, Stephanie's just doesn't
show up for things. So I was like, yes, okay,
I'll go, but then I'm going to find somebody to
cover I'm gonna let Every week, I'd be like, I'm
gonna let them know that I'm just way too busy
to be doing this coffee clean up. Plus it's really
boring and I don't know how it's helping me because
I'm not meeting people. I'm in the back of the
kitchen cleaning a coffee urn. But I swear to you
that kept me sober because I had to keep coming
to the meeting.
Speaker 2: It tricked me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it tricks you. And then there's other things too
that end up tricking you. Like my friend who I
sat next to you, I did the court card commit mood.
You have to stay after to do it, and he
cleaned up coffee. Jason a good friend of mine still,
and I remember nobody ever had a court card. But
then eventually people started needing court cards to sign and
I loved signing and I was like, I'm here on
a court card too, and they were like okay. But
it made me happy just to feel connected to people,
because I think that I was so disconnected from everything
at the time and everybody, and I remember that it
brought me joy just to be there and to feel
to hear other people be really, really funny to hear
people laugh. And this woman me As she brought in
just huge crowds of people for these meetings, so there
would be hundreds of people in attendance, and she brought
these amazing speakers because she got sober. Her story was
super gnarly, you know, and I thought that, you know
that my story was just didn't compare. But it was
funny to hear other people when I would tell my story,
They're like, oh, no, your story is really crazy. Yeah,
because it and it really is, like what gets you there?
But that's what it was. It was commitments. And then
I eventually became the secretary of that meeting, the Hollywood
Young People Meeting, and it was at the beginning the
next year, so it was twenty twenty. And all of
the people who came to this meeting to be because
Mea brought them, none of them came back, so it
was like a brand new meeting. There were five people there,
you know, and and I. But then three months later,
COVID happened and this meeting ended up being discovered by
people all over the world. So it turned out that
eventually there would be thousands of people from all over
the world at this meeting and there was a whole
group of people who ended up getting sober for the
very first time on Zoom. They needed like the pandemic
to get sober, right, they needed. Then they created their
own you know what's app groups and this group that
I created, like with this guy Dopam Christian Dopamine Beings.
I just checked it out right before we did this,
and it started as just like me, this guy Christian
and this other guy from Tennessee. And now it has
like thousands of people in it. I don't really participate
in it as much as I as I used to,
but it's still like every day people are posting. And
I remember there was this this woman Kai and she
said like I remember, She's like, how do I get
five days sober? And I was like, oh, I know
how to do that? And I and we talked on
the phone. And now she's like I I went to
go speak at a meeting that where now she's the
secretary Hollywood Young People, which is now back in person
at the at the lodge. What is that like the
log cabin in the log cabin, Yeah, like this historic
old place and she was the secretary and she brought
me and She's like, I'm three years sober, and I
was like, do you remember when you asked me, like,
how do I get five days over? And she's like,
I think about it all the time, and yeah, it
was just that was the a real turning point as well.
And then like helping all these people and then like
your your commitment runs out and then you stop. You
had all of this, you were helping all these people,
and then you're back just a regular person. You're not
the secretary of this meeting somebody else's and being the
whole doing all of this stuff in sobriety. It really is.
It's it's really transformational, you know, like being of service
to people, which I think I had never been of
service really to anybody, you know, certainly not not by
not picking up my dog's huge poops. Right.
Speaker 2: Let me let me ask you this though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were a comedian, you were trying to
do in comedy, you get sober, did you go back
to doing stand up like and what was that like
and did you have that feeling of oh my gosh.
A big part of because I love talking to comedians
about this kind of thing. I just had Rich Seidner
on the show it hasn't aired yet at the time
that we're talking, But I'm always so curious because I
did not think that I was going to be able
to be funny. Yes, even as a writer, I was like,
how am I going to? Like a big part of
my identity as a drinker was like this makes me
edgy and I'm.
Speaker 2: Cool and I'm creative, and.
Speaker 1: I had such low self esteem. I think even though
when I got sober, I was forty two, I had
had multiple book deals, but there was some sense of
imposter syndrome for me that was like, I don't know
if a lot of this is just tied though to
like after I have some wine, I feel like some
really edgy, cool author, And what's that going to be?
Like just me and the computer or me and an audience, Like,
am I even going to be able.
Speaker 2: To do that?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think that it's really scary like that I
just assumed that I would never be funny again, or
that I wouldn't be that I would lose my connection
to everything. But I think that I had this show
that was booked right when I got this guy asked
me to do it, and I did it, and then
my sponsor, I you know, I took the commitment. My
sponsor said, you're just going to do the show, and
I did it, and I didn't. I didn't feel funny,
but I was on crutches and I just started again
like sort of discovering the thing that I thought was
funny about myself. It was I used to have like
all these big premises or all these weird, far out things.
It was more of like a Zach Gallifanakis type vibe
to it, you know, like him like at the Purple Onion,
you know, where he's drinking and like really far out
things like that. But then it was just more real,
you know, and I found the part of me that
I think is authentic. And the first show that I
did somebody for the first time. They this person who
was sort of like running the shows at this place
that it used to be. They said, wow, like that
was the first time that I've ever seen you be funny.
In fact, I you know, like I thought that you
were kind of annoying, and I didn't really like it,
like because I would always try to find like what's
the perfect cocktail of drugs? Right, Like, if I'm going
to do a show later that day, I need to
like start the day and the whole day is focused
around like that moment in time, and how will my
what cocktail will I have to be on? And I
knew the exact amount, like exactly what it had to be,
and it would and I would always try to hit
it at that moment, but this time it was really
scary and I had no and I just started talking
about what happened to me that day, you know, and
what my life is right like that I work at
the I said, my you know, I work at the
Kung Fu Panda Adventure Ride a Universal Studios, Hollywood, and
that is a thing that people laugh at because it's
a funny job. And and I was like, you know,
the thing about it is that like I just really
like it right which is another thing too because because
people would imagine that you're going to hate that job.
And I did this bit at the time, which was
that like I stopped drinking, butanomen addicted to smiling and waving,
which is a thing that like, you know, and at
first you just start like smiling away with people, and
then you said and then eventually like connect with the kid,
and then they smiled back at you, and then you're
like doing it and then you're at the end, you're
like scarface, you know, you're like say hello to my
little friends. Right. So that was like my big, my
bit right in the beginning, and it was just true
and authentic, and I would and I would truly get
high on smiling and waving at people. And it was
a job that I hated. But my sponsor was like,
this job sucks and it's the reason that you're going
to stay sober, right, you know, it's the worst job
in the world.
Speaker 2: You you didn't show up.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, they didn't. I ended up getting like
three months leave and then I came or you know,
a couple of months leave, and I came back and
again like I didn't want to do it, and I
kept like calling out, but my sponsor said, like, you
got to do this, you have to do this, and
I just decided to listen to him. And he said
too that like, you know that if you decide, if
you trust this, that that miracles will start to happen
in your life and that things will happen. And he
asked me to write down, you know, five things that
that I wanted, like five sort of like dream things,
and he's like you'll be able to get some of
these things that they'll happen. And you know, it's been
amazing to see like the things that do happen. I remember,
like I want I wrote down like I want to
get back together with my with my ex girlfriend, right,
and he's like, well, you know, we'll see about that.
But the thing that I wanted was that I wanted
a family, right, Like I wanted a partner and a
wife and a family. And I met my wife, my
current wife, when I got one year sober to the
day at the Bliss Cafe, which is the place where
I went like all the time. And she's twelve years
sober now I'm seven years sober. And she she her
sponsor was speaking there and I just happened to go there.
I took a cake and my sponsor at the time,
she had a ticket, Amanda. She had a ticket for
a convention for an a convention where Russell brand I
was speaking at A bunch of my friends were like helping,
you know, to run the convention. So she said, do
you want to you want to come with me? I
thought that she was asking me out on a date,
but she just had an extra ticket to a convention
that nobody wanted to go to basically, so we both
went together and I kept saying, like, do you want
to go to a meeting together? And she's like, are
you asking me out on a date? And so I
said I she said, because I only wanted I want
a date with intention and oh, and so we yeah,
which was both. And I remember like I was working
at Second City on Hollywood Boulevard at the time, and
I was like, oh gosh, like, uh I was with
all these other women. I was like, oh, I don't know,
like this is really like she seems like really assertive
and these other these women I was were going through
like I like her, you know, And then I said, yeah,
I want to ask you. And we went on the
date and it was bad because that was like my
first ever sober dates. And she's like, I guess you
seem fine, you seem like whatever, but I don't know,
this isn't going to work out right, like and it's like, okay, fine,
but my first orb And again, a thing that I
would have done, like when I was not sober, was
I would have like tried to control the situation, right,
like what do I have to know? She doesn't understand,
I'm going to send her a bunch of texts and
like we'll go on another date and I'll be able
to get another one. But my sponsor was like, no,
just let it go. You blew it. It's over. And
I kept going to meetings and I didn't text her,
I didn't call her, and you know, like I was
right around a year sober, and people started asking me
to speak at different meetings, and I was asked to
speak at this meeting on Santa Monica Boulevard, and I
just like went there once, and then they asked me
to speak the next week. And then Tom like tom
Ex got COVID, and all these meetings were shutting down everywhere,
and I asked my sponsor should I go to speak
at this meeting, and he said, yeah, you should go
because I don't know what the world is going to
be like tomorrow, so go and talk to people. And
the meeting where I first went there there were probably
like fifty sixty people, but went after time X got COVID,
there were probably like six seven people there and this
guy picked me up. He drove me and I'm sitting
down to speak and then in walks this girl that
I went to college with. I was like, what the heck,
Palia right, and she's like, Josh, it was really weird.
And then in walked Amanda and it wasn't a meeting
that she had ever been to before. She went with
her friend, my college friend BALI why hadn't seen since college.
And she walked in and she was sitting in the
back and I spoke and the meeting ended and this
guy we went to Whole Foods afterwards, and you know,
it was like everybody was running in sacking, like ransacking supermarkets.
So this Whole Foods was just like yaslate everything. It
was like the movie Intagent, right. And then he drops
me off back at home at my apartment. He's like,
you know, after we saw this this scene at Whole Foods.
He's like, I don't know that the world is going
to be the same. And he's like, and I don't
know that. I'm we're going to see you again. And
I have not seen that guy again right ever. But
I've picked up the phone. I had all these miscalls
from Amanda, and I called her and I started talking
to her on the phone. We talked for like two
three hours that night, and I was finally like normal,
the person who I was, the normal person that I
couldn't be on the date I needed, like the world
to be ending in order to be normal talking to
a girl. And we've been together ever since.
Speaker 2: And you have two kids.
Speaker 3: We have two little kids, and a new dog and
a new English massive named Gucia. We have two little boys,
an almost for a three and a half year old
and an almost one year old. And yeah, we're your neighbor.
Speaker 2: And life has changed so much.
Speaker 1: I feel like when I first met you and we
talked about we had all these things in common. We
had our dogs and sobriety and comedy and uh so crazy.
But I think for some reason I thought you were, like,
I don't know how you could have been twenty years
sober because you're young.
Speaker 2: But and now you're running for Congress.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is so crazy.
Speaker 1: Your life is one hundred percent different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it really is. You know it was. It's it's
like so different when when we moved here, it's so
it's so funny. I remember Xander, your sonone like we
had a block party and he won the high eating
contest and then that was sort of like the beginning
of my political career in an odd way, right, Like
it was like, was you know, hosting a pie eating
contest that Xander won. It was grotesque because they were
from Costco, like these enormous pies, that.
Speaker 2: They were too big. That was unfair, they.
Speaker 3: Were too big, and we yeah, we didn't. We have
not done that since because there was too gross. People
were like, you know what, this is actually too much.
I don't want to watch this. And now the pies
are smaller. We still have the pie eating contest, but
now the pies are smaller. But I think that it
was the beginning.
Speaker 1: He won the watermelon eating test. Let's not just skate
over that.
Speaker 3: That's true. Yeah, he wins eating contests at in the
summer and in the fall, right, no matter what the
season is. Yeah, of course he's winning the contest everywhere.
But I think that it was the beginning, right, Like
we bought this house here in Encino, and Encino has
this thing called neighborhood counsel. Well they have them everywhere
all you know, neighborhood councils. There's ninety nine of them.
And I ran for the neighborhood council and I got
elected with more votes than anybody in the history of
the Encino Neighborhood Coucil, which was one hundred and four votes, right.
But then two years later I ran for reelection and
over three thousand people engaged, like voted in that election. Wow,
And so that was that was the big And it
was more people voted in the Encino Neighborhood Council election
than in any other neighborhood council election across any of
the other ninety nine neighborhood councils in all of Los Angeles.
And it's because I think that what people want, oh jeez,
what people want is like, oh sorry, is connection and community, right,
Like It's been my idea about like about what is
ailing us now, like whether it's the threat of like
an authoritarian president that we have who like authoritarianism thrives
in isolation, separation, and fear, and what brings people together, right, joy,
Connection and community I think is the single biggest antidote
to authoritarianism. And I also think that it is the
thing that we were missing so much during the pandemic.
And what I wanted to do was to create moments
of joy, right like just like in sobriety, right like
to create community connection and joy. And so I started
with just our block, right like, I wanted our block
to bring joy to it, and so I did like
a costume contest, but I also wanted it to be political.
So I wanted our city council member to be in
attendance to judge the costume contest. And the reason why
I wanted her to be there nthe Arama is our
city council member, is because I wanted when these city
council members are making decisions about what's happening in the city,
I wanted her to know to have been standing on
our block, to have met our neighbors, and if we
had some sort of issue, we would be able to help.
And that's what has happened, you know, because she judges
our costume contest, we are we I have her number,
We are able to communicate with one another, and we,
you know, things get done, which is I think like
a sad state of affairs for what happens for the
city of Los Angeles that you truly have to When
all of our street lights were out, for example, right like,
there were no streetlights anywhere, and it took me having
to speak with our mayor in order to get them
turned back on. For eight months, nobody did anything. And
the reason is because there's hundreds of thousands of street
lights that are out and the city is incapable of
dealing with it. And so you have to know the
mayor and speak to her and ask her in person
in order to get your street lights fixed expedited. And
that's a huge problem. So I ran for the Neighborhood Council.
I want. I became the President of the neighborod Council
a year later. I've served as both president and vice president.
And my two moments were during the fires. When I
was the president of the Neighborhood Council, when there the
Palisade fires and we all received these evacuation orders. But
first there were these false alarms. I don't know if
you remember those, but I was standing at the Nelson's. Yeah,
they were crazy. I was in a Gelson faking.
Speaker 1: Chili Is almost burnt down. It was right on the border.
My kids were freaking out. That's that's like an icon,
you know that Chili's at Chili's and Sino.
Speaker 2: It's one of the few that are left. And it
was right next to the line.
Speaker 1: It just about got evacuated. Yes, we're only a few
blocks from there.
Speaker 3: I know we're only I mean.
Speaker 1: We evacuated. You did too, right, we left, We went
to Santa Clarita to brothers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that was probably a good choice. We didn't evacuate.
It was Amanda was six months pregnant. We didn't know,
like we had Gus, we had Nathan, and we didn't know.
You know, we didn't evacuate. But but the mayor and
our city council member, they both reached out to me
because nobody was evacuating right like, they sent these evacuation
orders up, but nobody was evacuating because of the false alarms,
And so they asked, what can I do to help?
So I sent an email out to all of our
in Sceno Council subscriber email subscribers, and I put I
said evacuate now, and I put my phone number, and
people started to calling. I received probably hundreds of phone
calls right like wow, uh and and I was a
ton of people evacuate. We opened up. We almost had
a woman who's ninety six years old and on like
oxygen within medical aids staying at our house that night.
But luckily I was able to get in touch with
her granddaughter who lives in Valencia, and so she was
able to help her. But what I realized in that moment, right,
is that, like, I think it's the thing that we've
all that I've always done, which is that we're sort
of on our own a lot of the time, right,
Like are the people who we elect to office, Like
our congressman, he lives in Washington, d C. Right, that's
where his house is. He doesn't live in the district anymore.
He lives in Washington, d C. So, I mean our
mayor was in Ghana at the time, right, Like our
city council member was here, and I think was effective
during the fires. Police was police forces. They were overrun,
the fire department was overrun. They were not able to
like really do anything to like they were focused on
put on holding the line. And so the people who
were here, right, Like, people were scared and they didn't
know what to do, and they were all evacuate, like,
and it was a really scary time. And in that moment,
you know, I just happened to be the person who
was talking to all these people, the president of the
Nsino Neighborhood Council, right, and what I realized is that
I really liked doing it. I liked being of service
to people. And the next day was the moment that
really got me, was, you know, people evacuated and the
threat had sort of passed, but the National Guard was
on Ventura Boulevard preventing people from getting back into their
houses or preventing burglars from burglarising those areas. And there
was there was this woman who I was driving Nathan
to Whole Foods, and there was this woman. She called
and she said, you know, it's a really silly reason,
but I needn't ask. I need to get back into
my house because my husband died six months ago and
there's a sweater that he has that smells exactly like him,
and I want to get it before it smells of
smoke and of the chemicals that they're dropping on houses.
And so I reached out to the mayor and to
our city council member, and she was able to get
an escort to her house. She picked up the sweatshirt,
the sweater, and she got back into her car and
she called me, and I was in the car with Nathan,
and she was crying and she said, I have it,
and it still smells just like him. And she was like,
thank you. And then I looked back at Nathan and
he could hear the woman was crying, and then, like
a two year old speak, he has like, why is
that lady crying? And I said, your daddy helps people,
and then he said, Dada helps Nathan with trains, right.
I was like, yeah, that's right, he does. He's like
in planes. But it was the first time that I
had ever said that, you know, And that's what I
feel like. I feel that that we need somebody who
truly wants to help people and who truly who lives
here and who knows what's happening, yeah, and is pragmatic
about it.
Speaker 1: So you're running for Congress and when does when does
it happen?
Speaker 2: When will you know?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Or the election. There's a primary election which is on
June second, and the top two candidates advance. There's probably
like eight people who are there. But I feel good
about this. For you, I feel good too. I feel
really really good.
Speaker 2: Your signs are everywhere.
Speaker 3: Exactly, My signs are everywhere.
Speaker 1: Bring you back to this really quick story though, that
before we go that it's just funny because you were
saying you were saying how this ties in like with
sobriety that you weren't sure because I said.
Speaker 2: Do you want to do this podcast?
Speaker 1: Do you think it would hurt your like political aspirations,
and you said no, I think it will help, like
you love to be honest. And then you told me
that you went to this function and you've been in
your head about like do I have to.
Speaker 2: Tell people I'm sober? Is that do I not?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah no. Last night I was at like
a fundraiser at a fancy like a fancy person's house,
a fundraiser for me, and I always show up and
I'm like, okay, you don't have the first person, first
thing you have to you don't have to talk about
sobriety the first thing that you say. And I'm like,
I'll just talk about other things. And I'm standing there
with the with the host and he's just talking to me,
and somebody comes up and he says, he says to me, oh,
he's very excited because he knows that I'm sober. And
he says, we have some non alcoholic wine. And I
was like, okay, great, cool. And then and then and
then somebody else comes up, just a moment later and
he says, oh, yeah, by the way, we have some
non alcoholic wine. And the first thing that comes out
to mouthes say, oh, are you sober? I'm sober And
he said, no, I'm not sober, but sometimes I don't.
I drink non alcoholic beer and non alcoholic wine. And
I was like, oh, shoot, okay, well That'll be the
one time that I tell some that I'm sober. And
then later on when I'm talking to everybody this group
of people, I'm like, by the way, everybody, I'm sober.
And it's just like it is the thing, and it's
the thing that comes up because you know, and it's silly, right,
but you know, the reason why it comes up a
lot is because in Los Angeles and across the world,
across the United States, we have a serious mental health
problem problem with drug addiction and alcohol abuse and homelessness,
and they're all connected, and they're connected because there are
so many people who are sleeping outside, more seventy thousand people. Right.
The people who are sleeping outside, if they're not addicted
to drugs, they have a mental health issue, right, And
that's the reason why they're outside is nobody would want
to voluntarily live outside, right. And the problem is that
in Los Angeles we elect democrats right to run our
places because they align with our views, and Democrats have
our elected officials have failed us because there are more
people living outside than ever before. Our mental health crisis
is larger than it's ever been, worse than it's ever been,
and it's because nobody is coming at it from a
truly pragmatic, thoughtful way. They're not thinking about it in
a way that where there's a real solution.
Speaker 1: And so, but Republicans are not going to do that. No,
and that that Republicans are going to say, here's the thing,
you're not going to sleep on the street anymore, get out,
or we're putting spikes.
Speaker 2: So I don't know how that's going to fix it either.
Speaker 3: Well, no, exactly. And then Republicans, even worse, Republicans are
going to point to California, all these people living outside
as an example of what happens when Democrats run large
states and cities. So we have to get this right, right,
and when our democrats, like when they come up with
these ideas, or it's just either through incompetence or mismanagement
or just you know, good intentions, but bad execution. What
ends up happening is that good people who are truly empathetic,
they reach a breaking point and they say, you know what,
just do whatever it takes to remove these people, because
I can't take this anymore. And that's terrible. Also, it's
there is a solution to this, right, and the solution
it's straightforward, right, like we need to I've sponsored people
who were on skid row. Right Like when I won
this election, there was this homeless person who lived by
the park and he lived there for five years, and
before he lived in the park, right by the park,
he lived under a bridge with his mother for five
years and then his mother found was able to go
inside for one year. I was trying to help this
person like find a place to be inside, and it's
a really sad story because he ended up just like
being showed away by after he came to me asking
for help, and then when they help did arrive, he
refused to take it. And so what we have to
do is in those moments when people are ready to go,
we have to have a place for them to be.
And that was the problem, right, there are places if
we have a huge homeless encampment right by where we live,
or there used to be one, but the mayor and
all these people, they move them from one place and
where they go, they just go to another place. We
have to have a place, a facility where people are
going to go. We have to move them inside, and
there has to be there have to be doctors, nurses,
social workers.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 3: There has to be aa that people are obligated to
go to every single day. Maybe they can have Sunday
off or something. And the promise that can be made
is that is that if all these people go inside,
there will be no you won't see any homeless people,
there will be no crime, there will be no fires,
there'll be no trash. Right, I have a plan that
would reduce homelessness by thirty percent immediately. And it's because
of being sober. Right, It's because I've seen what works
and I know what doesn't work. And I want Democrats,
because I'm a Democrat, to be able to do big things.
And the biggest problem that we face here in California,
and it's soon going to be across this nation, is
one of mental health crisis and homelessness, and it's become
such a horrible situation where now. Police officers. The only
thing that they do is is a lot of what
they do is they they move homeless. They enforce homeless encampments,
so they move homeless people from one corner to another.
Nobody wants to work as a police officer. Firefighters what
do they do? They put up fires that are created
by people who are living outside. So firefighters they go
to five six fires sometimes in a day, just homeless
people created fires. Police officers are dealing with homelesses, and
so then when there are burglaries in our neighborhood, police
officers they're not They're becoming less and less equipped to
be able to solve burglaries because the primary what they
do primarily is deal with homelessness.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, do you have a website where you have
a lot of your ideas and solutions that people can
go check out, Yeah, and see how they can get involved.
Speaker 3: Yeah. It's Josh Solder for Congress All Letters dot Com,
Josh Soder.
Speaker 2: For Congress in the in the description of the show.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Yeah, and Josh Outter Forcongress dot Com.
I'm also on Instagram. Josh Otter for Congress dot Com.
Josh out at Josh outa for Congress and you can
finally also like it at Gelson's in Encino, which is
another thing too, Like I think that you have to
be You could find me driving my kids to school
in the morning.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're just a regular guy.
Speaker 2: You walk your dog like eight times a day total.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And it's because, like what I like about
it is that you know, you talk to people and
you find out what are the real issues in the neighborhood,
and not just in the neighborhood but everywhere. And I
think that in order to be an effective congressman, you
have to be accountable to the people that you represent.
In order to be held accountable, you have to live
in the district.
Speaker 1: And you you learned how to be accountable from Sobriety. Yeah,
it's all full circle, baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it all starts with me picking up poop when
I was on Pretchase. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: What a great message, Josh. Thank you for giving us
your story. This was a great episode. I loved it.
Speaker 3: Oh it was my pleasure. Thank you so much, Stephanie.
I'm so happy to be able to do it.
Speaker 2: I will let everybody know you already told everyone where
to find you.
Speaker 1: But if you don't know, you can look at the
at the description on the YouTube channel, and you can
look at the description on on the way on the
wherever you get your podcast, the description is there.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm losing my mind.
Speaker 1: All right, Thank you everybody, and I will see you
next week.
Speaker 3: Josh by God,